July 28, 2025 • 56 mins
Ryan Garland opens up about his life-changing experiences and personal struggles that shaped him into the leader he is today. His story reveals how vulnerability and authenticity have become the foundation of his business philosophy and personal relationships.
• Surviving a traumatic car accident in 2008 where his best friend nearly died in his arms
• Experiencing financial devastation during the market crash and rebuilding from nothing
• Moving in with his father and borrowing $20 for gas money to meet a potential mentor
• Finding hard money lending opportunities through relationships and transparency
• Building Paradyme around a culture of vulnerability where everyone takes their "mask off"
• Shifting purpose after personal loss and finding new meaning in helping others succeed
• Creating deep connections with team members who become like family
• Balancing business responsibilities with family obligations and making difficult sacrifices
• Learning to accept hardship and use it to strengthen relationships with others
• Finding peace by relinquishing control and trusting in a greater plan
If you found this podcast helpful, please comment and share your own experiences. I'd love to hear how you connect with these stories and what you've overcome in your own journey.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right guys, welcome back.
Thank you for joining us today.
I have a special guest, as Ialways like to say, but this
guy's even more special becausehe is my best friend, my
videographer and my partner incrime, and he's going to ask me
a handful of questions todaywhich are going to be really
close, near dear in my heart,and I'm going to share a little
bit about myself to you guystoday, and this was something
that Joe has been begging me todo for months and months, if not
(00:24):
years and years.
So we're going to chip away atsome podcasts about certain
situations and circumstancesI've been in over my life, and I
really hope that the idea is toencourage others to keep going
when things are hard.
I'm still growing.
I'm only 40 years old, so Iknow I have a whole nother life
in front of me, but at a youngage I like to consider myself
(00:44):
young at 40.
I have been through a lot andI'm just going to share a couple
of situations with you and kindof the takeaway for that.
So, joe, thank you for joiningtoday and I am actually looking
forward to your questions,because I really don't know that
much about which directionyou're going to go, so you're
going to keep me humble and onmy toes, so I really appreciate
you being here, buddy.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Yes, thank you, and it my toes, so I really
appreciate you being here, buddy.
Yes, thank you, and it's alwaysnice to not necessarily be
behind the camera.
Um, and like ryan said, I, Ithink my role in this company
and with paradigm and a part ofryan's life is honestly
something that weighs a lot ofstress that most people do not
understand and with that stress,I I'm able to articulate Ryan's
emotions and understand theinner depths of, not only as a
business development aspect, buton a personal level, to
(01:33):
understand where our founder andchairman actually is throughout
the day.
Because, if you guys can onlyimagine, this guy's phone is on
work mode, or do not disturb fora reason because his phone is
on work mode, or do not disturbfor a reason because his phone
never ends.
And I've said this before in apodcast where, when Ryan calls
me, you have to answer If youwant to level up, you want to
(01:55):
succeed, work your way up tothis company at the top.
And the reason being is becausethis guy's mind never stops
running, and I just shared withhim the other day that, like in
three days I slept four hours,probably because now my mind is
like it and I'm becoming moreand more like him and I'm 10
years behind.
So, with that being said, likehe said, I want to make sure the
(02:19):
audience on the podcast is ableto understand a deeper dive
into the mind of Ryan Garland,because a lot of people just see
the fluff.
They look at the cars, theylook at the development, they
look at when Ryan's going here,going there, but they don't
really understand where all thishas actually transpired from.
(02:40):
And so what?
I kind of want to start withsome people, especially if
you're an investor or a closefriend of Ryan's, you do know
this story.
But, as we all know, 08, 09,the market crash.
A lot of people went throughhard times, but within that time
, ryan also was in an accidentand one of his best friends was
(03:03):
dying in his arms.
So I really for me hearing thatstory over and over again.
It makes me understand Ryanmore, and I'd like Ryan to
really share this as a part ofwhy he's came across so many
obstacles and made him the manhe is today.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Oh, thank you, man.
All right, so let's start off.
Where do you want to?
Speaker 2 (03:21):
go.
Let's start off.
Where do you want to go?
So explain what you werefeeling in that moment when the
accident happened and then tieinto that moment years later to
now.
How does that affect yourdecision making?
Speaker 1 (03:38):
you know.
So it's really kind of ironic.
You want to bring that up firstbecause you're my best friend
and uh so at that time, my bestfriend it was really the, I mean
it was I think I was justthinking about this the other
day.
I haven't had the opportunityto sit back and really think
about it, because my life hasbeen going 100 miles an hour
(04:00):
since then and it kind of neverhas stopped.
And I think, ironicallyironically you bring this up
because the other day I actuallythought about it and I had more
memory of that night, uh, thanI think I ever had since the 08,
you know um, I feel like I kindof blocked a lot of that
emotion out because it was justso painful and and what's wild
(04:23):
is that when I was rememberingmore about it, I, um, it, I felt
more connected to, uh, my lovedones at that moment and I think
I think it just kind of made mehumble and it made me realize
and be kind of count myblessings more than anything,
cause I'm always focused on workand moving forward.
I never look in the rear viewmirror, I'm always moving
(04:44):
forward.
I'm going a hundred miles anhour.
What's going on next day, youknow, trying to chase the time
to get to bed and take, you knowjust the whole thing that goes
with life, but when that?
So, ultimately, what happened?
And I'll give a whole story herebut, uh, there was a car
accident that took place and Iwatched my buddy behind me wrap
a car around a pole and uh, andactually two of my closest
friends were in that car and uh,chris, one of my friends, that
(05:07):
was the driver, he, uh, he wasokay because the car wrapped
around a pole on the passengerside and it was on an embankment
.
So what happened was, is the,the front headlights were pretty
much pointing in the air.
Mind you, this is at 12 o'clockat night, not a lot of people
around, and uh, and so when I,when, uh kind of turn, I had to
(05:27):
turn around and go around amedium and come back around, uh
kind of do a big U-turn.
And when I was able to getthere, uh, ironically will,
which was the passenger that wasthe most hurt.
Uh, I went to paramount or, uh,uh, emt school.
We did a bullet program together, uh, up in San Jose and um,
what was happening was, as Icame down the embankment, I
(05:48):
opened up the driver's door.
I could see Chris is okay, buthe was kind of parked back, so
he had a GTI at the time.
And what GTIs do when you getin an accident with the front
end, your actual seats drop downand they slide back because
they had problems a long timeago from the motors falling on
your legs.
So what they do is theyengineered the seats to drop
(06:11):
back and fall and slidebackwards.
So it's very impressive and I'mglad it did, because that front
of that actually did shift,even though it hit sideways.
This is crazy how violent thisaccident ultimately was.
So when I was I, when I was ableto open up the driver's side
door clearly these thingswrapped around a pole I came
around the kind of in theembankment I was.
I opened up the driver's sidedoor clearly, these things
wrapped around a pole.
I came around kind of in theembankment, I opened up the
driver's side door and so kindof picture a car where it's
maybe 10 feet above me and I'mkind of having to open up the
(06:34):
door above my head and then sowhen I open up the door, it
swings open kind of on thebottom because the car is kind
of on its side right.
It's probably on like a 45degree side, wow, and so I could
see that Chris is on the wayI'm eye to eye with Chris.
And then Will was leaning overhis seatbelt and I'm talking to
Will, I'm trying to get hisattention, see if he's going to
(06:56):
respond.
Chris was responding, but verylightly and when I was looking I
started to look at Will and Icould see his neck is starting
to get thicker and thicker andthicker.
He's having a hard timebreathing and now it's becoming
more vocal that he's having ahard time breathing but he's not
conscious, he's just moaning.
Really bad, he's in a lot ofpain.
And so I started looking around.
I see his leg is completelysideways and around.
I mean it's just bad.
(07:16):
So I ended up I told him to gograb my knife so I can cut the
seatbelt, because Will wasleaning over the seatbelt and
couldn't breathe Because, again,he's in the passenger side so
he's leaning over the driverultimately.
So when I cut the seatbelt Iended up grabbing his waist and
(07:38):
his chest to kind of turn him.
So now his back is ultimatelyagainst the armrest in the
center so he can kind of expandhis lungs and breathe, because I
can tell he's got he's now.
I can hear him gargle, sotherefore he's got now liquid
going on down in there.
So when I was able to turn himsideways, he started breathing a
little bit better and by thattime I can hear fire engines and
(08:00):
paramedics getting there.
And after that I kind of wentblank, because once they rushed
that car, I'm kind of out of it,right, yep.
So, you know, 10, 15 minuteslater go by Now, mind you Will
just graduated from theRiverside County Sheriff's
Department.
So we were going out to havesome fun and spend some time
together and kind ofcongratulate him.
This was on May 31st of 2008.
(08:21):
And I was going to have myoldest son now that his.
He was born in July 25th, soonly like two months later.
So we were all kind ofcelebrating kind of life, you
know, we haven't seen each otherin a long time.
All four of us are gettingtogether, kind of thing.
So fast forward I'm.
I'm giving my statement to thepolice officer uh, one of the
police officers to kind of tellhim what transpired and what I
(08:42):
tried to do, or what have you.
One of the other paramedicswhich, ironically, I went to
high school with.
His name was Brian.
He comes up to me and goes hey,go tell the passengers family
to come say their goodbyes,because, um, he only has maybe a
couple more hours to live.
Now, mind you, his family wasin the high desert, so that's at
least an hour and a half away.
Even back then, and so I don'tknow, I didn't have any idea how
(09:03):
to get ahold of his family.
I didn't.
We couldn't find his phone.
It's just, you know, this swampwith people around the car,
yeah and and.
But he did have a house, heowned his own house and he had
two roommates, and so all I canthink of is maybe get there.
Hopefully the roommates arethere and they can help me try
to get ahold of his family.
So I'm on, I'm on my way, checkthis out.
(09:23):
So I'm on my way up in this.
Mind you, this is in Riverside.
I'm going up, alessandro.
There's a, there's a medium andthere's a medium on this street
and there's three lanes on eachside of the street.
It's a very wide street.
I've driven this thing at leasta thousand times and as I'm
speeding cause, clearly I'mtrying to go get ahold of his
family and I'm nervous and Idon't know what to say.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
My best friends yeah, adrenaline's high.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
I end up, I end up, uh, I'm coming up to the very
top of the, uh, very top ofAlessandro and it's this really
slight right hand bend.
It's not very sharp.
I mean you could do a hundredplus and you could still make
the turn.
And that's what I was doing ahundred plus.
And I go to make the turn andat the very top of that hill is
the communication center forRiverside PD for dispatch.
(10:06):
I, since my father is a retiredLA County sheriff and I grew up
with my father, I know exactlyhow their schedules work.
So I could have been, I couldhave sold my soul knowing that
light was going to be green atthat time of night.
And sure enough, that light wasred and a police officer pulled
out in front of me.
Now it's obviously they had theright away.
I'm speeding up the hill, thelight's red, I'm going too fast
(10:27):
to even do anything about it.
The police officer didn't evennotice I was coming, takes the
green light red for me, turnsleft in front of me and I hit
the back end of the car.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Yeah, felony injury.
They wrote me for felony hitand run.
They were trying to get me onthree strikes and, uh, and you
know, when you hit a policeofficer, they're going to get
you forever.
They just don't, they're goingto light you up, you know.
Um, so, mind you, I alreadyknow my father's a police
officer.
So, um, so, at that moment, uh,they ended up, you know,
(11:01):
arresting me and they take medown to riverside county
hospital and uh, and to getchecked, and what have you, and,
sure enough, chris comesrolling in.
And, mind you, on my way downto riverside county hospital, I
had to drive back by the sceneof the accident, my, the second,
the first scene of the accident, not my accident, the first
thing and how long was the timebetween all this?
(11:22):
uh, from the time of the firstaccident to the second accident,
I would say it's probably 30minutes, 40 minutes maybe.
So when all that had happenedwith Will, I mean, it's hard to
even remember.
I know the steps, because Iknow how I have had to get back
to where I was, but I don'tremember how, like I don't
(11:45):
really remember the motion.
It's almost like I'm kind of oncloud nine.
I'm just seeing light inessence of like how the night
went.
It's hard to feel the emotionof it Because I was so scared
the whole time.
Well, the reason why I wasspeeding is not only to go tell
his family, but I was lookingdown at my phone.
This is like when Bluetoothactually was a thing.
Back then it started gettingbig.
I was able to Bluetooth my carand, and I was making, trying to
make phone calls, looking downat like different numbers to try
(12:06):
to call while I'm going to hishouse.
That's one of the reasons why Imissed, kind of all this stuff
that was going on.
So, anyways, they, uh, theytake me down to Riverside
community.
