The Peasant Revolution Band Variety Hour with Jeff Dodge (S3 Ep 05)

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Alright, welcome. Welcome everybody. We are live here at the Trench Digger Studios. I'm

(00:11):
your host, Jeff Dodge, and we've got a lot of stars and celebrities with us today to
do this special. We have kind of a special message to all of you. I know the kind of
determination it takes to be a winner, okay? I know that determination. It's not always

(00:32):
easy but anyone can do it, okay? By taking pride in yourself. You see, you just need
to get high. Get high on yourself, okay? High on yourself. One, two, three, four.

(00:56):
You can take on what you want. You can get higher. You will know by making up your own mind.
Doing things your own way. Stepping up your own style. Being yourself. Being yourself. Being yourself. Being somebody with a point of view. Just by acting yourself, whatever you do. You can be somebody because the choice is up to you.

(01:40):
By making up your own mind. Doing things your own way. Stepping up your own style. Being yourself. Being yourself. Being yourself. Being somebody with a point of view. You can say no and you won't be alone. You can get higher. You will have to know.

(02:09):
By making up your own mind. Doing things your own way. Stepping up your own style. Being yourself. Being yourself. Being yourself. Being yourself. Do do do do. Do do do do. Do do do do. Do do do do.

(02:36):
I just have to say, this is a very magical moment. This song that we've done, it's taking over the nation. It's going to spread everywhere. It's because of you. It's because of you. It's because of you and you. And you. And all of you.

(03:01):
We are doing this. We are doing this here. We are going to make this song a sensation across the country.
But yes.
What's that?
Let's party. Let's party.

(03:30):
Thanks for watching the Pessimist Revolution Band Variety Hour. We've got our special feature guest Kathleen Cunningham.
So stand by, we'll be right back with this special telethon episode.
Hi everybody.

(04:16):
Join our Pessimist Revolution Band.
Film made possible by the Pessimist Revolution Foundation, caused by the help of abilities of метa al Es Lovely produced by our supporters, the fact that we ask that every one could take part is a great american way for backwards, for the university's best indicators to guide пessimists unless they're bad enough.

(04:49):
See so far away
Hey, we're a person revolution man
We must try to really understand
And the truth of our nation is the freedom of the nation
We're a person revolution man

(05:13):

(05:46):
Amelia Cage
Amelia Cage, Amelia Cage, that's a very, very interesting name. Where did you get that from?
I came up with it
That's wonderful, that's wonderful. And how about you?
The Black and White Studio

(06:09):
Black and White Studio, it's almost like a conceptual name or something
Okay, well with that we're going to talk to our friend the drummer. Can you two stay for a little while?
I think you're going to enjoy our next guest. She's very, very unusual and special. Rich, how are you doing?
Oh, just great

(06:30):
I heard you had some trouble getting here
Yeah, we had the typical backup in Wilsonville
Which led to some delays in getting here, so we certainly apologize. I think everybody likes their drummers to be on time, if not in time
But it looks like we've got a heck of a show going here. We've got some kids and special guests

(06:53):
That's right, and they're here to debut this new song that we're pushing called Get High On Yourself
Right, now what was the motivation for the creation of that song there?
Well, I believe an old friend of ours, Bob Evans, was pinched by the police and he had to produce some public service announcements
Oh, is that, wait, now is that the guy, he's got those restaurants in the middle west?

(07:17):
No, I think you're thinking of the Wendy's owner. Isn't that the Wendy's owner? Is that Bob?
Oh, no, that's okay. No, alright
Stoddard was the Wendy's owner?
Yeah, I was given some stuff away to Goodwill the other day and one of the things was an old Evan Pecone suit
Which Bob Evans, when he first went to Hollywood, it was as a salesman for that company, it was a partnership with his brother

(07:47):
I didn't know that
And he was sitting at the pool and somebody looked at him and said, hey, I don't know what it is, but you've got it
Yes
And that was the beginning of his
And that's how the kids stayed in the picture
That is how the kids stayed in the picture, that's right
Bob Evans also produced The Godfather and Love Story, in case you were wondering
And Porky's, if I'm not mistaken

(08:10):
I see our guests are not familiar with his work, so we're going to move along and bring in our featured guests, but not quite yet
We're going to take a little commercial break and we'll be right back with Kathleen Cunningham, yeah!
Captain Ted here, just enjoying some of the spectacular springtime weather that we get in here in our beautiful Portland, Oregon

(08:34):
It's great
And then, you know, get a call, Kevin calls me from the staff over there at the Peasant Revolution Band Variety Hour TV show
And, you know, hey, we're doing another telethon for the kids
You know, got to get some money going for them
And, you know, got to let them know, you know, just probably not a good idea to do drugs, you know

(09:03):
And I'm all supportive of that
Kids should not be doing drugs and they're always going to need money, you know
It's just not a good combination, kids and drugs
Never good
So, yeah, I was just more than happy to just, I love the show and I love being a part of it, you know

(09:27):
And this is the terrific cause, so call that number
Really, the thing that I would say, too, you know, I love boats, I love to insure boats
So I don't know where people are getting the money for these boats
I'm hoping it's got nothing to do with drugs

(09:49):
But, you know, get the money to the kids, you know, you feel like you're going to buy a boat
Get it insured, Captain Ted's has excellent boat insurance
We're the best in the area, you're going to love it
But do this, make a donation, help the kids, call that number

(10:11):
You ever feel like this is your life?
Ouch! Cars are running into you, are running you off the road
You're going to need the best insurance available
Talk to Ted
Come on by at Captain Ted's

(10:33):
We'll talk premiums, deductibles, all that insurance talk
Then we'll get you on a low monthly payment to keep you on the road
Just dial a bunch of fives and a three and a four

(10:54):
1-800-555-5534
We'll get you back on the road and help you stay there
And we're back, oh my, my, we're back

