Episode 43: Teenagers, Mud Huts, and the Power of a Purposeful Pause

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What if the most powerful change in your life starts with a breath-long pause and a single, small step? We take you from a chaotic church gym to a gritty training village where teenagers haul water, cook over smoky fires, and learn why a clay stove can save a life. The stories are vivid—two days in a simulated slum, cardboard walls shaking under the fists of “slumlords,” kids who miss Taco Bell but gain gratitude—and the insights are practical: perspective is not a lecture; it’s an interruption. That interruption is the purposeful pause.

I open up about losing my first business, stumbling into youth ministry with more heart than credentials, and discovering that teaching while still healing can forge unbreakable bonds. We revisit my childhood hunger and the teachers who stayed silent when I announced I was leaving school. Those were missed pauses that could have changed my path. Today, we name that pattern and flip it: be the pause for someone else, and claim it for yourself when urges or overwhelm hit. The pause is not empty—it’s a tool that restores choice.

You’ll walk away with a clear, humane framework for real progress: pause to notice, then add one plus-one step. Drink water before the craving wins. Send one text you’re avoiding. Take one lap when you want to quit. Make one healthy choice and stack it tomorrow. Progress compounds when you honor small steps and remember you’re not starting over—you’re carrying forward everything you’ve built. If teenagers can return grateful for cafeteria food and clean water, we can leave this moment grateful for the space to choose again. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs a gentle nudge, and leave a review telling us your next “plus one.”

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hey friends, I'm Pam Dwyer, your host for the Plus
One Theory Podcast.
This is the place where we talkabout finishing stronger than
you started, about smallintentional steps, and about
remembering that your pastdoesn't define you, it prepares
you.

(00:20):
Last time I left you with thisidea, the purposeful pause.
Plus one more.
Today I want to tell you a storythat shows just how powerful
that pause and that one extrastep can really be.
And yes, it involves teenagers,mud huts, and more smoke than a

(00:42):
Texas barbecue.
Now let me be honest with you.
I became a youth minister theway most people end up with a
stray cat.
Somebody suggested it, and thenext thing I knew, it was in my
lap and I was responsible.
A friend at church said, You'dbe great at it, Pam.

(01:03):
You should apply.
And suddenly I was sitting in aninterview armed with CEO
credentials, but no clue how tocorral teenagers in a youth
group.
They hired me anyway,desperation, I'm sure.
But I threw myself in with everybit of creativity I had.

(01:24):
We hosted candlelit Valentine'sdinners in the church gym,
complete with youth in theirties and aprons.
We brought in retired teachersfor homework help.
And the tire shop taught kidshow to change a flat.
And then we also had somebankers in the church, and they

(01:44):
took the time to explain how tobalance a checkbook, which
honestly confused the kids morethan algebra.
One even asked me, can't we justVenmo Jesus, Miss Pam?
I have a lot of other reallyfunny one-liners from my youth
ministry days.
Now I need to pause here andgive you a real backstory.

(02:09):
I had just lost my business, myvery first one, and it was
painful.
Very painful.
There was a lot of betrayal,some hard, hard lessons, and
broken trust.
That's another story for anotherday.
But what you need to know isthat I was in a season where I

(02:33):
felt like my whole life hadfallen apart.
My faith journey was strong, butI was fresh off the broken
truck, so to speak.
And suddenly I was in youthministry teaching lessons I was
really learning myself.
I lost myself in that beautifulchaos of teenagers.

(02:55):
Don't get me wrong, I believe Itaught them things they still
carry today, all centered aroundJesus.
My knowledge of Scripture wasweak back then, but learning
alongside those kids made ourbond even stronger.
And over time, as I grew andhealed, I gained the training

(03:16):
and the credentials I needed.
So yes, I'm qualified today, butback then I was just a broken
woman leaning on Jesus Christ,teaching kids the very lessons I
needed to learn myself.
And then came my big idea.
We went on mission trips, and wewould fundraise and raise money

(03:40):
to go on these trips.
Well, this is the one thattopped them all.
It was a mission trip to CFAT,which is servants in faith and
technology.
This wasn't your average youthmission trip.
Forget the s'mores, forgetdodgeball.

