August 21, 2024 • 55 mins
Hey there, friends! Welcome back to another episode of The Plunge. This week was a rollercoaster of hilarious moments, unexpected vacations, and some much-needed relaxation.
First off, let me tell you about the funniest thing I've heard all week. So, there's this Jewish camp in Northwood that happens every year, and on Monday, our computers were down. I called the camp to check on the usual prescription orders, and one of my colleagues informed me that the camp had wrapped up for the summer. When I asked how he knew, he said he saw all the kids leaving on a bus and threw up a "Shabbat Shalom" like a West Side gang sign. I swear, it was the funniest thing ever.
Now, let's talk about the plunge—both metaphorically and literally. I finally took a mini-vacation and had the time of my life. We got a new couch, a new camera angle, and we're back in the studio after a month. Oh, and it's football season, which means it's the best time of the year. Draft weekend is coming up, and we couldn't be more excited.
Riley and I have been dealing with our own stuff. I went on a vacation while Riley had one of the worst weeks of work ever. But hey, we both needed a break. The studio is back in action, and we're ready to roll. Speaking of rolling, Riley has been trying to train his dog, who is simultaneously athletic and unathletic. It's been quite the journey, and he's even tried some unconventional methods like putting a big fat dump in the dog's hole to stop her from digging. Yeah, it's as hilarious as it sounds.
We also talked about the latest trends and lingo that are taking over the internet. From "Skibbity Toilets" to "What the Sigma," we tried to get to the bottom of these new-age terms. We even called up some friends with kids to get their insights, but it seems like the mystery remains.
And oh, the cruise! Riley just got back from a Bermuda cruise and had the most amazing time. From beautiful pink sand beaches to mini-golfing on stunning courses, it was a vacation to remember. He's already planning a return trip next year with a big group, and it's going to be epic. We even talked about conquering the "Big Boner" at the Bonefish Grill in Bermuda. Trust me, you don't want to miss out on this adventure.
So, whether you're here for the laughs, the stories, or just to hang out, we're glad to have you with us. Thanks for tuning in to The Plunge, and we'll catch you next time!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
So on like monday or tuesday this week one there's a jewish camp in northwood that happens every year,
and i we didn't have our computers were down on monday morning so i called the
jewish camp that like canonically calls in a shit ton of prescriptions every
day and i when one of my texts came in they go oh the jewish camp is actually
(00:25):
done for the summer and i was like oh oh, how do you know that?
And he goes, I was driving behind him and I saw all the kids leaving on a bus,
so I hit him with, and he threw up like the West Side gang sign,
but instead of saying the West Side, he goes, I hit him with the Shabbat Shalom.
I was like, that's the funniest fucking thing I've ever heard.
I took the plunge and had the time of my life.
(00:48):
I finally took the plunge. And you know what? Let's break.
Music.
D-10. That's what we're doing. We're singing.
Y'all know nothing about this. Watch me. Watch me. Come on, man. Come on.
Dig it up, up, up. Dig it. Dig it up, up, up.
(01:09):
Dig it up, up, up. Dig it. Dig it up, up, up.
What's up, guys? Welcome to The Plunge. Today's the day. Joining me,
as always, my lovely husband, Riley T. Say what's up, dude.
Max comfort achieved. We got the whole couch tour. We do have the- That was tonight, brother.
There. We also got a new camera angle New camera angle A little bit further
back New couch I'm staring into the souls of our sweet sweet audience Welcome
(01:33):
back Sweet baby angels Episode 314,
Season 7 We took like a mini vacation for ourselves I went on actual vacation
I did not I had like maybe one of the worst weeks of work in my life You worked Yeah,
I can't, that's a, that's a, we're going to figure out the dogs are,
I might have to hide the dogs.
(01:55):
No free toes. No free toes on this. You really fumbled the bag colossally on that. Yeah. All right.
What up? What's up dude? Went on vacation, been dealing with some stuff.
The studio has been, let's call it rented for about a month.
(02:17):
So the studio is back and operational.
The Hess truck's back and it's better than ever. Hey now, hey now. The Hess truck's here.
And it's football season, which is the greatest time of the year almost.
It's true. Draft weekend next weekend. We got our draft. Yeah, it's been busy.
(02:37):
I've been like. I had my first weekend off this weekend. Did nothing. Was great.
Sounds incredible. yeah but like we had will's bachelor party then i went away
for a week i was also out of the state,
i'm either like working not in new
hampshire or you're working i
(02:58):
can't figure out what to do with the toes here i don't know what to do with
my feet i don't know yeah i don't know what to get do with dude just let the
claws out just leave the grippers i think i think i gotta cover the claws to
cover the claws i think i gotta cover the claws why are you insecure about your
feet There we go. Dude, I got nasty dogs.
Well, no one's looking at your dogs. The people might be looking at my dogs,
(03:19):
brother. I got to be aware of dog camp.
The dog. My dog.
I've read no books in training my dog i've
never had a dog like of my own
especially one that i've like trained from a puppy up so i've been she's very
smart when he's very smart almost to your detriment very much not almost to
(03:44):
my detriment um but can we talk about before how smart she is is
how both simultaneously athletic and unathletic.
Yeah, she runs like Isaiah Pacheco. She's angry at the ground.
Riley sent a video to our Snap group, and she's clearly running quickly.
(04:04):
She's agile as hell. You seen it. I seen it. You seen it.
Like just now, we were trying to steal a zip tie from her mouth.
It took four people. It took four people to corner her.
And she still almost got away. She did.
But you sent a video. She was just running back and forth between digging a
hole that she wasn't supposed to.
Correct. I put a big fat dump. And attacking the ground. Do you know how to counter hole diggers?
(04:26):
How? You put a big fat dump in their hole. Wait, really? Yeah.
That's sick as fuck. Immediately following that video, I put the fattest shit
in the yard right in her hole.
What you're not telling the audience is it was yours. It was my shit, yeah.
No, I put the biggest dump in the yard right in the hole. Hasn't touched the
hole since. Fill it up with hot Riley soup.
We want people to keep listening. But yeah, I put a big fat dump in the hole. She hasn't dug in it yet.
(04:50):
Why do you say we want people to keep listening to you go? We put the fat shit
in there. Big fat shit in the hole is different than a Riley soup.
No. What was I saying?
Oh, she's too smart. I've been training her, though. Don't know how to train
dogs. It's been going well.
Yeah, see, Allison immediately regrets clicking this. That's okay.
(05:11):
I actually watched a movie just before this with a character named Rat Boy, so shout out, Poitie.
Hey, yo, is that the PBF? Yeah, it was in the Peanut Butter Falcon. Yeah.
So I've just been training her. She's sitting now, laying down,
rolling over. Not so much rolling over. She rolls over. She just had a bad night.
She had an off night. she's pawing jumping dancing rolling
(05:33):
over like i said giving hugs working on
speak i don't know how to teach her speak she also doesn't bark she barks does
she yeah she barks and cries she finally found her voice she's found her voice
very much so so the other day i spent like an hour with just a treat in her
face just going speak Speak. Ruh.
(05:56):
Speak. Ruh, ruh, ruh. What would you do if it gets to a point where she just goes, Ruh, ruh, raggy.
And I thought I was home alone. I wasn't. Who else was home? Jackie was home.
She walks up and she's like, what the fuck are you doing? I was like,
try and teach her how to speak on command. I got this treat here.
(06:19):
Speak. Ruh, ruh, ruh. Bark, bark. is
she barked the same way that lauren used to or still
does i guess kind of yeah but yeah it
didn't work she never got it at no and honestly i
was at the point where i was then just holding the treat in front of her trying to
piss her off so she would then bark at me she doesn't
really bark at me she really only barks at
(06:39):
like other things doesn't bark to let him know yeah it doesn't bark at me so
she was never barking at me so because i was just gonna enforce her bad behavior
barking at me to be like yes exactly speak dude i hear your dog getting 2.9
yards per carry upstairs,
They're like a Derrick Henry 2.9. Yeah. They're having trouble bringing her down. Yeah.
(07:05):
She's tiring out the defense, brother.
But yeah, I spent like an hour just sitting in my living room, Indian style.
I feel like an idiot. Hey, crisscross applesauce style. I feel like an indigenous style.
I felt like an idiot. I was just sitting there going, Dog, I do that at home,
and I don't have an animal.
(07:27):
But yeah. We've been living Bermuda, getting destroyed by a hurricane right now.
Fuck, I forgot to bring your Crank it Dat Hog shirt again. That's okay.
But you know what other shirt you do have? I did get a shirt while I was in
Bermuda, the Big Mute, as they call it.
Yeah, colloquially known as Big Mute.
(07:49):
You had a shirt when I showed up with Big Mike's Dirty Dicks.
I got my crabs from Dirty Dicks Crab Shack. You
showed up with the Bonefish Grill I got
the big boner shirt In Bermuda I found
the Bonefish Grill It's hard to miss It's the
first building off the dock That's sick as hell When you
(08:13):
take a cruise I see my dad did not waste any time Finding
somewhere to drink Brother it's the first establishment Like when you walk down
into the area Like the shopping area That's sick as hell dude The first building
And I ordered my big boner So I can say I actually earned my big boner Now the
saving grace for you Hunt.
(08:35):
Is next year we're returning to bermuda
squat by my own yeah i have to have two
big boner shirts no i think you can just
i think the meaning of your big boner shirt just changes once
you've it's a foreshadowing of my life do you know what the big boner is so
on the back of the shirts like i defeated the big bone it's 50 ounces it's a
(08:57):
50 ounce beer that's ridiculous And I drank it after a day of pretty much me
and Lauren spent our final day in Bermuda.
We had like gone to the beaches the prior two days and like kind of explored.
So we spent the third day just doing like random tourist shit in the main shopping
center and going to every restaurant and getting whatever their novelty drink was.
(09:19):
And with that, we would just get like an appetizer. So we went to like three
restaurants to just get an appetizer or whatever silly drink they had that they're
known for. What was the Rizzler thing you got?
Are you getting there? Oh, brother, you're talking about Rum Swizzles.
Yeah, Rum Swizzles. No, we went to the Swizzle Inn, known for their pitchers of Rum Swizzles.
We'll be returning there. Word, word. That is on St.
(09:40):
George, which you have to take a ferry to on the other side of Bermuda. Okay.
We're going to take that. Next door to it is the Blue Hole, okay?
Yo, I got a Blue Hole. It's a cliff-jumping swimming hole in the most beautiful spot ever.
So we're going to go decimate- I have the Blue Hole. brother
we're gonna go decimate rum swizzles whole squad and
(10:01):
then we're gonna go jump in the blue hole that's sick that's the big plan we
me and lauren we took the bullet for everyone we solo you took the bullet just
had a sick we just had a great time we went in with no agenda we didn't look
into that much we knew like what the nice beaches were and stuff.
And now we're going back next year with everyone. Hell yeah.
(10:24):
So we went solo this time. We had no itinerary. We had no excursions booked.
We just got off the boat and we were like, let's see where the day takes us.
What did we do day one? Day one, we went to Horseshoe Bay Beach,
which is the pink sand beach. Yep. Looked straight out of a postcard. It was beautiful.
(10:45):
Does it taste pink? It tastes salty. salty
okay the saltiest
water i've ever experienced i know
probably all salt water is the same it seemed extra true
that's true the dead sea of higher salination concentrations which make you
float better it was one of those where i like gent my eyes hurt yeah because
(11:06):
you open your eyes i don't i didn't there because we were mostly just let's
just sitting in the you're like i don't want I don't want an eye disease from Bermuda. It hurt, yeah.
