November 26, 2024 • 27 mins
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Can the holiday season be a catalyst for change? Discover a perspective that challenges the conventional wisdom of delaying recovery efforts for loved ones struggling with addiction. This episode sheds light on the misconception that suicide rates skyrocket during the holidays—while depression does increase, suicides do not. You'll learn why prioritizing recovery over traditional holiday gatherings could be the gift that keeps on giving, turning this festive time into an opportunity for positive transformation. We invite you to explore the emotional and psychological benefits that can far outweigh the temporary loss of family moments.
As families face the daunting decision of choosing health over holiday traditions, overcoming fear and codependency becomes essential. We talk about the delicate balance needed to support a loved one's journey to sobriety. Therapists, often more equipped with specialized training than physicians, offer a viable route for families seeking help. You'll gain insights into the systemic barriers doctors face, such as the lack of institutional support despite addiction being a recognized medical disease.
As 2024 approaches, we emphasize the urgency of seeking timely intervention amidst a critical shortage of treatment options. With 49 million Americans meeting criteria for a substance use disorder diagnosis and only 13 million receiving help, timely action is crucial. We explore the unmet promises of state-funded programs like Oregon's Medicaid system, urging families to act now. Let this holiday season be a time of renewal and potential, setting the stage for a brighter 2025. Thank you for your continued support—your ratings and reviews help us spread this vital message far and wide.
Join us Every Sunday at 8:00 PM PST and Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday Night at 8:00 PM EST/5:00PST for a FREE family support group. Register at the following link to get the zoom information sent to you: Family Support Meeting
About our sponsor(s):
Intervention on Call is on online platform that allows families and support systems to get immediate coaching and direction from a professional interventionist. While a professional intervention can be a powerful experience for change, not every family needs a professionally led intervention. For families who either don't need or can't afford a professional intervention, we can help. Hour sessions are $150.
Therapy is a very important way to take care of your mental health. This can happen from the comfort of your own home or office. If you need therapy and want to get a discount on your first month of services please try Better Help.
If you want to know more about the host's private practice please visit:
Matt Brown: Freedom Interventions
Follow the host on TikTok
Matt: @mattbrowninterventionist
If you have a question that we can answer on the show, please email us at matt@partywreckers.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Party Wreckers podcast, hosted by
seasoned addictioninterventionist, Matt Brown.
This is a podcast for familiesor individuals with loved ones
who are struggling withaddiction or alcoholism.
(00:22):
Perhaps they are reluctant toget the help that they need.
We are here to educate andentertain you while removing the
fear from the conversation.
Stick with us and we will getyou through it.
Welcome the original partywrecker, Matt Brown.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Welcome back everybody.
My name is Matt Brown.
I am your host.
I am so glad to be here withyou.
I'm glad you've decided tolisten in.
Today.
This is the week ofThanksgiving 2024.
And there are some things Ithink that are important to talk
(01:11):
about.
During this time of year, a lotof families are going to be
getting together and for somefamilies, that's a more
difficult situation than it isfor others.
I also think there's a lot ofmyths floating around there
about what happens during theholidays in terms of depression,
in terms of increase inself-harm and suicide rates.
So I want to really dive intosome of that tonight, not to be
(01:33):
pessimistic and not tonecessarily make this a
difficult episode to listen to.
My hope would be is that wetalk about this, we take away
some of the fear that sometimessurrounds the holidays for
families that are strugglingwith addiction and really
empower you as families to lookat this time of year differently
than I think a lot of people do.
As an interventionist, this isthe time of year that I really
(01:57):
start to get slow.
No one wants to send theirloved one to treatment from
about the end of Halloween as weget into November and people
start ramping up for theholidays.
And then Christmas comesDecember 25th and then my
busiest week for phone callsevery single year is December
26th through New Year's, and Ithink the reason for that is
(02:20):
just because nobody wants tohave their loved one go into
treatment before the holidays,or they think that their loved
one go into treatment before theholidays, or they think that
their loved one would beresistant to the idea of getting
into treatment because they'llmiss the holidays.
But of course nobody wantstheir alcoholic or addicted
loved one around for the NewYear's Eve parties, and so
that's a time of year that Ithink things for us in this
field start to get a little bitbusy.
(02:42):
But one of the things that Ithink families get most
concerned about and I hear thisa lot, especially during this
time of year is that suiciderates go up during the holidays,
and as I was doing a little bitof research for this episode, I
found that that's actually nottrue.
I went and did a number ofdifferent searches on what does
(03:06):
the increase in self-harm andsuicide rates look like during
the holidays, and in almostevery search that I did with a
combination of differentkeywords, what I found was that
there is actually not anincrease in the rates of suicide
and self-harm during theholidays.
There's an increase in therates of depression, but the
(03:26):
time of year that actually hasthe most significant increase in
suicide is actually spring andsummer, and the age group that's
most affected by changes in theI don't know if it's changes in
the season, but the mostat-risk age group and gender
(03:48):
group for suicide is men overthe age of 65.
And so for most of the peoplethat I work with, most drug
addicts and alcoholics don'tsurvive to 65 in the first place
if they continue on an activeaddiction or alcoholism.
So that kind of weeds out thatage group immediately from the
population that we're talkingabout here right now.
