June 8, 2023 • 37 mins
What if you could create an award-winning support network for working parents and carers while building meaningful connections in the wider community? Join me as I talk with Tim Soper from Aon about the incredible success of their Parents and Carers Network and its subgroup, the Dads at Aon Network. Discover how these innovative networks have grown and evolved, providing invaluable support and inspiration to countless working parents.
During our conversation, we explore the power of PR and visibility in forging connections with external networks and discuss the steps necessary to establish a thriving support group from the ground up. Tim shares his insights on the importance of spreading the load among dedicated members, creating a space for open conversations, and utilizing available resources to make a lasting impact.
Finally, we dive into the nuts and bolts of structuring a support network, from crafting a purposeful annual plan to fostering an inclusive environment that celebrates diversity. Learn how employee happiness can directly benefit the workplace and gain valuable tips from Tim's experiences in growing and supporting the Dads at Aon Network. Don't miss out on this empowering episode packed with invaluable insights for anyone looking to start or strengthen their own network.
Find out more about Tim:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/tim-soper-a02907b4/
Find out more about Elliott:
https://musicfootballfatherhood.com/
ABOUT ME - AYESHA MURRAY
I'm an accredited career coach with over 20 years experience in the corporate world. Having experienced the working parent juggle first hand, I now coach people through their career and life challenges.
WORK WITH ME
I'm here to give you the confidence, self-belief and support to help you design a life that works for you and your family. Through tried and tested approaches, tools and methodologies, you'll leave the coaching process with clear direction, motivation and energy.
If you'd like to find out more about how coaching could work for you, book a free 30 min call at https://calendly.com/ayeshamurraycoaching/discovery-call
CONNECT WITH ME
Website - www.ayeshamurray.com
LinkedIn - www.linkedin.com/in/ayeshamurray75
Instagram - www.instagram.com/ayeshamurray_coaching
DISCLAIMER
The views, thoughts and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to the host and guest speakers. Please conduct your own due diligence.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
Welcome to the Parent Equation Culture Shift podcast with me,
i Shamari.
And me, Eriah Trey, from MusicFootball, Fatherhood.
This podcast is all aboutcelebrating the amazing work
being undertaken by staffnetworks across the country,
individuals dedicated tosupporting their fellow working
parents alongside their day jobs.
(00:24):
Networks who not only offerguidance and inspiration within
their own organisations, but areat the forefront of driving
real change and a systemicculture shift.
So, whether you're alreadyrunning a network or are
thinking about starting one,each episode will give you the
inspiration and tools you needto get started.
So today I'm joined by TimSoper from Aeon.
(00:47):
I am flying solo today, so justme and Tim on the call.
Welcome, tim, thanks for beinghere today.
Pleasure.
Thanks for having me.
So, tim, you are the chair orco-chair of the Parents Network
at Aeon.
Well, neither.
actually, i was kind of a thirdco-chair last year,
specifically co-chair the dadsat Aeon Network, which is a
(01:11):
subgroup of the Parents andCarers Network.
So worked closely with theco-chairs of the Parents and
Carers Network and still do thisyear.
So I've spoken to them before Icame on this call because I
wanted to hear their views abouthow it feels to run a network
(01:32):
alongside their day jobs.
So it's not just my view, it'sother people's as well.
Okay, great, Because we'vetalked to other companies on
this podcast around this sub,how the main Parents and Carers
Network may start and then thesesubgroups do come off that main
one which obviously is great,because it shows that the need
is there and the voices arethere to be heard.
So how did you get involvedwith the dads network then?
(01:54):
So where did that journey startfor you?
Right, so that would have beenin 2021.
So year before last I had along period of depression,
actually.
So, I've told that story lots oftimes.
My daughter stopped talking tome and it went on for a year and
a half in the end But it was agood few months into that and I
(02:17):
was doing a phased return towork and I did a lot of talking
like as a dad two colleaguesabout how I was feeling, etc.
Etc.
And they just because I'dspoken about my story as a dad
so much, two colleagues, andthey were so supportive.
I got contacted by the co-chairof the Parents and Carers
(02:39):
Network at the time saying Tim,we've got this group called Dads
at Aon, which has been not veryactive for a long time and
probably could do with a newco-chair.
Would you be interested?
Yeah, absolutely, likedefinitely.
And so I took that kind of ballby the horns and straight away,
(03:00):
everything I was saying,opening honestly to my
colleagues about my experienceas a dad I just started saying
in there And as a co-chair, thatwas almost like role modelling,
open conversation and rolemodelling, being open about how
you feel.
And it snowballed from there andother people started doing the
(03:23):
same.
So yeah, i mean that's a longanswer to a short question.
No good answer.
Yeah, how would it go then fromwhat sounds like a quite
organic start and conversationsand that sort of safe space of
talk into what I'm assuming isnow a more, i suppose?
is it all structured networknowadays?
It's much bigger now.
So it started off at 40 peopleand it's probably over 130 now.
(03:47):
So it's grown a lot in thattime.
Still plenty of scope to growmore.
When I was co-chair of it lastyear for 12 months well, just
over 12 months you could call it15 months really just started
before 2022 and then through thewhole of 2022.
I then tried to give it somestructure by picking topics to
(04:08):
cover in coffee mornings So wewould do things like postnatal
depression in men, anything youcan think of.
Share parental leave.
We did one.
We had a mum and a dad doing akind of panel discussion about
the kind of their experience ofshare parental leave from either
(04:30):
side of the fence from the mumside and the dad side And that
was interesting for the dads tohear and also interesting for
the dads to hear from theperspective of this might sound
like a scary, complicated policy, but actually here's how you do
it and here's how it works inpractice, sort of thing.
So we tried to give it a bit ofstructure with some topics to
(04:52):
talk about.
We entered the working dadsemployer awards as we started to
grow and it became moresuccessful that way.
So that then also gave itanother, i guess, injection of
pace in its growth publicity,because as soon as you win an
(05:16):
award and you shout about goodpractice, i think it puts a bit
of pressure on the business tolive up to its name even more.
I think that's probably, in anutshell, kind of where we took
it last year and it kind ofwhere it continues to be now.
And I'm channeling Elliot here Imentioned the word governance
because I know he'd ask thisquestion.
(05:38):
Yeah.
From the governance point ofview then, as you've got more
structure, do you have a sort offormalised committee where the
decisions are made, and how doesthat work with executive
sponsorship or kind of seniormanagement?
Well, yeah, the parents andcarers networks always had
senior sponsorship, So there'ssomeone on the exact committee
that sponsors each one of whatwe call our business resource
(06:00):
groups, which is parents andcarers, is one of the mental
health, another one, lgbtq plusanother one, etc.
Etc.
Each of those the E&I strands,if you like have an executive
sponsor.
So we have one and he isfeatured in the video that is
(06:21):
the follow up to us winning theawards last year.
So he's actually on it, so he'sspeaking.
I think just having that namedindividual against the network
gives it immediately somecredibility when people are
talking about can I do somethingto do with the parents network?
Yeah, yeah, and in terms ofgovernance, when you're on the
(06:46):
committee as I still am,although not co-chair, i'm on
the committee you get kind ofhours allowance in your day job
at Aon.
So we certainly in my part ofAon we have to do a certain
number of hours that ischargeable to clients each year
and they let me take some ofthat time out to do stuff which
(07:08):
isn't going to be charged toclients but does help all of our
colleagues and probably ourclients at some point, because
happier people are probablybetter, more productive people.
