June 24, 2024 • 50 mins
What could you accomplish if you granted yourself permission to dream, feel and do something bigger than ever before?
In this outside the box new episode of The Possibility Mindset Podcast, Devin sits down with keynote speaker Mary Messner, a former healthcare exec turned trailblazing free thinker who challenges you to create something unexpected.
Business leaders, big dreamers and everyone in between will find takeaways in this thought-provoking discussion on breaking convention, accelerating productivity and architecting a mindset that fosters endless possibilities.
It’s the mindset shift you need to build the life you want, no matter what field sparks your creativity. Available now, wherever you get your podcasts.
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Guest website: https://www.marymessner.com
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Download and listen to The Possibility Mindset Podcast, wherever you get your podcasts.
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Sound and Audio Technician: Zack Midyett
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hello everybody, welcome to the Possibility
Mindset Podcast.
I'm Devin Henderson, I am yourhost and I believe that
something greater is alwayspossible for you, and I am
joined today by Mary Messner.
Is it Messner or Mesner?
How do you?
Speaker 2 (00:22):
It is Messner it is Messner my parents still say
Mesner.
But it is Messner, you can'tget them to change, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
His parents sometimes get stuck in that way where
it's like, come on, mom and dad,but whatever, now it's
endearing right.
Sure You're like sure, but no,um, that's funny.
Well, hey, I have to say Iwe've had.
This is the first time we'vehad two guests in one day.
That's the illusion.
I'm wearing the same garb twoweeks in a row.
So this is.
(00:49):
I don't know why I'm pointingthat out, other than the fact
that you know it's good, liketime management.
You know when you can lumpthings together.
I guess that's the goldennugget here.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
I like it.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
It's a good one.
I'm glad you like it.
That's cool.
We want to say thank you toEtcetera Shawnee for hosting us
and just for the wonderfulcoffee and the creamer and the
water is incredible around here,Am I right?
I mean?
Speaker 2 (01:12):
they're ice.
So anyway, I can't say enoughgood things about Etcetera and
their liquids.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
So seriously, we appreciate you.
I also want to talk real quickabout Mudwater.
I see you're a coffee drinker.
I am to talk real quick aboutmud water.
I see you're a coffee drinker,that's great, and so I've been a
big coffee drinker for years.
Today I'm 199 days off coffee.
Got my mud water here, which iswhat I want to tell the guests
about.
A lot of you know, if you'vebeen following, mudwatercom
slash Devin is where you want togo.
(01:38):
The link is in the show notes.
That's mud and then water withno vowels.
Wtrcom slash Devin.
35 milligrams of caffeine inthis thing.
So I can have like about threeof these and it'll be about the
same amount as coffee.
So the whole point is to see ifthis nutrient-infused drink is
going to help me gain moreclarity, more focus, help me
(02:00):
sleep better, get my energy back.
It's mushroom-based.
It's also got cacao for taste.
I Um, I put honey in mine.
It's absolutely.
It tastes like hot chocolate inthe morning.
Uh, so anyway, try it.
If you're kind of on the am Idrinking too much coffee type of
type of space.
Join me on the mud waterjourney.
Let's just see if it makes adifference.
My goal, I've decided just inthis second, is one year.
(02:21):
I'm past the.
I'm past the half year mark, sowe'll see what happens.
Thank you, mary Messner.
I appreciate that You'rewelcome.
How'd I do?
Is that all right?
Yeah, it's perfect.
Okay, cool, so try Mudwater.
Check out the link in the shownotes.
We'll see if that works alsofor you.
All right, I feel like, sincethis is my, that I'm just like I
(02:44):
know what to do, I know what tosay, which is probably
surprising, because you'reprobably going.
What is this guy even talkingabout?
Not at all.
So, anyway, watch the fullexperience on YouTube and
subscribe on YouTube.
Give us a thumbs up, share thislink with people who you know
Mary is going to benefit and,yeah, give us a five-star review
on Apple and comment.
That'll help us extend ourreach, and we appreciate you for
(03:08):
all the purchases you've madethrough our affiliate links.
Listeners.
Thank you so much, and thankyou to Ashley and Zach for
helping out too.
Zach's behind the camera.
Ashley is behind the scenes asour new podcast producer, so
really appreciate her.
Okay, mary, now that all thatis sort of like a set, we get to
like focus on Mary.
All right, so let's do this.
You're ready for yourintroduction?
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
You get an introduction like this when
you're speaking.
Is this the same intro we usewhen you're speaking, or is this
the podcast intro?
Speaker 2 (03:34):
It's probably similar , depending on the audience I
highlight some stuff anddownplay others.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Yeah, because you're not exactly speaking today.
It's like we're talking moreabout you.
Yeah, we're friends.
We're friends, that's right,we're chit-chatting, we don't
even really need the intro, butwe're going to.
We're going to because shedeserves it.
All right, so here we go.
Today, I am joined by atrailblazing free thinker I love
that who challenges you tocreate something unexpected.
Her name is Mary Messner, as wenow all know, the former
(04:01):
healthcare exec turned keynotespeaker, in tireless defiance of
the status quo.
Watch out, I love this.
This is amazing.
With bold ideas and a littlebit of fire, she ignites a
creativity that turnsinspiration into action.
And by asking what if that'sgreat?
I asked the question what elseis possible?
(04:21):
You asked what if Same idea.
She moves audiences towardspossibilities.
They always have the power toachieve.
That's interesting, right.
They've had this power alwayswithin them.
I love that and unlocks theconfidence needed to pursue them
.
So here she is.
Everybody, my new found friend,mary Messner.
Hey, hey, what's up?
(04:42):
How are you Good.
This is our first time actuallymeeting in person we got
connected on LinkedIn, I don'tknow, a few months ago, uh,
through a mutual friend, frankKeck.
Frank, what's up, my man, um,and so that.
And so when you said, hey, Imet Frank and Frank said that
you two need to connect.
It was like, well, if Franktells you to connect with
(05:02):
somebody, you darn right betterconnect with them, because
there's a good reason for it.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Yeah, no, he's, he's great and it was.
It was one of those nice things.
I think that's the beauty ofsomething like LinkedIn.
He said do you want me to makethe introduction?
And I said, no, I'll just, I'llreach out.
You were receptive and that wasgreat.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
You're a pro.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Frank I, you joined the National Speaker Association
.
Are you familiar?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Oh, I'm familiar.
I have not, and I have attendedas a guest some of the local
events.
It is probably something thatis maybe on my future to-do list
.
I'll continue exploring.
Are you a member?
Speaker 1 (05:40):
It's complicated, mary.
It's a great organization Forme as, of late, I've never
really been able to invest atthe local level just because of
you know other priorities whichwe'll talk about.
But then at the national level,I was, I got my CSP, I was, I
went every year and then, afterlike 2020, you know, not a
coincidence of timing it wasjust kind of like I just I'm
(06:01):
quick, going to national afterthat.
So, not that there's not valuethere, but just like I don't
know it, just it's kind of weirdhow life just kind of changes.
So so we'll talk later aboutthat.
So, um, but anyway.
So my first time going I was ina comp competition called so
you think you can speak.
It was for, like, new membersand so it was like all people
who had been in NSA, I thinkless than three years, were in a
(06:23):
competition kind of like so youthink you can dance, but so you
think you can speak?
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Was this local or at the national?
This was at the national level.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Yeah, and so I got chosen from our chapter to be in
the competition and so when Igot there, I think I was like
the top 10, because they sentone from every chapter, so it
was an honor to even be top 10.
Well, I ended up placing in thetop three.
They only gave first place toto Alison Massari, who was
awesome, and they didn't reallygive second and third place.
They just said you two areafter her.
(06:49):
So we were like, okay, we'retied for second.
Then you know, I guess that'show we'll look at that, but
Frank helped me prepare for thathe took me to his church and he
said get up on the stage and doyour three minutes.
You know cause I was going to dotwo three minute segments in
the competition.
He just sat there and then justgave me feedback about and
really helped me with it, andthen he also, when I wrote a
mini book, read the whole minibook and gave me his thoughts.
(07:10):
So what I'm trying to say isthat like we have a really solid
mutual friend here in FrankKeck who was willing to, like,
go out of his way to help people, and just an incredible guy.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
So, yeah, that's awesome, you know, that's more
than I knew about Frank goinginto this too, so I have even
more admiration for him.
So that's pretty cool.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
There you go, so, mary.
So I mean, let's talk.
This is our first time meeting,and so I'm super curious to
know about what you speak on.
I mean, I'd love to hearbackstory too, if we're able to
get there.
But what are you doing rightnow?
What's the keynote speakingspace look like for you and what
are you doing for audiences?
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Well, I will say that the heart.
I love that.
You talk about possibilities,asking what if the heart of what
I speak on is this idea ofcreating the unexpected?
And I use that phrase because Ido believe that if we give
ourselves permission to dreamreally big, there are things
that we can't even see in frontof us today.
(08:06):
So you talk about possibilities.
I talk about the unexpected,and the heart of it is a model I
call dream, feel, do and Icreated that dream.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
feel do I'll walk you through it.
I like that.
I liked it.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
I created it by studying what I've done, and
I'll give you a great example.
I've always taken jobs that Ihad no idea how to do them but
they sounded interesting.
