023: Can Minna bring Tobias back? — The highwayman's orphan protege finds a home — is poor Flora vampire-cursed? — Spring-Heel'd Jack in a tight spot — the millionaire makes a snap decision! - The Penny Dreadful Story Show: A Late Regency/Early Victorian Weekly Feast of Crammers and Moonshine

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:13):
The tip top evening to all you cross coves, Demi reps and
Knights of the brush and moon Tis I Finn, JD John, known among
the shoulder knots and body snatchers of the precinct house
as Professor Flash, welcoming you back to my sky parlor for
another round of the penny dreadful story hour here in the
old chafing crib. It's another Saturday night and

(00:37):
that means it's time to peel your Benjamins and UN thatch
your knobs. Grab a nice big Tumblr and fill
it up with strong white port. Sluice your vittling office and
swivel your mazzards my way because another rare noggin of
prattery. In the form.
Of the Penny Dreadful Story Houris upon us.
Like Flora Bannerworth on that pair of barking irons last week,

(00:58):
The Penny Dreadful Story Hour isthe podcast that carries you
back to the sooty, foggy streetsof early Victorian London when
the latest batch of the story papers hit the streets.
Not the fancy ones that cost a whole shilling.
No, the cheap, unruly ones that the old toasts and Tartars like
to call penny dreadfuls. That's right, The good stuff

(01:19):
that like a quarter or two of straight white tape may be a
little rough, but does the job. Here's what we've got in store
for tonight. First up, chapter 48 of The
String of Pearls or The Barber of Fleet Street, in which poor
Tobias Rags dingbat mother has made things worse instead of
better. But then the Colonel learns that
Tobias has a sweetheart named Minna Grey, so he asks the old

(01:41):
lady to bring her. Will she be able to restore
Tobias sanity? Chapter 10 of Black Bass or The
Night of the Road, starring highwayman Dick Turpin.
Dick and his pretty rescuee makeit out of the neighborhood as
Dick racks his brain for a placehe can bring her.
Then he thinks of his portly oldpal Tom Davis, landlord of the

(02:02):
Hand and Keys in near Hornsey Wood.
In Chapter 10 of Varney the Vampire or The Feast of Blood,
the tomb raiding party has just arrived back from the house when
the sound of Flora's pistol shotsmites upon their ears.
They rush to the house and find a scene of much confusion and a
new character joins our dramatispersonae.

(02:24):
Flores intended Charles Holland has just arrived, oddly enough
at 1:00 AM. But can she allow him to share
her destiny now that she has fallen victim to a vampire?
Chapter 10 of Spring Heeled Jack, the Terror of London, in
which two of the drunks from thebar next door to the Pigeon
House see Ellen Folder's bundle of work hanging from the window

(02:47):
and work out a plan to steal it.Will they succeed?
And what will happen to Ellen ifthey do?
And in Chapter 10 of The Black Band or The Companions of
Midnight, Robert Merton, the self-made millionaire who has
fallen for Lady Edith Vandalor and is soon to marry her, is
having some second thoughts. Will they enable him to avoid
this terrible matrimonial mistake that he is about to

(03:09):
embark upon? Or maybe they'll make it worse.
If you know this story well enough by now, you can probably
predict which of those two it will be.
So let's get started. But first, a word from our
perennial sponsor, Professor Flash's Flash Academy.
All aspiring out and outers needto be oku romped with the Flash

(03:31):
can't in their roystering sprees, right?
Professor Flash's Flash Academy can help for 12 monthly payments
of two Guineas and a Tanner. Don't trouble me with any of
this new money. I want Guineas.
You'll be chaunting along with the highest Knights of the road
in the sharpest Mace coves and the snappiest pinks and swells
unhanged this side of Newgate. For today's Flash Academy, we're

(03:54):
going to work from a little Thieves ditty that was provided
in an edition of Sweeney Todd published in 1850.
We'll take it line by line, one line with each dreadful.
Here's the first line. The beak looked big and shook
his head. Hey ho, the beak.
Do you know this one? I wish I could sing it, but I
don't know the tune. You probably know everything

(04:15):
here because we don't really have any new words.
You know what a beak is, right? If you don't, you'll have to
wait until the end of our reading from Sweeney Todd.
Speaking of which, let's do this.
Chapter 10 of the Barber Fleet Street or The String of Pearls
by James Malcolm Reimer. Here it comes.

(04:39):
Chapter 48 Tobias's heart is touched.
Tobias is no worse all this time, but is he better?
Has the God like spirit of reason come back to the mind
benighted boy? Has that pure and gentle spirit
recovered from its fearful thraldom and once again opened

(04:59):
its eyes to the world and the knowledge of the past?
We shall see. Accompany us, reader, once again
to the House of Colonel Jeffrey.You will not regret looking upon
the pale face of poor Tobias again.
The room is darkened, for the sun is shining brightly, and an
almond tree in the front garden is not sufficiently umbrageous
in its uncongenial soil to keep the bright rays from resting too

(05:23):
strongly upon the face of the boy.
There he lies, his eyes are closed and the long lashes, for
Tobias, poor fellow, was a pretty boy, hung upon his cheek,
held down by the moisture of a tear.
The face is pale, oh, so pale and thin, and the one arm and
hand that lies outside the coverlet of the bed show the

(05:45):
blue veins through the thin transparent skin.
And all this is the work of Sweeney Todd.
Well, well, Heaven is patient. In the room is everything that
can conduce to the comfort of the slumbering boy.
Colonel Jeffrey has kept his word, and now that we have taken
a look at Tobias, tread gently on tiptoe, reader, and come with

(06:06):
us downstairs to the back drawing room, where Colonel
Jeffrey, his friend, Captain Rathbone, the surgeon, and
Missus Ragg are assembled. Missus Ragg is crying her eyes
out, as the saying is. Sit down, Missus Wragg, said the
Colonel. Sit down and compose yourself.
Come now, there is no good done by this immoderate grief.
But I can't help it. You can control it.

(06:29):
Sit down. But I oughtn't to sit down.
And the cook? You know, Sir?
Well, well, never mind that. If you are my cook, if I ask you
to be seated, you may wave all ceremony.
We want to ask you a few questions, Missus Wragg.
Upon this, Tobias, Mother did sit down, but it was upon the
extreme edge of the chair, so that the slightest touch to it
in the world would have knocked it from under her, and down she

(06:51):
would have gone to the floor. I'm sure, Gentlemen, I'll answer
anything I know, and more, too, with all the pleasure in life.
For, as I often said to poor Mr.Wragg, who is dead and gone and
buried accordingly in Saint Martin's, as he naturally might,
and the long illness he had, what with one thing, And yes,
yes, we know all that. Just attend to us for a moment,

(07:13):
please, and do not speak until you thoroughly understand the
nature of the question we are about to put to you.
Or certainly not, Sir. Why should I speak?
For, as I often and often said when hush, hush, Missus Wragg
was silent at last, and then thesurgeon spoke to her calmly and
deliberately, for he much wishedher to clearly understand what
he was saying to her. Missus Wragg, we still think

(07:36):
that the faculties of your son Tobias are not permanently
injured, and that they are only suffering from a frightful
shock. Yes, Sir, they is frightfully
shook. Hush.
We think that if anything that greatly interested him could be
brought to bear upon the small amount of perception that
remains to him, that he would recover.
Do you know anything that might exercise a strong influence over

(08:00):
him? Lord bless you.
No, Sir. How old is he?
15, Sir. And you would hardly believe
what a time of it I had with Tobias.
All the neighbors said well, if Missus Wragg gets over this,
she's a woman of 10,000 and Missus whistle sides as lived
next door and had twins herself owned that she never.

(08:20):
Good God. Will you be quiet, Madam?
Quiet, Sir. I'm sure I haven't said 2 words
since I've been in the blessed room.
I appeal to the Colonel. Well, well, it appears then,
Missus Wragg, that you can thinkof nothing that is at all likely
to aid in this plan of awakening, by some strong
impression, the dormant faculties of Tobias.

(08:41):
No, gentlemen, No. I only wish I could, poor boy.
And there's somebody else wasting away for grief about
him, Poor little thing. When she heard that Tobias was
mad, I'm sure I thought she'd have broke her heart, for if
Tobias ever loved anybody in theworld, it was little Min A Grey.
Ah, it's affecting to see how such children love each other,

(09:03):
ain't it, Sir? Lord bless you.
The sound of her footstep was enough for him, and his eyes
would get like 2 stars and he'd clap his hands together and cry.
Oh, that's dear Minna. That was before he went to Mr.
Todd's. Poor fellow indeed, we assure.
Oh, you haven't an idea. I think I have.

(09:23):
Who is this Minna Grey who so enthralled his boyish fancy?
Why, she's the widow Gray's onlychild, and they live in Milford
Lane, close to the temple, you see, And even Tobias used to go
with me to drink tea with MissusGray, as we was both bequeathed
women in a world of trouble. You're what?
Bequeathed bereaved, you mean, Isuppose, Missus Wragbut how

(09:46):
could you tell me that you knew of no means of moving Tobias
feelings this minute, Gray, if he really loves her, is the very
thing. Lower, Sir.
What do you mean, boy? I mean, if you can get this mint
of grey here, the possibility isthat it will be the recovery of
Tobias. At all events, it is the only
chance of that kind that presents itself.
And if that fails, we must only trust a time.

(10:07):
How old is this girl? About 14, Sir.
And the Why say it? Well, Well, Do you now?
As a woman of the world, Missus Wragg think that she has an
affection for poor Tobias. Do I?
Lord bless you, Sir. She dotes on the ground.
He walks on that she does. Poor young thing.
Hasn't she grizzled a bit? It puts me in mind of yes, Yes,

(10:28):
of course it does. No, Missus Wragg, you
understand? It is an object with our friend
the Colonel here that no one butyourself should know that Tobias
is here. Could you get this young girl to
come to the tee, for instance, with you, without telling you
what else she is wanted for? Dear me.
Yes, Sir, for as I used to say to Mr. Wragg, who was dead and

(10:48):
gone and buried in Saint Martin's.
Exactly. Now go and get her by all means,
and when she comes here we will speak to her.
But above all things, be carefulwhat you say.
I think Missus Wragg is already aware, said Colonel Jeffrey,
that her son's safety, as well as her own, depends upon her
discretion in keeping his whereabouts A profound secret.
We will instruct this young girlwhen she comes here.