(04:09):
According to the AmericanPsychological Association,
there's about a 38% increase inthe rates of depression during
the holidays, in November andDecember, versus other times
during the year, but thatdoesn't necessarily correlate to
an increase in the rates ofsuicide, and so I think that a
(04:29):
lot of families get worriedabout.
Well, we don't want tointervene or we don't want to
have our loved one go totreatment because we're taking
them away from our family duringthe holidays, or we're asking
them to sacrifice time withtheir families, times with their
kids or with brothers andsisters or parents, loved ones.
(04:49):
We don't want to ask them tosacrifice that because there's
an increased chance that they'regoing to become depressed or
there's going to be apsychological effect that's
negative in addition to going totreatment.
The reality is not getting helpis going to have a much more
profound psychological andemotional effect than asking
(05:13):
somebody to go and actuallyimprove that condition by
getting treatment, even if itmeans spending time away from
family.
Because here's the reality ofit, and I'm looking at examples
from my own life as I talk aboutthis as well One of the last
Christmases that I celebratedwith my family before getting
sober, this was probably when Iwas about 28, 27 years old.
(05:35):
My siblings I'm the oldest ofsix kids in my family we were
back home in my family home inArizona where I grew up, and I
remember everybody kind ofopening presents and you know
some of my siblings had kidsalready and you know the
grandkids went first and theyopened presents and then some of
my siblings started openpresents and you know, of course
, me being the selfish andself-centered individual that I
(05:58):
was at the time, I'm kind oflooking around going, huh, where
are all my presents?
And, and there at the end, um,my dad reaches behind the
Christmas tree and pulls out onepresent for me and I'm the
oldest, I'm 27, 28 years old atthis point and I open it up and
it's a football.
Um, and you know, here I wasthinking, wow, what a letdown.
(06:24):
You know, my, my parents, asparents as a grown man, got me a
football for Christmas.
And the reality is I've neveractually spoken to them about
this, but I can only imaginethat they were trying to show me
that they didn't forget aboutme.
(06:44):
They were absolutely thinkingabout me during the holidays,
but they also didn't want to getme something that was expensive
, that I could go pawn or hawkand then use that money to buy
drugs.
Because they knew exactly whatwas going on with me at that
time.
They didn't know the extent ofit, they didn't know all the
details, thank goodness but theyknew enough to know that if
they got me anything of value,that it was going to end up
(07:04):
getting pawned, it was going toend up getting sold off and I
was going to use that money toprocure drugs and alcohol.
And so they did the best theycould at the time and they got
me a football and it stands outas a memory to me because I know
now, looking back, as angry asI was at the time, feeling like
man, what a bunch of cheapskates.
Everybody else got something.
They were protecting me frommyself at the time and as I work
(07:31):
with families now, sometimes Iwill share that story, because
there's this sense of almostfantasy that surrounds families
and I include my own family inthis, when it was me in this
situation.
Families want to hold onto thisidea that maybe somehow this
(07:52):
will still be a good experience.
Maybe somehow just being aroundfamily will allow our loved one
to connect with the fact thatthere's something bigger to be a
part of here that they'remissing out by not living a
sober life and maybe just bybeing present at family
functions we can have an effectin a positive way on what's
(08:13):
going on.
And more times than not, whatends up happening is the
individual arrives late.
If they arrive at all, theyarrive impaired on some level,
level because of the behaviorthat surrounds addiction.
(08:34):
We create distractions, whetherit's conflict, whether it's
impaired behavior, intoxicatedbehavior.
We will without beingintentional about it, but we
will distract from the occasionand in most cases, it ends up
being frustrating for the familymembers that aren't living in
active addiction, but are livingwith active addiction, and it
creates resentment and itcreates hurt and it creates
(08:56):
memories that would have betternot been made in the first place
.
And so I guess, as I'm talkingabout this, I want to encourage
families that are on the fence.
Do we try to ask our loved oneto get help right now, or do we
wait until after the holidays todo this?
I want to encourage everybodywho's listening to this right
(09:19):
now to really consider notwaiting, because the reality is
we're dealing with a fataldisease here.
We're dealing with somethingthat, given a long enough
timeline, it will take the lifeof every single person who goes
down this road, or it will takethe freedom away from every
single person that goes downthis road.
It will land us in jail, itwill land us in prison, it will
(09:41):
land us in medical compromise,it'll end relationships, it'll
destroy relationships betweenparents and children and spouses
and loved ones, and there'snothing positive that comes from
waiting.
If someone needs help, I thinksometimes, as loved ones who may
(10:08):
err on the side of codependencyand I include myself in that
because I've been there, we willgive ourselves a number of
reasons as to why now is not agood time.
Well, I don't want to take thisopportunity away from them or I
don't want this to be thememory that they associate with
Christmas or with Thanksgivingand sending the message as a
(10:30):
family, in a very loving way, toreally be able to say we care
more about your health and yourhappiness than we care about you
spending Christmas here with usthis year or we spend you being
here in Thanksgiving with usthis year.
We want to salvage everyChristmas and Thanksgiving that
is yet to happen, and we'rewilling to sacrifice the one
(10:52):
that's happening this year in2024 to make sure that we get
all the future ones that wepossibly can have with you and
that those memories are aswonderful as we hope that they
will be.
Because you've decided to getsober and because, as a family,
we have decided to rally aroundyou and help you make this
decision, to get the help thatyou need.