Um, chris comes by, mind you, hewas the driver, he was okay.
So he comes rolling by, buthe's out at the time.
Uh, and then here comes Will.
They got him out and he's alive.
Now, mind you, I didn't get togo tell his family to say their
goodbyes.
So the whole time now goingback by the scene of the
(12:28):
accident and going, all I canthink about is he's dead, he's
dead, he's dead, he's dead.
So, again, I wasn't worriedabout Chris, but I knew Will was
bad.
Well, will comes wheeling in.
About 45 minutes later, after Igot to the hospital, they got
him out of the car and he wasalive and I, uh, and so thank
(12:52):
goodness for that, right, um,but what had happened was is
when I the the officer that Ihit, which is what really helped
me.
The officer that I hit was afemale officer.
That was a, was one of myreally good buddies, got married
in September the year before.
Really good buddies got marriedin september the year before
and I was one of the groomsmenin his wedding and the, his
wife's sister.
I walked down the aisle, whichwas the female officer that I
(13:12):
hit, and I had no idea what acoincidence, right.
So she writes a letter to the daand everything, and basically I
, I was able to walk away fromand if and if, I recall you had
gotten a celebrity attorney.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Yeah, I went and got Lindsay Lohan's attorney to try,
so you were prepared, though,knowing there was something
worse going to happen.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Yeah now, mind you, I mean, this is an OA, I have no
money, I'm losing everything.
The only money I had left wasgo get this attorney.
I'm trying to be able to bethere to watch my son be born
and, mind you, that was only twomonths later and it was so.
It was just.
You know, they say there's nosuch thing as an atheist in a
foxhole.
(13:51):
You know, that night wasdefinitely kind of an eyeopening
biblical movement for me.
That really kind of changed mylife for sure, which is why,
kind of starting in thebeginning of this, it was hard
for me to really I startedrecently feeling that emotion
because I'm trying to connectthe dots as to my why.
You know, I'm at that age nowwhere I'm like, how did I get to
where I'm at?
(14:11):
Why, what could I have donebetter?
And we always do that.
But I'm just like reallyanalyzing that nowadays, you
know, and I'm really analyzingthe people that I have around me
.
So that was a really, uh, lifechanging experience, as you can
imagine uh, life-changingexperience, as you can imagine
so with that you, it was 2008,so how old were you then you're?
so in 08 I was, no, no, so in 08I was.
(14:32):
So I had shane when I was 24,so I was 20, 24 24.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Where were you at in your business?
Speaker 1 (14:37):
but the market crashed and I literally was
losing absolutely everything.
So, my mortgage company I had alot of very close friends with
me at the time.
Back then, man, you could justhire all your friends at a call
center.
You know you're doing prettygood, but, um, I, I was, I
literally lost everything atthat time.
Uh, it's cause it reallystarted in oh seven and that's
when, uh, uh, shantae gotpregnant my wife at the time and
then, um, yeah, so she, she gotpregnant, I think in November,
(15:00):
and we had him in July,something of that nature.
So I was already losingeverything in November.
So now I'm going through thispregnancy trying to figure out a
way I'm going to put food onthe table.
And my father raised me and mymom left when I was six months
old.
You know, my father's my bestfriend, as you know, besides you
, and and uh, and so you know,being raised by a single father
for so long and the my dad putoff all kinds of things in his
(15:21):
life remarrying to, you know,elevating in the sheriff's
department because he had to bethere for me and raise me and he
had no help, you know, and hedidn't have a lot of money for
babysitting and where we livedat the time it wasn't really a
place to find a babysitter.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Well, he was telling me yesterday that the one time
he scheduled to try and take thesergeant's exam, you and Tiff
would not leave him alone.
And he's like, I asked for onetime and it was my one
opportunity and I couldn't evenbe left alone to study for this.
So, no, I gave up everythingand I was like Joe, you look at
(15:56):
your son now.
But I want to go back into thatsame era and talk about so I, I
hear you, you know let's fastforward maybe three to four
years from there.
So this life-changing moment,you know we talk about where
shane's going and all that.
But I I want to bring in theaspect because I love hearing
(16:19):
the story and I'm sure a lot ofpeople would love to hear this
too where you're in your dad'sgarage and, as you can see, I
got dad gang on.
I'm a proud dad of three.
Um, I love hearing that youwere working in the garage and
Shane is on his power wheels ohyeah so let's talk about that
and talk about how you.
(16:41):
You know you have all this now,but it never came easy for you.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
No.
So when all of that was goingdown at that time in 08, just
financially, and then obviouslythat accident really shifted my
entire life, I couldn't affordit really a roof over my head.
So we actually moved in with myfather in Riverside.
Now, mind you, he was doing anaddition on his own without bank
finance, so he was trying toadd on to both sides of the
(17:06):
house.
So my wife and I and the babyare literally living in a house
that either didn't have airconditioning or, a lot of the
time, didn't have heater.
We had floor heaters because wedidn't have the actual HVAC
system installed.
So he can only make so muchmoney as a police officer and do
an overtime and then he wouldwork on the weekends or whatever
to do the addition.
(17:26):
And then he had guys there too,but it was.
It took like two years basicallyfor him to do the addition.
It would he my dad's the guythat he'll start something and
really never finishes that room,you know.
So it's one of those, butanyway.
So we're sleeping kind of onthe floor.
We got windows in, so we haveto put every single night, we
have to put one of those sheetsup, you know, and our mattress
(17:47):
is on the floor.
So we basically that's how we,you know kind of rode that wave.
And then my father and my wifeat the time did not like each
other no-transcript and so I waslike, okay, give me, give me a
(18:35):
little bit to figure this out.
This is when hard money kind ofreally came out of it for me.
So I just ironically had goodrelationships from the lending
space, cause we did a lot ofvolume in 08.
And I just ironically had goodrelationships from the lending
space because we did a lot ofvolume in 08.
And I just started reaching outto everybody and there was a
couple of guys that I rubbedelbows with in Orange County
that had a big fund at one pointand did private money.
And a quick story is that theguy sold I want to say it was
(18:59):
called Seacrest Industries.
It was a big.
They didri systems andtechnology and software for
basically every radiologydepartment around the world in
some cases.
And so, uh, he ended up sellingthat company for some
ridiculous amount 690 milliondollars.
So, uh, and then he ended upbuying it back.
It tanked in 08, right, so he,that way, he sold it before 08
anyways, uh, he ends up usinghis son was the was lending his
(19:22):
money out in hard money.
That's ultimately so, dad, richdad, saying here, son, I'm
giving you a business to run,lend my money out in hard money.
In essence, take properties ifyou need to, right, just hard
money loans.
That's where you make yourmoney, right.
So I really learned the gamefrom that world family office
guys that were verysophisticated, they were sharks,
but they were very smart, um,and very educated.
(19:43):
I mean Orange County guys thatjust knew how to make money.
And so, anyway, so I reach outto one of my guys and I call him
, and at the time I had bought aChrysler 300.
That's all I could afford,right, and this thing, it barely
ran.
Man, it was just, you know, andI, I, he, the, his name was Dan
my, it was my old mentor.
(20:03):
He says, hey, if you can comeinto my office, um, come into my
office sometime next week andlet's talk, right.
And so we set the time as, like, a Thursday, and I didn't have,
I did.
I had to borrow $20 from myfather to get gas money.
Bro, okay, it was just soembarrassing and demasculating,
you know.
So I, he's like, yeah, noproblem.
(20:25):
So he gives me 20 bucks, Iliterally put a hundred percent
of that 20 bucks.
I'm eating lunch sandwiches onthe way to work, cause it's I
had to make it at home.
I didn't have any money forlunch, so I ended up getting
there and we work a deal and hesays hey, look, you know, you
have what it takes to be great,and I've I've had big companies.
I'm going to stay real smallmoving forward through this wave
.
I need one guy that I can relyon to do exactly what I tell him
(20:47):
to do and let me mentor him.
But if you don't, the minuteyou don't, you're out.
This guy was at a point in hislife where he's like I don't
really want to mentor any morepeople anymore.
Like you know, if you want tolearn the game, you're going to
do everything I say Otherwise.
Everything I say Otherwise, I'mjust not going to.
I don't have the energy for you.
And he said it pretty much justlike that.
But I walked into his officeand from my understanding, he
(21:08):
was one of the guys that fundedthe first hundred million
dollars for, I believe, theIrvine Spectrum.
So he was knee deep in theworld out there.
So I follow his lead, I gounder his wing and that's when
we really started building ourreputation and hard money.
Well, at that time wing, andthat's when we really started
building our reputation and hardmoney.
Well, at that time, to go backabout living at my father's
house, I started making enoughmoney to go, within a few months
(21:30):
, go back to my father and say,hey, I have an exit strategy.
In essence, I can get a housein Marietta, we'll move to
Marietta and we'll.
So we, we ended up moving toMarietta at that point.
That's when I and now, if youthink about it now, I'm having
to focus on putting food on thetable after we just lost
everything.
So now the fight every singlemonth is real Cause we let, we
still lived paycheck to paycheckfor many months, many, many
(21:51):
months, and uh, and that, andall I can do was focus on
building more and more.
And as I continued to build andI was making more and more money
, as more and more money wentinto my account, the more secure
I felt and then the more I knewmy wife could have money.
So I got all the way down towhere I was taking showers at
the gym instead of at home, allthe way down to.
(22:12):
I would work more in the officefor air conditioning instead of
running the air conditioning atthe house.
It was cheaper to run the airconditioning at the office that
the house, that kind of thing.
So I I was forcing myself, dueto financial hardship, to sit in
the office just so I can staycool during the summer.
But when I'm by myself at 10o'clock at night, not tired yet,
I had to figure out how tocontinue to grow my business
(22:33):
because it's all I had to do andit was really kind of out of
fear.
So that factor has rolled intomy DNA all the way down to my
insomnia that I was telling youabout.
I've had for 15 years, I still.
I think last night I had apiece, but you know, I finally
kind of figured out a rhythm,but I, for the longest time I go
to bed at, you know, 10, 10, 30, and I'd be up by 12, 12, 30,
(22:56):
could not sleep until 4, 4, 30.
So you do, you know, and you'restill only getting four hours
of sleep, three hours of sleep.
You know, you, you, it's hard,it's hard to get through two or
three days of that.
So imagine if it was everysingle day, you know, and then
back problems and all the otherissues, and then having to take
your kids to school, and raisinga family and try to grow your
business and that that it was.
It's been.
It's been a hell of a fight toget to where we are now.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Yeah, so with um, you've had a lot of breaking
points and I guess you know Iwant to talk on how, when you
hit your emotional and physicalbreaking point, what are things
that you do?
Because I've seen you and Iknow it's hard for you to also
(23:44):
open up and to be real with howyou feel, because ultimately you
know I hate to say it, butultimately it is what it is
You've now gone through anotherdivorce, right?
So, regardless with who'saround you, I'm sure inside you
feel that you don't have no oneto talk to or you don't want
anyone to look down on you andor your position at Paradigm
(24:07):
paradigm, you have to be thestrong leader.
So what are some things thatyou you do to cope with them?
And or how, how, for those thatare listening, what are, what
are some tips and tricks thatyou can give for people when
they hit those breaking points?
Speaker 1 (24:24):
move forward um, I think one thing that helps is
kind of my faith.
I.
I just know that everythinghappens for a reason and you
know that, saying two ears, onemouth, like I, I really do
accept hardship and pain.
You've seen me under pressure alot and I somehow some way
won't stop going.
(24:45):
Um, so I'll give you theemotion I have when you just
brought brought up my, you know,unfortunate divorce here, when
I, I, my purpose for the last 11years was for my family, right,
so, like rebuilding, goingthrough my first divorce,
unfortunately, and I've had tokind of rebuild then, um that
(25:08):
when you have so, you get to apoint where the only way to keep
going you can't really do itfor yourself.
You really don't.
There's got to be a deeper rootto fight this world, for you to
keep going, whether it's yourkids, your spouse, for love,
whatever the case may be, and Ithink what I've, what I'm
currently going through, is mypurpose.
(25:29):
To build this company wasn't forme.
It was because of the securityI was receiving from my wife and
how I felt as a man.
Uh, putting food on the tablefor my kids.
That's just straight.
Um, yes, you, that's yourresponsibility, blah, blah, blah
.
But what did it do for my soulwas I felt like my wife will
(25:51):
value me more if I'm able to putmore money on the table.
And then for the unfaircircumstances.
I also know the negativity andwhat's crazy in this world.
I would rather have a littlebit more money than not.
I've had no money for a longtime.
That's why I pushed myself towhere we are today.