Well, exactly, i think that'salso a lot of these
conversations that are.
The impact that thesecommittees and these networks
are having on their peopleObviously has a beneficial
positive effects much, muchbroader reaching than just in
(07:29):
those events or in theconversations that having yeah
yeah, it's not to beunderestimated, actually, the
power that these networks have.
Absolutely Well.
Look at me, for example.
I was off work for months.
The fees return the network Idid a personal podcast about my
story, by the way, and I did saythe dads at AL network was a
(07:50):
huge part of my recovery.
So, yes, they on a benefitedhugely from my recovery in that
respect and the support theygave me in the output that I'm
now producing for them, which isWhich is amazing really, i
think yeah they.
How closely then do you get as asubgroup?
Don't know what use the wordsubgroup makes you feel like
(08:12):
it's less important.
Obviously it's not at all as astrand of those of the.
Minutes and Carers network.
Do you get involved, as againas committee, in things to do
with a sort of more as besttransactional part of the
business, like the HR policiesand the conversations around
those kind of things?
Yeah, so we do get a seat at thetable when those sorts of
(08:34):
things are discussed, which isgood because we get to feed into
those conversations.
I wouldn't say we get a seat atthe table every single time,
but it certainly does exist Thatwe have and we have recently On
, changed our snow secret, we'vechanged our policies, so we've
enhanced our paternity leave fordads and we've greatly enhanced
(08:58):
our shared parental leavepolicy.
So so, yeah, so those thingshave been.
Those things were massivelyinfluenced, i think, by the
input from the parents andcarers network in those
discussions because, ultimately,these business resource groups
are a voice to the executive ofthe needs of these people, as
(09:22):
well as the kind of a day to daypeer support thing.
So, yeah, yeah, and you'vereferenced already there a
couple of times the working dadsawards that you entered and
last year, or one of thecategories for and obviously a
part of that, there were otherorganizations there as well,
including John Lewis partnership, etc.
Do you find that, then, as anetwork within a on, you have
(09:44):
the ability to, i suppose, getinvolved with networks outside
of a on in order to, to learn,to inspire, to connect with
other networks?
Yeah, well, part of having hoursto spend is that you can do
that in those hours.
You choose how you use thosehours.
I knew choose.
If you want to do more hours,you know you can do more hours.
(10:04):
You just only get certainallowance towards your time For
the year.
For a man they're not restrict,not saying you can only spend
that amount of time.
So If you've got connectionsthat you want to spend your
parents and carers hours talkingto someone in a different
company, as I did last year,many, especially after the
awards from people that wantedto learn about how to set up a
(10:27):
dad's networks I spoke to JohnLewis, i spoke to Ernest and
young.
I spoke to lots of differentpeople that want to know how to
do it.
How do I do that?
and apparently there'ssomething slightly different,
which is that my the the hoursthat I'll give me now is to
(10:47):
support the insurance familiesnetwork.
So I co chair The insurancefamilies network, which is
essentially an insuranceindustry wide network to support
parents and carers.
So that's my hours allowancefrom a on this year, whilst
remaining on the parents andcarers committee and definitely
as part of that role anddefinitely talking to other
(11:09):
companies about what they'redoing, including a really good
event that we did in Februarythis year with an organization
called from babies with love,and they produce what's called a
cutting edge by to parentalpolicies and practice.
(11:29):
You can Google that and you'llfind that the guide there which
we inputted to, and we sat on apanel with a on Sony music and
William Hill talking about theirpolicies Yeah, so, talking
about their policies andpractices that they do.
I think it was Sony and I'mtrying to get this right, but
for give me if I don't think itwas Sony That had a.
(11:52):
No, it was William Hill thathad a neonatal leave policy.
So, like me, my daughter wasborn two months premature.
They can Again give me if I getthe details wrong, but I think
new parents that have apremature baby can have the
entire time of all paid whilsttheir child is still in hospital
(12:14):
before the due date.
So that's amazing.
Sony can't remember what theirfantastic policy was, but you
have to go and look it up.
But anyway, the events again.
I think it's a result of theawards that we're invited to
present beyond the panel atthese kind of events and listen
to what other companies aredoing.
(12:34):
They're brilliant parents.
Yeah, questions was going to befor those who spoke to other
companies about starting a dancenetwork.
For those listening who arestill at the beginning stages,
what would the steps be?
a part of that you're sayingobviously is just the PR of this
.
The visibility of your networkis helping you have those
(12:57):
conversations with diverse in adiverse range of industries, not
just insurance.
So what would you all Yourfirst steps be?
someone who's who thinksthere's a real need for a
network of dance network orparents and co-host network in
their company, but answer whereto start.
What's a good question and Ialways give the same answer.
But I'm not.
(13:18):
I'm not the gospel truth on.
This is just an opinion, butmost companies these days, at
least in financial services oroffice based companies, and
we're communicating like a teamssetup, microsoft teams or if
(13:40):
you're I don't know, in abuilding firm, you might have
was that or something like thatAll you do is set the group in
there.
It's easy to do, however muchforward This is dat and
publicise the fact that it'savailable, put a few people in,
publicise that it's there andstart talking in it And say this
(14:01):
is a way for us to share commonexperiences and support each
other.
Someone once said to me Tim, youcan speak to as many
counsellors as you like and theyare good what they do.
There's nothing quite likespeaking to someone in the same
situation as yourself or hasbeen through something similar.
(14:21):
So that's almost what I wouldsay in my publicised email.
What I just said then.
That's like I would literallywrite that We care about our
staff.
There's nothing quite liketalking to someone else in the
same situation.
So we're setting up thisnetwork.
It's in WhatsApp or Teams.
Join the space.
You don't have to use it allthe time.
(14:42):
You don't ever have to respondIt's not compulsory but if
you're in there, you might seesomething that you might be able
to help someone else with andyou might want to share
something and get some help.
I think that's things aboutnormalising everything that
parents are going through,regardless of the situational
scenario, where it's nottransactional, it's not
(15:03):
policy-based or real life, it'sreal stories.
Yeah, and once it's started likethat, you can listen to what
people need and you can askquestions about what people need
.
Do you think it would be usefulto have an intranet site for
parents and carers where we canstore stuff?
Yes, okay, then we'll see if wecan get that done.
It might be good if we havesome executive sponsorship for
this group.
What do you think?
Yeah, that's good.
We'll go and speak to the execteams here.
(15:24):
We can get someone's name putto it and it will kind of grow
from there.
But I just think there'snothing to stop anyone setting a
chat, just setting a chat upSmall steps.
Small steps.
I think one of the barriers thatwe've been hearing as well
potential barriers for peoplewho might be wanting to set it
up or get involved is thisfeeling like it might be a
colossal impact on their time.
(15:48):
And again, what I've beenhearing through these
conversations I'd be interestedto get your view on this is
again there's no expectation.
It's not as if you can drop inand drop out.
You can come in, you can leanas much as you need to,
depending on what you need.
It doesn't have to be afull-time commitment from
anybody, actually, becauseeveryone is managing this
alongside their jobs andfamilies and things.
(16:11):
Yeah, and it can go silent for along time And not saying that
Dad's A on Duttus or Parents inCare as it does.
But it could do in theory andin a company just go silent for
a long time And then someonecould remember it's there and
pick it up again.
That's not wrong, that's fine,like.