They sounded like a challenge,so I started them with a bit of
a dream.
What if this could be somethingsuccessful?
What if I could achievesomething that I didn't see
(08:42):
possible in front of me today?
And that and I'll differentiatesomething here differentiate
something between dreaming andgoal setting.
Dreaming is something that youactually don't know how to do.
It's something that feels alittle bit out of reach and
causes you to stretch Goals.
On the other hand, you're like,yep, okay, I got my five-step
(09:05):
action plan that's going to getto my goal.
They're more tangible and Ibelieve those two are both
important.
But without the dream, thegoals just kind of become a task
list that causes you tonavigate day to day.
The feel part is probably themost important in all of this.
So let's say, you name yourdream and I'll use myself as an
(09:27):
example.
I'll throw the dream out therethat I want to be a highly
sought-after keynote speaker,and in my own journaling there's
a lot more details behind that.
But we'll start with that one.
That only works if I know thefeeling that I'm going after.
If I were to say okay, I'm nowa highly sought after speaker.
(09:51):
What does that feel like?
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
And to me it's an important dream because that
feels like ownership, that feelslike impact, and when I say
impact, I'll define that further, the first one being that it's
an opportunity to reach morepeople with this message that
we're talking about here, butthe second one.
For me personally, it's anopportunity for me to then
(10:16):
control my own time and my funds, to be able to decide how to
put that back into the community.
The people I work with investin others, so impact is an
important part of this.
If I were to go down that pathof achieving that dream and the
feeling led to chaos or businessor overwhelm, then I'm not
(10:41):
going after the dream in theright way.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Now does the feeling happen in your imagination,
before the fact, or as you'restarting to pursue?
Okay, so you're imagining okay,okay, got it, got it, yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Yeah, but it's a great way to keep yourself in
check.
So, if that, if that feelingstarts going off the rails and
it's time to recenter yourself,revisit your dream, remind
yourself of your priorities.
Yeah, so when when I thinkabout this in in a workplace,
it's the same type of question.
When I think about this in aworkplace, it's the same type of
question Go into a corporationand to be able to say to them
(11:13):
what's your dream?
Oftentimes they say, well, wewant to achieve this amount in
revenue, this amount inprofitability, and stop the
conversation there and say, OK,think beyond that.
What is something that youactually don't know how to
achieve?
So it simply could be.
We want to be the number one.
Let's use Chick-fil-A as anexample, we'll go to Chick-fil-A
(11:34):
.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
You're speaking my love language, because my
daughter worked there for threeyears.
Oh really, and we just talkedabout.
Drew Severance the operator andowner-operator and Will
Severance shout out again was onthe podcast in the past.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Anyway, okay.
So great example, Perfect Okay.
So I'll pick Chick-fil-A,because I think everybody
understands that.
So you go to Chick-fil-A andyou pull into the drive-thru and
what happens?
Speaker 1 (11:55):
There's, like kids, children out there with iPads
being like we're not going tomake your day better.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Yeah, safety vests and iPads and they're like all
over the place.
They are like ants.
Yes, in a good way.
Yes, but you go to every otherfast food restaurant and that's
not there.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Right, right.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
So I don't.
I have not spoken with anybodyfrom Chick-fil-A, so I'm going
to put some words in their mouthhere, maybe out of turn All
right, let's do it.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
But I'm going to assume at some point they said
we want to be the most efficientdrive.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Drive through that.
Any of our customers haveexperienced how to do that, no
idea.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
The second part would be how do you want customers to
feel going through thatexperience?
So it's not always about howyou feel about.
It's about how the people youserve it could be the people you
serve.
In the workplace.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
I think oftentimes it's the people that you serve,
the employees that work for you,the consumers that continue to
come back again and again,because there is a feeling that
they get interacting with you.
When you're doing your owndream, it's definitely internal.
So when I'm speaking toaudiences, I'm talking about
(13:02):
encouraging the dream and thenthe feeling, for whoever it is,
that they want to accomplish orto accompany that dream.
Okay, okay, and I'll alsoacknowledge that that message
isn't for everyone.
There are people that are likeno, no, like profitability,
that's okay.
That's what I'm focused on,which feels good, which feels
good, but there are people atthe, at a company or customers
(13:25):
that that do want somethingbigger.
And so even if you're not doingit for yourself in the workplace
, do it for the team of peoplethat you work with or those that
you serve.
The last part of the frameworkis do so.
When you say dream feel do Okayand I bring that one up because
I'd mentioned dreams aresomething that you don't
actually know how to do, rightwhen you start down the path of
(13:49):
achieving those.
If you've created this culturein the workplace that allows for
limitless possibilities, forthinking big, for working
outside of the quote unquote boxand just challenging the
current state.
Yeah, the things that can comefrom that, the things that you
go do to achieve the dream, theyalready know.
(14:10):
People know how to do that.
You just have to give them thefreedom to get there, and it was
what you said in the intro.
Like we, we can figure out howto get there.
If we turn off the limitations,if we open ourselves up to the
possibilities.
Yeah, so that's.
That's, in a nutshell, what Ispeak on.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
That's so great.
Well, it sounds like ourmessages are very similar and
you know you talk about thedream, how it's different from
goals.
Now I've kind of um use thephrase seemingly impossible goal
, which implies that if you knowhow to do it, it's not
achievable.
You know my friend Mark campcalls the same thing we're
talking about here his bud big,unreasonable dream.
So it's more aligned with whatyou're saying, that it's like
(14:53):
this.
If it's not, if you know howyou're going to do it, it's not
big enough, right?
If people, if you're notconfusing people and making them
say what it's not big enough,right?
You want people to think you'recrazy for dreaming this big?
Yes, um, so many, so much goodresearch and so many good books
support this.
Like 10 X is easier than two X.
Some of these books are justlike incredible that, like Mr
(15:15):
Beast, what he did in five yearswent from a guy and his mom's I
don't know, you know house tolike famous YouTuber and you
know, uh, just like five years,and so that's, that's awesome.
So, so that's great.
Uh, dream, feel, do that is.
That is a great nugget, you know.
So what listeners?
Let us know.
You know if you're in commentsor if you're seeing a bit of
(15:37):
this on YouTube, let us know.
How are you?
How are you dreaming feeling,doing just curious?
So so then for you, what doesthat look like in your life
right now?
Dreaming feeling, doing forMary Messner?
Obviously there's this keynotespeaking thing, but from what it
sounds like you're involved ina lot of things, right.
So what?
What all is going on in yourlife right now where you can
apply this concept?
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Well, the first one and you and I spoke about this a
little bit is this keynotespeaking journey for me started
at the end of 2021, juststarting a business and saying
yes to a lot of things, reallynot knowing the path, not
knowing what the right steps areto take to get to this longer
(16:18):
term dream.
So saying yes to a lot,exploring a lot of different
business opportunities, if youwill, things that kind of helped
paid the bills as you'renavigating this new journey and
throughout all of that, thefeeling piece of it is probably
(16:41):
when that came to life morebecause I would go and do a
coaching session.
So I do some coaching and walkout of that and ask myself did
that give me energy or did thattake energy?
And sometimes it gave me energy.
Sometimes I walked out feelingreally, really good and other
times I walked out feeling likeI, there was an impact that I
(17:07):
was trying to make that I wasn'tquite getting through, and so,
as a result, I still do somecoaching, but I've dialed that
back significantly.
I've learned that's not an areathat feeds me the way that I,
that I want it to.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Wow, so that feel thing really served you.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Oh big time.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Yeah, yeah, that's, that's legit.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Big time and both going into it knowing the
feeling that I wanted toaccomplish and then afterwards
saying did I get there?
Not entirely, so it becomes alittle bit more selective.
So that's probably the workevolution.
The other piece that I spend alot of my energy on is with a
nonprofit called Madam President, camp that is, and you'll
(17:43):
appreciate this it is a programexclusively for middle school
age girls.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Yes, Because I'm a middle school age girl.
That's why Totally why it hasnothing to do with daughters.
No, it has nothing to do withmy kids, madam President.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Camp.
Madam President, Camp Okayawesome.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Yeah, tell us about this.
What is that all about?
Speaker 2 (18:06):
Yeah, so that is.
It's an organization thatstarted about 11 years ago.
When I left my corporateAmerica gig to start my own
business.
I actually started working withthem in a part-time capacity as
their executive director.
I'd heard of them, I'd spent alittle bit of time with the
organization.
I reached out and said I'mbuilding a business, so, as I'm
doing that, I have some timethat I'd like to put some energy
(18:28):
into.
You all need an executivedirector.
So I worked with them for a fewyears, part-time.
Wow, the whole focus of thisprogram is specifically middle
school age girls, so 11, 12, and13.
Tough age, tough time of life.
And that's the reason.
All the data says that,starting at age eight,
confidence begins to dip.
Girls start questioning whothey are.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Yeah, what was that stat we had?
That it's like, uh, their comp,maybe you're going to cover
this.
Their confidence drops 30%during this, from eight to 14
boys of the same age reportconfidence levels 27% higher.
So, yeah, interesting, yeah,it's it's fascinating.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
This program was started because of that type of
data right and it.
We focus on confidence,building confidence, but we do
that through leadershipdevelopment.
And I say development, but I'llcaveat that a little bit.