But that emotion of you know,when you lose your family, you
(26:13):
really don't.
You start questioning yourpurpose because for the longest
time you're fighting you, youfor 11 years you're fighting for
something you think is forever.
So there's a never give up kindof component to your character.
Or you have to really figureout a way to find and sell
yourself, and and the only wayto do it is just to know that
(26:38):
life will not stop throwingpunches and shooting bullets.
Man, it just never ends.
And and I think I am becoming abetter person by accepting my
hardships, and what I mean bythat is, it allows me to create
a better connection with thepeople that I love the most.
(26:58):
It's allowing me to just acceptthe day-to-day with the people
that are in my life, that Ireally trust are in it for the
right reasons and it allows meto really connect with that Um,
and I I think that's the hardestpart about my life at the
moment is like, what's mypurpose?
Right, and I I've had theseconversations with you and
(27:19):
Tiffany and people inside thecompany and they're like you
have so much purpose, you haveus, we love you, you are your
family, you know, and that rightthere really is so uplifting
and it really does have hope.
And here's kind of my, my, mythought process was you know, I
have so many clients that thattrust us, you know, and that I
made commitments to a long timeago.
So, no matter what goes on inmy life, I've made a commitment
(27:43):
and I have to fall, pull throughand I have to keep going and,
to be honest with you, that'sthe only thing that makes me
happy anymore and just to knowthat I can be a person of my
word.
You know, the other side of itis is that it is my team and my
family and I kind of look at it,as you know, from a biblical
side, that hey, look, if I'mgoing to be the warrior that's
(28:04):
got to take it to save myplatoon, if you will, then I'll
do that.
So what's happening is is I'mliving vicariously through you
and your kids every day.
When you call me on FaceTimewith the kids or you guys post
something about uncle Ryan, youguys come out here and spend
time with me.
Uh, I it's.
It's really kind of a pricelessfeeling because my kids now are
older.
So when I get a chance to seethe younger kids and that and
(28:26):
the craziness that goes alongwith it, which I don't miss, but
in some ways I really do missbecause it was the best time of
my life.
And what's cool is that when Ihave you guys in my life and I
see all that, all of that, it itreminds me that I at one time
had it and that it was sospecial and it was the best
feeling in the world.
And even as it was, hard as itwas and scared about things
(28:48):
financially, I would give upeverything right now to go back
to that.
Um.
So, uh, sorry, dude, just oh,that's that's what this is about
doggy um so you know, that's,that's my, my own, in essence,
demons.
But I, I think the, the way youhave to, the way you have to
(29:11):
frame it in your mind, is thatyou will get past this.
And I've actually been throughsomething similar in the past
and I was able to find loveagain.
And they say, hope deferredmakes the heart sick, but when
the desire comes, it's a tree oflife.
You know, I always rememberthat and I've had, I have a lot
(29:33):
of wonderful people that createthat hope in my life.
But I, I can tell that there'sa different drive and fight in
me.
Now, if I'm going to, if I hadto lose everything that mattered
the most to me, then I'm goingto build a billion dollar firm.
Yep, that's just how I'm goingto do it.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Well and I I see the way you operate.
A lot of times it's for thegood and you receive good from
the people that you're trying tomentor, trying to elevate.
But there is times where you Isee it firsthand People take
advantage of kindness and Ireally believe the reason why
(30:05):
you are the person you are isbecause God placed you into this
world because of all thetrouble you've had to go through
.
You're there as a saving gracebecause ultimately, I know you
don't like being alone, sotherefore, the more you can
surround yourself around othersand if you can help elevate them
(30:28):
, you feel a sense of peacebecause you're doing God's work.
Through that and hopefully,most of the time you're going to
get that same same feeling backfrom others.
I try my best all the time.
You know the people in ourcompany right now, I would say,
are really good and it's, it'shard when you know I was on
(30:50):
Rich's thing and he was talkingabout how you know, how you vet
high network workers and allthat.
And it makes me think all thetime our process of bringing
people on, you have to be ableto bring down the mass and the
reason why we're having thistype of podcast is because me
and you both sat in yourbackyard smoking a cigar
(31:10):
together, brainstorming how wecan elevate to, yes, grow more
generational wealth for ourinvestors and future investors,
but, at the end of the day, tohave what you feel in your soul,
to be able to connect withothers because everyone goes
through stuff and no one isperfect but at the end of the
day, if you can share yourbattles between the others that
(31:34):
are around you, it makes youfeel better inside.
We have people in our companythat have lost children.
I've when I haven't lost whatyou know, when I first signed up
I was two strikes and a felonypretty much on trial, shitting
my pants.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
But telling someone the other day saying, look,
someone opened a door for me atthat time in my life, tell the
story when you called me, whenyou were going through.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
Yeah, I literally.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
Just, I don't even know if I hired you yet.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
No, you didn't.
So I think it was probably thesecond day of actually meeting
you.
I went in with the formeremployee of yours and I was
training him at the time and, umyou, I think you just needed
someone to shoot some contentand it was like a trial.
And I remember it was like thatsecond initiation of I went to
(32:28):
I forgot the real estate guy,but he was speaking in Riverside
Manny.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Soto, maybe Manny.
Yeah, maybe Manny.
It was like that Riversidemixer.
Right, that's right, yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
And I think at that moment the vibes were great.
Me and you were connecting andyou know I did good, even though
I look back at it now I'llprobably add it in here.
But I look back and I'm like,oh my gosh, my, my video of
holding the camera is waydifferent from what it is now,
but that's a part of elevatingin life and I remember it was
time for me, like you I thinkyou had brought up saying like,
(33:00):
hey, you know, let's you knowwhat's your schedule, what, what
can you do?
And it mind you, there's nointerview, by by the way.
It was kind of like hey, brocome.
And then, oh, are you free, canyou come shoot?
And so I did.
And then I remember I called mymom and I was talking to Hannah
and I was like I feel inside,like those butterflies that you
(33:22):
feel meeting someone you love.
It was that same feeling in anon-gay way.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
I don't know you talk gay to me a lot.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
Now it's gay for sure , but it was that same feeling
of like I feel like I need totell Ryan, regardless if I stay
with him for six months or fouryears, like I am now, I need to
tell Ryan what I'm going through.
So I had I was in the middle ofmy court trials and I had a
court date and it was forSeptember or something like that
and I called him and I was likeI just explained what was going
(33:57):
on, I got into a stupid fightand, um, I'm being charged with
this and I was like I don't knowwhat's going to happen, but I
just paid for an expensivelawyer and ultimately, I believe
I'm not going to be convicted.
But you never know.
And I just want to let you knowbecause if you need me on this
(34:17):
date, I cannot come because Ican't miss court.
And I remember you pretty muchjust said you're like honestly,
and you just paused, you're likeyou telling me that just showed
me everything.
And I believe that's what ittakes to not only make this
company a billion-dollar firm,but those are those actions that
(34:39):
you expect from the peopleinside this firm to be so masked
off and so vulnerable with ouremotions and our decision-making
so that way, our investors cantrust us.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
But this well-oiled machine that we're building can
keep going you know I'm younailed it as far as like how I
responded to that, because I Icontinue to do that when people
kind of bring down their maskand are just honest about that
type of stuff, where to me I'mlike, oh man, I guess put some
hair on your chest, kind ofthing.
You know because I went throughmy thing right obviously before
(35:15):
this, so I kind of know whatyou're going through mentally.
But it made me feel like yourespected this and you wanted
more of a relationship here forbusiness.
That, uh, you're just, you'rehumbled, that's the best way to
put it.
You're just, you're humbled,that's the best way to put it.
You're humbled, and I can seewhen someone's humbled.
It's just the way life is, youknow.
You get kicked in, you can seepeople if they're humble or not
(35:36):
and honestly, I appreciate it,because the sooner you just pull
your mask off, then you're justgoing to mold with the right
people with the same thing.
So you might as well just do itnow.
You know, but my philosophy hasshifted, obviously, over time.
As you know, having a companyand employees and what have you
and what I've it's that conceptis just kind of keep your mask
off from the beginning and seehow this goes, because people
(35:57):
don't like you.
They like you, doesn't matter,you know, if you might as well
just take it off and try to bereal and see if you can connect
with other people, because Iknow how deep I run and I know
how much meaning and what I'mwilling to sacrifice to people I
love.
You know, are those people thesame way?
And really the crazy thing isthat they are all the same way
in their personal lives, buttheir friends, their family,
(36:18):
their kids, their husband,spouses, what have you?
Along with their, theirextended family.
And if you look at everybodyindividually, they all have big
families.
Kids, grandkids, they'reactually like.
If you look at everybodyindividually, they all have big
families.
Kids, grandkids, they'reactually like.
If you look at each person,they're kind of like the, the,
the rocks of their family,including you.
I call you the 1% of yourfamily and you are and we don't
need to talk about it now butyou're definitely the 1% and and
(36:39):
uh, I think where I have goneand where I think why the
company is where it's at, isbecause I don't hide anything
from my employees.
I, you know, we are not astandard corporate structured
company.
We all have titles, but it'smore like everyone's hands on
help each other no matter what.
(37:00):
Get it done.
That's our mission.
We do it no matter what.
But I think what's allowed usto create that culture is that
we've hired those same peoplethat are all the same.
They're very relationship based.
They, you know when someonedoesn't like something about
them, that we take it reallyhard we don't like.
When people don't like us, youknow, or say something mean.
You know everyone's hearts arein it.
(37:21):
Everyone's been through a lotprior to coming over here.
They've all been burned by someother company or lost friends
or whatever.
We've all been burned by someother company or lost friends or
whatever.
We've all.
You know everyone's had taken alot of hits, you know.
And so I think what's happenedis I've been able to just kind
of over, be kind in some ways,but also try to show that I'm
stern and others kind of.
You know that there is kind ofhierarchy at some level here.
(37:44):
We got to stay professional.
But but you know, what I've,what I'm seeing is is that
everybody is really allowingthemselves to settle in and and
we don't have turnover in thecompany.
So it's been a while and andeveryone's done very well, and
that's where I can feel theheartbeat of the company's
getting stronger and strongerbecause everyone's jiving and
(38:06):
doing really well, and I thinkthat's what has has created the
momentum that we have at thecompany.
It's massed down all heart.
Everyone needs to help eachother.
We all have problems in ourpersonal lives.
We're here to support eachother, not judging Everyone's
friends with husbands and wivesand spouses, and it's the best
thing I've ever had.
So I think that's why I countmy blessings on what I've gone
(38:27):
through, because it's making methe man that I am today.
And I know I can be better, butmy, my life is X, y and Z, and
even though I've gone I'm goingthrough a lot now and have been
through a lot I still have a lotof hope.
So therefore, like mentioningand I'll sum it up with this,
you know, to be able to go intoa mindset of peace and knowing
(38:50):
my direction and just kind ofallowing the Lord to take the
reins in essence.
Hey, jesus, take those thiswheel, please.
You know that's, that's whatI'm doing, you know, and it's
been.
It's been the best feeling inthe world to settle and just
know that there's actually abigger plan than what I can try
to put in place.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
Yep, I would say, for where you're at.
How has being a dad right and Iand your past relationship you
you were a stepdad also right.
So your decision-making andsacrifices.
(39:27):
We can end this segment in away with how sacrifices in your
family touched on it earlier,but I want others to understand
how deep rooted some sacrificesare.
You know, like you said, yousacrifice and your purpose was
to build everything for yourfamily, and now you have a
(39:49):
purpose still.
But there's certain sacrificesin life being away from your
kids, decision-making in thecompany, being able to budget
certain things like we're notflying first class.
You know those type of things.
How do you mitigate that inyour head, no matter if we're a
billion dollar firm or you'reback in 08 budget?
Speaker 1 (40:12):
I think I I really struggled with this because one
of the things that I probablyregret the most, but I knew I I
don't regret the decisions I'vehad to make.
What I regret is notexperiencing it or being there
like I should have been with,like Shane, in baseball Now, I
coached his baseball team whenhe was four or five, six, seven,
eight, you know.
But when things got older youkind of need it starts to get
(40:32):
real.
So really, once he turned about11, 12, 13, I was old, gone a
lot, but that was also apandemic hit, you know.
So I was kind of in scramblemode.
We moved our headquarters tonashville.
I was very distant.
Um, that was another fear, youknow, based decision, I think,
by far calculated, but it was my, my uh decision to act quickly
(40:57):
that kept us alive ultimately.
And so, moving to nashville, Iknew I had to do it, you know.
So it was calculated, but again, that fear that runs through my
DNA was going to get me to beproactive.
So I would say that was thenumber one starting piece of the
sacrifice of what I've had todo with my family, because when
(41:17):
we moved to our headquarters inNashville the idea was to move
the whole family to Nashvilleand that didn't happen.
