July 9, 2024 • 44 mins
Hey there, friends! Welcome back to another episode of The Plunge. Grab your favorite drink, get comfy, and let's dive into the chaos that is our lives. Today, we’ve got a wild ride of stories, laughs, and a bit of karma biting back.
Oh, and karma made a swift appearance. Imagine hitting a deer minutes after a petty Instagram post. Yup, you heard that right. This deer, aptly named Karma, practically obliterated the front end of the car. The irony? Absolutely delicious.
And speaking of making the best, let's talk about the towing company fiasco. Ever dealt with a tow company that’s more of a headache than help? Yeah, us too. From outrageous fees to the runaround, it’s a saga you won’t believe.
We also had a blast at the pool party, celebrated with some Sun Cruisers (Joe’s lemon, anyone?), and got hilariously wine drunk. Shout out to the 1.5-liter bottles of wine—those things are trouble! Ever had a wine hangover? It’s no joke. Picture bloodshot eyes, a pounding headache, and feeling like you’re breathing fire. Yep, we’ve been there.
On a lighter note, we’re diving back into some fun with Plungeons and Dragons on Patreon. Plus, get ready for a Godzilla episode where we rank and review a whole bunch of Godzilla movies. It’s going to be epic!
Thanks for joining us on this wild ride. Don't forget to check out our Patreon for exclusive content and stay tuned for more laughs, stories, and a whole lot of fun. See you next week!
P.S. Ever sent a message to the wrong person? Yeah, imagine sending "Daddy Daemon needs to teach that boy a lesson" to an old woman. Mortifying, right?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Shelby stole two of my pillows She just took them Vanished into thin air,
She took the used sponge That we had,
Which was like petty A soap dispenser that I bought She did leave a sweatshirt
That I'm going to either Throw away or just give to somebody Do you want to
(00:22):
burn it? Do you want to cut it into rags?
Rags to riches Bitches get itches i took the plunge and uh i had the time of
my life i finally took the plunge you know what just break.
Music.
(01:02):
We'll be right back. What's up guys? Welcome to The Plunge. Today is a day.
Joining me as always, my award-winning husband, Riley T. Say what's up, dude.
Can we do, should we have like a basement, a hug and a pillow,
best friends pod? No, you gotta get your own pillow. This isn't like that.
It's a different type of gay.
So, you know, and that's just how I felt. When she moved out.
(01:25):
I think you felt a very different way I felt really good until I felt really
not good Karma is a bitch Karma is a bitch I should have known better,
What's up This motherfucker hit a deer in the most karma fueled immediate immediate,
(01:49):
life punching back moment of all time.
I don't know if she knows, but you think she still watches?
Certainly, right? I don't fucking know. She's got to. Check Facebook.
I don't know. I'm not going to because I don't care.
But you posting with no music. Well, hey, all right.
It's time to break. It's been eight months. It's time to break the news to the
(02:11):
listeners. It's been five, and you should know this.
Me and my. Hey, you. You should know this, too.
No, it's me talking, and you should know this, too.
I think i hit that two weeks ago and it's
always funny it's always funny me and my now ex-girlfriend
broke up and she moved out on at the end of june i'm not gonna say the day i
(02:35):
will in case they know that i'm talking about them and then on the day you posted
a very petty instagram story In my defense,
I did only one other petty thing.
The whole time? Yeah. Yeah.
She did many petty things.
Fair. You did a petty thing, and then karma came for you. Karma was a bitch. Mere minutes.
(03:02):
A deer named Karma ran out in 293. A deer named Karma fucking obliterated your front end entire.
It was not good. it was confirmed not good
i think this is actually the opposite of your last breakup where
i just like showed up at your house and i was sad with taco bell
and all your favorite things and made you feel better that
(03:24):
was my last like relationship i cared about yeah and
this one was the opposite where i was like
hey how about you come to me no because
i said and then you hit a fucking deer oh no because
me and bro i didn't know if you were around because
you were in no you weren't in new york i thought you
were gonna be in new york yeah and then you weren't and
(03:45):
then we were gonna get drinks in the afternoon can
i just say i'm shocked you didn't get a dui test
roadside you looked like a buffoon and you had just hit a deer looking like
well i was talking to him on the i feel like when i talk like you're fine but
you were also there and like highlighter bright bright blue and pink bathing suit and crocs on.
(04:10):
No, no, no. I had the Birkenstocks on and a tank top, I think.
Yeah, and you had like a sketchy backpack. Your backpack looks like that of
a drug dealer. I know you're not. Well, I kind of am, yeah.
But you carry a backpack like someone who slings a lot of illegal drugs would.
So you're just getting your bag ready. Like me rifling through my bag.
(04:31):
Looks like I was about to pull out a gun Yeah Me and Brian pulled up to the scene Of the crime.
I'm so bummed We never found the deer I don't know if it ever I don't know if it died Huh.
You've obliterated it. I did not. I swerved out of the way. I'm pretty sure
(04:54):
I only hit, like, I clipped it.
If I didn't swerve. The math isn't mathing on your deer. What do you mean?
The deer is coming from the other side. No, it's coming from the left.
I know where it was coming. It came from your left, driver's side left. Yes.
Only your left tire got hit. The math is not mathing. I don't know where he went.
(05:14):
Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying. Yes, that's what I'm saying.
So I swerved to the right is what happened.
So I clipped, I don't know where it went Because I mean in the moment I wasn't
like where's the deer going But I mean the next day I came to your house on
my bike And I drove the same way And I looked on both sides of the highway And
(05:35):
never found it How scared were you driving,
The next day or you just drive past that one exit I don't know man When I hit
the deer it wasn't even like My heart started pounding It literally was just
like Like, fucking just another thing. All right, whatever.
Yeah. Because when I called you, I was fine. Oh, yeah.
(05:55):
You were like, I guess I'll see you next week. And I was like, hey, Brian.
We got to go save this dumbass. Yeah, we got to go see this fucking idiot.
Yeah, the cop was cool. The towing company was not. Let me tell you,
the towing company is never cool.
Well, it's like a towing company slash collision center. Never cool. No, they suck.
(06:15):
They're always bad. I called them three times and every time.
Manchester Collision Center over by Walmart?
No, that's where my car is going now. Oh, okay. That's where homeless people
will break into your car and sleep for a night. That's fun.
But if you want to steal some phone chargers, they usually leave a backpack.
I have a cup full of change. They're getting it. Not anymore.
(06:37):
Not anymore, bro. I mean, this place may have stolen it, honestly.
Yeah, what happened with the tow company? So I hit the deer two Saturdays ago
now from day of recording for, I don't know why this would matter,
but I guess it's more for you.
Sure. I hit it just over a week ago, but it was two Saturdays ago.
(06:57):
I called them Monday morning.
Was it Monday morning? Monday, like midday. Cause I had to work that day and
they were closed over the weekend.
Yep. I go, Hey, I got in an accident on Saturday night.
I know that you have my car. You have my car. and I know that there's a collision
center. The cop gave me the whole information.
(07:18):
I just need to know if my car is totaled or like an estimate on the work that needs to be done.
Let's give the viewers at home a little insight.
You're a man who makes a lot of money, who drives a car that's worth maybe a
day and a half of your salary.
No, it's worth like $4,300.
I looked up the Kelly Blue Book value.
I repeat, your car is worth maybe a day and a half of your salary. Peace.
(07:45):
Yeah, listen here, Mizzy. My car is worth like $6,100.
Thank you very much. I drive the shittiest car at my job. You don't. Yeah, I do.
You drive the nicest car at fucking Hannaford's.
Fucking redneck Hannaford's. You're pulling in with that $4,300.
(08:07):
They're like, damn. No front end Corolla. And they're like, that's a really
nice stock. That's stock.
I call them during my lunch on Monday because I had to work that Monday.
They're closed over the weekend.
Makes sense. Holiday weekend. Sure. I think what I just said,
standard question. Is it totaled or how much work? That's their whole job.
(08:27):
Yeah. They're a collision center. They were like, so the person that I talked
to, I don't know what bitch ass country they're from where they barely understand.
Don't get me wrong. They weren't foreign. They were English and understood English.
Okay and they're like yeah i don't know the
collision center is not open and they're closed most of the week
(08:48):
for fourth of july i was like are they in today they're like
i don't know i was like okay do
i need to call a different number here i was like i i will call back another
time yeah just get if they're in today or tomorrow because those are the only
days that it would make sense i guess yeah get them to do that i need that for
(09:09):
like my insurance because i was is just going to report,
hey, this is how much they think the repairs are going to be, and if it,
outweighs what they value the car at. Hey, listen.
I'll tell you right now. Your car is total.
You think so? I hope so. I want a new car. I want to get a new one.
Brother, let's go back four minutes. Your car is worth $4,100.
(09:30):
Pretty much they have like a, usually their number is like 50%.
Your damages exceed $2,000.
The headlight alone is probably like $2,000. You need a whole new front end.
Your car is totaled Start looking Buster No I already talked to Ryan You remember
Mason's friend Ryan Oh yeah So I talked to him Auto Fair Of course Grappone
Grappone now And Concord yeah Okay,
(09:52):
Oh, he's going to get you that bare minimum sticker price.
He pretty much is like, just look on the website and let me know.
I'll hold it for you because he's a manager there now. So pays to know people.
But fast forward. So that was Monday. Called them Wednesday.