What's important is havingthese girls understand that they
already are leaders, they don'thave to change who they are,
(19:27):
and that's important, I think,for a middle school age girl,
and for anyone in adulthood aswell, to think that leadership
looks like the loudest person inthe room, the person that can
command a room.
And that's one definition ofleadership.
But it actually takes all kindsto be able to effectively lead.
(19:47):
So we walk the middle schoolgirls through that, help them
see themselves as leaders.
But the second piece that isprobably more important is
bringing in the idea of civicengagement.
So you're now a leader.
You get to go do something withthat leadership voice, create
change in the community aroundyou, whether that's a school, a
(20:08):
church, a neighborhood, theworld.
You know future, MadamPresident, and helping them
understand how to do that.
What does it look like tocommit to something, an area of
activism, and take actiontowards change?
That's the foundation of theprogram.
I love it.
I mentioned I was executivedirector for a few years.
(20:28):
I'm now the board chair.
I moved into that position lastfall.
We have camps kicking off herein about three weeks for the
summer.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Where do they have the camps?
Speaker 2 (20:39):
All over Kansas City.
We partner with differentlocations, so some in Missouri,
some in Kansas.
We go to a lot of collegecampuses and then last year we
expanded into the St JosephMissouri community.
There's a group of women upthere that brought it to life
there and they're doing thatagain this year.
That's great.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Yeah, well, it really sounds like you're playing that
like a dream field.
Do to be like you're saying.
Get out, do the civic work youknow helping them feel more
confident, and I'm obviously.
You're making them dream bigjust by the title.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Madam President.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
I love that.
That's really cool.
Now, was this partly inspiredbecause, like me, you have only
daughters?
Was that part of the mix?
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Well, that was part of.
So.
The program was started by twowomen here in Kansas City.
One of them had daughters, hasa daughter and couldn't find
programming for her myinvolvement with them was
absolutely encouraged by thefact that I have I have two
daughters.
They're right now seven andnine.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
That oldest one is that they are, and that oldest
one.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
I'm seeing some of the changes the just the
occasional comments that arevery normal, but the shift of
her paying attention to someoneelse's perspective, maybe more
than her own perspective.
And, oh, man, that's as aparent, that's a there's a piece
of acceptance, because there'sthere's normalcy to it.
(21:59):
And also, man, you want to letthem hold on to that internal
wisdom that they already have.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Those are some transformative years.
Our oldest is 16.
So we've got like all aroundthat, we got 16, 14, 12, nine.
So we are right in that whereyou're talking about and it is
the way they change.
It's beautiful to watch themchange.
The hardest part for me as aparent is watching my kids grow
up, but it's also the best partyou know cause I hate?
I'm like oh you know it's alsothe best part, you know, cause I
(22:29):
hate.
I'm like, oh, you know, it'slike my babies you know what I
mean Like I just love theselittle babies and they grow up,
but it's so cool to see themgrow into these awesome young
women.
My, my oldest, just got like aninternship with our church, you
know, for this summer and she'sso pumped about that and I'm
proud of her and, too, you know,kind of that serve and be aware
of what's around you.
So you can, you can make animpact, you know, you can help
(22:52):
other people around you, beinspired to dream also.
So that's amazing, Awesome,Well, and you've got like tons
of I mean I don't want to glazeover Okay, you, you went to KU
and it was health informationmanagement which took you into
the corporate world.
Yeah, and you were awarded the2024 American Heart Association
Kansas City Woman of ImpactAward winner.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Congratulations.
Yeah, thank you.
What was that?
Speaker 1 (23:13):
How did that feel?
What was that all about?
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Oh, that was wild In January.
So I'll back up and say thelast several years I've been a
member of a group of women herecalled Circle of Red.
Okay, a group of women herecalled Circle of Red, where we
donate funds to the AmericanHeart Association.
So it's a commitment tofinancially support the
organization, but also greatopportunity.
(23:37):
I mean, the women that are apart of this are just brilliant,
so it's an opportunity toconnect with some really
wonderful women throughout theKansas.
City area.
In January, I received an emailthat said you've been nominated
to be a woman of impact forAmerican Heart.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Association and do you know who nominates you?
Speaker 2 (23:53):
I called some people.
I said did you?
I made a couple of phone callsand said do I have you to thank?
I wasn't sure at this time ifthat was actually going to be a
thank or not.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Did you get a confession?
Yeah, yeah, I figured it out.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
And actually one of the women, Haley Haar, who was
the winner the previous year,who's a great friend of mine.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
she was one of the people, so I can blame it on her
, but I can also thank her forthat.
Yeah, that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
And that launched a two month whirlwind fundraising
campaign to raise as much fundsand awareness about heart
disease in women and that itbecame in some ways kind of a
full time job.
I felt like if I'm really goingto focus on doing this, I need
(24:40):
to give it all my energy andeffort.
And then back to the dream part.
I didn't.
I had never done a fundraisingcampaign like this before and I
had to go ask hi, will you giveme money?
And that is uncomfortable andawkward and also a fabulous
growth opportunity andexperience.
(25:01):
And the biggest lesson fromthat is, if you're asking for
something and you are passionateabout why you're asking, the
ask becomes kind of no big deal.
And then the other person it'sup to them to say yes, I'll
support that or no, I can'tright now, and it's kind of like
sales in general.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
If you believe in what you're selling you don't
feel guilty about.
Ok, buy this.
Yeah, you probably don't wantto do it.
It's like, no, this is going tomake your life better or
someone's life better, andyou're, in this case, right.
I believe in this cause, so I I, that's huge.
Yeah, purpose your why?
Yeah, absolutely yes.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Thank you, Simon Sinek.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
Yeah, the, the, the, the willingness to stretch, to
ask.
I had several team members thathelped me engage people around
the Kansas City area.
A lot of local businesses thatsupported us sponsors Ended up
raising about $73,000 forAmerican Heart Association in
(26:00):
two months.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
Yeah yeah, wow, two months yes.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
My mom's a heart disease survivor, so it was
really cool to kind of walkalong her side, both through
that experience of watching herstruggle with heart disease, and
to celebrate where she is nowand know that what I was doing
had a direct or has a futuredirect impact on the next person
(26:24):
whether that's her again, or meor my daughters.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Yeah, yeah, Wow, that's well again.
Congrats on the award.
That's fine.
Was there a big?
Is there a big banquet for that?
There was a stage and shakehands with some nobles.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Sort of yes, yeah, they, they actually they did a
big luncheon.
The coolest part is mydaughters were able to come.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Oh, that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
Cool, you buy.
You buy tables and tickets.
And I asked her the team.
I said can my daughters come?
Can my mom bring them?
Because they'd been cheering meon, they had both donated money
.
They'd taken money out of theirbank account.
Here's $10, mom.
They felt invested in theprocess, so they got to come and
I have the video footage ofthem and their excitement.
(27:08):
Oh, it's just, I've watchedthat footage countless times and
that I think you know.
You go back to the idea of ofimpact being able to make an
impact.
That's a perfect example ofbeing having a platform in this
community through my speakingengagements and through the
(27:30):
networking that I do, to thenturn around and ask that same
network to support me insomething that I was doing,
which translates to a directimpact on something like heart
disease for women.
It's.
There's really no betterfeeling than that.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Yeah, that's great.
So, uh, one interesting thing Inoticed about you I saw that
you used to be afraid of publicspeaking.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
So which is really common with people?
And now it's like you're akeynote speaker.
So was this like when you weretransitioning to speaking?
I know in your health care jobyou did some speaking already,
right, so you kind of weregetting used to being in front
of audiences.
So tell me about that fear andhow you've overcome that.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
And if you still deal with it.
You know some, a lot ofspeakers still do I, oh, I, I, I
.
So I was a fast talker.
I'm not.
I'm not, I'm not a a slow.
You know a speaker and I'velearned to control that better,
but I'd always been a fasttalker, I.
I remember my speech class incollege, so I went to K.
Did you go to KU?
Speaker 1 (28:33):
I went to K state.
Oh, so yeah, okay, that's whywe're such good friends.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
That's all right.
That's all right.
My husband went to MU, did he?
Oh, wow, that really is awesome, which now it doesn't matter as
much, but like back in the day,that was a big deal.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
My wife and I met at K state but a lot of her family
went to KU.
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
Yeah, well, it's all good, we're all friends, my
speech class.
I mean, I have like a vividmemory of the first speech that
I had to get up and give and Ichose to speak about Parkinson's
disease.
My grandfather had Parkinson's,was dealing with Parkinson's at
the time Chose to speak on that, thinking, oh, it's something
(29:13):
that I know about, it'll be fine, and I got up in front of the
classroom.
I told this story recently to agroup of third graders and I'll
bring you up to speed on thattoo, but I thought I was going
to pee my pants.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
Like that's the sorry listeners.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
No, yeah, that, just full honesty, that it is yeah,
and I spoke so quickly and Ididn't remember anything I was
going to say and I was done intwo minutes.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Because?
Was it because I had a publicspeaking class?
I went to Johnson Countycommunity college.
I had it there.
So we had to like know what wewere going to say, basically
script that out and then stripit down to an outline.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Had you prepared like that, but it just for some
reason it was just gone, yeah,and I and I don't know why, I
have no idea what brainprocessing was happening, but I
was terrified, yeah, and I think.
