#27 Who...But How? with Co-Host Jesse Reed

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, what's going on everybody?
Welcome to the PossibilityMindset Podcast.
I'm Devin Henderson, I am yourhost and I believe that
something greater is alwayspossible for you.
And today, ladies and gentlemen, we have something new
happening.
We have a co-host with us today.

Speaker 2 (00:24):
Sidekick, sidekick, I'm the Andy Richthost with us
today.
Sidekick, sidekick, I'm theAndy Richter to your Conan
O'Brien, you're my wingman.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
There we go.
What's Iceman say?
He's like, you can be mywingman anytime.

Speaker 2 (00:34):
Yeah, and.
Maverick says no you can be,you can be mine.
Right, right, I'll be thewingman.
I'm comfortable with that, justfor today.

Speaker 1 (00:42):
Many of you remember Jesse from when he was actually
a guest on the podcast.
One of my first guests, likeCommander Jesse Reed, us Navy,
retired and also was in the TopGun school.
But today he's acting as mywingman and that's an honor to
me that you would put yourselfinto that position for me today.
I got your back.
I appreciate that, man.

(01:02):
Well, cool, well, this issomething new.
I kept I've done a lot of solocasts, as many of you listeners
know and it's just I thought,hey, man, you know, jesse and I
we got.
We got.
We're friends, we're from likemiddle school, we're still close
.
And so I thought let's just trythis man, my mind is just going

(01:23):
blank.
Let's just try this man, mymind is just going blank.
Let's just try this co-hostthing.
All right, man, let's move onfrom that.
That was good, but thanks forbeing here, man.

Speaker 2 (01:31):
I appreciate it.
Yeah, it's good to be here, man.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
So I think today I told Jesse I was like I got some
ideas where some things mightgo, but we'll see.
We'll see what comes out,because when you start talking
with a friend, anything ispossible, yes, or what else is
possible, right.
So we'll get there.
But I do want to, by the way,have Jesse back at some point
for part two as a guest again tohear more of your story.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
Sound good, absolutely yeah, I'm looking
forward to it.

Speaker 1 (02:01):
Okay, perfect, man, perfect, okay, cool.
Well, before we jump into someof the fun topics for today, let
me tell you about Xero Shoes.
My goodness, game changer Gotthem on right now.
They're all I wear.
If you go to xeroshoescom,slash, go, slash, Devin.
You can see what I'm talkingabout.
Walking barefoot is the way togo.
Is this the product I pitchedlast time you were on?

Speaker 2 (02:19):
No, it was the water and I actually checked it out
afterwards and I typed in CodeDevin Cool, thank you yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:26):
Thank you to the people who have.
There's a lot of listeners whohave bought into the mud, water
and zero shoes.
Yeah, and there goes my voice.

Speaker 2 (02:35):
I did three.
We just hate folks, we just hadomelets yes, we just hate.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
And then I did a thing for the city of Lenexa,
kansas, the other day for theirParks and Rec people, and I did
three keynotes in one day.
So even with the microphone,that still starts to affect your
voice, yeah.
So anyway, barefoot shoes Xeroshoes are awesome.
They have a flexible sole, awide toe box, a zero level drop
in the shoe so that it really, Imean, you're simulating

(03:01):
barefoot walking so that you canwork all the muscles, get the
range of motion that you'resupposed to when you walk, and
it's really, I feel like moreankle and knee strength than
I've ever had in my life, really.
Yeah, I got to try it out.
I got wide feet.
Well, you know, and that's thegreat thing about the wide toe
box is because our toes we wearthese shoes that just like cramp

(03:21):
our toes and then people getbunions and have all kinds of
issues and they need surgeryjust because they didn't let the
toes lay out Two surgeries.

Speaker 2 (03:28):
On my right foot Is that right?

Speaker 1 (03:30):
Yeah, all right.
Last night our kids had to goto dance and we had forgotten
that it was dance night and mywife and I were on a walk, so we
were at the park, which isabout a 10-minute walk to home,
but they needed to leave rightthen, so I was like I got this,
so I just took off running.

(03:50):
And you know, in my age, youknow mid-40s you're like what's
and I'm running through clumpygrass and jumping off curbs, but
I honestly, I owe it a lot tojust walking in these barefoot
style shoes.
I just feel like I'm moreconnected to the ground and
you're not going to roll yourankles easily because your foot
is like at ground level ratherthan like so I just had all
kinds of confidence running.
This is a legit testimonial tothese shoes.

(04:13):
I wear them all the time.
So check it out.
Zeroshuescom.
Slash, go, slash, devin.
There, it is All right.
There it is.
That's the update.
So, jesse, I don't know ifyou've ever listened to any of
my solo casts.

Speaker 2 (04:26):
Yes, I have.

Speaker 1 (04:27):
Okay, good, all right .
So you're familiar with thesegmentation.
I've got certain things I liketo talk about.

Speaker 2 (04:33):
Can I tell you my favorite segment, please?
It's where you say stuff thatyour daughters say.

Speaker 1 (04:36):
That's one of my favorites.
You know, girl Talk has always,because we both have nothing
but daughters at home, right.
Yeah, that daughters at home,that's.
Yeah, that's right, that'sright.
We're girl dads, yeah, we aregirl dads all the way through
and through and it honestly,that girl talk thing has always
been the biggest hit, whether itwas like um, in my newsletters,
in my speeches, in my comedy orin the podcast like.
It's like when we put put onsocial media too, they get the

(04:57):
biggest hits.
Yeah, because people just lovethings.
That little girls say, yeah,it's the best um so and it
changes over time.
Yeah, you know, it's like cuteand funny, but then when they
get older it's just likesometimes it's like this wisdom
that comes out of them yeah,it's like man it's just
mind-blowing.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely, so,anyway, so so jesse's gonna get
it chime, in on anything hewants to today.

(05:19):
So watch out, you know he's.
He's a wise, funny, awesomedude.
So so get ready, um, ready.
But here's my big announcement.
This is my update, and then Iwant any updates from you also.
I'm writing a book, all right.

Speaker 2 (05:35):
I'm writing a book.

Speaker 1 (05:37):
I got no eyebrow raises from Zach or Jesse.

Speaker 2 (05:39):
Well, I already knew this.
I already knew this, yeah.

Speaker 1 (05:44):
So you may remember Will Severn's, that was on the
podcast with Streamline Books,and so they basically help you
write your book.
They assign you an editor.
Some people like to call it aghostwriter.

Speaker 2 (05:56):
Okay, that was my next question, because I heard
you mention ghostwriter.
I thought that sounds spooky.
What is that?
Yeah, what is a?

Speaker 1 (06:02):
ghostwriter.
Right, I told them they need at-shirt that says I ain't afraid
of no ghostwriter but aghostwriter yeah, the way that
that works.
I mean, they're writing yourthoughts but they interview with
you extensively about what'sthe premise of the book, what's
the chapter breakdown going tobe, what stories, what lessons
are you going to put in there?
And then, with my ghostwritershe has watched endless footage

(06:24):
of me on stage to know, like,what things do I speak about?
Because my book is basicallygoing to be an extension of my
keynote, so we're pretty surewe're going to call it.
Something Greater Is AlwaysPossible and it's going to have
that whole, you know thepossibility mindset always give
thanks, pause, pivot, pull, allthese things that I talk about
in my keynote, but just moreexamples, more stories and then

(06:44):
even more sort of like takeaways, lessons that I don't have time
for in a 60-minute keynote.

Speaker 2 (06:50):
Yeah, interesting, so yeah.
And what people decide to gowith ghostwriters and like what
kind of determines which pathyou go?
Obviously a novelist wouldn'tdo that, right, that's their own
pure imagination on paper.

Speaker 1 (07:02):
Yes, well, I'll tell you what determined it for me I
would never write a book if Ididn't have a ghostwriter.

Speaker 2 (07:06):
Yeah, you don't have the time, you're a busy guy.

Speaker 1 (07:09):
It's so time consuming.
It's even time consuming whenyou have a ghostwriter because
you still have to, like, deliverme on stage.
So for me it really came downto it's a bigger investment up

(07:31):
front financially to havesomeone provide that service.
But in the long run it's likesomeone's writing the book for
you and then it's cool becauseI've looked at some of the stuff
she's written and it's like inmy voice it's the way that I
would write it.
So it feels kind of like AI,but an actual person.

Speaker 2 (07:50):
It's like whoa this person is capturing.

Speaker 1 (07:51):
There's not random facts made up in there, no
they're capturing the essence ofwhat I and I always kind of
thought of it as like is thatcheating, but it's like well,
it's your intellectual propertyand the more people you can help
you do the things that someoneelse can do, the better, which
is actually, by the way, funnythat you bring that ghostwriter
question up.
I'm thinking about the maintopic of this podcast today

(08:12):
being revolving around that bookby Dan Sullivan and Dr Benjamin
Hardy, who, not how Are youfamiliar with this concept?

Speaker 2 (08:20):
I'm actually not no, okay, okay.

Speaker 1 (08:21):
So if that is what this ends up being about, so the
ghostwriter?

Speaker 2 (08:26):
Stay tuned, folks.
Yeah, stay tuned.
We don't even know yet.