Hey, did you ever get this done? And they were like, no.
(10:14):
And I was like, how the fuck did you not get that done? Yeah.
And I was like, okay, whatever. And I was like, are they in today? and they
go no the collision center is closed through today
tomorrow being the fourth yeah and then the
entire rest of the long weekend i was like great sick okay so it's all well
and good i only had after that like i rode my bike to work whatever i only had
(10:37):
four days of work that i had to actually go to on my motorcycle yep and then
now i'm on vacation just nice yeah hell yeah this
has not been a good day way to start vacation because i called them today at 1 p.m,
so i i should let me let me back up i called when they
open today not even like they walk in phone call it was they open let them get
(11:02):
settled it was a holiday weekend 9 30 other other stuff anyways and then i go
hey same fucking person i've talked to in the past three times has same Same
guy picks up? Woman. Same woman? Okay. Huge bitch.
Picks up. Dan City Towing.
(11:23):
Okay. Hello. Yeah, fuck you, Dan City Towing. You're such a scumbag.
Fuck you, Dan City Towing.
Hey. Your karma has not ended. Your karma is now continuing on through to Dan
City Towing. No, it is ended as of, we'll get there. Okay.
So, this bitch. The story ends with your car is totaled. Yeah, hopefully.
(11:43):
It's me calling about the 2013 Toyota Corolla What happened to it You fucking
towed it It doesn't matter what happened to it It's at your establishment And she's like okay,
What did you need? Are you coming in to like. What did you need? It's crazy.
Like pay the whatever stuff and then have it looked at. I was like,
(12:05):
you still haven't done that?
They're like, no. And I was like, I'm coming down anyways. I'll just sort it out when I get there.
I fucking drive to this place. Yep. I was doing stuff in the morning. Sure. We're in town.
Yeah. I get there at about 1.30. Okay. And I walk in. Guess who I saw there as well?
Adriana. What was her last name? Hung out with Dalvin Cook's sister.
(12:28):
Not dalvin cook dalvin cook sister uh dalvin yeah
i know who you're talking about her she was
like i better i better get a refund and i was
like what the fuck kind of clientele is here yeah that's
i didn't choose for it to go here the bedford police department sentence no
one ever does brother no one ever chooses what piece of shit garbage tow company
(12:49):
takes their car and holds their car hostage i came in and the the lawrence carter
held hostage for like a month you're not I think this is super common.
I don't know how it's just regular. Shout out Moody's. It's in Maine.
I don't know if that's a chain or a single establishment.
You guys fucking rock if this ever gets back to you. I had a great experience
(13:10):
with you, and you also gave me a rental.
Don't understand how that works. Anyways, you guys rock.
Shout out. This piece of shit place. i walked in
that manchester trash was
arguing about getting 500 back for
tires yeah i was like i don't know what the fuck i just walked in and when she
was leaving i think she recognized me because you keep your head down yeah i
(13:33):
just yeah i just yeah kept it straight ahead yeah i walk up hey my name's hunter
i'm sorry i've been bothering you all week no you say fuck you where's my car I was like,
I called you a bunch this past week and I really need to know if my car is totaled
so I can report it to my insurance. Because, you know, you're a collision center.
(13:55):
And she goes, oh, if you need to get anything out of your car,
unless it's medication, glasses or whatever, you have to pay.
What amount do you think it, did I tell you what it was? No.
How much do you think it would cost?
I'm going to go just fucking left field answer.
Sir i'm gonna go five dollars an item i think
(14:16):
they're itemizing it's not per item it's a
lump sum to access your car 82.99
82.99 yeah i'm gonna give you one more shot and tell you it's much higher what
to go get shit from your car because i would have had to pay for the towing
service the and i don't know what the fuck is your car like clean up means your
(14:40):
car in like an off-site location?
No, it was just behind the building. Yeah.
How much do you think? $400. A thousand and seventy-one dollars. To go get something?
Because I would have had to pay for the towing. If it's not meant.
The anti-quote clean up. What do you mean to pay for the towing?
You already paid for the towing.
And then, did you know, apparently, it's common practice, $70 a day storage fee?
(15:03):
Yes, that's why they make it the biggest pain in the ass. They never fucking
called me to even let me know that. I never had to do it. You would think that
they'd be like, hey, we have your car.
That's why they make it a pain in the ass. Yeah. and i think that's
why they weren't fucking working on it correct and then
i was like because they know that for 99 of people
the insurance covers it and then the the one
(15:24):
percent that it doesn't get covered they make a thousand bucks they know they
just won't pay and then they're like yeah that's fine or they do like a rebuild
title and sell that car because they anyways i was like yeah they're all crooks
i i was like everyone in the car industry's In my head,
I was like, I talked to you at fucking 9.30 and told you I just need to know.
(15:45):
This is the fourth time I'm saying, asking, telling that I need to know if my car is fucking totaled.
And they're like, so what do you want if you don't want to go get shit out of your car?
I want to know if my car is totaled. I want you to look at my car.
She walked me a little bit down.
What's to stop anyone from being like, it's glasses and medication.
(16:08):
And then not. Yeah. And they'd be like, put it back. Yeah.
So I walk in one, there's a dude with no shirt on vaping and he had,
it's hot. Come on. Prison tattoos. Of course he did.
A woman who has the biggest tits I've ever seen in my entire life.
(16:29):
And then, uh, uh, just a short fat dude who is, he didn't say a word,
but you could tell he was angry.
Yeah. And then she goes, you know, the car that we got last Saturday,
he was like, yeah, he He's like, I need to know if it's totaled or how much
work needs to be done on it. He's like, I can have that done for you in an hour.
I was like, okay, just call me. I still have shit that I need to do.
(16:51):
I need to go get fitted for a suit for Will's wedding, so I went to the mall after. Still nothing.
I was trying to kill time so I could just go back, get it from the horse's mouth,
because clearly these people cannot be trusted to call.
Remember when i told you that everyone you should try to drive your car to my
house this is why partly yeah i get that yeah i don't think i could have done
(17:16):
like my car's like my car's total.
But i come back or i
don't come back i'm sitting in my car it's been an hour and i call my
mom give her the entire thing i go i'm just
gonna fucking call the insurance because i'm done dealing with yeah you should have
just done that day one they'll take care of everything i learned that
this is the first time i've gone through this you can just be like hey you're fucking
(17:39):
dealing with this now and then i called them and then shit immediately usually
works immediately yeah this i called them back i went hey i got tired of like
waiting for you guys to do anything so i'm just gonna come and sign a release
form and i have my my whatever
number yep and the woman immediately starts being a bitch to me yeah they do
(18:05):
more than she already that's what they do and i was like bubba do you want to have any input on this,
As a survivor of a tow truck fraud, collision center fraud.
How? Oh.
Well, it's in her stomach. Nothing. Anyways, to put a nice bow on this. Yeah.
(18:27):
I got that, and then I'm just putting it all behind me. I have my parents' car.
Where's your car right now?
Still there, but I don't have to deal with it, because Geico is like,
Like, yeah, Doug, you just go sign that form. We'll keep you updated.
I can't wait for them to not let the insurance company do anything with the car.
They'll be like, no, the owner needs to sign the release form.
(18:50):
They'll be like, he did. They'll be like, no, we don't have it.
If they do, I'll actually call civil services or better. They will.
They will. If they do that, I looked them up on Yelp.
How many stars do you think they had out of five? Those are hard to look at
because I tried to justify Lauren's before her absolute hell experience.
(19:10):
The only people they deal with are people only down on their luck and having a bad time.
I'll get 1.8. 1.5. Yeah. Okay.
It doesn't go to AIDS. The amount of people who are like, I just live in this
apartment building and they stole my car.
Yeah. Was crazy.
(19:31):
Yeah. That's insane. saying and the owner is like
yeah we did we tried to know like he's responding in
the comments being like yeah we did that shit we wanted
to report ours to the better business bureau they're not on it they're
not credited anymore it's crazy yeah yeah it's really you see sketches gay as
hell oh is he gay gay like real gay he was what do you mean a bunch of stuff
(19:54):
got leaked two years ago he was like a gay only fans model that's nice he was
doing like james charles shit getting pounded up
the butt for only fans for real for real yeah and he was like listen i knew this was out there.
Someday someone was gonna leak it it is
what it is he's like just keeping it moving i think he was gonna quit and then
i think the most of his like internet friends are like bro who cares who gives
(20:18):
a fuck so now i think he's keeping it moving but yeah that's what's up you just
gotta keep it busting yeah because he was like listen i knew this day would
come figured I would just quit whenever the fucking bubble popped,
I had some demons listen what a relief it is that all my super gay porn is now out there.
I have a question is it gay that I want to watch it out of morbid curiosity,
(20:44):
he just keeps on a stream going stay off of twitter.
So that being said I'm going to go to twitter I'll try to find you some gay
sketch No I just want to see him saying Stay off of Twitter Stay off of Twitter,
Yeah he's doing James Charles,
(21:05):
that's funny he's dressing up is he sucking dong
what like real
or just i don't know no idea i think
it's yeah i don't know i think it's him
honestly sucking t-ness good good on
him for just being like yeah you found me out
you got me you fucking got me i
(21:27):
did some gay shit happens happens the best
well the last day was spent with people being like it is it sketch and like
you know being fucking like circling fucking freckles and shit be like that's
the same freckle it's so he's such a distinct looking person it's obviously
he came out he started screaming he's like it's me it's me brother.