I think part of it is because Iwas trying to position myself
as an expert on Parkinson's andI was not.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
I had a personal experience with it, so I was
trying.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
I mean, I just I think I was trying to bring
something to life that it wasn'tthe right message for me to
bring, and that's I've learnednow as a speaker that what
you're saying is you got to feelit and and for sure, for sure,
I forced many a message.
Yeah, yeah, wow, I forced manya message.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Yeah, yeah, wow.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
And then, yes, when I my first job out of college was
over a research medical centerin.
Kansas City, Missouri.
I was the director of healthinformation management and I had
to start giving speeches to theexecutive team and to the
physician team.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
And I was then speaking on things that I'd
become an expert on because itwas my job and I knew the
answers and I knew theobjections that could come in,
I'm like, oh, this is actuallykind of cool, yeah, when you
actually know it right.
Yeah, that was a stand behind apodium with a little microphone,
very formal, right, right,right.
But I'm like, okay, all right,this feels pretty good.
Yeah, and, but I'm like, okay,all right, this feels pretty
good.
And then I was at CernerCorporation for 14 years and
(31:20):
while I was there I wascertified to teach a lot of
their courses, their trainingprograms, and man, I just I
really started to like it.
I liked interacting with a roomfull of people.
I liked trying different things, different ways to say a phrase
, to catch someone's attention alittle bit differently.
The last job that I had therethe last several years was
(31:42):
working with a team of peoplewhere we stood in front of a
room and we provided educationto a subset of individuals from
the VA, teaching them how to usedata and analytics to improve
veteran outcomes.
But part of that just like youmentioned, with Frank Keck and
all the critiquing there wasabout five or six of us and we
would present to a big emptyroom minus the five or six of us
(32:06):
.
We'd pretend like we had thisfull room and we deliver our
content, pretend like we hadthis full room and we deliver
our content, and it would beeverything from adjusting a
movement with our hands to ourfoot placement, to how fast or
how slow or how loud or howquiet you know we were talking
totally.
And I I learned to perfect it.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
And I had a friend of mine here his name's Mike
Allison pulled me aside one timeand he said you're, you're one
of the best I've seen.
You have a career in this Nice,and that that kind of started
another dream journey for me.
I'm like, maybe I don't knowhow I would do that, that sounds
scary, and but it gave me itplanted, enough of that seed to
(32:50):
say I'm going to go figure outhow to do this.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Right, wow, so that's how it all started.
That's how it all started, yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Yeah, that was.
I remember exactly where wewere standing in this hallway,
by the stairs, next to the bankof elevators, and he said those
words and it's a pretty powerfulmoment.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
It's funny when you can remember the moment.
I remember the moment of.
I mean, I remember my magicaljourney, but when someone first
told me you should be a speaker,it was that I.
It was Mr Del Foods in Kearney,missouri.
One of the ladies who came upafterwards.
It was a wife and one of theworkers and she said you should
be a speaker.
It turns out she used to workfor the five-star speaker bureau
here in town, you know, and shegoes.
(33:30):
You need to meet with Brad Plum, one of the guys who you know
owned the other bureau beforethey merged.
Uh, I think it was calledMidwest something.
Uh, speakers and uh had lunchwith him and uh, you know, I can
remember every moment where Iwas Cause, when, when things
like you know work really welllike that, you look back.
You have to remember.
I have to remember to thankthose people you know I told
Brad Plum thank you so much forhaving breakfast with me.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
Yes, and pointing me in the right direction, yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
And thank you, mindy.
Yeah, so that's awesome thatyou can trace that back.
Oh yeah, and here you are doingit, that's amazing.
Yeah, yeah.
So you know, and also in yourwork with Cerner, it sounds like
you guys did some really coolthings during, like the COVID
time yeah, COVID time.
(34:12):
Like the no standing Fridaymeetings.
There was a bunch of otherthings that caught my attention
too, Like no meetings beforenine, from 12 to one or after
four, no attendance at meetingsunless your presence is critical
.
Um, I love that.
This is my favorite part.
Don't ever apologize for thekids.
The noise like you cannotapologize for that, because that
is like a given Cause.
I'm sure you get tired.
Oh sorry, I'm sorry.
(34:32):
It's like yeah, we welcome allof it, you know.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
So, that's.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
I can imagine people got so tired of zoom calls, you
know, you know.
So back then having theawareness to set the culture and
the standards for that, yes,that was key.
How did that develop, makethese more fun, more doable?
Speaker 2 (34:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
How'd that come about ?
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Well, I was, I was leading the team at that point
and you know it's I.
We all remember March 2020.
Like, like there, I mean that'sanother one.
I remember the moment in timewhen I went oh, this, this is,
this is a thing.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
I was in Branson, branson, missouri, on spring
break.
Yeah, oh, you were, that's whenit hit you, that's that.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
Yes, yes, and you know, our team was.
We were struggling, but alsotrying.
I think it was this weird timeof saying, okay, this is now
normal, we can do this, we'regoing to cheer each other on.
And then there were thosemoments of total overwhelm, and
my kids were two and four at thetime and you know, and my
(35:37):
husband was working and we'reboth home and I'm at the dining
room table.
You know the same thing thateverybody can relate to.
And this I'll tie this back toDreamfield too.
I remember calling the teamtogether and thinking, you know
what, if we could architect thisto where it actually worked?
And you all felt okay, probablynot great, because that was the
(35:59):
nature of the situation, butyou felt okay and you didn't
feel as overwhelmed.
What would that feel like?
And we talked about that and Isaid I don't know, I don't know
how to accomplish that, so let'sbrainstorm it.
What's our wish list?
This was that kind of big, boldidea.
What's the wish list?
And on top of that, how can wesupport each other to get there?
(36:19):
So the team people from theteam threw the ideas out there.
Well, we got breakfast, goingfor the kids in the morning and
getting set up on theircomputers to do school.
Let's have no standing meetingsbefore nine Cool.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
So smart.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
Same thing after four , same thing over the lunch hour
, and, and Cerner had a verymeeting heavy culture.
The other big thing is we madea commitment to each other that
prior to this, everybody wouldshow up for meetings because
they would say well, I reallyjust want to understand what's
happening.
So I'm going to, I'm going tojoin the call.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
We dialed that back fully and said we are going to
trust the people that join thecall to make the right decision.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (36:58):
And we're going to self-select out if we are not
adding immediate value to theconversation.
So so our, our meeting scheduledramatically decreased, wow.
And then, yeah, we said Friday,we're not doing it.
Let's what if this could be afour day work week?
What would that feel like?
And the amazing part was, formany of us it did turn into a
(37:19):
four day work week and weactually we accelerated our
timeline for some projects wewere bringing to life for the VA
, and we did that by imaginingwhat was possible.
What if we tried thisdifferently, if it didn't work?
It didn't work.
But man, I mean COVID was aperfect example to say I'm going
to try something completelyunconventional and give it a
(37:45):
shot.
And I'll add in there that Idon't oftentimes ask for
permission.
So I wasn't going to myexecutive leadership saying, hey
, can I do this?
Yeah, because at the end of theday, if it worked, it didn't
matter to them how we got there.
Sure it mattered that it worked.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
That's the part you were talking about earlier,
about giving people freedom tofigure out, because sometimes
the executives don't really.
If they're not in theday-to-day work and the daily
grind, they can't see thesolution like you can, you're
closer to it, so I love thatthey allowed you the freedom for
that, otherwise that might'venever happened.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, in the team I mean againit was it was my team that came
up with that list of rules andthey're the ones that trusted
each other enough to to to makeit happen.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
Yeah, yeah, that's, that's great.
No, I, when I read that, I gotexcited, like, oh, I, it's like
something I mean hindsight's2020, you know no pun intended,
but it's like you, so manypeople could have benefited from
that sort of a structure.
You know cause people just gotso burnt out on on all that.
So that's and I think that'slike the message now too, that
it's like allow your people to,like, you know, be a trailblazer
(38:51):
, like you are, and and figureout, find, help, find those
solutions and collaborations key.
You know, helen Keller, alonewe can do so little.
Together we can do so much.
So I love that.
So I am curious.
I am like, okay, since we justmet today officially, I'm
curious a little bit about thelike, the backstory.
You know, you went to Chinamission the East.
I went to China missionNorthwest.
(39:11):
Backstory you went to ShinaMission East.
I went to Shina MissionNorthwest.
But we don't have time to maybego all the way back for you,
but can you tell us what a dayfor Mary looks like if you had
nothing to do, no obligations?
How do you recharge and maybeeven boost your creativity?
What kind of things do you doto get into the best headspace?
Oh, my goodness, this is whereI'm going to sound like a total
(39:32):
nerd.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
What kind of things do you do to to get into the
best headspace?
Oh, my goodness, this is whatI'm going to sound like a total
nerd.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
No, let's have it.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
Well, having two young kids, I mean I okay, so
we'll play this scenario out.
Uh, kids are at, uh,chick-fil-a.
No, I'm not Well sure bythemselves.
Yeah, yeah, the kids are at thegrandparents' house.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
Okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
And my husband is out of town.
He travels for work sometimes.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
I like how this dream starts, with all of the people
she loves the most just goingsomewhere else.