(11:17):
And let's just remind everybody this is a telethon
We're trying to help the kids, the kids out there
And you need to send all your money to us
The magic number there is 555
And you can either text or email
We ran a little over budget last year so we couldn't afford the phone bank

(11:42):
So if you can just call or text or email your money that would be great
That's 555 and we'll be right back with it
Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is a wonderful author
She's written about three books now, I believe it is
And she's a great artist, a talented woman of the most elegant, charming Kathleen Cunningham

(12:10):
Please come in
Yes
Welcome, welcome, please have a seat next to our friends here
Why don't you two scoot over a little bit
Our friend here, welcome
Yes

(12:32):
Is that work?
Am I supposed to talk?
Yeah
Why don't we just, I'll just interview you with this, that's fine
Sure
Alright yes, Kathleen Cunningham

(12:53):
A woman of many talents and many names
Well thank you, Mr. Jeffrey Dodge
I appreciate the chance for this interview
Well
Keep us on
I'll tell ya, we're having all sorts of fun in the studio today
And uh, ooh, look at that

(13:16):
You're watching live TV and how this works
Uh huh, uh huh, that's beautiful, yeah
You know, I think uh, we might need to take a quick little station break
Hey, uh, you know what, do yourself a favor right now, you know

(13:37):
Besides getting a cup of Saffron Brothers coffee, let me tell ya
Call the number on the screen
Look, here's what I'm talking about
Uh, the kids need money
We did this last year so technically I should have this down

(13:59):
But uh, they need money
They don't need drugs, they need education a little bit, you know, they gotta get smarter
Let me drink some of this coffee instead of just blocking my mouth with it too
Um, but we gotta help the kids

(14:20):
So this is what I'm telling you to do, alright
Call the number on the screen, okay
And if you haven't guessed already, it's your friend, Sid Sebastian, right
Got the Saffron Brothers, Downtown Blend, Tasty City Coffee going
You know that I can sit here and have a chat all afternoon

(14:44):
Meanwhile, you could have just gone, made the call, made the donation, helped the kids
Get them off the drugs, get them the money they need just to be able to do everything else
Which really is the thing that's making me wonder

(15:10):
Are Marvell cigarettes really worth $20 more per carton than the Eagle brand?
Can't ask that rich fellow cause he got kicked out of Astro, whatever it is
Astro convenience store, whatever they call it, but I gotta figure this out
Maybe there's more cigarette packs in a carton of Marvell's

(15:32):
I don't understand the $20 difference, but I gotta tell you something
I'm sticking with the Eagles, not the band, the cigarettes
Anyway, help the kids, call the number on the screen
Get them off the drugs, get them the money they need
That's what you gotta do today

(15:54):
What else you gotta do? Go to a barbecue, get drunk, don't get high, I'm telling ya
Don't want none of that
Live your life
Help the kids
Oh, and thank you, that's Sid Sebastian

(16:16):
And yes, once again, that is 555
We're trying to help the kids here
Please 555, text, email, send us all the money you can
And we will get that to the kids after we've paid some administrative costs and some other things
Okay, we are here with Kathleen Cunningham and her two friends

(16:38):
Kathleen, you go by many names
For a while it was Dodge, for a while it was Stein
Where'd you get your names from?
Well, Cunningham was my born name
It's Irish, isn't it?
Yes, O Cunningham
And then it turned to Dodge

(17:00):
Just like the truck
It's very ironic
That Dodge guy, he just dodged that lifestyle
Yes, I'm not sure if we want to talk about that
No, we won't
And then the Stein guy, he kinda took a powder on that too
Stein, I don't know if we want to talk about that either
No, they're both very nice people

(17:21):
But unfortunately they just couldn't be around me too much
Because they didn't like my voice when I sang
Well, we love your voice when you sing
Well, thank you, I appreciate that
I think it's important to explain that we're recording a new album right now
Yes, we're on Mom and Son 2

(17:45):
Mom and Son 2
We call her Mom and Son
Oh, there she is, yes
And there's her little friends too
Now tell me about yourself
My beautiful little friends
Mom, you know, so this is...
You can call me Mom
Okay, sure, Mom

(18:08):
Right, so your friends here, who are these friends?
What?
Oh, these are my wonderful granddaughters
Aren't they cute?
Oh, you're related
And this was Amicon and Black and White
Amilacade

(18:31):
Amilacade
And Black and White Studio
Black and White Studio, exquisite names
And then we have two beautiful grandsons who are over in Honolulu
Unfortunately, we miss them
I believe we've worked with them on some of our past productions
Fantasy Island
B Movie Star Island
B Movie Star Island, yes

(18:53):
And they're actually in a hit video of ours that probably might be getting most of our hits right now
It's Jurassic Chicken Park
Oh, yes
Did you...
They're really good in that
Jurassic Chicken Park
And they're very good in the B rated movie
Where Carl Montalban is played by their father

(19:15):
Oh, Ricky Ricardo
Oh, is that who it was?
Okay, Mom
Yes, yes
Well, so...
Do as I say, not as I do
Well, that's no way to talk in front of your grandchildren
I know
You're here to talk to us about drugs and...