(21:51):
I was gay as hell brother he hit him with the george bush you got him yeah it's me it's me
you got me you hey you forensics and
analysts out there just look at my face it's me
it's the same pair of glasses looking brother
man it's me what i took it up the ass brother what a surprise that was to like
(22:18):
get home from work go i tell you didn't i don't use twitter so i i didn't know
just ever be like yo let's tube his thoughts on this he's gonna get a lot less
NFL celebrations this year now.
What do you mean? I think we're going to have a record-breaking year of touchdown
celebrations in the NFL. Does Tuba do that unironically?
Yeah, Tuba's like an actual fan. Yeah.
(22:41):
Checks out. It makes sense. Definitely tracks, yeah. You know how we keep trying
to send people to Cartersville?
Yeah. To find out about the Jebonator incident? You had a fucking family that could go.
Yeah. Well, I tried to send Big Mike when he was down there last weekend. He didn't go.
We got to send Tuba to Sketch, find out what that cavern's like.
There's some exploration in that hole. Can I say just a quick aside?
(23:03):
Yeah. At your pool party on the 5th, your dad was saying something about not
wanting to go into the deep end. I was like, no, no, no. Come here.
Take my hand. And he goes, I can swim.
I've been thinking about that for like three days now. You offended him. Huh?
You offended him. I know, but it was funny. People over 45 don't fuck with gay
shit. Huh? You can't be doing it. I don't care.
You can't be asking an older man if you want to hold hands. It's different when
(23:26):
I'm basically one of his sons. It's not.
Old men don't fuck with gay shit. If you were like, dad. Wouldn't he want to
do it? I would not. Take my hand. Hey, I'd never even ask that to him.
That was rude as hell. I'd never even ask him. I'd hold hands with my dad.
Your dad's younger. true he's younger he's younger
brother we're both
wearing speaking of our dads we're both wearing our finest we're
(23:49):
both wearing our finest garbage person yeah our
our finest garbage person gifted from
a father going i bet he'd like that you know can i tell you do you want to do
you want to display yours first yours is older you can go first all right for
beauty uh you want to know who picked mine actually yeah it wasn't my dad this
is your mom it was my mom nice mine is From Dirty Dick's Crab House In Panama City Beach, Florida,
(24:15):
And on the back It said Turn around, turn around Okay, yeah Dude,
I'm sitting Indian style Here, read it Read it for him, Hunt.
Oh, you can't read. I can read. Yeah.
It says, I got my crabs from Dirty Dick's Crab House. That's right.
That's good. I don't even know. I couldn't tell you what this place is.
(24:37):
You're going to have to read it for me. Yours is the Bonefish Bar and Grill,
Royal Naval Dockyard, Bermuda.
Okay. Yeah. And I also don't know what it says.
Yours says, I had a Big Boner, which is the drink, the Big Boner.
It says the big boner twice on it in like feet it says i had a big boner at bonefish bar and grill,
(25:01):
so yeah we're wearing our standard white trash cruise gift t-shirts to be fair
to be far to be fair i'm pretty white trash yeah it's sick as hell i love it
yeah i think we've ascended to,
beige trash yeah do you always get you know we're white we always used to get
i didn't want like real gifts when my parents went on vacation i wanted a shirt that was like my parent.
(25:27):
I've been to san marco beach
you just wanted normal shirt i just wanted normal shirts and i would just get
i got my crabs at dirty dicks that's nice as hell i also i did get a pink like
a pastel pink hoodie that's nice that checks out it's that suits you well it does,
(25:49):
I feel like I wear very bright colors nowadays. I'm the opposite.
What, you only wear black? I'm a pretty monotone. I wear about four colors.
All my... No, I think... And they're all the same hue. Whatever color it is, it's the dark hue of it.
Yeah, I wear... Not all my... I did wear a white polo today to really show off my nice brown tan skin.
(26:12):
Damn, brother. Yes, so that was nice.
Am I getting tan? Am I still pretty white? You're getting a little tan.
My arms are pretty tan. Yeah. That's something.
The black doesn't complement it. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah.
I had a rough day on Saturday. Dude, I had a rough day on Sunday.
(26:33):
Well, we'll start with you. We'll work our way through the weekend. Yeah.
Friday? No, Thursday, 4th of July. Very fun. We hit the lock.
I got a really funny text, but I can't say it out loud. Can I see it? Yeah.
We hit the lake. Very fun time. Good catch.
(26:54):
Jesus. Is that this weekend? Yeah. No, I see it.
Isn't it gonna be shitty this weekend i don't know it we
had like a 12 day stretch of just 90 degrees and
like mostly sunny starting like today right starting like eight days ago oh
i don't fucking know i don't know i'm gonna be swimming we go i will probably
be here friday night so the big the good news last week i emptied my pool halfway
(27:19):
i remember because i got my light replaced I wanted to finally fix my spotlight. I did.
Shout out, Kyle. Shout out, Kyle G. Shout out, me.
Yeah, shout out, Hunter, for paying for some of it. No, I was going to say you
couldn't have it replaced if I didn't break it. Couldn't have it replaced if
you didn't break it. That's right.
You replaced my spotlight. Had to lower the pool, though.
Now, this was a dangerous quest
(27:41):
to do mere days before the 4th of July weekend. That was ballsy. Yeah.
So I figured Thursday, Friday was just going to be a lake day because the pool
is going to be unswimmably hot.
Hot or cold? Cold. Sorry.
So I fix the spotlight, fill that boy up with a hose. All day Wednesday is the hose day. Mm-hmm.
(28:05):
Thursday comes around. Wednesday comes around. What a delight,
temperature-wise. Is that your Wednesday?
I don't know. You doing yoga over there?
Do you think she's been like half of it? What are you looking for?
Yeah, so Thursday we went to the lake. A delightful day. Yeah.
(28:25):
I showed off how buoyant I was. You were very buoyant. That's pretty impressive,
right? Yeah. You're pretty impressively buoyant.
I climbed a rock with you did climb a rock we were
anchored and you're like you think i can swim to that rock and i was like no
no i said i want to swim to that rock and logan goes you want to swim to the
rock i go yeah do you want to come with me it was like two 11 year olds becoming
(28:47):
it was and then our anchor started like failing us and you guys were just on
is that why you were calling us yes so frantically yes i was like get the fuck back on the boat we need
to move and you were like i'm sitting on a rock and i was like get on the fucking boat,
and then you did gotta be honest i didn't know that's why you were calling yeah
i figured because you guys i was hyped that i was on a fucking rock dude yeah
(29:11):
the rock you look good on the rock,
in one picture there's one photo that you
look cool on there you look infinitely better than logan on the
rock yeah because i'm on the no he looks you
can see every muscle he's just that's because he's just strong i
did look good in that first photo yeah the other one shows
up my skinny legs and fat body it's like a marshmallow on a toothpick so yeah
(29:36):
i got hammered we brought out the boat came back in floated in the haba not
to knock on you it was not the smoothest approach,
on the listen don't care i say when i have two helpers i don't give a fuck i'm
not going back and trying again, we're going into the doc. You'll figure it
out. I mean, we bumped, but...
(29:59):
Immediately after, we righted it, but I was like... Listen, I have two helpers. I'm just going in.
That's all it is. You had 1.3, yeah.
But yeah, that's fine. Accidentally got hammered, so then we couldn't take the
boat back out. It was fine.
Happens. Yeah, it happens. Honestly, I think I had a little more fun floating
in the lagoon because we were just singing.
(30:21):
Yeah, we didn't even have music. We were the music. My uncle tried to say we were bad at singing.
And i said he didn't hear
us sing he did charlie daniels band that went down to
georgia he was looking for a fucking soul to steal
he was way behind he was in a bind he was willing to
make a deal we're not doing it again no we're not friday pool
(30:42):
party what is it also got really fucking
drunk shout out the sun cruisers those are
joe's lemon those were un i haven't had
a drink in a few years where i've been like yo this is
dangerous i kind of felt that way about the the high
noon iced teas i don't like noons you're a
big noon guy i'm not a big noon guy love no it's not no i am big noon you're
(31:06):
a big guy i'm listen i'm a i'm a i'll take a truly or a white claw they're so
much cheaper i don't like i think they taste or water all the noon is seltzer
water no but it tastes different it doesn't taste like static yeah it does no
it doesn't yeah it does I disagree.
Do you have the cilantro gene? Does it taste like soap for you? No.
(31:27):
Maybe that's the difference. Are you a soap lontro guy? I am. Oh, interesting.
It sucks. I've heard that cilantro is delicious. I don't like cilantro.
Every time I- I don't think it tastes like soap. I just don't think it tastes very good.
I do eat it every time to make sure- You just have to give it a little sample run?
No, I eat the whole thing just to see if it's still- I don't think you're supposed
(31:47):
to if we're being so for real right now. Is it poisonous?
It's meant as a garnish, brother. Yeah, but you can eat it. You can eat mint.
You know, like it's true. It doesn't mean you're supposed to,
but I do. I think I've made a hat.
I'd started doing it when I was younger, but I made a habit. Where are you?
(32:09):
Where are you getting bunches of cilantro? I don't really, you don't readily have anymore.
I will say, I don't even remember what it used to come on when I would do this.
It was a restaurant that I don't think is around or that we just don't go to anymore.