So now we're in two separatehomes and that was kind of the
beginning of the level ofsacrifice I really now had to
start feel, because thenormalness of going home, the
same bed, you know, having mykids eating dinners, lunch,
breakfast, I mean just like yourstandard daily routine, is now
(41:39):
completely changed.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Now I'm by myself, without my kids and a place I've
never lived in before in anarea I don't know you know so
and trying to build the business.
And, mind you, for those thatare new to following Ryan and
understanding, watching itfirsthand, it was.
It was honestly painful insidebecause, honestly, it was
honestly painful inside because,honestly, I had no say other
than like, yeah, I could be thatvoice of reason for you, or
(42:08):
that ear to listen, butultimately, anything you did was
at risk of losing your familyor separating from them fully
Because, again, as a businessowner, you're making decisions
and if you're in the privateequity world, you're so pregnant
in Havasu, you got a newapartment in Nashville, so you
(42:32):
made these decisions that youcan't just pull back on.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
Well, it's even deeper than that.
I have investors that arerelying on me to make decisions,
and what am I supposed to do?
I mean, I think biblically andeverybody would say choose your
family over that.
But the ones that have investedwith me a lot of money, they're
not going to want to hear mesay that, especially when it's
your IRAs or 401ks, and this isall you got.
Speaker 2 (42:57):
Yeah, they worked their whole lives for it.
Speaker 1 (42:59):
So yeah, and mind you , as we talked about these, some
of these people have had cancer, my loved people I've talked
about this a million times whereI had one of an investor's
daughter died on the operatingtable at the age of nine from a
third open heart surgery, andher, the parents, which was our
main investors, and then youknow the um, the grandparents
all basically sold everythingthey had and liquidated
(43:21):
everything they had to keep thedaughter alive and when she
passed away, the life insurancepayout was all the money they
received and then they made theinvestment with that life
insurance payout.
I didn't know this until a yearlater.
So when I talk about aconnection to your family, I can
sit around and go oh, poor me.
Or do you know what people havehad to sacrifice to make the
money that they saved to nowtrust me to invest?
You don't?
(43:42):
You just have to figure outwhat's the best thing to do
overall and when I I ultimatelyhad to this, this really hard
decision to make, because I alsodidn't get the support, because
it was supposed to everyone'ssupposed to go to to nashville
and then nobody did right, so Iwas kind of left hanging there
and therefore all of the stuff.
(44:03):
I had to keep going, no matterwhat was going on.
I had to keep, you know,putting foot on the table for
everybody.
I had to keep trying tonavigate the waters of the
pandemic.
I had to move into a place,right the whole thing, and so it
was very difficult, but I hadto figure out a way to dig down
and fight, even knowing that,you know, my purpose again is
being lost.
So that feeling of losing yourpurpose, for I've I've had just
(44:24):
probably too many feelings ofthat too many times in my life,
of feeling that broken, broken,and I'm only, as you know, we
only got, we're only 50 minutesin.
I can, we, I have way morestories, right.
So you know, it's just.
You know, now I'm at a pointwhere my purpose I'm seeing is
like the people that I love thatare around me.
(44:44):
That's why, you know, we jokeand say everyone calls me daddy
at the company, but I act like adad because I care about
everybody, so damn much Am Icalling him.
Well, how, what's going on?
Today I saw that you're off.
I can tell you're a littlesensitive about something.
What can I do?
I'm like, literally that guythat just stays connected to
everybody, yep.
So that again, that's what'skeeping the bond.
But what?
But again, everyone has what.
(45:05):
What happened is and this iswhere I saw the shift when I
have been strong for so many,for so long everyone's had their
lives, and even though I wasreally good at putting on the
mask and my team didn't see whatI went through and that we
still had a mission toaccomplish, um, that I was still
breaking.
And when I finally broke, Ithink what I've done is I was
(45:29):
able to earn the love andrespect from my team and they
were like, okay, it's time toshow up for him, when he's been
showing up for us, exactly.
And and that was that was alife and this was recent.
So that's where I startedreally seeing the difference in
this company and the shift in it.
And then, obviously, jp Morganand all these things are
starting to come alive thatwe've been working really hard
towards.
And again it's now it's like,well, okay, well, hold on, let's
(45:50):
feel this energy, let's stayhooked to it.
And now I'm addicted to thatfeeling of where we can grow.
So, again, if my purpose isshifted, that's fine, but fall
in love with that new purposeand keep going.
So, to answer your question moredirectly, the probably the
hardest part is my kids, youknow, because, regardless of
(46:11):
what happens between me and anywoman, my kids are forever and I
think the best thing that Ihave done and I know a lot of
people won't agree with this,but I'm just being honest with I
know too much the same.
I've been talking about how youknow, uh, an institution.
I tracked a 900 million dollarpurchase for porn hub.
I know who's who bought pornhub and has four federal
(46:33):
indictments and it just I knowthat, that.
I know I know too much aboutmoney and how things move and
work and so it really is theroot to all evil, right, and so
when I know how the world works,I, I literally fear for my kids
.
We just talked about that inlunch in the car.
Yep, it's almost like I notonly do we fear bringing a child
(46:54):
into this world, but it'salmost like not right to now we
know we can go into, like weneed kids and all that stuff.
It's almost not right.
This world is getting so badthat the only purity they have
is when they're young.
After they get older, man,they're getting I mean, they're
going to get their asses kicked.
Now I want then.
So I think what I've done rightis that I have shown my kids
(47:15):
that there is this hey, dad'sgoing to sacrifice but he's
going to do something great.
And then when, when you'rethere, it's quality time and
then but I can get you where youwant to go your dreams I will
actually get to come true.
I have the resources, I havethe ability, I also have the
skill set and the relationshipsand the network you know, and
we're in the right locations,we're in the right industries
(47:36):
within the world and the way theworld sees us.
We I have positioned ourselves.
This is chess, not checkers,and even though I'm very in
tuned with my spiritual side,render to Caesar, which is
Caesar's man.
This is the way this world goes.
So it's really my opinion aboutjust continuing to work really
hard, build something that'svaluable, that helps a lot of
(47:56):
people and therefore the moneywill follow income wise.
But the biggest shifting point,I think, for me was again going
back to that purpose, and Ithink the company has purpose.
We have a mission, we're seeinglives change and that's what's
making everybody believe evenmore.
You know, and I tell people allthe time I actually know I
haven't told I've told oneperson just recently, but I've
(48:19):
wanted to tell more people isthat the one thing I'm actually
proud of, joe, is that I amfinally seeing how many people I
help.
I believe in my ability toguide, I believe that I can add
value to people's lives becauseif they just follow it, they'll
do fine, or whatever thesituation is, and I haven't been
(48:41):
wrong.
And so I think like that is abig shift in my mind too,
because I don't think a lot ofpeople really believe in
themselves deep down.
But if you could start lookingat it from the perspective of
like, yeah, I actually reallyhelp people and they're telling
me it's not like I'm just makingit up and I think I'm being
arrogant, but when they tell youyou've helped me so much,
(49:02):
there's probably no betterreward than that.
And I was just telling Ashleythe other day.
I said you know, there'snothing, there's no better gift
in this world than someonebelieving in you.
That's the best gift you cangive anybody to say I believe in
you and then and then doeverything they can to help you.
Um, and that's what I thinkeveryone's starting to feel from
(49:25):
me.
But again, I couldn't get tothis mindset without being
broken now, before three, fourtimes prior to that, um I?
That's why I really enjoy beinghumbled.
I know it sounds weird, butjust to be able to sit back and
force yourself to breathe, drownout the noise a little bit.
(49:47):
Sit back recalibrate, thinkabout what's going on, be
proactive, stay focused.
Do not be angry, right, justcontrol your mind, and I will
say that's something I know howto do.
You know I've done very wellthere.
I think controlling my mind hasbeen a real hard thing to do,
but I think that's one thing Ican do.
Speaker 2 (50:08):
Yeah, I think for a lot of people hearing that come
from you, it will build and gainmore trust, because this is a
relationship business.
Speaker 1 (50:18):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (50:19):
Regardless of what anyone thinks, I don't care what
family office or what checkwriter is who?
If you're not showing your maskdown, they're not going to
write that check.
And I believe this type ofsegment is what me and you both
have been wanting to share andopen up to others, to gain that
trust in those individuals,because a lot of times people
(50:43):
fail to realize where they comefrom and, like you said, they
need to be humble at times andsometimes I forget and I need to
be re humbled by you did thislast week.
You know that was hard and it'shard for me.
Yeah, you know it's really hard.
Having hard conversations isnot easy, but it's it's
(51:05):
necessary.
Speaker 1 (51:05):
It's hard for me it's really hard.
Having hard conversations isnot easy, but it's necessary.
It takes maturity to just openup.
They say gay marriage isbetween a man and a man.
It's like 75%.
They don't write, I think.
Heterosexually it's like 50-50,divorce rate and then married
women is like a 75% divorce rate.
It's something like that wheremarried men actually can last
longer in marriages.
(51:26):
That's why we do so well in ourfriendship.
Speaker 2 (51:28):
I see it.
I see it, we might as well justgo get married.
So that way we might as wellman for you to enter some
benefits tax benefits, maybe Idon't know something about Chuck
and Chuck and Larry, whateverthat maybe is but yeah, I think
I think we covered a lot ofground and for those that are
listening they probably willreally appreciate it.
There's a lot of people thatlove hearing us joke around on
(51:51):
social media.
Speaker 1 (51:53):
I I think that gains more attractive attraction than
anything make fun of each other,but uh, it allows people to
connect and feel more emotionhere's the takeaway I think from
today is the fact that I havehad to get tired of trying to
keep that mask on.
I've been beat down, I'mexhausted and I am humbled
(52:17):
enough to say I just don't havethe energy to keep fighting for
the world to see me a specificway.
Now you still do things foralgorithms and Instagram, but
when people get to know me, Ithink it's important they know
that this is the raw.
I would want to encouragepeople that are listening to
this to stay there.
I haven't talked on this podcast, but I reconnected with my
(52:39):
mother in 2017.
So I talked about earlier howmy father raised me so that'll
be another segment and how Ichanged my life and how hard
that was to forgive and show mykids the forgiveness that was
necessary and that was veryhumbling for me, but now totally
worth it because I have a greatrelationship with my mom and,
(53:10):
in fact, was the purpose and thedesign and the founding kind of
idea was building the barncaves, and the design, the idea
behind the barn caves wasbecause of my connection and
reconnection to my mother, sowe'll talk about that in the
next one.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (53:17):
That's why we made a documentary.
Mind you, my first one.
Go go hit the link to go watchthat, for sure.
But that is a.
There's so many.
We can go on so many, so manydifferent stories and rabbit
holes of your life.
Because it will relate to otherpeople.
Speaker 1 (53:33):
Yeah, for sure so, again, takeaway is mask down, be
humble, try to pick, pick andchoose wisely who to invest your
love and time into.
That's probably the hardestthing.
But, you know, continue to givebecause one day you will
receive.
It's okay to love, it's okay totry, it's just can't stop
trying.
But just harden up in a waywhere, like, if the relationship
(53:54):
doesn't work out whether it'sfriends, whatever business
relationship just walk away inpeace, be peaceful.
It does not.
Life is already tough enough.
I would say.
That's one and then two you know, using you know some of my
hardships as maybe a connectionpoint for people to know what
it's like to have.
You know, feel like they don'thave a purpose and that you,
your purpose, purpose can shift.
(54:15):
And sometimes, when you'resmarter, older and have been
through enough, you, you have adeeper connection now to that
purpose.
You feel it, you want it.
Older and have been throughenough, you have a deeper
connection now to that purpose.
You feel it, you want it, yourdedication to it, your
discipline, your, you knowchanges when you feel and you're
connected to your purpose.
So that would be the takeawayfor today.
So we'll leave some of theother stuff for later, but I
(54:35):
really appreciate you draggingthis out of me because I didn't
think this is where I had anidea.
And you kind of have that smirkbefore you get on and you kind
of dance funny and I know yougot something on your mind, but
uh, no, I really appreciate thethis.
Speaker 2 (54:47):
This was, this was, this was great yes, uh, well,
let's so wrap it up with just uhending and then, um, maybe do
like just call to action.
If you guys want to learn more,make sure to check out the
other podcast.
Speaker 1 (55:01):
All right, so all right.
So I'm going to say thanks, joe.
Okay, guys, so I reallyappreciate it, joe, thank you
very much for for for being here, buddy, as always, and thanks
for dragging it out of me.
That that was cool.
I really appreciate it.
