TRIGGER WARNING: This is a Ha'penny Horrid 'Hursday episode. "Horrid" as in "horror." Thursday is the day we do all the grimdark, grisly, horrifying stories. If murders, war crimes, parricides, and other awful stuff are not something you are interested in hearing about, even 200 years later — feel free to skip this episode and circle back this coming Sunday for the regular Penny Dreadful Variety Hour, when this podcast will be back to being a bright, sunny romp through Penny Dreadful stories!
A half-hour- long 'Hursday Horrid Minisode IN WHICH —
0:03:45: TERRIBLE TIDBIT OF THE DAY for August 7:
- A melancholy account of a young girl who, convinced she would be happier in Heaven, murdered her baby niece, on Aug. 14, 1850.
0:05:10: THE TERRIFIC REGISTER:
- Story of a sailor who drew a knife and dove overboard to retrieve the legs of his dead mess-mate, which the shark had bitten off, and avenge his death.
- A summary of all the times, in medieval England, that a convict was sentenced to have a hand cut off.
- A slightly-less-horrid account of a child, thought to be dead, who revived on the mortuary slab.
0:17:40: THE CRIME, CONFESSION AND EXECUTION OF ROBERT EMOND, THE HADDINGTON MURDERER (a broadsheet ballad).
- Jealous and angry in the wake of a business setback, Robert Emond murdered his sister-in-law, then bludgeoned her daughter to death to keep her quiet. He was hanged for the crimes on March 17, 1830.
Join host Finn J.D. John. for a half-hour-long spree through the darkest and loathliest stories seen on the streets of early-Victorian London! Grab a flicker of blue ruin, switch off your mirror neurons, and let's go!
GLOSSARY OF FLASH TERMS USED IN THIS EPISODE:
- Hop merchant: Dancing-teacher.
- Rum buffer: Jolly host.
- Tears o' the tankard: Strong ale.
- Scandal-broth: Tea.
- Cat lap: Tea.
- Scragging: Hanging.
- Kiddies and kiddiesses: Flash lads and lasses
- Sherry off: To leave, in a tolerable hurry. A corruption of "sheer off."
- Flats: Suckers.
- Chaffing: Talking and bantering while taking a glass or two.
- Knight of the brush and moon: Drunken fellow wandering amok in fields and ditches trying to stagger home.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:06):
As I was walking on London St. 1misty morning early, I heard a
very young man in the right. Lord save me in the light of
Georgie. Top of the evening to all you
rum buffers, hop merchants and nights of the brush and moon.
I'm your host Finn JD John welcoming you back to the
(00:29):
Chafing Crib for a Hapeny HorridHers Day half hour episode on
the Penny Dreadful Hour podcast.The Hapeny.
Horrid Half Hour is the show in which we do all the horrid blood
soaked, gore spattered stories so that our more squeamish
friends and those with functioning mirror neurons can
skip over the blood and guts bits.
(00:50):
Tonight is the last. Episode of Season 2.
It's also the Last Thursday showthat won't include a chapter
reading from one of our dreadfuls.
I've tweaked the weekly scheduleas Skosh and I think this puts
us in our final form, so I thought I'd start a new season
to reflect that. Welcome to Season 3, or well
after tonight. Let me take a quick minute to
(01:12):
bring you up to speed like an early Victorian James Pumphrey.
The show cycle. Is one week.
It includes an hour long show onSundays and half hour shows on
Tuesday and Thursday nights. Sunday is the 6.
Penny Spooky Hour show now in two parts, the first half of
which is anchored around a chapter reading from one of our
7 penny dreadfuls, which is, youno doubt know by now, are the
(01:35):
mysteries of London, Sweeney Todd, Varney the Vampire, Dick.
Turpin Spring Heeled. Jack the Black Band and the
Ballet girls Revenge. The second-half will be anchored
with an early Victorian ghost story that is the new addition
to the lineup. A short storyline, not another
novel or serial, although I willbe having to break them into two
or three parts to avoid blowing our time limits.
(01:58):
Tuesday is the Tupany Terrible Demi Hour show, anchored by a
penny dreadful chapter reading and accompanied by the week's
more salacious stuff. Explicit saloon songs, dirty
jokes and stuff like that. Anytime you see an episode
marked explicit, you can be sureit's a Tupany Terrible Tuesday
episode. So that's basically the same as
it has been in season 2. Thursday, same deal.
(02:20):
It's the hapony horrid half hourshow accompanied by another
Penny Dreadful chapter reading, but accompanied also by the more
grim and dark stuff like horror stories, grisly murders, war
crimes and deeds. Oh blood.
If you see a trigger warning at the top of an episode, it's for
sure a hapony horrid half hour. On both Tuesday and Thursdays we
are going to start immediately off with the chapter reading
(02:42):
from the Penny Dreadful, so thatif you prefer not to be exposed
to the salacious or horrifying content, you can just skip ahead
to the next one. So that'll be the lineup.
Starting this Sunday. Meanwhile, here we are on our
last. Thursday night show for season 2
and it's a work night right? So maybe go easy on the tiers of
(03:02):
the tankard tonight. Maybe a nice saucer cup full of
cat lap. Here's what we've got in.
Store for tonight. First we'll get today's terrible
Tidbit of the Day with Dickens Dreadful Almanac.
Then we'll be tucking. Into a few.
Of the grizzlier stories from the Terrific Register, brace for
(03:22):
some pretty vivid word pictures.A sailor gets bitten in half and
then we get about a 5 minute report on amputation as a form
of criminal punishment. And then we're moving on to some
more rays of sunshine with our broadsheet ballot reading.
Finally, we'll get a palate cleanser in the form of a
handful of clean, generally dumbjokes from Joe Miller's Jests or
the Wits Vade Meekum. So yeah, let's get to it.
(03:47):
We're starting the festivities off with an appetizer in the
shape of today's terrible Tidbitof the Day.
These words you probably know bynow.
We're actually written by Charles Dickens.
I know Dickens. Yeah, he's a little more
upmarket than we usually go. But he wasn't always writing
Victorian masterpieces like David Copperfield and Little
Dorrit. From 1850 to 1859, he was the
(04:08):
editor of Household Words magazine.
And it's from household. Words that these little tidbits
are taken by History Press editor Kate Ludlow and collected
in 2010 into a terrific little book.
Terrific in every sense of the word, Titled Dickens Dreadful
Almanac, subtitled A Terrible Event for Every Day of the Year.
Well today is a day of the year,so here is our terrible event
(04:31):
for the day. August 14th A young girl named
Amelia Snoswell murdered the child of her sister, Missus
Cooper, an infant of 18 months old at Gravesend on the 14th.
The infant had been put to bed along with another child, when
the girl went into the room witha knife and cut its throat.