Your parents heading out the Outback Steakhouse made me laugh.
That's what it was. That's exactly what it was.
(32:29):
Served with the chicken tendies. Yeah.
Because it was like the little leaves that they put them on to make it look
fancy. And I would chomp on them after I go, yuck.
And then I made a habit out of it. Yeah. And now every time I see cilantro,
I go, I can't possibly still taste soap. Dislike it, right? Still soap.
(32:50):
I don't even dislike it. I kind of like how, it's not gross.
You like the soap? Soap is clean.
It tastes clean. Yeah. That's true.
Where did we get? How did we get here? Yeah.
Sketch? I don't know. Pool party. I'm gay, brother. I'm gay, brother.
Friday, I did have to beat the rain home. I did drive in the rain for a little
(33:12):
bit. That was a little spooky. Not in a car, obviously. Yeah, on my bike. Yeah.
Sunday, I watched six Godzilla movies and contemplated my life's decisions.
There's something that happened to me in between Saturday and Sunday.
Okay. Saturday at work my dad called me Or did he call me No I called him because
(33:33):
I was like hey I usually will text him or call him before I leave If you need
anything from the store I'm already here I can just get it My dad goes Can you
get me a bottle of wine A bottle of wine,
And I was like Yeah I'll No no no He wanted a bottle of Sauvignon,
(33:56):
Cabaret Which is a red See
I did so I
was like you know I'll get a big bottle I'll play some pool The 1.5 Yeah the
big boy The big boy I accidentally used to drink those in college thinking they
were the regular boys And then I would wonder why I'm so fucked up Dude We sat
(34:19):
down I would go make bad decisions off a 1.5 Ha ha ha,
That might have to be the title of the episode. Bad Decisions Off 1.5. Dibs for the Teen Names.
Some of my worst decisions were after a fucking 1.5 of some fucking Moscato.
(34:40):
Dude, I haven't had Moscato. Pink Scott, dude. I haven't, yeah.
Pink Scott tastes like apple juice. That's nice. You drink a 1.5,
you're going to make some bad decisions.
So I get home. I work till 6. i brought
the wine to my dad and then i had you've never
drank wine really i've never drank wine but i
also didn't go down immediately my dad was doing stuff and
(35:02):
he goes come down at like quarter of
eight you being groomed huh no thank
you he goes sorry he goes come
down at like quarter of eight i should be done i think he was
working out cooking dinner doing some yard work because
it was their weekend and i come down
and i go hey you want to play cribbage oh yeah because
(35:24):
they had just gotten back they just got back from their cruise so he
was like they just got back from drinking a bone
a week a night the boner
the big boner the big boner yeah they're sipping big boners and
my dad goes so he
also at this point he hadn't seen it salvin y'all's he
goes that's my boy you got
(35:45):
the big bottle because my dad loves drinking
he likes getting he like he gets after it he too likes a 1.5 so i go yeah i
got a big bottle because i figured i would have a few glasses of wine hang out
down here that's right and me and him play also over the course of two and a half
(36:08):
hours how many games of cribbage do you think we played carry the two uh seven one and a half.
Because we were like we're talking too but incredible okay just we just crushed
it yeah i'm like crush it but not that much where's your mom she's just on the
(36:29):
couch reading okay you might you know that little table in my kitchen yep we're
playing there you've seen the cribbage board yeah Yeah. Yep. We're sitting there.
And then. Slamming one. We had the bottle like near us.
Yeah. My dad kept getting up back and forth because if we slammed a glass,
he'd fill it up, go put it back in the fridge to chill it a little bit. And then. Chill Josh.
(36:50):
At 1030, I checked my phone. I'm like, oh, it's starting to get late. I need to go to bed.
Okay. I need to use my brain at work. Okay.
But I stand up And I was like Uh oh Cause I drank not exactly half Cause my
(37:10):
dad slams wine But if he drank more It was negligible.
Maybe half a glass. You must have been hurting, dude.
On Sunday, that wine hangover is unlike any other.
Have you, you've seen me at my most hungover. Yeah. You know how my,
I don't know if you. You turn into a Victorian era baby.
(37:34):
My eyes were so fucking bloodshot. Yeah. My head hurt so bad.
Yeah. And I legitimately felt like I was breathing out fire.
Yeah. head swimming uh-huh and yeah
that wine hangover fucks one of my technicians walked
in and usually it's good morning i'm gonna
(37:55):
go get the tills i walked over to her and she
just goes what the fuck happened to you
and i was like i am
unwell yeah please go get
the tills i need to go sit down in the back and it's
a sunday so it's slow i i got
there early to collect myself i do it every every time
(38:17):
i work yep so everything's already dumped into they
have to count it and then i do the final check and that's all that's
left yep i think i sat in the back for
like 45 minutes just glasses off
yeah sitting down hand in hand yeah head
and hands just and anytime my tech needed anything she'd come
back and get me and at like yeah that wine
(38:39):
hangover it does not fuck around at nine
she was like hey yeah ma'am am okay so
it's like an hour into work at like nine she comes and she goes are you
like sick i was like i am so unbelievably hung over right now and she goes i'm
gonna go get you some food can you hold it together for like 10 minutes yeah
(39:00):
and i was like yeah yeah she got me food and that's like i feel a little bit better but
dude, I was hurt until 11 a.m. Yeah, that'll happen.
And then I kind of, I went and got some chicken nuggets. Yep.
And then I was like. I'm good now. I'm good, I'm good.
Yeah, it doesn't, it fucks you up. Hold on, I get a, what did I text my,
(39:21):
I also texted Sam thinking that it was you. Yeah.
Because you, I said something about being wine drunk and then I went to text
Sam and then I saw you, I think what happened is.
Click it. You responded. Oh yeah. And then the banner came down and I was like,
Like, I'm already in the text.
And I said, I am Essamon Dunk. Yeah. Dunk.
(39:46):
Shut up. Yeah. Yeah, you did. And then I looked at it. I was like,
that's not Riley. I was like, that was meant for Riley.
Broken English. Yeah. And then. He reads it. It's fine. I don't think I ever texted you.
Speaking of missed accidental sending stuff.
Yeah. My dad just laughed at me. I said, I am hungover at work.
(40:08):
I didn't think I was going to get that drunk last night.
New season of House of the Dragon. Don't spoil. I'm actually going to catch up tomorrow.
Sure. I'm not saying anything spoily. If you watch the show,
you know that Damon and Amon are parallels on opposite sides of each other.
(40:29):
So I'm talking to Nick. Nick is a House of the Dragon guy. We have a House of the Dragon group chat.
I also work with Nick, and I knew he had already watched.
Usually it takes until Monday night until everyone has watched,
so we don't do any spoilers until we know everyone's in the clear.
I knew Nick had watched. I was eyeing him at work. We were talking about the show.
Thinking I was messaging Nick in talking about Eamon Targaryen and Daemon Targaryen,
(40:56):
I said, Daddy Daemon needs to teach that boy a lesson.
I did not send it to Nick.
I sent it No you cannot I sent it to an old woman on my program Did she say anything?
I was fucking horrified I said Daddy Damon needs to teach That boy a lesson
(41:19):
Is she north or south of 51?
North Maybe around That's crazy She just goes I don't think this was meant for
me And I just went yeah sorry talking thrones.
That's fucking criminal yeah I've been thinking about that all day that happened today,
(41:43):
oh today's Monday I've reverted back it's been a short enough time that I'm
back to just sinking into my best impression of being unemployed yeah you are
we have a Godzilla episode coming at some point we also have back on the Patreon coming soon Dune.
Plungeons and Dragons. Are we doing Patreon? Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
(42:05):
There's just five of us, so. You should know this, too. You should know this,
too. Plungeons and Dragons, DM'd by me.
Will's going to be a druid named Bird. Should we do it? Do me and Dwight.
Gimpy and the Stumpersmiths? The Gimpy Stumpersmith and Stumpy Gimpersmith? Yeah.
Yeah. Leave it at that. Yeah. It's going to be a fun time. Yeah,
we have a Godzilla episode coming soon.
(42:27):
Do you have punch picks? I watched like 18 Godzilla movies in a week.
That's crazy stop saying for me
you always say it's for me i don't give a fuck if you do it or not it's your
prerogative you did give me an out i finished the toho region i begged you no
you i did i beg you said may i please not do this and i said granted yeah i
(42:49):
think it was one word granted because yeah you texted me when i was hung over
at work and i was like brother,
so we learned after we got off the air last week that the godzilla spin are
nondescript Godzilla parentheses old encapsulated.
I think it's 37 movies.
I thought you said it was 30. I think it's 33, 33, 34, 34, somewhere in there.
(43:11):
It depends what you consider a Godzilla movie. It's between 33 and 37.
That's, yeah, I do know it was north of 30.
Yeah, so what I did is I watched the Toho region, which is all the movies up
until like 1977, which includes all the originals.
Is that the Toho region? It's the Toho era. They're the production company from that era. Yeah.
(43:36):
I finished it. I did a lot. We'll have a whole episode on that.
We're going to have a tier list. Probably record it tomorrow but release it. Yeah, who knows.
Eventually. Yeah, then P&D, but because of that you've allowed me,
I am getting a new spin. Yes. Let's see it. We'll get out of here. We're going to go swim.
You want to do plunge picks or no? Do you have one? No, do you?
Bubba, you got a plunge picks?