So yes, if one person isproactive and doing everything
(16:39):
and trying to grow 10 differentideas like creating an intranet
site, enter some awards, do thison LinkedIn, that on LinkedIn
network If someone's putting iton themselves to take all of
that on their own shoulders, ontheir own, then it would be
quite draining.
And to be honest, that was oneof the pitfalls I fell into at
the start of last year was doingso much on my own And someone
(17:02):
had to kind of grab my shouldersand say, tim, you work for a
big company here.
You've got the support of thecomms team, you've got the
support of other people on thecommittee.
You can spread the load alittle bit.
So I think yeah, i mean todrive it forward with a bit of
purpose.
I think you would want ahandful of people and spread
(17:23):
things between those handful ofpeople, at least to start with.
I say handful because itprobably makes decisions a bit
easier.
But, like you say, if youdidn't have that and no one was
driving it forward and it wentsilent, you did a few weeks of
conversation, it went silent fora year and then took off.
(17:43):
you still set it up in thefirst place and that wouldn't
have then taken off in a year'stime had you not done that.
Yeah, wise words.
What are you most proud of aspart of that network?
I'd have to say accepting theaward in Parliament was a big
(18:04):
deal, i think, but really mypride isn't accepting the award,
like when I think about whatI'm proud of.
I once did an event onInternational Wednesday and
there were kind of 300 people inthe audience.
It was International Wednesdayin 2021 about mental health, and
(18:25):
I was talking about connectionswith male friends as a form of
support and a healthy thing tohave as a man.
It's 300 people in the audienceand one person connected with me
afterwards Well, more than oneactually, but one in particular
I'll never forget.
I won't go into the detail ofwhat they said, but I know for a
(18:47):
fact they helped that oneperson.
So I think what I'm trying tosay is what I'm most proud of.
I know in the last 18 months totwo years that I've helped or
dad's, the A on the group hashelped I don't know 10s,
hundreds of people, and I thinkthat's the real pride knowing
(19:13):
the impact you've had on atleast one person's life.
Yeah, the awards are nice Andbut you know, when I'm saying
I'm proud to collect an award,what I'm really proud about is
to be able to shout about it infront of a lot of people and
hopefully they can do the samething.
So I'm proud about, i think,the impact that hopefully I've
(19:34):
had on men and dads in and outof A on in the last 18 months,
which I think it has.
Yeah, I think, as you say, asyou said before, it's that
ripple effect just helpingadding value to just one person
will create a ripple effectbeyond that one person.
So it's feeling confident thateverything you're doing is
(19:57):
ultimately having a lot morevalue than it may even seem like
when you're doing it.
Yeah, yeah.
And then from a practical pointof view, things like because
running these networks, apartfrom time your time, other
people's time potentially couldinvolve money, depending on what
you want to do with thesenetworks and what events you
want to put on.
Do you get any budget for thiskind of thing?
(20:19):
Do you have to, i suppose,pitch for budget?
How does it work?
Yeah, so we do have.
So we get a standard.
I think at A on it might be afew thousand or something like
that of that order of magnitudeof money each year to do what we
want, to make a plan and use.
That could be charity donations, it could be running events, it
(20:45):
could be anything really that'shelpful for parents and carers
or to send a message.
We did a supporting workingdads event at the start of in
April 2022, we recorded it.
It's online.
It's going to be released againsoon on the Insurance Families
Network website.
But that event Elliot Ray tookpart in and hosted, and so
(21:12):
Elliot costed money, and so we,i think, managed to team up with
the Insurance Families Networkfor that particular event, but A
on would pay for the room andhost the room host the event and
things.
So they're quite happy to dohosting of things on top of the
pot of money, and we've alwaysgot the opportunity to pitch for
(21:34):
more if we need it.
So yeah, what do you think makesa successful event in the sense
of getting, i suppose not justat the running the event,
obviously, but getting theinterest from, especially, maybe
more from, the dads in A on,but getting the interest getting
the word out there, i thinkbecause you've run a few.
Are there any kind of creativeways of getting more visibility?
(21:59):
And also, as you've alluded tohybrid working et cetera, how to
make sure that the most peoplecan access this kind of thing,
even if they're not necessarilyin an office with access to a
laptop or face to face?
My top tips, having done a fewevents and also seeing the kind
of aftermath after the event, isthat you need an engaging event
(22:22):
which probably lasts half anhour to an hour, so that people
are engaged on the day.
You then need a good follow-upplan.
We did this.
You need to record it, i think,because people might not have
been able to make it on the dayand it's a permanent resource if
you record it.
So get people's permission andrecord it.
(22:45):
Top tip if it's like half anhour or an hour long, that might
put people off listening to it.
So what we try to do I haven'treleased it yet, but what we are
going to try to do with thatsupporting Working Dads event is
almost chapterize it and chopit up into videos that are maybe
two or three minutes long,where the discussion focused on
a particular topic as part ofthe wider thing, so that I think
(23:11):
sort of a bite-sized follow-up.
We did this event on this dayand here's three minutes on this
.
That is impactful, yeah, yeah.
I think that's probably what Iwould say for events is yeah,
record them and share them wellafterwards, and if you can make
them bite-size, do that.
(23:35):
And where do you think thefuture of the Dads network goes,
and what's your aspirations forhow it?
grows and evolves.
We've got 5,000 employees.
So I know 130 is a lot morethan we started with at 40, but
it's nowhere near the number ofdads or allies of dads, because
it's not just for dads.
Yeah, dads or allies of dads inthe business could be more.
(23:58):
So I just want to see thisnoble continue to grow.
We, after the awards, we gotsome feedback last year on what
we could do better to, and someof that was on publicity.
So we've seen in the kitchens,here in the offices now they've
(24:18):
got screens and they put thingsup on the screens like an
advertising board, and we had ahave you heard about the Parents
and Carers Network and had a QRcode like you could scan on
your phone and it would take youstraight to the thing.
So, yeah, i'd like to see itgrow through additional
(24:40):
publicity.
To be honest, in terms of whatis here, what dads at Aon is,
i'm not really sure it can getany better than it is because
it's so open in there.
One thing we have looked intoand I'd like to see grow is, you
know, i think it's a little bitmore of a not just the teams
(25:01):
aspect, but some in person, somaybe a sort of dad mentoring
scheme.
So let's say you have let's sayyou've got a bunch of dads in
your business that are dads offive and six year olds, or dads
of nine, 10, 11 year olds, oreven dads of teenagers.
And then you've got anothergroup who are just about to
become dads, or brand new dads.
(25:21):
Could they be paired up with alonger in the tooth dad or a
more experienced dad for someface-to-face?
because a lot of the feedbackwe get is could we have some
more face-to-face and could itbe less group and more
one-on-one?
so I wouldn't mind doing that.
I think almost a coachingmental space.
(25:44):
Yeah, and that might be a spaceor it might just be.
You're paired up and thenyou've got an individual chat
with that person.
But the dad-to-aon group stillexists as a group and events and
coffee mornings still happensin groups and virtually.
But could you get somethingmore in person and local office
level?
go in, even if it's like a daddrink on a Friday afternoon or
(26:07):
for a group of dad, likeanything bit more in person, i
think would be good.
Yeah, then, with regards thatyou talked about the parents and
carers network being separateor linked, obviously, but kept
to the dad's network, No, so thedad's network is inside the
parents and carers network.