And then all the sweat made the salt water go into my eye and the sweat. It was painful.
But probably the most beautiful beach I've been to.
A mistake I didn't make, I did wear a bathing suit. That's nice.
(11:28):
So we were able to hang out and swim.
Didn't do that. I don't know where. Grand Cayman, we were in February.
I didn't bring my bathing suit to our beach day.
Why? Well, so I don't think I packed one because I didn't have any.
I would just wear a bathing suit all week.
Yeah, I pretty much did. That's nice.
But yeah, we went to the Horseshoe Bay Beach, and then we... That was just it.
(11:51):
That was just it. It's so nice. You get off the boat, and they're just like,
hey, seven bucks. We'll take you to any of the nice beaches. We're like, yes.
Yes, please. Yeah. You just get in this bus.
Bermuda, beautifully camped. Camped? Like, unbelievably nice.
Ice a lot of the islands like i've been to on the cruises
they're all very shitty super shitty except
(12:13):
for like the resort areas all of bermuda was
stunningly like upkept highly recommend
day two wait to go next year day two we
took the ferry to saint george that's gonna
be my first vacation next year by the way because i
think i'm just gonna book it and then make it my priority vacation
for next year hell yeah and then number two
(12:36):
go to obrx my parents actually just texted me
about that tonight that's very funny yeah make it
make it your priority vacation and book it with brian yeah no it's it's worth
it for sure hell yeah yeah we took the ferry so norwegian just has a free ferry
that on the second day runs non-stop all day that's sick so we got on like the
(12:56):
second ferry we didn't really know we literally this is just a booze cruise we kind of felt like a No,
the ferry's straight up like a giant tab.
No, it's a giant ship that just takes, it's just for transport to bring you
to the other side of the island. That's sick as fuck.
We had one thing in mind, and that was to go get rum swizzles.
That's it. Which the ferry was like an hour away.
(13:19):
So each way yeah damn so
well we didn't really look into anything else over
there they have like these crystal caves we didn't want to go to and then
that was where the blue hole was but we really didn't want to go swimming in
there lauren was she had a blister on her foot and we didn't have like our bathing
suit stuff so it's like a cross so we started we walked over to it but we didn't
(13:42):
go swimming in it and so next year i think our we have a whole plan around it
where we're We're going to go early.
Okay. Get rum swizzles. Yeah. Go to the Blue Hole.
And then there's a really nice- Did you get fucking swizzled?
We're going to get swizzed the fuck up, brother. Yes.
I had like four-fifths of the pitcher. We got a half pitcher.
Okay. Because they get you fucked.
(14:03):
That's sick. Yeah. They're just juicy concoctions of deliciousness that are super alcoholic.
We had a half pitcher. I did about four-fifths of it. Then I got a frozen swizzle, which was divine.
A frizzle. Yeah, we got apps everywhere we went. We just got apps.
We didn't need a single entree like out on the island.
Just a million apps. So next year, that's the plan. We'll take the ferry.
(14:27):
We'll do a bunch of shopping in that cute little area. Well, we got the plan.
Day three, we went fucking mini golfing on the most beautiful mini golf course.
That's sick as fuck. It was just along the water and the whole plot of the course. Was it just remade?
It was also like a real golf greens. Okay. It wasn't like gimmicky mini golf.
(14:48):
It was like challenging greens.
Dude, the picture you sent of the final score, which I know you'll get there. You can go. Go ahead.
So Riley sent a snap of the final scorecard.
I think it was 67 to 65. I did win.
Riley did win. I did win. However, Lauren got a disheartening nine on hole two.
(15:11):
On hole two. it just apparently crushed it
from thereafter yeah she was on a she's she was
a menace it was it was nice to see uh but
yeah it was and it remade all holes from the nicest courses
in the country and it was like challenging you had to read greens on mini golf
which is crazy and then that was the day we just fucking walked around so what
(15:34):
we learned is we could probably do the walk around shopping center go get food
and novelty drinks the same day we do the beach yep.
Day one, I think we're all going to get a catamaran, go on a catamaran.
What's that, a small boat? Catamaran's a small boat.
That's a booze cruise where they usually have snorkeling with it and stuff. That's sick as fuck.
And you just go on this sweet boat. It has nets in the front.
(15:54):
Oh, I know what that is. Yeah, all right.
That's like a boats and hoes boat. Yeah, it's a boats and hoes boat.
So I think we're going to go on a boats and hoes boat day one and then maybe
shop a little if we have time.
You can usually go on a nighttime catamaran. So the good part about this Bermuda cruise.
Who would not be into a nighttime catamaran? in the best part about the
the bermuda is you're just there for three days it just
turns into your hotel yeah just a floating hotel
(16:17):
yeah because you still sleep in your room room yeah you're i mean
the boat the boat's still the cruise is still cruising yeah but yeah so i think
and then day two we'll do the swizzle and hole word day three i gotta sign up
for that shit immediately yeah talk to brian talk to brian it's gonna be fun
so me and lauren are going you and brian are going. Slurpee B.
(16:40):
My parents, Mikey T. Shout out Failing Hollywood, his family.
You think Corey would go? They're trying to get Corey.
I joked with Lauren. I was like, we're going to be the only fucking people who pay for this cruise.
What do you mean? Well, I think they were like trying to, they're like,
do you think Corey needs help?
And I was like, no, Corey just sold two homes. Corey's perfectly fine.
(17:03):
He can. He just might not want to.
Yeah, so I think that's what it is. Lauren's parents are going.
Lauren's fun aunt and uncle are going. Brother? You're going to like day four
seven. We're trying to get the brother.
The brother might need to bunk with you, though. you want
logan petey's he's the man well you
(17:23):
yeah you'll be boys yeah you will be and brian yeah
we'll see yeah all right yeah
we'll we'll see are you doing me me
and brian might have to have some some bonding time me and him haven't spent
a lot of time together brother you're on a boat you're not gonna be in your
room like nighttime fun stuff when you're delirious and getting back drunk and
(17:44):
fucking with each other ordering room service room watching avengers infinity
war yeah Yeah, it'd be sick.
There was just two movie channels.
Actually, Loki, I feel like bunking with Lauren's brother would be fun because
I'm kind of like your little brother.
Yeah, and so then he would be like- Lauren's little brother.
Well, he is Lauren's little brother, but yeah.
(18:04):
Yeah, but you can be the same thing, but also be like- That's true.
Yeah, that would be fun. That'd be sick as fuck. And then whoever else wants to come. Hell yeah.
It'd be a fun fucking time. So it's going to be fun. I'm excited.
You're going to get the big boner. I am so excited to get Big Mike's Big Boner.
Pause. What was that?
(18:25):
What was what? I think that's dog going potty. I heard a whistle.
Yeah, it's probably dog going potty. You and Big Mike going to split a Big Boner?
Yeah. No. I'm going to try to teach...
No, you're not splitting a big boner, brother. No, I just want to get to what
I'm going to say. No, I will drink my own big boner. Okay.
I'm going to see if I can teach Big Mike how to swim again. How to swim? Yeah.
(18:50):
Do you think Big Mike doesn't know how to swim? No, I know he knows how to swim.
Do you not remember at your party? I was like, come on, I'll show you.
Teach him how to swim? Let me take my hand. No, dude, you're not.
Brother, Miguel Grande knows how to come in. That's saying, I don't know. Nada, nada. Anadar.
What is to know? Is that encantar? Why are you asking me? Migo grande encanta anadar.
(19:16):
Yo tengo un gato en fuego en my pantalones. That's nice.
What does that mean? What's his name? You have a cat on fire in your pants, brother.
That's the only thing I can say in Spanish. I don't have a 650 day.
Donde esta la biblioteca?
You could actually put that one to use if you just learn a couple more location type words.
(19:40):
What is that? Where is the? It's where is the, yes. You said library,
which. Donde esta el baño?
Good. Yeah, you're cooking. Is that bathroom? That's bathroom.
Donde esta the gymnasium? El gymnasio. So pretty close.
You're all right. I'm basically fluent in Spanish. What do you think?
(20:01):
What do you think the supermarket is?
El Marketo. You're not supermarket.
It's just supermarket. It's supermercado. I'm going to go donde esta Walmart.
That would play. That would play. Yep, that plays. Donde esta...
What's another place?
(20:24):
Give me, I'm blanking. There's a lot of places. La Pesquina.
Are you studying for Bermuda? Yes. They speak English.
No, but like if I want to talk to locals.
They speak English. Are you sure? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Have you been? I have. Okay.
You could say La Playa. That's the beach.
(20:45):
Vamos a La Playa. That's good. What is that? Let's go to the beach?
That's, yeah. what is run correr dude
you've taken a thousand duolingo lessons
and I'm already fluent in Spanish you are that's true zero Kaz
is punching the air screaming crying shit
(21:05):
and fart and puking punching the air stomping his feet eating
shrimp ceviche brother I
so the other side of this vacation
donde esta el kitchen la cochina
la cochina yeah sorry i
didn't other side of the cruise i got back from the cruise and
(21:25):
tried to do any amount of physical physical activity it's like i got hit by
a fucking bus dude you're tan as fuck though i was thank you for picking me
up hey hey hey i appreciate i tell you that was so not even like in my head
that i don't even remember doing it i i will apologize i got
us lost in Boston for a minute? I did too.
(21:47):
Actually, no, you did get it. We would have been on the bridge if I just kept-
To be fair, you turned your GPS off far before you should have.
That was on accident? Yeah, I did.
I'll take a lot of the blame because I went, no, I think it's this way.
It wasn't. You should have turned the GPS off.
(22:07):
Yeah. Was Lauren stressed? Because I felt bad. Because it happens.
I think she was just ready to get home to the dog, but I don't think she...
When I told her it was only like a couple extra minutes, I think she was fine.
Yeah, and then that weird fucked up turnaround turn. That turn sucks.
Yeah. I've taken that wrong turn like three times. Not three times. Once. The sharper turn.
(22:28):
Well, then you get back onto Storo Drive and you have to do the whole loop again. Yeah.
That wasn't too bad, though. No. I like driving.
Have you cruised the hunt no i've never been on i haven't
been on a vacation in like nine years oh i'm
excited then that's what i'm saying can i
tell you why i said maybe i also
(22:49):
kind of want my own room that's fair
i think the one thing for that we're
not there's going to be very little in room time because you
get this so the good this boat it's super
loungy it's not one of these like new mega boats
where they're like trying to fit like amusement parks yeah it's like super loungy
(23:10):
and relaxing and there's just places to chill i get that everywhere also just
having like if i need to go back to my room and just be like chill just me time you can do that.
We'll see i think you can do that with brian though i could
say hey brian also me and brian and like have
regularly cuddled so yeah i don't yeah just be like hey brian
(23:33):
can you go fucking listen to live music for
a little bit so i can beat my
shmeet sure hey if you need to no okay i will not i got an interior room again
i've uh cheaper who cares i'm not gonna get one with the a mirror so i can fuck
(23:54):
brian and look at myself bro the mirror the fucking mirror.
What's up adam you want to come to bermuda with us next year book it true brother
we get we'll give you the week we've never had i've never had i don't remember
how much you said that you paid but i'm also curious because you said it wasn't
(24:16):
bad no you don't have to tell me right now i will We'll talk to you later.
I can tell you it's an interior room. It's going to be 3126.
That's it? Yeah. For two people. That's fucking crazy. Yeah.
Dude, we walk into that room.
What up, Ben? What's up, Ben? How you doing? Ben's doing great.
How you living, chicken boy? Chicken boy.