(43:57):
Okay A sharp piece of plastic? How do you know?
She was crunching and I But it either fell out and I'm not finding it or Okay You got the wheel?
No, it signed me out I'll get the wheel Spin me this wheel, Hunt Is it one of the bulbs?
Oh, it did sign me out too What the heck? What the fuck?
(44:21):
This is fucked Hold on Winnie girl You back in?
Almost okay Winnie girl Winnie baby is that right yeah for email I think so yeah I'm in okay,
it didn't ask me for any of the oh I'm gonna hit with a car max at Winnie,
(44:42):
all right I'm gonna get the dog you just do the spin all right oh that's a good
one lethal weapon all right I will take it I'm gonna accept lethal weapon and
And we'll see you guys next week.
Yeah, here's some dog. Show them dog.
Shelby stole two of my pillows She just took them Vanished into thin air,
She took the used sponge That we had,
Which was like petty A soap dispenser that I bought She did leave a sweatshirt
That I'm going to either Throw away or just give to somebody Do you want to
(00:22):
burn it? Do you want to cut it into rags?
Rags to riches Bitches get itches i took the plunge and uh i had the time of
my life i finally took the plunge you know what just break.
Music.
(01:02):
We'll be right back. What's up guys? Welcome to The Plunge. Today is a day.
Joining me as always, my award-winning husband, Riley T. Say what's up, dude.
Can we do, should we have like a basement, a hug and a pillow,
best friends pod? No, you gotta get your own pillow. This isn't like that.
It's a different type of gay.
So, you know, and that's just how I felt. When she moved out.
(01:25):
I think you felt a very different way I felt really good until I felt really
not good Karma is a bitch Karma is a bitch I should have known better,
What's up This motherfucker hit a deer in the most karma fueled immediate immediate,
(01:49):
life punching back moment of all time.
I don't know if she knows, but you think she still watches?
Certainly, right? I don't fucking know. She's got to. Check Facebook.
I don't know. I'm not going to because I don't care.
But you posting with no music. Well, hey, all right.
It's time to break. It's been eight months. It's time to break the news to the
(02:11):
listeners. It's been five, and you should know this.
Me and my. Hey, you. You should know this, too.
No, it's me talking, and you should know this, too.
I think i hit that two weeks ago and it's
always funny it's always funny me and my now ex-girlfriend
broke up and she moved out on at the end of june i'm not gonna say the day i
(02:35):
will in case they know that i'm talking about them and then on the day you posted
a very petty instagram story In my defense,
I did only one other petty thing.
The whole time? Yeah. Yeah.
She did many petty things.
Fair. You did a petty thing, and then karma came for you. Karma was a bitch. Mere minutes.
(03:02):
A deer named Karma ran out in 293. A deer named Karma fucking obliterated your front end entire.
It was not good. it was confirmed not good
i think this is actually the opposite of your last breakup where
i just like showed up at your house and i was sad with taco bell
and all your favorite things and made you feel better that
(03:24):
was my last like relationship i cared about yeah and
this one was the opposite where i was like
hey how about you come to me no because
i said and then you hit a fucking deer oh no because
me and bro i didn't know if you were around because
you were in no you weren't in new york i thought you
were gonna be in new york yeah and then you weren't and
(03:45):
then we were gonna get drinks in the afternoon can
i just say i'm shocked you didn't get a dui test
roadside you looked like a buffoon and you had just hit a deer looking like
well i was talking to him on the i feel like when i talk like you're fine but
you were also there and like highlighter bright bright blue and pink bathing suit and crocs on.
(04:10):
No, no, no. I had the Birkenstocks on and a tank top, I think.
Yeah, and you had like a sketchy backpack. Your backpack looks like that of
a drug dealer. I know you're not. Well, I kind of am, yeah.
But you carry a backpack like someone who slings a lot of illegal drugs would.
So you're just getting your bag ready. Like me rifling through my bag.
(04:31):
Looks like I was about to pull out a gun Yeah Me and Brian pulled up to the scene Of the crime.
I'm so bummed We never found the deer I don't know if it ever I don't know if it died Huh.
You've obliterated it. I did not. I swerved out of the way. I'm pretty sure
(04:54):
I only hit, like, I clipped it.
If I didn't swerve. The math isn't mathing on your deer. What do you mean?
The deer is coming from the other side. No, it's coming from the left.
I know where it was coming. It came from your left, driver's side left. Yes.
Only your left tire got hit. The math is not mathing. I don't know where he went.
(05:14):
Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying. Yes, that's what I'm saying.
So I swerved to the right is what happened.
So I clipped, I don't know where it went Because I mean in the moment I wasn't
like where's the deer going But I mean the next day I came to your house on
my bike And I drove the same way And I looked on both sides of the highway And
(05:35):
never found it How scared were you driving,
The next day or you just drive past that one exit I don't know man When I hit
the deer it wasn't even like My heart started pounding It literally was just
like Like, fucking just another thing. All right, whatever.
Yeah. Because when I called you, I was fine. Oh, yeah.
(05:55):
You were like, I guess I'll see you next week. And I was like, hey, Brian.
We got to go save this dumbass. Yeah, we got to go see this fucking idiot.
Yeah, the cop was cool. The towing company was not. Let me tell you,
the towing company is never cool.
Well, it's like a towing company slash collision center. Never cool. No, they suck.
(06:15):
They're always bad. I called them three times and every time.
Manchester Collision Center over by Walmart?
No, that's where my car is going now. Oh, okay. That's where homeless people
will break into your car and sleep for a night. That's fun.
But if you want to steal some phone chargers, they usually leave a backpack.
I have a cup full of change. They're getting it. Not anymore.
(06:37):
Not anymore, bro. I mean, this place may have stolen it, honestly.
Yeah, what happened with the tow company? So I hit the deer two Saturdays ago
now from day of recording for, I don't know why this would matter,
but I guess it's more for you.
Sure. I hit it just over a week ago, but it was two Saturdays ago.
(06:57):
I called them Monday morning.
Was it Monday morning? Monday, like midday. Cause I had to work that day and
they were closed over the weekend.
Yep. I go, Hey, I got in an accident on Saturday night.
I know that you have my car. You have my car. and I know that there's a collision
center. The cop gave me the whole information.
(07:18):
I just need to know if my car is totaled or like an estimate on the work that needs to be done.
Let's give the viewers at home a little insight.
You're a man who makes a lot of money, who drives a car that's worth maybe a
day and a half of your salary.
No, it's worth like $4,300.
I looked up the Kelly Blue Book value.
I repeat, your car is worth maybe a day and a half of your salary. Peace.
(07:45):
Yeah, listen here, Mizzy. My car is worth like $6,100.
Thank you very much. I drive the shittiest car at my job. You don't. Yeah, I do.
You drive the nicest car at fucking Hannaford's.
Fucking redneck Hannaford's. You're pulling in with that $4,300.
(08:07):
They're like, damn. No front end Corolla. And they're like, that's a really
nice stock. That's stock.
I call them during my lunch on Monday because I had to work that Monday.
They're closed over the weekend.
Makes sense. Holiday weekend. Sure. I think what I just said,
standard question. Is it totaled or how much work? That's their whole job.
(08:27):
Yeah. They're a collision center. They were like, so the person that I talked
to, I don't know what bitch ass country they're from where they barely understand.
Don't get me wrong. They weren't foreign. They were English and understood English.
Okay and they're like yeah i don't know the
collision center is not open and they're closed most of the week
(08:48):
for fourth of july i was like are they in today they're like
i don't know i was like okay do
i need to call a different number here i was like i i will call back another
time yeah just get if they're in today or tomorrow because those are the only
days that it would make sense i guess yeah get them to do that i need that for
(09:09):
like my insurance because i was is just going to report,
hey, this is how much they think the repairs are going to be, and if it,
outweighs what they value the car at. Hey, listen.
I'll tell you right now. Your car is total.
You think so? I hope so. I want a new car. I want to get a new one.
Brother, let's go back four minutes. Your car is worth $4,100.
(09:30):
Pretty much they have like a, usually their number is like 50%.
Your damages exceed $2,000.
The headlight alone is probably like $2,000. You need a whole new front end.
Your car is totaled Start looking Buster No I already talked to Ryan You remember
Mason's friend Ryan Oh yeah So I talked to him Auto Fair Of course Grappone
Grappone now And Concord yeah Okay,
(09:52):
Oh, he's going to get you that bare minimum sticker price.
He pretty much is like, just look on the website and let me know.
I'll hold it for you because he's a manager there now. So pays to know people.
But fast forward. So that was Monday. Called them Wednesday.
Hey, did you ever get this done? And they were like, no.
(10:14):
And I was like, how the fuck did you not get that done? Yeah.
And I was like, okay, whatever. And I was like, are they in today? and they
go no the collision center is closed through today
tomorrow being the fourth yeah and then the
entire rest of the long weekend i was like great sick okay so it's all well
and good i only had after that like i rode my bike to work whatever i only had
(10:37):
four days of work that i had to actually go to on my motorcycle yep and then
now i'm on vacation just nice yeah hell yeah this
has not been a good day way to start vacation because i called them today at 1 p.m,
so i i should let me let me back up i called when they
open today not even like they walk in phone call it was they open let them get
(11:02):
settled it was a holiday weekend 9 30 other other stuff anyways and then i go
hey same fucking person i've talked to in the past three times has same Same
guy picks up? Woman. Same woman? Okay. Huge bitch.