(19:40):
Oh, yes, don't do them bad, bad, bad
Why shouldn't we do drugs, especially as children?
Well, especially marijuana
I want to really get on a rampage about marijuana
It's a terrible thing
It makes you kind of in a stupor
You keep talking about that
I'm going to get a beer, I mean an apple juice, I'll be right back

(20:01):
I bet you're going out for a joint
That is ridiculous
This is Oregon, they don't smoke joints here
Oh, they smoke pretty much anything
But don't you girls do drugs? Drugs are bad
No, never
Never, never
Never
And don't smoke cigarettes, they're bad also
And the camera just crushed

(20:22):
Yes, and you should stay away from apple juice, I mean beer
And let's see what this guy wants to do for dinner
So now I want to hear some music from all you guys, okay?
Well, what are you in the mood for?
What's everybody want to hear?
How about a little anti-drug music, is what I'm thinking

(20:44):
Alright
And you guys can all sing along with this, let's give this a shot
Why you shouldn't, because smoke gets in your eyes
I don't think we know that one
It's really old
Jeff might know that one
I think you'll know this one
It's not something for every occasion I'm sure of

(21:05):
I want to thank you for putting up with this particularly weird interview
This is one of our best interviews actually
We are going more on schedule than usual
And this is a little song to remind the audience at home

(21:26):
Never ever try drugs or trucks or anything of that nature
It's a little song by Paul Revere and the Raiders
It goes something like this
Oh you thought you'd find it easy on the magic carpet ride last night

(21:51):
When you come back down, the world still keeps you uptight
Whatever's the matter, don't you see we'll try
You'll never run away from me
When you keep on running, you'll have to pay the price

(22:12):
You know they say magic is just keep getting harder to find
You know your kicks ain't bringing you peace of mind
You better find out or it's too late
Girl, you better get straight
You don't need kids
You just need help, girl

(22:34):
You're probably gonna find yourself a little piece of paradise
Well, it ain't happened yet
So girl, you better think twice
Don't you see no matter what you do
You'll never run away from me

(22:55):
When you keep on running, you'll have to pay the price
You know they say magic is just keep getting harder to find
You know your kicks ain't bringing you peace of mind

(23:16):
You don't need kids
To help you face the road each day
That road goes nowhere
I'm gonna help you find yourself another kick
Just keep getting harder to find

(23:41):
You don't need kicks
You just keep getting harder to find
You don't need help, girl
You just find out or it's too late
You don't need kids

(24:02):
No, no one needs kicks and no one should have any fun in life either for that matter
We're gonna take a commercial break
Woohoo!
Yay!

(24:43):
Hey, if people are sitting around watching the Pezarean Revolution Band variety hour,
I'm sure some of those people are sports fans.
They're gonna love the show because I can't overemphasize it enough.
We talk sports, nothing, nothing else.
Who else is talking about the basketball playoffs, the NFL Draft, all of the sports right now?

(25:10):
We talk about the sports teams that you love.
In fact, you turn it on, you go, I can't believe they're talking about exactly what I want to hear about.
It's the coach, you know, and I got the memo that said, you know, hey, why don't you come participate?
And, you know, we're doing a telethon for the kids, gotta help the kids, get them some money.

(25:35):
And I was like, yeah, of course, of course I want to help the kids.
Also, you know, I work for Crunch AM 1337.
You know, you guys know me, you've heard my voice.
Obviously, you've been listening to my Sports Talk Radio Show, which is the weekday Sports Talk Radio Show.
And to do this, call the number on the screen, okay?

(25:59):
Give them a call, set up a donation, because what I think is important is talking sports, okay?
You talk sports, you get kids involved in sports, they're not going to do drugs,
but you know, some of them are going to turn pro and make some money, so that's going to be good for them.
The other kids who aren't as good, you know, we just give them the money, we help the kids.

(26:21):
That's what's important, okay?
Nothing else matters, but I tell you what, I am into the fundamentals, so you gotta teach them young.
You gotta teach the kids young, the pick and roll, the single wing formation, those are the things.
You know, we've been talking basketball playoffs, you know that my show is six hours every weekday.

(26:45):
Six to noon, six hours, and it's all sports.
We're talking about girlfriends, hairstyles, boot jobs, none of that stuff.
We are talking sports, we love sports.
I tell you what, give the kids money, call the number on the screen, do us all a favor.

(27:08):
Also, I think there's somebody I want you to meet.
Come on over here, come on.
Got the water boy over here, and I think everybody, the big reveal,
we should finally introduce you to the water boy, he's my partner on the radio.
Oh, come here, hey, come on over here, come on, come on over here, get over here.
Here he comes, the water boy, the one and only, he is the water boy, he loves me.

(27:33):
Yeah, this guy doesn't talk very much at all, but he's a great companion, and he's great on the radio.
This is the coach, this is the water boy, listen to my show, help those kids a lot.
Please, alright, I've got a heart condition, do it.
Oh, and we're back, we're back.

(27:55):
Yeah, I worked for a flight school at Hillsborough, it's nothing.
And it's important that you children do all of your homework too.
No.
Yes, did you bring your homework with you?
No.
When I was a child I did lots of homework on Memorial Day, very important.
That was the last day of homework for me, yay, for the rest of the year.

(28:19):
That's how big it's a growing field.
I don't look your age, it's hard to say.
Dad knows nothing about this, so no homework.
Well, and I guess I'll butt in here, in case you were wondering, this actually is my mother,
and this is kind of a typical conversation in the Cunningham family,
there's about, what, seven conversations going on at once usually?

(28:42):
That's the Irish in us.
Yes, so we're trying to, oh, and look at that, you just are hiding on the camera,
it's so hard to get you.
But do you have any new work coming up, mom?
New work, yes.
Aside from the album, are you writing anything?
No, I haven't started on my third book yet.

(29:04):
But you are doing a third book.
Well, I helped me with my first book, or my second book, a little bit, she didn't know it, but she did.
Well, you were cheating her her profits and stealing all her ideas.
Well, unfortunately, she wasn't cheated by any means because it didn't really go too far.
But anyway, yeah, I'm working on a third, I figured a third is a charm.

(29:26):
All right, and do you have a title for this, or a subject matter?
It's kind of about, like, the Perils of Pauline.
Only this will be called The Perils of Kathleen.
Okay, in a modern setting.
A variety of true life stories and happenings that actually have taken place.
You know, when she was out hanging on a flagpole, or she was tied to a train track,

(29:50):
and the train was coming, it's pretty much true life adventures like that, that just almost happened.
I mean, we're that close.
Yes, yes.
And it's going to be a thriller.
We're all excited for it.
And nobody will believe it's true.
I know you like to read books to the children.
I have one here for you.
Oh, I can't wait to read it. What is it?