(24:38):
You never heard brother chickens are afraid of ben you think ben's responsible
responsible for about one percent of chicken death,
in the u.s yeah yeah yeah ben made it home shout out ben we love you glad you're
doing better big ups big bevo big ups big lifts we got pompo.
(25:02):
Dude i walk so i've never had an interior room we were just we booked our cruise
last second so So we were like, fuck it. We don't care.
It's our first solo cruise. We just wanted to relax anyway. So we're like,
okay, don't care. Don't need a balcony because we're just chilling.
We walk into that room. The entire length of the bed on the wall behind was
(25:24):
a full length mirror. The entire wall.
That's so fucking sick. As a fat man, it was my worst nightmare.
I know, but you just sometimes. No. I feel like you've lost yourself in the
eye. I'm not a foyer, Hunt, okay?
Am I actually just a deviant?
No, that's definitely made for some people. Some people walk into that room and go, I'm not leaving.
(25:47):
I walk into that room and I'm going to make eye contact with myself and get hard.
That's not that funny. No, it's not.
You're going to look yourself in the eye until your penis gets hard?
Do you think that's not funny?
No dude that's funny as hell um don't ruin
(26:08):
the illusion i gotta make sure i don't find it was a full-length mirror
the entire length of the wall right behind that like it was that there wasn't
a headboard it was the headboard mirror was just mirror and then also you couldn't
even escape because on the other side there's more it's fucked that's sick is there casinos,
(26:29):
Yeah, so they're only operational at sea because of different rules.
Yeah, international laws. Yeah.
Can you still sit in there and get free drinks? No.
It's not running. But also, you can get free drinks everywhere because you're
on a cruise. Yeah. You have a drink package. Yeah. Yeah.
I don't know why I snorted, but that was funny. You're in casino mindset.
(26:52):
You forgot about that the cruise itself is just...
There's a lot of people like, you're paying for it. Big Mike's a big...
Well, you're paying for it. No, I'm not.
It's truly the test of if you're a free couch person or not.
Maybe I... Are you going to convert me? It might be because the second I walk
on there, everything's free and I'm just enjoying it.
(27:14):
True. Yeah. No, I think I'm in on free couch.
The concept of free couch now. Yeah.
Because you pay for the cruise. I'm paying for my cruise now.
And then a year from now, I'm just having a sick-ass free vacation. Yeah, dude.
Okay, I'm in. I'm sold. Yeah.
(27:35):
Dude, that's sick as fuck. But yeah, there's just live music everywhere. I lost Karaoke Idol.
You did, yeah. It was to no fault of my own.
The way to win karaoke idol is to have a crowd reaction, which meant every finalist,
(27:56):
so I was one of the finalists.
Your stadium pulse was so low. My stadium pulse could not have been lower.
I'm up there with one guy who's also there with just a significant other,
and we're up against four children and their extended families,
And then like two old guys everyone hated The crowd goes wild These kids are
(28:17):
like not able to They don't know how to hold a fucking beat And they're getting
advanced to the finals Because they have 47 family members Going apeshit And
then they're like how about Riley This is Lauren Yay.
If it's based on decibels I'm coming back with a vengeance next year I'm going
to train my body to fart at the decibel Volume of a gunshot,
(28:40):
so that not only do i damage people's hearing but you also definitely get the
loudest reaction yeah so i mean i looked at the other guys like this just isn't
fair we're gonna lose to fucking samson the three-year-old who sang imagine
dragons and couldn't hold the fucking lyrics.
This man started saying yellow submarine in the
middle of viva la vita loca
(29:02):
there is this one old guy who just walks around dogs out
on the dance floor this is like they hold the karaoke in
the the club it's like it converts to a club at like
11 okay but they do like karaoke it's
like a nice lounge there's an old dude who just
walked some disabled vet respect the
vets he lives on this i'm telling he probably lives
(29:23):
on this cruise ship and every night you just walk around
fucking big foot in the ground and go
up in isaiah pacheco i tried to sing it
carry i didn't even want to be in karaoke idol can i say
this but i tried i just wanted to do karaoke
i wanted to do karaoke once i went up three
different nights and this guy was just this old dude who couldn't sing would
(29:46):
just go up and sing an elvis song every like four to five songs and hog karaoke
night to himself i couldn't even get into a karaoke night to get a song like
i couldn't get a song in because of.
This fucking guy they're like that's old greg he's
the ugliest he would just go up and go i thank the veterans
i love elvis presley and
(30:09):
then he would sing an elvis presley song that sounds like a guy who should have
been singing toby keith no he's he some guy came he's like did you know he's
a he's an elvis impersonator in atlantic city i ain't nothing about her no he's
fucking not Not a very good one.
I did come back with a new fear of modern day teenagers.
(30:31):
They terrify me. Yeah. They run the hot tubs, brother. There's one thing you need to know.
Going into this cruise the fucking cool
kid teens own the hot tub i do i
don't know i have a doctor level education i think i can trick them brother
me and lauren would just sit in chairs in in our bathing suits near a hot tub
(30:52):
waiting for the opportunity open spots in these and they're just people no they
run in packs dude they don't i'll get in no okay so here's the way to break up
the packs though right if the herd if the
herd gets too thin if you penetrate the
herd they all scatter so if
like like bugs yeah so like if if some of
(31:14):
them too many of them leave to go grab a hot dog real
quick you can sneak in there and then they fucking
all leave like that's what i'm saying if i get in there
they're gone yeah even if there's one spot
and i get in they'll be weirded out and leave yeah brother
i messaged brother's a door dash driver i'm a hungry boy yum yum yum you think
(31:36):
i won't get into a hot tub drunk with other just i say other with teenagers
that i don't know i'll get in there and be like hello fellow kids you think i give a fuck.
I almost spit take that one hello fellow kids you doing the Steve Buscemi yeah
(31:56):
dude I'll wear my shrimps as bugs hat so that they know that I'm cool with the lingo,
yeah the big lingo these days shrimps I hope my bracelet that just says cum
slut they'll be terrified of me they will.
Yeah, it's bad. The teens terrified me. They outfitted me. I was outfitted by the teens.
(32:16):
Yeah, you got mogged. You got fucking skibbity toileted. I did get,
dude, I want to hit them all.
Can you tell me what the- No, I have no idea what a skibbity riz is.
What is the skibbity toilet?
I don't know. You were telling me about that, and I was like- Should we get
Chris Watsky on? He has two skibbity aged kids. He's got two skibbity toilets.
(32:37):
He does have two skibbity.
All right, we're going to get Chris Watsky on. Crits Wucky.
You better answer. What time is it? Is it past his bedtime? No.
Wait, who died? Oh, fuck. I accidentally hit a... John Aprea. I don't know who that is.
Sal Tessio in The Godfather Part 2. Oh, okay. Died of natural causes.
(33:00):
So I'm in the clear. Ketchup.
Calling crits. He better pick up. Him and his skibbity-aged children.
When he picks up, he goes, What's up, baby?
I love Chris Watsky. He better fucking pick up. I need to know about this.
If not, can we call Adam and see if he knows?
Oh, my God. No, Adam won't know. No, I want to know what his thoughts on it
(33:24):
are. I don't even know if he knows of its existence.
Call him. Do you think the Skibity people are going to high-end pizza restaurants?
Probably. No, dude. Chris Watsky needs to answer. I need to know about the Skibity. Call Dutch.
Dutch might answer, yeah. I need your husband I'll take her He's asleep on the
toilet I mean he's not asleep on the toilet Too much Elvis in this conversation.
(33:52):
Dutch can tell us about Dutch will tell us about the skivvity What if they're
banging They might be Good for Crits Good for Dutch Good for the Dutch getting
that Crits wetski She's getting skivvity riz She's getting skivvity'd up.
She's getting what the sigma Bro that's all I would hear Following him Oh my
(34:20):
god Dutch no come on It's the Watskies are letting us down Call Logan,
Which one Boo boo B You think Joe knows Joe knows about the skivvity He also
has skivvity age children,
children i got joe b on the line we'll see i see joe b like twice a week i know,
(34:44):
so does adam simmons for real yes sir joe b you're on the plunge.
You have skibbity age children what is
a skibbity i don't know i just know it's a face in the toilet it's like a video
i don't know it's getting a movie what yeah it's getting a movie interesting
(35:05):
joe b we tried to call crit swatsky because he has two apex skibbity age children but,
joe b put on the mic i need do you know what a what the sigma is no is that
a real thing like do you either it's a it's a thing no i've never heard them
say it ever once okay so you're You're a good parent. That's what I'm hearing.
(35:29):
Of people, of kids saying it. I've never heard my kids say it. Okay.
Is it outlawed in the Joby household?
No, I don't know what it is. They're just, they're cool.
They're cool. He's a good dad. That's what it is. He's a good dad.
If they said it, as long as they told me what you're saying.
(35:51):
I'll make fun of some shit. Are your kids awake right now?
The one is The other one's at a sleepover Is the
one that's awake Do they know what Are they skibbity age children Do they know
what the Sigma and skibbity toilet are I don't know I'm gonna go ask We have
like on the scene beat reporting We do we have on the scene Joby on the scene
(36:11):
Excuse me Can I ask you a question Do you know what Say that again What the Sigma,
What does that mean What does that mean I don't know He doesn't know To make
fun of our friends He just uses it to make fun of his friends You use it,
but you don't know what it is? That's a lie. Tell us what it means.
And then, because people on the plunge want to know. And then, yeah. What is salt?
(36:34):
With Riley on the plunge and Hunter. Are they right? Yeah.
And then, the Skivity Toilet.
I know it's that video outside of that. Does it mean anything?
No, it's just literally that video. It's not.
Oh, see me. Google translate for that one. What?
(36:55):
That guy esoteric as fuck. What does that mean?
It says a different language. Probably like Klingon.
Dude, is your son mewing right now? I don't even know what the fuck that is.
No, he's playing fucking Fortnite.
He's probably mewing oh no no he's not mewing,
(37:18):
that's the episode title now my daughter has done that to me i need answers
dude i think we all right well thank you on the scene joe b,
joe what does the b stand for beat reporter joe beat reporter all right peace bro,
joe beat reporters.
(37:40):
I've been on one tonight huh yeah you've actually you've gotten a good amount
of genuine burst laugh from me can i um can i read a try crits again can i read
a big mike facebook status from earlier tonight the one you sent me earlier,
this is unprompted big mike has not updated
his facebook status in like a year if it
(38:01):
wasn't like checking in at an airport to let
you know people to rob his house no he's gonna be gone
wait do you want me to tweet not tweet but facebook
just go yum yum yum i'm a hungry boy no you don't need to do that um big mike
unprompted posted had the best corn i have had in a long time at techie farm
(38:23):
you guys are the best that's sick as hell that's high,
high praise high praise techie farm yeah yeah dude i mean sounds like he's been
in a bit of of a corn rut so i'm glad corn rut i'm glad he got the corn closure he needed the corn sure.
(38:45):
I watched 10 saw movies this last week as a non-gore non-scary movie guy,
wasn't having fun i can't wait for you to get
the hostile to hostile you'll be able to watch them
dude i'm such like a i'm such
a always bad hostels where i'm such a pussy like
(39:05):
i movies aren't even bad no those aren't bad
but like anything dark like that just gets me
in a bad headspace before four bed fucking weenie
so like if i have to turn them off by like nine you're
such and then i have to go into like gay shit mode like to
watch love is blind i'll throw on yeah i'll
throw something gay on the tv or i'll like listen i'll like
(39:27):
luckily lauren watch skibbity toilet yeah just watch skibbity
toilet riz brainwash yourself i do
like the rizzler he's the only saving grace out of this
next gen are you familiar with the
Rizzler is he the boom no he's friends with that's big justice wait yes the
Rizzler was on an episode where they rated everything on the menu that wasn't
(39:50):
good Rizzler you need to see the Rizzler's page that was Rizzler out of his
element he's not an interviews guy he gets business done,
what's his thing called the Rizzler it's just the Rizzler dude just look up the Rizzler.