Speaker 1 (08:28):
Like 15 minutes from now, I hate to lock us into
something because, let's say,something opens up and then it's
like I like to be free form alittle bit and just say what
else is possible?
This is my idea.
But what else is possible?
People Possibility mindset.
So anyway, we as possible,people possibility mindset, um.
So anyway, we'll see whathappens with that.
But for me the ghost riderthing came down to um, it saved

(08:48):
me time, yeah, and saved me whatwere you gonna say about that
book, the who?

Speaker 2 (08:51):
I cut you off the who , not how.

Speaker 1 (08:53):
Okay yeah, well, that's, that's something that
we'll get to.
That that's what I say for kindof like the main event section
it's like at the end, it's likethe big thing.
So sorry, I tried to jump rightto the it's dude.
It's all right, man, I'll reinyou in, I will tell you.

Speaker 2 (09:07):
That's what a good flight lead does.
Okay, just being a good leader,yeah, not a jerk.
Okay, good to know.

Speaker 1 (09:11):
Thank you, I mean if anybody knows about leadership
and you know with the whole TopGun ideals it's you.
So thanks for the thanks forthe affirmation.

Speaker 2 (09:19):
At least in an airplane, yeah that's right.

Speaker 1 (09:22):
So awesome man so writing the book.
I'm excited it should come outin like the summer, okay, and
that's the other thing is likeit gets done quicker when
someone's helping you.

Speaker 2 (09:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:29):
You know, like I don't have to wait four years
and like put it down for a while, yeah, anyway.
Okay, a couple other updatesabout me.
I've added two new tricks to mykeynote, which I'm so excited
about.
Tricks yeah, magic tricks tothe keynote, because what had
happened is I used to have toomuch magic in the keynote and I
would get feedback from peoplethat it's real magic heavy.
So over the years I was slowlytaking more and more magic out.

(09:53):
I finally took so much out thatit was like there was hardly
any in there at all.
So then some of the feedback Iwas getting was the magic trick
was cool, we want more magic.
So I was like all right we wantmore magic.

Speaker 2 (10:06):
So I was like all right, we need the goldilocks,
the goldilocks of magic here.

Speaker 1 (10:08):
That's right.
That's right.
Sweet spot yeah, exactly likewhat's that?
The pendulum has gone both ways.
Yeah, the goldilocks what is it?
Yeah, so I feel like I finallyachieved like the perfect
balance where it's like just theright amount.
And the key to me was like theway I was vetting magic tricks
was I didn't want tricks to takeup real estate in my talk, I
wanted it to be.
It was like the way I wasvetting magic tricks was I
didn't want tricks to take upreal estate in my talk.
I wanted it to be.
It was like going with the flowof the message so that it fit

(10:30):
right in and the metaphors werespot on and for sure adding to
the message.
And so finally, I have twonotes, so I have like four total
now in my keynote.

Speaker 2 (10:40):
Which just blows me away about you, man, because
having done a little bit ofspeaking now and dipping my toes
in that, and seeing how goodyou are at this and when I watch
you and footage of you doing it, and that in itself takes so
much rehearsal and practice,yeah.
And then I think about magictricks, just in a vacuum, the
amount of rehearsal and practiceit takes to make that look
seamless and not give it away,so to speak, right.

(11:01):
So I can't imagine the amountof preparation you have to do
here.
It seems intimidating to me.

Speaker 1 (11:07):
You're right.
I mean there is a lot ofpreparation and practice,
because the two new tricks areactually two new tricks to me
pretty much.
I had kind of played with someof the concepts before, but it
wasn't like, oh, old tricks fromyou know, I used to and I'd
just bring them in.
I did have to.
In fact, I collaborated with myfriend Todd Lemanski, because

(11:29):
he's like, has more of anextensive knowledge of magic
than I do.

Speaker 2 (11:33):
I think I've seen him on the news or something, right
?
Oh, he's been on the news.

Speaker 1 (11:36):
You interviewed him too, yeah, he's been on the news
and he it's always.
I kind of I've been calling himmy magic consultant recently
because he definitely had a lotof input on these two new tricks
or illusions that I've added in.
So it's it kind of feels likemy updated version of my keynote
2024, just like that's exciting.

Speaker 2 (11:54):
Yeah, obviously you're not going to talk about
the tricks now.
Right, you got to come see devand speak I guess.

Speaker 1 (11:59):
So, yeah, I gotta go buy tickets, you know?
No, yeah, I'll give you a hint.
One has to do with like aprediction that I mail to the
event planner like weeks aheadof time and then it comes true
in the deal, and it's about avision about a seemingly
impossible goal, and it's really, really fun and um, people are,
like you know, focusing on thattrick afterwards like how did
that work?

(12:19):
and it's like trumping the othertrick that I had in the keynote
already.
So I'm like wow, we matched it,um, in quality and in impact.
Um, but it even relates more tothe message than that other
trick did so do you test theselike on your family before you?

Speaker 2 (12:32):
take it take it live.
Oh for sure, sure I um.
And are they like wow, are theyjust like all right, whatever,
dad it's a mix.

Speaker 1 (12:38):
It's a mix because when you do it oh, I did it for
my um, for one of my kids,friends's friends, and it blew
her mind so much that she justslid off the couch and was just
laughing so hard Like how?
So?
That's when I knew.

Speaker 2 (12:52):
Okay, there's something here.

Speaker 1 (12:55):
That's a good reaction to get, but with my own
kids it's like they know enoughsecret behind magic that
they're kind of like okay, weknow there's something to it and
they're kind of like, well,what were you doing here?
What was happening then?
That they're kind of like, okay, we know there's something to
it.
And they're kind of like, well,what were you doing here?
What was happening then?
And so people start to pick upon things, but it gives you
enough of a gauge to know doesthis have any legs at all?
Yeah, so, anyway, man, that'smy big updates.
What about you?

Speaker 2 (13:17):
You're speaking more and more.
And how are things going withthat?
Yeah, you know I'm getting alittle more public speaking and
actually and thanks to you, bythe way, you've been very
helpful.
I know we'll meet at churchsometimes and bounce things off
each other and I'll bringwhatever crazy idea I have and
you'll kind of point me in theright direction there a little
bit more because of yourexperience and just background

(13:39):
in this.
But yeah, I've got a couplemore things lined up this year.

Speaker 1 (13:47):
I seem to be really popular with funeral directors
of all people, People in thedeath business, really want to
hear from Top Gun graduatesapparently.
Yeah, it's funny because I'vedone kind of some of the funeral
director circuit as well andwhen people would hear oh,
you're speaking for funeraldirectors, do you have to go in
all dressed in black?
No, these people like to party.
They the biggest like partycrowd I've ever seen.

Speaker 2 (14:06):
Every time I go to one of these things, they've got
a.
You know, if I can show up theday before, they've got a big
kind of setup.
I mean, the last one I did wasin salt lake city area.
Uh, it was up in park city,actually up about just about 30
minutes outside of salt lake,and I mean they had like luau
dancers and like a wholeHawaiian theme.
Everyone was wearing Hawaiianshirts and their fire breathers

(14:27):
and stuff.
I go, oh my gosh.
Yeah, I was expecting, you know, just like you said, a bunch of
kind of like undertakers, yeahyou know solemn looks on their
faces.
I think when you work in thatindustry and you realize you're
up front, up close and personalevery week with, like, the cycle
of life, in other words words,you know, like you're there
people morning, yeah, and Ithink you learn to realize it's

(14:47):
such a natural part, it'ssomething that we fear, you know
, as humans.
Like it's scary the idea oflike, oh, someday we die, right,
yeah, um, but I think whenyou're around it gives you more
of a grounded sense of of thecycle of life and I think, for
whatever reason, they don't takethemselves as seriously maybe
as some other people do.
Yeah, yeah, but great crowd ofpeople.
I'm honored that my reputation,if you want to call it that,

(15:11):
has sort of circulated, becausewhat will happen is I'll finish
up a talk and then I'll get aphone call from someone else.
Hey, I heard you spoke to XYZand group and I wonder if you
could speak to our group at ourlittle get-together.

Speaker 1 (15:22):
Sure.

Speaker 2 (15:22):
I'd love to.

Speaker 1 (15:23):
I wonder if you could speak to our group at our
little get-together.
Sure, I'd love to.
What better pat on the back isthere than to get a repeat
booking?
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Or a referral from the bookingyeah.

Speaker 2 (15:30):
And in my grown-up job, as I call it, where I work
in financial planning and run ateam here in Kansas City, that's
the ultimate compliment is whenyour team takes such good care
of somebody that then you get aphone call from someone else
that goes hey, I heard my buddy,joe Smith, works with you guys.
I want to work with you too.
I want a piece of that.

(15:51):
So yeah, so kind of along-winded update, but you know
, the speaking is going well.
I do run this team here in town.
That's kind of my grown-up job,as I call it, but that's going
fantastic.
And then folks may or may notknow this.
I think last time I talked toyou I can't remember if I was
back flying commercially, alsopart-time I don't think I was.

Speaker 1 (16:12):
Last time you were on the podcast?
Yeah, I don't think I was.
I can't remember if you hadbeen back on it yet.