(11:10):
Colonel Jeffrey, when he heard the medical man, was of the
opinion that the experiment of awakening the feelings of Tobias
by bringing Mina Gray was worth trying at once acquiesced, and
urged upon Missus Gray to go andsee Mina.
After many more speeches, about as much to the purpose as those
which we have already formed, Missus Wragg got herself dressed

(11:30):
and went upon her errand. She was instructed to say that
she had found herself unequal tobeing a laundress in the temple
and. So had thought it was better to
return to her own original occupation of cook and a
gentleman's family, and that as she had the liberty to do so,
she wished Minna Grey to come and take tea with her.
Thus forewarned of the part she was to play, Missus Ragg started

(11:52):
upon her mission, in which we need not follow her for the
result of it, as all we particularly care about, and
that consisted in her bringing Minna in great triumph to the
Colonel's house. Colonel Jeffrey and Captain
Rathbone, who was staying to dine with him, saw the young
girl as she came up the garden path.
She was one of those small, delicately beautiful young
creatures who seemed specially made to love and beloved.

(12:16):
Her light Auburn hair hung in dancing curls down her fair
cheeks, and her beautifully shaped lips and pearly teeth
were of themselves features thatimparted much loveliness to her
countenance. She had, too, about her face,
all the charm of childish beautywhich bespoke her so young as to
have lost little of that spring tide grace which, alas, is so

(12:37):
fleeting. Add to all this a manner so
timid, so gentle, and so retiring, that she seemed to be
an inhabitant of some quieter world than this, and you have
Menegrey, who had crept into theboyish heart of poor Tobias
before your eyes. What a gentle, quiet looking
little creature, said the captain.
She is indeed, and what a contrast between her and Missus

(12:59):
Wragg. You mean it does indeed look
like an elephant escorting a fawn.
But Missus Wragg has her good qualities.
She has and they are numerous. She is honest and candid as the
day and almost the only. Fault that can be laid to her
charge is her garrulity. How do you mean to proceed?
Why, Rathbone, I mean to condescend to do what under any

(13:19):
other circumstances would be most unjustifiable.
That is, listen to the conversation of Missus Ragwith
Menegrey. I do so with the concurrence of
the old lady who has to lead herto speak of Tobias, and it is
solely for purposes of judging if she really loves the boy and
making a proper report to the surgeon that I do so.
You're right enough, Jeffrey, inthe end in this.

(13:40):
Case, at all events sanctifies the means.
However defective such a system of philosophy may be, as a
general thing, may I likewise bean auditor.
I was going to ask you so far tooblige me, for I shall then have
the advantage of your opinion, and so you will do me a favor.
There was a small pantry called a Butler's pantry close to the
kitchen into which Missus Wragg had taken Min a Grey.

(14:03):
A door opened from this pantry into the kitchen, and another on
to the landing at the foot of the kitchen stairs.
Now Missus Wragg was to take care that the door opening to
the kitchen should be just a jar, and the Colonel and his
friend could get into the pantryby the other mode of entrance.
Colonel Jeffrey was a gentleman in the fullest sense of the
term, and he kept no useless, bloated menials about him, so

(14:25):
the Butler's pantry had no Butler to interfere with him,
the Colonel in his own house. In the course of a few minutes
Jeffrey and Rathbone were in thepantry, from whence they could
both see and hear what passed inthe kitchen.
To be sure, there was a certain air of restraint about Missus
Wragg at the thought that her Master was listening to what
passed, and that Lady had a propensity to use hard words of

(14:47):
the meaning of which she was in the most delightful state of
ignorance. But as it was to MENA Gray's
conversation that the Colonel wished to listen, these little
peculiarities of Missus Wragg upon the occasion did not much
matter. Of course, MENA thought she had
no other auditors than her old friend.
Missus Wragg was quite busy overthe tea.
Well, my dear. She said to minnow.

(15:07):
This is the world we live in, Missus Rag no doubt intended.
This is a discursive sort of remark that might open the
conversation very well and lead to anything.
And she was not disappointed, for it seemed to give to the
young girl courage to utter whatwas struggling to her lips.
Missus Rag, She began hesitatingly.
Yes, my dear, let me fill your cup.

(15:27):
Thank you. I was going to say.
A little more sugar. No.
No. But I cannot place a morsel in
my lips, Missus Wragg, or think or speak to you about anything
else until you have told me if you've heard any news of poor,
poor Tobias. Yes, yes, yes.
Mina Gray placed her two little hands upon her face and burst
into tears. Missus Wragg made a snuffling

(15:49):
sort of noise that no doubt was highly sympathetic, and after a
pause of a few moments duration,Mina gathered courage to ask
again. You know, Missus Wragg, the last
you told me of him was that thatMister Todd had said he was mad,
you know, and then you went to fetch somebody, and when you
came back he was gone. And Mr. Todd told you the next
day that poor Tobias. Ran off at great speed and

(16:11):
disappeared. Has anything been heard of him
since? Oh my dear.
Alas, alas. When you cry, alas, have you
more sad news to tell me? He was my own son and all the
world, and his wife, as the saying is, can't tell how much I
loved him. Menegrey clasped her hands, and
while the tears coursed down herfair young cheeks, she said.

(16:34):
And I too loved him. I always thought you did, my
dear, and I'm sure if you had been an Angel out of heaven, the
poor boy could not have thought more of you than he did.
There was nothing you said or did that was not excellent.
He loved the ground you walked on, and a little old worsted
mitten that you left at our place.
Once he used to wear round his neck and kiss it when he thought

(16:56):
no one was nigh and say this wasmy menace.
The young girl let her head restupon her hands and sobbed
convulsively. Lost, Lost, she said in poor
kind. Good.
Tobias is lost. No, my dear, it's a long lane
that hasn't a turning. Pluck up your courage, and your
courage will pluck you up. Keep sixpence in one pocket and

(17:17):
hope in another. When things are at the worst
they mend. You can't get further down in a
well than the bottom. Minna sobbed on.
And so, my dear, added Missus Wragg.
I do know something more of Tobias.
The young girl looked up. He lives.
He lives. Laura Mussy don't lay hold of a
body, soul. Of course she lives.

(17:37):
And what's more, the doctor saysthat you ought to see him.
He's upstairs here, here, We just to be sure.
That's why I brought you to tea.Menegrey took a fit of
trembling. Then making great efforts to
compose herself, she said. Tell me all, Tell me all.
Well, my dear, it's an I'll windthat blows nobody any good, and

(17:58):
so here I am, cook in as good a place as mortal woman would wish
to have. I can't tell you all the rights
of the story, because I don't know it, but certainly Tobias is
upstairs in bed like a gentleman, only they say his
brains is, is something or otherthat makes him not understand
anything or anybody. And so you see, the doctor says
if you speak to him, who knows but that he may become to

(18:20):
himself. With an intuitive tact that
belongs to some minds in which Mimi Grey, despite the many
disadvantages of her social position, possessed in an
eminent degree, she understood at once the whole affair.
Tobias was suffering from some aberration of intellect which
the voice and presence of one whom he loved fondly might

(18:40):
dissipate. Would she shrink from the trial?
Would her delicacy take the alarm and overcome her great
desire to recover Tobias? Oh no, she loved him with a love
that far outstripped all smallerfeelings, and if there ever was
a time when that love took complete possession of her
heart, it was at this affecting moment when she was told that
her voice might have the magic power of calling back to him,

(19:03):
the wandering reason that harshness and I'll usage had for
a time toppled from its throne. Take me to him, she cried.
Take me to him. If all that is wanted to recover
him be the voice of affection hewill soon be as he once was to
us. Well, my dear, take your tea,
and I'll go and speak to the Colonel.
It was now time for Colonel Jeffrey and his friend the

(19:23):
captain, to retire from the pantry, where we need not say
that they had been pleased and affected listeners to what had
passed between Missus Rag and the fair and intelligent
Menegrea, who in beauty and intelligence far exceeded their
utmost expectations. And that's the end of today's

(19:44):
chapter of Sweeney Todd and Misses Wragg.
Misses Wragg. She's definitely the star of
this chapter. She comes off as an uncommonly
stupid person. And yet, stop a minute and let's
look at the fruits of her stupidity.
After she makes it crystal clearto the Colonel that he is never
going to get her to come right out and say she'll keep Tobias's

(20:04):
location secret and gives him reason to think that she's
straight up will not, he gives her a job to keep her close and
quiet. Presumably it's a better job
than doing laundry for the lawyers clerks at the temple,
right? The Colonel being a wealthy
gentleman, a job on his staff athis house would be a real plum
for someone like Missus Wragg. Well played Madam, well played.

(20:27):
Of course, before we decide thatshe's some kind of 4D chess
playing genius, we do have to remember that none of this would
have been necessary in the 1st place if Sweeney Todd hadn't
been able to bamboozle her into delivering poor Tobias into his
hands after he came to say goodbye to her.
And, well, there's another scene, which we'll get to in
good time about a dozen chaptersfrom now.
Sometimes a cigar really is justa cigar, and sometimes even a

(20:51):
blind pig can find a truffle every now and then.
Well, now it's time for our lineof thieves poetry.
The Beak looked big and shook his head.
Hey ho, the beak. Well, pretty much this is all
stuff you already know. A beak was a magistrate or
judge. Hey ho the beak, and stand by.
We'll have the next line of the song in a minute here, and it's

(21:12):
time now to turn our attention to London's favorite highwayman,
Dick Turpin in Black bass, or The Night of the Road by Edward
Viles. Today on tap, we have Chapter 10
for you, and once again, our next line of early Victorian
prison poetry. He wished such family coves were
dead, that honest folk might gettheir bread.
Hey ho, the beak. Again, not a lot of new words

(21:35):
here, but let's have our story and we'll find out all the
details at the end of it. Here we go with chapter 10 of
Black Bess or The Night of the Road by Edward Miles starring
Dick Turpin. Chapter 10.
The Arrival at the Hand and Keysnear Hornsey Wood.

(21:58):
The Murder. And are you really, said the
orphan apprentice as Dick, aftera hard gallop, slackened speed a
little while traversing A narrowlane?
Are you really that brave true heart whose name is in
everyone's mouth, and to whom such generous actions are
ascribed? Well, I don't know about that,
replied Dick with a smile. But I am Dick Turpin, the

(22:20):
highwayman, whose delight is to cry, stand, and deliver to a
passenger on the road. And this is Black Bess, without
whom he would be nothing, if that's what you mean.
You under rate yourself, as generous natures always do.
I have heard so much of you and have so longed to see you, but I
never thought I should meet withyou.
I am so happy, Turpin whistled. I wish you would change the

(22:43):
subject, he said. I never feel comfortable when
anyone praises me because I knowvery well I don't deserve it.
You do. You do indeed.
I am afraid you are prepossessedin my favor, if you will believe
me. It would require a vast amount
of good to counterbalance the evil, which I do.
I wish you would talk about something else, or if you like,
we will take another gallop. I am willing.