(11:13):
We want to see you happy, wewant to see you healthy and, as
a family, we are no longerwilling to walk in fear because
we are trying to avoid conflictor we are trying to avoid what
happens in relationships whenfeelings get hurt or we are
trying to avoid what happens inrelationships when feelings get
hurt and the minute that, asfamily members, we can allow
(11:35):
that fear to, we can disarm,that, we can take away the
weapon that sometimes fear getsused as and it can lose its
power and we can, in a lovingway, approach that loved one and
say we care too much about youto be quiet anymore, and there's
never a good time to do this,but right now is the best time
(11:57):
to do this.
If you guys understand mymeaning and as, as you
contemplate this, there are anumber of different ways that
families can go about gettinghelp, and that's the other thing
that I was thinking about as Iwas preparing for this episode
is where do most families startwhen they start looking at, okay
(12:20):
, how do we get our loved onehelp?
There's really two avenues thatI think a lot of families will
look at first as kind of thefront lines, and the first one
would be a therapist or apsychiatrist.
I think that a lot of times,and rightly so, families will
look at this and say, well, ifwe can just get them into
therapy, maybe that will helpthem start to turn the corner,
(12:41):
and I think that that's a betteralternative than the other one
that I'll start to talk abouthere in just a minute.
I think that most therapistshave a much more significant
amount of training when it comesto addiction recovery and
certainly mental health wellness, than physicians, and that's
the other group I think thatfamilies will turn to when it
(13:02):
comes to okay, what do we do?
Because addiction is a medicaldisease.
I believe that it's a medicaldisease, it's certainly in the
DSM-5, and it has beencategorized as a medical illness
for years, for decadesInstitute on Drug Abuse, nida,
(13:22):
and if you guys want toreference this study, this
article, the title of it isDoctors Reluctant to Treat
Addiction Most Commonly ReportLack of Institutional Support as
Barrier.
So I was really looking at okay, what keeps doctors in
(13:45):
particular from being able totreat addiction more effectively
?
If we look at this as a medicalissue, the frontline medical
providers, the familypractitioners, the internal
medicine docs what tools do theylack to be able to treat this
more effectively?
And so what this article talksabout is over the course of the
(14:09):
last 61 years, they pulled from283 studies, and we're talking
about data that has beencollected from about 66,000
doctors over the course of 61years Now the number of studies
that were done, about 97% ofthem have been done since 2000.
(14:30):
So you know, the first 41 yearsof that, or 40 years of that,
there wasn't a whole lot ofresearch or studies done on
addiction compared to what'sbeen done in the last 24 years.
But of the doctors that weresurveyed, those 66,000 doctors,
what they found most commonlythe number one reason that was
(14:52):
cited and this is coming from81% of the studies that were
done.
Out of these 283 studies, 81%of them cited that the biggest
reason that doctors didn't feellike they could treat addiction
in their office setting or inthe medical setting that they
practiced in, whether that was amedical group or a hospital,
(15:14):
81% of them reporting lack ofinstitutional support.
And what that means is,according to what I read here,
institutional environment refersto factors like lack of support
from physicians, institution oremployer, insufficient
resources such as staff andtraining, challenges in
(15:35):
organizational culture andcompeting demands.
So those were the reasons citedwhen they talk about, or the
detail that was cited when theytalk about, lack of
institutional support.
I think again, as I readbetween the lines there, what
I'm reading is there's a lack offunding, whether it's in a
hospital environment, whetherit's in a medical group, that
(15:59):
there was just a lack of profitto be made in treating addiction
recovery.
Now the next two most commonlycited reasons why doctors were
reluctant to treat addiction 74%cited lack of cognitive
(16:19):
capacity to manage a certainlevel of care, so it was too
demanding on their mentalabilities to treat addiction.
And 72% reported inadequateknowledge, so they didn't
understand addiction well enoughto be able to effectively treat
(16:40):
it.
To me, that was astounding thathere are our frontline
providers.
These are medical doctorstreating a medical disease, and
72% of them cited a lack ofknowledge as one of the reasons
why they didn't treat addictionin their office settings or in
their clinic settings.
Around 66% of the studies citednegative social influence or
(17:03):
beliefs about public orcommunity acceptance of
addiction care.
So this stigma around addiction,that addiction has this moral
component to it.
Around addiction, thataddiction has this moral
component to it that it's notnecessarily viewed as a medical
disease like diabetes or canceror some other chronic illness.
There's a negative stigma thatsurrounds it.
(17:26):
How do they put it?
Negative social influences,negative social influences.
And so when you look at this,this is really where I think
doctors as a whole lack theknowledge, the support in their
own environments to be able totreat addiction effectively.
(17:49):
And so you get what we have nowin this country, which I think,
to be quite frank, is very,very effective, and that is
treatment facilities where youhave specialized facilities
where people can go and findhelp for whether it's an
outpatient program where they'regoing several times a week,
(18:12):
whether it's an inpatientprogram where they're going for
30 days, 60 days, 90 days orlonger and getting very
specialized care, dual diagnosiscare for the co-occurrence of
mental health issues along withsubstance use issues.
This is where I think a lot ofpeople look at this and say, oh
(18:32):
well, you know this is just amoney grab, or you know
treatment centers are chargingway too much for this.
The reality is, when you lookat it purely from an economic
standpoint, demand far outweighssupply when it comes to this.