(04:53):
She then returned to her sister and said, I have killed her now
and she is happy. She had always been affectionate
to the child, but had lately shown symptoms of mental
derangement. She was committed for trial.
OK, now let's continue this horrid hers day with a horrible
(05:14):
article from the terrific Register.
Brace yourself. This one will be grim and dark
and gnarly. Although actually not.
Quite as grim and. Dark as the terrible tidbit.
Actually, it's a trio of horrible articles from the
terrific Register. Brace yourself.
These will be grim and dark and gnarly, some more so than
others. Engagement between a sailor and
(05:39):
a shark In the latter part of Queen Anne's reign, the sailors
on board the York merchant to Collier having disembarked the
last part of their lading at Barbados.
Those who had been employed in that dirty work ventured into
the sea to wash themselves, but had not been long there before
(06:00):
A. Person on.
Board observed a large shark making towards them and gave
them notice of their danger, whereupon they swam back.
And all but one reached the boat.
Him the shark overtook almost within reach of the oars, and
gripping him by the small of theback, his devouring jaws.
Soon cut him asunder. And as soon as he had swallowed
(06:21):
the lower part of his body, the remaining part was taken up and
carried on board where his comrade.
Was the friendship. Between him and the deceased had
long been distinguished by a reciprocal discharge of all such
endearing offices. As implied, A.
Union and sympathy of souls. On seeing the severed trunk of
his friend, he was filled with horror and emotion too great to
(06:44):
be expressed by words. During this affecting scene, the
insatiable shark was observed traversing the bloody surface,
searching after the remainder ofhis prey.
The rest of the crew thought themselves happy and being.
Aboard, he alone was. Unhappy at his not being within
reach of the destroyer fired at the site, and vowing that he
(07:05):
would make the devourer disgorgeor be swallowed himself, he
plunged into the deep, armed with a sharp pointed knife.
The shark no sooner saw him, buthe made furiously toward him
both. Equally eager, the One.
For his prey and the other for revenge, the.
Moment the shark opened. His rapacious jaws, his
adversary dexterously diving andgrasping him.
(07:27):
By his left hand. Somewhat below the upper.
Fins successfully employed. His knife in his right hand,
giving him repeated stabs in thebelly, the enraged shark after
many unavailing efforts. Finding.
Himself overmatched in his own. Element endeavored to disengage.
Himself sometimes plunging to the bottom and then mad with
pain. Rearing his uncouth.
(07:48):
Form above the foaming. Waves stained with his own
streaming. Blood, the shark, much weakened
by the loss of. Blood made.
Towards the shore and with him his conqueror, who, flushed with
an assurance of victory, pushed his foe with redoubled ardor,
and by the help of an ebbing. Tide dragged him on shore.
Ripped up his bowels and united and buried the severed body of
(08:11):
his friend in one grave. Ancient punishment of cutting
off the hand. The following is extracted from
an old record quote. On the 13th June, AD 1541, Sir
(08:31):
Edmund Knevett was arraigned before the King's Justices,
sitting in the Great Hall of Greenwich, for striking of one
master Clerk of Norfolk, servantto the Earl of Surrey, within
the King's house in the tennis court.
Sir Edmund, being found guilty, had judgement to lose his right
hand, whereupon were called to do the execution.
(08:52):
One the Sergeant Shurignon with his instrument up pertaining to
his office. 2 The Sergeant of the.
Woodyard with the. Mallet and the block, whereupon
the hand should lie. 3 The master cook of the King with the
knife. 4 The Sergeant. Of the larder to set the knife.
Right on the joint five. The Sergeant Ferrier with his
(09:12):
searing irons to sear the veins 6.
The Sergeant of the Poultry witha.
Cock. Which cock should have his head?
Smitten. Off upon the same block with the
same knife. 7 The Yeoman of Chandri with seer clothes. 8 The
Yeoman of the scullery with a pan of fire to heat the irons.
A chafer of water to cool the ends of the irons.
(09:32):
In two forms for all officers. To set their stuff on.
Nine of the Sergeant of the Cellar, with wine, ale and beer.
10 The Yeoman of the Ewery. In the Sergeant.
'S stead, who was absent with basin ewer and towels.
Thus every man in his office ready to do the execution.
There was called forth Sir William Pickering Marshall to
(09:54):
bring in the said Sir Edmund, and when he was brought to the
bar, the Chief Justice declared to him his offence, and the said
Knievot, confessing himself to be guilty, humbly submitted
himself to the King's. Mercy then, Sir Edmund.
Desired that the king of his benign favor would pardon.
Him of his right. Hand and take the left for quoth
he if my. Right hand be spared.
(10:16):
I may hereafter do such good service to His Grace.
AS shall please him to appoint of this submission.
And request the justices informing the king he of his
great goodness granted him a free.
Pardon Editor's Note. The free pardon makes.
It sound like he gets to Kee both his hands, but I'm not
quite sure that that is what is intended.
(10:36):
The good old days, am I right? Continuing the article, the next
instance of note seems to. Be that of Wilkins.
Flower, a monk and priest in thereign of Queen Mary who on
Easter Sunday in the second yearof Queen Mary.
Struck and wounded. John Cheltam, a priest
administering the sacrament at the altar of Saint Margaret's
Church, Westminster, with a woodknife whereby the chalice was
(10:59):
sprinkled with. Blood, whereupon he was.
On Saint Mark's Eve brought to the place of martyrdom, which
was in Saint Margaret's churchyard, Westminster, where
the fact was committed there coming up to the stake.
Where he should be. Burned his right hand being held
up against. It was struck off.
His left hand being fastened behind him, at which striking
(11:21):
off of his hand some that were present, and purposely observing
the same, credibly declared thathe in no part of his body did
once shrink. Peter Burchett, a prisoner in
the Tower, struck within that fortress John Longworth, his
keeper, with a billet on the head behind, whereby blood was
shed and death instantly unsued,for which he was.
(11:41):
Attained and before his. Execution office at Somerset
House, Strand. His right hand was stricken off
by virtue of statute 33. Henry 8, Chapter 12.
In the reign of Queen. Elizabeth, a felon at the bar,
was indicted for flinging a stone at a judge who was sitting
upon the bench, and sentenced upon his conviction to have his
(12:02):
hand cut off, which was accordingly done.
The following seem rather remarkable.
Cases in point John Stubbs, a barrister of Lincoln's Inn, the
author of a book written and published against the marriage
of Queen Elizabeth with the Duke.
Of Anjou. In a most satirical.
Style titled The Gulf wherein. England will be swallowed by the
French marriage. And.
(12:22):
William Page, the publisher, were both sentenced that their
right hands should be cut off, which was accordingly done by a
cleaver driven through the wristby means of a.
Mallet upon a scaffold. In the marketplace at
Westminster. Stubbs The.