(30:13):
I don't know if you can get this, David, maybe over here.
Yes, this is...
Here we are. This is the story of Watergate.
The story of Watergate.
So perhaps you could read a couple sections to us, and I'll play some background music.

(30:36):
The story of Watergate.
Ask her any questions if you have any questions.
With a lot of different guys in here.
What's the first page say?
Blank, Jeff.
Maybe it's the second or third page.
Oh, I see a photo.

(30:58):
Okay, there's a little cartoon there. What's that say?
Okay, the cartoon says, one year of this is enough.
Watergate.
All right. Does that explain it?
Does that explain it? You girls understand what happened there?
Yeah, yeah, that's good stuff. Good stuff. Watergate.
This is the Cornerstones of Freedom.

(31:20):
Yes.
And there's a lot of old people in it.
And they talk about stuff of which we don't really know or care about.
You know, that reminds me of an old song.
Probably not the one to read this to you girls.
It looks like there's some bad language in there actually.
Yeah, it's full of bad language. It's very foul.

(31:44):
See, this is where Richard Nixon didn't realize he was being taped.
He also had a sex scandal too.
Oh, did he now? Did we hear about this?
No, I just made it up.
I guess we shouldn't be talking about it.
What about Robert Wagner? Do you know anything?
Robert Wagner is just a real thug.

(32:05):
Yes, yes. He was great in that heart to heart though.
He was just terrible. He is not an honest guy.
Well, and speaking of Robert Wagner and honesty,
it reminds me of a little song we used to do back, you know,
Kathleen and I used to do tours around helping older folk understand
the ways of the world.
Oh, Convalescent Homes.

(32:26):
Convalescent Home Tour. Do you remember that?
We did three Convalescent Homes.
Ninety-one or something like that.
Yeah, we did Yellow Bird, Pie in Banana Tree.
That's a tough audience, the Convalescent Home. I tell you.
Actually, I thought they were easy.
You didn't look at them the way I did.
Scary.
They threw us kisses as we left.

(32:47):
Well, I was thinking we used to do this one.
Let's see if you remember it.
You girls join in if you can. Everyone.
Almost heaven, West Virginia
Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River

(33:08):
I can see the river and the trees, the river and the mountains
So when I can breathe, country roads
Take me home to the place where I belong

(33:30):
West Virginia, mountain mama
Take me home, country roads
All my memories get around her
Water cities, ginger tube and water

(33:53):
Dark and blue, stupid painting on the sky
Misty days, the moon shines
Till I never die, country roads
Take me home to the place where I belong

(34:14):
I am the bus of the morning, I'm the party
Radio reminds me of my home, far away

(34:36):
Driving down the road, I am human
Love is true, love is true
Yesterday, oh, yesterday
Country roads, take me home to the place
Where I belong

(34:57):
Country roads, take me home to the place
Where I belong

(35:19):
Country roads

(35:43):
Oh, that was fun, that was fun
Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful
Oh you guys, that was great
Just like we used to do it, right?
Listen, I know you're a very busy woman
And you've talked about mostly what you want to talk about
But I heard you had some questions
That you wanted to explain the Illuminati to them

(36:06):
And their usage of Adrenachrome
Did you want to say anything to the...what?
My sister Teresa, it's my sister
No, no, this is a very educational thing
Teresa, it's...
What's Illuminati?
Illuminati? Well, my mother can tell you all about that
Goodbye, thank you for coming

(36:29):
And please, we'll do more music together in future episodes
Yes, there you can see they are leaving
It is a school night
And they didn't get their homework done, so...
Mama's son's taking charge
Well, oh boy, we're right on schedule here
Do you have anything you'd like to add about the Illuminati?

(36:51):
Not really, a secret kind of group that I don't know much about
My cousins used to know a lot about it, Aunt Beth in particular
Well, they're part of the Federal Reserve and the CIA and all that stuff
I could go on for hours about this
But you won't, because you're a good Catholic girl

(37:14):
And the Catholic Church has never done anything weird
What's that got to do with anything?
Okay, we're going to take a commercial break, we'll be right back
I want to talk for about an hour on this subject
I've got a lot to say

(37:54):
If people are sitting around watching the Pezarean Revolution Band variety hour
I'm sure some of those people are sports fans
They're going to love the show because I can't overemphasize it enough
We talk sports, nothing, nothing else
Who else is talking about the basketball playoffs?

(38:16):
The NFL Draft? All of the sports right now
We talk about the sports teams that you love
In fact, you turn it on, you go, I can't believe they're talking about exactly what I want to hear about
It's the coach, you know
And I got the memo that said, you know, hey, why don't you come, participate

(38:41):
And, you know, we're doing a telethon for the kids, got to help the kids, get them some money
And I was like, yeah, of course, of course I want to help the kids
Also, you know, I work for Crunch AM 1337
You know, you guys know me, you've heard my voice
Obviously you've been listening to my sports talk radio show

(39:02):
Which is the weekday sports talk radio show
And to do this, call the number on the screen, okay
Give them a call, set up a donation
Because what I think is important is talking sports, okay
You talk sports, you get kids involved in sports
They're not going to do drugs
But, you know, some of them are going to turn pro and make some money

(39:25):
So that's going to be good for them
The other kids who aren't as good, you know, we just give them the money
We help the kids, that's what's important, okay
Nothing else matters
But I tell you what, I am into the fundamentals
So you got to teach them young
You got to teach the kids young
The pick and roll, the single wing formation

(39:46):
Those are the things, you know, we've been talking basketball playoffs
You know that my show is six hours every weekday
Six to noon, six hours, and it's all sports
We're not talking about girlfriends, hairstyles, boot jobs, none of that stuff

(40:07):
We are talking sports
Sports, we love sports
I tell you what, give the kids money
Call the number on the screen
Do us all a favor
Also, I think there's somebody I want you to meet
Come on over here, come on
Got the water boy over here
And I think everybody, the big reveal
We should finally introduce you to the water boy

