Episode 33: When You're Doing Everything Right and Nothing's Working Yet

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After a year of pursuing my dream with seemingly no traction, I've discovered I'm not broken but simply navigating the difficult middle phase of success. This episode reveals the truth about what happens between starting a dream and achieving breakthrough – that messy, confusing middle where real growth happens unseen.

• Enrolled in a speaker academy and invested in my dream without proof it would pay off
• Published my first book but learned that good content requires equally good marketing
• Launched a crowdfunding campaign for my second book that didn't reach its goal
• Started this podcast as a way to speak even when no one was inviting me to stages
• Returned to storytelling and finally began building a responsive community
• Received an unexpected LinkedIn message from a marketing agency that saw potential in what I was building
• Integrated my existing philosophy into a cohesive brand called "Delay the Binge"
• Learned that changing direction doesn't mean starting over but refining what works

Right now, I'm looking for one brave soul to join my Delay the Binge program for free coaching in exchange for recording the experience. If that's you, fill out the form here in the show notes. Your transformation may not feel inspiring yet because you're still in it – the middle isn't where you break, it's where you build.

Visit Pam Dwyer online and sign up on her email list to receive the latest updates and join her short stories that are published every Tuesday!

Go to PamDwyerSpeaker.com

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:10):
Welcome back to the Plus One Theory podcast.
I'm your host, pam Dwyer, andlet me tell you the truth.
I've spent the past year givingeverything I had to a dream I
thought would take off.
Giving everything I had to adream I thought would take off.
I joined programs, published abook, launched a podcast,

(00:31):
started a crowdfunding campaignand still no traction.
I thought something was wrongwith me, but here's what I
learned I'm not broken, I'm justin the middle.
This is the story of howeverything I tried finally led

(00:54):
to the breakthrough I didn't seecoming.
Delay the binge.
If you've been pushing forwardand wondering why it still feels
so difficult, this episode isfor you.
On today's show, I'm going totell you what no one says loud
enough If it feels difficult,you're probably doing it right.

(01:17):
I want to walk you throughsomething most people never
share, not until they've alreadymade it, because, let's be
honest, it's easier to tell thestory after the victory, when
the followers are growing, theoffers are rolling in and the
platform is built.
But what about the middle?

(01:39):
The messy, confusing, the messy, confusing.
What am I even doing?
Middle, that's where I've been,and if you're there too, you're
going to feel this one deep inyour bones.
When I first decided to pursuemotivational speaking, I felt
this surge of purpose, like,finally, this is it, this is

(02:05):
what I'm meant to do.
But purpose without structureis just a beautiful mess.
So I enrolled in the SpeakerLab.
It's a six-month academy tolearn how to do this
professionally.
It was a difficult investment,not just financially but
mentally, because it meant I wascommitting, putting real money

(02:28):
on something I couldn'tguarantee and that, right there,
that's the first sign.
You're in the middle, the messymiddle.
You're investing in somethingthat hasn't paid off yet.
You're doing the work withoutproof.
It's working.
Of course, I had already beenselling my first book from the

(02:50):
Piney Woods.
I went to markets, I set up mytable, talked to people face to
face, signed their books and,I'll be honest, I thought sales
would be better.
I mean, this was a piece of myheart, my story, my truth.
But the reality it's not enoughto write a good book, you have

(03:13):
to market a good book.
And that's when I discoveredthe Novel Marketing Podcast.
I started seeing the gaps in mystrategy, in my thinking, in my
confidence, and I started tounderstand Success is built by
skill, not just a spark.

(03:35):
So I decided book number two,the plus one theory, would be
different this time.
I wanted to do it right.
I launched a crowdfundingcampaign, put myself out there
and shared the vision.
And then, crickets I raised alittle, but nowhere near what I
needed to publish.

(03:55):
And that hurt, that stung alittle, not because I felt
entitled to the money, butbecause I started to question if
people really wanted to hearwhat I had to say.
I mean, it's just like a bookright, the writer thinks it's
the most amazing book in theworld, but it's really not

(04:17):
everybody's bag, it's noteverybody's kind of book, and
you just have to accept and findthe people that love your book.
But still I kept going.
I started this podcast.
The Plus One Theory podcast wasmy way of speaking, even when no
one was inviting me to speak.
I thought if I can get thisright, someone out there will

(04:42):
hear me and hire me and finallyit will happen.
I can speak on a stage and getpaid to do it.
But oh my goodness, recording,editing, writing intros, making
graphics, posting, promoting man.
Podcasting is a job.