According to a 2022 study, therewere 49 million people in the
(18:55):
United States that met thecriteria to be diagnosed with
substance use disorder oralcohol use disorder.
49 million Around 13 millionreceived help within the
previous year.
So when they surveyed thesepeople in 2022, one of the
(19:34):
questions that they ask is inthe previous year have you
received any kind of treatmentfor substance use?
And that was a very, very broadrange.
It didn't have to be inpatient.
It could be therapy, it couldbe medication-assisted treatment
, which didn't necessarilyrequire people to receive
clinical services like therapyor counseling.
So 13 million out of 49 millionpeople received help in the
previous year.
So you're looking at a systemthat can't handle the demand,
(19:55):
quite frankly, and especiallywhen you're looking at a system
like we have here in Oregonthat's state-funded.
Oregon has a very robustMedicaid system, more so than
most states that I have found.
The problem is and I don't wantto make this political and I'm
not intending to make thispolitical but Oregon is one of
(20:17):
the states very early on in theprocess that legalized
recreational use of marijuana.
One of the promises that wasmade in order to get this
legislation passed is that theywere going to use some of the
tax revenue to create moretreatment opportunities for
people to get help here inOregon.
That did not happen, certainlynot to the degree that those
(20:40):
that were pushing thislegislation had promised, and so
what we have now is a demandthat far outweighs the supply
when it comes to people'sability to get help and the
availability of good qualityresources for people to receive
that help, and so, again, thisis just another reason why I
(21:01):
think families really need toconsider not waiting.
There are people that need help,and it may be your loved one
here that I'm talking about.
There are people that need help, and it may be your loved one
here that I'm talking about.
There are people that need help, and while most of the time,
especially in privately runfacilities, availability
(21:21):
generally isn't the problem,when you have a private
insurance policy or heavenforbid you're paying out of
pocket to go to treatment,there's generally going to be
availability If you're workingwith Medicaid, or I've had a
couple of cases in the lastcouple of years where somebody
over 65 was using Medicare to beable to get into treatment.
(21:41):
There are some facilities outthere that take Medicare for
those that are on Medicare overthe age of 62 or 65, depending
on when you start getting it,but most of the time we're
talking Medicaid, which is whichis state funded treatment, and
the those beds are in shortsupply.
They really are, and the otherthing about that is that most
(22:02):
facilities that take Medicaidbecause of the high demand,
their tolerance for in adherenceto rules or lack of compliance
or lack of participation in theprogram is very, very low.
They don't have a whole lot oftolerance for that at all, and
so what'll happen is people gointo treatment and they push
(22:22):
back and they don't want to bethere.
The staff members at programsthat are state funded typically
they know that there are peopleout there that want to have that
spot that that person isoccupying, who may not
necessarily be taking fulladvantage of it, and so they'll
discharge that person and makeroom for somebody else to come
in.
If that person isn't showingthe commitment that they feel
(22:45):
like they need to show, um,they'll, they'll remove that
person from the program andbring somebody else in who's
willing.
And I get it.
I do.
I understand why, but we'reworking in a system that
obviously needs some revision,it needs some improvement.
(23:06):
But I say all of this to reallyreinforce the idea that there's
no value in waiting and thereare resources out there.
I know I just got done talkingabout the lack of resources and
the lack of availability.
I think that a lot of timespeople just don't know where to
(23:28):
look.
There's a number that just cameout this year and most people
refer to it as the suicidehotline, the suicide prevention
hotline.
It's 988.
It's not just for suicideprevention, it's not just for
that kind of crisis.
It is a general crisis hotlineand it is for people who are
(23:48):
family members of someone who'sstruggling.
It is for people who arelooking for resources for
somebody who's struggling,whether it's with a mental
health issue or an addictionissue.
All you have to do is pick upthe phone, dial 988.
And somebody on the other endof that line can help you find
resources, if that's what youneed.
Another is a website calledfindtreatmentgov and it's a
(24:10):
website where, in your area,especially if you are needing to
use Medicaid or Medicare tofind a state funded facility,
you go to find treatmentgov andyou will be able to find a list
of treatment providers in yourarea that will take Medicaid,
(24:49):
no-transcript.
I've put clients in treatmentprograms all over the country.
I have relationships, notfinancial relationships, of
course.
I don't have financialrelationships with treatment
programs, but I do have goodworking relationships with
treatment providers.
And if families have acombination of insurance and
(25:12):
private funds, or if a familysays, hey, we don't have
insurance, but we've got this inour budget, we can afford to
pay this for treatment.
What can I do to make this work?
Many, many times?
Myself or other people in myprofession can help to email me
at matt at partyrecordscom.
(25:34):
I am more than happy to take alook and see what I can do to
help you find resources,especially during this time of
year.
Like I said, this is generallya slower period of time and I've
got more time to dedicate tohelping with things like this.
I know treatment centers theircensuses tend to drop during
this time of year, and sothere's more availability of
beds in private facilities.
(25:55):
So I want to make sure thateverybody understands that there
are resources available, eventhough I've been a little bit
pessimistic about this and someof the things that I've said
today.
There are resources out there.
It's just a matter of makingsure you get connected with the
right people and find what youneed people and find what you
(26:16):
need.
The kind of questions that Iwould ask you if you were to
reach out to me is provide mewith their age, their gender.
If they do have a mental healthdiagnosis, how long is their
addiction history?
What does that look like?