Picks up. Dan City Towing.
(11:23):
Okay. Hello. Yeah, fuck you, Dan City Towing. You're such a scumbag.
Fuck you, Dan City Towing.
Hey. Your karma has not ended. Your karma is now continuing on through to Dan
City Towing. No, it is ended as of, we'll get there. Okay.
So, this bitch. The story ends with your car is totaled. Yeah, hopefully.
(11:43):
It's me calling about the 2013 Toyota Corolla What happened to it You fucking
towed it It doesn't matter what happened to it It's at your establishment And she's like okay,
What did you need? Are you coming in to like. What did you need? It's crazy.
Like pay the whatever stuff and then have it looked at. I was like,
(12:05):
you still haven't done that?
They're like, no. And I was like, I'm coming down anyways. I'll just sort it out when I get there.
I fucking drive to this place. Yep. I was doing stuff in the morning. Sure. We're in town.
Yeah. I get there at about 1.30. Okay. And I walk in. Guess who I saw there as well?
Adriana. What was her last name? Hung out with Dalvin Cook's sister.
(12:28):
Not dalvin cook dalvin cook sister uh dalvin yeah
i know who you're talking about her she was
like i better i better get a refund and i was
like what the fuck kind of clientele is here yeah that's
i didn't choose for it to go here the bedford police department sentence no
one ever does brother no one ever chooses what piece of shit garbage tow company
(12:49):
takes their car and holds their car hostage i came in and the the lawrence carter
held hostage for like a month you're not I think this is super common.
I don't know how it's just regular. Shout out Moody's. It's in Maine.
I don't know if that's a chain or a single establishment.
You guys fucking rock if this ever gets back to you. I had a great experience
(13:10):
with you, and you also gave me a rental.
Don't understand how that works. Anyways, you guys rock.
Shout out. This piece of shit place. i walked in
that manchester trash was
arguing about getting 500 back for
tires yeah i was like i don't know what the fuck i just walked in and when she
was leaving i think she recognized me because you keep your head down yeah i
(13:33):
just yeah i just yeah kept it straight ahead yeah i walk up hey my name's hunter
i'm sorry i've been bothering you all week no you say fuck you where's my car I was like,
I called you a bunch this past week and I really need to know if my car is totaled
so I can report it to my insurance. Because, you know, you're a collision center.
(13:55):
And she goes, oh, if you need to get anything out of your car,
unless it's medication, glasses or whatever, you have to pay.
What amount do you think it, did I tell you what it was? No.
How much do you think it would cost?
I'm going to go just fucking left field answer.
Sir i'm gonna go five dollars an item i think
(14:16):
they're itemizing it's not per item it's a
lump sum to access your car 82.99
82.99 yeah i'm gonna give you one more shot and tell you it's much higher what
to go get shit from your car because i would have had to pay for the towing
service the and i don't know what the fuck is your car like clean up means your
(14:40):
car in like an off-site location?
No, it was just behind the building. Yeah.
How much do you think? $400. A thousand and seventy-one dollars. To go get something?
Because I would have had to pay for the towing. If it's not meant.
The anti-quote clean up. What do you mean to pay for the towing?
You already paid for the towing.
And then, did you know, apparently, it's common practice, $70 a day storage fee?
(15:03):
Yes, that's why they make it the biggest pain in the ass. They never fucking
called me to even let me know that. I never had to do it. You would think that
they'd be like, hey, we have your car.
That's why they make it a pain in the ass. Yeah. and i think that's
why they weren't fucking working on it correct and then
i was like because they know that for 99 of people
the insurance covers it and then the the one
(15:24):
percent that it doesn't get covered they make a thousand bucks they know they
just won't pay and then they're like yeah that's fine or they do like a rebuild
title and sell that car because they anyways i was like yeah they're all crooks
i i was like everyone in the car industry's In my head,
I was like, I talked to you at fucking 9.30 and told you I just need to know.
(15:45):
This is the fourth time I'm saying, asking, telling that I need to know if my car is fucking totaled.
And they're like, so what do you want if you don't want to go get shit out of your car?
I want to know if my car is totaled. I want you to look at my car.
She walked me a little bit down.
What's to stop anyone from being like, it's glasses and medication.
(16:08):
And then not. Yeah. And they'd be like, put it back. Yeah.
So I walk in one, there's a dude with no shirt on vaping and he had,
it's hot. Come on. Prison tattoos. Of course he did.
A woman who has the biggest tits I've ever seen in my entire life.
(16:29):
And then, uh, uh, just a short fat dude who is, he didn't say a word,
but you could tell he was angry.
Yeah. And then she goes, you know, the car that we got last Saturday,
he was like, yeah, he He's like, I need to know if it's totaled or how much
work needs to be done on it. He's like, I can have that done for you in an hour.
I was like, okay, just call me. I still have shit that I need to do.
(16:51):
I need to go get fitted for a suit for Will's wedding, so I went to the mall after. Still nothing.
I was trying to kill time so I could just go back, get it from the horse's mouth,
because clearly these people cannot be trusted to call.
Remember when i told you that everyone you should try to drive your car to my
house this is why partly yeah i get that yeah i don't think i could have done
(17:16):
like my car's like my car's total.
But i come back or i
don't come back i'm sitting in my car it's been an hour and i call my
mom give her the entire thing i go i'm just
gonna fucking call the insurance because i'm done dealing with yeah you should have
just done that day one they'll take care of everything i learned that
this is the first time i've gone through this you can just be like hey you're fucking
(17:39):
dealing with this now and then i called them and then shit immediately usually
works immediately yeah this i called them back i went hey i got tired of like
waiting for you guys to do anything so i'm just gonna come and sign a release
form and i have my my whatever
number yep and the woman immediately starts being a bitch to me yeah they do
(18:05):
more than she already that's what they do and i was like bubba do you want to have any input on this,
As a survivor of a tow truck fraud, collision center fraud.
How? Oh.
Well, it's in her stomach. Nothing. Anyways, to put a nice bow on this. Yeah.
(18:27):
I got that, and then I'm just putting it all behind me. I have my parents' car.
Where's your car right now?
Still there, but I don't have to deal with it, because Geico is like,
Like, yeah, Doug, you just go sign that form. We'll keep you updated.
I can't wait for them to not let the insurance company do anything with the car.
They'll be like, no, the owner needs to sign the release form.
(18:50):
They'll be like, he did. They'll be like, no, we don't have it.
If they do, I'll actually call civil services or better. They will.
They will. If they do that, I looked them up on Yelp.
How many stars do you think they had out of five? Those are hard to look at
because I tried to justify Lauren's before her absolute hell experience.
(19:10):
The only people they deal with are people only down on their luck and having a bad time.
I'll get 1.8. 1.5. Yeah. Okay.
It doesn't go to AIDS. The amount of people who are like, I just live in this
apartment building and they stole my car.
Yeah. Was crazy.
(19:31):
Yeah. That's insane. saying and the owner is like
yeah we did we tried to know like he's responding in
the comments being like yeah we did that shit we wanted
to report ours to the better business bureau they're not on it they're
not credited anymore it's crazy yeah yeah it's really you see sketches gay as
hell oh is he gay gay like real gay he was what do you mean a bunch of stuff
(19:54):
got leaked two years ago he was like a gay only fans model that's nice he was
doing like james charles shit getting pounded up
the butt for only fans for real for real yeah and he was like listen i knew this was out there.
Someday someone was gonna leak it it is
what it is he's like just keeping it moving i think he was gonna quit and then
i think the most of his like internet friends are like bro who cares who gives
(20:18):
a fuck so now i think he's keeping it moving but yeah that's what's up you just
gotta keep it busting yeah because he was like listen i knew this day would
come figured I would just quit whenever the fucking bubble popped,
I had some demons listen what a relief it is that all my super gay porn is now out there.
I have a question is it gay that I want to watch it out of morbid curiosity,
(20:44):
he just keeps on a stream going stay off of twitter.
So that being said I'm going to go to twitter I'll try to find you some gay
sketch No I just want to see him saying Stay off of Twitter Stay off of Twitter,
Yeah he's doing James Charles,
(21:05):
that's funny he's dressing up is he sucking dong
what like real
or just i don't know no idea i think
it's yeah i don't know i think it's him
honestly sucking t-ness good good on
him for just being like yeah you found me out
you got me you fucking got me i
(21:27):
did some gay shit happens happens the best
well the last day was spent with people being like it is it sketch and like
you know being fucking like circling fucking freckles and shit be like that's
the same freckle it's so he's such a distinct looking person it's obviously
he came out he started screaming he's like it's me it's me brother.
(21:51):
I was gay as hell brother he hit him with the george bush you got him yeah it's me it's me
you got me you hey you forensics and
analysts out there just look at my face it's me
it's the same pair of glasses looking brother
man it's me what i took it up the ass brother what a surprise that was to like
(22:18):
get home from work go i tell you didn't i don't use twitter so i i didn't know
just ever be like yo let's tube his thoughts on this he's gonna get a lot less
NFL celebrations this year now.
What do you mean? I think we're going to have a record-breaking year of touchdown
celebrations in the NFL. Does Tuba do that unironically?
Yeah, Tuba's like an actual fan. Yeah.
(22:41):
Checks out. It makes sense. Definitely tracks, yeah. You know how we keep trying
to send people to Cartersville?