Lawyer, after his right hand wascut off, put off his hat with
the left and said in a loud voice, God.
(12:43):
Save the Queen. The multitude standing about
says the. Historian was profoundly silent.
Either out of horror at this newand unwanted kind of punishment,
or else out of hatred to the marriage which most men presaged
would be the overthrow of religion.
Charles and his Prime Minister. Loud were both for having.
The hand of Felton cut off, withwhich he.
(13:04):
Murdered George Villiers. The Duke of Buckingham, but the
court as became them, and much to their.
Honor unanimously answered. That it could not be legally
done a condemned. Felon flung a brick.
Bat at Sir Thomas Richardson, Chief Justice of the bench at
Salisbury, 31 August, 1631, Summer Assisa's seven car, one
(13:26):
for which he was immediately indicted, and being convicted,
his right hand was cut off and affixed to the gibbet, on which
the felon himself was immediately hanged in the
presence of the court. James Mitchell was punished with
the loss of his right hand for basically attempting to shoot
Sharp, Archbishop of Saint Andrews in Scotland, such an
attempt at assassination being so punished by the law of that
(13:48):
Kingdom in the reign of Charles the Second.
It seems rather remarkable that.Though 8 persons only suffered
this cruel punishment from the time of King Alfred, about the
year 875, down to Charles the Second, AD 1677.
Containing a period of about 8. Centuries and a half 1/2 of them
occurred in the happy reign of our Queen Elizabeth, and two of
(14:11):
them were brother lawyers. An infant restored to life after
apparent death. The following case was
communicated in a letter to the directors of the Royal Humane
Society from Mr. Brown, Surgeon of Camberwell.
It being my intention to avoid. Prolixity and confine myself.
(14:32):
To a concise statement of the direct fact, I shall begin with
informing you, gentlemen, that the uncle of the child, after a
servitude of nine years at Bath,was discharged.
From the family in. Consequence of his mind.
Being deranged the effect of a severe.
Illness, upon which he came up to his brother John Faulkner.
#15 St. Mary Lebone for.
(14:53):
Protection and support which were kindly afforded him on
Monday afternoon, the 10th in. Stand he.
Quitted the house, taking with him his brother's son, a child
of six years. And strayed to Camberwell and
its environs. The child, being exhausted with
fatigue as well as in want of nutriment, exposed to the cold
and a heavy rain, became unable to walk.
(15:13):
He therefore took him up and threw him over his back,
suspending him by the heels. In this situation, they were
discovered in the High Road by the.
Watchman at about 4:00 on Tuesday.
Morning the man being remonstrated with he changed the
position of the child, took him in his arms, and went.
Away about 6. The same morning he was seen
near the red cap on Camberwell Green by Mr. Spencer.
(15:36):
A. Bricklayer of the village, with
the child again suspended at hisback, apparently dead.
This unusual sight induced him to call some of his neighbors to
his aid, and the man being takeninto.
Custody with the apparently lifeless.
Child to the public house, where, very much to the credit
of Mr. O'keens, who keeps it? The body was received with the
utmost humanity and tender concern, it being deemed
(15:59):
expedient to send for the parochial Beadle.
Mr. Rickwood. Attended, and on examining the
body which was laid upon one of the tap room.
Tables to all appearances. Dead.
He gave charge of the man to Mr.O'keens and the persons present,
coming himself to me to inspect.The corpse and give my opinion.
Thereon it was half past. 7 whenI got there and examined the
(16:19):
apparently. Dead child, state of the body,
his extremities cold, his eyes fixed, the arterial circulation
suspended, vitality apparently extinct.
Under such depressed circumstances there could hardly
be a hope entertained of a reanimation.
However, I determined to attemptit according to the.
Methods and by the means prescribed in the formula.
Of our most excellent institution, the resuscitative
(16:43):
process was most assiduously employed for a full 30 minutes
before the least signs of life could be discovered.
At length of feeble and irregular pulsation was
produced, which, continuing gradually to get stronger, I
insinuated a small quantity of volatile spirits into the
stomach, which brought on repeated spasms of a very short
duration. From that time the powers of
(17:04):
life increasing, and irregular convulsive motion of the
extremities came on, soon after which he rapidly recovered, and
was taken in hot flannels to theworkhouse, where he received
some proper nourishment and humane attention.
He then slept nearly an hour anda half, when, waking greatly
relieved, he again took his refreshment, and was soon
afterwards conveyed to his friends, who had been in the
(17:26):
most painful state of mind, respecting both him and his
uncle. The parental feelings on this
occasion may be conceived, but not easily described.
Her last? Hurrah, today is there's going
to be a brace of broadsheet ballads, one of those single
sheets of low quality paper witha song and sometimes a story
(17:47):
printed on it, which were sold on the streets for a Farthing or
a hapenny. Broadsheet ballads.
Were printed up to commemorate especially heinous crimes.
The dastardly villain murdering his mistress after having gotten
her pregnant was an especially popular topic and the execution
of high profile criminals, so they tend to be either spicy or
grizzly or both. I've got two of them for you
(18:10):
today, both on the topic of Robert Aymond, the Haddington
murderer. Robert Aymond was hanged on
March 17th 1830 for the brutal murders of Catherine Franks, his
sister-in-law, and her teenage daughter Magdalene in a village
near Haddington in Scotland. The two victims were found by
neighbors who were attracted by the squealing of the family pig
(18:31):
which hadn't been fed for some time.
They found Catherines body in the pig stye with her throat
slashed and in the house Magdalene had been beaten to
death. The house had been ransacked,
apparently to make it look like a robbery.
It turned out Robert's wife, also named Magdalene, was a
successful businesswoman and Robert had suffered some
business failures. He'd asked his wife for a loan,
(18:53):
she'd refused, and it had touched off a screaming row that
had escalated to wife beating and attempted murder when he
tried to throw her down a well. During the argument, Missus Amon
told Robert that she thought he had stolen money from her and
her sister, Missus Franks. A few days later, he apparently
went into a murderous rage. He tried to tell the jury that
he was innocent of the crime andthat the blood found on his
(19:15):
clothing was from a Nosebleed, or maybe from the chicken he'd
killed for the pot that made before.
But. He'd tracked.
Blood all over the Frank's housein the town.
Cobbler recognized the hobnail patterns after his conviction.
He confessed following several unsuccessful suicide attempts,
was scragged on schedule. Let's get the story from the
execution broadside first. Execution, An account of the
(19:42):
execution of Robert Amond, who was executed this morning, March
17th, 1830, at the head of Liberton's Wind for the murder
of Misses Franks and her daughter at Haddington on
October last. This morning, Wednesday 17th
March, Robert Amond suffered thelast sentence of the law at the
usual place of execution, Head of Liberton's wind.