So the team space is calledparents and carers network and
(26:30):
then within the team's space youcan have mini spaces if you
like.
So there's one for new parents,there's one for dad-to-aon,
there's one for neurodiversity.
So parents of children withkind of ADHD accept and that
sort of thing, all the thingsthat would put you in a common
(26:51):
interest group really.
And if we notice a pool ofpeople discussing a certain
issue, then we suggest having aspecific space for that issue.
Dads is obviously a natural one,because dads exist everywhere
and always when it comes tobeing a parent.
So it's made sense to just havea dad-to-aon.
(27:16):
There isn't a mom's a on chat,but maybe there.
Maybe there should be, but itwas.
I think the feeling was, or isit the assumption you should
assume the mums would be activein the parents and carers
general discussion group anyway.
So, if you like, that wouldlargely be a mom's group,
(27:39):
although everyone's in it butthe dads at Aon.
I think just the label it gaveit more of a, more of a
permission for dads to talk inthat space, i guess.
Yeah, i think, i think alright,i think it's an assumption, but
I think it's probably the rightassumption that and again I'm
sort of trying to think whatElliot would say here is that
it's probably more of a barrierfor the dads to feel that they
(28:01):
can speak up in the safe space,so creating a group just for
them enables that to happenprobably more easily than if
they're part of a wider group.
I think that's true in whatpeople have been saying to us.
And I call it.
I call it the unsung things ofparents and caring, right?
so I think carers as a wholeare completely unsung, as in
(28:25):
nobody talks in the office abouttheir stresses and strains
about being a carer of theelderly.
Historically, dads wouldn't betalking about how it feels to be
a parent The unsung things.
So you tend to have a chat toencourage the discussion about
the unsung things.
So there's a carers chat inthere, there is a parental leave
(28:46):
chat, there is a dads chat,there is a neurodiversity chat
which helps those things startto get talked to by.
We have a phrase that Elliottold me once and he uses all the
time parent out loud, and weexpanded that on to say caring
out loud, so which covers allbases, really do it out loud.
(29:07):
And you know, yes, those unsungthings which really cause
people a lot of pain and theyend up struggling alone unless
you talk about it, unless youask them about it.
I think it goes back to yourpoint of just you just start it.
So start a chat, however smallit might feel when a platform is
right, and then, with the Aonexample, these subgroups come
(29:32):
out of that organically.
Because of the conversationspeople are having Yes, and you,
everyone's aware of thoseconversations, everyone's
listening or hearing thoseconversations.
Then you can say, well, thisneeds a group of its own and
that becomes something in itsown right.
Yeah, because you know you mightget someone in the dads at Aon
saying something about sharedparental leave and I say, ah,
(29:54):
we've actually got an entireshared parental leave chat.
If you want to go into that oneyou can ask all your questions,
because there'll be people whohave done it before, people that
want to know the answers, andthat saves, i guess, the hundred
dads in the dads chat thataren't interested in shared
parental leave at that moment intime, seeing all the detail of
that.
(30:14):
But they know where to go ifthey are interested.
So it can make the chat a bitmore efficient in a way and help
meet people's people's needs abit more efficiently.
Yeah, i think you listen tofeedback, aren't you?
so it's just natural feedback.
That's there.
Yeah, it's not.
It doesn't feel like that.
I suppose maybe it does,because we're obviously running
(30:34):
these things, but I feel likethe onus has taken off you a bit
because you would listen towhat we will need and it's
happening organically.
Yeah rather than feel like youhave to have a plan structure to
get these things underway.
But leads me to anotherquestion how planned and
structured are you in these?
committees and networks.
Well, we try and have an annualplan at the start of the year.
(30:59):
So we want to have a kind of acalendar of awareness days and
weeks and things, things likeInternational Women's Day,
international Men's Day, carersWeek, all the things that are
publicised.
We want to have a calendar ofthat and we also and as a
committee we kind of have astart of year meeting to say
(31:21):
what is the plan for the yearand what are we going to try and
do when We have newsletters aswell, quarterly, that are issued
to the members of the parentsand carers.
So you know, part of being isthe chat.
An extension of the basicWhatsApp or Teams chat would be
to have then an emailing listfor things to be sent to.
(31:43):
Probably most companies arelike Aon would say you can't
just willy-nilly email what youlike to everybody in the company
, so by people joining thesegroups almost gives permission
to receive the stuff that youwant to produce.
So, yeah, so we do have aplanning meeting at the start of
(32:07):
the year.
There are committee, regularcommittee meetings during the
year to touch base on how we'redoing and to talk about any new
ideas.
In the insurance familiesnetwork we do something the same
, probably a bit more formal.
We come up with a mission youknow what we want to achieve Or
(32:29):
actually, in the insurancefamilies network, aligning that
to United Nations sustainabilitygoals.
So things like gender equalityand equal opportunities for all
Make sense for us as an industrynetwork to try and tie in what
we're doing for parents andcarers and mums and dads With
(32:53):
those goals.
So, yeah, we're even morestructured with our planning and
objectives in the industry-widegroup.
Yeah, that's like you'd alsoadvise them to again.
People who might be thinkingabout doing this is structure
helps.
I think so structure helps.
It is difficult on top your dayjob, so you want to try and
give it a structure, withoutpressure, because Might be that
(33:16):
people haven't had time but itdoesn't mean that they won't in
the next quarter or the nextmonth.
So I think it's good alwaysgood to her purse, isn't it?
set your purpose and then trackhow you're going through the
year.
But don't you know if you'reworried about achieving it.
Then set, set something up, setthe bar a bit lower, you know,
don't.
Don't set monthly events, forexample, as your target.
(33:38):
Set Six monthly, to start withYeah.
Yeah, and you'll watch it growand you'll is more people join
You might, your committee mightgrow, and then you've got more
hands on deck to make nextyear's plan a little bit bigger.
And easier.
Yeah, you guys as an individualcontributor.
(34:00):
Yeah, yeah, definitelyDefinitely.
So, before we wrap up today,then, tim, what is your?
and the top tips, insights.
Closing remarks again foranyone who might need a bit of
Support and getting these thingsup and running.
Okay, well, find someone elsewho wants to be involved as well
(34:21):
.
So it's not just one personstarting it.
You know three, four, five, sixpeople Form the group that way
and start having conversationsand see I feel as a small group
and then Tell everybody about asuccess story for the last month
We've set this group up.
It's been going really well.
Do you want to join?
so that would be, i Think, mytip number one.
(34:46):
Number two would be Beinclusive.
So if you know, well, for astart, make sure you've got dads
in there as well as mums, likethat's one inclusive thing.
So men and women.
But if you know anyone who's ina special situation, like in
(35:07):
the same sex couple, for example, and they've Adopted a child or
they've gone through seragacyprocess, like that would be a
good person to have in there fora completely different
perspective.
So, and if you've got frompeople from different ethnic
backgrounds, like, just make itas diverse as you can in, like
(35:28):
with anything, you'll have abetter outcome because you'll
have a better range of thinking.
So that's top tip Number two.
I guess top tip number three isTry not to shoot the lights out
on day one.
So Make think, make your plans,but make them really achievable
(35:49):
and simple.
Don't try to do anything tooonerous In the first six months
or a year, and it will grow,because people do have these
needs and they will bepleasantly surprised that
there's this Source of supportthat their company wants to give
them and, as you said you know,more support like that equals
(36:11):
happy employees.
Yeah, 100%.
Activity.