He's the best He's like two feet tall and really fat And he does He only muses Oh yeah,
(40:15):
Put it in the mic Raise one eyebrow up And it should look like this Fucking like this,
Do it all together I gotta Is that all Oh my god Yeah it's Big AJ brother,
Ha ha ha ha The gene cycle. Mm-hmm.
(40:42):
Yeah all right that's so the i have a i had a i had a tiktok comment get a lot
of likes on a video he posted he made a video how he had five bike tricks at
the ready right okay yeah Yeah.
And I saw a very funny video. His bike tricks, bike trick one was he would just take one hand off.
(41:07):
Like he couldn't ride a bike with one hand, but he was like, oh, oh.
And then he would just, his next trick was like two hands off,
but then like right back to grabbing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then his third trick was going really fast.
That's a good trick. that brother all my
comments said was going really fast is
(41:28):
a sick trick also he wasn't
going very fast can i can you ride a
bike with no handlebars flow bot style no i never was
able to be a no handlebar guy really yeah do
you think i could yeah probably yeah i could ride
why do you ask me if there was an answer
no i just want i i just want to know if you dude i
(41:49):
could like ride around my neighborhood and do corners with no handlebars
i'm a very comfortable one hander but no i was never
a two hand no no hand guy i want to get
a throttle lock for my motorcycle so that i don't have to have my
that's great please don't do that oh no like
if no why no there's nothing
you can say to me that'll convince me
(42:10):
it's a good idea no it's not yeah it is uh the rizzlers the man shout out what
else did i watch you watched uh spiral i did watch spiral i have one saw movie
i have saw x saw 10 the new one theaters no but it's not streaming anywhere yet so.
You're not gonna rent that one no i'm not gonna rent that one i did watch crazy rich asians,
(42:35):
cra baby cra shout out didn't hate aquafina in it i did watch the new aquafina
movie with With John Cena called Jackpot.
What the Sigma is like what the heck from what I'm told, but I'm skeptical.
That's from Joby. What the Sigma? I can see that.
(42:56):
I can see it. One of my texts is like, knows all the lingo. Okay.
Because she has a 10-year-old son.
No, I don't want to. No, no, no. Can you just do some research?
Do I have to? Yeah. No, because then I'm going to use it ironically,
and then it's going to be unironically, and then I'm just going to talk like
a fucking- Yeah, you are. Don't do it. You're easily susceptible.
(43:18):
I've been saying swag for like nine years after it's cool to say swag.
It was never cool. I watched Jackpot came out yesterday on Amazon Prime starring
Awkwafina, John Cena, and Machine Gun Kelly.
Ew. It was really fun. Well, you liked it because Awkwafina was getting her
(43:39):
ass beat. Awkwafina got her ass beat.
So the plot of the movie is it's like eight years in the future.
So 2032. That's why we all still say oh snap and dope. Yeah, I mean. I say dope.
I guess there are shit that we just still say. i
say rat as fuck too that's sick right yeah
sick i guess is one of them yeah beef neck
(44:01):
yo yo beef neck family pack
yo i was about to hit joe b with the family pack joe b reporter's about to get
the family pack what's family pack short for family pack a cigarette do you
believe in middle school we used to run up to people and just thumb fuck them
and yell gaddafi that was crazy You didn't have a Gaddafi phase?
(44:22):
That's just settling in my brain You repressed it I almost said Asian Alien
Where you just do it from the front.
You almost had another spit take there That was a hard swallow You know like
when you just force it I just Bevo'd that water We almost lost Poopo to a Bevo stun,
(44:46):
Dude Gaddafi was crazy Gaddafi got banned very quick Beefneck got banned very quick Dude Gaddafi?
We didn't even know who Gaddafi was No we were just thumb fucking each other,
Yeah, we're sticking our thumbs in our friends' asses over a dictator who got
(45:06):
stabbed in the ass with a knife.
There was a kid, Ty Kell, who kept trying to start stuff like that.
Thinking he was like, Trini Big, yo, catch up. And then like try to slap somebody.
Ty Kell, it's not catching on, brother.
It ain't happening. Catch up. Yo, catch up. Yo, do you remember the whole eggs,
bacon, grits, keep it going.
(45:26):
It's bacon, grease, sausage.
That was a good one. That was a good one. That's not really a saying.
No, it's not like a lingo thing.
Our whole thing was odd. What are the odds? We had a big what are the odds moment.
That was like all of us. We used to do that a lot. That was just the thing.
You would get me a lot, too. We would just do things.
(45:49):
What are the odds? I'll go kiss that woman over there. Oh, man.
One in a thousand? I don't know. Why were we doing that?
The fear of when you actually Lose one That was pretty tough Like fuck you mean
I have to eat a ketchup sandwich now Why did I only say 1 in 25,
(46:10):
He knows I always say 7 Why did I do a bet with him.
Who did I get all the time Me You would always go really low Yeah I would always
pick 2 or 3 You would go one almost all the, no matter what the thing was, you'd be like, one.
You know what I also used to do because I was fucking brain dead as a teenager?
(46:34):
I would say numbers outside of the range, and then you'd be like, you just have to do it.
Yeah. And then you would, because you were like, fuck, those are the rules.
Yeah, them's the rules. You could have very easily been like, no.
Yeah, dude. I will not. I succumb to peer pressure.
What did I watch? Oh, what I originally would say.
On the cruise there was a tv in your room my
(46:57):
room had a like michael scott dinner party size
tv not bigger than
the monitor like and it
had all the channels were like front of
boat camera view back of boat
camera it was just the ocean all the channels
were what direction what cardinal direction would you like
(47:19):
to look in yeah north by northwest and then
there's just two movie channels and they played like the same six movies
i watched the end of adventures infinity war no less than like four times how
many times do you get goosebumps when you heard once i said once vendors one
time what have i watched besides you ever realized they made like 30 something
(47:42):
thing movies to drop that line one time yeah,
yeah I did okay I've watched I finished Ghostbusters shout out The Wheel I watched
Twister in anticipation for
Twisters On the Boat I watched Anyone But You again shout out The Sweeners.
My review just says this movie's so fucking hot. Dude, the fucking last post
(48:06):
from the Sweener herself.
Brother, she thirst-trapped an ass-pitch. She's thirst-trapping ass-pitch. Why?
Why do you? You don't have to. I have the hot video of your tits on the- Everywhere.
But listen, that's what we love about the Sweenes.
I have a bold take that got a lot of people mad.
Is it that she's still hot even when they throw the silence?
(48:27):
No, I said that the all-ladies Ghostbusters is better than both.
Yeah, you did definitely. I said it's for sure better than Ghostbusters 2.
And my ranking. M80 and then walked out of the room.
My rankings have every single new Ghostbusters, all three of them, above the OG 2.
I don't think they held up well. I think they stink and it got people really fucking mad.
(48:50):
I watched Deadpool and Wolverine without you. It was okay.
Don't tell me any spoilers. Okay. I might go see it tomorrow.
I watched The Bike Riders That sounds funny Austin Butler's hottest fuck,
So fucking hot Oh my god I watched The Fall Guy Emily Blunt's so fucking hot,
I fucking love Emily Blunt She
(49:12):
might be my new Hollywood crush She was my Hollywood crush For one movie.
Wiley's got a crush On Emily Blunt
Then I watched Civil War Kaylee Spanney's my new crush then obviously i watched
trolls band together i was with my niece i was like hey you like trolls she
and she did she did in fact like the trolls yeah i believe it she had never
(49:34):
seen it she's like twos that's right really hell yeah let's go watch trolls
one now and then i watched,
saw one saw two saw three saw
four saw five saw six the princess
diaries saw seven you just threw
the princess diaries i also spun on the wheel and
hathaway the princess that's sick as fuck on the wheel i spun the
(49:54):
princess diaries and saw which is a very funny yin
yang yeah there is some horror in
that then saw seven yeah jigsaw then i watched crazy rich asians this was friday
yeah furiosa sick i heard it was it's sick it's unbelievable it's like a better
version of borderlands it's just like it's equivalent to mad max fury road which is,
(50:19):
And Anya Taylor-Joy is so fucking hot That too Then I watched the Awkwafina movie,
And then today I watched Spiral I have a fucking take that's gonna get people
mad I turned Borat off Which one? I've never seen it.
I tried watching it today for the first time. You know what it's like?
What was the movie that you had never seen? Was it Step Brothers?
(50:40):
I've seen Step Brothers. What was the one that you missed the...
Oh, Anchorman. It's like Anchorman. I had seen Anchorman. No,
but you didn't... I was late, but this was before I became a movie guy.
But yes, I was late to Anchorman.
But I'm saying, in the same way that you missed Anchorman, you missed the absolute
fucking media storm that surrounded...
...that when it came out.
(51:01):
The wah-wah-wee-wah. Sure. and i know all the my sister is number four prostitute
in all of kazakhstan sure.
There are some very quotable lines for sure i couldn't
it was i couldn't make it through hey can i tell you yeah borat
2 subsequent movie film also sucks i'm
(51:23):
not a fan of the i've seen both of them but i'm not they
have that's a good title but borat 2
subsequent movie film is a good title um not
better it's the same it's just the same movie okay okay
noted it sucks yeah i turned it off gave
it two stars i think people are gonna get mad at that
but i don't care i can't hate on that it's not a good
(51:46):
movie i don't care and then i watched the peanut butter falcon
have you seen the grand budapest hotel brother wes
anderson's my favorite director no i know no i didn't know that but i have his
whole collection in the dvd shelf i'll show you right after this I mean like
the not the remake but like the newer yes Wes Anderson it's not a remake it's
(52:06):
just what am I thinking of there's an old one that's similar anyways,
yeah yes it's a great film Ralph's the man that guy's Voldemort did you know
that I didn't the main guy is Voldemort I've never seen the actor without the fucking,
cue ball ass looking you have I guess I had Have you seen the menu?
(52:33):
Wait. That's also Voldemort.
Oh, shit.
Cheeseburger to go, please. Yeah, the chef is Voldemort. That's crazy. Yeah.
He's also the guy from the Grand Budapest Hotel. Neither of us can say that
movie title. Grand Budapest.
We're in Budapest Hotel. Where am I going to keep all my luggage?
(52:55):
What else is he in that's going to piss you off? Can I tell you?
He doesn't look the same in any of those movies. Yeah, he does.
He looks more like himself in Grand Budapest Hotel.
He looks like himself in the menu in Grand Budapest Hotel.
He's also, I think, Hitler in Schindler's List.
I don't think I've seen Schindler's List, but...
(53:18):
Oh, no, he's Amon Goth. I don't know who that is. He's like the main character
in Schindler's List, though.
What do you mean Schindler is the main character? He's the third main character.
You know that after all that, Schindler's life fell apart? No,
I didn't. Yeah, it's really sad, actually. Oh, okay.
(53:39):
Yeah, that's about it. He's in most of the... Harry Potter's? No.
Well, yes, that too. He's in exactly four Harry Potter movies. Wait, really? Yeah.
But he's in Daniel Craig's. He's in four of the Daniel Craig James Bonds.
