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May 4, 2025 • 10 mins

Heart racing? Shortness of breath? Worried thoughts? Is this anxiety? Maybe it's not. Maybe sometimes we get the label wrong. The reality is, we feel such a wide range of emotions that it's possible we do get it wrong and maybe that can be harmful. Listen in as Carly chats through a different approach, a different attitude so stop getting caught up in labels and we can get on with life.

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Speaker 1 (00:09):
Everyone.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
It's Kali here for this week's Mojo Monday. So I'm
going to talk about that a word today, and I
think most of you are going to know what the
A word is. So I'm going to talk about the
word anxiety, and I think a lot of you will
agree with me, or maybe you haven't thought about this,
but it is a word that is overused at the moment.

(00:32):
I think social media has had a huge impact on that.
We tend to our young people and I'm not isolated
to young people that many of us are very aware
of medical kind of terminology and using it in our
everyday language just because it's just so accessible.

Speaker 1 (00:51):
At the moment.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
I wanted to talk about this because I know a
lot of students are heading into exams season right now
the schools and the universities, and there are a lot
of kids at school, maybe year eight, year nine. I
know my son, he's included in this, and they are
doing exams for the very first time, so of course
that is going to bring up feelings.

Speaker 1 (01:16):
In the lead up to exams.

Speaker 2 (01:18):
So I just wanted to have a bit of a
chat about that, but of course not isolated to those situations.

Speaker 1 (01:24):
Now, I know Naming how we feel is helpful.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
Of course, research shows us that labeling an emotion can
turn down the intensity.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
It's a bit like.

Speaker 2 (01:34):
Turning down the sound of a blaring speaker. But what
if we get the language wrong. What if the naming
of the emotion is actually making things worse because we're
getting the label wrong.

Speaker 1 (01:49):
You know, we feel this.

Speaker 2 (01:51):
Wide range of emotions, and when we say we'll name
that emotion, we have to kind of go into our
bank of vocabulary and match the label with the emotion.

Speaker 1 (02:03):
And there is a big chance that we're going to
get that wrong.

Speaker 2 (02:08):
And what o'ur noticing in our language right now is
we automatically go to this word anxiety to describe what
used to be called maybe nervousness or worry or concern.
There are heaps of other words that we can use
for how we're feeling in that moment. But what we're
doing is we're slapping this label of anxiety on every flutter,

(02:32):
every moment that we feel our nervous system kicking, you know,
our racing heart, our shaking hands, or even our worried thoughts,
and every dip in confidence that we have. It's like, oh,
here's my anxiety or oh, I'm anxious.

Speaker 1 (02:47):
And here's what that can do.

Speaker 2 (02:49):
It can inflate something that is very human, that is
very natural and manageable, into something clinical.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
And what we're.

Speaker 2 (02:59):
Doing is we're pathologizing natural human responses where it's it's
like it's permanent. It's something that feels permanent, and it
feels heavy, and it feels much bigger than us. But
most of the time it isn't and not all the time.
I am very aware that everyone listening is in a

(03:20):
different situation, but I'm also aware that the word anxiety
is being overused and that can have major ongoing repercussions.
We're using the word anxiety as this umbrella term, and
I don't think that's helpful. So being nervous, let's use
the word nervous, which is temporary, and I'm going to

(03:41):
talk about.

Speaker 1 (03:41):
What it is.

Speaker 2 (03:42):
But if we keep focusing on these sort of these
feelings of being nervous, it can lead to anxiety. And
that can depend on how we approach it, our mindset,
our attitude towards the nervousness.

Speaker 1 (03:56):
If we automatically call.

Speaker 2 (03:58):
Our state of being nervous anxiety and judge it as
negative and a threat something to get rid of.

Speaker 1 (04:06):
It can actually.

Speaker 2 (04:07):
Start to exacerbate and then it can get worse. So
this is where we can control our attitude towards it.
So if you have been listening to previous episodes, I've
mentioned this before. When I do presentations, which I love
to do. I love presenting. It's an opportunity for me

(04:29):
to make a difference in people's lives. But I can't
really nervous and I'm talking really nervous in the lead
up to it. But I don't call it anxiety. I
don't say I'm anxious about doing the presentation.