I'm an example of one, Yeah yeah, living and breathing.
It's true, it's absolutely true.
The support does with yourwards in all kinds of ways.
Yeah.
Yeah Well, thank you so much,tim.
Thank you for sharing, asobviously you have a successful
network, so all of your tips,insights, i'm sure resonate with
(36:33):
people who are looking to startup something very similar.
Good luck at this year'sworking dance awards.
Yeah, I'm just crossed.
Yeah, I will see you there, yeah, yeah, and take care and keep
doing the good work and welldone, because it's really
important thing you're doing.
Thank you.
Appreciate it.
I share.
Thanks for kind of connectingand inviting me to come on.
It's been an absolute pleasure.
Thanks, welcome.
(36:53):
Thanks, tim.
Thanks for tuning in to thisepisode of the parent equation
culture shift podcast.
To find out more about me,heads to isha mariecom.
And to find out more aboutElliot, head to music football
fatherhoodcom.
Please remember to like leave arating or review.
Welcome to the Parent Equation Culture Shift podcast with me,
i Shamari.
And me, Eriah Trey, from MusicFootball, Fatherhood.
This podcast is all aboutcelebrating the amazing work
being undertaken by staffnetworks across the country,
individuals dedicated tosupporting their fellow working
parents alongside their day jobs.
(00:24):
Networks who not only offerguidance and inspiration within
their own organisations, but areat the forefront of driving
real change and a systemicculture shift.
So, whether you're alreadyrunning a network or are
thinking about starting one,each episode will give you the
inspiration and tools you needto get started.
So today I'm joined by TimSoper from Aeon.
(00:47):
I am flying solo today, so justme and Tim on the call.
Welcome, tim, thanks for beinghere today.
Pleasure.
Thanks for having me.
So, tim, you are the chair orco-chair of the Parents Network
at Aeon.
Well, neither.
actually, i was kind of a thirdco-chair last year,
specifically co-chair the dadsat Aeon Network, which is a
(01:11):
subgroup of the Parents andCarers Network.
So worked closely with theco-chairs of the Parents and
Carers Network and still do thisyear.
So I've spoken to them before Icame on this call because I
wanted to hear their views abouthow it feels to run a network
(01:32):
alongside their day jobs.
So it's not just my view, it'sother people's as well.
Okay, great, Because we'vetalked to other companies on
this podcast around this sub,how the main Parents and Carers
Network may start and then thesesubgroups do come off that main
one which obviously is great,because it shows that the need
is there and the voices arethere to be heard.
So how did you get involvedwith the dads network then?
(01:54):
So where did that journey startfor you?
Right, so that would have beenin 2021.
So year before last I had along period of depression,
actually.
So, I've told that story lots oftimes.
My daughter stopped talking tome and it went on for a year and
a half in the end But it was agood few months into that and I
(02:17):
was doing a phased return towork and I did a lot of talking
like as a dad two colleaguesabout how I was feeling, etc.
Etc.
And they just because I'dspoken about my story as a dad
so much, two colleagues, andthey were so supportive.
I got contacted by the co-chairof the Parents and Carers
(02:39):
Network at the time saying Tim,we've got this group called Dads
at Aon, which has been not veryactive for a long time and
probably could do with a newco-chair.
Would you be interested?
Yeah, absolutely, likedefinitely.
And so I took that kind of ballby the horns and straight away,
(03:00):
everything I was saying,opening honestly to my
colleagues about my experienceas a dad I just started saying
in there And as a co-chair, thatwas almost like role modelling,
open conversation and rolemodelling, being open about how
you feel.
And it snowballed from there andother people started doing the
(03:23):
same.
So yeah, i mean that's a longanswer to a short question.
No good answer.
Yeah, how would it go then fromwhat sounds like a quite
organic start and conversationsand that sort of safe space of
talk into what I'm assuming isnow a more, i suppose?
is it all structured networknowadays?
It's much bigger now.
So it started off at 40 peopleand it's probably over 130 now.
(03:47):
So it's grown a lot in thattime.
Still plenty of scope to growmore.
When I was co-chair of it lastyear for 12 months well, just
over 12 months you could call it15 months really just started
before 2022 and then through thewhole of 2022.
I then tried to give it somestructure by picking topics to
(04:08):
cover in coffee mornings So wewould do things like postnatal
depression in men, anything youcan think of.
Share parental leave.
We did one.
We had a mum and a dad doing akind of panel discussion about
the kind of their experience ofshare parental leave from either
(04:30):
side of the fence from the mumside and the dad side And that
was interesting for the dads tohear and also interesting for
the dads to hear from theperspective of this might sound
like a scary, complicated policy, but actually here's how you do
it and here's how it works inpractice, sort of thing.
So we tried to give it a bit ofstructure with some topics to
(04:52):
talk about.
We entered the working dadsemployer awards as we started to
grow and it became moresuccessful that way.
So that then also gave itanother, i guess, injection of
pace in its growth publicity,because as soon as you win an
(05:16):
award and you shout about goodpractice, i think it puts a bit
of pressure on the business tolive up to its name even more.
I think that's probably, in anutshell, kind of where we took
it last year and it kind ofwhere it continues to be now.
And I'm channeling Elliot here Imentioned the word governance
because I know he'd ask thisquestion.
(05:38):
Yeah.
From the governance point ofview then, as you've got more
structure, do you have a sort offormalised committee where the
decisions are made, and how doesthat work with executive
sponsorship or kind of seniormanagement?
Well, yeah, the parents andcarers networks always had
senior sponsorship, So there'ssomeone on the exact committee
that sponsors each one of whatwe call our business resource
(06:00):
groups, which is parents andcarers, is one of the mental
health, another one, lgbtq plusanother one, etc.
Etc.
Each of those the E&I strands,if you like have an executive
sponsor.
So we have one and he isfeatured in the video that is
(06:21):
the follow up to us winning theawards last year.
So he's actually on it, so he'sspeaking.
I think just having that namedindividual against the network
gives it immediately somecredibility when people are
talking about can I do somethingto do with the parents network?
Yeah, yeah, and in terms ofgovernance, when you're on the
(06:46):
committee as I still am,although not co-chair, i'm on
the committee you get kind ofhours allowance in your day job
at Aon.
So we certainly in my part ofAon we have to do a certain
number of hours that ischargeable to clients each year
and they let me take some ofthat time out to do stuff which
(07:08):
isn't going to be charged toclients but does help all of our
colleagues and probably ourclients at some point, because
happier people are probablybetter, more productive people.
Well, exactly, i think that'salso a lot of these
conversations that are.
The impact that thesecommittees and these networks
are having on their peopleObviously has a beneficial
positive effects much, muchbroader reaching than just in
(07:29):
those events or in theconversations that having yeah
yeah, it's not to beunderestimated, actually, the
power that these networks have.
Absolutely Well.
Look at me, for example.
I was off work for months.
The fees return the network Idid a personal podcast about my
story, by the way, and I did saythe dads at AL network was a
(07:50):
huge part of my recovery.
So, yes, they on a benefitedhugely from my recovery in that
respect and the support theygave me in the output that I'm
now producing for them, which isWhich is amazing really, i
think yeah they.
How closely then do you get as asubgroup?
Don't know what use the wordsubgroup makes you feel like
(08:12):
it's less important.
Obviously it's not at all as astrand of those of the.
Minutes and Carers network.