Yeah. To find out about the Jebonator incident? You had a fucking family that could go.
Yeah. Well, I tried to send Big Mike when he was down there last weekend. He didn't go.
We got to send Tuba to Sketch, find out what that cavern's like.
There's some exploration in that hole. Can I say just a quick aside?
(23:03):
Yeah. At your pool party on the 5th, your dad was saying something about not
wanting to go into the deep end. I was like, no, no, no. Come here.
Take my hand. And he goes, I can swim.
I've been thinking about that for like three days now. You offended him. Huh?
You offended him. I know, but it was funny. People over 45 don't fuck with gay
shit. Huh? You can't be doing it. I don't care.
You can't be asking an older man if you want to hold hands. It's different when
(23:26):
I'm basically one of his sons. It's not.
Old men don't fuck with gay shit. If you were like, dad. Wouldn't he want to
do it? I would not. Take my hand. Hey, I'd never even ask that to him.
That was rude as hell. I'd never even ask him. I'd hold hands with my dad.
Your dad's younger. true he's younger he's younger
brother we're both
wearing speaking of our dads we're both wearing our finest we're
(23:49):
both wearing our finest garbage person yeah our
our finest garbage person gifted from
a father going i bet he'd like that you know can i tell you do you want to do
you want to display yours first yours is older you can go first all right for
beauty uh you want to know who picked mine actually yeah it wasn't my dad this
is your mom it was my mom nice mine is From Dirty Dick's Crab House In Panama City Beach, Florida,
(24:15):
And on the back It said Turn around, turn around Okay, yeah Dude,
I'm sitting Indian style Here, read it Read it for him, Hunt.
Oh, you can't read. I can read. Yeah.
It says, I got my crabs from Dirty Dick's Crab House. That's right.
That's good. I don't even know. I couldn't tell you what this place is.
(24:37):
You're going to have to read it for me. Yours is the Bonefish Bar and Grill,
Royal Naval Dockyard, Bermuda.
Okay. Yeah. And I also don't know what it says.
Yours says, I had a Big Boner, which is the drink, the Big Boner.
It says the big boner twice on it in like feet it says i had a big boner at bonefish bar and grill,
(25:01):
so yeah we're wearing our standard white trash cruise gift t-shirts to be fair
to be far to be fair i'm pretty white trash yeah it's sick as hell i love it
yeah i think we've ascended to,
beige trash yeah do you always get you know we're white we always used to get
i didn't want like real gifts when my parents went on vacation i wanted a shirt that was like my parent.
(25:27):
I've been to san marco beach
you just wanted normal shirt i just wanted normal shirts and i would just get
i got my crabs at dirty dicks that's nice as hell i also i did get a pink like
a pastel pink hoodie that's nice that checks out it's that suits you well it does,
(25:49):
I feel like I wear very bright colors nowadays. I'm the opposite.
What, you only wear black? I'm a pretty monotone. I wear about four colors.
All my... No, I think... And they're all the same hue. Whatever color it is, it's the dark hue of it.
Yeah, I wear... Not all my... I did wear a white polo today to really show off my nice brown tan skin.
(26:12):
Damn, brother. Yes, so that was nice.
Am I getting tan? Am I still pretty white? You're getting a little tan.
My arms are pretty tan. Yeah. That's something.
The black doesn't complement it. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah.
I had a rough day on Saturday. Dude, I had a rough day on Sunday.
(26:33):
Well, we'll start with you. We'll work our way through the weekend. Yeah.
Friday? No, Thursday, 4th of July. Very fun. We hit the lock.
I got a really funny text, but I can't say it out loud. Can I see it? Yeah.
We hit the lake. Very fun time. Good catch.
(26:54):
Jesus. Is that this weekend? Yeah. No, I see it.
Isn't it gonna be shitty this weekend i don't know it we
had like a 12 day stretch of just 90 degrees and
like mostly sunny starting like today right starting like eight days ago oh
i don't fucking know i don't know i'm gonna be swimming we go i will probably
be here friday night so the big the good news last week i emptied my pool halfway
(27:19):
i remember because i got my light replaced I wanted to finally fix my spotlight. I did.
Shout out, Kyle. Shout out, Kyle G. Shout out, me.
Yeah, shout out, Hunter, for paying for some of it. No, I was going to say you
couldn't have it replaced if I didn't break it. Couldn't have it replaced if
you didn't break it. That's right.
You replaced my spotlight. Had to lower the pool, though.
Now, this was a dangerous quest
(27:41):
to do mere days before the 4th of July weekend. That was ballsy. Yeah.
So I figured Thursday, Friday was just going to be a lake day because the pool
is going to be unswimmably hot.
Hot or cold? Cold. Sorry.
So I fix the spotlight, fill that boy up with a hose. All day Wednesday is the hose day. Mm-hmm.
(28:05):
Thursday comes around. Wednesday comes around. What a delight,
temperature-wise. Is that your Wednesday?
I don't know. You doing yoga over there?
Do you think she's been like half of it? What are you looking for?
Yeah, so Thursday we went to the lake. A delightful day. Yeah.
(28:25):
I showed off how buoyant I was. You were very buoyant. That's pretty impressive,
right? Yeah. You're pretty impressively buoyant.
I climbed a rock with you did climb a rock we were
anchored and you're like you think i can swim to that rock and i was like no
no i said i want to swim to that rock and logan goes you want to swim to the
rock i go yeah do you want to come with me it was like two 11 year olds becoming
(28:47):
it was and then our anchor started like failing us and you guys were just on
is that why you were calling us yes so frantically yes i was like get the fuck back on the boat we need
to move and you were like i'm sitting on a rock and i was like get on the fucking boat,
and then you did gotta be honest i didn't know that's why you were calling yeah
i figured because you guys i was hyped that i was on a fucking rock dude yeah
(29:11):
the rock you look good on the rock,
in one picture there's one photo that you
look cool on there you look infinitely better than logan on the
rock yeah because i'm on the no he looks you
can see every muscle he's just that's because he's just strong i
did look good in that first photo yeah the other one shows
up my skinny legs and fat body it's like a marshmallow on a toothpick so yeah
(29:36):
i got hammered we brought out the boat came back in floated in the haba not
to knock on you it was not the smoothest approach,
on the listen don't care i say when i have two helpers i don't give a fuck i'm
not going back and trying again, we're going into the doc. You'll figure it
out. I mean, we bumped, but...
(29:59):
Immediately after, we righted it, but I was like... Listen, I have two helpers. I'm just going in.
That's all it is. You had 1.3, yeah.
But yeah, that's fine. Accidentally got hammered, so then we couldn't take the
boat back out. It was fine.
Happens. Yeah, it happens. Honestly, I think I had a little more fun floating
in the lagoon because we were just singing.
(30:21):
Yeah, we didn't even have music. We were the music. My uncle tried to say we were bad at singing.
And i said he didn't hear
us sing he did charlie daniels band that went down to
georgia he was looking for a fucking soul to steal
he was way behind he was in a bind he was willing to
make a deal we're not doing it again no we're not friday pool
(30:42):
party what is it also got really fucking
drunk shout out the sun cruisers those are
joe's lemon those were un i haven't had
a drink in a few years where i've been like yo this is
dangerous i kind of felt that way about the the high
noon iced teas i don't like noons you're a
big noon guy i'm not a big noon guy love no it's not no i am big noon you're
(31:06):
a big guy i'm listen i'm a i'm a i'll take a truly or a white claw they're so
much cheaper i don't like i think they taste or water all the noon is seltzer
water no but it tastes different it doesn't taste like static yeah it does no
it doesn't yeah it does I disagree.
Do you have the cilantro gene? Does it taste like soap for you? No.
(31:27):
Maybe that's the difference. Are you a soap lontro guy? I am. Oh, interesting.
It sucks. I've heard that cilantro is delicious. I don't like cilantro.
Every time I- I don't think it tastes like soap. I just don't think it tastes very good.
I do eat it every time to make sure- You just have to give it a little sample run?
No, I eat the whole thing just to see if it's still- I don't think you're supposed
(31:47):
to if we're being so for real right now. Is it poisonous?
It's meant as a garnish, brother. Yeah, but you can eat it. You can eat mint.
You know, like it's true. It doesn't mean you're supposed to,
but I do. I think I've made a hat.
I'd started doing it when I was younger, but I made a habit. Where are you?
(32:09):
Where are you getting bunches of cilantro? I don't really, you don't readily have anymore.
I will say, I don't even remember what it used to come on when I would do this.
It was a restaurant that I don't think is around or that we just don't go to anymore.
Your parents heading out the Outback Steakhouse made me laugh.
That's what it was. That's exactly what it was.
(32:29):
Served with the chicken tendies. Yeah.
Because it was like the little leaves that they put them on to make it look
fancy. And I would chomp on them after I go, yuck.
And then I made a habit out of it. Yeah. And now every time I see cilantro,
I go, I can't possibly still taste soap. Dislike it, right? Still soap.
(32:50):
I don't even dislike it. I kind of like how, it's not gross.
You like the soap? Soap is clean.
It tastes clean. Yeah. That's true.
Where did we get? How did we get here? Yeah.
Sketch? I don't know. Pool party. I'm gay, brother. I'm gay, brother.
Friday, I did have to beat the rain home. I did drive in the rain for a little
(33:12):
bit. That was a little spooky. Not in a car, obviously. Yeah, on my bike. Yeah.