Speaker 2 (16:16):
So I hadn't really talked about it a whole lot.
I'd been on disability, I'dlost my FAA medical, which, for
people who, who don't know muchabout flying just like a
driver's license.
You got to have a license fromthe FAA to be able to fly.
It's not only a license, butthen you have to have a medical
um license as well, meaning, hey, they don't want you to get up
there and you're flying anairplane and suddenly have a

(16:36):
heart attack or you're at highrisk for that Right.
So especially and especiallycommercial pilots have kind of
the most rigorous standards theyhave to go through because
you're carrying a couple hundredpeople in the back potentially
and uh.
And so I had had someorthopedic issues that were
pretty severe from my time inthe navy, uh.
So that was the mostunrealistic part of top gun
maverick.
By the way, it was like thisguy's almost pushing 60 and

(16:57):
still like in good shape and notlike volleyball not limping
around and hasn't broken somebones and it doesn't have a bad
neck.
I'm like no way, Although Iguess if you're five foot seven
maybe it's easier.
I'm six foot one, so but anyway, long story short, without
going into all the details, hadsome neck issues that have been
really bad over the years.
Just through serendipity metthe guy here in Kansas City, a

(17:18):
neurosurgeon, who basically kindof put Humpty Dumpty back
together last year and I got mymedical back.
I thought it was gone forever.
And so here I am, Got a lot ofirons in the fire and on
occasionally jump on an airplaneand go fly around for a little
while.

Speaker 1 (17:31):
So not a whole lot.
That's great.
That is a lot going on, man,there's a lot going on.
You're flying, you're helpingpeople know where to put their
money.

Speaker 2 (17:38):
Yeah.
I probably say yes to lessthings here but but for now it's
.

Speaker 1 (17:47):
It's a juggling action.
You're able to keep all, yes,all the irons in the air.

Speaker 2 (17:49):
Yes, I will always say yes to devon and devon
henderson though.

Speaker 1 (17:51):
Just so you know, that's awesome that's first
priority I'll put that on at-shirt.
Yeah, that's great, man.
Well cool, I'm glad, and thatthat is awesome, that you've
gotten into the funeraldirector's circuit and, uh,
hopefully you'll just stay thereand ride that wave through
every state.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
It's a known quantity , yeah yeah, man, that's great.

Speaker 1 (18:09):
I do have to tell you one crazy thing.
You know who Tim Hawkins is.
Zach right, okay, he's like aChristian comedian performs
mainly in churches, are youfamiliar?

Speaker 2 (18:18):
with Tim Hawkins.
The name sounds familiar, Okayyeah.

Speaker 1 (18:20):
So I've always been a big fan of Tim Hawkins.
He was one of the reasons thatI pivoted to stand-up comedy.
Like six or seven years ago.
I was like, oh, what if I justgave up speaking and gave up
magic and just started being acomedian?
How cool is that?
He was like one of the bigthings that inspired that whole
idea.
Well, anyway, I had met him justlike a couple of times at like

(18:41):
comedian conferences and I evenwent to some of his shows and
got to shake his hand, um, and Iknew that he lived um somewhere
near the st louis area, justbecause I had been following his
podcast and I'm in kansas,sydney, and I thought, oh, if I
ever go to st louis, you knowwhat if I reach out to him, and
what if he'd be willing to get acoffee with this you know um
aspiring comedian.

(19:01):
Well, I I won't say the name ofthe town, just because I you
know, but I was speaking near StLouis and I happened to know
that it was the specific citythat he lives in, because they
talk about it on the podcast andeverything.
And so I, the night before mygig, I always like to go for a
walk, so I asked the people atthe hotel where can I just go
walk, where there's just maybe awalking trail?

(19:22):
And they go, oh, go down to godown to this certain trail, and
also you can walk through theold, historic downtown of this,
of this town that we're in.
So like, cool, perfect, so I godown there.
And I was even, you know,talking to my wife on the phone.
I was like I think you know,this is like where tim hawkins
lives.
Wouldn't that be crazy to likerun into him?
and I'm thinking like not gonnahave.
Yeah, I mean, you know that'dbe like coming to shaw and
thinking I'm going to run intoZach or you know, what I mean.

(19:44):
So I'm walking down the streetand all of a sudden there's like
there he is.
There he is, tim Hawkins, andif you remind me to get the
selfie to you so that you canmaybe put it in the YouTube
video, right?

Speaker 2 (19:57):
here, just overlay it real quick.

Speaker 1 (19:59):
There he was.

Speaker 2 (20:00):
I was like.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
Tim Hawkins.
He's like yeah, I was likehawkins.

Speaker 2 (20:02):
He's like yeah, I was like devin henderson.
Did he have like a look of fearin his eyes?

Speaker 1 (20:04):
like yeah, well, yeah well, I think like since he
probably lives there, heprobably gets a lot of people
like hey timmy, you know there'slike a sign as you're driving
to town but I mean, like it wasin the back of my head that I
was like I know he lives hereand then, like there he was.
So it was like one of thosekind of like really cool moments
that I call it a God moment.
Yeah, it was like just toconnect with someone that you

(20:25):
admire, you know, and we chattedfor about 20 minutes.
Super nice guy.
Yeah, his wife was with them.
We got to chat.
They were in downtown there tomeet with one of their kids and
have dinner and it was just oneof those crazy random run-ins
you know with someone thatyou're just such a big fan of.

Speaker 2 (20:48):
And you know, with something that you're just such
a big fan of and it's likeyou're actually you know, it was
just like so, so bizarre, andjust kind of one of those like
isn't that cool when, likeyou're, the people that are like
you look up to meet yourexpectations when you yes, yes,
for sure because I've had somepeople I've met over the years
where I'm like oh, and then youmeet them, they're kind of like
not really who they are on stage.

Speaker 1 (20:59):
Yeah, totally and he was.
I even.
I even kind of fanboyed alittle bit.
I was like, hey, my favoritebit.
I'm like sorry he goes, no,it's fine.
I was like my favorite bit isthat's the worst.
I don't know if you're familiarwith that bit, but dude, isn't
that the craziest?
I mean, it would just blow yourmind to run into him, so it was
really fun, so that was a funupdate and that's the cool thing

(21:25):
.
Something I just call random,something that doesn't fit in
with anything else you know.
And this next thing at one pointI thought about possibly doing
a stand-up bit about, because Ithink people can relate to this.
So you know when you like, forexample, you get out of your car
and you're going to walk intoTarget to get something and
you're like halfway between yourcar and the doors of Target and
you you realize you forgotsomething in your car left my

(21:46):
cell phone in there so you haveto turn around and like do you
ever think, oh, I'm turningaround and now people are
watching me, like look at thatmoron turning around forgot
something and so, like I alwaysfelt like I've had to be like,
oh, like I had to do some motionrather than just stopping, and
because if you just stop andturn, it looks weird.

(22:06):
So, I feel like there should bea universal sign for, like I
forgot something, I'm going backfor it, just so you don't have
to feel weird, just so you canbe like I think you should turn
around and address everyone elsein the parking lot.

Speaker 2 (22:17):
Listen up, folks.
I forgot something.
Stop judging me.

Speaker 1 (22:29):
Yes, that's exactly what I mean.
So so the the fact that, likeI'm thinking about this says I
think, first of all, I live waytoo much in my head and care way
too much about what otherpeople think.
But are you with me at all?
Like, do you ever get thatwhere you're?

Speaker 2 (22:39):
like, oh, someone's probably watching and I'm just
stopping I've done that, like,um, I think I've done something
like that, even like walkinginto a bathroom or something.
I walk in and I'm like, youknow, I walk out and I'm like,
oh, I don't want to look likethe guy who had to go right into
the bathroom twice.
I forgot to, you know.
I left something in there orwhatever.
So I'm like, yeah, better makesure everyone exits here for a
second and then I'll walk inwhen no one's watching.

(23:08):
But somebody told me and I'msure this is so hard for me too,
man, but there's this.

Speaker 1 (23:09):
I don't know who this quote is attributed to, but
something to the effect of we'dcare less about what people
thought of us if we realized howoften they didn't think about
us or how little they did thinkabout us.
Yeah Right, yeah man.
But I think what made merealize that is that one time I
was, you know, walking and thenI realized I had to be like, oh
yeah, like I had to likeacknowledge to other people that

(23:30):
, oh yeah, I forgot, you know,like I had to do something.
I can't just like stop and turnand go back.

Speaker 2 (23:34):
um, so anyway, all right I kind of want to like see
this happen though, like if Isee you going into a parking lot
, you don't know I'm liketrailing you.
I I'm just going to like watchDevin and go.
Man, I hope he forgetssomething I want to see him do
like his little Michael Jacksonmove and spin around.

Speaker 1 (23:50):
I just think we need some universal sign for let's
turn it around before we got toget back.

Speaker 2 (23:54):
Yeah, my universal sign is I go, god, I turn around
, but yours is natural andorganic, right.

Speaker 1 (24:05):
So mine is very much people watching me.
Yes, I'm naturally grumpy, yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess it's part
about being a performer thinkingwho's watching me, right?

Speaker 2 (24:08):
now, yeah Well, hey, that makes sense to me All right
man.