Do you get involved, as againas committee, in things to do
with a sort of more as besttransactional part of the
business, like the HR policiesand the conversations around
those kind of things?
Yeah, so we do get a seat at thetable when those sorts of
(08:34):
things are discussed, which isgood because we get to feed into
those conversations.
I wouldn't say we get a seat atthe table every single time,
but it certainly does exist Thatwe have and we have recently On
, changed our snow secret, we'vechanged our policies, so we've
enhanced our paternity leave fordads and we've greatly enhanced
(08:58):
our shared parental leavepolicy.
So so, yeah, so those thingshave been.
Those things were massivelyinfluenced, i think, by the
input from the parents andcarers network in those
discussions because, ultimately,these business resource groups
are a voice to the executive ofthe needs of these people, as
(09:22):
well as the kind of a day to daypeer support thing.
So, yeah, yeah, and you'vereferenced already there a
couple of times the working dadsawards that you entered and
last year, or one of thecategories for and obviously a
part of that, there were otherorganizations there as well,
including John Lewis partnership, etc.
Do you find that, then, as anetwork within a on, you have
(09:44):
the ability to, i suppose, getinvolved with networks outside
of a on in order to, to learn,to inspire, to connect with
other networks?
Yeah, well, part of having hoursto spend is that you can do
that in those hours.
You choose how you use thosehours.
I knew choose.
If you want to do more hours,you know you can do more hours.
(10:04):
You just only get certainallowance towards your time For
the year.
For a man they're not restrict,not saying you can only spend
that amount of time.
So If you've got connectionsthat you want to spend your
parents and carers hours talkingto someone in a different
company, as I did last year,many, especially after the
awards from people that wantedto learn about how to set up a
(10:27):
dad's networks I spoke to JohnLewis, i spoke to Ernest and
young.
I spoke to lots of differentpeople that want to know how to
do it.
How do I do that?
and apparently there'ssomething slightly different,
which is that my the the hoursthat I'll give me now is to
(10:47):
support the insurance familiesnetwork.
So I co chair The insurancefamilies network, which is
essentially an insuranceindustry wide network to support
parents and carers.
So that's my hours allowancefrom a on this year, whilst
remaining on the parents andcarers committee and definitely
as part of that role anddefinitely talking to other
(11:09):
companies about what they'redoing, including a really good
event that we did in Februarythis year with an organization
called from babies with love,and they produce what's called a
cutting edge by to parentalpolicies and practice.
(11:29):
You can Google that and you'llfind that the guide there which
we inputted to, and we sat on apanel with a on Sony music and
William Hill talking about theirpolicies Yeah, so, talking
about their policies andpractices that they do.
I think it was Sony and I'mtrying to get this right, but
for give me if I don't think itwas Sony That had a.
(11:52):
No, it was William Hill thathad a neonatal leave policy.
So, like me, my daughter wasborn two months premature.
They can Again give me if I getthe details wrong, but I think
new parents that have apremature baby can have the
entire time of all paid whilsttheir child is still in hospital
(12:14):
before the due date.
So that's amazing.
Sony can't remember what theirfantastic policy was, but you
have to go and look it up.
But anyway, the events again.
I think it's a result of theawards that we're invited to
present beyond the panel atthese kind of events and listen
to what other companies aredoing.
(12:34):
They're brilliant parents.
Yeah, questions was going to befor those who spoke to other
companies about starting a dancenetwork.
For those listening who arestill at the beginning stages,
what would the steps be?
a part of that you're sayingobviously is just the PR of this
.
The visibility of your networkis helping you have those
(12:57):
conversations with diverse in adiverse range of industries, not
just insurance.
So what would you all Yourfirst steps be?
someone who's who thinksthere's a real need for a
network of dance network orparents and co-host network in
their company, but answer whereto start.
What's a good question and Ialways give the same answer.
But I'm not.
(13:18):
I'm not the gospel truth on.
This is just an opinion, butmost companies these days, at
least in financial services oroffice based companies, and
we're communicating like a teamssetup, microsoft teams or if
(13:40):
you're I don't know, in abuilding firm, you might have
was that or something like thatAll you do is set the group in
there.
It's easy to do, however muchforward This is dat and
publicise the fact that it'savailable, put a few people in,
publicise that it's there andstart talking in it And say this
(14:01):
is a way for us to share commonexperiences and support each
other.
Someone once said to me Tim, youcan speak to as many
counsellors as you like and theyare good what they do.
There's nothing quite likespeaking to someone in the same
situation as yourself or hasbeen through something similar.
(14:21):
So that's almost what I wouldsay in my publicised email.
What I just said then.
That's like I would literallywrite that We care about our
staff.
There's nothing quite liketalking to someone else in the
same situation.
So we're setting up thisnetwork.
It's in WhatsApp or Teams.
Join the space.
You don't have to use it allthe time.
(14:42):
You don't ever have to respondIt's not compulsory but if
you're in there, you might seesomething that you might be able
to help someone else with andyou might want to share
something and get some help.
I think that's things aboutnormalising everything that
parents are going through,regardless of the situational
scenario, where it's nottransactional, it's not
(15:03):
policy-based or real life, it'sreal stories.
Yeah, and once it's started likethat, you can listen to what
people need and you can askquestions about what people need
.
Do you think it would be usefulto have an intranet site for
parents and carers where we canstore stuff?
Yes, okay, then we'll see if wecan get that done.
It might be good if we havesome executive sponsorship for
this group.
What do you think?
Yeah, that's good.
We'll go and speak to the execteams here.
(15:24):
We can get someone's name putto it and it will kind of grow
from there.
But I just think there'snothing to stop anyone setting a
chat, just setting a chat upSmall steps.
Small steps.
I think one of the barriers thatwe've been hearing as well
potential barriers for peoplewho might be wanting to set it
up or get involved is thisfeeling like it might be a
colossal impact on their time.
(15:48):
And again, what I've beenhearing through these
conversations I'd be interestedto get your view on this is
again there's no expectation.
It's not as if you can drop inand drop out.
You can come in, you can leanas much as you need to,
depending on what you need.
It doesn't have to be afull-time commitment from
anybody, actually, becauseeveryone is managing this
alongside their jobs andfamilies and things.
(16:11):
Yeah, and it can go silent for along time And not saying that
Dad's A on Duttus or Parents inCare as it does.
But it could do in theory andin a company just go silent for
a long time And then someonecould remember it's there and
pick it up again.
That's not wrong, that's fine,like.
So yes, if one person isproactive and doing everything
(16:39):
and trying to grow 10 differentideas like creating an intranet
site, enter some awards, do thison LinkedIn, that on LinkedIn
network If someone's putting iton themselves to take all of
that on their own shoulders, ontheir own, then it would be
quite draining.
And to be honest, that was oneof the pitfalls I fell into at
the start of last year was doingso much on my own And someone
(17:02):
had to kind of grab my shouldersand say, tim, you work for a
big company here.
You've got the support of thecomms team, you've got the
support of other people on thecommittee.
You can spread the load alittle bit.
So I think yeah, i mean todrive it forward with a bit of
purpose.
I think you would want ahandful of people and spread
(17:23):
things between those handful ofpeople, at least to start with.
I say handful because itprobably makes decisions a bit
easier.
But, like you say, if youdidn't have that and no one was
driving it forward and it wentsilent, you did a few weeks of
conversation, it went silent fora year and then took off.
(17:43):
you still set it up in thefirst place and that wouldn't
have then taken off in a year'stime had you not done that.