Love you, buddy.
All right, everybody, go ahead.
The rest of my story, but thepodcast series as well.
(55:21):
We're talking a lot more aboutbusiness and every once in a
while I'll kind of get morepersonal.
I'm hoping I can connect to you.
If anybody felt that this wasfruitful, please just comment.
I'd love to get your insight onit.
If you had anything that wassimilar to what I've gone
through, share it.
I know sometimes talking aboutit makes things a little bit
easier, but know that you knowsomebody who's shared those
feelings and
All right guys, welcome back.
Thank you for joining us today.
I have a special guest, as Ialways like to say, but this
guy's even more special becausehe is my best friend, my
videographer and my partner incrime, and he's going to ask me
a handful of questions todaywhich are going to be really
close, near dear in my heart,and I'm going to share a little
bit about myself to you guystoday, and this was something
that Joe has been begging me todo for months and months, if not
(00:24):
years and years.
So we're going to chip away atsome podcasts about certain
situations and circumstancesI've been in over my life, and I
really hope that the idea is toencourage others to keep going
when things are hard.
I'm still growing.
I'm only 40 years old, so Iknow I have a whole nother life
in front of me, but at a youngage I like to consider myself
(00:44):
young at 40.
I have been through a lot andI'm just going to share a couple
of situations with you and kindof the takeaway for that.
So, joe, thank you for joiningtoday and I am actually looking
forward to your questions,because I really don't know that
much about which directionyou're going to go, so you're
going to keep me humble and onmy toes, so I really appreciate
you being here, buddy.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Yes, thank you, and it my toes, so I really
appreciate you being here, buddy.
Yes, thank you, and it's alwaysnice to not necessarily be
behind the camera.
Um, and like ryan said, I, Ithink my role in this company
and with paradigm and a part ofryan's life is honestly
something that weighs a lot ofstress that most people do not
understand and with that stress,I I'm able to articulate Ryan's
emotions and understand theinner depths of, not only as a
business development aspect, buton a personal level, to
(01:33):
understand where our founder andchairman actually is throughout
the day.
Because, if you guys can onlyimagine, this guy's phone is on
work mode, or do not disturb fora reason because his phone is
on work mode, or do not disturbfor a reason because his phone
never ends.
And I've said this before in apodcast where, when Ryan calls
me, you have to answer If youwant to level up, you want to
(01:55):
succeed, work your way up tothis company at the top.
And the reason being is becausethis guy's mind never stops
running, and I just shared withhim the other day that, like in
three days I slept four hours,probably because now my mind is
like it and I'm becoming moreand more like him and I'm 10
years behind.
So, with that being said, likehe said, I want to make sure the
(02:19):
audience on the podcast is ableto understand a deeper dive
into the mind of Ryan Garland,because a lot of people just see
the fluff.
They look at the cars, theylook at the development, they
look at when Ryan's going here,going there, but they don't
really understand where all thishas actually transpired from.
(02:40):
And so what?
I kind of want to start withsome people, especially if
you're an investor or a closefriend of Ryan's, you do know
this story.
But, as we all know, 08, 09,the market crash.
A lot of people went throughhard times, but within that time
, ryan also was in an accidentand one of his best friends was
(03:03):
dying in his arms.
So I really for me hearing thatstory over and over again.
It makes me understand Ryanmore, and I'd like Ryan to
really share this as a part ofwhy he's came across so many
obstacles and made him the manhe is today.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Oh, thank you, man.
All right, so let's start off.
Where do you want to?
Speaker 2 (03:21):
go.
Let's start off.
Where do you want to go?
So explain what you werefeeling in that moment when the
accident happened and then tieinto that moment years later to
now.
How does that affect yourdecision making?
Speaker 1 (03:38):
you know.
So it's really kind of ironic.
You want to bring that up firstbecause you're my best friend
and uh so at that time, my bestfriend it was really the, I mean
it was I think I was justthinking about this the other
day.
I haven't had the opportunityto sit back and really think
about it, because my life hasbeen going 100 miles an hour
(04:00):
since then and it kind of neverhas stopped.
And I think, ironicallyironically you bring this up
because the other day I actuallythought about it and I had more
memory of that night, uh, thanI think I ever had since the 08,
you know um, I feel like I kindof blocked a lot of that
emotion out because it was justso painful and and what's wild
(04:23):
is that when I was rememberingmore about it, I, um, it, I felt
more connected to, uh, my lovedones at that moment and I think
I think it just kind of made mehumble and it made me realize
and be kind of count myblessings more than anything,
cause I'm always focused on workand moving forward.
I never look in the rear viewmirror, I'm always moving
(04:44):
forward.
I'm going a hundred miles anhour.
What's going on next day, youknow, trying to chase the time
to get to bed and take, you knowjust the whole thing that goes
with life, but when that?
So, ultimately, what happened?
And I'll give a whole story herebut, uh, there was a car
accident that took place and Iwatched my buddy behind me wrap
a car around a pole and uh, andactually two of my closest
friends were in that car and uh,chris, one of my friends, that
(05:07):
was the driver, he, uh, he wasokay because the car wrapped
around a pole on the passengerside and it was on an embankment
.
So what happened was, is the,the front headlights were pretty
much pointing in the air.
Mind you, this is at 12 o'clockat night, not a lot of people
around, and uh, and so when I,when, uh kind of turn, I had to
(05:27):
turn around and go around amedium and come back around, uh
kind of do a big U-turn.
And when I was able to getthere, uh, ironically will,
which was the passenger that wasthe most hurt.
Uh, I went to paramount or, uh,uh, emt school.
We did a bullet program together, uh, up in San Jose and um,
what was happening was, as Icame down the embankment, I
(05:48):
opened up the driver's door.
I could see Chris is okay, buthe was kind of parked back, so
he had a GTI at the time.
And what GTIs do when you getin an accident with the front
end, your actual seats drop downand they slide back because
they had problems a long timeago from the motors falling on
your legs.
So what they do is theyengineered the seats to drop
(06:11):
back and fall and slidebackwards.
So it's very impressive and I'mglad it did, because that front
of that actually did shift,even though it hit sideways.
This is crazy how violent thisaccident ultimately was.
So when I was I, when I was ableto open up the driver's side
door clearly these thingswrapped around a pole I came
around the kind of in theembankment I was.
I opened up the driver's sidedoor clearly, these things
wrapped around a pole.
I came around kind of in theembankment, I opened up the
driver's side door and so kindof picture a car where it's
maybe 10 feet above me and I'mkind of having to open up the
(06:34):
door above my head and then sowhen I open up the door, it
swings open kind of on thebottom because the car is kind
of on its side right.
It's probably on like a 45degree side, wow, and so I could
see that Chris is on the wayI'm eye to eye with Chris.
And then Will was leaning overhis seatbelt and I'm talking to
Will, I'm trying to get hisattention, see if he's going to
(06:56):
respond.
Chris was responding, but verylightly and when I was looking I
started to look at Will and Icould see his neck is starting
to get thicker and thicker andthicker.
He's having a hard timebreathing and now it's becoming
more vocal that he's having ahard time breathing but he's not
conscious, he's just moaning.
Really bad, he's in a lot ofpain.
And so I started looking around.
I see his leg is completelysideways and around.
I mean it's just bad.
(07:16):
So I ended up I told him to gograb my knife so I can cut the
seatbelt, because Will wasleaning over the seatbelt and
couldn't breathe Because, again,he's in the passenger side so
he's leaning over the driverultimately.
So when I cut the seatbelt Iended up grabbing his waist and
(07:38):
his chest to kind of turn him.
So now his back is ultimatelyagainst the armrest in the
center so he can kind of expandhis lungs and breathe, because I
can tell he's got he's now.
I can hear him gargle, sotherefore he's got now liquid
going on down in there.
So when I was able to turn himsideways, he started breathing a
little bit better and by thattime I can hear fire engines and
(08:00):
paramedics getting there.
And after that I kind of wentblank, because once they rushed
that car, I'm kind of out of it,right, yep.
So, you know, 10, 15 minuteslater go by Now, mind you Will
just graduated from theRiverside County Sheriff's
Department.
So we were going out to havesome fun and spend some time
together and kind ofcongratulate him.
This was on May 31st of 2008.
(08:21):
And I was going to have myoldest son now that his.
He was born in July 25th, soonly like two months later.
So we were all kind ofcelebrating kind of life, you
know, we haven't seen each otherin a long time.
All four of us are gettingtogether, kind of thing.
So fast forward I'm.
I'm giving my statement to thepolice officer uh, one of the
police officers to kind of tellhim what transpired and what I
(08:42):
tried to do, or what have you.
One of the other paramedicswhich, ironically, I went to
high school with.
His name was Brian.
He comes up to me and goes hey,go tell the passengers family
to come say their goodbyes,because, um, he only has maybe a
couple more hours to live.
Now, mind you, his family wasin the high desert, so that's at
least an hour and a half away.
Even back then, and so I don'tknow, I didn't have any idea how
(09:03):
to get ahold of his family.
I didn't.
We couldn't find his phone.
It's just, you know, this swampwith people around the car,
yeah and and.
But he did have a house, heowned his own house and he had
two roommates, and so all I canthink of is maybe get there.
Hopefully the roommates arethere and they can help me try
to get ahold of his family.
So I'm on, I'm on my way, checkthis out.
(09:23):
So I'm on my way up in this.
Mind you, this is in Riverside.
I'm going up, alessandro.
There's a, there's a medium andthere's a medium on this street
and there's three lanes on eachside of the street.
It's a very wide street.
I've driven this thing at leasta thousand times and as I'm
speeding cause, clearly I'mtrying to go get ahold of his
family and I'm nervous and Idon't know what to say.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
My best friends yeah, adrenaline's high.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
I end up, I end up, uh, I'm coming up to the very
top of the, uh, very top ofAlessandro and it's this really
slight right hand bend.
It's not very sharp.
I mean you could do a hundredplus and you could still make
the turn.
And that's what I was doing ahundred plus.
And I go to make the turn andat the very top of that hill is
the communication center forRiverside PD for dispatch.
(10:06):
I, since my father is a retiredLA County sheriff and I grew up
with my father, I know exactlyhow their schedules work.
So I could have been, I couldhave sold my soul knowing that
light was going to be green atthat time of night.
And sure enough, that light wasred and a police officer pulled
out in front of me.
Now it's obviously they had theright away.
I'm speeding up the hill, thelight's red, I'm going too fast
(10:27):
to even do anything about it.
The police officer didn't evennotice I was coming, takes the
green light red for me, turnsleft in front of me and I hit
the back end of the car.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Yeah, felony injury.
They wrote me for felony hitand run.
They were trying to get me onthree strikes and, uh, and you
know, when you hit a policeofficer, they're going to get
you forever.
They just don't, they're goingto light you up, you know.
Um, so, mind you, I alreadyknow my father's a police
officer.
So, um, so, at that moment, uh,they ended up, you know,
(11:01):
arresting me and they take medown to riverside county
hospital and uh, and to getchecked, and what have you, and,
sure enough, chris comesrolling in.
And, mind you, on my way downto riverside county hospital, I
had to drive back by the sceneof the accident, my, the second,
the first scene of the accident, not my accident, the first
thing and how long was the timebetween all this?
(11:22):
uh, from the time of the firstaccident to the second accident,
I would say it's probably 30minutes, 40 minutes maybe.
So when all that had happenedwith Will, I mean, it's hard to
even remember.
I know the steps, because Iknow how I have had to get back
to where I was, but I don'tremember how, like I don't
(11:45):
really remember the motion.
It's almost like I'm kind of oncloud nine.
I'm just seeing light inessence of like how the night
went.
It's hard to feel the emotionof it Because I was so scared
the whole time.
Well, the reason why I wasspeeding is not only to go tell
his family, but I was lookingdown at my phone.
This is like when Bluetoothactually was a thing.
Back then it started gettingbig.
I was able to Bluetooth my carand, and I was making, trying to
make phone calls, looking downat like different numbers to try
(12:06):
to call while I'm going to hishouse.
That's one of the reasons why Imissed, kind of all this stuff
that was going on.
So, anyways, they, uh, theytake me down to Riverside
community.
Um, chris comes by, mind you, hewas the driver, he was okay.
So he comes rolling by, buthe's out at the time.
Uh, and then here comes Will.
They got him out and he's alive.
Now, mind you, I didn't get togo tell his family to say their
goodbyes.
So the whole time now goingback by the scene of the
(12:28):
accident and going, all I canthink about is he's dead, he's
dead, he's dead, he's dead.
So, again, I wasn't worriedabout Chris, but I knew Will was
bad.
Well, will comes wheeling in.