Speaker 1 (24:10):
Okay, Next segment here, Trivial Complaint.
I think you're going to be ableto relate to this one.
Okay, this is how hard it canbe to pump up the tires on your
kid's bicycle.
Have you ever not like withcheap bicycles, like we just had
what?
Eva just turned seven yesterday, so we went to get a new bike,
and they're fine when they'renew, but what happens is the

(24:31):
tire starts to rotate on the rim.
So then the little what do youcall the valve?
yeah, the valve starts to getkind of like sideways.
Yeah, um, and so then you can'tget the.
Uh, if you're watching, I'mtrying to do this with my
fingers.
You've got to like pull it outand reposition it, yeah.

Speaker 2 (24:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (24:50):
Or you've got to like slide the tire around the rim.
And then the spokes are in theway, because if it's a small
bike, I don't know, sometimesit's like nearly impossible to
inflate those tires.

Speaker 2 (24:59):
I was just trying to do this with my daughter's bike
the other day and, yeah, I thinkwhat happens is the tube, you
know.
So you got the outside part ofthe tire right tread but then
you have the tube itself thetube like gets rotated yes, in
there.
And then the only way to fix it, I think, is you got to just
deflate the whole thing, kind ofstart over but nobody wants to
do that, I know deflate it.

Speaker 1 (25:17):
We're in a hurry here .
Work that inner tube around.

Speaker 2 (25:20):
Yeah see, that's just too much work I did a lot of
road bike riding so I've got anokay road bike at home and the
tires on that are real skinnyand man changing the inner tube
on that is a commitment.

Speaker 1 (25:35):
Yeah, to get that valve positioned perfectly
through that hole.

Speaker 2 (25:38):
Yeah, I'm just going to take it to the Zach of bike
bicycles and just say can youjust please do this for me?

Speaker 1 (25:45):
Speaking of the Zach of bicycles, when you walked in
today and saw this setup, youwere like whoa.

Speaker 2 (25:49):
This was unbelievable .
And then I met.
You guys can't see him at home.
He's behind the camera.

Speaker 1 (25:52):
Zach, who's just amazing to walk in action.

Speaker 2 (25:55):
Watch in action here.

Speaker 1 (25:56):
Yeah, it is amazing that he's got like a big light.
That's like the size of a giantbeach ball.
It just looks cool and he justknows what he's doing.

Speaker 2 (26:07):
yeah, and I come in here and I start messing with
things like can we do this?
Can we just like jeez?

Speaker 1 (26:12):
see what I have to work with people in the anyway
well, that was a good trivialthing.
I I like you like that yeah andso, and so I I finally learned
to follow up the trivialcomplaints with an always give
thanks section.
Okay, so I look down in mynotes and I have kind of a
running list saved for futuresolo casts, like of complaints
and thanks.
And my complaint list is solong it's like which one am I

(26:35):
going to choose?

Speaker 2 (26:35):
from Welcome to Devin Henderson's curmudgeon hour.
Yeah, one day.

Speaker 1 (26:43):
Anything is possible.

Speaker 2 (26:44):
There's more possible things you could complain about
.
Someday it'll just be a fullepisode of it all.

Speaker 1 (26:49):
That's hilarious, but then I went to the always give
thanks section.
You know how many things therewere zero really yeah, which,
and I what?
it made me realize something.
Uh, it told me that when I talk, I talk because I talk about
always give thanks in my keynote.
But what I realized was I'musually, when I say always give
thanks, I don't really meanalways.

(27:10):
What I meant in the keynote waslike, when things are hard,
yeah, look to things that aregood, which is a great time to
give thanks, but always givingthanks means always, always.
And so then, all of a sudden, Istarted to realize I'm not
living up to what that phrasereally has the potential for,
which is always, and so then Ithought I just started

(27:30):
reflecting what am I thankfulfor?
And I was like, huh, healthydrinking water.
Huh, like, like a house thatI'm trying to move out of and
that I'm tired of.
You know, my friend jesse zach,I mean like always giving thanks
.
You know what I mean.
And wow, a laptop that works,and these are all you could call
these, some of these trivialgratitude things.

(27:51):
But if you're always givingthanks, I mean I just realized
I'm not always doing it.
I'm just focusing on gratitude,oh, and the times when they
need to pick me up out ofsomething hard.
But if you're always focused onit.
That's a different thing.
It took me years.

Speaker 2 (28:07):
So growing up, my dad was very much just your
attitude is something you cancontrol, right, you can't always
control all these other thingsthat happen to you, but you can
control your attitude.
And I was ah, dad, it's notthat easy, yeah, and it's not
easy, but it's true.
And if that attitude is givingthanks, even when there's trials

(28:28):
going on or things aren't goingyour way or you're having a bad
day, it really gives you thatperspective, I think, just like
you said, because if we'rehaving a bad day, something's
not going right in here in theroom, the equipment's not
working, oh gosh, this day'skind of ruined.
And then you walk out andrealize you don't have a home,
you don't live in Johnson County, kansas, you don't have all
these things that you've beenblessed with Pretty quickly.

(28:49):
All those things you were justcomplaining about would seem
trivial in comparison, sothere's always something to give
thanks about.

Speaker 1 (28:55):
That's why.

Speaker 2 (28:55):
I wear this bracelet right here.
Actually this is my bad daybracelet.
It's got the name of a Vietnam.
I never knew his family oranything.
Got it when I finished survivalschool but I wear it every day.
People ask me about it and it'sgot the day he was shot down in
North Vietnam on here in hisname.
And if I'm ever having a badday I just kind of look at it
and go, hey, I'm not missing inaction.

Speaker 1 (29:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (29:23):
So it's a perspective bracelet is kind of what I
think of it.
What's his name, by the way?
Bruce Nystrom.
Okay, promoted afterwardsthey're pretty sure he died, but
promoted.
He was a commander.
When he got shot down in 1968in the Navy he was a squadron
commander, got shot down andthen they promoted him after the
fact to captain.
But you know, I've Googled himSometime.
I've thought about, like,should I reach out to his family

(29:45):
?
You know, it's probably at thispoint now, you know it's we're
talking grandkids and that wouldprobably be his living
survivors, but their family willnever know it.
But I've worn this guy'sbracelet, you know, on my on my
arm.
Since what?

Speaker 1 (29:57):
2004,.
I think so yeah, that's great.
What a great physical, visiblereminder of that.

Speaker 2 (30:03):
That's awesome.

Speaker 1 (30:03):
So nice.
I need something like that thento remind me.

Speaker 2 (30:07):
A token of some sort A token, yeah.

Speaker 1 (30:09):
So well, today I'm going to go with my always give
thanks is you?
Oh, wow, yeah, I'm blushing,yeah, I mean, what a blessing it
is that, like you know, we goway back to middle school and
then just like lost touch for somany years.
And then, when we got togetherat Black Dog Coffeehouse, you
know about a year ago it feltlike we were back in eighth
grade, man you know what I mean.

(30:30):
It was just like here we are.

Speaker 2 (30:32):
And I I mean I followed you over the years.
I you had no idea this washappening, but I'm, you know, I
lived all over the place in theNavy and I've got two kids and
they're getting older and I'mshowing them this this kid I
used to sit next to in middleschool he was so good at magic
Look at this YouTube video ofhim now.
And you know, to this day Ithink I said this in the last
podcast.
I'm repeating myself, but therewas a little sugar packet trick

(30:54):
that you showed people how todo on.
YouTube and I, I still they'relike dad, we no.
Devin Henderson that's awesome,man, that's awesome.
Yeah, wow, I'm honored man.

Speaker 1 (31:04):
Thank you.
All right, so that is nowconfessions of a motivational
speaker, and so feel free tojump in if you have one of your
own too, you know, because Ithink, like, as a motivational
speaker, like I mean, all peopleare trying to like keep a
facade of sorts, maybe, or likesocial media is great proof of
that.
Like let me just show you howperfect air quotes, how perfect

(31:28):
my life is.
Well, I like to kind of likepull the curtain back a little
bit and just show motivationalspeakers.
We're just like everybody else,you know.
Yeah, I'm probably the only onewho's saying that motivational
speakers don't think likeeveryone else.
Here we go.
So here's my confession I makedecisions.
I make decisions based on whatother people want from me.
So they're assumptions.
So I assume they have theseassumptions, even if it's true

(31:49):
or not that it should not be howI make my decisions.
So I'll give you an exampleright now kind of getting as
vulnerable as I possibly can inthis moment my hair, my facial
hair and my hair I'm kind ofgrowing out the mop top a little
bit.
And I don't know why, I can'ttell you why I just like start
letting it grow.
One day, I think I just gottired of cutting it and I was

(32:11):
like, oh, what do I look likenow with longer hair?
And then I was like letting thebeard grow out.
But I got like quite a bit ofwhite in my beard and so I'm
always thinking like what doesmy wife think?
What do my kids think?
What do the people who hire methink, what?
does that stranger think likewhat do they think?
What do they think?
And it's all about oh, theydon't like it, I should cut my
hair.
Oh, you do like it.
Okay, I'll keep growing it out,and it's all just like.
Based on what other?

(32:32):
And that's just one examplesure but I've done this my whole
life.
Like I make these assumptionsabout what I and they might even
like look at me when I walk inthe room.