(20:03):
Since this unhappy culprits trial, he has at different times
made various confessions of his guilt and the reasons which
prompted him to commit the horrid.
Deeds he seems to. Have brought himself to think
that he was utterly despised by Missus Franks and his wife, and
on being opposed by them in any of his foolish speculations in
trade, although for his own ultimate.
(20:23):
Good was considered. By him, as resulting from that
deep rooted apathy, as he thought that they treated him
with. Thus circumstance after
circumstance only served still more to impress upon his
bewildered mind the false ideas with which he nourished it.
And at last, so overpowering were there fell effects, that
revenge now took full possessionof his breast.
(20:44):
It would appear from his confessions that he had no
intention to take the life of Magdalene Franks, but after
having committed the one deed heto avoid discovery, committed
the second. His sister repeatedly visited
him in the jail. She had come to Edinburgh
previous to the trial. Her visits were in no way made
to console her guilty brother. But rather to grapple.
(21:04):
At any effects he was in possession of, as she said, to
pay the heavy expense to which she had been put in attending
his trial, et cetera. His brother, a blind man, was
very much affected at meeting and parting with him.
His mother, about 10 days back, came to Edinburgh and some
affecting scenes passed between them.
She seems to. Have had more partiality for
(21:26):
Amon than the rest of the family.
She is about 70 and got home in better health and was
anticipated. Different reports were spread
about of Amon's attempts to commit suicide, which, from his
manner and restlessness, as we have no doubt but he would have
done so. But in addition to his being
strongly ironed, Watchmen were placed with him night and day,
(21:46):
and the strict search made on the persons of any of his
friends who were admitted to him.
In fact, he could not make the least motion or move himself,
but the eyes of his watchers were upon him.
Indeed, one attempt was made to convey a deadly poison to him by
a near female relation, but she was immediately detected.
Eamon showed repeatedly what must be the awful state of a
(22:07):
murderer's mind. His nights were passed in broken
slumbers from which he generallyawaked in hurried starts,
betraying an awful state of mindwhich he felt himself quite
unable to describe. In the daytime he exhibited the
same restlessness and unease, and was haunted by The Phantoms
of his bleeding victims, until his mind, overwhelmed by
midnight visions and daydreams of guilt and punishment, became
(22:31):
excited to a state bordering on frenzy, under the influence of
which he talked wildly and incoherently.
But these paroxysms were seldom of long continuance, as he
generally found relief in tears,and when his mind was somewhat
eased he resumed his natural manner.
He did not seem much concerned when the murder of Misses Franks
was mentioned, but whenever the name of Magdalene Franks was
(22:53):
mentioned, or the name came across his mind, he was
immediately seized with the mostdreadful fits of despair.
And exclaimed the innocent. Blood calls for vengeance.
He paid attention to the clergy and others who spoke to him on
religious matters, and received them with great civility, and
even dwelt upon the subject stated with.
A kind of seeming. Inward pleasure.
He had some peculiar. Opinions of his own which,
(23:15):
though absurd, he strongly clungto.
Amond was. Previously brought from the
Colton jail to the lock up house, he was awakened about
6:00 and spent the time till nearly 8 preparing himself for
his awful end. When he was told the magistrates
were in readiness for him, he quietly submitted to his arms
being fastened. They moved up Liberton's wind at
(23:35):
a few minutes past 8. The crowd assembled was great
and the general movement was made when he ascended the
scaffold. A short time only was spent in
prayer etcetera. When he mounted the drop and I'm
giving the final signal, was instantly launched into
eternity. And now the broadsheet.
Ballad that was printed up and distributed to the onlookers at
(23:56):
the execution amond the Haddington.
Murderer, O heard ye that shriek.
From yon dark cell of sorrow tisAmon, the murderer, who dies on
the Morrow. He dreams of the dead who rises
before him. And tortures his soul, as in
wrath they bend o'er him. His crime is confessed, and he
mourns. Broken hearted, his hopes and
(24:17):
his joys are forever departed. He thinks of his.
Parent of the mourner so hoary, who joyed in her son as her
story and glory. Oh little, she thought.
Well, in childhood caressing shekissed her sweet boy with a
mother's fond blessing that murder would stain the white
hand that OFT pressed her and the gallows tree end all on
earth that had blessed her. So dark was the deed that the
(24:40):
monster committed to a savage revenge that his fury had wetted
with 10 frightful gashes. The mother and daughter lay
bleeding to death like 2 lambs at the slaughter.
But curse not in wrath, there isroom for your pity.
A weep for the Wretch who has swerved from his duty.
The ghosts of the friends whom he butchered surround him and
the terrors of death and the judgement confound him.
(25:06):
Well just about wraps up this hapony, horrid Hers day episode
of the Penny Dreadful Variety show.
Before we move on to our usual handful of lame early Victorian
dad jokes, let me take a minute to bring you up to speed on
what's coming three nights hencein next weeks Penny Dreadful
Story, our main show. 1st on themenu we'll have Chapter 17 of
(25:27):
Spring Heeled Jack, the Terror of London by Alfred Coats from
1866. In which Richard.
Clavering tries to bluster his way out, but it's not a good
look, looming over the unconscious lady with a knife.
In his first, Jack unmasks, and we learned that he and Clavering
know each other socially. So did Jack overhear the part?
(25:47):
About the loaded dice. What will he do if he.
Does and what will. Happen to poor Jesse, the naive
young girl he debauched and now wants to cast aside TuneIn, and
we'll find out. Next, we'll have a weekly
Victorian. Ghost Story.
This is something new. That we're just starting this
week. It's a spectacular little story
titled An Account of Some Strange Disturbances in Angier
(26:09):
Street by J Sheridan Lafanu, first published in 1851.
It's long, so we're going to have to split it into two parts,
1 next week and one the week after.
All that, plus more flash can't words and bad jokes and sundry
other early Victorian fun is coming your way this Sunday
night, all at Dick Turpin's scragging Hour 537, or 1737
(26:32):
Military Time. Before we.
Polish off this episode, let's see what we can find in the way
of inspiration from Joe Miller'sjoke book.
Granted, it's a horrid hers day,but every touch of Gray needs a
little bit of silver lining, right?
So light a candle, curse the glare, and let's do this.
A Welshman bragging of his family said his father's effigy
(26:55):
was set up in Westminster Abbey,being asked whereabouts he.
Said in the same. Monument with Squire Finns, for
he was his coachman. The person was saying, not at
all to the purpose that Samson was a very strong man.
I said another, but you are muchstronger, for you make nothing
of lugging him in by the head and shoulders, my Lord.
(27:18):
Strangeford, who stammered very much, was telling a certain
Bishop that sat at his table that Balaam's ass spoke because
he was. Pre priest priesthood, Sir.