Yeah, wise words.
What are you most proud of aspart of that network?
I'd have to say accepting theaward in Parliament was a big
(18:04):
deal, i think, but really mypride isn't accepting the award,
like when I think about whatI'm proud of.
I once did an event onInternational Wednesday and
there were kind of 300 people inthe audience.
It was International Wednesdayin 2021 about mental health, and
(18:25):
I was talking about connectionswith male friends as a form of
support and a healthy thing tohave as a man.
It's 300 people in the audienceand one person connected with me
afterwards Well, more than oneactually, but one in particular
I'll never forget.
I won't go into the detail ofwhat they said, but I know for a
(18:47):
fact they helped that oneperson.
So I think what I'm trying tosay is what I'm most proud of.
I know in the last 18 months totwo years that I've helped or
dad's, the A on the group hashelped I don't know 10s,
hundreds of people, and I thinkthat's the real pride knowing
(19:13):
the impact you've had on atleast one person's life.
Yeah, the awards are nice Andbut you know, when I'm saying
I'm proud to collect an award,what I'm really proud about is
to be able to shout about it infront of a lot of people and
hopefully they can do the samething.
So I'm proud about, i think,the impact that hopefully I've
(19:34):
had on men and dads in and outof A on in the last 18 months,
which I think it has.
Yeah, I think, as you say, asyou said before, it's that
ripple effect just helpingadding value to just one person
will create a ripple effectbeyond that one person.
So it's feeling confident thateverything you're doing is
(19:57):
ultimately having a lot morevalue than it may even seem like
when you're doing it.
Yeah, yeah.
And then from a practical pointof view, things like because
running these networks, apartfrom time your time, other
people's time potentially couldinvolve money, depending on what
you want to do with thesenetworks and what events you
want to put on.
Do you get any budget for thiskind of thing?
(20:19):
Do you have to, i suppose,pitch for budget?
How does it work?
Yeah, so we do have.
So we get a standard.
I think at A on it might be afew thousand or something like
that of that order of magnitudeof money each year to do what we
want, to make a plan and use.
That could be charity donations, it could be running events, it
(20:45):
could be anything really that'shelpful for parents and carers
or to send a message.
We did a supporting workingdads event at the start of in
April 2022, we recorded it.
It's online.
It's going to be released againsoon on the Insurance Families
Network website.
But that event Elliot Ray tookpart in and hosted, and so
(21:12):
Elliot costed money, and so we,i think, managed to team up with
the Insurance Families Networkfor that particular event, but A
on would pay for the room andhost the room host the event and
things.
So they're quite happy to dohosting of things on top of the
pot of money, and we've alwaysgot the opportunity to pitch for
(21:34):
more if we need it.
So yeah, what do you think makesa successful event in the sense
of getting, i suppose not justat the running the event,
obviously, but getting theinterest from, especially, maybe
more from, the dads in A on,but getting the interest getting
the word out there, i thinkbecause you've run a few.
Are there any kind of creativeways of getting more visibility?
(21:59):
And also, as you've alluded tohybrid working et cetera, how to
make sure that the most peoplecan access this kind of thing,
even if they're not necessarilyin an office with access to a
laptop or face to face?
My top tips, having done a fewevents and also seeing the kind
of aftermath after the event, isthat you need an engaging event
(22:22):
which probably lasts half anhour to an hour, so that people
are engaged on the day.
You then need a good follow-upplan.
We did this.
You need to record it, i think,because people might not have
been able to make it on the dayand it's a permanent resource if
you record it.
So get people's permission andrecord it.
(22:45):
Top tip if it's like half anhour or an hour long, that might
put people off listening to it.
So what we try to do I haven'treleased it yet, but what we are
going to try to do with thatsupporting Working Dads event is
almost chapterize it and chopit up into videos that are maybe
two or three minutes long,where the discussion focused on
a particular topic as part ofthe wider thing, so that I think
(23:11):
sort of a bite-sized follow-up.
We did this event on this dayand here's three minutes on this
.
That is impactful, yeah, yeah.
I think that's probably what Iwould say for events is yeah,
record them and share them wellafterwards, and if you can make
them bite-size, do that.
(23:35):
And where do you think thefuture of the Dads network goes,
and what's your aspirations forhow it?
grows and evolves.
We've got 5,000 employees.
So I know 130 is a lot morethan we started with at 40, but
it's nowhere near the number ofdads or allies of dads, because
it's not just for dads.
Yeah, dads or allies of dads inthe business could be more.
(23:58):
So I just want to see thisnoble continue to grow.
We, after the awards, we gotsome feedback last year on what
we could do better to, and someof that was on publicity.
So we've seen in the kitchens,here in the offices now they've
(24:18):
got screens and they put thingsup on the screens like an
advertising board, and we had ahave you heard about the Parents
and Carers Network and had a QRcode like you could scan on
your phone and it would take youstraight to the thing.
So, yeah, i'd like to see itgrow through additional
(24:40):
publicity.
To be honest, in terms of whatis here, what dads at Aon is,
i'm not really sure it can getany better than it is because
it's so open in there.
One thing we have looked intoand I'd like to see grow is, you
know, i think it's a little bitmore of a not just the teams
(25:01):
aspect, but some in person, somaybe a sort of dad mentoring
scheme.
So let's say you have let's sayyou've got a bunch of dads in
your business that are dads offive and six year olds, or dads
of nine, 10, 11 year olds, oreven dads of teenagers.
And then you've got anothergroup who are just about to
become dads, or brand new dads.
(25:21):
Could they be paired up with alonger in the tooth dad or a
more experienced dad for someface-to-face?
because a lot of the feedbackwe get is could we have some
more face-to-face and could itbe less group and more
one-on-one?
so I wouldn't mind doing that.
I think almost a coachingmental space.
(25:44):
Yeah, and that might be a spaceor it might just be.
You're paired up and thenyou've got an individual chat
with that person.
But the dad-to-aon group stillexists as a group and events and
coffee mornings still happensin groups and virtually.
But could you get somethingmore in person and local office
level?
go in, even if it's like a daddrink on a Friday afternoon or
(26:07):
for a group of dad, likeanything bit more in person, i
think would be good.
Yeah, then, with regards thatyou talked about the parents and
carers network being separateor linked, obviously, but kept
to the dad's network, No, so thedad's network is inside the
parents and carers network.
So the team space is calledparents and carers network and
(26:30):
then within the team's space youcan have mini spaces if you
like.
So there's one for new parents,there's one for dad-to-aon,
there's one for neurodiversity.
So parents of children withkind of ADHD accept and that
sort of thing, all the thingsthat would put you in a common
(26:51):
interest group really.
And if we notice a pool ofpeople discussing a certain
issue, then we suggest having aspecific space for that issue.
Dads is obviously a natural one,because dads exist everywhere
and always when it comes tobeing a parent.
So it's made sense to just havea dad-to-aon.
(27:16):
There isn't a mom's a on chat,but maybe there.
Maybe there should be, but itwas.
I think the feeling was, or isit the assumption you should
assume the mums would be activein the parents and carers
general discussion group anyway.
So, if you like, that wouldlargely be a mom's group,
(27:39):
although everyone's in it butthe dads at Aon.
I think just the label it gaveit more of a, more of a
permission for dads to talk inthat space, i guess.