Speaker 1 (04:45):
I certainly get hyped up, and I have worried thoughts and.

Speaker 2 (04:50):
I you know, all the stuff that goes on in
your head and your body and the racing heart and
all that stuff. But I'm so glad that I that
actually happened thanks to me, which might sound a bit
weird to you, but I welcome it. And that's because
that nervous energy helps me. I'm grateful that it turns up,
because what it is is it's.

Speaker 1 (05:12):
Telling me you care. You want this to go well.

Speaker 2 (05:17):
You want to give people value, So you need to
put in the work, you need to show up.

Speaker 1 (05:23):
So think about that. On the other side of.

Speaker 2 (05:25):
That very uncomfortable, very unpleasant state of nervousness, there is
this desire that I do well, and there's no way
I would do as well without it. If I didn't care,
I wouldn't feel nervous, so I wouldn't bother putting in
the work that I do. So what I do is
I listen to it. I don't run from it, and

(05:47):
I use it as fuel. I prep better, focus more,
and I really stay grounded. And it doesn't mean that
I'm not super uncomfortable. Well, this is happening, but I'm
just in embracing the whole thing. But it's not anxiety.
I'm not anxious. I'm nervous. That's my body gearing up
for something that really matters to me. And the same

(06:11):
goes for students heading into exams. And I know some schools,
as I mentioned, they've got exams in a few weeks
and there are kids heading into exams for the first time.
Let's stop casually throwing around the word anxiety. Anxiety is
it can be a mental health condition because it's excessive

(06:33):
and it can really stop people functioning in their life.
It can be so debilitating an anxiety. It often can't
be pinpointed to a trigger or an event. But what
most of us are feeling is natural. It's a natural,
healthy nervousness. Let's not medicalize something that's actually helpful. And

(06:57):
so kids going into exams are going to feel nervous.
It's natural, and that's because they care. They care about
doing well, They want to do well. Okay, So changing
that attitude towards it can actually mean they can use
it for fuel and really work out what they need
to do. You know, maybe we can change our language

(07:20):
and our attitude. And I guess if you can tell
me what you're so called anxious about, like an exam
or a presentation, or maybe it's a social event, then
that's you being nervous. It's about an upcoming event, and
chances are it'll all dissipate once you start, and certainly
once it's done. You know, how could you not feel

(07:45):
nervous before an exam or how you How could I
not feel nervous before a presentation or even a social
event where you hardly know anyone. I know, if I'm
going to a social event and I'm thinking, oh gosh,
you know, I only know one or two p people. Yes,
I'm nervous about that because there's something on the other
side of that that I care.

Speaker 1 (08:05):
I care about connection. I do care about what other
people think of me, whether they're going to like me.

Speaker 2 (08:11):
This is all natural. So here's my invitation to you
for this week. Instead of jumping automatically to a label,
just feel what you feel. Take some time to connect
with that feeling. The challenge with this is trying not
to judge it in any way, allow yourself to just be,

(08:36):
and then you can ask what is on the other
side of this feeling?

Speaker 1 (08:40):
What is my desire?

Speaker 2 (08:41):
Is a desire to add value, a desire to do well,
a desire for connection, And what is this feeling trying
to tell me?

Speaker 1 (08:49):
You know, in my case, it's telling me prepare practice.

Speaker 2 (08:54):
Maybe it's telling the students to put the work in
and study.

Speaker 1 (09:00):
You know.

Speaker 2 (09:00):
It might be telling you to take some time out
and do something that's enjoyable for you, or maybe it's
telling you to have an early night. There's just so
many messages that these feelings can tell us. And then
it's what do I need to do right now? Because
the truth is the only reason we get nervous before
something big is that we care. We give a damn

(09:23):
and that's not a weakness, that's commitment, that's heart. So
let's stop using the word anxiety as an umbrella term
and let's start getting curious. Feel how you feel, stay human,
and focus on what you care about, and then show.

Speaker 1 (09:40):
Up for that.

Speaker 2 (09:42):
So thank you so much for listening. I'm just so
full of gratitude for everybody that chunes in every Monday
or whatever day you choose to tune into the Mojo
Monday episodes. I just really really appreciate it. Have a
great week, and I'll catch you next week.

Speaker 1 (10:00):
So yeah,
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