Episode 28: Unleashing Your Story: A Journey from Pain to Purpose

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I'm launching a new series for aspiring authors to guide you through the messy, meaningful, and magical journey of telling your story. My own path to authorship began in a therapist's office and evolved through personal healing, publishing mishaps, and unexpected connections that transformed my book and purpose.

• Started writing from therapy journal entries that made my therapist laugh and cry
• Hit wall of imposter syndrome while writing about traumatic experiences
• Waited until after my mother passed to publish, balancing truth with compassion
• First self-published on Amazon with no professional help—and it showed
• Met a publicist on anniversary cruise who connected me with editor and publisher
• Discovered many readers related to my story, proving I wasn't alone
• Created the Plus One Theory from this journey of healing and helping others
• Advice for writers: expect imposter syndrome, be gentle with yourself, find support
• Your past doesn't define you; it prepares you for purpose

Check out the crowdfunding campaign for the Plus One Theory book at PamDwyer.com or PamDwyerspeaker.com. Even $5 or $10 helps, and there are amazing reward tiers perfect for individuals, teams, and aspiring authors.

Visit Pam Dwyer online and sign up on her email list to receive the latest updates and join her short stories that are published every Tuesday!

Go to PamDwyerSpeaker.com

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:10):
Hey friends, welcome back to the Plus One Theory
podcast.
I'm your host, pam Dwyer, andI'm so excited to launch a brand
new series with you today.
So you'll want to be an author,whether you've been secretly
writing in notebooks for yearsor someone's just told you hey,
you should write a book.

(00:31):
This series is for you.
Have you ever wondered what youneed to do to actually write a
book, to get it published?
I'm sure there's lots of otherquestions like do you you make
any money?
How much does it cost?
Is it expensive?
How do you do it?
How do you market it?
Well, we're diving into thismessy, meaningful and magical

(00:52):
part of telling your story.
As always, this show is rootedin one belief you don't have to
overhaul your life to change it.
You just take one more smallstep, one more action, one more
choice.
That's the plus one theory.
And a quick disclaimer I'm nota therapist or a mental health

(01:16):
professional.
I'm just a woman who's walkedthrough some hard stuff and I
want to help you finish strongerthan you started.
So let's get started, shall we?
My journey as an author didn'tbegin with a publishing deal or
a plan.
It started in a therapist'soffice.
Every week I'd bring journalentries, raw and filtered

(01:41):
emotional pages, and mytherapist would read them, of
course.
But they would either laugh orcry, or sometimes both, and she
would always say Pam, you needto write a book, girl.
At first I thought, who me?
But the idea stuck.
I started writing down theexperiences that created the

(02:03):
brokenness I was working through, the moments that left marks.
You know the memories thatshaped my mindset.
Entry by entry, story by story,a book began to take shape.
But let me tell you, it wasn'tall inspiration and aha moments.
I hit a wall, a big one.

(02:27):
It's called imposter syndrome.
The more I wrote, the more Ithought who am I to write this?
I found myself revisiting thesame coping skills I had spent
years building with my therapist, of course, skills I thought
were rock solid, but somewherealong the way I had gotten a

(02:48):
little sloppy with them.
Old feelings of unworthinessstarted creeping in, shame
started whispering in thebackground again.
And as I wrote, I wasn't justtelling stories, I was reliving
them.
And it was hard and it broughtup a lot, not just for me but

(03:09):
for my family too.
Some of my siblings didn't wantto go back there.
They had worked hard to move onand I so get that.
I'll confess something here Iwaited until my mama passed to
publish this book.
I took care of her the last tenyears of her life.

(03:29):
We had come so far.
We found forgiveness, we foundpeace.
I didn't want to risk hurtingher or ruining all that work we
did together.
She never fully realized howher choices, like the neglect or
the lack of structure or justbeing there for us, created
patterns.

(03:49):
I had spent years unlearning,but I had forgiven her and I
still had to face it all inorder to heal.
Though now, just because I had apowerful story, it doesn't mean
I knew how to publish one.
I uploaded that first versionto Amazon like I was a true
author, a publisher.

(04:10):
I mean no editor, no coverdesigner, no clue what I was
doing, and let's just say itwasn't great.
My friends and family were sokind.
They were excited for me, butthey didn't say anything.
But I knew I could feel it andI could read it.
But then Tim and I went on our30th anniversary vacation, which

(04:36):
we'd always planned to go, on acruise to Spain of all places.
I met a publicist on that shipand we ran into one another.
She introduced me to an editorand a publisher who I still work
with today.
They helped me reshape From thePiney Woods into a book that I
was proud of instead ofembarrassed about.

(04:58):
And then something happened,something unexpected.
People started reaching out.
They saw themselves in my story.
They saw their own pain, theirown survival, their own hope.
And that's when I realized thatI wasn't one of few that grew
up like that.
I was one of many.
I wasn't alone.

(05:20):
I wasn't the only one sufferingthrough shame and silence and
suddenly I wanted to help allthe people out there.
I wanted everyone to find theirvoice and feel seen.
That's when the plus one theorywas born.
It was a natural next step.
I had lived it.

(05:41):
Now I wanted to teach it, toshare it.
I always say your past doesn'tdefine you, it prepares you.
That's the mantra of my book.
And now I had the proof.
I started creating not juststories but systems, tools to
help people take that next rightstep.

(06:02):
And now that's the foundationof my next book, the Plus One
Theory.
If you are thinking aboutwriting your story, here's what
I'll say.
You'll feel imposter syndrome,it's normal.
Write anyway.
You'll uncover pain, but begentle with yourself.
You might stir up emotions inothers, and that's not your

(06:25):
responsibility.
Your responsibility is to tellthe truth with love.
I mean, it's how you saw thingshappening and it's not always
the same as what someone elsesees.
But our lived experiences areour own lived experiences and
you will need support.
Find your circle, find peoplewho get it.

(06:48):
So if you've got a storystirring in your heart and your
soul, listen to it.
Let this be your plus onemoment, the first small step
that leads to a bigger shift.
Because, folks, we all gothrough struggles.
We all have pain in our paststruggles.
We all have pain in our past,but let's use it right.

(07:10):
Let's use it for fuel, let'suse it for purpose, to make a
wonderful, positive impact inthis world.
Make it worth it.
If you'd like to support thePlus One Theory book, check out
the crowdfunding campaign onPamDwyercom or PamDwyerpeakercom
.
There's links on both of those.
Even $5 or $10 helps and thereare some amazing reward tiers,

(07:36):
perfect for individuals, teamsand yes, aspiring authors.
Next week, we'll dive into whatI wish I'd known before
publishing my first book andsome hard-e, hard earned tips
for anyone thinking abouthitting upload.
Until then, remember you're notbroken, you're becoming, and

(07:57):
your story matters.
It always has.