Said a valet de chambre who stood behind the chair.
My Lord would say no, friend, replied the Bishop.
Balaam could not speak himself and so his ass spoke.
For him. The same noble Lord asked the
(27:40):
clergyman once at the bottom of his table, why the goose, if
there really was one, was alwaysplaced next to the Parson.
Really, said he. I can give no reason for it, but
your question is so odd I shall never see a goose for the future
without thinking of your lordship.
Well, that's it for today. Our hapenny horrid Hersday theme
(28:01):
music is a version of Geordie, an old English folk ballad about
a poachers hanging dating back to the 1600s.
This version is by Seattle old time band $4.00 Shoe.
For more of their music, just Google $4.00 Shoe.
It'll pop right up no matter howyou spell it.
The Penny Dreadful. Variety Hour is a creation of
pulp lit productions. For more details, see
pulp-lit.com. To get in touch with me, hit me
(28:24):
up at finn@pulp-lit.com. Thanks again for joining me
Kitties and Kitty s s. It's time for us to Sherry off
before the flats catch on for the Penny Dreadful variety show.
I'm Finn, JD, John signing off and now Fairforth and fill up
the rest of the week with Tip Top Stuff.
Bye now.
As I was walking on London St. 1misty morning early, I heard a
very young man in the right. Lord save me in the light of
Georgie. Top of the evening to all you
rum buffers, hop merchants and nights of the brush and moon.
I'm your host Finn JD John welcoming you back to the
(00:29):
Chafing Crib for a Hapeny HorridHers Day half hour episode on
the Penny Dreadful Hour podcast.The Hapeny.
Horrid Half Hour is the show in which we do all the horrid blood
soaked, gore spattered stories so that our more squeamish
friends and those with functioning mirror neurons can
skip over the blood and guts bits.
(00:50):
Tonight is the last. Episode of Season 2.
It's also the Last Thursday showthat won't include a chapter
reading from one of our dreadfuls.
I've tweaked the weekly scheduleas Skosh and I think this puts
us in our final form, so I thought I'd start a new season
to reflect that. Welcome to Season 3, or well
after tonight. Let me take a quick minute to
(01:12):
bring you up to speed like an early Victorian James Pumphrey.
The show cycle. Is one week.
It includes an hour long show onSundays and half hour shows on
Tuesday and Thursday nights. Sunday is the 6.
Penny Spooky Hour show now in two parts, the first half of
which is anchored around a chapter reading from one of our
7 penny dreadfuls, which is, youno doubt know by now, are the
(01:35):
mysteries of London, Sweeney Todd, Varney the Vampire, Dick.
Turpin Spring Heeled. Jack the Black Band and the
Ballet girls Revenge. The second-half will be anchored
with an early Victorian ghost story that is the new addition
to the lineup. A short storyline, not another
novel or serial, although I willbe having to break them into two
or three parts to avoid blowing our time limits.
(01:58):
Tuesday is the Tupany Terrible Demi Hour show, anchored by a
penny dreadful chapter reading and accompanied by the week's
more salacious stuff. Explicit saloon songs, dirty
jokes and stuff like that. Anytime you see an episode
marked explicit, you can be sureit's a Tupany Terrible Tuesday
episode. So that's basically the same as
it has been in season 2. Thursday, same deal.
(02:20):
It's the hapony horrid half hourshow accompanied by another
Penny Dreadful chapter reading, but accompanied also by the more
grim and dark stuff like horror stories, grisly murders, war
crimes and deeds. Oh blood.
If you see a trigger warning at the top of an episode, it's for
sure a hapony horrid half hour. On both Tuesday and Thursdays we
are going to start immediately off with the chapter reading
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from the Penny Dreadful, so thatif you prefer not to be exposed
to the salacious or horrifying content, you can just skip ahead
to the next one. So that'll be the lineup.
Starting this Sunday. Meanwhile, here we are on our
last. Thursday night show for season 2
and it's a work night right? So maybe go easy on the tiers of
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the tankard tonight. Maybe a nice saucer cup full of
cat lap. Here's what we've got in.
Store for tonight. First we'll get today's terrible
Tidbit of the Day with Dickens Dreadful Almanac.
Then we'll be tucking. Into a few.
Of the grizzlier stories from the Terrific Register, brace for
(03:22):
some pretty vivid word pictures.A sailor gets bitten in half and
then we get about a 5 minute report on amputation as a form
of criminal punishment. And then we're moving on to some
more rays of sunshine with our broadsheet ballot reading.
Finally, we'll get a palate cleanser in the form of a
handful of clean, generally dumbjokes from Joe Miller's Jests or
the Wits Vade Meekum. So yeah, let's get to it.
(03:47):
We're starting the festivities off with an appetizer in the
shape of today's terrible Tidbitof the Day.
These words you probably know bynow.
We're actually written by Charles Dickens.
I know Dickens. Yeah, he's a little more
upmarket than we usually go. But he wasn't always writing
Victorian masterpieces like David Copperfield and Little
Dorrit. From 1850 to 1859, he was the
(04:08):
editor of Household Words magazine.
And it's from household. Words that these little tidbits
are taken by History Press editor Kate Ludlow and collected
in 2010 into a terrific little book.
Terrific in every sense of the word, Titled Dickens Dreadful
Almanac, subtitled A Terrible Event for Every Day of the Year.
Well today is a day of the year,so here is our terrible event
(04:31):
for the day. August 14th A young girl named
Amelia Snoswell murdered the child of her sister, Missus
Cooper, an infant of 18 months old at Gravesend on the 14th.
The infant had been put to bed along with another child, when
the girl went into the room witha knife and cut its throat.
(04:53):
She then returned to her sister and said, I have killed her now
and she is happy. She had always been affectionate
to the child, but had lately shown symptoms of mental
derangement. She was committed for trial.
OK, now let's continue this horrid hers day with a horrible
(05:14):
article from the terrific Register.
Brace yourself. This one will be grim and dark
and gnarly. Although actually not.
Quite as grim and. Dark as the terrible tidbit.
Actually, it's a trio of horrible articles from the
terrific Register. Brace yourself.
These will be grim and dark and gnarly, some more so than
others. Engagement between a sailor and
(05:39):
a shark In the latter part of Queen Anne's reign, the sailors
on board the York merchant to Collier having disembarked the
last part of their lading at Barbados.
Those who had been employed in that dirty work ventured into
the sea to wash themselves, but had not been long there before
(06:00):
A. Person on.
Board observed a large shark making towards them and gave
them notice of their danger, whereupon they swam back.
And all but one reached the boat.
Him the shark overtook almost within reach of the oars, and
gripping him by the small of theback, his devouring jaws.