Speaker 2 (32:39):
I'm like they hate my hair, they hate my beard.

Speaker 1 (32:43):
And then that's the way they looked at me.
I'm going to go ahead and cutit all off, and this isn't about
whether I should or should notgrow out any kind of hair, but
it's about the fact that I makeassumptions and then I actually
base my actions on myassumptions.
And again, whether myassumptions are true or not, I
shouldn't base my decisions onwhat other people are thinking.

Speaker 2 (33:03):
And.

Speaker 1 (33:03):
I've just always the peer pressure thing.
I've always had that, you know.

Speaker 2 (33:07):
Which is interesting.
How many speakers have youwatched?
I imagine when you go andthere's a lot of speakers on the
lineup, you probably do yourthing, but do you ever stick
around and watch anyone else dotheir?

Speaker 1 (33:15):
thing I do, yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:16):
Yeah, and so then you ask yourself how closely am I
paying attention to their hairor whatever, the beard and all
that I'm going?

Speaker 1 (33:24):
to be honest.

Speaker 2 (33:26):
I do and I think maybe that's part of the problem
is that I think in some waysI'm superficial like that.

Speaker 1 (33:33):
I don't know if superficial is the right word or
I'm just focused.
You're detail-oriented.
Yeah, I don't consider myself afashion person because I don't
really know what's in it.
I'll watch YouTube videos tosee oh, what are the?

Speaker 2 (33:41):
men's haircuts.
I don't know, man, thatjacket's pretty slick you're
wearing.
I like that jacket.
Thanks, man.

Speaker 1 (33:44):
Like men's haircuts for 2024.
What's trending, what's going?
But then I'm like, and thensometimes I hate that.
I'm even thinking like that,that it's all about fashion and
looks.
But maybe that's judging, orlooking at or assessing, I guess

(34:05):
, is a better word other peopleYou're going to think well,
they're assessing me too.

Speaker 2 (34:09):
I saw Greg.
I'm going to mess up his lastname, greg McKeon, I think.
Speak, he's pretty well known.
Okay, he's a British orAustralian guy.
And when he spoke at aconference that we had here in
town for my grown-up job, he uh,he was wearing a three-piece
suit.
Oh yeah, and it it seemed tomatch his demeanor.

(34:30):
So I think that's probablywhat's most important is like
does your look and kind of yourappearance and all that your
vibe kind of like back up yourpersonality in a way.
Yeah, that's great.

Speaker 1 (34:37):
No, that's I.
I believe that's true.
A lot of times I'll we'll do, Icall it a fashion show for my
wife and kids and just be likedoes this go?
Does this okay, this okay, isthis match, you know?
And it's good to get input fromyoung people, but I think I put
too much pressure on my wife.
Which jacket, which one youdidn't pick?
one you know but but you know,another example, a fashion aside
of just me doing what otherpeople like I give in so easily

(35:01):
to people like like I was in afraternity in college and there
were two guys in our fraternitywho got caught smoking marijuana
, which 20-plus years ago was abigger deal than it is now right
.
Which the rules of ourfraternity were.
They were freshmen, and if youget caught smoking marijuana,
then you don't get to initiate.
You have to wait until the nextsemester to get initiated,

(35:23):
which is a big deal, because youwant to go through initiation
with your class, like yourpeople that you came in with.
And so I was the big brother inthe fraternity of one of these
guys, so I was doing a great job, and so they asked me, devin,
because we have in thefraternity sort of a trial
process to decide are we goingto let them be initiated?

(35:43):
Are we going to give them apass and still let them get
initiated?
Are we going to make them wait?
Well, I told them yeah, I'lldefend you, guys, I'm your big
brother.
That's what a big brother woulddo.
Well, then, like the next day,some other guy in the fraternity
pulled me aside.
He said hey, man, are youreally doing this?

(36:05):
He goes, come on your ideals.
I.
I mean, think about this.
You're defending something that, like, you're against you.
Don't believe it.
I'm like yeah, yeah, yeah, hegoes, you need to pull out of
this.
I was like, okay okay yeah, andI went straight to them.
I was like, guys, I'm sorry Ican't do this you know, and so
they had someone else defendthem and I I regret that to this
day that I went back on my wordof doing that because even yeah
, I mean even though it wassomething I thought you know
wasn't the best idea for them tobe doing at the time, I guess

(36:26):
you know is where my headspacewas is I was thinking like I
could have like been good to myword and done my best to defend
them and say, hey, are we goingto give them a second chance?
And just gone through.
So I think my whole point is Igave in so easily, like I didn't
even give it a thought and givetime to pray and think through
is this other guy right?
Should I back out?
I was just like, yeah, okay,All right, All right, and I've

(36:49):
been like that my whole life.
I think it comes down to I'm apeople pleaser.
I think, ultimately, what allof this whole segment is about
is that Devin Henderson is apeople pleaser.

Speaker 2 (36:58):
I feel that man and I think the way it translates for
me is I hate telling people badnews.
Oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (37:06):
That's so hard, man.
Yeah, as a people pleaser, thatis not fun.

Speaker 2 (37:09):
It's so hard, yeah, which is weird because I'll tell
myself bad news and criticizemyself all day long about it.

Speaker 1 (37:14):
I could have done this better.

Speaker 2 (37:15):
But it's so hard to do that to other people
sometimes when you just want tobe like a peacemaker and you
just want to, you know, so, um,so, yeah, I definitely feel that
you know, I'd say I'm a totalhistory nerd.
Um, and one of my favoritehistorical characters, uh, is
John Adams.
Nice and uh, I was just inBoston a couple of weeks ago.

(37:37):
I was on a layover there.
I had a long layover, so I II'd spent the day in Boston
walking the freedom trail, which, if you've never been to Boston
it's.
Basically it starts near theBoston Commons, which is like a
big park area, and you justfollow and there's all these
historical monuments from likerevolutionary era days.
There's like a cemetery where,like all these famous
revolutionary Paul Revere'sburied and you walk past that
and then you go past the spot ofthe Boston Massacre and they

(37:58):
all have like little monumentsset up to that, and so one of my
favorite books of all timehistorical books was John Adams,
and if you read the book andyou watch, there was like an HBO
miniseries which is never asgood as the book.

Speaker 1 (38:12):
Yeah, Paul Giamatti is there.
Yeah, he did a great job.

Speaker 2 (38:14):
I want to watch that it was good, but one of the most
unpopular things that he didwas in the Boston Massacre he
represented in court the Britishsoldiers that shot the local
folks.
And everyone there at the timewere right on the verge of
Revolutionary War.
They're like hang them justthrow them out, he goes.
No, I know it's unpopular, Iknow everyone disagrees with me,

(38:35):
but we're the rule of laws here.
These folks deserve a defense,and if nobody else is going to
do, I'm going to do it, eventhough these kids I mean they
were kids represented everythingthat that you know, the
colonial residents.
They're absolutely despisedabout that country and so that I
think about that a lot and I go.

(38:56):
Man, sometimes doing the rightthing is really unpopular.

Speaker 1 (39:00):
Well it's.
It was about justice, yeah,that was right.
And so, like it was aboutjustice, yeah, that was right,
and so it was more important touphold that value of justice
than it was.
Let's just go after our ownideal here.
So I wish I would have had youspeaking to me at the time of
this fraternity trial.

Speaker 2 (39:17):
Hey, it's easy for me to talk about this book In
execution.
It's so difficult right In themoment.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (39:22):
But I think if I just would have had the awareness of
mind to like hey, devin, youget to make your own decision
here.
Don't base it on you know.
Because I thought, oh, if I dothis, all the people in the
fraternity are going to hate me.
You know, all the respectablepeople are going to be like
Devin shouldn't have you know.
Devin's an idiot.
He shouldn, man.

Speaker 2 (39:44):
I I'd love to walk that boston trail sometime I've
never been in boston I thinkI've layovered there but I want
to spend some time there.
It's, it's, it's a great cityand uh, if you're a history buff
, was walking the uh, thefreedom trails they call it is,
uh, is a phenomenal experience.

Speaker 1 (39:54):
So nice, nice man.
All right, okay, um, are youready for your favorite segment
I?

Speaker 2 (40:00):
just I'm now.
I'm going into fanboy mode here.
I'm like all, all right.
What did the Henderson girl saythis week?

Speaker 1 (40:06):
I have not found a good way to smoothly transition
from one segment to the otherthan saying, okay, time for the
next segment.

Speaker 2 (40:12):
Yes, yes, and, by the way, I already told you the
story before we got startedabout your daughter two nights
ago at the at the meeting.
All our kids are getting readyto go to this church thing for
the weekend and uh, it wasn't somuch what do daughters say, but
like what do they do?

Speaker 1 (40:27):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (40:28):
It cracked me up.
I went over and talked to yourwife right afterwards.
I said that was hilarious.

Speaker 1 (40:31):
Tell the story real quick again for the listeners.
Yeah, so we're sitting in.
I wasn't there.
I wasn't there.