As who? Bad guy number... Mallory? Is that a... That's a female's name. Sorry, Gareth Mallory.
(54:05):
I don't remember who Mallory... Gareth? I don't remember who Mallory is.
That's okay. That is okay. You have a story?
No, I had a second one, but I forgot. oh
i was 30 minutes late to work yesterday it's not really much of
a story but what happened i thought
i just slept through my alarm happens yeah i almost
(54:26):
told that as the opening intro story i was like that's not that exciting
but to touch back on shabbat shalom
has thrown up thrown up like the the
gang signs and then saying as a bus
of jewish children are leaving the state going
shabbat shalom the kid
who said that at my work is one of the funniest fucking people on the
(54:49):
planet i swear to god but anyways thanks for listening guys to your fourth favorite
host on the east coast number one hockey podcast out of the border the number
one religious equestrian podcast north of the mason dixon line the number one
just shimp podcast the number one Don't keep yelling at this podcast out of the stratosphere.
The number one wheel podcast.
(55:11):
I took the plunge and had the time of my life. I finally took the plunge.
Music.
So on like monday or tuesday this week one there's a jewish camp in northwood that happens every year,
and i we didn't have our computers were down on monday morning so i called the
jewish camp that like canonically calls in a shit ton of prescriptions every
day and i when one of my texts came in they go oh the jewish camp is actually
(00:25):
done for the summer and i was like oh oh, how do you know that?
And he goes, I was driving behind him and I saw all the kids leaving on a bus,
so I hit him with, and he threw up like the West Side gang sign,
but instead of saying the West Side, he goes, I hit him with the Shabbat Shalom.
I was like, that's the funniest fucking thing I've ever heard.
I took the plunge and had the time of my life.
(00:48):
I finally took the plunge. And you know what? Let's break.
Music.
D-10. That's what we're doing. We're singing.
Y'all know nothing about this. Watch me. Watch me. Come on, man. Come on.
Dig it up, up, up. Dig it. Dig it up, up, up.
(01:09):
Dig it up, up, up. Dig it. Dig it up, up, up.
What's up, guys? Welcome to The Plunge. Today's the day. Joining me,
as always, my lovely husband, Riley T. Say what's up, dude.
Max comfort achieved. We got the whole couch tour. We do have the- That was tonight, brother.
There. We also got a new camera angle New camera angle A little bit further
back New couch I'm staring into the souls of our sweet sweet audience Welcome
(01:33):
back Sweet baby angels Episode 314,
Season 7 We took like a mini vacation for ourselves I went on actual vacation
I did not I had like maybe one of the worst weeks of work in my life You worked Yeah,
I can't, that's a, that's a, we're going to figure out the dogs are,
I might have to hide the dogs.
(01:55):
No free toes. No free toes on this. You really fumbled the bag colossally on that. Yeah. All right.
What up? What's up dude? Went on vacation, been dealing with some stuff.
The studio has been, let's call it rented for about a month.
(02:17):
So the studio is back and operational.
The Hess truck's back and it's better than ever. Hey now, hey now. The Hess truck's here.
And it's football season, which is the greatest time of the year almost.
It's true. Draft weekend next weekend. We got our draft. Yeah, it's been busy.
(02:37):
I've been like. I had my first weekend off this weekend. Did nothing. Was great.
Sounds incredible. yeah but like we had will's bachelor party then i went away
for a week i was also out of the state,
i'm either like working not in new
hampshire or you're working i
(02:58):
can't figure out what to do with the toes here i don't know what to do with
my feet i don't know yeah i don't know what to get do with dude just let the
claws out just leave the grippers i think i think i gotta cover the claws to
cover the claws i think i gotta cover the claws why are you insecure about your
feet There we go. Dude, I got nasty dogs.
Well, no one's looking at your dogs. The people might be looking at my dogs,
(03:19):
brother. I got to be aware of dog camp.
The dog. My dog.
I've read no books in training my dog i've
never had a dog like of my own
especially one that i've like trained from a puppy up so i've been she's very
smart when he's very smart almost to your detriment very much not almost to
(03:44):
my detriment um but can we talk about before how smart she is is
how both simultaneously athletic and unathletic.
Yeah, she runs like Isaiah Pacheco. She's angry at the ground.
Riley sent a video to our Snap group, and she's clearly running quickly.
(04:04):
She's agile as hell. You seen it. I seen it. You seen it.
Like just now, we were trying to steal a zip tie from her mouth.
It took four people. It took four people to corner her.
And she still almost got away. She did.
But you sent a video. She was just running back and forth between digging a
hole that she wasn't supposed to.
Correct. I put a big fat dump. And attacking the ground. Do you know how to counter hole diggers?
(04:26):
How? You put a big fat dump in their hole. Wait, really? Yeah.
That's sick as fuck. Immediately following that video, I put the fattest shit
in the yard right in her hole.
What you're not telling the audience is it was yours. It was my shit, yeah.
No, I put the biggest dump in the yard right in the hole. Hasn't touched the
hole since. Fill it up with hot Riley soup.
We want people to keep listening. But yeah, I put a big fat dump in the hole. She hasn't dug in it yet.
(04:50):
Why do you say we want people to keep listening to you go? We put the fat shit
in there. Big fat shit in the hole is different than a Riley soup.
No. What was I saying?
Oh, she's too smart. I've been training her, though. Don't know how to train
dogs. It's been going well.
Yeah, see, Allison immediately regrets clicking this. That's okay.
(05:11):
I actually watched a movie just before this with a character named Rat Boy, so shout out, Poitie.
Hey, yo, is that the PBF? Yeah, it was in the Peanut Butter Falcon. Yeah.
So I've just been training her. She's sitting now, laying down,
rolling over. Not so much rolling over. She rolls over. She just had a bad night.
She had an off night. she's pawing jumping dancing rolling
(05:33):
over like i said giving hugs working on
speak i don't know how to teach her speak she also doesn't bark she barks does
she yeah she barks and cries she finally found her voice she's found her voice
very much so so the other day i spent like an hour with just a treat in her
face just going speak Speak. Ruh.
(05:56):
Speak. Ruh, ruh, ruh. What would you do if it gets to a point where she just goes, Ruh, ruh, raggy.
And I thought I was home alone. I wasn't. Who else was home? Jackie was home.
She walks up and she's like, what the fuck are you doing? I was like,
try and teach her how to speak on command. I got this treat here.
(06:19):
Speak. Ruh, ruh, ruh. Bark, bark. is
she barked the same way that lauren used to or still
does i guess kind of yeah but yeah it
didn't work she never got it at no and honestly i
was at the point where i was then just holding the treat in front of her trying to
piss her off so she would then bark at me she doesn't
really bark at me she really only barks at
(06:39):
like other things doesn't bark to let him know yeah it doesn't bark at me so
she was never barking at me so because i was just gonna enforce her bad behavior
barking at me to be like yes exactly speak dude i hear your dog getting 2.9
yards per carry upstairs,
They're like a Derrick Henry 2.9. Yeah. They're having trouble bringing her down. Yeah.
(07:05):
She's tiring out the defense, brother.
But yeah, I spent like an hour just sitting in my living room, Indian style.
I feel like an idiot. Hey, crisscross applesauce style. I feel like an indigenous style.
I felt like an idiot. I was just sitting there going, Dog, I do that at home,
and I don't have an animal.
(07:27):
But yeah. We've been living Bermuda, getting destroyed by a hurricane right now.
Fuck, I forgot to bring your Crank it Dat Hog shirt again. That's okay.
But you know what other shirt you do have? I did get a shirt while I was in
Bermuda, the Big Mute, as they call it.
Yeah, colloquially known as Big Mute.
(07:49):
You had a shirt when I showed up with Big Mike's Dirty Dicks.
I got my crabs from Dirty Dicks Crab Shack. You
showed up with the Bonefish Grill I got
the big boner shirt In Bermuda I found
the Bonefish Grill It's hard to miss It's the
first building off the dock That's sick as hell When you
(08:13):
take a cruise I see my dad did not waste any time Finding
somewhere to drink Brother it's the first establishment Like when you walk down
into the area Like the shopping area That's sick as hell dude The first building
And I ordered my big boner So I can say I actually earned my big boner Now the
saving grace for you Hunt.
(08:35):
Is next year we're returning to bermuda
squat by my own yeah i have to have two
big boner shirts no i think you can just
i think the meaning of your big boner shirt just changes once
you've it's a foreshadowing of my life do you know what the big boner is so
on the back of the shirts like i defeated the big bone it's 50 ounces it's a
(08:57):
50 ounce beer that's ridiculous And I drank it after a day of pretty much me
and Lauren spent our final day in Bermuda.
We had like gone to the beaches the prior two days and like kind of explored.
So we spent the third day just doing like random tourist shit in the main shopping
center and going to every restaurant and getting whatever their novelty drink was.
(09:19):
And with that, we would just get like an appetizer. So we went to like three
restaurants to just get an appetizer or whatever silly drink they had that they're
known for. What was the Rizzler thing you got?
Are you getting there? Oh, brother, you're talking about Rum Swizzles.
Yeah, Rum Swizzles. No, we went to the Swizzle Inn, known for their pitchers of Rum Swizzles.
We'll be returning there. Word, word. That is on St.
(09:40):
George, which you have to take a ferry to on the other side of Bermuda. Okay.
We're going to take that. Next door to it is the Blue Hole, okay?
Yo, I got a Blue Hole. It's a cliff-jumping swimming hole in the most beautiful spot ever.
So we're going to go decimate- I have the Blue Hole. brother
we're gonna go decimate rum swizzles whole squad and
(10:01):
then we're gonna go jump in the blue hole that's sick that's the big plan we
me and lauren we took the bullet for everyone we solo you took the bullet just
had a sick we just had a great time we went in with no agenda we didn't look
into that much we knew like what the nice beaches were and stuff.
And now we're going back next year with everyone. Hell yeah.
(10:24):
So we went solo this time. We had no itinerary. We had no excursions booked.
We just got off the boat and we were like, let's see where the day takes us.
What did we do day one? Day one, we went to Horseshoe Bay Beach,
which is the pink sand beach. Yep. Looked straight out of a postcard. It was beautiful.
(10:45):
Does it taste pink? It tastes salty. salty
okay the saltiest
water i've ever experienced i know
probably all salt water is the same it seemed extra true
that's true the dead sea of higher salination concentrations which make you
float better it was one of those where i like gent my eyes hurt yeah because
(11:06):
you open your eyes i don't i didn't there because we were mostly just let's
just sitting in the you're like i don't want I don't want an eye disease from Bermuda. It hurt, yeah.
And then all the sweat made the salt water go into my eye and the sweat. It was painful.
But probably the most beautiful beach I've been to.
A mistake I didn't make, I did wear a bathing suit. That's nice.
(11:28):
So we were able to hang out and swim.
Didn't do that. I don't know where. Grand Cayman, we were in February.
I didn't bring my bathing suit to our beach day.
Why? Well, so I don't think I packed one because I didn't have any.
I would just wear a bathing suit all week.
Yeah, I pretty much did. That's nice.
But yeah, we went to the Horseshoe Bay Beach, and then we... That was just it.
(11:51):
That was just it. It's so nice. You get off the boat, and they're just like,
hey, seven bucks. We'll take you to any of the nice beaches. We're like, yes.
Yes, please. Yeah. You just get in this bus.
Bermuda, beautifully camped. Camped? Like, unbelievably nice.