(23:06):
Once more after this brief dialogue the trees and ledges
seem to fly past them as Bess put forth her marvelous speed,
and very soon the old end, knownas the Hand in keys was Insight.
That said Turpin, as he pointed it out to his companion, Is the
place I intend you to take shelter in until some further
arrangements can be made for your future course of life.

(23:29):
It was a very large old fashioned building.
The walls were of wood and the immense roof, though tiled in
places, was for the most part thatched.
It stood some few yards back from the road, having a spacious
yard in front, which was used insummer as a Bowling Green,
somewhat to turp and surprise, for it was past 1:00, and the

(23:50):
inn was noted for closing early.Lights were shining from almost
all the latticed casements, and when he halted close to the
horse through, he could plainly hear the strains of some musical
instruments and the sound of jollity and merrymaking within.
Whatever can be the occasion of this, he asked himself.
I am sure it must be something extraordinary to keep Tom Davis
and his wife up so late. Hi, James.

(24:12):
James, it was the Ossler he called, and who rejoiced in the
name of James. But, contrary to a hitherto
unvarying custom, no James made his appearance.
After waiting a moment, Dick sprang off his mare and assisted
Ellen to a light. I suppose he is too busy indoors
to pay any attention to us tonight.

(24:33):
So come, I am sure you must be tired, and we will make our way
in at once. We may think ourselves very
lucky, and having found them up,I should think such a thing
never happened before. They reached the front door of
the inn, which was closed, and Turpin tapped at it in a
peculiar manner. It was opened in a moment by the
stoutest man that Ellen had everin her life beheld.

(24:55):
Well, Tom, the boy, how are you?What in the name of goodness is
in the wind that you are all up at this hour?
Bless my stars, ejaculated the landlord.
If it ain't Dick here, walk in, walk in.
I didn't think I should have thepleasure of seeing you tonight.
I am more pleased than if anybody had given me £100.

(25:18):
Whatever for Davis. Why, you see, it's just 100
years ago, this very night, since the old place was built, a
century mind you. So I have invited everybody that
I could think of, intending to make a glorious night of it, and
now I would sooner have you thananyone else provided, he added
in a more serious tone. You have not been up to your

(25:40):
tricks in the neighborhood. Because if you had, I should
advise you to be off. Oh, that's all right enough.
Don't let that trouble you a bit.
I haven't been near here for months.
But I say, first of all, how about my mare?
Where's James? Always indoors and half drunk by
this time I'll warrant. Never mind, I'll stable the mare
myself. All right, I'll go too.

(26:02):
Yes, yes, you always do that. But I say, Dick, what?
Who's this you've got standing behind you?
It's a petticoat. Oh Dick, you're as bad as a
soldier. The landlord chuckled gleefully
at what he was pleased to consider his own wit.
Hold your Rao fat sides and let's stable them air.

(26:23):
I do not want to stand on the doorstep.
Talking all night. Make haste.
I have something particular I want to say to you.
All right, all right. Here.
Come along. You know the way.
You had better lead Bess yourself.
The little party crossed the yard and made their way round to
the back of the inn, where Bess was carefully fed and lodged.
No, Dick, said Tom Davis, the landlord, as they stood in the

(26:45):
stable. If you've got anything private
you want to say to me, you why you can't find a better place or
a better opportunity than the present.
No, I was about to say the same thing.
Well, then, let's hear it, because the sooner I get back
into the room again, along with the company, the better.
Just so, and I will cut what I have to say as short as
possible. I met with a very singular

(27:07):
series of adventures last night and was wounded in the shoulder.
I saw the refuge at Matthew Gail's crib in the White Horse
yard, Drury Lane. You know old Matthew, of course
I do, who doesn't cut along. He found me and my mare snug
quarters and I had a comfortablenap for about 12 hours when old
Matthew woke me up, told me the grabs were downstairs.

(27:28):
I had stolen the Gold Cup from the ex Lord Mayor as he was on
his way home and he made, I suppose, a grand fuss about it.
So the officers were searching everywhere for me.
But what in the world made you take such a thing as that?
Why, it's no good to you, and would of course, bring you into
trouble. Well, I should never have done
it for the sake of the cup itself, only I ought to have

(27:49):
told you. I made a bet of 50 lbs, and I
would take it and produce it within three nights, which will
be tomorrow night. So I must get back to London.
And have you the cup with you? Yes, I should uncommonly like to
see it here. Hold it up while I hold the
Lantern. All serene, said Turpin,
complying with his request. Very, Pretty, very pretty

(28:11):
indeed, I should think. The old bloke is savage.
No doubt he is. Did you have much trouble to get
it? Scarcely any.
But just before I got away up came a body of officers.
Someone must have split on the job and set them on the watch.
However, I got off all right. I should not like to be the Cove

(28:32):
that did it. You may depend.
If I find him out, I will make him suffer for it.
Serve him right. However, I'm not telling you
what I intended. It's this.
The red breasts, as I was sayingjust now, were after me.
So by old Matthew's advice, I got out of the window of the
room I was in and onto the roof.And then got hoof I suppose.

(28:53):
No, not all together. They had stationed one of their
men on the roof to see that I did not escape that way and he
pounced upon me. We had a desperate struggle in
which he fell over the parapet and into the yard 50 feet below.
God bless me, I felt sorry for him.
He was a brave fellow. Well, what happened next?
I crawled over the roofs until Icame to the corner of Clare

(29:15):
Court and I got into one of the houses through a trap door in
the tiles. Go on, go on.
I was halfway down the second flight when I heard such a
succession of shrill screams that I was almost stunned.
I rushed down the stairs like a shot.
I suppose you forgot all about the officers?
Quite. When I got to the kitchen door I
did not hesitate, but, still hearing the terrible screams,

(29:37):
dashed the door open and sprang into the room.
What next? There on the floor I saw this
poor girl who's an apprentice, and her barbarous mistress was
standing over her and flogging over the strap.
A strap Now, damn. Now don't be rash, Tom, and hear
me out to the end, interrupted Turpin, seizing the landlord's

(29:57):
hand, which he had clenched as if to inflict condigned
chastisement on someone. Don't be rash.
Very well. Go on, then.
But if that wouldn't make a man's blood boil, I don't know
what would. All right.
And you saved your Dick. I did.
She was a poor orphan without a single friend to fly to for
protection. Then God bless you for such a

(30:19):
good deed. And this, said Dick, as he took
Alan by the hand and LED her a step or two forward.
This is the beautiful girl who was the victim of so much
cruelty. No.
She is though. And now, Tom Davis, this is what
I want to say to you. No one knows my way of life
better than you do, and how impossible it would be for me to
take charge of this poor girl. Now.

(30:41):
You, Tom, have neither chick norchild, as the saying is, so I
want you to find a home for her for a little while until
arrangements can be made for getting her employment and
deciding what her future shall. Be that wants no deciding, said
the warm hearted landlord with atear in his eye.
Least ways if she's willing to accept what I propose.
No, my dear, he said. Turning to Alan.

(31:02):
Do you think you could make yourself happy and contented at
the old hand and keys along withme?
If you do, all I can say is there's a home for you as long
as you like to have it, and I'llbe your father.
Do you consent? If you do, I shall be happy
indeed, for your sweet face and the troubles you've gone through
have quite won my heart. The tears thronged so quickly

(31:25):
into Ellen's eyes as the landlord made this generous
offer with so much tenderness and kindness that she could not
say a word in reply. But leaving Turpin's side where
she had stood during the brief dialogue, placed her arms around
his neck and. Kissed his cheek.
There, there. Don't take on like that.
Don't take on like that, said Tom Davis, his own voice Husky

(31:45):
with emotion. The idea of anyone now a Turpin,
I tell you plain I can't believeit.
Can't believe what? Why that there would ever be
anyone barbarous enough to harm a poor, loving, beautiful child
like this is. It's altogether impossible and
quite against human nature. One would think so, said Turpin.

(32:07):
But I'm sorry, for the sake of that same human nature to say
there are plenty of people who are more cruel than wild beasts.
So it seems so it seems. But Davis, when I had saved this
young girl, I was fairly puzzledto know what to do with her.
You were? Yes, until all at once I thought
of you, and then I felt sure I'dfound this poor girl a refuge.

(32:29):
And so you had? No, my dear, said Davis.
Are you? Willing to stay with me because
if you are, we will get back to the house at once.
Oh, Sir, how can you ask me sucha thing?
You must not think me foolish, but I have for so long heard
nothing but unkind words that your kind ones make me weep in
spite of myself. She laid her hand again upon his

(32:51):
shoulder. She already felt for him the
affection the daughter feels fora father.
Now, my, began Davis again, no doubt in the height of his
indignation. He was about to pronounce some
terrible anathema, but Turpin stayed him.
Come, he said. I think we understand each other
now, so the best thing we can dois get under the roof tree of
the old inn. Poor Ellen here, after all she's

(33:12):
gone through, must, I'm sure, bewearied to death.
As for myself, I require no restat present.
I had such a long sound sleep atMatthew's.
So while you find her a bed chamber, I will, if you are
willing, join the company in thekitchen.
There is no one there who knows me, is there, Tom?
No one that I'm aware of. Bess is all safe until you want
her so. We will go in at once.

(33:34):
They will wonder what has becomeof us.
Take hold of my arm, my dear, and I hope now I have charge of
you. You've seen all your troubles.
So saying, the trio made their way back to the inn, and entered
it by the back door. The landlord's wife was called,
and Ellen's story relate to her.Her disposition was as open
hearted as her husband's, and asthey were childless, she

(33:55):
received the orphan with delight.
After a few minutes more conversation, Ellen, bidding her
preserver and protector and affectionate goodnight, left the
room in company with Bourgeon. Misses Davis.
Now it's time to say goodbye to Dick and all his friends.
This was not the most action-packed chapter, to be

(34:18):
sure, although if you missed thelast three chapters, you'll be
glad of the summary of all the action that happened, in which
the first half of this chapter is pretty much taken up.
It's not hard to see that Ellen the orphan has developed a
pretty bad case for Dick Turpin.I think we are supposed to
consider her a bit young for him, although Tom Davis's
reaction when he saw her suggesting maybe not.