(40:31):
He's my partner on the radio
Oh, come here, hey, come on over here
Come on, come on over here
Come on over here
Here he comes, the water boy
The one and only, he is the water boy
He loves me
Yeah, this guy doesn't talk very much at all
But he's a great companion
And he's great on the radio
This is the coach
This is the water boy

(40:52):
Listen to my show
Help those kids a lot
Please
Alright, I got a heart condition
I'm doing it
Oh, and we're back, we're back

(41:15):
Welcome to the Peasant Revolution Band Variety Hour
We've got a special featured guest coming
Making preparations
As I like to say, it's a telethon
And we try and pull out all the stops, don't we Rich?
That's right
And we're going to be doing that again
Just remember, 555 is the magic number

(41:36):
We're looking to reach a certain target goal
I don't know if we will tonight
But I'll keep you posted as we find the final towelies on that
And we're going to take a look at a good friend of the show, Patrick
Did this little piece
And let's see how that goes

(42:02):
Are you looking for an idyllic vacation to escape the daily grind?
Then look no further than Friday Harbor
Oh, fuck this bullshit

(42:30):
In Friday Harbor, there's a vibrant and romantic scene
Of locally owned restaurants and bars
Seeking pay to get so hammered
That your whole vacation goes by in a blur
One time when my sister and young uncle were getting married
I was supposed to show up, but I thought it was Saturday
So I thought I'd party hard the Friday before
But it was that night
I got a text from my mother where I was at
The wedding was happening

(42:51):
I cabbed there
I stumbled into the center aisle
And passed out with a crash just before the vows
Or so I'm told
It's a useless trivia fact of local pride
That there are no stoplights at all on the entire island
There's no need
But you know where else are there any stoplights?
A smelly medieval peasant village
That's what

(43:12):
Yes, you can go on affordable whale watching tours
And get your perv on watching whales hump each other in front of families
There are lots of antique stores and clothes shopping here
That we really encourage you to check out

(43:33):
And make impulse buys
So that we can pay our bills, man
If you would come here
You could see a great diversity of wildlife to see
There are bald eagles, deer, American robins, quails, and uh

(43:57):
I don't know, some other birds
Fuck it
When the climate change apocalypse happens
All these critters will be gone anyway
In the San Juan Islands Sculpture Park
On the north end
There is an outdoor museum in a field
Filled with sculptures and art installations

(44:18):
But it's kind of pointless
You see, art is just a bunch of lead scribbles
We make on paper that we pretend is beautiful
Because everyone says so
Why does everyone say so?
Because we make patterns out of nonsense
And see it as beauty
Because we evolved to do that shit to eat
So go ahead, be a fucking tourist

(44:39):
And take meaningless pictures
Of pointless hunks of metal
Oh yeah, and if you have really deep pockets
You can play with boat toys here
As you can see
There are lots of nature-themed jiggers to explore here

(45:01):
We think it is beautiful
Because we make bullshit meaning on everything
The rocks are just rocks
Although here on San Juan
They baffle even geology professors
The trees mean nothing because life means nothing
We're nothing but a bunch of carbon computer-run meatball bags
Made of chemicals that imitate sentience

(45:22):
Sitting on a pointless land
On a pointless giant rock we call Earth
A universe filled with no God or purpose
Just pointless stars and pointless stardust that moves
Yeah, come to Friday Harbor or don't
It doesn't fucking matter either way

(45:46):
This is the part where I'm supposed to pressure you into booking now
Before you can stop to ponder the wisdom
Of spending your money on tourism
So just do it man
That was absortastically terrible
What the hell are you thinking?
Are you freaking trying to scare our clients away?
Because that, in no certain utterance

(46:07):
Is what your narration would accomplish
Oh yes, ladies and gentlemen
We're glad to see that many more guests have arrived
And are joining us for this very special anti-drug
Anti-marijuana, anti-beer and coffee and jelly bean special
So with no further ado

(46:30):
We have ladies and gentlemen Mr. Vic Demonis
You're going to plug me in, huh?

(46:51):
I believe you'll plug in
I believe I'm not
I walk around with this guitar everywhere I go
Oh, there you go
What do I do with that?
I'm part crooner, you know
We used to just sing
I had to develop my act a little bit
I had to change with the changing times

(47:12):
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
I just wanted to
This is the stage, the music
Vic Demonis
He goes in this hole right here
I think
Yeah?
That's it
Alright, alright
You're on, it's Vic Demonis
Guys, thank you
It's great to be here
I don't know exactly where I am
But it's great to be here

(47:36):
Just had my dye job
So please don't touch my hair
Actually, it's a little bit wet right now
That's not from a shower
It's from a little bit of paint
Latex
You know, the set list has evolved
And I got to tell you something
I do, I tell more stories
My usual set list

(47:57):
10 songs, 37 stories
Okay, now we're not talking skyscrapers here
We're talking stories about my life, my times
Traveling around the world, playing music
Thinking about Tony Bennett a lot
And you know, I don't think he thinks about me at all
But that's alright

(48:19):
Now, the thing was
They told me many, many years ago
Ed had some kids on his show
Paul, Ringo, and some other guys
But the thing that everybody got into was the guitars
And all of a sudden
There were lines at the guitar store
I found myself in line at the guitar store

(48:42):
Because somebody said to me
You know, Tony doesn't play an instrument
And I thought about that
I said, hmm, now I can make myself a little bit different from Tony
And yeah, lines were crazy
My mom started talking about Rickenbackers
And I didn't know why she was all of a sudden into German aviation

(49:05):
I was very confused about all that
And you know, the thing was
I started to learn
I had a lot of people tell me
One finger goes here, one finger goes there, one finger goes there
You know, I mean that whole thing
That's how it all started
And I started playing guitar
And so