Yeah, i think, i think alright,i think it's an assumption, but
I think it's probably the rightassumption that and again I'm
sort of trying to think whatElliot would say here is that
it's probably more of a barrierfor the dads to feel that they
(28:01):
can speak up in the safe space,so creating a group just for
them enables that to happenprobably more easily than if
they're part of a wider group.
I think that's true in whatpeople have been saying to us.
And I call it.
I call it the unsung things ofparents and caring, right?
so I think carers as a wholeare completely unsung, as in
(28:25):
nobody talks in the office abouttheir stresses and strains
about being a carer of theelderly.
Historically, dads wouldn't betalking about how it feels to be
a parent The unsung things.
So you tend to have a chat toencourage the discussion about
the unsung things.
So there's a carers chat inthere, there is a parental leave
(28:46):
chat, there is a dads chat,there is a neurodiversity chat
which helps those things startto get talked to by.
We have a phrase that Elliottold me once and he uses all the
time parent out loud, and weexpanded that on to say caring
out loud, so which covers allbases, really do it out loud.
(29:07):
And you know, yes, those unsungthings which really cause
people a lot of pain and theyend up struggling alone unless
you talk about it, unless youask them about it.
I think it goes back to yourpoint of just you just start it.
So start a chat, however smallit might feel when a platform is
right, and then, with the Aonexample, these subgroups come
(29:32):
out of that organically.
Because of the conversationspeople are having Yes, and you,
everyone's aware of thoseconversations, everyone's
listening or hearing thoseconversations.
Then you can say, well, thisneeds a group of its own and
that becomes something in itsown right.
Yeah, because you know you mightget someone in the dads at Aon
saying something about sharedparental leave and I say, ah,
(29:54):
we've actually got an entireshared parental leave chat.
If you want to go into that oneyou can ask all your questions,
because there'll be people whohave done it before, people that
want to know the answers, andthat saves, i guess, the hundred
dads in the dads chat thataren't interested in shared
parental leave at that moment intime, seeing all the detail of
that.
(30:14):
But they know where to go ifthey are interested.
So it can make the chat a bitmore efficient in a way and help
meet people's people's needs abit more efficiently.
Yeah, i think you listen tofeedback, aren't you?
so it's just natural feedback.
That's there.
Yeah, it's not.
It doesn't feel like that.
I suppose maybe it does,because we're obviously running
(30:34):
these things, but I feel likethe onus has taken off you a bit
because you would listen towhat we will need and it's
happening organically.
Yeah rather than feel like youhave to have a plan structure to
get these things underway.
But leads me to anotherquestion how planned and
structured are you in these?
committees and networks.
Well, we try and have an annualplan at the start of the year.
(30:59):
So we want to have a kind of acalendar of awareness days and
weeks and things, things likeInternational Women's Day,
international Men's Day, carersWeek, all the things that are
publicised.
We want to have a calendar ofthat and we also and as a
committee we kind of have astart of year meeting to say
(31:21):
what is the plan for the yearand what are we going to try and
do when We have newsletters aswell, quarterly, that are issued
to the members of the parentsand carers.
So you know, part of being isthe chat.
An extension of the basicWhatsApp or Teams chat would be
to have then an emailing listfor things to be sent to.
(31:43):
Probably most companies arelike Aon would say you can't
just willy-nilly email what youlike to everybody in the company
, so by people joining thesegroups almost gives permission
to receive the stuff that youwant to produce.
So, yeah, so we do have aplanning meeting at the start of
(32:07):
the year.
There are committee, regularcommittee meetings during the
year to touch base on how we'redoing and to talk about any new
ideas.
In the insurance familiesnetwork we do something the same
, probably a bit more formal.
We come up with a mission youknow what we want to achieve Or
(32:29):
actually, in the insurancefamilies network, aligning that
to United Nations sustainabilitygoals.
So things like gender equalityand equal opportunities for all
Make sense for us as an industrynetwork to try and tie in what
we're doing for parents andcarers and mums and dads With
(32:53):
those goals.
So, yeah, we're even morestructured with our planning and
objectives in the industry-widegroup.
Yeah, that's like you'd alsoadvise them to again.
People who might be thinkingabout doing this is structure
helps.
I think so structure helps.
It is difficult on top your dayjob, so you want to try and
give it a structure, withoutpressure, because Might be that
(33:16):
people haven't had time but itdoesn't mean that they won't in
the next quarter or the nextmonth.
So I think it's good alwaysgood to her purse, isn't it?
set your purpose and then trackhow you're going through the
year.
But don't you know if you'reworried about achieving it.
Then set, set something up, setthe bar a bit lower, you know,
don't.
Don't set monthly events, forexample, as your target.
(33:38):
Set Six monthly, to start withYeah.
Yeah, and you'll watch it growand you'll is more people join
You might, your committee mightgrow, and then you've got more
hands on deck to make nextyear's plan a little bit bigger.
And easier.
Yeah, you guys as an individualcontributor.
(34:00):
Yeah, yeah, definitelyDefinitely.
So, before we wrap up today,then, tim, what is your?
and the top tips, insights.
Closing remarks again foranyone who might need a bit of
Support and getting these thingsup and running.
Okay, well, find someone elsewho wants to be involved as well
(34:21):
.
So it's not just one personstarting it.
You know three, four, five, sixpeople Form the group that way
and start having conversationsand see I feel as a small group
and then Tell everybody about asuccess story for the last month
We've set this group up.
It's been going really well.
Do you want to join?
so that would be, i Think, mytip number one.
(34:46):
Number two would be Beinclusive.
So if you know, well, for astart, make sure you've got dads
in there as well as mums, likethat's one inclusive thing.
So men and women.
But if you know anyone who's ina special situation, like in
(35:07):
the same sex couple, for example, and they've Adopted a child or
they've gone through seragacyprocess, like that would be a
good person to have in there fora completely different
perspective.
So, and if you've got frompeople from different ethnic
backgrounds, like, just make itas diverse as you can in, like
(35:28):
with anything, you'll have abetter outcome because you'll
have a better range of thinking.
So that's top tip Number two.
I guess top tip number three isTry not to shoot the lights out
on day one.
So Make think, make your plans,but make them really achievable
(35:49):
and simple.
Don't try to do anything tooonerous In the first six months
or a year, and it will grow,because people do have these
needs and they will bepleasantly surprised that
there's this Source of supportthat their company wants to give
them and, as you said you know,more support like that equals
(36:11):
happy employees.
Yeah, 100%.
Activity.
I'm an example of one, Yeah yeah, living and breathing.
It's true, it's absolutely true.
The support does with yourwards in all kinds of ways.
Yeah.
Yeah Well, thank you so much,tim.
Thank you for sharing, asobviously you have a successful
network, so all of your tips,insights, i'm sure resonate with
(36:33):
people who are looking to startup something very similar.
Good luck at this year'sworking dance awards.
Yeah, I'm just crossed.
Yeah, I will see you there, yeah, yeah, and take care and keep
doing the good work and welldone, because it's really
important thing you're doing.
Thank you.
Appreciate it.
I share.
Thanks for kind of connectingand inviting me to come on.
It's been an absolute pleasure.
Thanks, welcome.
(36:53):
Thanks, tim.
Thanks for tuning in to thisepisode of the parent equation
culture shift podcast.
To find out more about me,heads to isha mariecom.
And to find out more aboutElliot, head to music football
fatherhoodcom.
Please remember to like leave arating or review.
Popular Podcasts
New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!