(34:39):
But if you're getting the idea that this story contains way
more being a good role model forboys than it does highway
robbery, second degree murder, and sundry other capital crimes,
well, don't worry, that's going to change in another couple of
chapters. Hang in there.
Meanwhile, next week the action will pick up a bit, although
there won't be any highway robberies.

(34:59):
I don't know about you, but I'm ready to hear Dick Turpin say
stand and deliver to somebody. Well, let's move on to our line
of early Victorian prison poetry.
Yes, he wished such family coveswere dead, that honest folk
might get their bread. Hey ho, the beak.
Well, the family, as we'll be seeing a couple chapters.
Henson Dick Turpin's adventures was a reference to the family of

(35:20):
Cross Coves and coveses, pickpockets, highwaymen,
forgers, swindlers, blackleg gamblers, owners of cross cribs
and Hells, the whole criminal underworld.
Coves, of course, and if you're APG Woodhouse fan, you know this
well, was an informal word for men at the time.
It carried a whiff of respectability as well as
edginess, so it could be used torefer with appropriate respect

(35:42):
to the proprietor of a highwayman's hideout, such as
Matthew Gale's place in Drury Lane, or to the hangman at
Newgate. Equally well.
But you probably wouldn't call alowly beggar a Cove.
Now it's time for a chapter of Varney the Vampire, the Feast of
Blood, And, of course, for another flash.
Can't phrase so early Victorian prison poetry.

(36:04):
The family Cove. He grin to grin.
Hey ho, the Cove. We've already talked about all
of the words in this one, so let's throw in another phrase
just as a little bonus. Chink the ochre, as in Deck Turp
and chink Diyoka to the tune of £50 as he prigged the Lord
Maya's cup from him. There it is.
You probably don't know this onebecause it's gone out of fashion

(36:25):
for quite a while now, but there's several others that mean
the same thing that are still incommon usage, you know.
We'll unpack those when we get done here.
Here's chapter 10 of Varney the Vampire or The Feast of Blood by
James Malcolm Reimer. Chapter 10.

(36:46):
The return from the vault, the alarm, and the search around the
hall. It so happened that George and
Henry Bannerworth, along with Mr. Marchdale, had just reached
the gate which conducted into the garden of the mansion.
When they were all. Alarmed by the report of a
pistol, the stillness of the night, it came upon them with so

(37:09):
sudden a shock that they involuntarily paused, and there
came from the lips of each and expression of alarm.
Good heavens, cried George, can that be Flora firing it?
Intruder it must be, cried Henry.
She has in her possession the only weapons in the house.
Mr. Marchdale turned very pale and trembled slightly, but he

(37:31):
did not speak. On, on, cried Henry, for God's
sake, let us hasten on. As he spoke he cleared the gate
at a bound, and at a terrific pace he made toward the house,
passing over beds and plantations and flowers
heedlessly, so that he went the most direct way to it.
Before, however, it was possiblefor any human speed to

(37:53):
accomplish even half of the distance, the report of the
other shot came upon his ears, and he even fancied he heard the
bullet whistle past his head in tolerably close proximity.
This supposition gave him a clueto the direction, at all events,
from whence the shots proceeded.Otherwise he knew not from which
window they were fired, because it had not occurred to him

(38:15):
previous to leaving home to inquire in which room Flora and
his mother were likely to be seated awaiting his return.
He was right. As regarded the bullet, it was
that winged messenger of death which had passed his head in
such very dangerous proximity, and consequently he made with
tolerable accuracy toward the open window from whence the

(38:36):
shots had been fired. The night was not near so dark
as it had been, although even yet it was very far from being a
light one, and he was soon enabled to see that there was a
room, the window of which was wide open, and lights burning on
the table within. He made towards it in a moment,
and entered it. To his astonishment, the first

(38:58):
objects he beheld were Flora anda stranger who was now
supporting her in his arms. To grapple him by the throat was
the work of a moment, but the stranger cried aloud, and a
voice which sounded familiar to Henry.
Good God, are you all mad? Henry relaxed his hold and
looked in his face. Gracious heavens, it is Mr.
Holland, he said. Yes, did you not know me?

(39:22):
Henry was bewildered. He staggered to a seat, and in
doing so he saw his mother stretched, apparently lifeless,
upon the floor. To raise her was the work of a
moment, and then Marchdale and George, who had followed him as
fast as they could, appeared at the open window.
Such a strange scene as that small room now exhibited had

(39:42):
never been equalled. In Bannerworth Hall there was
young Mr. Holland, of whom mention has already been made as
the affianced lover of Flora, supporting her fainting form.
There was Henry doing equal service to his mother, and on
the floor lay the two pistols and one of the candles which had
been upset in the confusion, while the terrified attitudes of

(40:04):
George and Mr. Marchdale at the window completed the strange
looking picture. What is this?
Oh, what has happened? Cried George.
I know not, I know not, said Henry.
Someone summon the servants. I am nearly mad.
Mr. Marchdale at once rang the bell, for George looked so faint
and I'll as to be incapable of doing so.

(40:27):
And he rung it so loudly and so effectually, that the two
servants who had been employed suddenly upon the others
leaving, came with much speed toknow what was the matter.
See to your mistress, said Henry.
She is dead, or has fainted. For God's sake, let Who can give
me some account of what has caused all this confusion here?
Are you aware, Henry, said Marchdale, that a stranger is

(40:51):
present in the room? He pointed at Mr. Holland as he
spoke, who, before Henry could reply, said, Sir, I may be a
stranger to you as you are to me, yet no stranger to those
whose home this is. No, no, said Henry, you are no
stranger to us, Mr. Holland, butour thrice welcome, none can be
more welcome. Mr. Marchdale, this is Mr.

(41:11):
Holland of whom you have heard me speak.
I am proud to know you, Sir, said Mr. Marchdale.
Sir, thank you, replied Holland coldly.
It will so happen. But at first sight it appeared
as if those two persons had somesort of antagonistic feeling
towards each other, which threatened to prevent
effectually their ever becoming intimate friends.

(41:35):
The appeal of Henry to the servants to know if they could
tell him what had occurred, was answered in the negative.
All they knew was they had heardtwo shots fired, and that since
then they had remained where they were in a great fright
until the bell was rung violently.
This was no news at. All.
And therefore the only chance was to wait patiently for the

(41:56):
recovery of the mother or of Flora from one or the other, of
whom surely some information could at once be then procured.
Missus Bannerworth was removed to her own room, and so would
Flora have been. But Mr. Holland, who was
supporting her in his arms, said, I think the air from the
open window is recovering her, and it is likely to do so.

(42:18):
Oh, do not now take her from me after so long an absence.
Flora, Flora, look up. Do you not know me?
You have not yet given me one look of acknowledgement.
Flora, dear Flora. The sound of his voice seemed to
act as the most potent of charmsin restoring her to
consciousness. It broke through the death like
trance in which she lay, and opening her beautiful eyes, she

(42:40):
fixed them upon his face, saying, Yes, it is Charles, it
is Charles. She burst into a hysterical
flood of tears and clung to him like some terrified child, to
its only friend in the whole wide world.
Oh, my dear friends, cried Charles Holland, Do not deceive
me. Has Flora been ill?

(43:02):
We have all been ill, said George.
All I'll I am nearly mad, exclaimed Henry.
Holland looked from one to the other in surprise, as well he
might. Nor was that surprise at all
listened when Flora made an effort to extricate herself from
his embrace as she exclaimed. You must leave.
You must leave me. You must leave me, Charles,

(43:25):
forever. Oh, never, never look upon my
face again. I I am bewildered, said Charles.
Leave me now, continued Flora. Think me unworthy.
Think what you will, Charles, but I cannot.
I dare not now be yours. Is this a dream?
Oh, what it were, Charles, if wehad never met, you would be

(43:46):
happier. I could not be more wretched,
Flora. Flora, do you say these words of
so great cruelty to try my love?No, as heaven is my judge, I do
not. Gracious heaven.
Then what do they mean? Flora shuddered, and Henry,
coming up to her, took her hand in his tenderly, as he said.

(44:07):
Has it been again? It has.
You shot it? I fired full upon it, Henry.
But it fled. It did.
It did fly? It did, Henry.
But it will come again. It will surely come again.
You. You hit it with a bullet,
interposed Mr. Marchdale. Perhaps you killed it.

(44:28):
I think I must have hit it, unless I am mad.
Charles Holland looked from one to the other with such a look of
intense surprise that George remarked it and said it once to
him. Mr. Holland, a full explanation
is due to you, and, and you shall have it.
You seem to be the only rationalperson here, said Charles.
Pray, what is it that everyone calls it?

(44:50):
Hush, Hush said. Henry, you will soon hear, but
not at present. Hear me, Charles, said Flora.
From this moment, mind, I do release you from every vow, from
every promise made to me of constancy and love.
And if you are wise, Charles, and will be advised, you will
now, this moment leave this house, never to return to it.

(45:12):
No, said Charles, no. By Heaven I love you, Flora, I
have come to say all that which in another climb I said with joy
to you. When I forget you, let what
troubles may oppress you, May God forget me, and my own right
hand forget to do me honest service.
Oh, no more, no more, sobbed Flora.

(45:32):
Yes, much more, if you will tellme of words which will be
stronger than others, in which to paint my love, my faith, and
my constancy. Be prudent, said Henry.
Say no more nay. Upon such a theme I could speak
forever. You may cast me off, Flora, but
until you tell me you love another, I am yours until the
death, and then with a sanguine hope at my heart that we shall

(45:54):
meet again, never dearest to part.
Flora sobbed bitterly. Oh, she said, this is the
unkindest blow of all. This is worse than all unkind,
echoed Holland. Heed her not, said Henry.
She means not you. Oh no, no, she cried.
Farewell, Charles, dear Charles.Oh, you say that word again, he

(46:19):
exclaimed with animation. It is the first time such music
has met my ears. It must be the last.
No, no, Oh no. For your own sake, I shall be
able now, Charles, to show you that I really loved you.
Not by casting me from you. Yes, Even so, that will be the

(46:39):
way to show that I love you. She held up her hands wildly and
added in an excited voice. The curse of destiny is upon me.
I am singled out as one lost andaccursed.
Oh, horror, horror word that I were dead.
Charles staggered back a pace ortwo until he came to a table at
which he clutched for support. He turned very pale as he said

(47:03):
in a faint voice. Is is she mad or am I?
Tell him that I am mad, Henry, cried Flora.
Do not, oh do not make his lonely thoughts terrible with
more than that. Tell him I am mad.
Come with me, whispered Henry toHolland.
I pray you come with me at once,and you shall know all.