Have they had previous attemptsto get sober before?
Have they been to treatmentbefore and, if so, what did that
look like?
That'll help me narrow downsome things on my end to help
(26:37):
you find the right resources.
So, in conclusion, guys, I justwant to encourage you to not
wait until the end of theholiday season.
This is a wonderful time ofyear for somebody to start over
and look at a new start as theyenter into 2025.
We can put 2024 to rest as ayear where somebody gets sober
(26:59):
and somebody does the hard workto make 2025 the best year ever,
and I appreciate you guyslistening to this.
If there's anything that I cando to be of assistance to you
again, the email address is mattat partyrecordscom.
I look forward to hearing fromyou.
I hope you guys have awonderful wonderful holiday
(27:20):
season.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Thanks again for listening to the Party Wreckers.
If you liked what you heard,please leave us a rating and a
review.
This helps us get the word outto more people, to learn more or
to ask us a question we cananswer in a future episode.
Please visit us atPartyWreckerscom and remember
(27:43):
don't enable addiction ever.
On behalf of the Party WreckersMatt Brown and Sam Davis.
Let's talk again soon.
Welcome to the Party Wreckers podcast, hosted by
seasoned addictioninterventionist, Matt Brown.
This is a podcast for familiesor individuals with loved ones
who are struggling withaddiction or alcoholism.
(00:22):
Perhaps they are reluctant toget the help that they need.
We are here to educate andentertain you while removing the
fear from the conversation.
Stick with us and we will getyou through it.
Welcome the original partywrecker, Matt Brown.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Welcome back everybody.
My name is Matt Brown.
I am your host.
I am so glad to be here withyou.
I'm glad you've decided tolisten in.
Today.
This is the week ofThanksgiving 2024.
And there are some things Ithink that are important to talk
(01:11):
about.
During this time of year, a lotof families are going to be
getting together and for somefamilies, that's a more
difficult situation than it isfor others.
I also think there's a lot ofmyths floating around there
about what happens during theholidays in terms of depression,
in terms of increase inself-harm and suicide rates.
So I want to really dive intosome of that tonight, not to be
(01:33):
pessimistic and not tonecessarily make this a
difficult episode to listen to.
My hope would be is that wetalk about this, we take away
some of the fear that sometimessurrounds the holidays for
families that are strugglingwith addiction and really
empower you as families to lookat this time of year differently
than I think a lot of people do.
As an interventionist, this isthe time of year that I really
(01:57):
start to get slow.
No one wants to send theirloved one to treatment from
about the end of Halloween as weget into November and people
start ramping up for theholidays.
And then Christmas comesDecember 25th and then my
busiest week for phone callsevery single year is December
26th through New Year's, and Ithink the reason for that is
(02:20):
just because nobody wants tohave their loved one go into
treatment before the holidays,or they think that their loved
one go into treatment before theholidays, or they think that
their loved one would beresistant to the idea of getting
into treatment because they'llmiss the holidays.
But of course nobody wantstheir alcoholic or addicted
loved one around for the NewYear's Eve parties, and so
that's a time of year that Ithink things for us in this
field start to get a little bitbusy.
(02:42):
But one of the things that Ithink families get most
concerned about and I hear thisa lot, especially during this
time of year is that suiciderates go up during the holidays,
and as I was doing a little bitof research for this episode, I
found that that's actually nottrue.
I went and did a number ofdifferent searches on what does
(03:06):
the increase in self-harm andsuicide rates look like during
the holidays, and in almostevery search that I did with a
combination of differentkeywords, what I found was that
there is actually not anincrease in the rates of suicide
and self-harm during theholidays.
There's an increase in therates of depression, but the
(03:26):
time of year that actually hasthe most significant increase in
suicide is actually spring andsummer, and the age group that's
most affected by changes in theI don't know if it's changes in
the season, but the mostat-risk age group and gender
(03:48):
group for suicide is men overthe age of 65.
And so for most of the peoplethat I work with, most drug
addicts and alcoholics don'tsurvive to 65 in the first place
if they continue on an activeaddiction or alcoholism.
So that kind of weeds out thatage group immediately from the
population that we're talkingabout here right now.
(04:09):
According to the AmericanPsychological Association,
there's about a 38% increase inthe rates of depression during
the holidays, in November andDecember, versus other times
during the year, but thatdoesn't necessarily correlate to
an increase in the rates ofsuicide, and so I think that a
(04:29):
lot of families get worriedabout.
Well, we don't want tointervene or we don't want to
have our loved one go totreatment because we're taking
them away from our family duringthe holidays, or we're asking
them to sacrifice time withtheir families, times with their
kids or with brothers andsisters or parents, loved ones.
(04:49):
We don't want to ask them tosacrifice that because there's
an increased chance that they'regoing to become depressed or
there's going to be apsychological effect that's
negative in addition to going totreatment.
The reality is not getting helpis going to have a much more
profound psychological andemotional effect than asking
(05:13):
somebody to go and actuallyimprove that condition by
getting treatment, even if itmeans spending time away from
family.
Because here's the reality ofit, and I'm looking at examples
from my own life as I talk aboutthis as well One of the last
Christmases that I celebratedwith my family before getting
sober, this was probably when Iwas about 28, 27 years old.