About 45 minutes later, after Igot to the hospital, they got
him out of the car and he wasalive and I, uh, and so thank
(12:52):
goodness for that, right, um,but what had happened was is
when I the the officer that Ihit, which is what really helped
me.
The officer that I hit was afemale officer.
That was a, was one of myreally good buddies, got married
in September the year before.
Really good buddies got marriedin september the year before
and I was one of the groomsmenin his wedding and the, his
wife's sister.
I walked down the aisle, whichwas the female officer that I
(13:12):
hit, and I had no idea what acoincidence, right.
So she writes a letter to the daand everything, and basically I
, I was able to walk away fromand if and if, I recall you had
gotten a celebrity attorney.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Yeah, I went and got Lindsay Lohan's attorney to try,
so you were prepared, though,knowing there was something
worse going to happen.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Yeah now, mind you, I mean, this is an OA, I have no
money, I'm losing everything.
The only money I had left wasgo get this attorney.
I'm trying to be able to bethere to watch my son be born
and, mind you, that was only twomonths later and it was so.
It was just.
You know, they say there's nosuch thing as an atheist in a
foxhole.
(13:51):
You know, that night wasdefinitely kind of an eyeopening
biblical movement for me.
That really kind of changed mylife for sure, which is why,
kind of starting in thebeginning of this, it was hard
for me to really I startedrecently feeling that emotion
because I'm trying to connectthe dots as to my why.
You know, I'm at that age nowwhere I'm like, how did I get to
where I'm at?
(14:11):
Why, what could I have donebetter?
And we always do that.
But I'm just like reallyanalyzing that nowadays, you
know, and I'm really analyzingthe people that I have around me
.
So that was a really, uh, lifechanging experience, as you can
imagine uh, life-changingexperience, as you can imagine
so with that you, it was 2008,so how old were you then you're?
so in 08 I was, no, no, so in 08I was.
(14:32):
So I had shane when I was 24,so I was 20, 24 24.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Where were you at in your business?
Speaker 1 (14:37):
but the market crashed and I literally was
losing absolutely everything.
So, my mortgage company I had alot of very close friends with
me at the time.
Back then, man, you could justhire all your friends at a call
center.
You know you're doing prettygood, but, um, I, I was, I
literally lost everything atthat time.
Uh, it's cause it reallystarted in oh seven and that's
when, uh, uh, shantae gotpregnant my wife at the time and
then, um, yeah, so she, she gotpregnant, I think in November,
(15:00):
and we had him in July,something of that nature.
So I was already losingeverything in November.
So now I'm going through thispregnancy trying to figure out a
way I'm going to put food onthe table.
And my father raised me and mymom left when I was six months
old.
You know, my father's my bestfriend, as you know, besides you
, and and uh, and so you know,being raised by a single father
for so long and the my dad putoff all kinds of things in his
(15:21):
life remarrying to, you know,elevating in the sheriff's
department because he had to bethere for me and raise me and he
had no help, you know, and hedidn't have a lot of money for
babysitting and where we livedat the time it wasn't really a
place to find a babysitter.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Well, he was telling me yesterday that the one time
he scheduled to try and take thesergeant's exam, you and Tiff
would not leave him alone.
And he's like, I asked for onetime and it was my one
opportunity and I couldn't evenbe left alone to study for this.
So, no, I gave up everythingand I was like Joe, you look at
(15:56):
your son now.
But I want to go back into thatsame era and talk about so I, I
hear you, you know let's fastforward maybe three to four
years from there.
So this life-changing moment,you know we talk about where
shane's going and all that.
But I I want to bring in theaspect because I love hearing
(16:19):
the story and I'm sure a lot ofpeople would love to hear this
too where you're in your dad'sgarage and, as you can see, I
got dad gang on.
I'm a proud dad of three.
Um, I love hearing that youwere working in the garage and
Shane is on his power wheels ohyeah so let's talk about that
and talk about how you.
(16:41):
You know you have all this now,but it never came easy for you.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
No.
So when all of that was goingdown at that time in 08, just
financially, and then obviouslythat accident really shifted my
entire life, I couldn't affordit really a roof over my head.
So we actually moved in with myfather in Riverside.
Now, mind you, he was doing anaddition on his own without bank
finance, so he was trying toadd on to both sides of the
(17:06):
house.
So my wife and I and the babyare literally living in a house
that either didn't have airconditioning or, a lot of the
time, didn't have heater.
We had floor heaters because wedidn't have the actual HVAC
system installed.
So he can only make so muchmoney as a police officer and do
an overtime and then he wouldwork on the weekends or whatever
to do the addition.
(17:26):
And then he had guys there too,but it was.
It took like two years basicallyfor him to do the addition.
It would he my dad's the guythat he'll start something and
really never finishes that room,you know.
So it's one of those, butanyway.
So we're sleeping kind of onthe floor.
We got windows in, so we haveto put every single night, we
have to put one of those sheetsup, you know, and our mattress
(17:47):
is on the floor.
So we basically that's how we,you know kind of rode that wave.
And then my father and my wifeat the time did not like each
other no-transcript and so I waslike, okay, give me, give me a
(18:35):
little bit to figure this out.
This is when hard money kind ofreally came out of it for me.
So I just ironically had goodrelationships from the lending
space, cause we did a lot ofvolume in 08.
And I just ironically had goodrelationships from the lending
space because we did a lot ofvolume in 08.
And I just started reaching outto everybody and there was a
couple of guys that I rubbedelbows with in Orange County
that had a big fund at one pointand did private money.
And a quick story is that theguy sold I want to say it was
(18:59):
called Seacrest Industries.
It was a big.
They didri systems andtechnology and software for
basically every radiologydepartment around the world in
some cases.
And so, uh, he ended up sellingthat company for some
ridiculous amount 690 milliondollars.
So, uh, and then he ended upbuying it back.
It tanked in 08, right, so he,that way, he sold it before 08
anyways, uh, he ends up usinghis son was the was lending his
(19:22):
money out in hard money.
That's ultimately so, dad, richdad, saying here, son, I'm
giving you a business to run,lend my money out in hard money.
In essence, take properties ifyou need to, right, just hard
money loans.
That's where you make yourmoney, right.
So I really learned the gamefrom that world family office
guys that were verysophisticated, they were sharks,
but they were very smart, um,and very educated.
(19:43):
I mean Orange County guys thatjust knew how to make money.
And so, anyway, so I reach outto one of my guys and I call him
, and at the time I had bought aChrysler 300.
That's all I could afford,right, and this thing, it barely
ran.
Man, it was just, you know, andI, I, he, the, his name was Dan
my, it was my old mentor.
(20:03):
He says, hey, if you can comeinto my office, um, come into my
office sometime next week andlet's talk, right.
And so we set the time as, like, a Thursday, and I didn't have,
I did.
I had to borrow $20 from myfather to get gas money.
Bro, okay, it was just soembarrassing and demasculating,
you know.
So I, he's like, yeah, noproblem.
(20:25):
So he gives me 20 bucks, Iliterally put a hundred percent
of that 20 bucks.
I'm eating lunch sandwiches onthe way to work, cause it's I
had to make it at home.
I didn't have any money forlunch, so I ended up getting
there and we work a deal and hesays hey, look, you know, you
have what it takes to be great,and I've I've had big companies.
I'm going to stay real smallmoving forward through this wave
.
I need one guy that I can relyon to do exactly what I tell him
(20:47):
to do and let me mentor him.
But if you don't, the minuteyou don't, you're out.
This guy was at a point in hislife where he's like I don't
really want to mentor any morepeople anymore.
Like you know, if you want tolearn the game, you're going to
do everything I say Otherwise.
Everything I say Otherwise, I'mjust not going to.
I don't have the energy for you.
And he said it pretty much justlike that.
But I walked into his officeand from my understanding, he
(21:08):
was one of the guys that fundedthe first hundred million
dollars for, I believe, theIrvine Spectrum.
So he was knee deep in theworld out there.
So I follow his lead, I gounder his wing and that's when
we really started building ourreputation and hard money.
Well, at that time wing, andthat's when we really started
building our reputation and hardmoney.
Well, at that time, to go backabout living at my father's
house, I started making enoughmoney to go, within a few months
(21:30):
, go back to my father and say,hey, I have an exit strategy.
In essence, I can get a housein Marietta, we'll move to
Marietta and we'll.
So we, we ended up moving toMarietta at that point.
That's when I and now, if youthink about it now, I'm having
to focus on putting food on thetable after we just lost
everything.
So now the fight every singlemonth is real Cause we let, we
still lived paycheck to paycheckfor many months, many, many
(21:51):
months, and uh, and that, andall I can do was focus on
building more and more.
And as I continued to build andI was making more and more money
, as more and more money wentinto my account, the more secure
I felt and then the more I knewmy wife could have money.
So I got all the way down towhere I was taking showers at
the gym instead of at home, allthe way down to.
(22:12):
I would work more in the officefor air conditioning instead of
running the air conditioning atthe house.
It was cheaper to run the airconditioning at the office that
the house, that kind of thing.
So I I was forcing myself, dueto financial hardship, to sit in
the office just so I can staycool during the summer.
But when I'm by myself at 10o'clock at night, not tired yet,
I had to figure out how tocontinue to grow my business
(22:33):
because it's all I had to do andit was really kind of out of
fear.
So that factor has rolled intomy DNA all the way down to my
insomnia that I was telling youabout.
I've had for 15 years, I still.
I think last night I had apiece, but you know, I finally
kind of figured out a rhythm,but I, for the longest time I go
to bed at, you know, 10, 10, 30, and I'd be up by 12, 12, 30,
(22:56):
could not sleep until 4, 4, 30.
So you do, you know, and you'restill only getting four hours
of sleep, three hours of sleep.
You know, you, you, it's hard,it's hard to get through two or
three days of that.
So imagine if it was everysingle day, you know, and then
back problems and all the otherissues, and then having to take
your kids to school, and raisinga family and try to grow your
business and that that it was.
It's been.
It's been a hell of a fight toget to where we are now.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Yeah, so with um, you've had a lot of breaking
points and I guess you know Iwant to talk on how, when you
hit your emotional and physicalbreaking point, what are things
that you do?
Because I've seen you and Iknow it's hard for you to also
(23:44):
open up and to be real with howyou feel, because ultimately you
know I hate to say it, butultimately it is what it is
You've now gone through anotherdivorce, right?
So, regardless with who'saround you, I'm sure inside you
feel that you don't have no oneto talk to or you don't want
anyone to look down on you andor your position at Paradigm
(24:07):
paradigm, you have to be thestrong leader.
So what are some things thatyou you do to cope with them?
And or how, how, for those thatare listening, what are, what
are some tips and tricks thatyou can give for people when
they hit those breaking points?
Speaker 1 (24:24):
move forward um, I think one thing that helps is
kind of my faith.
I.
I just know that everythinghappens for a reason and you
know that, saying two ears, onemouth, like I, I really do
accept hardship and pain.
You've seen me under pressure alot and I somehow some way
won't stop going.
(24:45):
Um, so I'll give you theemotion I have when you just
brought brought up my, you know,unfortunate divorce here, when
I, I, my purpose for the last 11years was for my family, right,
so, like rebuilding, goingthrough my first divorce,
unfortunately, and I've had tokind of rebuild then, um that
(25:08):
when you have so, you get to apoint where the only way to keep
going you can't really do itfor yourself.
You really don't.
There's got to be a deeper rootto fight this world, for you to
keep going, whether it's yourkids, your spouse, for love,
whatever the case may be, and Ithink what I've, what I'm
currently going through, is mypurpose.
(25:29):
To build this company wasn't forme.
It was because of the securityI was receiving from my wife and
how I felt as a man.
Uh, putting food on the tablefor my kids.
That's just straight.
Um, yes, you, that's yourresponsibility, blah, blah, blah
.
But what did it do for my soulwas I felt like my wife will
(25:51):
value me more if I'm able to putmore money on the table.
And then for the unfaircircumstances.
I also know the negativity andwhat's crazy in this world.
I would rather have a littlebit more money than not.
I've had no money for a longtime.
That's why I pushed myself towhere we are today.
But that emotion of you know,when you lose your family, you
(26:13):
really don't.
You start questioning yourpurpose because for the longest
time you're fighting you, youfor 11 years you're fighting for
something you think is forever.
So there's a never give up kindof component to your character.
Or you have to really figureout a way to find and sell
yourself, and and the only wayto do it is just to know that
(26:38):
life will not stop throwingpunches and shooting bullets.
Man, it just never ends.
And and I think I am becoming abetter person by accepting my
hardships, and what I mean bythat is, it allows me to create
a better connection with thepeople that I love the most.