(05:03):
It's a bigger job than I everthought it would be and it's one
that pays in patience, notpaychecks.
So I tried something different.
I went back to the roots of whyI even started writing in the
first place to tell stories.
I am a storyteller.
Just ask my grandkids, they'lltell you.

(05:25):
Every Tuesday I started postingshort stories as PJ Hamilton,
stories from the heart of thepiney woods.
These were my memories ofgrowing up.
You know what it was likegrowing up, every single detail
I could remember.
I wrote in a story a shortstory, because no one wants to

(05:47):
read long ones, and that wasfine with me, because it's fun
telling these stories.
So finally, people responded,not thousands, but enough to
know that my voice stillmattered.
My voice still mattered.
I used Beehive to collectemails, built a landing page

(06:09):
using kitcom, started thinkingin terms of community instead of
clicks, and it felt good.
But then I hit a wall my husband, who has been my biggest
supporter.
We sat down and looked at thenumbers no paid speaking gigs,

(06:32):
no revenue, but number two onhold.
My business was down to threeclients and I didn't know how
much longer they would stay.
So I started to doubteverything.
Not my purpose, but my path.
I had to pay the bills somehowand I wasn't bringing in.

(06:55):
Even with my company, tpkkConcepts, it still, it wasn't
thriving, it wasn't growing, itwas stagnant.
And so I tried another type oftraining and it wasn't quite
what I needed.
But I hung in there because Ihad paid money.
I pulled what I could and keptasking what's the plus one here?

(07:16):
You know practicing what Icould and kept asking what's the
plus one here?
You know practicing what Ipreach.
And then, out of nowhere, I gota message on LinkedIn.
Guess what LinkedIn is?
I never really was a fan of it,but, man, I met I've met a lot
of great people on LinkedIn.
It's great for networking, butbe careful, because there's

(07:38):
other people out there that wantto take advantage of your
situation and try to sell youstuff you don't need.
So just be smart about being onLinkedIn and weed out the good
ones Out of nowhere.
On LinkedIn, a marketing agencythat had some pretty big name
clients and bigger insight hadseen my posts, my podcast, my

(08:01):
books, my story, and they saidwe see what you're building, let
us help you refine it.
They didn't ask me to startover, they asked me to integrate
.
Integrate the plus one theoryand my mantra your past doesn't
define you, it prepares you.

(08:21):
Finish stronger than youstarted.
Even my slogan of my oldbusiness inspire, motivate,
educate.
These weren't just taglinesanymore, they were tools, and
together we created a brand thatembodies them all.
Delay the binge Not just aboutfood, but about compulsions,

(08:45):
emotional habits, the urge toescape and numb out, and the
power to pause and choosesomething better.
I won't lie changing my brandhas been difficult.
I've had to let go of so manyideas about how I thought this

(09:07):
was supposed to work.
But I'm learning, I'm listeningand I'm still here.
So I am teachable and I amcoachable.
So if you are, too, and ifyou're still showing up after a
year of questions, after a monthof silence, after a week of

(09:28):
doubt, you are stronger than youthink.
And this is where you come in.
Every like, every share, everysubscribe, every email sign up.
It helps me stay lit when thefire starts to fade.
I want to keep making theseepisodes, telling these stories,

(09:51):
showing up for you, but I needyou to know your support isn't
just appreciated, it's essential, and if you believe in this
message, I'm asking for yourhelp, your help to share it,
subscribe, tell a friend and, ifyou haven't already, join my
email list, because thiscommunity is how we grow

(10:14):
together.
This community is how we growtogether.
So just go toPamDwyerSpeakercom and sign up
Now.
Right now, I am looking for onebrave soul.
I'm offering a free coachingspot in the Delay the Binge
program in exchange for lettingme record the experience so I

(10:35):
can learn from it and serveothers even better.
If that's you or someone youknow, fill out the form in the
show notes.
Your transformation may notfeel inspiring yet, but that's
because you're still in it.
The middle isn't where youbreak, it's where you build.

(10:56):
You don't have to fixeverything today, you just have
to delay it long enough toremember who you are.
That's how you break the cycle.
That's how you finish strongerthan you started.
One delay at a time.
Oh, and a quick disclaimer.
This episode contains personalexperiences related to trauma,

(11:18):
emotional eating and a quickdisclaimer this episode contains
personal experiences related totrauma, emotional eating and
financial struggle.
And I am not a medicalprofessional or a therapist.
So, listener, discretion isadvised and please take care of
yourself as you listen.
All right, I'm really leavingnow.
Y'all have a great week.