(49:27):
We are actually here to play Moondust
Guys, I know it's a surprise to you
It's a total surprise
This is a beautiful song
27, 28, somewhere around back then
Those many years ago
I took Moondust out of the set
Just one night on a whim

(49:48):
I said, let's not play Moondust
I'll tell an extra story
I don't know what came over me
Worst reviews in 28 years
Where was Moondust?
Everybody wanted to hear Moondust
There was no Moondust in that set
And I never forgot that
Every set I ever play, anywhere I go

(50:10):
Anything I ever do, I sing Moondust
So we're going to sing Moondust in the key of G
Where's my volume?
Where's my guitar?
Tech
Oh, we're going to do it real slow

(50:31):
And we're going to start now
Let's say it was the Moondust
Whoa
That drifted down from heaven
That fell upon your shoulders

(50:55):
And nestled in your eyes
With all its ancient powers
More than any mole

(51:18):
Ever could devise
And it made me love you
And it made me never want to go away
And it made me a place
Where maybe I'm always

(51:40):
Going to stay that way
That said it was the Moondust
That hid behind the moonlight
That fell and set us free

(52:01):
The Moondust melody
Oh, oh, oh

(52:29):
And it made me love you
And it made me never want to go away
And it made me a place
Where maybe I'm always
Going to stay that way

(52:55):
That hid behind the moonlight
That fell and set us free
The Moondust melody

(53:19):
The Moondust melody
Wow! Thank you, thank you. I love these guys.
Very virile young men here. I love them. They're beautiful. They are very beautiful.
Very, very, very, very, you know, nice guys. Thank you for sitting in. Thank you for, you know, you made it easy.

(53:45):
Not too long ago, I was walking the streets of lower east side, Alphabet City, you know,
And everywhere, everywhere you go, there's somebody saying you want some of this, you want some of that, you know,
And you know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about drugs. They're offering you drugs right there, open air market.

(54:06):
Never actually offered me anything for my rheumatoid arthritis. I think I might have taken them up on that, you know.
I think that would have been probably a good offer, you know. But that didn't happen.
So I'm walking down the street and this woman comes up to me and she pushes me into the alley.
I think maybe this is my lucky day. She says, Vic de Monitz. I said, well, your pronunciation is actually pretty close there.

(54:34):
She said, we've got to sing together. I'm like, you know, okay, I guess this sounds like a good offer.
She says, no, no, you don't understand who I am. You know, there's somebody out there named Lady Gaga.
I said, oh, Lady Gaga. Oh, yeah, Tony. Tony did a whole album with Lady Gaga.
So I'm on my mind like, Lady Gaga? This is not Lady Gaga. Turns out this is Lady Kaka.

(54:59):
Okay, I don't know. This is a lower east side thing. I don't know. I don't know anything about this.
But Lady Kaka says, you know, we've got to do some material. We've got to do a recording.
I said, oh, okay, I'm game, you know, and it was a little strange, you know.
But she smeared herself with feces and I never sang better. I don't understand it. Just crazy. I don't know.

(55:24):
Those were crazy, crazy times. Speaking of crazy times, we're going to do a couple songs.
Band doesn't know this, but in the Kiwi, so it'll be good.
Guy on the East Coast wrote a lot of songs about drugs, put his music out on cassette.
Very strange guy back in the day. I don't know this guy named George Willard and he must have done a lot of drugs.

(55:49):
I had something to do with drugs. But, you know, we're just in this.
This is just a very appropriate thing. You know, things are getting all legal and all this.
But it's like, no, you've got to consider the alternative. What can happen? You got to be cool.
Just, you know, for the kids' sake, okay? Because the kids are going to get crazy

(56:10):
and they're going to start doing drugs at eight years old or something, right?
All right. So.
It's kind of a bluesy number.

(56:37):
When you're at the end of your rope
And you have lost too much hope

(57:00):
Don't be a dope
You still don't have to reach for no dope
Just say nope
Just said nope

(57:23):
The price of getting high
Makes you want to climb
It's a capitalist plot
You'll take everything
All the money you've got

(57:56):
If you find yourself
Going down that slope
You feel like you need to have a long conversation with the poor
Still, it's not no reason
To get a bunch of dope

(58:20):
Just say nope
Just say no
The price of getting high

(58:45):
Makes you want to count and cry
It's a capitalist plot
It sees all the ass that you've got

(59:08):
Just say nope
Just say no
Just say no
Just say

(59:38):
So
Your parents, maybe not your parents
Maybe your football cungs or your minister, your rabbi, your cleric
Maybe your teacher, but probably not your teachers
Cause I think most teachers need a little bit of a snort at the end of the day dealing with kids
But somebody

(01:00:01):
Somebody hopefully has told you about the dangers of drugs
They're everywhere
Drugs

(01:00:28):
Drugs
Drugs
Drugs
Drunk, drunk, drunk

(01:01:06):
Drunk, drunk, drunk

(01:01:31):
All right, it's all right, it's all right
All right, it's all right, it's all right

(01:02:16):
And, you know, have me thinking about that kid, you know, from the comic strip Pigpen, you know, and man, that kid's clothes needed a lot of pretreatment.
I got to tell you that much. That kid was something else, just a pile of dust and dirt, and you couldn't keep his clothes clean for nothing, you know.

(01:02:38):
There's no way that kid's going to be my kid, man. He just needs a bath. I'd get that kid a hot tub and just keep him in there if he's going to get dirty all the time, just constantly, just, you know, just man, you know.
All his clothes, just make him wear brown clothes or something. I mean, Pigpen, I don't know. What's going on with you, kid? You got problems.

(01:03:03):
You got more problems than Charlie Brown, and that's who the show is about.
Anyway, yeah, this is my life right now.
I need to make some money so I can hire somebody, you know, whatever it is, a dollar twenty five a pound or whatever it is. I don't know how much goes away. What's going on with that? I'll pay somebody to clean my dirty underwear.