Soon cut him asunder. And as soon as he had swallowed
(06:21):
the lower part of his body, the remaining part was taken up and
carried on board where his comrade.
Was the friendship. Between him and the deceased had
long been distinguished by a reciprocal discharge of all such
endearing offices. As implied, A.
Union and sympathy of souls. On seeing the severed trunk of
his friend, he was filled with horror and emotion too great to
(06:44):
be expressed by words. During this affecting scene, the
insatiable shark was observed traversing the bloody surface,
searching after the remainder ofhis prey.
The rest of the crew thought themselves happy and being.
Aboard, he alone was. Unhappy at his not being within
reach of the destroyer fired at the site, and vowing that he
(07:05):
would make the devourer disgorgeor be swallowed himself, he
plunged into the deep, armed with a sharp pointed knife.
The shark no sooner saw him, buthe made furiously toward him
both. Equally eager, the One.
For his prey and the other for revenge, the.
Moment the shark opened. His rapacious jaws, his
adversary dexterously diving andgrasping him.
(07:27):
By his left hand. Somewhat below the upper.
Fins successfully employed. His knife in his right hand,
giving him repeated stabs in thebelly, the enraged shark after
many unavailing efforts. Finding.
Himself overmatched in his own. Element endeavored to disengage.
Himself sometimes plunging to the bottom and then mad with
pain. Rearing his uncouth.
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Form above the foaming. Waves stained with his own
streaming. Blood, the shark, much weakened
by the loss of. Blood made.
Towards the shore and with him his conqueror, who, flushed with
an assurance of victory, pushed his foe with redoubled ardor,
and by the help of an ebbing. Tide dragged him on shore.
Ripped up his bowels and united and buried the severed body of
(08:11):
his friend in one grave. Ancient punishment of cutting
off the hand. The following is extracted from
an old record quote. On the 13th June, AD 1541, Sir
(08:31):
Edmund Knevett was arraigned before the King's Justices,
sitting in the Great Hall of Greenwich, for striking of one
master Clerk of Norfolk, servantto the Earl of Surrey, within
the King's house in the tennis court.
Sir Edmund, being found guilty, had judgement to lose his right
hand, whereupon were called to do the execution.
(08:52):
One the Sergeant Shurignon with his instrument up pertaining to
his office. 2 The Sergeant of the.
Woodyard with the. Mallet and the block, whereupon
the hand should lie. 3 The master cook of the King with the
knife. 4 The Sergeant. Of the larder to set the knife.
Right on the joint five. The Sergeant Ferrier with his
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searing irons to sear the veins 6.
The Sergeant of the Poultry witha.
Cock. Which cock should have his head?
Smitten. Off upon the same block with the
same knife. 7 The Yeoman of Chandri with seer clothes. 8 The
Yeoman of the scullery with a pan of fire to heat the irons.
A chafer of water to cool the ends of the irons.
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In two forms for all officers. To set their stuff on.
Nine of the Sergeant of the Cellar, with wine, ale and beer.
10 The Yeoman of the Ewery. In the Sergeant.
'S stead, who was absent with basin ewer and towels.
Thus every man in his office ready to do the execution.
There was called forth Sir William Pickering Marshall to
(09:54):
bring in the said Sir Edmund, and when he was brought to the
bar, the Chief Justice declared to him his offence, and the said
Knievot, confessing himself to be guilty, humbly submitted
himself to the King's. Mercy then, Sir Edmund.
Desired that the king of his benign favor would pardon.
Him of his right. Hand and take the left for quoth
he if my. Right hand be spared.
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I may hereafter do such good service to His Grace.
AS shall please him to appoint of this submission.
And request the justices informing the king he of his
great goodness granted him a free.
Pardon Editor's Note. The free pardon makes.
It sound like he gets to Kee both his hands, but I'm not
quite sure that that is what is intended.
(10:36):
The good old days, am I right? Continuing the article, the next
instance of note seems to. Be that of Wilkins.
Flower, a monk and priest in thereign of Queen Mary who on
Easter Sunday in the second yearof Queen Mary.
Struck and wounded. John Cheltam, a priest
administering the sacrament at the altar of Saint Margaret's
Church, Westminster, with a woodknife whereby the chalice was
(10:59):
sprinkled with. Blood, whereupon he was.
On Saint Mark's Eve brought to the place of martyrdom, which
was in Saint Margaret's churchyard, Westminster, where
the fact was committed there coming up to the stake.
Where he should be. Burned his right hand being held
up against. It was struck off.
His left hand being fastened behind him, at which striking
(11:21):
off of his hand some that were present, and purposely observing
the same, credibly declared thathe in no part of his body did
once shrink. Peter Burchett, a prisoner in
the Tower, struck within that fortress John Longworth, his
keeper, with a billet on the head behind, whereby blood was
shed and death instantly unsued,for which he was.
(11:41):
Attained and before his. Execution office at Somerset
House, Strand. His right hand was stricken off
by virtue of statute 33. Henry 8, Chapter 12.
In the reign of Queen. Elizabeth, a felon at the bar,
was indicted for flinging a stone at a judge who was sitting
upon the bench, and sentenced upon his conviction to have his
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hand cut off, which was accordingly done.
The following seem rather remarkable.
Cases in point John Stubbs, a barrister of Lincoln's Inn, the
author of a book written and published against the marriage
of Queen Elizabeth with the Duke.
Of Anjou. In a most satirical.
Style titled The Gulf wherein. England will be swallowed by the
French marriage. And.
(12:22):
William Page, the publisher, were both sentenced that their
right hands should be cut off, which was accordingly done by a
cleaver driven through the wristby means of a.
Mallet upon a scaffold. In the marketplace at
Westminster. Stubbs The.
Lawyer, after his right hand wascut off, put off his hat with
the left and said in a loud voice, God.
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Save the Queen. The multitude standing about
says the. Historian was profoundly silent.
Either out of horror at this newand unwanted kind of punishment,
or else out of hatred to the marriage which most men presaged
would be the overthrow of religion.
Charles and his Prime Minister. Loud were both for having.
The hand of Felton cut off, withwhich he.
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Murdered George Villiers. The Duke of Buckingham, but the
court as became them, and much to their.
Honor unanimously answered. That it could not be legally
done a condemned. Felon flung a brick.
Bat at Sir Thomas Richardson, Chief Justice of the bench at
Salisbury, 31 August, 1631, Summer Assisa's seven car, one
(13:26):
for which he was immediately indicted, and being convicted,
his right hand was cut off and affixed to the gibbet, on which
the felon himself was immediately hanged in the
presence of the court. James Mitchell was punished with
the loss of his right hand for basically attempting to shoot
Sharp, Archbishop of Saint Andrews in Scotland, such an
attempt at assassination being so punished by the law of that
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Kingdom in the reign of Charles the Second.