(47:23):
I I will, George, stay with Flora for a time.
Come, come, Mr. Holland, you ought, and you shall know all.
Then you can come to a judgementfor yourself.
This way, Sir, You cannot in thewildest freak of your
imagination guess that I have now to tell you.
Never was a mortal man so utterly bewildered by the events

(47:44):
of the last hour of his existence than was now Charles
Holland, and truly he might wellbe so.
He had arrived in England, and had made what speed he could to
the House of a family whom he admired for their intelligence,
their high culture, and in one member of which his whole
thoughts of domestic happiness in this world were centered.
And he found nothing but confusion, incoherence, mystery,

(48:08):
and the wildest dismay. Well might he doubt if he were
sleeping or waking. Well might he ask if he or they
were mad. And now, as after a long
lingering look of affection uponthe pale, suffering form of
Flora, he followed Henry from the room, his thoughts were busy
and fancying 1000 vague and wildimaginations with respect to the

(48:30):
communication which was promisedto be made to him.
But, as Henry had truly said to him, not in the wildest freak of
his imagination could he conceive of anything near the
terrible strangeness and horror of that which he had to tell
him. And consequently he found
himself closeted with Henry in asmall private room, removed from

(48:52):
the domestic part of the hall tothe full, in his bewildered
estate, as he had been from the first.
That's it for today's chapter ofVarney the Vampire, and we
finally get to meet Charles Holland, who really must think
everyone has gone off the deep end when he arrives at
Bannerworth Hall. It does seem a little weird that

(49:14):
he's arriving in the middle of the night, though I guess we
can't blame Mr. Marchdale for being a little nonplussed.
But if you show up at your friend's house at 1:00 AM, you
never know what kind of revelries you'll be
interrupting, Right? Vampire shooting parties.
So what's chink the ochre? As in Dick Tup and chink the
ochre to the tune of £50 as he prigged the Lord Mayor's Cup

(49:36):
from him? Well, the chink, the ochre means
to lay down a bet or make an investment.
Other phrases that meant the same thing were lay down the rag
and post the pony. You know, post the pony.
We still use that one. Well, that means it's time to
turn our attention to the next penny bread full spring heeled
Jack the terror O London by Alfred Coats.

(49:59):
But first, our next and actuallylast line of early Victorian
prison poetry, said he to prig. I think no sin for sure.
A Romani must have tin. Hey ho, the Cove.
You'll surely know one or two ofthe flash words after the story.
I will unpack them all. Speaking of the story, here it
is. Chapter 10.

(50:25):
The robbery. A scene in a vault.
A terrible doom. The shrieks of the poor
seamstress reached the bar of the pigeon Flyers, and caused
not only the landlord of that establishment, but four or five
unshaven, villainous looking fellows, customers at the bar,
to make their way to the door, and look inquiringly over it.

(50:47):
Bill Jackson's domicile for a solution of the meaning of the
sounds which had disturbed theirconversation.
The door had been closed by Missus Jackson, and hence the
bleared eyes of the men were unable to penetrate the passage
where Ellen was. So each looked at the other, and
then turned to look after the beer that they had left on the
counter. Bill and his old woman having a

(51:09):
shine, I suppose, said one. It's no business of our inmates.
None at all, said the landlord. Oh, she's enough to aggravate a
St. she is, and I ain't got no pity for her.
I don't like to see a woman always coming after her old man
when he sits down to enjoy a potand a smoke.
It don't look, well it don't, and I know if it was me I

(51:31):
wouldn't stand it, that's all. Ain't right chained in the
others? Saves her right at all she gets,
I reckon that sanctified sort ofgirl, as is a lodging up there.
Puts her up to doing it for the old woman's.
Been a sight worse since she hadBill's front room upstairs, said
one who. Rejoiced in the name of Joe

(51:51):
Felcher. She's a stuck up bit of goods I
I tell you she ain't got much tobe proud on I reckon, said the
landlord contemptuously. Proud on?
No, but she had the cheek to tell me she'd call the police if
I didn't sheer off one night when I seed her standing at the
door and paid her the complimentof telling her I was mine to

(52:13):
kiss her. Lo, you should have seed her,
she was about a foot taller in aminute, and she turns up her
nose at me as if I were as good as her.
I should think I was, for I don't starve on shirt making by
a halfpenny rush light. Hello.
He added, looking over at the window of the room occupied by

(52:34):
Ellen. Blown.
If she ain't joined by the earlyclosing movement, why was that a
hanging out the window? This remark caused the others to
look also, and eventually Joe walked out of the house and
across the road to examine the object more minutely.
His curiosity was aroused to know what the bundle contained,
and, beckoning over to one of his companions, induced him to

(52:57):
stand with his face close to thewall of Jackson's dwelling and
permit him to mount onto his shoulders in order to enable Joe
to obtain possession of the strangely situated bundle.
Heads, of course. Said the fellow, as he placed
himself in the desired position.Of course, Tommy was the reply,
as Joe, with great agility, commenced to clamber up his

(53:18):
friend's body. Don't shrink, I'll have it in a
jiffy. Almost as soon as he had
concluded speaking, Joe had mounted to the other's shoulders
and grasped the bundle. Look alive.
Good luck to you, cried Tommy. Your hobnails are making holes
in my shoulder. Look alive or I shall drop you.
Joe had a firm hold of the bundle, but was unable to

(53:40):
extricate it from it's fascinating, although he used
every endeavour to do so. Tommy, unable to longer endure
the pressure of Joe's hobnails on his shoulders, shrank beneath
his companion's weight, and, holding frantically to the
bundle to save himself, the rotten shirt gave way, and down
Joe came to the ground with the bundle in his hand.
Fortunately for himself, he dropped upon his feet without

(54:04):
injury. Halves, cried Tommy, laying his
hand on the bundle. Then you don't have it, said
Joe, vexed at the other for giving way beneath him.
Why not? Because you don't, that's all.
You broke down in your wrath. You ain't entitled to it,
Jemima, he added as the torn skirt parted and allowed the
poor seamstress's work to fall to the ground.

(54:26):
If that ain't the slop work of that gal, Tommy, Mom's the word,
you know you must be. No fly over the way or they'll
want to go snacks. There's enough to fetch 5 Bob
round to Blodger's Dolly shop. Fence you mean?
Well it's all the same, or at least ways very little
difference. The blokes ain't twigged us, so
shut up and we'll go snacks. By the blokes, Joe meant his

(54:50):
companions at the bar of the Pigeon Flyers, who, after
desultory glances at the bundle as it hung suspended from the
window, had turned again to their beer.
Right you are Joe, but where will you slum it till tomorrow?
Where I've put the other things before.
Where's that? In the vault.
The vault? Yes, in the churchyard, said

(55:12):
Joe. It's a first rate crib.
No Fear of it's being overhauled.
I forgot you don't know it. I'll show it to you if you like
to come. A vault in a churchyard, said
Tommy with just a perceptible shudder pervading his form.
Yes, in White Chapel Churchyard.But how can you get in?

(55:33):
Boy, there's a rail loose in theleft hand side of a gate.
I get that up and it goes to thevault.
That's a little black door by the middle of the brickwork.
It's never fastened but shuts close to.
Oh, it's a stunning place to slum anything.
It is, but keep it dark. Yes, yes, said Tommy.
But you ain't frightened. Frightened of what?

(55:56):
The ghosts. Ghosts.
I should like to see if a ghost as could frighten me.
Said Joe with a contemptuous curl of the lip.
You ain't seen one, but you might.
Said Tommy. Go on.
Very none. If there was, they wouldn't
frighten me in a hurry. You don't know.
Don't, I said Joe, or I should just like to see one there

(56:19):
tonight. I'd show it what sort of flesh
and blood your filter is made on.
I would. Will you go there tonight?
Yes, Will you come? I'll show you have a crib as a
first rate slum. No, I'd rather not.
You wait half a chap, said Joe contemptuously.
But they're all go by myself andyou go back to the Flyers Mum,

(56:42):
you know, and if anybody asks for me, say I'm gone home all.
Right, said Tommy. No fiddling.
Sell me tater, now what do you take me for?
Said. Joe.
All right then, shares in the morning?
As true as honor. Good night, then, only mind the
ghosts, said Tommy, as he turnedaway to seek the bar of the

(57:03):
pigeon Flyers. Joe Filcher watched him till he
had entered the beer house, and then gathered up the skirt
tightly in his hands, and turning away in the opposite
direction, muttering half aloud.Vosniveling.
Cur, I'll be frightened of ghosts, huh?
I should like to see one tonightin the vault.
I just should, that's all. A tall, gentlemanly figure past

(57:27):
him with a hurried step, and as he drew his long Spanish cloak
closer over his form, said with a smile and a subdued tone.
Air. Courage may be put to the test,
my fine fellow. The railing to the left of the
gate is loose. The vault, used as a receptacle
for stolen goods, is formed of brick with a small black door.

(57:47):
We may meet there, my friend, Mybrave friend.
I should have said to meet there.
And at midnight, as he hurried along before Joe, the clocks of
the churches in the neighborhoodchimed.
The half hour after 11 12:00 it struck and its echoes died away
as a tall figure forced its way through the door of a brick
built vault in White Chapel Churchyard.

(58:10):
It was the same figure which we have noticed past Joe Filcher on
his way to the same place to hide the poor seamstresses
bundle till he could not take itto Blodger's fence, which it
would not have been prudent for him to have done that night.
And at that hour, as the reputedDolly shop, more than suspected
of being what it really was, wasalready being closely watched by

(58:31):
the officers, having affected anentrance into the vault.
Spring heeled Jack, for yes it was.
He struck a light with a phosphorus match and looked
around the gloomy place. He muttered as the match burned
out and left the vault again in Stygian darkness.
This is not a very inviting place.
It's cold enough, dark enough and damp enough to strike terror

(58:52):
to the heart and chill the bloodin man's veins without the
knowledge that human beings are festering in their shrouds at
his side. The place makes me shudder.
Yet why should I? What harm can there be in a
corpse? None from the living.
There is much more to fear. I much more.
But I forget the. Purpose for which I came hit

(59:14):
her. He took off his cloak, turned
it, and drawing a hideous mask from his pocket, placed it on
his face. Then he groped his way to where
he had seen a coffin standing ona pair of trestles, and placing
his hand upon the lid, vaulted up and sat upon the last home of
the dead know. Let the Rascal come, said he,

(59:34):
and he shall receive the reward of his villainy.
He must be a daring scoundrel todesecrate the resting place of
the dead and make the grave a receptacle for his plunder.
But, courageous as he appears tobe, his courage shall fail him
to night. Jack, when he emerged from the
pigeon dormer on the roof, had looked down into the street and
heard the conversation of Joe and his companion, and saw the

(59:57):
theft committed on the seamstress's hidden work.
Disgusted by the ACT, he'd resolved to give them a fright.
But upon Joe mentioning his intention of seeking the
churchyard, our hero resolved todefer his purpose till that
worthy should be within the precincts of his hiding place.
The moments flew by and Jack listened intently for the

(01:00:17):
footfall of Joe, but no sound broke the stillness.
He began to fear that the ruffian would not make his
appearance, and not much. Relishing his own situation.
He had placed his hand to his mask to remove it when he heard
a stealthy step just outside thevault.
Jack strained his eyes through the darkness toward where the
little black door was situated, and drew his white cloak closer

(01:00:40):
around him. The door opened.
The figure of a man could just be traced by Jack in the square
opening. He held his breath and continued
to gaze anxiously. He had no doubt that it was Joe,
although he was unable to trace more than an outline of a human
figure. He had No Fear that he should be
discovered himself till the man entered the vault, or he

(01:01:01):
revealed himself, for the blackness of the place was so
dense that no object could be seen without the aid of a light.
But, thought Jack, all at once suppose the Rascal should throw
his ill gotten gain into the vault and go away.
I shall be bulked of my gratification, and he will not
get the reward I intended for him unless I follow him and give
him a fright among the tombstones.