It's like, yeah, honey, go Cody, goodbye.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
All right, you asked about recharging.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
That is true, that's fair, that's fair.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
I there, I, oh, there's so much value in alone
time at this stage of life.
And, and even my husband I'llI'll be out of my headphones in
and I'll be, I don't know, doingthe dishes, and he'll come in
and say something to me andhe'll say this is one of those
moments that you just need to bealone, isn't it?
And I'm like, yes, and that,and he knows that about me,
(40:28):
about me now.
So that's, for me, the biggestgift that I give myself is
moments of quiet, of being aloneand also cleaning.
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
Okay, All right, I am not.
I am not.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
well, it is, I'm not a clean freak by any means, but
I think, when there is chaoshappening, having an a space
that feels comfortable andorganized and the really cool
thing about cleaning is it'ssomething that you can do and
see.
So I spend so much time in thisworld, I'll be giving you a hug
(41:07):
right now.
Okay, totally, yeah, yeah, thisisn't weird.
Speaker 1 (41:10):
I'm like I get that.
I mean I like an orderly placetoo.
Yeah, she'll be like, okay,I'll be like, do you want to go
away?
Like we've talked about hergoing away and just getting her
hotel.
And she's like what if I stayedhere and just clean?
Speaker 2 (41:20):
Yeah, what if you guys went away?
Yeah, yeah, right, yeah, yeah.
And I think I spend so muchtime in this headspace of
(41:42):
dreaming and of thinking big andof honestly not knowing how to
accomplish all that I want toaccomplish and that gives me so
much energy and drive in yourimmediate space and creating an
environment that feels peacefuland controllable, so that then
you're right back into that.
You know that, that headspaceof being able to think in a
totally different way.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
So this perfect day for you might not even mean
leaving the house at all.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
Yeah, right.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
Are you an introvert?
Speaker 2 (42:11):
No, I wouldn't say that I am.
I would say I'm.
I'm more of an extrovert, but Ido appreciate.
I appreciate solitude at times.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
Even extroverts need that, oh, let's get alone, let's
yeah.
Like finally it catches up toyou after a while, yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:27):
But I'll say the other.
You know, my husband and I, ourperfect date night is probably
doing a project together.
We've renovated both the homesthat we've owned together and
little things like that, that,that sense of accomplishment and
and we do projects really welltogether.
Speaker 1 (42:43):
We have a lot of a lot of fun with all of that.
Yeah, no, no, you're good.
No, dude, don't worry about it.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
And then I even think the moments when I pull my kids
in is probably watching.
You know you mentioned themgrowing up.
How beautiful that is, watchingthose moments where they're
discovering who they are and asense of freedom and how it's
just.
There's nothing like it.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
Yeah, yeah, that's great.
So so, in terms of like, say,sparking your creativity, do you
need those moments, do thoselook different, or does that
kind of come in?
Hey, I'm cleaning, you know,and I'm getting ideas, or like,
whether you're writing a keynotespeech or thinking of creative
ways with the charity, um, arethere things you do that for me?
I'll just.
It's walking in nature, like ifI'm like I need ideas, that's
(43:30):
what I can't do.
It's sitting in front of mylaptop, you know, jogging
doesn't help, like driving kindof helps, but walking in nature,
do you have something?
That's just like the idea tostart to come easy.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
Yeah, it's actually if, when I am laying in bed at
night, it takes me forever tofall asleep.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
but I have written entire keynote speeches and I
think it's a silence thing thereis.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
There is no distraction, it is dark, it is
silent.
It's just you and your thoughts, and those are probably the
moments where my best ideas havehave come to me, or or my best
speeches have have come to me.
Yeah, yeah, the out walking.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
I love that, but I'm constantly taking in the world
around me which then becomes adistraction for me the laying in
bed at night.
Sometimes I have had manystroke of genius.
Speaker 2 (44:18):
And I remember them the next day.
Some people are like I don'tremember what I think about in
the middle of the night.
Speaker 1 (44:22):
You don't get up and write them down or anything.
I don't, no.
Speaker 2 (44:24):
I do remember I rehearse them.
I'll come up with the idea.
I mean, I will spend hoursrehearsing whatever.
If it's a keynote, I will justrehearse and rehearse and
rehearse.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
And then I'm tired the next day, but also energized
by that midnight breakthrough.
Speaker 1 (44:41):
Wow, Okay.
So you know, if people are likeneed a keynote speaker, it's
Mary Messner.
Yeah.
She's in Kansas City, buttravels all over.
Yeah, so what's?
What's your website, mary?
Or?
Speaker 2 (44:52):
mary messner mary messnercom.
Speaker 1 (44:54):
it's so good to get your name, isn't it?
Yes, yes when did you get yourwebsite?
Speaker 2 (44:59):
well, my website started out as highline creative
group okay, I'll I'll give youmy, my backstory there my my
business, llc, is highlinecreative group because the
creative part again is just it'simportant to me that all of
this is a creative process, howyou dream, how you feel about
things.
And when I started that company, everybody said, oh, creative,
(45:22):
you're an ad agency, you're agraphic design firm, and I was
fighting that.
Speaker 1 (45:26):
I see yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:27):
I rebranded more publicly as Mary Messner so I
still do work.
When I'm doing consulting typeof work, I do that as Highline
Creative Group.
When I'm speaking, it's allbranded as me You're hiring me.
So website I mean, I think Igot that two and a half years
ago.
I mean, I have a lot ofwebsites that I had the midnight
(45:47):
idea and I'm like I'm going toregister it.
Speaker 1 (45:49):
It seems like today it'd be like cause I got Devin
Henderson, like 20 years ago.
It just seems like today.
Like you know, in recent years,if like all the names have been
taken because people have justeaten them up so they can sell
them.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
So that's cool that you got your name.
Speaker 1 (46:07):
You know, that's that's awesome, Well cool.
Okay, so there it is Do youneed your people to create the
unexpected?
Well, they can innovate bydreaming, feeling, doing.
You got it.
It comes down to creativityinnovation.
I love that.
It's really abouttransformation and chasing those
dreams so awesome.
Well, thanks for coming ontoday.
Speaker 2 (46:27):
Thanks for having me Really appreciate you being here
.
Speaker 1 (46:28):
We'll have to do it again sometime.
I'd love to.
Yeah, we'll find out what'sgoing on.
We'll do a part two with Mary,Okay, awesome.
Well, before we wrap up and Ido have one final question for
you.
You would have heard it, Iasked Jason the same question
earlier, so maybe you've hadsome time to process for hosting
us here.
Also, visit Mudwater.
(46:51):
Go to the show notes, Click onthe link, See if it's right for
you.
And yeah, don't forget to like,subscribe, share, comment.
That really helps us to extendour reach and people who need to
dream big.
This message will be great forthem.
So, all right, before we signoff, you know this is helpful
because you have daughters, sono doubt, and you're a keynote
(47:13):
speaker.
So if my daughters were righthere, what's one thing you would
tell them?
Speaker 2 (47:19):
I think that I would say what you bring to this world
is important and necessary andvaluable and it looks just like
it looks for you.
You don't have to change to beto be someone else or morph
(47:41):
yourself to try and fit intosomebody else's definition of
who you're supposed to be, andI'll.
I'll expand that to the idea ofconfidence, because that's a
big topic for young girls and weoftentimes consider confidence
as similar to leadership.
Loudest person in the room, theperson that can stand on stage
(48:02):
without getting nervous and alsoconfidence is dancing in your
room for your daughters that aredancers when nobody's watching,
and just having full expressionof who you are.
That takes confidence.
Or the parent that loves toread bedtime stories to their
(48:22):
kiddos in silly voices thattakes confidence.
So for a young girl to findthose moments where she feels
100% confident and, as a parent,to celebrate those and help her
see that that's, that's alsosomething that she should
celebrate for herself.
If she can latch onto that,that'll carry her for a long
(48:45):
time.
Speaker 1 (48:46):
That's great, my I don't know if I'll be able to
find it my daughter Eva, she'sseven.
I have notes You'll see.
Look at my girl talk notes.
Look at that.
I have these girl talk notesthat go, I just write down their
name, their age.
Oh, it's right at the top.
Eva said dad, if I have my ownroom, I'm going to dance
whenever I want, even at night,I'm going to practice my dance
moves.
Speaker 2 (49:05):
I love it.
I know, isn't that?
Speaker 1 (49:06):
funny that it's like that she's thinking if I were
alone and no one was watching,this is what I would do, and
that's exactly what you justsaid you know and how confident.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
She feels so confident there, yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:16):
And it's like, oh, you want them to just like hang
on to that embrace that you know, yes, so thank you.
Speaker 2 (49:28):
And when you're in different environments.
But being really honest aboutthat moment that you feel
incredibly confident, Let thatcarry you.
Speaker 1 (49:35):
Love that.
That's so great, thank you.
All right, mary, thank you forjoining, appreciate you being
here.
We're going to sign off with akind of that question.
You know you ask what if I askwhat else is possible?
Same thing.
So, excuse me, I'll say whatelse you say is possible and
we'll let we'll let the audiencetake that question and run with
it today, all right, so here wego, embrace the possibility
mindset, which means that younever stop asking the question
(49:57):
what else is possible?
We will see you next time.
Hello everybody, welcome to the Possibility
Mindset Podcast.