It seems rather remarkable that.Though 8 persons only suffered
this cruel punishment from the time of King Alfred, about the
year 875, down to Charles the Second, AD 1677.
Containing a period of about 8. Centuries and a half 1/2 of them
occurred in the happy reign of our Queen Elizabeth, and two of
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them were brother lawyers. An infant restored to life after
apparent death. The following case was
communicated in a letter to the directors of the Royal Humane
Society from Mr. Brown, Surgeon of Camberwell.
It being my intention to avoid. Prolixity and confine myself.
(14:32):
To a concise statement of the direct fact, I shall begin with
informing you, gentlemen, that the uncle of the child, after a
servitude of nine years at Bath,was discharged.
From the family in. Consequence of his mind.
Being deranged the effect of a severe.
Illness, upon which he came up to his brother John Faulkner.
#15 St. Mary Lebone for.
(14:53):
Protection and support which were kindly afforded him on
Monday afternoon, the 10th in. Stand he.
Quitted the house, taking with him his brother's son, a child
of six years. And strayed to Camberwell and
its environs. The child, being exhausted with
fatigue as well as in want of nutriment, exposed to the cold
and a heavy rain, became unable to walk.
(15:13):
He therefore took him up and threw him over his back,
suspending him by the heels. In this situation, they were
discovered in the High Road by the.
Watchman at about 4:00 on Tuesday.
Morning the man being remonstrated with he changed the
position of the child, took him in his arms, and went.
Away about 6. The same morning he was seen
near the red cap on Camberwell Green by Mr. Spencer.
(15:36):
A. Bricklayer of the village, with
the child again suspended at hisback, apparently dead.
This unusual sight induced him to call some of his neighbors to
his aid, and the man being takeninto.
Custody with the apparently lifeless.
Child to the public house, where, very much to the credit
of Mr. O'keens, who keeps it? The body was received with the
utmost humanity and tender concern, it being deemed
(15:59):
expedient to send for the parochial Beadle.
Mr. Rickwood. Attended, and on examining the
body which was laid upon one of the tap room.
Tables to all appearances. Dead.
He gave charge of the man to Mr.O'keens and the persons present,
coming himself to me to inspect.The corpse and give my opinion.
Thereon it was half past. 7 whenI got there and examined the
(16:19):
apparently. Dead child, state of the body,
his extremities cold, his eyes fixed, the arterial circulation
suspended, vitality apparently extinct.
Under such depressed circumstances there could hardly
be a hope entertained of a reanimation.
However, I determined to attemptit according to the.
Methods and by the means prescribed in the formula.
Of our most excellent institution, the resuscitative
(16:43):
process was most assiduously employed for a full 30 minutes
before the least signs of life could be discovered.
At length of feeble and irregular pulsation was
produced, which, continuing gradually to get stronger, I
insinuated a small quantity of volatile spirits into the
stomach, which brought on repeated spasms of a very short
duration. From that time the powers of
(17:04):
life increasing, and irregular convulsive motion of the
extremities came on, soon after which he rapidly recovered, and
was taken in hot flannels to theworkhouse, where he received
some proper nourishment and humane attention.
He then slept nearly an hour anda half, when, waking greatly
relieved, he again took his refreshment, and was soon
afterwards conveyed to his friends, who had been in the
(17:26):
most painful state of mind, respecting both him and his
uncle. The parental feelings on this
occasion may be conceived, but not easily described.
Her last? Hurrah, today is there's going
to be a brace of broadsheet ballads, one of those single
sheets of low quality paper witha song and sometimes a story
(17:47):
printed on it, which were sold on the streets for a Farthing or
a hapenny. Broadsheet ballads.
Were printed up to commemorate especially heinous crimes.
The dastardly villain murdering his mistress after having gotten
her pregnant was an especially popular topic and the execution
of high profile criminals, so they tend to be either spicy or
grizzly or both. I've got two of them for you
(18:10):
today, both on the topic of Robert Aymond, the Haddington
murderer. Robert Aymond was hanged on
March 17th 1830 for the brutal murders of Catherine Franks, his
sister-in-law, and her teenage daughter Magdalene in a village
near Haddington in Scotland. The two victims were found by
neighbors who were attracted by the squealing of the family pig
(18:31):
which hadn't been fed for some time.
They found Catherines body in the pig stye with her throat
slashed and in the house Magdalene had been beaten to
death. The house had been ransacked,
apparently to make it look like a robbery.
It turned out Robert's wife, also named Magdalene, was a
successful businesswoman and Robert had suffered some
business failures. He'd asked his wife for a loan,
(18:53):
she'd refused, and it had touched off a screaming row that
had escalated to wife beating and attempted murder when he
tried to throw her down a well. During the argument, Missus Amon
told Robert that she thought he had stolen money from her and
her sister, Missus Franks. A few days later, he apparently
went into a murderous rage. He tried to tell the jury that
he was innocent of the crime andthat the blood found on his
(19:15):
clothing was from a Nosebleed, or maybe from the chicken he'd
killed for the pot that made before.
But. He'd tracked.
Blood all over the Frank's housein the town.
Cobbler recognized the hobnail patterns after his conviction.
He confessed following several unsuccessful suicide attempts,
was scragged on schedule. Let's get the story from the
execution broadside first. Execution, An account of the
(19:42):
execution of Robert Amond, who was executed this morning, March
17th, 1830, at the head of Liberton's Wind for the murder
of Misses Franks and her daughter at Haddington on
October last. This morning, Wednesday 17th
March, Robert Amond suffered thelast sentence of the law at the
usual place of execution, Head of Liberton's wind.
(20:03):
Since this unhappy culprits trial, he has at different times
made various confessions of his guilt and the reasons which
prompted him to commit the horrid.
Deeds he seems to. Have brought himself to think
that he was utterly despised by Missus Franks and his wife, and
on being opposed by them in any of his foolish speculations in
trade, although for his own ultimate.
(20:23):
Good was considered. By him, as resulting from that
deep rooted apathy, as he thought that they treated him
with. Thus circumstance after
circumstance only served still more to impress upon his
bewildered mind the false ideas with which he nourished it.
And at last, so overpowering were there fell effects, that
revenge now took full possessionof his breast.
(20:44):
It would appear from his confessions that he had no
intention to take the life of Magdalene Franks, but after
having committed the one deed heto avoid discovery, committed
the second. His sister repeatedly visited
him in the jail. She had come to Edinburgh
previous to the trial. Her visits were in no way made
to console her guilty brother. But rather to grapple.
(21:04):
At any effects he was in possession of, as she said, to
pay the heavy expense to which she had been put in attending
his trial, et cetera. His brother, a blind man, was
very much affected at meeting and parting with him.
His mother, about 10 days back, came to Edinburgh and some
affecting scenes passed between them.