(05:35):
My siblings I'm the oldest ofsix kids in my family we were
back home in my family home inArizona where I grew up, and I
remember everybody kind ofopening presents and you know
some of my siblings had kidsalready and you know the
grandkids went first and theyopened presents and then some of
my siblings started openpresents and you know, of course
, me being the selfish andself-centered individual that I
(05:58):
was at the time, I'm kind oflooking around going, huh, where
are all my presents?
And, and there at the end, um,my dad reaches behind the
Christmas tree and pulls out onepresent for me and I'm the
oldest, I'm 27, 28 years old atthis point and I open it up and
it's a football.
Um, and you know, here I wasthinking, wow, what a letdown.
(06:24):
You know, my, my parents, asparents as a grown man, got me a
football for Christmas.
And the reality is I've neveractually spoken to them about
this, but I can only imaginethat they were trying to show me
that they didn't forget aboutme.
(06:44):
They were absolutely thinkingabout me during the holidays,
but they also didn't want to getme something that was expensive
, that I could go pawn or hawkand then use that money to buy
drugs.
Because they knew exactly whatwas going on with me at that
time.
They didn't know the extent ofit, they didn't know all the
details, thank goodness but theyknew enough to know that if
they got me anything of value,that it was going to end up
(07:04):
getting pawned, it was going toend up getting sold off and I
was going to use that money toprocure drugs and alcohol.
And so they did the best theycould at the time and they got
me a football and it stands outas a memory to me because I know
now, looking back, as angry asI was at the time, feeling like
man, what a bunch of cheapskates.
Everybody else got something.
They were protecting me frommyself at the time and as I work
(07:31):
with families now, sometimes Iwill share that story, because
there's this sense of almostfantasy that surrounds families
and I include my own family inthis, when it was me in this
situation.
Families want to hold onto thisidea that maybe somehow this
(07:52):
will still be a good experience.
Maybe somehow just being aroundfamily will allow our loved one
to connect with the fact thatthere's something bigger to be a
part of here that they'remissing out by not living a
sober life and maybe just bybeing present at family
functions we can have an effectin a positive way on what's
(08:13):
going on.
And more times than not, whatends up happening is the
individual arrives late.
If they arrive at all, theyarrive impaired on some level,
level because of the behaviorthat surrounds addiction.
(08:34):
We create distractions, whetherit's conflict, whether it's
impaired behavior, intoxicatedbehavior.
We will without beingintentional about it, but we
will distract from the occasionand in most cases, it ends up
being frustrating for the familymembers that aren't living in
active addiction, but are livingwith active addiction, and it
creates resentment and itcreates hurt and it creates
(08:56):
memories that would have betternot been made in the first place
.
And so I guess, as I'm talkingabout this, I want to encourage
families that are on the fence.
Do we try to ask our loved oneto get help right now, or do we
wait until after the holidays todo this?
I want to encourage everybodywho's listening to this right
(09:19):
now to really consider notwaiting, because the reality is
we're dealing with a fataldisease here.
We're dealing with somethingthat, given a long enough
timeline, it will take the lifeof every single person who goes
down this road, or it will takethe freedom away from every
single person that goes downthis road.
It will land us in jail, itwill land us in prison, it will
(09:41):
land us in medical compromise,it'll end relationships, it'll
destroy relationships betweenparents and children and spouses
and loved ones, and there'snothing positive that comes from
waiting.
If someone needs help, I thinksometimes, as loved ones who may
(10:08):
err on the side of codependencyand I include myself in that
because I've been there, we willgive ourselves a number of
reasons as to why now is not agood time.
Well, I don't want to take thisopportunity away from them or I
don't want this to be thememory that they associate with
Christmas or with Thanksgivingand sending the message as a
(10:30):
family, in a very loving way, toreally be able to say we care
more about your health and yourhappiness than we care about you
spending Christmas here with usthis year or we spend you being
here in Thanksgiving with usthis year.
We want to salvage everyChristmas and Thanksgiving that
is yet to happen, and we'rewilling to sacrifice the one
(10:52):
that's happening this year in2024 to make sure that we get
all the future ones that wepossibly can have with you and
that those memories are aswonderful as we hope that they
will be.
Because you've decided to getsober and because, as a family,
we have decided to rally aroundyou and help you make this
decision, to get the help thatyou need.
(11:13):
We want to see you happy, wewant to see you healthy and, as
a family, we are no longerwilling to walk in fear because
we are trying to avoid conflictor we are trying to avoid what
happens in relationships whenfeelings get hurt or we are
trying to avoid what happens inrelationships when feelings get
hurt and the minute that, asfamily members, we can allow
(11:35):
that fear to, we can disarm,that, we can take away the
weapon that sometimes fear getsused as and it can lose its
power and we can, in a lovingway, approach that loved one and
say we care too much about youto be quiet anymore, and there's
never a good time to do this,but right now is the best time
(11:57):
to do this.
If you guys understand mymeaning and as, as you
contemplate this, there are anumber of different ways that
families can go about gettinghelp, and that's the other thing
that I was thinking about as Iwas preparing for this episode
is where do most families startwhen they start looking at, okay
(12:20):
, how do we get our loved onehelp?
There's really two avenues thatI think a lot of families will
look at first as kind of thefront lines, and the first one
would be a therapist or apsychiatrist.
I think that a lot of times,and rightly so, families will
look at this and say, well, ifwe can just get them into
therapy, maybe that will helpthem start to turn the corner,
(12:41):
and I think that that's a betteralternative than the other one
that I'll start to talk abouthere in just a minute.