Speaker 2 (40:35):
So there's this thing for the high school, middle
school and high school kids thisweekend where they go and they
basically spend.
They're going to spend a Fridaynight and Saturday at
somebody's house a volunteerhere in the city, and it's going
to be no phones disconnectedand all of them able to just
hang out and fellowship and uhand talk about you know what
they're thankful for, talk aboutGod and really just make it

(40:56):
focused on that.
And, of course, whenever you dosomething like that, we're the
guardians.
These are still, you know, kids, right.
So we got to sign forms andthere's some you know rules you
got to follow and you know,don't bring a gun with you and
all this like stuff.
That's obvious, but they got tosay it anyway.
And so we're in there and theparents it's a mandatory meeting
for the parents.
I'm sitting here and then yourwife is like one row back and
one like over, with your wholeclan there and your oldest

(41:19):
daughter and uh, and they say,okay, oldest daughter, and uh,
and they say, okay, anybody gotany questions?
And I'm glad your wife askedthis question Cause I had the
same question.
She's like hey, I got a lot ofkids going to the same does and
she goes does, does everyone, do?
I have to sign a form for everysingle kid?
And she kind of like stands upand holds it up.
And I look over and your, yourdaughter, just goes like this

(41:40):
and I just started cracking up.
I don't even think your wifeI'm looking over at her while
she's waiting for the answer andshe looks at me and I'm just
cracking up and I think she waswondering why is he laughing so
hard?
I'm like man, I feel that rightthere.
Your daughter's just like I'm soembarrassed If you're listening
the motion was just head in thehands like oh, my mom is asking
questions, which is a greatquestion too, by the way, do you

(42:02):
have to fill out multiple forms?
I was laughing so hard I didn'teven hear the answer, so one of
your kids might not have a formthat they need.

Speaker 1 (42:13):
Only one of your kids is going.

Speaker 2 (42:15):
Yeah, I only got one who's old enough to do it.
That's funny, man.

Speaker 1 (42:18):
Okay, are you ready for girl talk?
Let's do it.
I found sometimes they'rebetter out of context, because
then you get to fill in theblanks with where did that come
from so?
Here we go.
Age 12.
I'm okay with suffering, aslong as I'm not throwing up Age
12.
Adults look weird in thebackseat of cars.

Speaker 2 (42:39):
Yeah, Isn't that true , though I can't tell you the
last time I sat in the backseatof a car An Uber maybe.

Speaker 1 (42:44):
But when you see an adult in the backseat you're
kind of like what are they doingback there?

Speaker 2 (42:47):
You know it does look weird.
You should be up front runningthings.

Speaker 1 (42:50):
Yeah, but it was one of those observational things
that a comedian would notice andbe like yeah and everyone's
like yeah, that is weird.
What are.
Don't tell anyone this, but I'mglad you're not.
And then she named one of herfriends' dads, I don't want to
say his name.
You don't know him, but anyway,pretty funny.
Age five dad, you make me feelcozy enough.

(43:12):
I asked mom to lay with me, butcan you tell her I changed my
mind.
I want you to lay with me, Iknow All right.
Age four diapers are like atoilet.

Speaker 2 (43:25):
That is profound, just true.
Yeah, it's true.

Speaker 1 (43:28):
Same kid age four.
Grandma pop quiz which dog doyou like?
On the Paw Patrol, as if all ofus have an opinion right.

Speaker 2 (43:38):
Zach, which is your favorite dog.

Speaker 1 (43:39):
Can you name one dog on the Paw Patrol?

Speaker 2 (43:42):
The furry one.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
The furry one.
There you go.
Age 12, I had socks that saythe future is now.
Is that true?

Speaker 2 (43:50):
total serious question like is that?

Speaker 1 (43:53):
is that right?
Is that true?
Pretty awesome, I don't knowhow to answer it.
Okay, here we go.
Last one, age four, ah, man, sothis is like a bathroom humor
one, and people always said inyour stand-up you shouldn't add
bathroom humor.
But how do you not do it whenyour kids say things like this
Dad, I pooped on the toiletwithout Mom's phone.
I knew you'd be proud.
I want to go to Chick-fil-A andtell Claire I pooped on the

(44:16):
toilet without Mom's phone.

Speaker 2 (44:20):
There's a lot to unpack with that one.
I mean, what does that actuallymean?
Does the phone haveinstructions on it?
Is mom encouraging?
Is there a video of momencouraging on the phone?
She'll be really proud when shegets married someday and you

(44:41):
put that like on a slideshow forall her friends to say oh man,
that's what I'll threaten mykids with someday.

Speaker 1 (44:44):
She'll be really proud when she gets married
someday and you put that like ona slideshow for all her friends
to see.
Yes, oh man.

Speaker 2 (44:48):
That's what.

Speaker 1 (44:49):
I'll threaten my kids with someday.
I'll tell your boyfriend aboutmy podcast episode 26 when I
talk about what you said aboutpooping on the toilet with mom's
phone.

Speaker 2 (44:56):
Okay, dad, no, no, dad, I'll be home on time.

Speaker 1 (44:59):
All right, man.
Okay, all right.
So now we're going to do somecomments from the podcast and
from the keynotes and whatnot,and then we should probably get
to the main session becausewe're about out of time.
Okay, you know what?
Let's save the comments fornext time.
I'll just put these becauseit's too much for right now.
I am going to do one.

(45:19):
I take it back.
Caleb is Ryken.
On my last solo cast I talkedabout, ryken left a comment and
then took it down and I wasafraid I had offended Riken in
some way.
It turns out it was my friend,caleb.
He called me and said hey, thatwas me, he goes.
I took it down because I don'tknow why.
He took it down for a goodreason and then he put a new one

(45:40):
on, but it wouldn't let him puta new one on.
So it took away all my paranoiathat I had offended right,
because I was kind of making funof it.
See, it felt like I was makingfun of reichen, but I wasn't,
and so I was in my head againabout I said something offensive
and so, anyway, um, he put anew one on there.
But go on and read it.
Um, the title is inspiring,motivating, interesting, funny
and insightful.

(46:00):
So, caleb, thanks for puttingthat on there.
I now have three comments onApple Podcasts.
All right, boom, boom, boom.
That's what I'm talking about.
All right, okay, so here we go.
The main event.
I told you about the book,right who, not how?
And it's by Dan Sullivan and DrBenjamin Hardy.
I'm actually listening to theaudio version of it, which, by
the way, audiobooks rock, like Ijust haven't been a big reader

(46:25):
over the years because of thetime factor, but now audiobooks
is like my new thing.
It's my new jam.
You can exercise and yeahexercise, drive, fly, I mean
anything you know.
So I've gotten so much readingin lately, and these are the two
books.
The other one is called 10X isEasier Than 2X, which I read
first.
It's called 10X is Easier Than2X, which I read first, but this

(46:46):
who, not how thing.
So I'm going to put a link toboth of these in the show notes
so you can get them throughAmazon if you want them.
The who, not how thing is to.
Basically, we always ask thequestion.
When we want to achievesomething, we always ask how,
and that's apparently the wrongquestion.
The question is who.
That's the more effectivequestion.
So, like for me, for example,zach is one of my who's right,

(47:08):
because when I would come inhere and get set up for the
podcast, it was overwhelming tolike try to be.
Like looking at the cameramaking sure the frame was in
right, I'm like, oh, is it stillrecording While I'm trying to
have a good conversation?

Speaker 2 (47:20):
with my guest.

Speaker 1 (47:27):
You're half in and half out the whole time, half in
and half out the whole time.
And then I would get home and Iwould have to upload the
footage from my camera or mycomputer and then kind of put
the bumpers on it and then letthat render and then put that on
YouTube and wait for that, andit was just kind of became an
all day process.
I said what if I had a who tohelp me with that?
And so then I hired Zach tocome on.
So now he sets everything up,he edits everything, he puts the
bumpers on it Boom, he's one ofmy who's.

(47:48):
I had another who, and thequestion could have been how?
How can I be more effective?
How can I create more mindspace?
But the how wouldn't have gotme anywhere right.
It was all about who.
I also have my overqualifiedassistant, crystal, who's been
helping me on and off for like10 years.
She's been incredible and soshe's editing like the shorts

(48:08):
that we put on social media andshe also does the email
exchanges.
She does so much for me and Icould have been like how can I
get these shorts done?
It's like no who can do it foryou.
And as a perfectionist, it'shard to say who, because you're
like no, I want, want to be how,because how keeps it in your
own control.
But when you're in a howmindset you're, you're gonna
take up more of your time.

(48:28):
You're gonna be doing thingsthat other people are better at,
and by by taking up that timelike you're not opening up the
time to to be able to like workon the creative part of your job
yeah, thepart that you can do.
Yeah, so right.
And then also I have abookkeeper, someone doing my
taxes.
I could have said how can I domy taxes?
No, who can do my taxes for me?
So I have the bookkeeper.