She seems to. Have had more partiality for
(21:26):
Amon than the rest of the family.
She is about 70 and got home in better health and was
anticipated. Different reports were spread
about of Amon's attempts to commit suicide, which, from his
manner and restlessness, as we have no doubt but he would have
done so. But in addition to his being
strongly ironed, Watchmen were placed with him night and day,
(21:46):
and the strict search made on the persons of any of his
friends who were admitted to him.
In fact, he could not make the least motion or move himself,
but the eyes of his watchers were upon him.
Indeed, one attempt was made to convey a deadly poison to him by
a near female relation, but she was immediately detected.
Eamon showed repeatedly what must be the awful state of a
(22:07):
murderer's mind. His nights were passed in broken
slumbers from which he generallyawaked in hurried starts,
betraying an awful state of mindwhich he felt himself quite
unable to describe. In the daytime he exhibited the
same restlessness and unease, and was haunted by The Phantoms
of his bleeding victims, until his mind, overwhelmed by
midnight visions and daydreams of guilt and punishment, became
(22:31):
excited to a state bordering on frenzy, under the influence of
which he talked wildly and incoherently.
But these paroxysms were seldom of long continuance, as he
generally found relief in tears,and when his mind was somewhat
eased he resumed his natural manner.
He did not seem much concerned when the murder of Misses Franks
was mentioned, but whenever the name of Magdalene Franks was
(22:53):
mentioned, or the name came across his mind, he was
immediately seized with the mostdreadful fits of despair.
And exclaimed the innocent. Blood calls for vengeance.
He paid attention to the clergy and others who spoke to him on
religious matters, and received them with great civility, and
even dwelt upon the subject stated with.
A kind of seeming. Inward pleasure.
He had some peculiar. Opinions of his own which,
(23:15):
though absurd, he strongly clungto.
Amond was. Previously brought from the
Colton jail to the lock up house, he was awakened about
6:00 and spent the time till nearly 8 preparing himself for
his awful end. When he was told the magistrates
were in readiness for him, he quietly submitted to his arms
being fastened. They moved up Liberton's wind at
(23:35):
a few minutes past 8. The crowd assembled was great
and the general movement was made when he ascended the
scaffold. A short time only was spent in
prayer etcetera. When he mounted the drop and I'm
giving the final signal, was instantly launched into
eternity. And now the broadsheet.
Ballad that was printed up and distributed to the onlookers at
(23:56):
the execution amond the Haddington.
Murderer, O heard ye that shriek.
From yon dark cell of sorrow tisAmon, the murderer, who dies on
the Morrow. He dreams of the dead who rises
before him. And tortures his soul, as in
wrath they bend o'er him. His crime is confessed, and he
mourns. Broken hearted, his hopes and
(24:17):
his joys are forever departed. He thinks of his.
Parent of the mourner so hoary, who joyed in her son as her
story and glory. Oh little, she thought.
Well, in childhood caressing shekissed her sweet boy with a
mother's fond blessing that murder would stain the white
hand that OFT pressed her and the gallows tree end all on
earth that had blessed her. So dark was the deed that the
(24:40):
monster committed to a savage revenge that his fury had wetted
with 10 frightful gashes. The mother and daughter lay
bleeding to death like 2 lambs at the slaughter.
But curse not in wrath, there isroom for your pity.
A weep for the Wretch who has swerved from his duty.
The ghosts of the friends whom he butchered surround him and
the terrors of death and the judgement confound him.
(25:06):
Well just about wraps up this hapony, horrid Hers day episode
of the Penny Dreadful Variety show.
Before we move on to our usual handful of lame early Victorian
dad jokes, let me take a minute to bring you up to speed on
what's coming three nights hencein next weeks Penny Dreadful
Story, our main show. 1st on themenu we'll have Chapter 17 of
(25:27):
Spring Heeled Jack, the Terror of London by Alfred Coats from
1866. In which Richard.
Clavering tries to bluster his way out, but it's not a good
look, looming over the unconscious lady with a knife.
In his first, Jack unmasks, and we learned that he and Clavering
know each other socially. So did Jack overhear the part?
(25:47):
About the loaded dice. What will he do if he.
Does and what will. Happen to poor Jesse, the naive
young girl he debauched and now wants to cast aside TuneIn, and
we'll find out. Next, we'll have a weekly
Victorian. Ghost Story.
This is something new. That we're just starting this
week. It's a spectacular little story
titled An Account of Some Strange Disturbances in Angier
(26:09):
Street by J Sheridan Lafanu, first published in 1851.
It's long, so we're going to have to split it into two parts,
1 next week and one the week after.
All that, plus more flash can't words and bad jokes and sundry
other early Victorian fun is coming your way this Sunday
night, all at Dick Turpin's scragging Hour 537, or 1737
(26:32):
Military Time. Before we.
Polish off this episode, let's see what we can find in the way
of inspiration from Joe Miller'sjoke book.
Granted, it's a horrid hers day,but every touch of Gray needs a
little bit of silver lining, right?
So light a candle, curse the glare, and let's do this.
A Welshman bragging of his family said his father's effigy
(26:55):
was set up in Westminster Abbey,being asked whereabouts he.
Said in the same. Monument with Squire Finns, for
he was his coachman. The person was saying, not at
all to the purpose that Samson was a very strong man.
I said another, but you are muchstronger, for you make nothing
of lugging him in by the head and shoulders, my Lord.
(27:18):
Strangeford, who stammered very much, was telling a certain
Bishop that sat at his table that Balaam's ass spoke because
he was. Pre priest priesthood, Sir.
Said a valet de chambre who stood behind the chair.
My Lord would say no, friend, replied the Bishop.
Balaam could not speak himself and so his ass spoke.
For him. The same noble Lord asked the
(27:40):
clergyman once at the bottom of his table, why the goose, if
there really was one, was alwaysplaced next to the Parson.
Really, said he. I can give no reason for it, but
your question is so odd I shall never see a goose for the future
without thinking of your lordship.
Well, that's it for today. Our hapenny horrid Hersday theme
(28:01):
music is a version of Geordie, an old English folk ballad about
a poachers hanging dating back to the 1600s.
This version is by Seattle old time band $4.00 Shoe.
For more of their music, just Google $4.00 Shoe.
It'll pop right up no matter howyou spell it.
The Penny Dreadful. Variety Hour is a creation of
pulp lit productions. For more details, see
pulp-lit.com. To get in touch with me, hit me
(28:24):
up at finn@pulp-lit.com. Thanks again for joining me
Kitties and Kitty s s. It's time for us to Sherry off
before the flats catch on for the Penny Dreadful variety show.
I'm Finn, JD, John signing off and now Fairforth and fill up
the rest of the week with Tip Top Stuff.
Bye now.
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