(26:58):
It's allowing me to just acceptthe day-to-day with the people
that are in my life, that Ireally trust are in it for the
right reasons and it allows meto really connect with that Um,
and I I think that's the hardestpart about my life at the
moment is like, what's mypurpose?
Right, and I I've had theseconversations with you and
(27:19):
Tiffany and people inside thecompany and they're like you
have so much purpose, you haveus, we love you, you are your
family, you know, and that rightthere really is so uplifting
and it really does have hope.
And here's kind of my, my, mythought process was you know, I
have so many clients that thattrust us, you know, and that I
made commitments to a long timeago.
So, no matter what goes on inmy life, I've made a commitment
(27:43):
and I have to fall, pull throughand I have to keep going and,
to be honest with you, that'sthe only thing that makes me
happy anymore and just to knowthat I can be a person of my
word.
You know, the other side of itis is that it is my team and my
family and I kind of look at it,as you know, from a biblical
side, that hey, look, if I'mgoing to be the warrior that's
(28:04):
got to take it to save myplatoon, if you will, then I'll
do that.
So what's happening is is I'mliving vicariously through you
and your kids every day.
When you call me on FaceTimewith the kids or you guys post
something about uncle Ryan, youguys come out here and spend
time with me.
Uh, I it's.
It's really kind of a pricelessfeeling because my kids now are
older.
So when I get a chance to seethe younger kids and that and
(28:26):
the craziness that goes alongwith it, which I don't miss, but
in some ways I really do missbecause it was the best time of
my life.
And what's cool is that when Ihave you guys in my life and I
see all that, all of that, it itreminds me that I at one time
had it and that it was sospecial and it was the best
feeling in the world.
And even as it was, hard as itwas and scared about things
(28:48):
financially, I would give upeverything right now to go back
to that.
Um.
So, uh, sorry, dude, just oh,that's that's what this is about
doggy um so you know, that's,that's my, my own, in essence,
demons.
But I, I think the, the way youhave to, the way you have to
(29:11):
frame it in your mind, is thatyou will get past this.
And I've actually been throughsomething similar in the past
and I was able to find loveagain.
And they say, hope deferredmakes the heart sick, but when
the desire comes, it's a tree oflife.
You know, I always rememberthat and I've had, I have a lot
(29:33):
of wonderful people that createthat hope in my life.
But I, I can tell that there'sa different drive and fight in
me.
Now, if I'm going to, if I hadto lose everything that mattered
the most to me, then I'm goingto build a billion dollar firm.
Yep, that's just how I'm goingto do it.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Well and I I see the way you operate.
A lot of times it's for thegood and you receive good from
the people that you're trying tomentor, trying to elevate.
But there is times where you Isee it firsthand People take
advantage of kindness and Ireally believe the reason why
(30:05):
you are the person you are isbecause God placed you into this
world because of all thetrouble you've had to go through
.
You're there as a saving gracebecause ultimately, I know you
don't like being alone, sotherefore, the more you can
surround yourself around othersand if you can help elevate them
(30:28):
, you feel a sense of peacebecause you're doing God's work.
Through that and hopefully,most of the time you're going to
get that same same feeling backfrom others.
I try my best all the time.
You know the people in ourcompany right now, I would say,
are really good and it's, it'shard when you know I was on
(30:50):
Rich's thing and he was talkingabout how you know, how you vet
high network workers and allthat.
And it makes me think all thetime our process of bringing
people on, you have to be ableto bring down the mass and the
reason why we're having thistype of podcast is because me
and you both sat in yourbackyard smoking a cigar
(31:10):
together, brainstorming how wecan elevate to, yes, grow more
generational wealth for ourinvestors and future investors,
but, at the end of the day, tohave what you feel in your soul,
to be able to connect withothers because everyone goes
through stuff and no one isperfect but at the end of the
day, if you can share yourbattles between the others that
(31:34):
are around you, it makes youfeel better inside.
We have people in our companythat have lost children.
I've when I haven't lost whatyou know, when I first signed up
I was two strikes and a felonypretty much on trial, shitting
my pants.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
But telling someone the other day saying, look,
someone opened a door for me atthat time in my life, tell the
story when you called me, whenyou were going through.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
Yeah, I literally.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
Just, I don't even know if I hired you yet.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
No, you didn't.
So I think it was probably thesecond day of actually meeting
you.
I went in with the formeremployee of yours and I was
training him at the time and, umyou, I think you just needed
someone to shoot some contentand it was like a trial.
And I remember it was like thatsecond initiation of I went to
(32:28):
I forgot the real estate guy,but he was speaking in Riverside
Manny.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Soto, maybe Manny.
Yeah, maybe Manny.
It was like that Riversidemixer.
Right, that's right, yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
And I think at that moment the vibes were great.
Me and you were connecting andyou know I did good, even though
I look back at it now I'llprobably add it in here.
But I look back and I'm like,oh my gosh, my, my video of
holding the camera is waydifferent from what it is now,
but that's a part of elevatingin life and I remember it was
time for me, like you I thinkyou had brought up saying like,
(33:00):
hey, you know, let's you knowwhat's your schedule, what, what
can you do?
And it mind you, there's nointerview, by by the way.
It was kind of like hey, brocome.
And then, oh, are you free, canyou come shoot?
And so I did.
And then I remember I called mymom and I was talking to Hannah
and I was like I feel inside,like those butterflies that you
(33:22):
feel meeting someone you love.
It was that same feeling in anon-gay way.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
I don't know you talk gay to me a lot.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
Now it's gay for sure , but it was that same feeling
of like I feel like I need totell Ryan, regardless if I stay
with him for six months or fouryears, like I am now, I need to
tell Ryan what I'm going through.
So I had I was in the middle ofmy court trials and I had a
court date and it was forSeptember or something like that
and I called him and I was likeI just explained what was going
(33:57):
on, I got into a stupid fightand, um, I'm being charged with
this and I was like I don't knowwhat's going to happen, but I
just paid for an expensivelawyer and ultimately, I believe
I'm not going to be convicted.
But you never know.
And I just want to let you knowbecause if you need me on this
(34:17):
date, I cannot come because Ican't miss court.
And I remember you pretty muchjust said you're like honestly,
and you just paused, you're likeyou telling me that just showed
me everything.
And I believe that's what ittakes to not only make this
company a billion-dollar firm,but those are those actions that
(34:39):
you expect from the peopleinside this firm to be so masked
off and so vulnerable with ouremotions and our decision-making
so that way, our investors cantrust us.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
But this well-oiled machine that we're building can
keep going you know I'm younailed it as far as like how I
responded to that, because I Icontinue to do that when people
kind of bring down their maskand are just honest about that
type of stuff, where to me I'mlike, oh man, I guess put some
hair on your chest, kind ofthing.
You know because I went throughmy thing right obviously before
(35:15):
this, so I kind of know whatyou're going through mentally.
But it made me feel like yourespected this and you wanted
more of a relationship here forbusiness.
That, uh, you're just, you'rehumbled, that's the best way to
put it.
You're just, you're humbled,that's the best way to put it.
You're humbled, and I can seewhen someone's humbled.
It's just the way life is, youknow.
You get kicked in, you can seepeople if they're humble or not
(35:36):
and honestly, I appreciate it,because the sooner you just pull
your mask off, then you're justgoing to mold with the right
people with the same thing.
So you might as well just do itnow.
You know, but my philosophy hasshifted, obviously, over time.
As you know, having a companyand employees and what have you
and what I've it's that conceptis just kind of keep your mask
off from the beginning and seehow this goes, because people
(35:57):
don't like you.
They like you, doesn't matter,you know, if you might as well
just take it off and try to bereal and see if you can connect
with other people, because Iknow how deep I run and I know
how much meaning and what I'mwilling to sacrifice to people I
love.
You know, are those people thesame way?
And really the crazy thing isthat they are all the same way
in their personal lives, buttheir friends, their family,
(36:18):
their kids, their husband,spouses, what have you?
Along with their, theirextended family.
And if you look at everybodyindividually, they all have big
families.
Kids, grandkids, they'reactually like.
If you look at everybodyindividually, they all have big
families.
Kids, grandkids, they'reactually like.
If you look at each person,they're kind of like the, the,
the rocks of their family,including you.
I call you the 1% of yourfamily and you are and we don't
need to talk about it now butyou're definitely the 1% and and
(36:39):
uh, I think where I have goneand where I think why the
company is where it's at, isbecause I don't hide anything
from my employees.
I, you know, we are not astandard corporate structured
company.
We all have titles, but it'smore like everyone's hands on
help each other no matter what.
(37:00):
Get it done.
That's our mission.
We do it no matter what.
But I think what's allowed usto create that culture is that
we've hired those same peoplethat are all the same.
They're very relationship based.
They, you know when someonedoesn't like something about
them, that we take it reallyhard we don't like.
When people don't like us, youknow, or say something mean.
You know everyone's hearts arein it.
(37:21):
Everyone's been through a lotprior to coming over here.
They've all been burned by someother company or lost friends
or whatever.
We've all been burned by someother company or lost friends or
whatever.
We've all.
You know everyone's had taken alot of hits, you know.
And so I think what's happenedis I've been able to just kind
of over, be kind in some ways,but also try to show that I'm
stern and others kind of.
You know that there is kind ofhierarchy at some level here.
(37:44):
We got to stay professional.
But but you know, what I've,what I'm seeing is is that
everybody is really allowingthemselves to settle in and and
we don't have turnover in thecompany.
So it's been a while and andeveryone's done very well, and
that's where I can feel theheartbeat of the company's
getting stronger and strongerbecause everyone's jiving and
(38:06):
doing really well, and I thinkthat's what has has created the
momentum that we have at thecompany.
It's massed down all heart.
Everyone needs to help eachother.
We all have problems in ourpersonal lives.
We're here to support eachother, not judging Everyone's
friends with husbands and wivesand spouses, and it's the best
thing I've ever had.
So I think that's why I countmy blessings on what I've gone
(38:27):
through, because it's making methe man that I am today.
And I know I can be better, butmy, my life is X, y and Z, and
even though I've gone I'm goingthrough a lot now and have been
through a lot I still have a lotof hope.
So therefore, like mentioningand I'll sum it up with this,
you know, to be able to go intoa mindset of peace and knowing
(38:50):
my direction and just kind ofallowing the Lord to take the
reins in essence.
Hey, jesus, take those thiswheel, please.
You know that's, that's whatI'm doing, you know, and it's
been.
It's been the best feeling inthe world to settle and just
know that there's actually abigger plan than what I can try
to put in place.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
Yep, I would say, for where you're at.
How has being a dad right and Iand your past relationship you
you were a stepdad also right.
So your decision-making andsacrifices.
(39:27):
We can end this segment in away with how sacrifices in your
family touched on it earlier,but I want others to understand
how deep rooted some sacrificesare.
You know, like you said, yousacrifice and your purpose was
to build everything for yourfamily, and now you have a
(39:49):
purpose still.
But there's certain sacrificesin life being away from your
kids, decision-making in thecompany, being able to budget
certain things like we're notflying first class.
You know those type of things.
How do you mitigate that inyour head, no matter if we're a
billion dollar firm or you'reback in 08 budget?
Speaker 1 (40:12):
I think I I really struggled with this because one
of the things that I probablyregret the most, but I knew I I
don't regret the decisions I'vehad to make.
What I regret is notexperiencing it or being there
like I should have been with,like Shane, in baseball Now, I
coached his baseball team whenhe was four or five, six, seven,
eight, you know.
But when things got older youkind of need it starts to get
(40:32):
real.
So really, once he turned about11, 12, 13, I was old, gone a
lot, but that was also apandemic hit, you know.
So I was kind of in scramblemode.
We moved our headquarters tonashville.
I was very distant.
Um, that was another fear, youknow, based decision, I think,
by far calculated, but it was my, my uh decision to act quickly
(40:57):
that kept us alive ultimately.
And so, moving to nashville, Iknew I had to do it, you know.
So it was calculated, but again, that fear that runs through my
DNA was going to get me to beproactive.
So I would say that was thenumber one starting piece of the
sacrifice of what I've had todo with my family, because when
(41:17):
we moved to our headquarters inNashville the idea was to move
the whole family to Nashvilleand that didn't happen.
So now we're in two separatehomes and that was kind of the
beginning of the level ofsacrifice I really now had to
start feel, because thenormalness of going home, the
same bed, you know, having mykids eating dinners, lunch,
breakfast, I mean just like yourstandard daily routine, is now
(41:39):
completely changed.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Now I'm by myself, without my kids and a place I've
never lived in before in anarea I don't know you know so
and trying to build the business.