Ice a lot of the islands like i've been to on the cruises
they're all very shitty super shitty except
(12:13):
for like the resort areas all of bermuda was
stunningly like upkept highly recommend
day two wait to go next year day two we
took the ferry to saint george that's gonna
be my first vacation next year by the way because i
think i'm just gonna book it and then make it my priority vacation
for next year hell yeah and then number two
(12:36):
go to obrx my parents actually just texted me
about that tonight that's very funny yeah make it
make it your priority vacation and book it with brian yeah no it's it's worth
it for sure hell yeah yeah we took the ferry so norwegian just has a free ferry
that on the second day runs non-stop all day that's sick so we got on like the
(12:56):
second ferry we didn't really know we literally this is just a booze cruise we kind of felt like a No,
the ferry's straight up like a giant tab.
No, it's a giant ship that just takes, it's just for transport to bring you
to the other side of the island. That's sick as fuck.
We had one thing in mind, and that was to go get rum swizzles.
That's it. Which the ferry was like an hour away.
(13:19):
So each way yeah damn so
well we didn't really look into anything else over
there they have like these crystal caves we didn't want to go to and then
that was where the blue hole was but we really didn't want to go swimming in
there lauren was she had a blister on her foot and we didn't have like our bathing
suit stuff so it's like a cross so we started we walked over to it but we didn't
(13:42):
go swimming in it and so next year i think our we have a whole plan around it
where we're We're going to go early.
Okay. Get rum swizzles. Yeah. Go to the Blue Hole.
And then there's a really nice- Did you get fucking swizzled?
We're going to get swizzed the fuck up, brother. Yes.
I had like four-fifths of the pitcher. We got a half pitcher.
Okay. Because they get you fucked.
(14:03):
That's sick. Yeah. They're just juicy concoctions of deliciousness that are super alcoholic.
We had a half pitcher. I did about four-fifths of it. Then I got a frozen swizzle, which was divine.
A frizzle. Yeah, we got apps everywhere we went. We just got apps.
We didn't need a single entree like out on the island.
Just a million apps. So next year, that's the plan. We'll take the ferry.
(14:27):
We'll do a bunch of shopping in that cute little area. Well, we got the plan.
Day three, we went fucking mini golfing on the most beautiful mini golf course.
That's sick as fuck. It was just along the water and the whole plot of the course. Was it just remade?
It was also like a real golf greens. Okay. It wasn't like gimmicky mini golf.
(14:48):
It was like challenging greens.
Dude, the picture you sent of the final score, which I know you'll get there. You can go. Go ahead.
So Riley sent a snap of the final scorecard.
I think it was 67 to 65. I did win.
Riley did win. I did win. However, Lauren got a disheartening nine on hole two.
(15:11):
On hole two. it just apparently crushed it
from thereafter yeah she was on a she's she was
a menace it was it was nice to see uh but
yeah it was and it remade all holes from the nicest courses
in the country and it was like challenging you had to read greens on mini golf
which is crazy and then that was the day we just fucking walked around so what
(15:34):
we learned is we could probably do the walk around shopping center go get food
and novelty drinks the same day we do the beach yep.
Day one, I think we're all going to get a catamaran, go on a catamaran.
What's that, a small boat? Catamaran's a small boat.
That's a booze cruise where they usually have snorkeling with it and stuff. That's sick as fuck.
And you just go on this sweet boat. It has nets in the front.
(15:54):
Oh, I know what that is. Yeah, all right.
That's like a boats and hoes boat. Yeah, it's a boats and hoes boat.
So I think we're going to go on a boats and hoes boat day one and then maybe
shop a little if we have time.
You can usually go on a nighttime catamaran. So the good part about this Bermuda cruise.
Who would not be into a nighttime catamaran? in the best part about the
the bermuda is you're just there for three days it just
turns into your hotel yeah just a floating hotel
(16:17):
yeah because you still sleep in your room room yeah you're i mean
the boat the boat's still the cruise is still cruising yeah but yeah so i think
and then day two we'll do the swizzle and hole word day three i gotta sign up
for that shit immediately yeah talk to brian talk to brian it's gonna be fun
so me and lauren are going you and brian are going. Slurpee B.
(16:40):
My parents, Mikey T. Shout out Failing Hollywood, his family.
You think Corey would go? They're trying to get Corey.
I joked with Lauren. I was like, we're going to be the only fucking people who pay for this cruise.
What do you mean? Well, I think they were like trying to, they're like,
do you think Corey needs help?
And I was like, no, Corey just sold two homes. Corey's perfectly fine.
(17:03):
He can. He just might not want to.
Yeah, so I think that's what it is. Lauren's parents are going.
Lauren's fun aunt and uncle are going. Brother? You're going to like day four
seven. We're trying to get the brother.
The brother might need to bunk with you, though. you want
logan petey's he's the man well you
(17:23):
yeah you'll be boys yeah you will be and brian yeah
we'll see yeah all right yeah
we'll we'll see are you doing me me
and brian might have to have some some bonding time me and him haven't spent
a lot of time together brother you're on a boat you're not gonna be in your
room like nighttime fun stuff when you're delirious and getting back drunk and
(17:44):
fucking with each other ordering room service room watching avengers infinity
war yeah Yeah, it'd be sick.
There was just two movie channels.
Actually, Loki, I feel like bunking with Lauren's brother would be fun because
I'm kind of like your little brother.
Yeah, and so then he would be like- Lauren's little brother.
Well, he is Lauren's little brother, but yeah.
(18:04):
Yeah, but you can be the same thing, but also be like- That's true.
Yeah, that would be fun. That'd be sick as fuck. And then whoever else wants to come. Hell yeah.
It'd be a fun fucking time. So it's going to be fun. I'm excited.
You're going to get the big boner. I am so excited to get Big Mike's Big Boner.
Pause. What was that?
(18:25):
What was what? I think that's dog going potty. I heard a whistle.
Yeah, it's probably dog going potty. You and Big Mike going to split a Big Boner?
Yeah. No. I'm going to try to teach...
No, you're not splitting a big boner, brother. No, I just want to get to what
I'm going to say. No, I will drink my own big boner. Okay.
I'm going to see if I can teach Big Mike how to swim again. How to swim? Yeah.
(18:50):
Do you think Big Mike doesn't know how to swim? No, I know he knows how to swim.
Do you not remember at your party? I was like, come on, I'll show you.
Teach him how to swim? Let me take my hand. No, dude, you're not.
Brother, Miguel Grande knows how to come in. That's saying, I don't know. Nada, nada. Anadar.
What is to know? Is that encantar? Why are you asking me? Migo grande encanta anadar.
(19:16):
Yo tengo un gato en fuego en my pantalones. That's nice.
What does that mean? What's his name? You have a cat on fire in your pants, brother.
That's the only thing I can say in Spanish. I don't have a 650 day.
Donde esta la biblioteca?
You could actually put that one to use if you just learn a couple more location type words.
(19:40):
What is that? Where is the? It's where is the, yes. You said library,
which. Donde esta el baño?
Good. Yeah, you're cooking. Is that bathroom? That's bathroom.
Donde esta the gymnasium? El gymnasio. So pretty close.
You're all right. I'm basically fluent in Spanish. What do you think?
(20:01):
What do you think the supermarket is?
El Marketo. You're not supermarket.
It's just supermarket. It's supermercado. I'm going to go donde esta Walmart.
That would play. That would play. Yep, that plays. Donde esta...
What's another place?
(20:24):
Give me, I'm blanking. There's a lot of places. La Pesquina.
Are you studying for Bermuda? Yes. They speak English.
No, but like if I want to talk to locals.
They speak English. Are you sure? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Have you been? I have. Okay.
You could say La Playa. That's the beach.
(20:45):
Vamos a La Playa. That's good. What is that? Let's go to the beach?
That's, yeah. what is run correr dude
you've taken a thousand duolingo lessons
and I'm already fluent in Spanish you are that's true zero Kaz
is punching the air screaming crying shit
(21:05):
and fart and puking punching the air stomping his feet eating
shrimp ceviche brother I
so the other side of this vacation
donde esta el kitchen la cochina
la cochina yeah sorry i
didn't other side of the cruise i got back from the cruise and
(21:25):
tried to do any amount of physical physical activity it's like i got hit by
a fucking bus dude you're tan as fuck though i was thank you for picking me
up hey hey hey i appreciate i tell you that was so not even like in my head
that i don't even remember doing it i i will apologize i got
us lost in Boston for a minute? I did too.
(21:47):
Actually, no, you did get it. We would have been on the bridge if I just kept-
To be fair, you turned your GPS off far before you should have.
That was on accident? Yeah, I did.
I'll take a lot of the blame because I went, no, I think it's this way.
It wasn't. You should have turned the GPS off.
(22:07):
Yeah. Was Lauren stressed? Because I felt bad. Because it happens.
I think she was just ready to get home to the dog, but I don't think she...
When I told her it was only like a couple extra minutes, I think she was fine.
Yeah, and then that weird fucked up turnaround turn. That turn sucks.
Yeah. I've taken that wrong turn like three times. Not three times. Once. The sharper turn.
(22:28):
Well, then you get back onto Storo Drive and you have to do the whole loop again. Yeah.
That wasn't too bad, though. No. I like driving.
Have you cruised the hunt no i've never been on i haven't
been on a vacation in like nine years oh i'm
excited then that's what i'm saying can i
tell you why i said maybe i also
(22:49):
kind of want my own room that's fair
i think the one thing for that we're
not there's going to be very little in room time because you
get this so the good this boat it's super
loungy it's not one of these like new mega boats
where they're like trying to fit like amusement parks yeah it's like super loungy
(23:10):
and relaxing and there's just places to chill i get that everywhere also just
having like if i need to go back to my room and just be like chill just me time you can do that.
We'll see i think you can do that with brian though i could
say hey brian also me and brian and like have
regularly cuddled so yeah i don't yeah just be like hey brian
(23:33):
can you go fucking listen to live music for
a little bit so i can beat my
shmeet sure hey if you need to no okay i will not i got an interior room again
i've uh cheaper who cares i'm not gonna get one with the a mirror so i can fuck
(23:54):
brian and look at myself bro the mirror the fucking mirror.
What's up adam you want to come to bermuda with us next year book it true brother
we get we'll give you the week we've never had i've never had i don't remember
how much you said that you paid but i'm also curious because you said it wasn't
(24:16):
bad no you don't have to tell me right now i will We'll talk to you later.
I can tell you it's an interior room. It's going to be 3126.
That's it? Yeah. For two people. That's fucking crazy. Yeah.
Dude, we walk into that room.
What up, Ben? What's up, Ben? How you doing? Ben's doing great.
How you living, chicken boy? Chicken boy.
(24:38):
You never heard brother chickens are afraid of ben you think ben's responsible
responsible for about one percent of chicken death,
in the u.s yeah yeah yeah ben made it home shout out ben we love you glad you're
doing better big ups big bevo big ups big lifts we got pompo.
(25:02):
Dude i walk so i've never had an interior room we were just we booked our cruise
last second so So we were like, fuck it. We don't care.
It's our first solo cruise. We just wanted to relax anyway. So we're like,
okay, don't care. Don't need a balcony because we're just chilling.
We walk into that room. The entire length of the bed on the wall behind was
(25:24):
a full length mirror. The entire wall.
That's so fucking sick. As a fat man, it was my worst nightmare.
I know, but you just sometimes. No. I feel like you've lost yourself in the
eye. I'm not a foyer, Hunt, okay?
Am I actually just a deviant?
No, that's definitely made for some people. Some people walk into that room and go, I'm not leaving.
(25:47):
I walk into that room and I'm going to make eye contact with myself and get hard.
That's not that funny. No, it's not.