I think that most therapistshave a much more significant
amount of training when it comesto addiction recovery and
certainly mental health wellness, than physicians, and that's
the other group I think thatfamilies will turn to when it
(13:02):
comes to okay, what do we do?
Because addiction is a medicaldisease.
I believe that it's a medicaldisease, it's certainly in the
DSM-5, and it has beencategorized as a medical illness
for years, for decadesInstitute on Drug Abuse, nida,
(13:22):
and if you guys want toreference this study, this
article, the title of it isDoctors Reluctant to Treat
Addiction Most Commonly ReportLack of Institutional Support as
Barrier.
So I was really looking at okay, what keeps doctors in
(13:45):
particular from being able totreat addiction more effectively
?
If we look at this as a medicalissue, the frontline medical
providers, the familypractitioners, the internal
medicine docs what tools do theylack to be able to treat this
more effectively?
And so what this article talksabout is over the course of the
(14:09):
last 61 years, they pulled from283 studies, and we're talking
about data that has beencollected from about 66,000
doctors over the course of 61years Now the number of studies
that were done, about 97% ofthem have been done since 2000.
(14:30):
So you know, the first 41 yearsof that, or 40 years of that,
there wasn't a whole lot ofresearch or studies done on
addiction compared to what'sbeen done in the last 24 years.
But of the doctors that weresurveyed, those 66,000 doctors,
what they found most commonlythe number one reason that was
(14:52):
cited and this is coming from81% of the studies that were
done.
Out of these 283 studies, 81%of them cited that the biggest
reason that doctors didn't feellike they could treat addiction
in their office setting or inthe medical setting that they
practiced in, whether that was amedical group or a hospital,
(15:14):
81% of them reporting lack ofinstitutional support.
And what that means is,according to what I read here,
institutional environment refersto factors like lack of support
from physicians, institution oremployer, insufficient
resources such as staff andtraining, challenges in
(15:35):
organizational culture andcompeting demands.
So those were the reasons citedwhen they talk about, or the
detail that was cited when theytalk about, lack of
institutional support.
I think again, as I readbetween the lines there, what
I'm reading is there's a lack offunding, whether it's in a
hospital environment, whetherit's in a medical group, that
(15:59):
there was just a lack of profitto be made in treating addiction
recovery.
Now the next two most commonlycited reasons why doctors were
reluctant to treat addiction 74%cited lack of cognitive
(16:19):
capacity to manage a certainlevel of care, so it was too
demanding on their mentalabilities to treat addiction.
And 72% reported inadequateknowledge, so they didn't
understand addiction well enoughto be able to effectively treat
(16:40):
it.
To me, that was astounding thathere are our frontline
providers.
These are medical doctorstreating a medical disease, and
72% of them cited a lack ofknowledge as one of the reasons
why they didn't treat addictionin their office settings or in
their clinic settings.
Around 66% of the studies citednegative social influence or
(17:03):
beliefs about public orcommunity acceptance of
addiction care.
So this stigma around addiction,that addiction has this moral
component to it.
Around addiction, thataddiction has this moral
component to it that it's notnecessarily viewed as a medical
disease like diabetes or canceror some other chronic illness.
There's a negative stigma thatsurrounds it.
(17:26):
How do they put it?
Negative social influences,negative social influences.
And so when you look at this,this is really where I think
doctors as a whole lack theknowledge, the support in their
own environments to be able totreat addiction effectively.
(17:49):
And so you get what we have nowin this country, which I think,
to be quite frank, is very,very effective, and that is
treatment facilities where youhave specialized facilities
where people can go and findhelp for whether it's an
outpatient program where they'regoing several times a week,
(18:12):
whether it's an inpatientprogram where they're going for
30 days, 60 days, 90 days orlonger and getting very
specialized care, dual diagnosiscare for the co-occurrence of
mental health issues along withsubstance use issues.
This is where I think a lot ofpeople look at this and say, oh
(18:32):
well, you know this is just amoney grab, or you know
treatment centers are chargingway too much for this.
The reality is, when you lookat it purely from an economic
standpoint, demand far outweighssupply when it comes to this.
According to a 2022 study, therewere 49 million people in the
(18:55):
United States that met thecriteria to be diagnosed with
substance use disorder oralcohol use disorder.
49 million Around 13 millionreceived help within the
previous year.
So when they surveyed thesepeople in 2022, one of the
(19:34):
questions that they ask is inthe previous year have you
received any kind of treatmentfor substance use?
And that was a very, very broadrange.
It didn't have to be inpatient.
It could be therapy, it couldbe medication-assisted treatment
, which didn't necessarilyrequire people to receive
clinical services like therapyor counseling.
So 13 million out of 49 millionpeople received help in the
previous year.
So you're looking at a systemthat can't handle the demand,
(19:55):
quite frankly, and especiallywhen you're looking at a system
like we have here in Oregonthat's state-funded.
Oregon has a very robustMedicaid system, more so than
most states that I have found.
The problem is and I don't wantto make this political and I'm
not intending to make thispolitical but Oregon is one of
(20:17):
the states very early on in theprocess that legalized
recreational use of marijuana.
One of the promises that wasmade in order to get this
legislation passed is that theywere going to use some of the
tax revenue to create moretreatment opportunities for
people to get help here inOregon.