(01:01:22):
Jack was about to leap off his seat when, muttering a long
curse at the darkness, Joe stepped over the threshold of
the black door and stood in the vault.
Then, pushing the door partly tobehind him, and still holding it
with one hand and looking towardthe front light of the
churchyard beyond, he struck A phosphorus match on its panels.

(01:01:43):
The instant the match ignited, Joe shut the door close,
evidently because the light strengthened his courage for one
thing, and for the other from fear of its glimmer being seen
outside the vault. Holding it so as to permit the
flame to burn up brightly, he dropped the bundle at his feet,
and placed his disengaged hand in his pocket for the purpose of
extracting a piece of wax taper to ignite from the match.

(01:02:07):
When he turned his head half fearfully round, and catching
sight of a horrible figure sitting on the coffin, he
uttered a loud shriek of terror,dropped the match from his hand,
and grasped at the door of the vault, which, in his terror, he
did not succeed in laying hold of, and stumbling against the
bundle, fell heavily to the ground.
Jack slipped quietly from the coffin.

(01:02:29):
In an instant Joe sprang to his feet, but so great was his
terror that he had completely forgotten the position of the
door, and in his eagerness to escape he stretched forth his
hands and clutched at the coffinwhich Jack had just vacated.
With another cry of terror Joe sprang back.
The perspiration had started in cold drops from every pore of
his body. His limbs were trembling as if

(01:02:52):
they had been struck with palsy.His teeth chattered so loudly
that in the darkness of that vault they sounded like the
rattling of a dice box, and added even to the terrors of the
already affrighted man. Again he sought to find the
door, when his coat was clutchedfrom behind him, and he was
dragged violently back against the side of the coffin.
The blow resounded through the hollow vault like a clap of

(01:03:15):
Thunder, and its echoes mingled with the shriek of the terrified
man. A moment he appeared to stand
bewildered, and horror struck, and then with a bound he again
spraying for the door. As he grasped at it a soft
substance struck against his face, and once more he recoiled.
Jack had silently raised the bundle from the ground and
thrusted against Joe's cheek. Oh, this is horrible.

(01:03:38):
Gasped the guilty Wretch as he once more came in contact with
the coffin. Laughed Jack in a hollow tone.
The sound echoed around the vault, and to the affrighted
senses of Joe appeared to have come from the coffin.
All strength deserted him now, and he staggered back till his
shoulders rested against the side of the vault, and holding

(01:04:01):
out his hands before him, he leaned for support against the
cold brickwork and gasped for breath.
Frantically he glared through the darkness with staring
eyeballs. His hair, he could feel, was
stretching out and standing on his head.
His knees knocked together, and he felt that gradually his limbs
were sinking under him. Oh, how he strove to cry for
help. His tongue, however, cloved to

(01:04:24):
the roof of his mouth, and he could not utter a sound.
His lips became parched and dry,his breath came in short gasps,
his heartbeat against his side as if it would burst through his
bosom, and it's throbbing he could plainly hear in the awful
stillness. Truly, he was terribly punished,
for great indeed was the agony he endured.
Suddenly a strange luminous gleam of blue light played upon

(01:04:47):
the coffin, and as horror struck, Joe gazed towards it.
He could just see the dim outline of a white, ghastly
figure standing beside it. With a desperate effort Joe
summoned up all his energies to make once more for the door and
escape from that horrible place.He reached it, his hands clasped
its black panels, he drew it open, but ere he could pass

(01:05:09):
through it a hand seized his shoulder and held him firm.
He turned a quick, fearful glance behind him, and as his
eyes encountered the fearful mask of Jack, now illuminated
with phosphorus, he uttered A shriek so loud, so agonizing,
that Jack released his hold oncemore.
Joe sprang forward. His foot touched the threshold.

(01:05:30):
He staggered for a moment, then fell on his face, dead.
Well, let's bring Jack back in for a landing, hopefully outside
the churchyard rather than inside it.
This chapter is pretty uneventful other than it puts
our hero in a pretty ambiguous light, doesn't it?

(01:05:52):
But he's off and away. Wonder if the locals will figure
out that the ghost was Spring Heeled Jack.
If so, and if he's caught some time down the line, this could
turn into a pretty awkward eventfor him.
Well, now it's time to turn to our last penny dreadful in our
lineup. But first, that line of early
Victorian prison poetry. Said he to Prig.
I think no sin for sure a Roman.He must have tin.

(01:06:15):
Hey ho, the Cove rig means to steal straight up larceny of all
types that doesn't involve interpersonal interactions from
pickpocketing to smash and grab.Jewelry store jobs, glaciers.
They called the coves that specialized in those to Ken
millings, which are house breakings.
Of course. Aromani, you probably knew this
is a person of Romani heritage and or culture, more

(01:06:38):
specifically a member of one of the gypsy families which at that
time lived as a migrant subculture in England and were
always very much on the cross asthey said.
And tin meant money. Tin is silver colored and was
sometimes used to debase silver coins.
And so it's also a reference to the non valuable part of any
given half crown or florin coin.So now it's time for our next

(01:07:01):
chapter of The Black Band of theMysteries of Midnight by Mary E
Bradden. We don't have another line from
the Thieves song as those were the only two stanzas printed.
I'm sure there were lots more and probably they made them up
on the spot, but this is what I've got here.
It is complete, or rather as complete as I have it.
The beak looked big and shook his head.

(01:07:21):
Hey ho, the beak. He wished these family coves
were dead so honest folk might get their bread.
Hey ho the beak, the family Cove.
He grin to grin. Hey ho, the Cove, he said to
prig. I think no sin for sure.
A Roman. He must have tin.
Hey ho the Cove. Now, rather than trying my hand
as an improv bandit balladeer and going for 1/3 stanza, I'm

(01:07:43):
going to reach into the hat for another mystery word.
It's to slang, as in the family Cove.
Went for it off the twig, but hedidn't get fall, but Beacon
slanged him on the left pin. Do you know it?
See if you can dope it out from context.
But now let's turn to our last dreadful Chapter 10 of The Black
Band are The Companions of Midnight by Mary Elizabeth

(01:08:06):
Bradden. Chapter 10.
The Millionaire's Resolve. Robert Merton.
The millionaire sat alone in thewell furnished library of a
handsome house in Park Lane. From the ceiling to the floor,

(01:08:28):
the walls of the large room werecovered with books in plain but
expensive bindings, books which,from their character, became a
key to the mind of the man who had selected them.
Robert Merton, plain and unaffected as were his manners,
was neither a fool nor a dance. He had educated himself, from

(01:08:48):
the hour in which he had first begun the world, as an errand
boy in that Manchester warehouse.
No opportunity had ever been lost by which he could improve
his mind or extend his knowledge.
Blessed with an intellect far above that of his fellows, he
had at a very early age cultivated and refined his taste
in matters both of science and art.

(01:09:11):
There were many of the proud aristocrats among whom his lot
was now cast, who freely owned him, their superior in all those
mental attributes which, far more than rank or high sounding
title, served to make a man truly great.
Let us look at the wealthy merchant as he sits under the
light of a green shaded reading lamp.

(01:09:31):
It is that very night upon whichthe dreadful tidings of the
Marquess of Willoughby's untimely death have reached the
despairing and sorrow stricken Mother Robert Merton is not what
the world commonly calls a handsome man.
The broad forehead upon which the subdued light of the lamp
now falls is the shrine of the intellect rather than of mere

(01:09:53):
physical beauty. The bright and fearless blue
eyes beam with an expression which reveals a noble and
truthful soul, and the features,though sufficiently regular, are
not strictly beautiful, and the complexion is bronzed by
exposure to all varieties of weather.
For Robert Merton is a bold rider and a daring sportsman,

(01:10:13):
and his country seat is renownedfor its hunting stud and the
princely hospitality of its owner, who is beloved and
respected throughout the countryto which he belongs.
The book falls from the hand of the millionaire who relapses
into deep and earnest thought. If I could only think, if I only
dared believe that she loves me,he murmured, I should be the

(01:10:35):
happiest and proudest of men. But I fear that I am blinded by
this mad infatuation, deluded perhaps by an artful woman who
sets her loveliness against the wealth which buys it, and
glories in the unnatural barter.He took up his book as he
finished speaking, and tried to bury himself in its pages.

(01:10:57):
He had been reading about half an hour when the door opened,
and a footman entered, carrying a silver salver, upon which lay
half a dozen letters which had just arrived by the last London
delivery. He looked at them with an eager
glance as they lay spread upon the salver with the addresses
uppermost, and then swept them on to the table with a careless

(01:11:18):
gesture. He had been able, in that one
brief glance, to discover that neither of the letters came from
Lady Edith Vandalur, and he was perfectly indifferent as to
their contents. He opened one envelope after
another and cast the letters away after reading the first
line. One or two were business
letters. Three of the others contained

(01:11:39):
cards of invitation. The last was directed in a hand
that was unfamiliar to him. He looked at it thoughtfully for
a few moments before breaking the seal and then, tearing it
open, began to read. No sooner had he read the first
line than a fearful change came over his face.
He read the letter once, twice, three times, gazing at it as if

(01:12:01):
he thought his eyes must deceivehim.
But after the third line he groaned aloud and exclaimed.
It is not a dream. My worst fears are realized, and
I am indeed the dupe I feared tobecome.
The letter, which was anonymous,ran thus.
You are deceived and fooled to the top of your bent.
Lady Edith Vandalur is a heartless coquette who would

(01:12:24):
reject you tomorrow with scorn were you deprived of the wealth
for which she alone values you. A rich marriage has been her
ambition ever since she left thenursery.
The man she really loves is LordLionel Montfort, the younger
brother of the Marquess of Willoughby.
Be warned in time and withdraw from this.
I'll omened marriage before it is too late.