And, mind you, for those thatare new to following Ryan and
understanding, watching itfirsthand, it was.
It was honestly painful insidebecause, honestly, it was
honestly painful inside because,honestly, I had no say other
than like, yeah, I could be thatvoice of reason for you, or
(42:08):
that ear to listen, butultimately, anything you did was
at risk of losing your familyor separating from them fully
Because, again, as a businessowner, you're making decisions
and if you're in the privateequity world, you're so pregnant
in Havasu, you got a newapartment in Nashville, so you
(42:32):
made these decisions that youcan't just pull back on.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
Well, it's even deeper than that.
I have investors that arerelying on me to make decisions,
and what am I supposed to do?
I mean, I think biblically andeverybody would say choose your
family over that.
But the ones that have investedwith me a lot of money, they're
not going to want to hear mesay that, especially when it's
your IRAs or 401ks, and this isall you got.
Speaker 2 (42:57):
Yeah, they worked their whole lives for it.
Speaker 1 (42:59):
So yeah, and mind you , as we talked about these, some
of these people have had cancer, my loved people I've talked
about this a million times whereI had one of an investor's
daughter died on the operatingtable at the age of nine from a
third open heart surgery, andher, the parents, which was our
main investors, and then youknow the um, the grandparents
all basically sold everythingthey had and liquidated
(43:21):
everything they had to keep thedaughter alive and when she
passed away, the life insurancepayout was all the money they
received and then they made theinvestment with that life
insurance payout.
I didn't know this until a yearlater.
So when I talk about aconnection to your family, I can
sit around and go oh, poor me.
Or do you know what people havehad to sacrifice to make the
money that they saved to nowtrust me to invest?
You don't?
(43:42):
You just have to figure outwhat's the best thing to do
overall and when I I ultimatelyhad to this, this really hard
decision to make, because I alsodidn't get the support, because
it was supposed to everyone'ssupposed to go to to nashville
and then nobody did right, so Iwas kind of left hanging there
and therefore all of the stuff.
(44:03):
I had to keep going, no matterwhat was going on.
I had to keep, you know,putting foot on the table for
everybody.
I had to keep trying tonavigate the waters of the
pandemic.
I had to move into a place,right the whole thing, and so it
was very difficult, but I hadto figure out a way to dig down
and fight, even knowing that,you know, my purpose again is
being lost.
So that feeling of losing yourpurpose, for I've I've had just
(44:24):
probably too many feelings ofthat too many times in my life,
of feeling that broken, broken,and I'm only, as you know, we
only got, we're only 50 minutesin.
I can, we, I have way morestories, right.
So you know, it's just.
You know, now I'm at a pointwhere my purpose I'm seeing is
like the people that I love thatare around me.
(44:44):
That's why, you know, we jokeand say everyone calls me daddy
at the company, but I act like adad because I care about
everybody, so damn much Am Icalling him.
Well, how, what's going on?
Today I saw that you're off.
I can tell you're a littlesensitive about something.
What can I do?
I'm like, literally that guythat just stays connected to
everybody, yep.
So that again, that's what'skeeping the bond.
But what?
But again, everyone has what.
(45:05):
What happened is and this iswhere I saw the shift when I
have been strong for so many,for so long everyone's had their
lives, and even though I wasreally good at putting on the
mask and my team didn't see whatI went through and that we
still had a mission toaccomplish, um, that I was still
breaking.
And when I finally broke, Ithink what I've done is I was
(45:29):
able to earn the love andrespect from my team and they
were like, okay, it's time toshow up for him, when he's been
showing up for us, exactly.
And and that was that was alife and this was recent.
So that's where I startedreally seeing the difference in
this company and the shift in it.
And then, obviously, jp Morganand all these things are
starting to come alive thatwe've been working really hard
towards.
And again it's now it's like,well, okay, well, hold on, let's
(45:50):
feel this energy, let's stayhooked to it.
And now I'm addicted to thatfeeling of where we can grow.
So, again, if my purpose isshifted, that's fine, but fall
in love with that new purposeand keep going.
So, to answer your question moredirectly, the probably the
hardest part is my kids, youknow, because, regardless of
(46:11):
what happens between me and anywoman, my kids are forever and I
think the best thing that Ihave done and I know a lot of
people won't agree with this,but I'm just being honest with I
know too much the same.
I've been talking about how youknow, uh, an institution.
I tracked a 900 million dollarpurchase for porn hub.
I know who's who bought pornhub and has four federal
(46:33):
indictments and it just I knowthat, that.
I know I know too much aboutmoney and how things move and
work and so it really is theroot to all evil, right, and so
when I know how the world works,I, I literally fear for my kids
.
We just talked about that inlunch in the car.
Yep, it's almost like I notonly do we fear bringing a child
(46:54):
into this world, but it'salmost like not right to now we
know we can go into, like weneed kids and all that stuff.
It's almost not right.
This world is getting so badthat the only purity they have
is when they're young.
After they get older, man,they're getting I mean, they're
going to get their asses kicked.
Now I want then.
So I think what I've done rightis that I have shown my kids
(47:15):
that there is this hey, dad'sgoing to sacrifice but he's
going to do something great.
And then when, when you'rethere, it's quality time and
then but I can get you where youwant to go your dreams I will
actually get to come true.
I have the resources, I havethe ability, I also have the
skill set and the relationshipsand the network you know, and
we're in the right locations,we're in the right industries
(47:36):
within the world and the way theworld sees us.
We I have positioned ourselves.
This is chess, not checkers,and even though I'm very in
tuned with my spiritual side,render to Caesar, which is
Caesar's man.
This is the way this world goes.
So it's really my opinion aboutjust continuing to work really
hard, build something that'svaluable, that helps a lot of
(47:56):
people and therefore the moneywill follow income wise.
But the biggest shifting point,I think, for me was again going
back to that purpose, and Ithink the company has purpose.
We have a mission, we're seeinglives change and that's what's
making everybody believe evenmore.
You know, and I tell people allthe time I actually know I
haven't told I've told oneperson just recently, but I've
(48:19):
wanted to tell more people isthat the one thing I'm actually
proud of, joe, is that I amfinally seeing how many people I
help.
I believe in my ability toguide, I believe that I can add
value to people's lives becauseif they just follow it, they'll
do fine, or whatever thesituation is, and I haven't been
(48:41):
wrong.
And so I think like that is abig shift in my mind too,
because I don't think a lot ofpeople really believe in
themselves deep down.
But if you could start lookingat it from the perspective of
like, yeah, I actually reallyhelp people and they're telling
me it's not like I'm just makingit up and I think I'm being
arrogant, but when they tell youyou've helped me so much,
(49:02):
there's probably no betterreward than that.
And I was just telling Ashleythe other day.
I said you know, there'snothing, there's no better gift
in this world than someonebelieving in you.
That's the best gift you cangive anybody to say I believe in
you and then and then doeverything they can to help you.
Um, and that's what I thinkeveryone's starting to feel from
(49:25):
me.
But again, I couldn't get tothis mindset without being
broken now, before three, fourtimes prior to that, um I?
That's why I really enjoy beinghumbled.
I know it sounds weird, butjust to be able to sit back and
force yourself to breathe, drownout the noise a little bit.
(49:47):
Sit back recalibrate, thinkabout what's going on, be
proactive, stay focused.
Do not be angry, right, justcontrol your mind, and I will
say that's something I know howto do.
You know I've done very wellthere.
I think controlling my mind hasbeen a real hard thing to do,
but I think that's one thing Ican do.
Speaker 2 (50:08):
Yeah, I think for a lot of people hearing that come
from you, it will build and gainmore trust, because this is a
relationship business.
Speaker 1 (50:18):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (50:19):
Regardless of what anyone thinks, I don't care what
family office or what checkwriter is who?
If you're not showing your maskdown, they're not going to
write that check.
And I believe this type ofsegment is what me and you both
have been wanting to share andopen up to others, to gain that
trust in those individuals,because a lot of times people
(50:43):
fail to realize where they comefrom and, like you said, they
need to be humble at times andsometimes I forget and I need to
be re humbled by you did thislast week.
You know that was hard and it'shard for me.
Yeah, you know it's really hard.
Having hard conversations isnot easy, but it's it's
(51:05):
necessary.
Speaker 1 (51:05):
It's hard for me it's really hard.
Having hard conversations isnot easy, but it's necessary.
It takes maturity to just openup.
They say gay marriage isbetween a man and a man.
It's like 75%.
They don't write, I think.
Heterosexually it's like 50-50,divorce rate and then married
women is like a 75% divorce rate.
It's something like that wheremarried men actually can last
longer in marriages.
(51:26):
That's why we do so well in ourfriendship.
Speaker 2 (51:28):
I see it.
I see it, we might as well justgo get married.
So that way we might as wellman for you to enter some
benefits tax benefits, maybe Idon't know something about Chuck
and Chuck and Larry, whateverthat maybe is but yeah, I think
I think we covered a lot ofground and for those that are
listening they probably willreally appreciate it.
There's a lot of people thatlove hearing us joke around on
(51:51):
social media.
Speaker 1 (51:53):
I I think that gains more attractive attraction than
anything make fun of each other,but uh, it allows people to
connect and feel more emotionhere's the takeaway I think from
today is the fact that I havehad to get tired of trying to
keep that mask on.
I've been beat down, I'mexhausted and I am humbled
(52:17):
enough to say I just don't havethe energy to keep fighting for
the world to see me a specificway.
Now you still do things foralgorithms and Instagram, but
when people get to know me, Ithink it's important they know
that this is the raw.
I would want to encouragepeople that are listening to
this to stay there.
I haven't talked on this podcast, but I reconnected with my
(52:39):
mother in 2017.
So I talked about earlier howmy father raised me so that'll
be another segment and how Ichanged my life and how hard
that was to forgive and show mykids the forgiveness that was
necessary and that was veryhumbling for me, but now totally
worth it because I have a greatrelationship with my mom and,
(53:10):
in fact, was the purpose and thedesign and the founding kind of
idea was building the barncaves, and the design, the idea
behind the barn caves wasbecause of my connection and
reconnection to my mother, sowe'll talk about that in the
next one.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (53:17):
That's why we made a documentary.
Mind you, my first one.
Go go hit the link to go watchthat, for sure.
But that is a.
There's so many.
We can go on so many, so manydifferent stories and rabbit
holes of your life.
Because it will relate to otherpeople.
Speaker 1 (53:33):
Yeah, for sure so, again, takeaway is mask down, be
humble, try to pick, pick andchoose wisely who to invest your
love and time into.
That's probably the hardestthing.
But, you know, continue to givebecause one day you will
receive.
It's okay to love, it's okay totry, it's just can't stop
trying.
But just harden up in a waywhere, like, if the relationship
(53:54):
doesn't work out whether it'sfriends, whatever business
relationship just walk away inpeace, be peaceful.
It does not.
Life is already tough enough.
I would say.
That's one and then two you know, using you know some of my
hardships as maybe a connectionpoint for people to know what
it's like to have.
You know, feel like they don'thave a purpose and that you,
your purpose, purpose can shift.
(54:15):
And sometimes, when you'resmarter, older and have been
through enough, you, you have adeeper connection now to that
purpose.
You feel it, you want it.
Older and have been throughenough, you have a deeper
connection now to that purpose.
You feel it, you want it, yourdedication to it, your
discipline, your, you knowchanges when you feel and you're
connected to your purpose.
So that would be the takeawayfor today.
So we'll leave some of theother stuff for later, but I
(54:35):
really appreciate you draggingthis out of me because I didn't
think this is where I had anidea.
And you kind of have that smirkbefore you get on and you kind
of dance funny and I know yougot something on your mind, but
uh, no, I really appreciate thethis.
Speaker 2 (54:47):
This was, this was, this was great yes, uh, well,
let's so wrap it up with just uhending and then, um, maybe do
like just call to action.
If you guys want to learn more,make sure to check out the
other podcast.
Speaker 1 (55:01):
All right, so all right.
So I'm going to say thanks, joe.
Okay, guys, so I reallyappreciate it, joe, thank you
very much for for for being here, buddy, as always, and thanks
for dragging it out of me.
That that was cool.
I really appreciate it.
Love you, buddy.
All right, everybody, go ahead.
The rest of my story, but thepodcast series as well.
(55:21):
We're talking a lot more aboutbusiness and every once in a
while I'll kind of get morepersonal.
I'm hoping I can connect to you.
If anybody felt that this wasfruitful, please just comment.
I'd love to get your insight onit.
If you had anything that wassimilar to what I've gone
through, share it.
I know sometimes talking aboutit makes things a little bit
easier, but know that you knowsomebody who's shared those
feelings and
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