(48:50):
I also have a tax person who,once we have the books in line,
we give it to him, and he's likea tax lawyer.
So I realized that sometimes awho could just be a vendor.
It might be someone whoautomates certain processes for
you.
So I'm working on getting moreand more who's, because the
ultimate goal is to make yourbusiness, if you're an
entrepreneur, especiallyself-managing, so that I'm not

(49:13):
answering emails, I'm notsending invoices.
You know Crystal's doing allthat stuff for me, but there's
still too much that I'm doing.
Yeah, you know, and so like,for example, marketing my
podcast.
You know Zach puts it onYouTube, but I need someone to
promote it on social media otherthan just the shorts that we
put on Instagram and YouTube andTikTok, like announcing, hey,

(49:36):
this guest was on, check thisout, and then sending out a
newsletter, and those are allthings that are kind of Crystal
and I kind of balance it betweenthe two of us, but, honestly,
most of the time the ball justgets dropped because she's
overwhelmed.
I have her doing too much, I'mdoing too much.
I need another who to just helpus with these small tasks.
And so that's the power of thebook, because once you start

(49:58):
asking the question who, not howyou get your freedom of time
back, you get your freedom ofmoney, your freedom of
relationships, yeah, um, so I Imean, as I listen to the book,
I'm always inspired.
I need, I need to, I need toget more who's.
And they made the point that alot of people see a who as an
expense rather than aninvestment.

(50:18):
You know, and if we look at awho as an investment, uh, then
we realize, yeah, I might bepaying them money now, but
that's going to exponentiallyallow you to make more money,
because now you have peopledoing those behind the scenes
things for you, so I can work onthe creative part of my job.
Yeah, right, I can chase moreleads.

Speaker 2 (50:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (50:37):
In fact, I need a who to help me chase more leads.

Speaker 2 (50:39):
Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 (50:40):
Yeah, and so, anyway, and so that then I can have
more days off, yeah, right, asan entrepreneur, because, like
as an entrepreneur, you'realways on, you're always working
, yeah, and so you have to bevery selective, like the one who
wrote the book, I think.
He takes off like 180 days ayear.
Mm-hmm.
His wife puts them on thecalendar, dan Sullivan's wife, I
think her name is Babs.
I would be more like look atthe beginning of each week,

(51:08):
which day can I take totally offand focus on my family?
Yeah, you know, one or even twodays, yeah, and while these
books that they wrote are reallygeared toward entrepreneurs,
honestly the mindset I see, evenfriends that I have, that work
in the corporate world couldapply some of these things.
Oh, absolutely.
So, like, for example.

Speaker 2 (51:24):
You have a lot of who's helping you right, that's
actually a big part of what Ispeak about, believe it or not,
really, and I like how it's put.
You know there's different waysyou can put that.
I talk about decentralizing.
That's a big concept of Top Gunand what made it so successful?
Because and you know I'd switchgears here a little bit, but
you know Top Gun was all about.

(51:46):
We have this graduate levelorganization of how to take it
to the next level.
We teach these people how to dograduate level fighter pilot
tactics and that's all the kindof the sexy part of it, right.
But what Top Gun's really doingat the heart is it's teaching
people how to be teachers andthey're segmenting the different
areas of everything you have toknow about being a fighter
pilot and they're making acouple different experts on each

(52:08):
area.
Hey, this guy is an expert onmissiles.
This guy is an expert onmissiles.
This guy's an expert on bombs.
This guy's an expert ondogfighting.
This guy's an expert on thishighly technical system we have
or whatever.
And then they go out and theyteach that.
Okay, and the cool thing aboutTop Gun is they give you
whatever you're going to besmart on.
They call it a subject matterexpert in the military.
Okay, you're the subject matterexpert for this area and now
you own this and we just trustyou to go out and be smart on it

(52:31):
and go teach it to people.
And there's very minimalfollow-up on it.
There's some accountabilitybuilt into there to make sure
that people are doing iteffectively and all that.
But for the most part, when Iwas a subject matter expert for
my three-year tour when I wasteaching, I was the expert in
the Navy on it and they trustedme that I was the expert and I
went and I gave talks to youknow rooms of hundreds of pilots

(52:52):
to teach, teach them about thisstuff, and so that takes who's
and that takes a lot of trust.
You're like handing that off tosomebody and going, hey, this
is for the better of this wholeorganization, we're going to
trust you with this task and youjust run with it.
Um, we call it big boy rules,big boy and big girl rules.
And then now in my job at thewealth management firm I work at

(53:14):
, I'm basically the head of theteam.
We do so many things there forpeople.
We do estate planning, we dotax planning, we do financial
planning, we do investmentplanning.
We do risk management andinsurance planning.
These are all things that Iknow a lot about, but I don't
have the time to go throughevery single one of these areas
with somebody.
So we have all these folksdecentralized again the who's,

(53:34):
if you will.
You know, we have the wholeestate planning firm.
Like we hand that off to them.
Hey, these folks that areclients need an estate plan
drawn up.
You guys run with this.
Now these folks need a CPA tohold their hand throughout the
year.
You folks run with this.
So I mean that sounds like agreat book.
I'd never heard of it until wejust started talking about it.

Speaker 1 (53:50):
I'm going to check it out, man, because it's.

Speaker 2 (53:53):
I think that's not only does it take stress off of
you and your shoulders, but ithelps you actually be more
productive in what your ultimatebig picture goal is.

Speaker 1 (54:02):
Well, and it does take trust, Like.
So, for example, I gave thepodcast editing to Zach, which
is basically putting the bumperson there, and I've been kind of
being like, hey, can you startthe music earlier?
Can you cut any?
I'm kind of like borderlinemicromanaging.
I told him this morning.
I was like, hey, man, are yougood with me asking for all
these?
I was like once we get itlocked in, it'll be good.

(54:22):
I just have a certain way thatI like it in my mind and he's
been real patient with myperfectionist.
But you can't sit there andloom over and micromanage once
you hand it off.
You kind of have to let them,which I'm learning to do even
with Crystal.
You know, every once in a whileI'm like I'm watching you too
closely.
I'm sorry, I need to back offand let you do your thing.
But I think it comes down tohiring the right people up front

(54:43):
Exactly that are capable butthat are also teachable, which I
find in both Crystal and Zach.

Speaker 2 (54:49):
And that's why I use the word decentralized versus
delegate.
Delegate to me implies hey,this is something I normally do
for myself, I'm going to haveyou help me with this, but I'm
going to kind of babysit it andreport back to me.
Decentralized more, I think,implies you're just going to run
with this and I trust you andyou own this area of the
operation.

Speaker 1 (55:09):
Well, I think you'll find this book really resonates.
Yeah, maybe even deeper thanyou realize, because he touches
on delegations and howdelegations is, and I don't
remember what word he uses forwhat you use decentralization
for like the better version ofdelegating.
But the negative part ofdelegating that he pointed out
was just that you're basicallyhiring someone that you will
have to micromanage, yeah, andthat You're basically hiring
someone that you will have tomicromanage and that, over time,

(55:30):
is going to cause you morestress, more pain, and that,
ultimately, you're going to haveto fire and replace.
Yes, because delegating isabout you're still in it where
decentralization is about.
Now it's completely out ofsight, out of mind, which is
where you want to be with it.

Speaker 2 (55:42):
Absolutely, you know you got me pumped for this book,
man I'm almost finished withthe book I'm reading right now
every night, and maybe I'll trythe audiobook thing now too, oh
man, because I've had some timethere's a little bit of like
shame and guilt baked into whenyou switch over.

Speaker 1 (55:58):
It's like when you start using AI, Like if you
start using ChatGPT or OpusClips, like we have for our
shorts.
I'm giving into it.
I'm giving into the bots.

Speaker 2 (56:08):
The only thing I use chat.
I've used chat GBT, but it'spurely for entertainment
purposes.
I'll go write a story whereJesse saves the world and then a
tornado hits, and I'll just seewhat it comes up with.

Speaker 1 (56:20):
Yeah, my kids have been writing.

Speaker 2 (56:21):
Taylor Swift songs.

Speaker 1 (56:22):
Like write a song about this and the voice of
Taylor Swift, and yeah.
But when you start listening toaudiobooks you're like oh, am I
a sellout?
Should I be reading, reading?
But it's like with the busy ifyou want to be productive man.
I mean, I read while I'mdriving.
Yeah, you know.

Speaker 2 (56:39):
Yeah, I'm trying to decide.
I do take a lot of pleasure atnight before bed.

Speaker 1 (56:48):
To kind of get me sleepy, drink a little mushroom
tea with the melatonin and allthat.

Speaker 2 (56:49):
And I read my novel and it's like it's just pure
entertainment.

Speaker 1 (56:51):
It gets me sleepy, that's good.

Speaker 2 (56:52):
But I think something like this, that's more like I
want to like really absorb itand it's not just for
entertainment purposes, but it'slike I'm trying to take
something away.
I could see, because that'susually when I go on a walk or
workout, I do a lot of heavythinking.
That's kind of like my me time,where I kind of solve problems
in my, my mind.

Speaker 1 (57:07):
I'm kind of in your own world, walking or even
working out.

Speaker 2 (57:10):
I hit the gym I'm lifting weights and I and I'm
rarely do I listen to music oranything.
I'm listening to something thatis usually trying to like help
me, you know?
So, um, yeah, you, just, youthink you know.
I got headphones on in the gym.
People think, oh, he's got tobe listening to like some death.
I'm listening to like a podcastright now.

Speaker 1 (57:28):
It's so funny because something else you said made me
think of the book he talksabout.
Your creative ideas don'thappen when you're sitting in
front of the computer, and Iresonated with that big time.
My best ideas come when I'mwalking.