I'm Devin Henderson, I am yourhost and I believe that
something greater is alwayspossible for you, and I am
joined today by Mary Messner.
Is it Messner or Mesner?
How do you?
Speaker 2 (00:22):
It is Messner it is Messner my parents still say
Mesner.
But it is Messner, you can'tget them to change, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
His parents sometimes get stuck in that way where
it's like, come on, mom and dad,but whatever, now it's
endearing right.
Sure You're like sure, but no,um, that's funny.
Well, hey, I have to say Iwe've had.
This is the first time we'vehad two guests in one day.
That's the illusion.
I'm wearing the same garb twoweeks in a row.
So this is.
(00:49):
I don't know why I'm pointingthat out, other than the fact
that you know it's good, liketime management.
You know when you can lumpthings together.
I guess that's the goldennugget here.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
I like it.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
It's a good one.
I'm glad you like it.
That's cool.
We want to say thank you toEtcetera Shawnee for hosting us
and just for the wonderfulcoffee and the creamer and the
water is incredible around here,Am I right?
I mean?
Speaker 2 (01:12):
they're ice.
So anyway, I can't say enoughgood things about Etcetera and
their liquids.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
So seriously, we appreciate you.
I also want to talk real quickabout Mudwater.
I see you're a coffee drinker.
I am to talk real quick aboutmud water.
I see you're a coffee drinker,that's great, and so I've been a
big coffee drinker for years.
Today I'm 199 days off coffee.
Got my mud water here, which iswhat I want to tell the guests
about.
A lot of you know, if you'vebeen following, mudwatercom
slash Devin is where you want togo.
(01:38):
The link is in the show notes.
That's mud and then water withno vowels.
Wtrcom slash Devin.
35 milligrams of caffeine inthis thing.
So I can have like about threeof these and it'll be about the
same amount as coffee.
So the whole point is to see ifthis nutrient-infused drink is
going to help me gain moreclarity, more focus, help me
(02:00):
sleep better, get my energy back.
It's mushroom-based.
It's also got cacao for taste.
I Um, I put honey in mine.
It's absolutely.
It tastes like hot chocolate inthe morning.
Uh, so anyway, try it.
If you're kind of on the am Idrinking too much coffee type of
type of space.
Join me on the mud waterjourney.
Let's just see if it makes adifference.
My goal, I've decided just inthis second, is one year.
(02:21):
I'm past the.
I'm past the half year mark, sowe'll see what happens.
Thank you, mary Messner.
I appreciate that You'rewelcome.
How'd I do?
Is that all right?
Yeah, it's perfect.
Okay, cool, so try Mudwater.
Check out the link in the shownotes.
We'll see if that works alsofor you.
All right, I feel like, sincethis is my, that I'm just like I
(02:44):
know what to do, I know what tosay, which is probably
surprising, because you'reprobably going.
What is this guy even talkingabout?
Not at all.
So, anyway, watch the fullexperience on YouTube and
subscribe on YouTube.
Give us a thumbs up, share thislink with people who you know
Mary is going to benefit and,yeah, give us a five-star review
on Apple and comment.
That'll help us extend ourreach, and we appreciate you for
(03:08):
all the purchases you've madethrough our affiliate links.
Listeners.
Thank you so much, and thankyou to Ashley and Zach for
helping out too.
Zach's behind the camera.
Ashley is behind the scenes asour new podcast producer, so
really appreciate her.
Okay, mary, now that all thatis sort of like a set, we get to
like focus on Mary.
All right, so let's do this.
You're ready for yourintroduction?
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
You get an introduction like this when
you're speaking.
Is this the same intro we usewhen you're speaking, or is this
the podcast intro?
Speaker 2 (03:34):
It's probably similar , depending on the audience I
highlight some stuff anddownplay others.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Yeah, because you're not exactly speaking today.
It's like we're talking moreabout you.
Yeah, we're friends.
We're friends, that's right,we're chit-chatting, we don't
even really need the intro, butwe're going to.
We're going to because shedeserves it.
All right, so here we go.
Today, I am joined by atrailblazing free thinker I love
that who challenges you tocreate something unexpected.
Her name is Mary Messner, as wenow all know, the former
(04:01):
healthcare exec turned keynotespeaker, in tireless defiance of
the status quo.
Watch out, I love this.
This is amazing.
With bold ideas and a littlebit of fire, she ignites a
creativity that turnsinspiration into action.
And by asking what if that'sgreat?
I asked the question what elseis possible?
(04:21):
You asked what if Same idea.
She moves audiences towardspossibilities.
They always have the power toachieve.
That's interesting, right.
They've had this power alwayswithin them.
I love that and unlocks theconfidence needed to pursue them
.
So here she is.
Everybody, my new found friend,mary Messner.
Hey, hey, what's up?
(04:42):
How are you Good.
This is our first time actuallymeeting in person we got
connected on LinkedIn, I don'tknow, a few months ago, uh,
through a mutual friend, frankKeck.
Frank, what's up, my man, um,and so that.
And so when you said, hey, Imet Frank and Frank said that
you two need to connect.
It was like, well, if Franktells you to connect with
(05:02):
somebody, you darn right betterconnect with them, because
there's a good reason for it.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Yeah, no, he's, he's great and it was.
It was one of those nice things.
I think that's the beauty ofsomething like LinkedIn.
He said do you want me to makethe introduction?
And I said, no, I'll just, I'llreach out.
You were receptive and that wasgreat.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
You're a pro.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Frank I, you joined the National Speaker Association
.
Are you familiar?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Oh, I'm familiar.
I have not, and I have attendedas a guest some of the local
events.
It is probably something thatis maybe on my future to-do list
.
I'll continue exploring.
Are you a member?
Speaker 1 (05:40):
It's complicated, mary.
It's a great organization Forme as, of late, I've never
really been able to invest atthe local level just because of
you know other priorities whichwe'll talk about.
But then at the national level,I was, I got my CSP, I was, I
went every year and then, afterlike 2020, you know, not a
coincidence of timing it wasjust kind of like I just I'm
(06:01):
quick, going to national afterthat.
So, not that there's not valuethere, but just like I don't
know it, just it's kind of weirdhow life just kind of changes.
So so we'll talk later aboutthat.
So, um, but anyway.
So my first time going I was ina comp competition called so
you think you can speak.
It was for, like, new membersand so it was like all people
who had been in NSA, I thinkless than three years, were in a
(06:23):
competition kind of like so youthink you can dance, but so you
think you can speak?
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Was this local or at the national?
This was at the national level.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Yeah, and so I got chosen from our chapter to be in
the competition and so when Igot there, I think I was like
the top 10, because they sentone from every chapter, so it
was an honor to even be top 10.
Well, I ended up placing in thetop three.
They only gave first place toto Alison Massari, who was
awesome, and they didn't reallygive second and third place.
They just said you two areafter her.
(06:49):
So we were like, okay, we'retied for second.
Then you know, I guess that'show we'll look at that, but
Frank helped me prepare for thathe took me to his church and he
said get up on the stage and doyour three minutes.
You know cause I was going to dotwo three minute segments in
the competition.
He just sat there and then justgave me feedback about and
really helped me with it, andthen he also, when I wrote a
mini book, read the whole minibook and gave me his thoughts.
(07:10):
So what I'm trying to say isthat like we have a really solid
mutual friend here in FrankKeck who was willing to, like,
go out of his way to help people, and just an incredible guy.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
So, yeah, that's awesome, you know, that's more
than I knew about Frank goinginto this too, so I have even
more admiration for him.
So that's pretty cool.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
There you go, so, mary.
So I mean, let's talk.
This is our first time meeting,and so I'm super curious to
know about what you speak on.
I mean, I'd love to hearbackstory too, if we're able to
get there.
But what are you doing rightnow?
What's the keynote speakingspace look like for you and what
are you doing for audiences?
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Well, I will say that the heart.
I love that.
You talk about possibilities,asking what if the heart of what
I speak on is this idea ofcreating the unexpected?
And I use that phrase because Ido believe that if we give
ourselves permission to dreamreally big, there are things
that we can't even see in frontof us today.
(08:06):
So you talk about possibilities.
I talk about the unexpected,and the heart of it is a model I
call dream, feel, do and Icreated that dream.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
feel do I'll walk you through it.
I like that.
I liked it.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
I created it by studying what I've done, and
I'll give you a great example.
I've always taken jobs that Ihad no idea how to do them but
they sounded interesting.
They sounded like a challenge,so I started them with a bit of
a dream.
What if this could be somethingsuccessful?
What if I could achievesomething that I didn't see
(08:42):
possible in front of me today?
And that and I'll differentiatesomething here differentiate
something between dreaming andgoal setting.
Dreaming is something that youactually don't know how to do.
It's something that feels alittle bit out of reach and
causes you to stretch Goals.
On the other hand, you're like,yep, okay, I got my five-step
(09:05):
action plan that's going to getto my goal.
They're more tangible and Ibelieve those two are both
important.
But without the dream, thegoals just kind of become a task
list that causes you tonavigate day to day.
The feel part is probably themost important in all of this.
So let's say, you name yourdream and I'll use myself as an
(09:27):
example.
I'll throw the dream out therethat I want to be a highly
sought-after keynote speaker,and in my own journaling there's
a lot more details behind that.
But we'll start with that one.