Sunday, I watched six Godzilla movies and contemplated my life's decisions.
There's something that happened to me in between Saturday and Sunday.
Okay. Saturday at work my dad called me Or did he call me No I called him because
(33:33):
I was like hey I usually will text him or call him before I leave If you need
anything from the store I'm already here I can just get it My dad goes Can you
get me a bottle of wine A bottle of wine,
And I was like Yeah I'll No no no He wanted a bottle of Sauvignon,
(33:56):
Cabaret Which is a red See
I did so I
was like you know I'll get a big bottle I'll play some pool The 1.5 Yeah the
big boy The big boy I accidentally used to drink those in college thinking they
were the regular boys And then I would wonder why I'm so fucked up Dude We sat
(34:19):
down I would go make bad decisions off a 1.5 Ha ha ha,
That might have to be the title of the episode. Bad Decisions Off 1.5. Dibs for the Teen Names.
Some of my worst decisions were after a fucking 1.5 of some fucking Moscato.
(34:40):
Dude, I haven't had Moscato. Pink Scott, dude. I haven't, yeah.
Pink Scott tastes like apple juice. That's nice. You drink a 1.5,
you're going to make some bad decisions.
So I get home. I work till 6. i brought
the wine to my dad and then i had you've never
drank wine really i've never drank wine but i
also didn't go down immediately my dad was doing stuff and
(35:02):
he goes come down at like quarter of
eight you being groomed huh no thank
you he goes sorry he goes come
down at like quarter of eight i should be done i think he was
working out cooking dinner doing some yard work because
it was their weekend and i come down
and i go hey you want to play cribbage oh yeah because
(35:24):
they had just gotten back they just got back from their cruise so he
was like they just got back from drinking a bone
a week a night the boner
the big boner the big boner yeah they're sipping big boners and
my dad goes so he
also at this point he hadn't seen it salvin y'all's he
goes that's my boy you got
(35:45):
the big bottle because my dad loves drinking
he likes getting he like he gets after it he too likes a 1.5 so i go yeah i
got a big bottle because i figured i would have a few glasses of wine hang out
down here that's right and me and him play also over the course of two and a half
(36:08):
hours how many games of cribbage do you think we played carry the two uh seven one and a half.
Because we were like we're talking too but incredible okay just we just crushed
it yeah i'm like crush it but not that much where's your mom she's just on the
(36:29):
couch reading okay you might you know that little table in my kitchen yep we're
playing there you've seen the cribbage board yeah Yeah. Yep. We're sitting there.
And then. Slamming one. We had the bottle like near us.
Yeah. My dad kept getting up back and forth because if we slammed a glass,
he'd fill it up, go put it back in the fridge to chill it a little bit. And then. Chill Josh.
(36:50):
At 1030, I checked my phone. I'm like, oh, it's starting to get late. I need to go to bed.
Okay. I need to use my brain at work. Okay.
But I stand up And I was like Uh oh Cause I drank not exactly half Cause my
(37:10):
dad slams wine But if he drank more It was negligible.
Maybe half a glass. You must have been hurting, dude.
On Sunday, that wine hangover is unlike any other.
Have you, you've seen me at my most hungover. Yeah. You know how my,
I don't know if you. You turn into a Victorian era baby.
(37:34):
My eyes were so fucking bloodshot. Yeah. My head hurt so bad.
Yeah. And I legitimately felt like I was breathing out fire.
Yeah. head swimming uh-huh and yeah
that wine hangover fucks one of my technicians walked
in and usually it's good morning i'm gonna
(37:55):
go get the tills i walked over to her and she
just goes what the fuck happened to you
and i was like i am
unwell yeah please go get
the tills i need to go sit down in the back and it's
a sunday so it's slow i i got
there early to collect myself i do it every every time
(38:17):
i work yep so everything's already dumped into they
have to count it and then i do the final check and that's all that's
left yep i think i sat in the back for
like 45 minutes just glasses off
yeah sitting down hand in hand yeah head
and hands just and anytime my tech needed anything she'd come
back and get me and at like yeah that wine
(38:39):
hangover it does not fuck around at nine
she was like hey yeah ma'am am okay so
it's like an hour into work at like nine she comes and she goes are you
like sick i was like i am so unbelievably hung over right now and she goes i'm
gonna go get you some food can you hold it together for like 10 minutes yeah
(39:00):
and i was like yeah yeah she got me food and that's like i feel a little bit better but
dude, I was hurt until 11 a.m. Yeah, that'll happen.
And then I kind of, I went and got some chicken nuggets. Yep.
And then I was like. I'm good now. I'm good, I'm good.
Yeah, it doesn't, it fucks you up. Hold on, I get a, what did I text my,
(39:21):
I also texted Sam thinking that it was you. Yeah.
Because you, I said something about being wine drunk and then I went to text
Sam and then I saw you, I think what happened is.
Click it. You responded. Oh yeah. And then the banner came down and I was like,
Like, I'm already in the text.
And I said, I am Essamon Dunk. Yeah. Dunk.
(39:46):
Shut up. Yeah. Yeah, you did. And then I looked at it. I was like,
that's not Riley. I was like, that was meant for Riley.
Broken English. Yeah. And then. He reads it. It's fine. I don't think I ever texted you.
Speaking of missed accidental sending stuff.
Yeah. My dad just laughed at me. I said, I am hungover at work.
(40:08):
I didn't think I was going to get that drunk last night.
New season of House of the Dragon. Don't spoil. I'm actually going to catch up tomorrow.
Sure. I'm not saying anything spoily. If you watch the show,
you know that Damon and Amon are parallels on opposite sides of each other.
(40:29):
So I'm talking to Nick. Nick is a House of the Dragon guy. We have a House of the Dragon group chat.
I also work with Nick, and I knew he had already watched.
Usually it takes until Monday night until everyone has watched,
so we don't do any spoilers until we know everyone's in the clear.
I knew Nick had watched. I was eyeing him at work. We were talking about the show.
Thinking I was messaging Nick in talking about Eamon Targaryen and Daemon Targaryen,
(40:56):
I said, Daddy Daemon needs to teach that boy a lesson.
I did not send it to Nick.
I sent it No you cannot I sent it to an old woman on my program Did she say anything?
I was fucking horrified I said Daddy Damon needs to teach That boy a lesson
(41:19):
Is she north or south of 51?
North Maybe around That's crazy She just goes I don't think this was meant for
me And I just went yeah sorry talking thrones.
That's fucking criminal yeah I've been thinking about that all day that happened today,
(41:43):
oh today's Monday I've reverted back it's been a short enough time that I'm
back to just sinking into my best impression of being unemployed yeah you are
we have a Godzilla episode coming at some point we also have back on the Patreon coming soon Dune.
Plungeons and Dragons. Are we doing Patreon? Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
(42:05):
There's just five of us, so. You should know this, too. You should know this,
too. Plungeons and Dragons, DM'd by me.
Will's going to be a druid named Bird. Should we do it? Do me and Dwight.
Gimpy and the Stumpersmiths? The Gimpy Stumpersmith and Stumpy Gimpersmith? Yeah.
Yeah. Leave it at that. Yeah. It's going to be a fun time. Yeah,
we have a Godzilla episode coming soon.
(42:27):
Do you have punch picks? I watched like 18 Godzilla movies in a week.
That's crazy stop saying for me
you always say it's for me i don't give a fuck if you do it or not it's your
prerogative you did give me an out i finished the toho region i begged you no
you i did i beg you said may i please not do this and i said granted yeah i
(42:49):
think it was one word granted because yeah you texted me when i was hung over
at work and i was like brother,
so we learned after we got off the air last week that the godzilla spin are
nondescript Godzilla parentheses old encapsulated.
I think it's 37 movies.
I thought you said it was 30. I think it's 33, 33, 34, 34, somewhere in there.
(43:11):
It depends what you consider a Godzilla movie. It's between 33 and 37.
That's, yeah, I do know it was north of 30.
Yeah, so what I did is I watched the Toho region, which is all the movies up
until like 1977, which includes all the originals.
Is that the Toho region? It's the Toho era. They're the production company from that era. Yeah.
(43:36):
I finished it. I did a lot. We'll have a whole episode on that.
We're going to have a tier list. Probably record it tomorrow but release it. Yeah, who knows.
Eventually. Yeah, then P&D, but because of that you've allowed me,
I am getting a new spin. Yes. Let's see it. We'll get out of here. We're going to go swim.
You want to do plunge picks or no? Do you have one? No, do you?
Bubba, you got a plunge picks?
(43:57):
Okay A sharp piece of plastic? How do you know?
She was crunching and I But it either fell out and I'm not finding it or Okay You got the wheel?
No, it signed me out I'll get the wheel Spin me this wheel, Hunt Is it one of the bulbs?
Oh, it did sign me out too What the heck? What the fuck?
(44:21):
This is fucked Hold on Winnie girl You back in?
Almost okay Winnie girl Winnie baby is that right yeah for email I think so yeah I'm in okay,
it didn't ask me for any of the oh I'm gonna hit with a car max at Winnie,
(44:42):
all right I'm gonna get the dog you just do the spin all right oh that's a good
one lethal weapon all right I will take it I'm gonna accept lethal weapon and
And we'll see you guys next week.
Yeah, here's some dog. Show them dog.
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