Speaker 2 (57:38):
Something about not running.

Speaker 1 (57:41):
Running's too strenuous for me.
It turns off the creativejuices.
Sometimes if I'm driving ithelps, but walking in nature is
like when my mind opens up tolike my best creative ideas.
So he touches on that I'm justseeing like, oh man, you're
going to just be, you know,because you're an
entrepreneurial minded person,and, yeah, this is going to hit
you hard Now.
So here's, ultimately what Iwas thinking about titling this

(58:05):
episode, because the book iscalled who, not how, and as you
listen to it from my eyes,especially as an entrepreneur,
you're thinking, oh my gosh, I'mgoing to start collecting all
these who's and they're going tostart running my business.
I'm going to be free to take asmany days off as I want and
only focus on writing my bookand my keynote and connecting
with clients in fun ways.
But I think finding who'sinitially for me, it's easier

(58:26):
said than done.
Oh yeah, Because Zach just kindof fell in my lap.
Crystal just came to me by theblessing of God, just out of the
blue, yeah, but I've never goneto actively try to find who's
that work for me specifically.
Now I know there's social media.
People use LinkedIn, people useFacebook, like, hey, I'm
looking for this, this and that,or they go to Indeed.

(58:48):
You know, indeed is a big wayto find people.
But I'm just like there's thatwhole thing and he does talk
about this in the book how tomake the vision clear for the
person you're trying to hire.
Yes, but I'm working throughthat.
How do I make this clear?
How do I find someonespecifically for the needs that
I have?
Because, I've seen some peopleon LinkedIn that they're podcast
marketers.
I'm like but are they the kindof podcast marker that I need,

(59:10):
specifically Because I've hiredsome vendors in the past that it
just wasn't exactly a great fit.
So I think there's anexperimental process of you just
start doing it and you justhire some bad people which is
some of the examples in thebooks.
You just hire some bad people.
When I say bad people, I justmean people that like, oh, you
weren't the right fit for them,and vice versa.
That's what I mean by badpeople.

(59:30):
I just mean people that like,oh, you weren't the right fit
for them and vice sure.
That's what I mean by badpeople.
Yeah, um, they're a perfect fitfor someone else, um, in many
situations.
But you just gotta like, youjust gotta take a risk.
So I I've met so manyentrepreneurs who are like I
can't hire someone, what if Ihave to fire him soon?

Speaker 2 (59:41):
or what if they?

Speaker 1 (59:42):
don't do a good job.

Speaker 2 (59:42):
I'm like take that risk to have a better life I
think, and I think sometimes incorporate world, people, people
get wrapped around like do youhave three years of experience
with Excel and five years withQuickBooks, and all that.
I think what's more important isthe trust part of it.
Are you a person that justnaturally has initiative and can
kind of figure out,problem-solve things?
And those are the kinds ofpeople that are, okay, I can

(01:00:08):
learn this thing quickly and gofigure it out.
Or I can learn that you knowyou could have somebody,
conversely, who is reallytalented on one of those little
like areas.
But you know they're alwaysasking you like hey Devin, what
do we do about this?
Hey Devin, what do we do aboutthis?
And you're like, the reason Ihired you, so I don't, I'm not
here to answer these questionsfor you, like, figure it out,
kind of thing.
Little known secret that's howTop Gun picks their future

(01:00:31):
instructors.
That's how the Blue Angels picktheir pilots.
It's not on flying skills.
It's assumed you're a decentpilot at that point.
But all these people go oh, youmust be the best fighter pilot
or the best whatever pilot inthe world.
Yeah, you're good.
But what they're hiring peopleon, like Top Gun, is picking
people who have initiative andcan teach.
They're approachable and theycan teach.
And that's something you don'tsee in the movies the Blue

(01:00:52):
Angels.
There's actually a great IMAX.
I'm promoting this now.
The IMAX the first IMAX filmever.
Documentary was done by like JJAbrams and like this guy who's
like big time movie dude.

Speaker 1 (01:01:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:01:02):
I think in mid-May hits theaters the Blue Angels
documentary.
It's actually got some of myfriends in there.
I'm super stoked to go see it.
But I know they're going totalk about this.
They pick Blue Angel pilots noton the piloting skills but on
their ability to communicate tocrowds and spread the message,
which is to promote the Navyright.
So their most important jobisn't the air show, it's

(01:01:24):
afterwards, when they have aflight line behind the fence of
100 kids with posters going.

Speaker 1 (01:01:29):
I want to be a fighter pilot when I grow up,
and inspiring them.

Speaker 2 (01:01:31):
So that's, that is how they get hired for that job,
and most people don't know that.
But obviously you got to be agood pilot.

Speaker 1 (01:01:39):
Right, right.

Speaker 2 (01:01:40):
But so that's kind of what I look at when I'm looking
for people, you know, on theteams that I have.
I want to.
I want kind of the moreintrinsic level of abilities of
like, hey, this person's aproblem solver, this person can
kind of figure things out andcan be left unattended, Right.

Speaker 1 (01:01:55):
Yes, yeah, no, yeah no.
You talked about that when youwere when we did yeah, a little
bit like it's not so much aboutthe stick and rudder.
Skills is what you call it, butabout like are you teachable
Are?

Speaker 2 (01:02:05):
you humble.

Speaker 1 (01:02:05):
I said it pretty well back then yeah, yeah, so yeah,
it's good to revisit that, butso I'm about I'm a little more
than halfway through the bookwho, not how, and so I don't
know if he touches more onexactly how to get the who's if
he will you know, and that'ssomething I just need to start.
Sounds like a Dr.

Speaker 2 (01:02:21):
Seuss book now it does who, not how.

Speaker 1 (01:02:23):
Yeah, that's funny.
He does mention, because hedoes something like that with
his rhyming and he makes a jokeabout it.
But what I thought about was,like the title of this podcast,
I was thinking about calling itinstead of calling it like who,
not how, who, but how Ah?

Speaker 2 (01:02:40):
Like how do.

Speaker 1 (01:02:41):
I get these who's, you know, because for me, I'm
sold.
I'm not like, do I really needthese?
I was like, no, I need a bunchmore.
I probably need like five rightoff the bat, but I just want to
focus on one.
But how?
And so for me, I'm exploringthe.
Is it LinkedIn, is it Facebook,is it Indeed, or is there some
other platform or some othermode of communication altogether

(01:03:01):
where I can find the right who?
And so my next who is going tobe someone to basically market
the podcast, because I'm writingthe description myself.
I'm using AI, but AI needs alot of help at this point.
Ai is not perfect, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:03:15):
Well, we share the same speaking coach, right.

Speaker 1 (01:03:17):
We do.

Speaker 2 (01:03:17):
We do who, who, who, not how right.
A lot of times you find yourwho's from other people you
already trust.
Yes, Right.
So you know, take Zach backhere, he's a talented guy.

Speaker 1 (01:03:35):
Who knows, he may have some who's, you know, lined
up that could do certain things.
No pressure, you know, reverend, I'm expecting some who's from
you Start who's who's?

Speaker 2 (01:03:42):
Yeah, no-transcript Right right.

Speaker 1 (01:03:58):
Yeah, that's great and maybe that is the place to
start for me.
And actually Dr Benjamin Hardytalks about in the book that his
assistant does all the hiringfor him now.
Because she, that his assistantdoes all the hiring for him now
Because she knows how to vetand train people.
He's like we need to do this,we need someone for it.
Go make it happen.
He's done.
He doesn't even do thesearching, the vetting process,

(01:04:18):
but that's a good tip, man, tojust kind of put some feelers
out to my inner circle and workfrom there.
So I appreciate that.
All right, so who?
But how?

Speaker 2 (01:04:26):
Who dot dot?
We're going to figure it out,but how?

Speaker 1 (01:04:28):
Yeah, and you know maybe at some point we'll follow
up with this and talk about,maybe the who.
But my goal is, within like thenext three months, to have one
new who doing the podcastmarketing.
For me, that's my commitment.
That's like start small, like Isay, start ugly, start small,
pick up the ball.

Speaker 2 (01:04:50):
Let's go, man.
I know, if you're down, I'mdown, it's so much more fun to
not.

Speaker 1 (01:04:54):
It's not a solo podcast but, it's not really a
podcast with a guest, it'ssomething in between.
What would you call this?

Speaker 2 (01:04:59):
A podcast?
Yeah, a podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:05:18):
There you go and also check out Zero Shoes, that is,
zeroshoescom slash go, slashDevin.
Okay, all right, let's wrapthis up.
Let's ask the question wealways ask when you embrace the
possibility mindset.
We'll say what else is possible.
I'll say what else you finishit with is possible.
Okay, you got it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:36):
All right.

Speaker 1 (01:05:36):
Let's do this, Okay.
Never stop asking the question.
What else is possible?
See you next time.

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Dateline NBC

24/7 News: The Latest

Therapy Gecko

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}#27 Who...But How? with Co-Host Jesse Reed

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}Dateline NBC

24/7 News: The Latest

Therapy Gecko

All Episodes

#27 Who...But How? with Co-Host Jesse Reed

Dateline NBC