(01:03:35):
Comis is your market of choice for all Russians things. Here you find Moscow candle cages, golden clocks from our famous gold regions.
We sell funny keychains and gemstones from the Siberian hinterlands, along with black seashells.

(01:04:03):
We have finest capers from Kiev, delicious Russian fish and matryoshka dolls to make you smile.
Comis has toys for children and handmade ships from Petersburg.

(01:04:27):
We bring you back to the old country with memories of motherland. At Comis Russian import market, all are welcome. We put the nick in Nick-o-Nack.
Okay, we're back. Boy, this is a first. You talk about first, Rich. I don't know what happened to Vic, but we had to call 911 and I hope he's going to be alright.

(01:05:04):
Yeah, I don't know. I mean, my suggestion for him would just be to get high on yourself.
I was trying to tell him that in the green room, but then he started putting the wig on. That is a wig, I guess. I found out.
Vic apparently got high on himself, and he might be dead.

(01:05:27):
That would be disappointing, but is that the first death we would have here?
Well, I guess it would be. My primary concern, of course, for Vic's family and whatnot, but do you know what the homeowner's liability is on that?
It's not huge.
It was his choice to come here and die at a performance.

(01:05:50):
Well, he's kind of like a crooner, right?
Yeah, yeah.
So I think once the crooners hit Y2K, then they're kind of on their own in terms of responsibility for their well-being.
Y2K type thing. It's like in the 20th century, the crooners had anything they wanted, but it's a different story now.

(01:06:11):
It'll be like the Boomers once we hit about 2024 or so. We won't be responsible for their well-being anymore.
We won't?
No.
I don't know who the fuck's going to pay attention to them, but they're going to have to find something.
They're going to need...
Because it seems to be the lifeblood.
Well, maybe by then they'll all know how to do their own YouTube show, and then everyone will be fine.

(01:06:35):
Well, then God help us all, I guess.
Well, I think everyone will be off YouTube, but you know, it's like the face...
Anyway, we're going to...
You know, I never got over Muchos Grande, but...
Oh, I still have my... MySpaces are still out there somewhere.
Oh, yeah.
I have like five of them.
I found some amazing pictures of my cat on MySpace.
Really? Yes.

(01:06:56):
Yeah, VeraCats.
Is it VeraCats?
VeraCats over...
Is it young VeraCats?
Young VeraCats, yeah.
Wow.
So she started on MySpace and is now a Facebooker.
She did.
Oh, yeah, she's a big Facebooker.
That's how she ran her last couple of elections. That's how she gets the...
I guess the volunteers, she rounds them up on Facebook.
Well, the Boomers missed all that MySpace, I noticed, you know?

(01:07:19):
Oh, yeah.
They missed it, but then they found Facebook.
No, MySpace was an interesting one, too.
Well, there's that friend, Tom.
Right.
Whatever happened to Tom?
I don't know. I used to hear from him all the time.
He was like my one friend for like a couple of years.
I couldn't get any other friends.
I had some pretty deep interactions with Tom, and then I...

(01:07:41):
You know, of course, this is like three or four emails ago for me, too.
So I may be getting all these messages from him, and I wouldn't...
Oh, yeah, I appreciated his companionship online in those early days.
Well, listen, we're going to...
We're going to do... I meant to... I hit the wrong button.
I wanted to make sure that you can call or text 555.

(01:08:03):
That's not SSS, which I don't know what that would mean, but Social Security Services.
The Super Secret Service?
Oh, could be one of those Illuminati things that my mom was talking about.
You know, I want to hear what your mom has to say about the Pentavarant.
Oh, and yeah, yeah, and is she still here? I think she left.
I saw her creeping around even though she was threatening to leave.

(01:08:26):
You know, that's the Cunningham Goodbye we used to call it.
I think she spotted one of those sound guys smoking some weed out back,
and she had to get her anti-drug message to those guys.
This is a no-drug show. You can see what happened with Vic.
Very, very bad stuff there, kids. Stay away from it.
That was most unfortunate.
So speaking of which...
Speaking of which, I'm going to take a little...

(01:08:47):
You know, I think what happened is he thought that song was Pee in Yourself.
Pee in Yourself?
Yeah, and so he just...
Right, which is kind of what a lot of aging rock stars get to that point.
Yeah, and it's something the kids are into usually until they're about three or so, right?
And then they get into it online, I guess, at 25 or something, these diaper parties.

(01:09:08):
I don't even know. Only in the context of our current commander-in-chief.
Oh, right. Yeah.
You know, I don't want to spread rumors,
but some of the people I was talking with that we do business, the Russians,
they were telling me they've got some...
a whole bunch of, like, a videotape library,
and it's of every celebrity that got famous in America from 1981 to 92.

(01:09:35):
They apparently have the goods on everybody.
And then the little thing called...
The Cold War ended, and they lost all their access, so it's all kind of...
But yeah, there's some good old clips.
Tom Cruise, Mary Lou Retton.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, all sorts of stuff out there.
You know, I was going to say, you know, she was hungover when she fell,
but I was thinking of Mary Decker Slaney.

(01:09:58):
Oh, another three-named Mary. Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, listen, on that note...
From 1984 to 1984.
We're going to come back with some more 80s trivia.
We will come back. I promise we'll come back.
We're just going to do a little thing, what they call the business,
they call filler.
So this is our filler reel, and you might have seen some of this already,

(01:10:19):
but it is a telethon, and we're going to be going until all night,
I think 4 a.m., until the money is raised that we need.
You know, Jeff, I don't know if you'd heard that I've offered to match all donations.
Oh, look at that. Look at that.
Rich Rees, our fabulous musical director, will match every donation that we get
over here at 5.55.

(01:10:41):
Up to 4.20.
Up to 4.20 will be matched at 5.55. Rich Rees.
Yep.
OK, well, let's take a look at some of our filler material,
and we'll see what that's got happening.
And we'll be back. Don't know when, so keep that YouTube channel handy,
because we might just pop in any time, any minute with something.