You're going to look yourself in the eye until your penis gets hard?
Do you think that's not funny?
No dude that's funny as hell um don't ruin
(26:08):
the illusion i gotta make sure i don't find it was a full-length mirror
the entire length of the wall right behind that like it was that there wasn't
a headboard it was the headboard mirror was just mirror and then also you couldn't
even escape because on the other side there's more it's fucked that's sick is there casinos,
(26:29):
Yeah, so they're only operational at sea because of different rules.
Yeah, international laws. Yeah.
Can you still sit in there and get free drinks? No.
It's not running. But also, you can get free drinks everywhere because you're
on a cruise. Yeah. You have a drink package. Yeah. Yeah.
I don't know why I snorted, but that was funny. You're in casino mindset.
(26:52):
You forgot about that the cruise itself is just...
There's a lot of people like, you're paying for it. Big Mike's a big...
Well, you're paying for it. No, I'm not.
It's truly the test of if you're a free couch person or not.
Maybe I... Are you going to convert me? It might be because the second I walk
on there, everything's free and I'm just enjoying it.
(27:14):
True. Yeah. No, I think I'm in on free couch.
The concept of free couch now. Yeah.
Because you pay for the cruise. I'm paying for my cruise now.
And then a year from now, I'm just having a sick-ass free vacation. Yeah, dude.
Okay, I'm in. I'm sold. Yeah.
(27:35):
Dude, that's sick as fuck. But yeah, there's just live music everywhere. I lost Karaoke Idol.
You did, yeah. It was to no fault of my own.
The way to win karaoke idol is to have a crowd reaction, which meant every finalist,
(27:56):
so I was one of the finalists.
Your stadium pulse was so low. My stadium pulse could not have been lower.
I'm up there with one guy who's also there with just a significant other,
and we're up against four children and their extended families,
And then like two old guys everyone hated The crowd goes wild These kids are
(28:17):
like not able to They don't know how to hold a fucking beat And they're getting
advanced to the finals Because they have 47 family members Going apeshit And
then they're like how about Riley This is Lauren Yay.
If it's based on decibels I'm coming back with a vengeance next year I'm going
to train my body to fart at the decibel Volume of a gunshot,
(28:40):
so that not only do i damage people's hearing but you also definitely get the
loudest reaction yeah so i mean i looked at the other guys like this just isn't
fair we're gonna lose to fucking samson the three-year-old who sang imagine
dragons and couldn't hold the fucking lyrics.
This man started saying yellow submarine in the
middle of viva la vita loca
(29:02):
there is this one old guy who just walks around dogs out
on the dance floor this is like they hold the karaoke in
the the club it's like it converts to a club at like
11 okay but they do like karaoke it's
like a nice lounge there's an old dude who just
walked some disabled vet respect the
vets he lives on this i'm telling he probably lives
(29:23):
on this cruise ship and every night you just walk around
fucking big foot in the ground and go
up in isaiah pacheco i tried to sing it
carry i didn't even want to be in karaoke idol can i say
this but i tried i just wanted to do karaoke
i wanted to do karaoke once i went up three
different nights and this guy was just this old dude who couldn't sing would
(29:46):
just go up and sing an elvis song every like four to five songs and hog karaoke
night to himself i couldn't even get into a karaoke night to get a song like
i couldn't get a song in because of.
This fucking guy they're like that's old greg he's
the ugliest he would just go up and go i thank the veterans
i love elvis presley and
(30:09):
then he would sing an elvis presley song that sounds like a guy who should have
been singing toby keith no he's he some guy came he's like did you know he's
a he's an elvis impersonator in atlantic city i ain't nothing about her no he's
fucking not Not a very good one.
I did come back with a new fear of modern day teenagers.
(30:31):
They terrify me. Yeah. They run the hot tubs, brother. There's one thing you need to know.
Going into this cruise the fucking cool
kid teens own the hot tub i do i
don't know i have a doctor level education i think i can trick them brother
me and lauren would just sit in chairs in in our bathing suits near a hot tub
(30:52):
waiting for the opportunity open spots in these and they're just people no they
run in packs dude they don't i'll get in no okay so here's the way to break up
the packs though right if the herd if the
herd gets too thin if you penetrate the
herd they all scatter so if
like like bugs yeah so like if if some of
(31:14):
them too many of them leave to go grab a hot dog real
quick you can sneak in there and then they fucking
all leave like that's what i'm saying if i get in there
they're gone yeah even if there's one spot
and i get in they'll be weirded out and leave yeah brother
i messaged brother's a door dash driver i'm a hungry boy yum yum yum you think
(31:36):
i won't get into a hot tub drunk with other just i say other with teenagers
that i don't know i'll get in there and be like hello fellow kids you think i give a fuck.
I almost spit take that one hello fellow kids you doing the Steve Buscemi yeah
(31:56):
dude I'll wear my shrimps as bugs hat so that they know that I'm cool with the lingo,
yeah the big lingo these days shrimps I hope my bracelet that just says cum
slut they'll be terrified of me they will.
Yeah, it's bad. The teens terrified me. They outfitted me. I was outfitted by the teens.
(32:16):
Yeah, you got mogged. You got fucking skibbity toileted. I did get,
dude, I want to hit them all.
Can you tell me what the- No, I have no idea what a skibbity riz is.
What is the skibbity toilet?
I don't know. You were telling me about that, and I was like- Should we get
Chris Watsky on? He has two skibbity aged kids. He's got two skibbity toilets.
(32:37):
He does have two skibbity.
All right, we're going to get Chris Watsky on. Crits Wucky.
You better answer. What time is it? Is it past his bedtime? No.
Wait, who died? Oh, fuck. I accidentally hit a... John Aprea. I don't know who that is.
Sal Tessio in The Godfather Part 2. Oh, okay. Died of natural causes.
(33:00):
So I'm in the clear. Ketchup.
Calling crits. He better pick up. Him and his skibbity-aged children.
When he picks up, he goes, What's up, baby?
I love Chris Watsky. He better fucking pick up. I need to know about this.
If not, can we call Adam and see if he knows?
Oh, my God. No, Adam won't know. No, I want to know what his thoughts on it
(33:24):
are. I don't even know if he knows of its existence.
Call him. Do you think the Skibity people are going to high-end pizza restaurants?
Probably. No, dude. Chris Watsky needs to answer. I need to know about the Skibity. Call Dutch.
Dutch might answer, yeah. I need your husband I'll take her He's asleep on the
toilet I mean he's not asleep on the toilet Too much Elvis in this conversation.
(33:52):
Dutch can tell us about Dutch will tell us about the skivvity What if they're
banging They might be Good for Crits Good for Dutch Good for the Dutch getting
that Crits wetski She's getting skivvity riz She's getting skivvity'd up.
She's getting what the sigma Bro that's all I would hear Following him Oh my
(34:20):
god Dutch no come on It's the Watskies are letting us down Call Logan,
Which one Boo boo B You think Joe knows Joe knows about the skivvity He also
has skivvity age children,
children i got joe b on the line we'll see i see joe b like twice a week i know,
(34:44):
so does adam simmons for real yes sir joe b you're on the plunge.
You have skibbity age children what is
a skibbity i don't know i just know it's a face in the toilet it's like a video
i don't know it's getting a movie what yeah it's getting a movie interesting
(35:05):
joe b we tried to call crit swatsky because he has two apex skibbity age children but,
joe b put on the mic i need do you know what a what the sigma is no is that
a real thing like do you either it's a it's a thing no i've never heard them
say it ever once okay so you're You're a good parent. That's what I'm hearing.
(35:29):
Of people, of kids saying it. I've never heard my kids say it. Okay.
Is it outlawed in the Joby household?
No, I don't know what it is. They're just, they're cool.
They're cool. He's a good dad. That's what it is. He's a good dad.
If they said it, as long as they told me what you're saying.
(35:51):
I'll make fun of some shit. Are your kids awake right now?
The one is The other one's at a sleepover Is the
one that's awake Do they know what Are they skibbity age children Do they know
what the Sigma and skibbity toilet are I don't know I'm gonna go ask We have
like on the scene beat reporting We do we have on the scene Joby on the scene
(36:11):
Excuse me Can I ask you a question Do you know what Say that again What the Sigma,
What does that mean What does that mean I don't know He doesn't know To make
fun of our friends He just uses it to make fun of his friends You use it,
but you don't know what it is? That's a lie. Tell us what it means.
And then, because people on the plunge want to know. And then, yeah. What is salt?
(36:34):
With Riley on the plunge and Hunter. Are they right? Yeah.
And then, the Skivity Toilet.
I know it's that video outside of that. Does it mean anything?
No, it's just literally that video. It's not.
Oh, see me. Google translate for that one. What?
(36:55):
That guy esoteric as fuck. What does that mean?
It says a different language. Probably like Klingon.
Dude, is your son mewing right now? I don't even know what the fuck that is.
No, he's playing fucking Fortnite.
He's probably mewing oh no no he's not mewing,
(37:18):
that's the episode title now my daughter has done that to me i need answers
dude i think we all right well thank you on the scene joe b,
joe what does the b stand for beat reporter joe beat reporter all right peace bro,
joe beat reporters.
(37:40):
I've been on one tonight huh yeah you've actually you've gotten a good amount
of genuine burst laugh from me can i um can i read a try crits again can i read
a big mike facebook status from earlier tonight the one you sent me earlier,
this is unprompted big mike has not updated
his facebook status in like a year if it
(38:01):
wasn't like checking in at an airport to let
you know people to rob his house no he's gonna be gone
wait do you want me to tweet not tweet but facebook
just go yum yum yum i'm a hungry boy no you don't need to do that um big mike
unprompted posted had the best corn i have had in a long time at techie farm
(38:23):
you guys are the best that's sick as hell that's high,
high praise high praise techie farm yeah yeah dude i mean sounds like he's been
in a bit of of a corn rut so i'm glad corn rut i'm glad he got the corn closure he needed the corn sure.
(38:45):
I watched 10 saw movies this last week as a non-gore non-scary movie guy,
wasn't having fun i can't wait for you to get
the hostile to hostile you'll be able to watch them
dude i'm such like a i'm such
a always bad hostels where i'm such a pussy like
(39:05):
i movies aren't even bad no those aren't bad
but like anything dark like that just gets me
in a bad headspace before four bed fucking weenie
so like if i have to turn them off by like nine you're
such and then i have to go into like gay shit mode like to
watch love is blind i'll throw on yeah i'll
throw something gay on the tv or i'll like listen i'll like
(39:27):
luckily lauren watch skibbity toilet yeah just watch skibbity
toilet riz brainwash yourself i do
like the rizzler he's the only saving grace out of this
next gen are you familiar with the
Rizzler is he the boom no he's friends with that's big justice wait yes the
Rizzler was on an episode where they rated everything on the menu that wasn't
(39:50):
good Rizzler you need to see the Rizzler's page that was Rizzler out of his
element he's not an interviews guy he gets business done,
what's his thing called the Rizzler it's just the Rizzler dude just look up the Rizzler.
He's the best He's like two feet tall and really fat And he does He only muses Oh yeah,
(40:15):
Put it in the mic Raise one eyebrow up And it should look like this Fucking like this,
Do it all together I gotta Is that all Oh my god Yeah it's Big AJ brother,
Ha ha ha ha The gene cycle. Mm-hmm.
(40:42):
Yeah all right that's so the i have a i had a i had a tiktok comment get a lot
of likes on a video he posted he made a video how he had five bike tricks at
the ready right okay yeah Yeah.
And I saw a very funny video. His bike tricks, bike trick one was he would just take one hand off.