(01:12:46):
A rival but sincere friend, Coward, exclaimed the merchant,
rising and throwing the anonymous epistle into a bronze
casket which stood upon a side table.
Coward to. Stab in the dark and slander a
woman from the shelter of his nameless insignificance.
A friend though a rival. A rival he owns as much.

(01:13:07):
This letter is dictated by the impotent fury of a jealous mind.
I will prove myself superior to this infamous insinuation.
And yet, and yet, it only confirms my own fears.
Lord Lionel, Mount Fort, the very man who surprised us in the
Conservatory. I noticed her agitation on

(01:13:27):
beholding him. Even in that moment of
triumphant rapture, when I thought I had won her as my own
Lord Lionel, the very man with whom I watched her in such close
conversation in the antechamber of her father's ballroom.
The very man to whom Colonel Bertrand the Austrian pointed
when he told me to judge for myself.

(01:13:48):
By heaven, cried Robert Merton, his teeth clenched together and
his blue eyes flashing with an unwanted light.
I will judge for myself. I will put her to the.
Test, And if I find her true, a life's devotion shall repay her
for a moment's doubt. Early the next morning Lady
Edith Vandalur received a letterfrom her Afian's husband in

(01:14:08):
which she implored her to go to him immediately, hinting darkly
at some terrible calamity under which her love alone could
sustain him. She turned pale as death as she
read the epistle which was handed to her at the breakfast
table where she was seated alonewith her father, Lord Horton.
The first thought that flashed through her brain was that the
man to whom she was to be married was perhaps ruined.

(01:14:31):
She had heard of the dangers of speculation, and she fancied
that Robert Merton's princely fortune might have fallen a prey
to some terrible crash in commercial affairs.
But her powerful intellect and strong will did not allow her to
be subdued even for a moment. Collecting herself in an instant
after the reading of the letter,she said to her father with

(01:14:51):
seeming indifference. Do you know how Mr. Merton is
going on, Papa? He is not hazarding his fortune,
I hope, on any silly speculations.
Lord Horton looked up from his newspaper and laughed as he
glanced at his daughter's handsome face.
What, Edith? He exclaimed.
Are you beginning to tremble already for the thousands of
your future husband? Do not be alarmed, my dear girl.

(01:15:14):
Oh, though Robert Merton is the most open hearted and generous
of fellows, he is prudence itself.
I believe that he has done with speculation, and then he does
not intend to risk another pennyof his fortune, which is so
large that he can have no wish to increase it.
He'll find a little difference when I begin to spend it for
him, though, Papa, replied Lady Edith, joining in her father's

(01:15:36):
laugh. I mean to show the fashionable
world what splendor is when I change the ancient name of
Vandalur for that of a Manchester tradesman.
Never mind the trade, Edith answered.
The Earl. Robert Merton is a noble fellow,
and I shall be proud of him for a son-in-law.
As to his money, I can tell you that the Bank of England is not
more secure than the fortune of your future husband.

(01:15:58):
Lady Edith glanced contemptuously at her
good-natured old father, and soon after retiring from the
table, ordered her carriage and went to her own apartments to
assume her outdoor costume. This is an extraordinary breach
of all etiquette, she said to herself as her elegant Clarence
took her from Hanover Square to Park Lane.
But what can be expected from a man who was bred in a merchant's

(01:16:21):
office and educated at a clerk'sdesk?
He asks me to go to him, as if something very important
depended upon my complying, and I do not like to oppose his
silly whim for fear of his taking it into his head that I
do not love him for the country.Boobie has some stupid romantic
notion of wishing to be loved bythe woman he marries.
Heaven help him. Arrived at Park Lane, Lady Edith

(01:16:44):
Vandalur was shown into the library in which Robert Merton
had been seated when he receivedthe letter which had given him
so much pain. The lady glanced round the room,
and then sinking into an easy chair, prepared to await the
coming of the master of the house.
He was rather longer than she had anticipated, and growing
weary of waiting, Lady Edith arose and amused herself by

(01:17:06):
looking at the decorations of the room.
She was just growing tired of this when her eye was attracted
by the exquisitely carved bronzecasket standing upon a side
table. This was the very casket into
which Robert Merton had thrown the anonymous letter received by
him the night before. It is very beautiful, she said.

(01:17:26):
Who would have thought that a Manchester merchant could have
such taste? And they might venture to guess
that my uncultivated husband, that is to be, keeps nothing
better than his cigars in this valuable casket.
As she spoke, she carelessly raised the bronze lid.
There was nothing in the casket but two or three crumpled
papers, the writing upon the uppermost of which of these was

(01:17:48):
clearly visible, and Lady Edith Vandalur's piercing glance
caught the syllables which formed her own name.
So she muttered. It appears that this does
concern me. She glanced at the door of the
library. It was firmly shot, rapid as
lightning in her movements. She snatched the letter from the
casket and ran her eyes hastily over its contents.

(01:18:09):
Having done so, she dropped the paper back into the box, and,
closing the lid, threw herself into an easy chair to await the
entrance of Robert Merton. So I have enemies.
Have I? She said, with a dangerous fire
flashing from her glorious dark eyes.
Enemies who envy me my good fortune, and who wish to destroy
my prospects. No matter.

(01:18:30):
We shall see if Edith Vandalur cannot be a match for those who
would injure her. This poor fool loves me.
His standing for me this morning, his dark hints at some
calamity which has befallen him.Oh, this may be only meant to
try me. I shall be upon my God.
How fortunate that I happen to find that letter, for that will

(01:18:51):
give me a clue to his conduct. The door opened as she spoke,
and Robert Merton entered the room.
He was pale and haggard in consequence of the sleepless
night which he had passed in thelong hours of darkness.
His truthful and honest heart had been cruelly rent with
bitter doubts of the woman he loved.
But now his blue eyes beamed with a new light, the light of

(01:19:12):
happiness, for he thought that her coming to him in reply to
the alarming letter was no smallproof of her sincerity.
Robert. She cried, her whole manner
changing as her Afian's husband advanced to meet her.
Robert, tell me what has happened.
Your letter has filled me with alarm.
I implore you to keep no secretsfrom your future.
Wife, I will not, Edith, said the merchant gravely.

(01:19:34):
Resume your seat, I beg, for I have much to say to you, much
that must be said, and on which perhaps the happiness or misery
of our future lives may depend. He seated himself opposite to
her, and after a few minutes reflection began.
Thus, Lady Edith Vandalur, from the hour in which I first beheld
you, I have loved you with that mad and blind affection which

(01:19:56):
man can know only but once in a lifetime.
My humble origin, my lowly parents, a youth of labour and a
manhood devoted to commerce, allthese separated me from that
haughty sphere in which you moved a bright particular star.
But lacking high birth and an ancient name, title and
hereditary honours, I still had that which enabled me to take my

(01:20:17):
place among the proudest of you.I had gold, Lady, Gold without
which I should have been spurredfrom the doors which are now
open to welcome me. Gold, the magical key which
unlocks all hearts and admits its owner into the lordliest
mansion as a courted and honoured guest.
Presuming, perhaps, upon my wealth, I ventured to reveal my

(01:20:38):
love and to implore its return. You swore Lady Edith Vandalur to
love me. Forgive me if I allude to all
these things, but I do it for a solemn purpose.
Forgive me when I tell you that there have been times that I
have doubted you, when I have thought that perhaps, had I been
poor, you too, like the rest of the world, would have despised
and spurned me. Edith, Edith, tell me, I implore

(01:21:00):
you, Is this so? Robert, how can you think it?
She lifted her beautiful eyes, beaming with tenderness to his
face as she spoke. He must have been more than a
man if he could have resisted that bewitching glance.
And would you still love me, Edith, Were IA poor man
tomorrow? He asked.
As dearly as I have ever loved you, As dearly as I love you

(01:21:23):
now. The heartless and mercenary
woman laughed within herself at the double meaning of her
studied reply. Then, Edith, I'm about to test
the sincerity of your words. I'm a ruined man.
She started, and for a moment her presence of mind forsook
her, But the words of her fatherthe Earl flashed back upon her
memory, those words in which Lord Horton had so positively

(01:21:46):
asserted that Robert Merton had ceased to speculate, and that
his fortune was as secure as theBank of England itself.
Remembering this, the mind of Lady Edith Vandalor was
resolved. She knew what course to take.
If that is so, dearest Robert. She murmured, extending her
white hand to the astonished merchant.
If it is indeed so, your changedfortunes shall make no

(01:22:07):
difference in my love. I am not, perhaps, well fitted
to become a poor man's wife, forthey've been nursed in the lap
of splendor and luxury. But I will do my best to make
you happy, and whatever your fate may be, I will share that
fate. Without one word of repining,
Robert Merton rose from his seatand clasped her in his arms.
My beloved, he cried. How little did I know your pure

(01:22:31):
and noble heart? I have put you to a cruel test,
my Edith, and I must implore forgiveness for the unmanly
deception. My fortune has never been in any
danger. I am as rich as ever.
What? Exclaimed Lady Edith.
You have indeed wronged me by a doubt which I so little
deserved, but I forgive you for the sin against my love.
For at least it has enabled me to prove the truth of my

(01:22:54):
affection. One more proof, Edith, grant me
but one more, urged Robert Merton, pressing his lips to her
arched brow. My love is so intense, and I am
full of jealous fear. I dread 100 things which may
occur to interfere with my happiness.
Grant me one favour. Name it Robert.
Our marriage is appointed for this day month to take place at

(01:23:15):
Saint George's Hanover Square. It is.
Marry me privately today. I will ask none of the
privileges of a husband. I will leave you at the church
door. But let me only feel that you
are indeed mine, united to me bythe sacred tie of the church.
Mine in life or death. Will you grant this, Edith?
It is such a singular request, she said hesitatingly.

(01:23:38):
It is, my darling, but love is full of wavered fancies.
Be my wife, then. Were I to die tomorrow to you
and you alone, would I leave my fortune, For who could have so
good a right to it as my wedded wife?
The license is procured. An old friend of mine, a banker
from Manchester, the truest and most honourable of men, will act
as father, and give my fair bride away.