(01:11:03):
Yeah, you won't even be able to tell what's live and what's not.
Yeah, that's enough.

(01:11:37):
I'm a man without conviction I'm a man who doesn't know how to say

(01:12:02):
I'm a man without a conviction You come and go
Come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come and go
I know, you're coming home
Love music, you're calling out my dreams

(01:12:26):
Red, gold and green, red, gold and green
Can't you hear your wicked words every day?
Can't you used to be so sweet? I heard you say
That my love, my addiction

(01:12:48):
Have become, ever strong
Where do you go? You're gone forever
You're strong enough
Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on
You're a million, becoming your own

(01:13:12):
Becoming your own
Tell me is it because you love my dreams?
Let go of me, let go of me
Everyday is like some kind of
You're my lover, you're my ride

(01:13:37):
Everyday is like somebody
You're my lover, you're my ride
I'm a man without convictions
I'm a man who doesn't know
Love to see you with contradictions

(01:14:02):
You can't look away, you can't read my mind

(01:14:24):
Love is in your heart, love is in your heart
Becoming your own
You're a million, becoming your own

(01:14:45):
Becoming your own
Becoming your own
Tell me is it because you love my dreams?
Let go of me, let go of me
Everyday is like some kind of

(01:15:08):
You call me blue, you call me blue
When the breeze comes in my dreams
Red, gold and green, red, gold and green
You call me blue, you call me blue

(01:15:39):
Oh yes, I'm the great pretender

(01:16:00):
Pretend, pretend that I'm doing well
My need is such, I pretend too much
I'm lonely but no one can tell

(01:16:22):
Oh yes, I'm the great pretender
Tell me that you're in love
Play the game, I pretend too much

(01:16:44):
I'm the moving place like a crown
Pretend that you're still around
Too real, I feel what my heart believes

(01:17:05):
Real, I'll split my heart
Can't you see I'm lost
I'm the great pretender
Just let me get high like a cloud

(01:17:26):
I seem to be what I'm dying to see
I'm wearing you in my heart like a crown
Pretending that you're still around

(01:17:47):
Too real, this feeling of making believe
Real, I feel what my heart can't take
I'm the great pretender

(01:18:09):
Just let me get high like a cloud
Play the game, I pretend too much
I'm wearing you in my heart like a crown

(01:18:30):
Pretending that you're still around
Too real

(01:19:07):
I told you we'd find a time to rest
You can't get us to hurry
I can take the time

(01:19:29):
I'm going crazy
I'm talking time
I'm like a haze
I'm not getting dry
Let's spend the night together
Now I need you more than ever

(01:19:52):
Let's spend the night together now
I feel so strong that I can't disguise
I just can't apologize

(01:20:16):
Oh baby I'm going crazy
I'm talking time
I'm like a haze
I'm not getting dry

(01:20:38):
I'm trying to play it now
I got the thing
I'm playing it now
I got the sign

(01:21:00):
I'm running around
I'm getting tired of being so lonely

(01:21:23):
Don't excuse me I feel alright
Well oh my
I'm getting tired of being so lonely
Now I know you're saying that to me

(01:21:46):

(01:22:09):

(01:22:39):

(01:23:09):
Working here of seven to eleven every night

(01:23:37):
I working to seven to eleven every night
I don't think that's right
I really never been the best of fools
I did what I could yeah
One and two and I did all so

(01:23:59):
Girl I love you darling I love you baby
Oh girl, oh girl
Oh baby since I've been loving you
I'm about to lose my worried mind
Oh yeah

(01:24:48):
Ah

(01:25:12):
Ah
I'm about to lose my worried mind

(01:25:43):
Ah
Ah

(01:26:14):
Ah
Ah

(01:26:48):
Ah
Beth I hear you calling

(01:27:10):
But I can't come home right now
Me and the boys are playing
And we just can't find the sound
Just a few more hours
And I'll be right home to you
I think I hear them calling

(01:27:34):
Oh Beth what can I do
Beth what can I do
You say you feel so empty
Better house just say you're home
I'm always somewhere else
And you're always there alone

(01:27:59):
Just a few more hours
And I'll be right home to you
I think I hear them calling
Oh Beth what can I do
Beth what can I do
Beth

(01:28:48):
Something in the way she moves
Attracts me like no other lover
Somewhere in the way she moves me

(01:29:14):
I don't want to even count
You know I believe in her
Somewhere in the way she moves
But I believe in no other lover

(01:29:44):
Somewhere in the style that shows me

(01:30:08):
You're asking me will I let go
I don't know you
I don't know
You stick around now
When you might show
I don't know

(01:30:32):
I don't know

(01:31:01):
Somewhere in the way she moves

(01:31:22):
And all I have to do is think of her
Somewhere in the way she shows me

(01:32:05):
I did at the reception
A glass of wine in her hand
I knew she'd meet her connection
And her fate was a follow span

(01:32:27):
No you can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
If you try sometimes

(01:32:48):
You're just not kind
You can't always get what you need
I did at the reception

(01:33:11):
And my glass of wine
I knew she'd meet her connection
And her fate was a follow span

(01:33:33):

(01:33:56):
What you need

(01:34:25):

(01:34:48):
What you need

(01:35:11):

(01:35:35):
What you need
What you need

(01:36:02):
Sorry to inform you of that.
But you know, sometimes you just get what you want.
And that's what we're going to do tonight.
We're going to get something we want done tonight.
We've got an anti-drug theme message.
We're going to be back June 25th, perhaps with a really, really special surprise guest.
So thank you for joining us.
We'll be back next month, last Monday's of the month.

(01:36:25):
You can always get what you want.
You can always get what you want.
No, you can't.
You can't always get what you want.
If you try sometime, you try sometime.

(01:36:49):
Just try something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

(01:37:27):
Yeah.

(01:37:57):
Yeah.
Yeah.

(01:38:31):
Yeah.
Yeah.

(01:39:05):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.

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