That only works if I know thefeeling that I'm going after.
If I were to say okay, I'm nowa highly sought after speaker.
(09:51):
What does that feel like?
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
And to me it's an important dream because that
feels like ownership, that feelslike impact, and when I say
impact, I'll define that further, the first one being that it's
an opportunity to reach morepeople with this message that
we're talking about here, butthe second one.
For me personally, it's anopportunity for me to then
(10:16):
control my own time and my funds, to be able to decide how to
put that back into the community.
The people I work with investin others, so impact is an
important part of this.
If I were to go down that pathof achieving that dream and the
feeling led to chaos or businessor overwhelm, then I'm not
(10:41):
going after the dream in theright way.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Now does the feeling happen in your imagination,
before the fact, or as you'restarting to pursue?
Okay, so you're imagining okay,okay, got it, got it, yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Yeah, but it's a great way to keep yourself in
check.
So, if that, if that feelingstarts going off the rails and
it's time to recenter yourself,revisit your dream, remind
yourself of your priorities.
Yeah, so when when I thinkabout this in in a workplace,
it's the same type of question.
When I think about this in aworkplace, it's the same type of
question Go into a corporationand to be able to say to them
(11:13):
what's your dream?
Oftentimes they say, well, wewant to achieve this amount in
revenue, this amount inprofitability, and stop the
conversation there and say, OK,think beyond that.
What is something that youactually don't know how to
achieve?
So it simply could be.
We want to be the number one.
Let's use Chick-fil-A as anexample, we'll go to Chick-fil-A
(11:34):
.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
You're speaking my love language, because my
daughter worked there for threeyears.
Oh really, and we just talkedabout.
Drew Severance the operator andowner-operator and Will
Severance shout out again was onthe podcast in the past.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Anyway, okay.
So great example, Perfect Okay.
So I'll pick Chick-fil-A,because I think everybody
understands that.
So you go to Chick-fil-A andyou pull into the drive-thru and
what happens?
Speaker 1 (11:55):
There's, like kids, children out there with iPads
being like we're not going tomake your day better.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Yeah, safety vests and iPads and they're like all
over the place.
They are like ants.
Yes, in a good way.
Yes, but you go to every otherfast food restaurant and that's
not there.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Right, right.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
So I don't.
I have not spoken with anybodyfrom Chick-fil-A, so I'm going
to put some words in their mouthhere, maybe out of turn All
right, let's do it.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
But I'm going to assume at some point they said
we want to be the most efficientdrive.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Drive through that.
Any of our customers haveexperienced how to do that, no
idea.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
The second part would be how do you want customers to
feel going through thatexperience?
So it's not always about howyou feel about.
It's about how the people youserve it could be the people you
serve.
In the workplace.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
I think oftentimes it's the people that you serve,
the employees that work for you,the consumers that continue to
come back again and again,because there is a feeling that
they get interacting with you.
When you're doing your owndream, it's definitely internal.
So when I'm speaking toaudiences, I'm talking about
(13:02):
encouraging the dream and thenthe feeling, for whoever it is,
that they want to accomplish orto accompany that dream.
Okay, okay, and I'll alsoacknowledge that that message
isn't for everyone.
There are people that are likeno, no, like profitability,
that's okay.
That's what I'm focused on,which feels good, which feels
good, but there are people atthe, at a company or customers
(13:25):
that that do want somethingbigger.
And so even if you're not doingit for yourself in the workplace
, do it for the team of peoplethat you work with or those that
you serve.
The last part of the frameworkis do so.
When you say dream feel do Okayand I bring that one up because
I'd mentioned dreams aresomething that you don't
actually know how to do, rightwhen you start down the path of
(13:49):
achieving those.
If you've created this culturein the workplace that allows for
limitless possibilities, forthinking big, for working
outside of the quote unquote boxand just challenging the
current state.
Yeah, the things that can comefrom that, the things that you
go do to achieve the dream, theyalready know.
(14:10):
People know how to do that.
You just have to give them thefreedom to get there, and it was
what you said in the intro.
Like we, we can figure out howto get there.
If we turn off the limitations,if we open ourselves up to the
possibilities.
Yeah, so that's.
That's, in a nutshell, what Ispeak on.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
That's so great.
Well, it sounds like ourmessages are very similar and
you know you talk about thedream, how it's different from
goals.
Now I've kind of um use thephrase seemingly impossible goal
, which implies that if you knowhow to do it, it's not
achievable.
You know my friend Mark campcalls the same thing we're
talking about here his bud big,unreasonable dream.
So it's more aligned with whatyou're saying, that it's like
(14:53):
this.
If it's not, if you know howyou're going to do it, it's not
big enough, right?
If people, if you're notconfusing people and making them
say what it's not big enough,right?
You want people to think you'recrazy for dreaming this big?
Yes, um, so many, so much goodresearch and so many good books
support this.
Like 10 X is easier than two X.
Some of these books are justlike incredible that, like Mr
(15:15):
Beast, what he did in five yearswent from a guy and his mom's I
don't know, you know house tolike famous YouTuber and you
know, uh, just like five years,and so that's, that's awesome.
So, so that's great.
Uh, dream, feel, do that is.
That is a great nugget, you know.
So what listeners?
Let us know.
You know if you're in commentsor if you're seeing a bit of
(15:37):
this on YouTube, let us know.
How are you?
How are you dreaming feeling,doing just curious?
So so then for you, what doesthat look like in your life
right now?
Dreaming feeling, doing forMary Messner?
Obviously there's this keynotespeaking thing, but from what it
sounds like you're involved ina lot of things, right.
So what?
What all is going on in yourlife right now where you can
apply this concept?
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Well, the first one and you and I spoke about this a
little bit is this keynotespeaking journey for me started
at the end of 2021, juststarting a business and saying
yes to a lot of things, reallynot knowing the path, not
knowing what the right steps areto take to get to this longer
(16:18):
term dream.
So saying yes to a lot,exploring a lot of different
business opportunities, if youwill, things that kind of helped
paid the bills as you'renavigating this new journey and
throughout all of that, thefeeling piece of it is probably
(16:41):
when that came to life morebecause I would go and do a
coaching session.
So I do some coaching and walkout of that and ask myself did
that give me energy or did thattake energy?
And sometimes it gave me energy.
Sometimes I walked out feelingreally, really good and other
times I walked out feeling likeI, there was an impact that I
(17:07):
was trying to make that I wasn'tquite getting through, and so,
as a result, I still do somecoaching, but I've dialed that
back significantly.
I've learned that's not an areathat feeds me the way that I,
that I want it to.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Wow, so that feel thing really served you.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Oh big time.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Yeah, yeah, that's, that's legit.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Big time and both going into it knowing the
feeling that I wanted toaccomplish and then afterwards
saying did I get there?
Not entirely, so it becomes alittle bit more selective.
So that's probably the workevolution.
The other piece that I spend alot of my energy on is with a
nonprofit called Madam President, camp that is, and you'll
(17:43):
appreciate this it is a programexclusively for middle school
age girls.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Yes, Because I'm a middle school age girl.
That's why Totally why it hasnothing to do with daughters.
No, it has nothing to do withmy kids, madam President.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Camp.
Madam President, Camp Okayawesome.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Yeah, tell us about this.
What is that all about?
Speaker 2 (18:06):
Yeah, so that is.
It's an organization thatstarted about 11 years ago.
When I left my corporateAmerica gig to start my own
business.
I actually started working withthem in a part-time capacity as
their executive director.
I'd heard of them, I'd spent alittle bit of time with the
organization.
I reached out and said I'mbuilding a business, so, as I'm
doing that, I have some timethat I'd like to put some energy
(18:28):
into.
You all need an executivedirector.
So I worked with them for a fewyears, part-time.
Wow, the whole focus of thisprogram is specifically middle
school age girls, so 11, 12, and13.
Tough age, tough time of life.
And that's the reason.
All the data says that,starting at age eight,
confidence begins to dip.
Girls start questioning whothey are.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Yeah, what was that stat we had?
That it's like, uh, their comp,maybe you're going to cover
this.
Their confidence drops 30%during this, from eight to 14
boys of the same age reportconfidence levels 27% higher.
So, yeah, interesting, yeah,it's it's fascinating.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
This program was started because of that type of
data right and it.
We focus on confidence,building confidence, but we do
that through leadershipdevelopment.
And I say development, but I'llcaveat that a little bit.
What's important is havingthese girls understand that they
already are leaders, they don'thave to change who they are,
(19:27):
and that's important, I think,for a middle school age girl,
and for anyone in adulthood aswell, to think that leadership
looks like the loudest person inthe room, the person that can
command a room.
And that's one definition ofleadership.
But it actually takes all kindsto be able to effectively lead.
(19:47):
So we walk the middle schoolgirls through that, help them
see themselves as leaders.
But the second piece that isprobably more important is
bringing in the idea of civicengagement.
So you're now a leader.
You get to go do something withthat leadership voice, create
change in the community aroundyou, whether that's a school, a
(20:08):
church, a neighborhood, theworld.
You know future, MadamPresident, and helping them
understand how to do that.
What does it look like tocommit to something, an area of
activism, and take actiontowards change?
That's the foundation of theprogram.
I love it.
I mentioned I was executivedirector for a few years.
(20:28):
I'm now the board chair.