(01:24:00):
Say, Edith, that you will consent.
I can refuse you nothing. Robert murmured.
Lady Edith, the merchant rang the bell.
Tell Mister Danvers that I shallbe glad to see him here for a
few minutes. He said to the servant to answer
the summons and order the carriage.
We will proceed at once to the church, dearest.
Your own carriage can wait. In the meantime, if you should

(01:24:22):
think it necessary to explain your absence, you can say that
we have driven to a jeweler's toorder the setting of some
diamonds which are preparing foryou.
I do not. Ask my beloved to tell a
falsehood. For I am about.
To request you to choose what sets of jewels you would like to
see on the toilet table of Lady Edith Merton.
At this juncture Mr. Danvers, the banker, made his appearance

(01:24:43):
and was introduced by Robert Merton to the lovely bride.
Arthur Danvers was a man of about 60, tall, stout and
powerfully built, Hale and rosy,with iron Gray hair and a
handsome face. He was the very model of a
country gentleman. Truth and candor beamed in his
honest countenance. His sonorous voice rang through

(01:25:04):
the room, and his hearty laugh warmed the heart of the
listener. He was a bachelor, and pretended
to be a woman hater, but he had half a dozen penniless nieces,
the daughters of a deceased and escaped Grace brother, living
with him at his handsome countryhouse.
And there was not one of those six young ladies who would not
have declared against all the world that Arthur Danvers was

(01:25:25):
the gentlest hearted and most amiable of men.
It was not very safe to offend him, though, for he flew into a
towering rage in 5 minutes, and would bluster until those who
did not know him were terribly alarmed.
His penetrating glance narrowly observed Lady Edith Vandalur as
his friend introduced him to her.
My friend Bob here couldn't havechosen much better, my lady, if

(01:25:48):
it's beauty he wants. Said the blunt old banker.
But beauty is only skin deep, you know, and I hope Robert has
secured something that will wearbetter than the brightest eye or
the loveliest face. Surely there must be goodness in
truth below such a fair surface.Hey, Bob.
Although Mr. Danvers spoke half jestingly, a close observer
might have discovered that the worthy banker glanced rather

(01:26:09):
uneasily at Lady Edith's handsome face, and Robert Merton
handed his betrothed into the carriage, and then took his
place opposite to her. Mr. Danvers seated himself by
his friend's side, and abandonedhimself to a long and earnest
scrutiny of the lady's face. Arthur Danvers and Robert Merton
had been true and sincere friends ever since the latter

(01:26:31):
had begun his career as a juniorclerk in the warehouse in which
he had once been an errand boy. They had been associated in many
speculations, all of which had been successful, and the
attachment between them was suchas might have existed between a
father and a son. Was little wonder, then, that
the banker looked with some curiosity at the lovely face of

(01:26:51):
the woman who is about to becomethe wife of his friend.
He knew the world, and had been in the course of a long career,
brought into contact with many strange characters.
To him the face was always an index to the mind, a key by
which he could often read the inner workings of the heart.
The countenance of Lady Edith Vandalor puzzled him, it seemed,

(01:27:12):
all candor and radiance. A little proud, perhaps, but
there might be nobleness of souleven in that very pride.
And yet he felt restless and uneasy, and was not altogether
satisfied with his friend's choice.
The church to which they drove was situated in an obscure
corner of the city, a quiet little nook, in which the
appearance of a lady, bonneted and shawled, tended by two

(01:27:34):
gentlemen in morning costume, attracted no attention.
The service was read, the vows pronounced, which are so often
spoken by perjured lips, and Robert Merton and Lady Edith
Vandelor were man and wife. Did the holy words of the
ceremonial awaken no solemn thoughts within the worldly soul
of the ambitious woman? No, alas, no.

(01:27:58):
Wealth, splendor, luxury, grandeur, pomp and pride, these
were the things for which she sold herself, and of these alone
she thought the ceremony over. The carriage drove to a
jeweler's at West End, where Lady Edith selected several sets
of jewels at the request of her generous husband, who valued his
wealth only for the power it gave him to gratify every wish

(01:28:20):
of the woman whom he loved. The jewels were taken to the
carriage, upon the back seat of which they lay glistening and
sparkling in their caskets of Morocco, lined with purple
velvet and Snow White satin. The lady gazed at them with
triumphant eyes as her carriage drove her back to her father's
house. It was for such baubles as these

(01:28:41):
that she had uttered the false vows which become a blasphemy
upon the wicked lips which speakthem.
What Oriental slave purchased bya Sultan's emissaries in an
Oriental slave market was ever more degraded than the woman of
rank who sells herself for the gold of the man she despises?

(01:29:05):
Well, that's it for the black band.
And yeah, that escalated quickly, didn't it?
It seems like the sole source oftension and interest in the
black band consists of characters blithely going ahead
with very bad ideas while we, the audience members, silently
scream at them to stop while they still can.
Well, not the sole source, but one of the prime ones.

(01:29:26):
I think it's also interesting onanother level.
One of the more intriguing things about the Black Band is
it's one of the mid Victorian titles that is intended partly
as political allegory or social allegory maybe I should say.
The earlier titles were all about being entertaining.
No attempt was made to use them as a platform to, as it were,
test drive sociological or political ideas.

(01:29:49):
The later ones, not the case. The Penny Dreadfuls had gotten
popular enough that artists had started thinking of them as a
place to inject big ideas into the world and perhaps change the
world for the better. It's the same classic tug of war
that happens to all media. They start out as pure spectacle
and raw entertainment, and over the years they start being taken

(01:30:10):
seriously as art and they get changed subtly.
They become, to a greater or lesser degree, polemical, and
The Black Band is a great example of this.
It's one of the first things Mary Bradden ever wrote, so
she's less subtle about it here than she is in her more well
known works later. What I'm thinking of now is the
weddings. There have been two of them now,

(01:30:30):
both conducted on the spur of the moment and by stealth and in
secret. One of them is with a man whose
real name we don't even know, who has establishments and
cities all over Europe, so it's probably bigamous, or so a
contemporary reader would wonder.
The other seems, well, just really ill advised and not
motivated at all by the spirit that marriage sacrament is

(01:30:52):
supposed to embody. And Mary Bradden probably had
little reason to approve of the institution of marriage or to
have a lot of respect for it as a sacrament, because it had
actually cast rather a pall overher life, both in her parents
broken marriage and in her own marriage in all but name to
publisher John Maxwell, who couldn't marry her because his

(01:31:14):
first wife wouldn't let him havea divorce.
Yeah, it's like a Mr. Rochester situation, except the first wife
was living with her parents rather than being crazy in the
attic. Maybe one of these Tuesdays I'll
drop a hape in a horrid mini So to tell the full biography of
her life. It makes a pretty interesting
story, and it might explain a few things, but let us return,

(01:31:34):
as the French say, to our muttons, and we're wrapping up
our readings for the week. I hope you enjoyed them as much
as I did. So now, before we nizzle off,
what does to slang mean? The family Cove went Ford off
the twig, but he didn't get fall.
Vabeka slanged them on the left pin.
It means to have a shackle on one leg, in this case the left.

(01:31:57):
A ball and chain, probably. You can imagine our crook and
the Bailey wouldn't be able to run far with an iron ball
shackle to his left pin. That concludes this episode of
the weekly Penny Dreadful Story Hour.
I hope you will join me again next week.
Same Spring Hill time, same Spring Hill channel, and we'll
have Chapter 49 of Sweeney Todd and Chapter 11 of all the rest.

(01:32:19):
In Sweeney Todd, the poor Barbara's apprentice, Tobias
Ragg, remains in a state of temporary insanity, but Colonel
Jeffrey has learned that he has a childhood sweetheart, Minna
Grey, and sent Tobias dimwitted mother to bring her.
Will she be able to bring him back to his senses?
And if she does, will he be ableto tell anything that will shed
light on Sweeney Todd's many crimes?

(01:32:40):
In Black Bess a strange travelercomes to the hand and keys in
and knocks on the door just as aguest is telling about a
horrible murder that was committed there eight years
previously. A not over well liked steward
was stabbed to death in a room upstairs and robbed.
The knocker is brought in by thefire and the story continues,
but the newcomer becomes agitated and goes upstairs.

(01:33:01):
Before too long. He seems very uneasy.
Then a pistol shot rings out in the night air.
In Varney, the vampire Henry Bannerworth urges Charles
Holland to flee and leave the vampire blighted Bannerworth
family to its fate, but he steadfastly refuses to do so,
reaffirms his commitment to Flora regardless of whether she

(01:33:23):
is doomed to take on the undead life of a vampire after her
demise, and asks to be billeted in the room in which the undead
apparition visited her. Will he prove more than a match
for vampy? He hopes so.
In Springhill, Jack, Jack is in a tight spot, trapped in a
churchyard vault with the fresh corpse of the thief.

(01:33:45):
He has just frightened to death,with a crowd growing outside,
attracted by the thief's terrified shrieks.
If he's caught in the vault, he'll probably be prosecuted for
murder. Can he escape?
In the black band we meet another couple of characters, an
elderly man with rat like eyes by the name of Samuel Crank, who
is an agent for something or someone.

(01:34:07):
Nobody in the neighborhood knowsprecisely who or even what
Samuel Crank looks like. Then a tall dark man comes to
his office and we recognize him as Colonel Mephistopheles Oscar
Bertrand himself. What fresh deviltry could they
have afoot? Then a knock at the door and our
Mephistopheles hides to eavesdrop.

(01:34:27):
Who could it be? What could they want?
All that plus another bunch of fives and flash.
Can't. Words are coming your way next
Saturday Eve. Our theme music is a track
called Night Ragents by Maxim Cornishev.
You can find more of his work onSpotify, Apple Music, Band Camp
and probably some other places too.
The Penny Dreadful Story Hour isa production of Pulp Lit

(01:34:49):
Studios. For all the gory details, look
to pulp-lit.com. To get in touch with me, hit me
up at finn@pulp-lit.com. Thanks again for joining me me
Nabs. It's time for us to bolt the
moon for the penny dreadful chafing crib.
I'm Professor Flash, AKA Finn JDJohn signing off now.

(01:35:10):
Fair forth and fill up the rest of the week with Prime gig.
Bye now.

All Episodes

023: Can Minna bring Tobias back? — The highwayman's orphan protege finds a home — is poor Flora vampire-cursed? — Spring-Heel'd Jack in a tight spot — the millionaire makes a snap decision!

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