That did not happen, certainlynot to the degree that those
(20:40):
that were pushing thislegislation had promised, and so
what we have now is a demandthat far outweighs the supply
when it comes to people'sability to get help and the
availability of good qualityresources for people to receive
that help, and so, again, thisis just another reason why I
(21:01):
think families really need toconsider not waiting.
There are people that need help,and it may be your loved one
here that I'm talking about.
There are people that need help, and it may be your loved one
here that I'm talking about.
There are people that need help, and while most of the time,
especially in privately runfacilities, availability
(21:21):
generally isn't the problem,when you have a private
insurance policy or heavenforbid you're paying out of
pocket to go to treatment,there's generally going to be
availability If you're workingwith Medicaid, or I've had a
couple of cases in the lastcouple of years where somebody
over 65 was using Medicare to beable to get into treatment.
(21:41):
There are some facilities outthere that take Medicare for
those that are on Medicare overthe age of 62 or 65, depending
on when you start getting it,but most of the time we're
talking Medicaid, which is whichis state funded treatment, and
the those beds are in shortsupply.
They really are, and the otherthing about that is that most
(22:02):
facilities that take Medicaidbecause of the high demand,
their tolerance for in adherenceto rules or lack of compliance
or lack of participation in theprogram is very, very low.
They don't have a whole lot oftolerance for that at all, and
so what'll happen is people gointo treatment and they push
(22:22):
back and they don't want to bethere.
The staff members at programsthat are state funded typically
they know that there are peopleout there that want to have that
spot that that person isoccupying, who may not
necessarily be taking fulladvantage of it, and so they'll
discharge that person and makeroom for somebody else to come
in.
If that person isn't showingthe commitment that they feel
(22:45):
like they need to show, um,they'll, they'll remove that
person from the program andbring somebody else in who's
willing.
And I get it.
I do.
I understand why, but we'reworking in a system that
obviously needs some revision,it needs some improvement.
(23:06):
But I say all of this to reallyreinforce the idea that there's
no value in waiting and thereare resources out there.
I know I just got done talkingabout the lack of resources and
the lack of availability.
I think that a lot of timespeople just don't know where to
(23:28):
look.
There's a number that just cameout this year and most people
refer to it as the suicidehotline, the suicide prevention
hotline.
It's 988.
It's not just for suicideprevention, it's not just for
that kind of crisis.
It is a general crisis hotlineand it is for people who are
(23:48):
family members of someone who'sstruggling.
It is for people who arelooking for resources for
somebody who's struggling,whether it's with a mental
health issue or an addictionissue.
All you have to do is pick upthe phone, dial 988.
And somebody on the other endof that line can help you find
resources, if that's what youneed.
Another is a website calledfindtreatmentgov and it's a
(24:10):
website where, in your area,especially if you are needing to
use Medicaid or Medicare tofind a state funded facility,
you go to find treatmentgov andyou will be able to find a list
of treatment providers in yourarea that will take Medicaid,
(24:49):
no-transcript.
I've put clients in treatmentprograms all over the country.
I have relationships, notfinancial relationships, of
course.
I don't have financialrelationships with treatment
programs, but I do have goodworking relationships with
treatment providers.
And if families have acombination of insurance and
(25:12):
private funds, or if a familysays, hey, we don't have
insurance, but we've got this inour budget, we can afford to
pay this for treatment.
What can I do to make this work?
Many, many times?
Myself or other people in myprofession can help to email me
at matt at partyrecordscom.
(25:34):
I am more than happy to take alook and see what I can do to
help you find resources,especially during this time of
year.
Like I said, this is generallya slower period of time and I've
got more time to dedicate tohelping with things like this.
I know treatment centers theircensuses tend to drop during
this time of year, and sothere's more availability of
beds in private facilities.
(25:55):
So I want to make sure thateverybody understands that there
are resources available, eventhough I've been a little bit
pessimistic about this and someof the things that I've said
today.
There are resources out there.
It's just a matter of makingsure you get connected with the
right people and find what youneed people and find what you
(26:16):
need.
The kind of questions that Iwould ask you if you were to
reach out to me is provide mewith their age, their gender.
If they do have a mental healthdiagnosis, how long is their
addiction history?
What does that look like?
Have they had previous attemptsto get sober before?
Have they been to treatmentbefore and, if so, what did that
look like?
That'll help me narrow downsome things on my end to help
(26:37):
you find the right resources.
So, in conclusion, guys, I justwant to encourage you to not
wait until the end of theholiday season.
This is a wonderful time ofyear for somebody to start over
and look at a new start as theyenter into 2025.
We can put 2024 to rest as ayear where somebody gets sober
(26:59):
and somebody does the hard workto make 2025 the best year ever,
and I appreciate you guyslistening to this.
If there's anything that I cando to be of assistance to you
again, the email address is mattat partyrecordscom.
I look forward to hearing fromyou.
I hope you guys have awonderful wonderful holiday
(27:20):
season.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Thanks again for listening to the Party Wreckers.
If you liked what you heard,please leave us a rating and a
review.
This helps us get the word outto more people, to learn more or
to ask us a question we cananswer in a future episode.
Please visit us atPartyWreckerscom and remember
(27:43):
don't enable addiction ever.
On behalf of the Party WreckersMatt Brown and Sam Davis.
Let's talk again soon.
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