(04:00):
This was let's live like we'rein a third world village and
hope we make it back alive.
The youth hauled water from theriver and walked miles to get
back to camp and learned how tofilter it with sand and
charcoal.
They cooked over smoky firesuntil they discovered clay
stoves that cut the smoke andsaved lives.

(04:23):
They saw how a simple water pumpcould spare families miles of
walking.
And then came the grand finale.
Are you ready?
Two days in a simulated slum.
Building huts, they had to buildtheir homes with cardboard boxes
and any wood they could find,bartering for food and working,

(04:47):
trying to make enough money tobuy water, and trying to survive
the night with slum lordsbanging on their doors.
By day two, the youth whonormally couldn't survive
missing a taco bell run werebegging me for food and water.
Miss Pam, please, we're starvingor we're so thirsty, help us.

(05:11):
I just smiled sweetly andthought, welcome to my childhood
kids.
But here's what stuck with meand with them.
That trip wasn't about survivalskills.
It was about perspective.
A pause, one uncomfortable,inconvenient pause in their

(05:33):
normal, comfortable lives.
And in that pause, they learnedsomething powerful gratitude,
awareness, compassion.
And it hit me.
We need those pauses not just infaraway places, but right in our
own backyards.

(05:53):
I grew up poor.
I remember going to theneighbors' houses and saying,
Our mama's baking a cake, andshe didn't have enough eggs.
Can we borrow two eggs?
And then we'd go to the nextneighbor's house with a
measuring cup and give the samestory.
We'd say, Our mama's baking acake and she doesn't have enough

(06:16):
milk.
Can we borrow a cup of milk?
And we'd get the milk.
And we'd have something to eatfor the day.
Now this went on time aftertime.
So it wasn't they weren'tsuspicious once or twice, but
every single day, come on, whydidn't anyone stop and say,

(06:37):
Sweetheart, are you okay?
Do you have food at home?
And then there was the day Iquit high school.
I told my teachers flat out, I'mleaving to run off with a boy to
Florida.
Do you know what they said?
Nothing.
There's that silence we'vetalked about.
Not one word.

(06:58):
Like, have you thought thisthrough, Pam?
You have so much potential.
It's going to be hard if youquit, sweetheart.
Nope, none of that.
It was silence.
Missed pauses, missedopportunities to take one small
step that could have changedeverything for me.

(07:18):
And friends, I think we're stillmissing those pauses.
We see a coworker burning out ora neighbor struggling, a
teenager that's withdrawing.
And instead of pausing andstepping in, we stay quiet, we
stay busy, we stay in our lane.
But maybe we are the pausesomeone else needs.

(07:42):
That's the heartbeat of the plusone theory.
And it's the secret behind delaythe binge too.
When the urge comes, whetherit's food overworking, over
pleasing, or just running fromdiscomfort, the pause changes
everything.
One pause, one breath, one morestep and a better direction.

(08:06):
And here's the secret.
Real progress doesn't come fromgiant leaps.
It's the small intentional stepsthat add up over time.
One more push, one more lap, onemore phone call, one more
healthy choice.
That's the plus one theory.
Every step, no matter how small,stacks up and builds the

(08:31):
strength, resilience, andresults you're looking for.
You're not starting over.
You're carrying forwardeverything you've already built.
And that's why I call it thepurposeful pause.
Plus one more.
So the next time life feels hardor hunger shows up, the kind in

(08:53):
your stomach or the kind in yoursoul, remember this.
The pause isn't empty, it'spowerful.
It's where transformationstarts.
If a group of teenagers can walkaway grateful for clean water
and cafeteria food, maybe youand I can walk away grateful for

(09:17):
the pause.
And strong enough to take thatplus one more.
Thanks for spending this timewith me today on the Plus One
Theory Podcast.
Remember, your past doesn'tdefine you, it prepares you.
And no matter where you are onthe climb, you don't have to

(09:38):
start over.
You can begin right where youleft off and finish stronger.
And when the hard moments come,and they will, remember this.
Pause.
Then take one more step becausethere's always room for a little
more.
That's the heart of the plus onetheory.

(10:01):
I'll see you next time.
Thanks for listening.