(41:07):
Like he couldn't ride a bike with one hand, but he was like, oh, oh.
And then he would just, his next trick was like two hands off,
but then like right back to grabbing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then his third trick was going really fast.
That's a good trick. that brother all my
comments said was going really fast is
(41:28):
a sick trick also he wasn't
going very fast can i can you ride a
bike with no handlebars flow bot style no i never was
able to be a no handlebar guy really yeah do
you think i could yeah probably yeah i could ride
why do you ask me if there was an answer
no i just want i i just want to know if you dude i
(41:49):
could like ride around my neighborhood and do corners with no handlebars
i'm a very comfortable one hander but no i was never
a two hand no no hand guy i want to get
a throttle lock for my motorcycle so that i don't have to have my
that's great please don't do that oh no like
if no why no there's nothing
you can say to me that'll convince me
(42:10):
it's a good idea no it's not yeah it is uh the rizzlers the man shout out what
else did i watch you watched uh spiral i did watch spiral i have one saw movie
i have saw x saw 10 the new one theaters no but it's not streaming anywhere yet so.
You're not gonna rent that one no i'm not gonna rent that one i did watch crazy rich asians,
(42:35):
cra baby cra shout out didn't hate aquafina in it i did watch the new aquafina
movie with With John Cena called Jackpot.
What the Sigma is like what the heck from what I'm told, but I'm skeptical.
That's from Joby. What the Sigma? I can see that.
(42:56):
I can see it. One of my texts is like, knows all the lingo. Okay.
Because she has a 10-year-old son.
No, I don't want to. No, no, no. Can you just do some research?
Do I have to? Yeah. No, because then I'm going to use it ironically,
and then it's going to be unironically, and then I'm just going to talk like
a fucking- Yeah, you are. Don't do it. You're easily susceptible.
(43:18):
I've been saying swag for like nine years after it's cool to say swag.
It was never cool. I watched Jackpot came out yesterday on Amazon Prime starring
Awkwafina, John Cena, and Machine Gun Kelly.
Ew. It was really fun. Well, you liked it because Awkwafina was getting her
(43:39):
ass beat. Awkwafina got her ass beat.
So the plot of the movie is it's like eight years in the future.
So 2032. That's why we all still say oh snap and dope. Yeah, I mean. I say dope.
I guess there are shit that we just still say. i
say rat as fuck too that's sick right yeah
sick i guess is one of them yeah beef neck
(44:01):
yo yo beef neck family pack
yo i was about to hit joe b with the family pack joe b reporter's about to get
the family pack what's family pack short for family pack a cigarette do you
believe in middle school we used to run up to people and just thumb fuck them
and yell gaddafi that was crazy You didn't have a Gaddafi phase?
(44:22):
That's just settling in my brain You repressed it I almost said Asian Alien
Where you just do it from the front.
You almost had another spit take there That was a hard swallow You know like
when you just force it I just Bevo'd that water We almost lost Poopo to a Bevo stun,
(44:46):
Dude Gaddafi was crazy Gaddafi got banned very quick Beefneck got banned very quick Dude Gaddafi?
We didn't even know who Gaddafi was No we were just thumb fucking each other,
Yeah, we're sticking our thumbs in our friends' asses over a dictator who got
(45:06):
stabbed in the ass with a knife.
There was a kid, Ty Kell, who kept trying to start stuff like that.
Thinking he was like, Trini Big, yo, catch up. And then like try to slap somebody.
Ty Kell, it's not catching on, brother.
It ain't happening. Catch up. Yo, catch up. Yo, do you remember the whole eggs,
bacon, grits, keep it going.
(45:26):
It's bacon, grease, sausage.
That was a good one. That was a good one. That's not really a saying.
No, it's not like a lingo thing.
Our whole thing was odd. What are the odds? We had a big what are the odds moment.
That was like all of us. We used to do that a lot. That was just the thing.
You would get me a lot, too. We would just do things.
(45:49):
What are the odds? I'll go kiss that woman over there. Oh, man.
One in a thousand? I don't know. Why were we doing that?
The fear of when you actually Lose one That was pretty tough Like fuck you mean
I have to eat a ketchup sandwich now Why did I only say 1 in 25,
(46:10):
He knows I always say 7 Why did I do a bet with him.
Who did I get all the time Me You would always go really low Yeah I would always
pick 2 or 3 You would go one almost all the, no matter what the thing was, you'd be like, one.
You know what I also used to do because I was fucking brain dead as a teenager?
(46:34):
I would say numbers outside of the range, and then you'd be like, you just have to do it.
Yeah. And then you would, because you were like, fuck, those are the rules.
Yeah, them's the rules. You could have very easily been like, no.
Yeah, dude. I will not. I succumb to peer pressure.
What did I watch? Oh, what I originally would say.
On the cruise there was a tv in your room my
(46:57):
room had a like michael scott dinner party size
tv not bigger than
the monitor like and it
had all the channels were like front of
boat camera view back of boat
camera it was just the ocean all the channels
were what direction what cardinal direction would you like
(47:19):
to look in yeah north by northwest and then
there's just two movie channels and they played like the same six movies
i watched the end of adventures infinity war no less than like four times how
many times do you get goosebumps when you heard once i said once vendors one
time what have i watched besides you ever realized they made like 30 something
(47:42):
thing movies to drop that line one time yeah,
yeah I did okay I've watched I finished Ghostbusters shout out The Wheel I watched
Twister in anticipation for
Twisters On the Boat I watched Anyone But You again shout out The Sweeners.
My review just says this movie's so fucking hot. Dude, the fucking last post
(48:06):
from the Sweener herself.
Brother, she thirst-trapped an ass-pitch. She's thirst-trapping ass-pitch. Why?
Why do you? You don't have to. I have the hot video of your tits on the- Everywhere.
But listen, that's what we love about the Sweenes.
I have a bold take that got a lot of people mad.
Is it that she's still hot even when they throw the silence?
(48:27):
No, I said that the all-ladies Ghostbusters is better than both.
Yeah, you did definitely. I said it's for sure better than Ghostbusters 2.
And my ranking. M80 and then walked out of the room.
My rankings have every single new Ghostbusters, all three of them, above the OG 2.
I don't think they held up well. I think they stink and it got people really fucking mad.
(48:50):
I watched Deadpool and Wolverine without you. It was okay.
Don't tell me any spoilers. Okay. I might go see it tomorrow.
I watched The Bike Riders That sounds funny Austin Butler's hottest fuck,
So fucking hot Oh my god I watched The Fall Guy Emily Blunt's so fucking hot,
I fucking love Emily Blunt She
(49:12):
might be my new Hollywood crush She was my Hollywood crush For one movie.
Wiley's got a crush On Emily Blunt
Then I watched Civil War Kaylee Spanney's my new crush then obviously i watched
trolls band together i was with my niece i was like hey you like trolls she
and she did she did in fact like the trolls yeah i believe it she had never
(49:34):
seen it she's like twos that's right really hell yeah let's go watch trolls
one now and then i watched,
saw one saw two saw three saw
four saw five saw six the princess
diaries saw seven you just threw
the princess diaries i also spun on the wheel and
hathaway the princess that's sick as fuck on the wheel i spun the
(49:54):
princess diaries and saw which is a very funny yin
yang yeah there is some horror in
that then saw seven yeah jigsaw then i watched crazy rich asians this was friday
yeah furiosa sick i heard it was it's sick it's unbelievable it's like a better
version of borderlands it's just like it's equivalent to mad max fury road which is,
(50:19):
And Anya Taylor-Joy is so fucking hot That too Then I watched the Awkwafina movie,
And then today I watched Spiral I have a fucking take that's gonna get people
mad I turned Borat off Which one? I've never seen it.
I tried watching it today for the first time. You know what it's like?
What was the movie that you had never seen? Was it Step Brothers?
(50:40):
I've seen Step Brothers. What was the one that you missed the...
Oh, Anchorman. It's like Anchorman. I had seen Anchorman. No,
but you didn't... I was late, but this was before I became a movie guy.
But yes, I was late to Anchorman.
But I'm saying, in the same way that you missed Anchorman, you missed the absolute
fucking media storm that surrounded...
...that when it came out.
(51:01):
The wah-wah-wee-wah. Sure. and i know all the my sister is number four prostitute
in all of kazakhstan sure.
There are some very quotable lines for sure i couldn't
it was i couldn't make it through hey can i tell you yeah borat
2 subsequent movie film also sucks i'm
(51:23):
not a fan of the i've seen both of them but i'm not they
have that's a good title but borat 2
subsequent movie film is a good title um not
better it's the same it's just the same movie okay okay
noted it sucks yeah i turned it off gave
it two stars i think people are gonna get mad at that
but i don't care i can't hate on that it's not a good
(51:46):
movie i don't care and then i watched the peanut butter falcon
have you seen the grand budapest hotel brother wes
anderson's my favorite director no i know no i didn't know that but i have his
whole collection in the dvd shelf i'll show you right after this I mean like
the not the remake but like the newer yes Wes Anderson it's not a remake it's
(52:06):
just what am I thinking of there's an old one that's similar anyways,
yeah yes it's a great film Ralph's the man that guy's Voldemort did you know
that I didn't the main guy is Voldemort I've never seen the actor without the fucking,
cue ball ass looking you have I guess I had Have you seen the menu?
(52:33):
Wait. That's also Voldemort.
Oh, shit.
Cheeseburger to go, please. Yeah, the chef is Voldemort. That's crazy. Yeah.
He's also the guy from the Grand Budapest Hotel. Neither of us can say that
movie title. Grand Budapest.
We're in Budapest Hotel. Where am I going to keep all my luggage?
(52:55):
What else is he in that's going to piss you off? Can I tell you?
He doesn't look the same in any of those movies. Yeah, he does.
He looks more like himself in Grand Budapest Hotel.
He looks like himself in the menu in Grand Budapest Hotel.
He's also, I think, Hitler in Schindler's List.
I don't think I've seen Schindler's List, but...
(53:18):
Oh, no, he's Amon Goth. I don't know who that is. He's like the main character
in Schindler's List, though.
What do you mean Schindler is the main character? He's the third main character.
You know that after all that, Schindler's life fell apart? No,
I didn't. Yeah, it's really sad, actually. Oh, okay.
(53:39):
Yeah, that's about it. He's in most of the... Harry Potter's? No.
Well, yes, that too. He's in exactly four Harry Potter movies. Wait, really? Yeah.
But he's in Daniel Craig's. He's in four of the Daniel Craig James Bonds.
As who? Bad guy number... Mallory? Is that a... That's a female's name. Sorry, Gareth Mallory.
(54:05):
I don't remember who Mallory... Gareth? I don't remember who Mallory is.
That's okay. That is okay. You have a story?
No, I had a second one, but I forgot. oh
i was 30 minutes late to work yesterday it's not really much of
a story but what happened i thought
i just slept through my alarm happens yeah i almost
(54:26):
told that as the opening intro story i was like that's not that exciting
but to touch back on shabbat shalom
has thrown up thrown up like the the
gang signs and then saying as a bus
of jewish children are leaving the state going
shabbat shalom the kid
who said that at my work is one of the funniest fucking people on the
(54:49):
planet i swear to god but anyways thanks for listening guys to your fourth favorite
host on the east coast number one hockey podcast out of the border the number
one religious equestrian podcast north of the mason dixon line the number one
just shimp podcast the number one Don't keep yelling at this podcast out of the stratosphere.
The number one wheel podcast.
(55:11):
I took the plunge and had the time of my life. I finally took the plunge.
Music.
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