I moved into that position lastfall.
We have camps kicking off herein about three weeks for the
summer.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Where do they have the camps?
Speaker 2 (20:39):
All over Kansas City.
We partner with differentlocations, so some in Missouri,
some in Kansas.
We go to a lot of collegecampuses and then last year we
expanded into the St JosephMissouri community.
There's a group of women upthere that brought it to life
there and they're doing thatagain this year.
That's great.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Yeah, well, it really sounds like you're playing that
like a dream field.
Do to be like you're saying.
Get out, do the civic work youknow helping them feel more
confident, and I'm obviously.
You're making them dream bigjust by the title.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Madam President.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
I love that.
That's really cool.
Now, was this partly inspiredbecause, like me, you have only
daughters?
Was that part of the mix?
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Well, that was part of.
So.
The program was started by twowomen here in Kansas City.
One of them had daughters, hasa daughter and couldn't find
programming for her myinvolvement with them was
absolutely encouraged by thefact that I have I have two
daughters.
They're right now seven andnine.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
That oldest one is that they are, and that oldest
one.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
I'm seeing some of the changes the just the
occasional comments that arevery normal, but the shift of
her paying attention to someoneelse's perspective, maybe more
than her own perspective.
And, oh, man, that's as aparent, that's a there's a piece
of acceptance, because there'sthere's normalcy to it.
(21:59):
And also, man, you want to letthem hold on to that internal
wisdom that they already have.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Those are some transformative years.
Our oldest is 16.
So we've got like all aroundthat, we got 16, 14, 12, nine.
So we are right in that whereyou're talking about and it is
the way they change.
It's beautiful to watch themchange.
The hardest part for me as aparent is watching my kids grow
up, but it's also the best partyou know cause I hate?
I'm like oh you know it's alsothe best part, you know, cause I
(22:29):
hate.
I'm like, oh, you know, it'slike my babies you know what I
mean Like I just love theselittle babies and they grow up,
but it's so cool to see themgrow into these awesome young
women.
My, my oldest, just got like aninternship with our church, you
know, for this summer and she'sso pumped about that and I'm
proud of her and, too, you know,kind of that serve and be aware
of what's around you.
So you can, you can make animpact, you know, you can help
(22:52):
other people around you, beinspired to dream also.
So that's amazing, Awesome,Well, and you've got like tons
of I mean I don't want to glazeover Okay, you, you went to KU
and it was health informationmanagement which took you into
the corporate world.
Yeah, and you were awarded the2024 American Heart Association
Kansas City Woman of ImpactAward winner.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Congratulations.
Yeah, thank you.
What was that?
Speaker 1 (23:13):
How did that feel?
What was that all about?
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Oh, that was wild In January.
So I'll back up and say thelast several years I've been a
member of a group of women herecalled Circle of Red.
Okay, a group of women herecalled Circle of Red, where we
donate funds to the AmericanHeart Association.
So it's a commitment tofinancially support the
organization, but also greatopportunity.
(23:37):
I mean, the women that are apart of this are just brilliant,
so it's an opportunity toconnect with some really
wonderful women throughout theKansas.
City area.
In January, I received an emailthat said you've been nominated
to be a woman of impact forAmerican Heart.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Association and do you know who nominates you?
Speaker 2 (23:53):
I called some people.
I said did you?
I made a couple of phone callsand said do I have you to thank?
I wasn't sure at this time ifthat was actually going to be a
thank or not.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Did you get a confession?
Yeah, yeah, I figured it out.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
And actually one of the women, Haley Haar, who was
the winner the previous year,who's a great friend of mine.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
she was one of the people, so I can blame it on her
, but I can also thank her forthat.
Yeah, that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
And that launched a two month whirlwind fundraising
campaign to raise as much fundsand awareness about heart
disease in women and that itbecame in some ways kind of a
full time job.
I felt like if I'm really goingto focus on doing this, I need
(24:40):
to give it all my energy andeffort.
And then back to the dream part.
I didn't.
I had never done a fundraisingcampaign like this before and I
had to go ask hi, will you giveme money?
And that is uncomfortable andawkward and also a fabulous
growth opportunity andexperience.
(25:01):
And the biggest lesson fromthat is, if you're asking for
something and you are passionateabout why you're asking, the
ask becomes kind of no big deal.
And then the other person it'sup to them to say yes, I'll
support that or no, I can'tright now, and it's kind of like
sales in general.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
If you believe in what you're selling you don't
feel guilty about.
Ok, buy this.
Yeah, you probably don't wantto do it.
It's like, no, this is going tomake your life better or
someone's life better, andyou're, in this case, right.
I believe in this cause, so I I, that's huge.
Yeah, purpose your why?
Yeah, absolutely yes.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Thank you, Simon Sinek.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
Yeah, the, the, the, the willingness to stretch, to
ask.
I had several team members thathelped me engage people around
the Kansas City area.
A lot of local businesses thatsupported us sponsors Ended up
raising about $73,000 forAmerican Heart Association in
(26:00):
two months.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
Yeah yeah, wow, two months yes.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
My mom's a heart disease survivor, so it was
really cool to kind of walkalong her side, both through
that experience of watching herstruggle with heart disease, and
to celebrate where she is nowand know that what I was doing
had a direct or has a futuredirect impact on the next person
(26:24):
whether that's her again, or meor my daughters.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Yeah, yeah, Wow, that's well again.
Congrats on the award.
That's fine.
Was there a big?
Is there a big banquet for that?
There was a stage and shakehands with some nobles.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Sort of yes, yeah, they, they actually they did a
big luncheon.
The coolest part is mydaughters were able to come.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Oh, that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
Cool, you buy.
You buy tables and tickets.
And I asked her the team.
I said can my daughters come?
Can my mom bring them?
Because they'd been cheering meon, they had both donated money
.
They'd taken money out of theirbank account.
Here's $10, mom.
They felt invested in theprocess, so they got to come and
I have the video footage ofthem and their excitement.
(27:08):
Oh, it's just, I've watchedthat footage countless times and
that I think you know.
You go back to the idea of ofimpact being able to make an
impact.
That's a perfect example ofbeing having a platform in this
community through my speakingengagements and through the
(27:30):
networking that I do, to thenturn around and ask that same
network to support me insomething that I was doing,
which translates to a directimpact on something like heart
disease for women.
It's.
There's really no betterfeeling than that.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Yeah, that's great.
So, uh, one interesting thing Inoticed about you I saw that
you used to be afraid of publicspeaking.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
So which is really common with people?
And now it's like you're akeynote speaker.
So was this like when you weretransitioning to speaking?
I know in your health care jobyou did some speaking already,
right, so you kind of weregetting used to being in front
of audiences.
So tell me about that fear andhow you've overcome that.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
And if you still deal with it.
You know some, a lot ofspeakers still do I, oh, I, I, I
.
So I was a fast talker.
I'm not.
I'm not, I'm not a a slow.
You know a speaker and I'velearned to control that better,
but I'd always been a fasttalker, I.
I remember my speech class incollege, so I went to K.
Did you go to KU?
Speaker 1 (28:33):
I went to K state.
Oh, so yeah, okay, that's whywe're such good friends.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
That's all right.
That's all right.
My husband went to MU, did he?
Oh, wow, that really is awesome, which now it doesn't matter as
much, but like back in the day,that was a big deal.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
My wife and I met at K state but a lot of her family
went to KU.
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
Yeah, well, it's all good, we're all friends, my
speech class.
I mean, I have like a vividmemory of the first speech that
I had to get up and give and Ichose to speak about Parkinson's
disease.
My grandfather had Parkinson's,was dealing with Parkinson's at
the time Chose to speak on that, thinking, oh, it's something
(29:13):
that I know about, it'll be fine, and I got up in front of the
classroom.
I told this story recently to agroup of third graders and I'll
bring you up to speed on thattoo, but I thought I was going
to pee my pants.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
Like that's the sorry listeners.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
No, yeah, that, just full honesty, that it is yeah,
and I spoke so quickly and Ididn't remember anything I was
going to say and I was done intwo minutes.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Because?
Was it because I had a publicspeaking class?
I went to Johnson Countycommunity college.
I had it there.
So we had to like know what wewere going to say, basically
script that out and then stripit down to an outline.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Had you prepared like that, but it just for some
reason it was just gone, yeah,and I and I don't know why, I
have no idea what brainprocessing was happening, but I
was terrified, yeah, and I think.
I think part of it is because Iwas trying to position myself
as an expert on Parkinson's andI was not.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
I had a personal experience with it, so I was
trying.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
I mean, I just I think I was trying to bring
something to life that it wasn'tthe right message for me to
bring, and that's I've learnednow as a speaker that what
you're saying is you got to feelit and and for sure, for sure,
I forced many a message.
Yeah, yeah, wow, I forced manya message.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Yeah, yeah, wow.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
And then, yes, when I my first job out of college was
over a research medical centerin.
Kansas City, Missouri.
I was the director of healthinformation management and I had
to start giving speeches to theexecutive team and to the
physician team.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
And I was then speaking on things that I'd
become an expert on because itwas my job and I knew the
answers and I knew theobjections that could come in,
I'm like, oh, this is actuallykind of cool, yeah, when you
actually know it right.
Yeah, that was a stand behind apodium with a little microphone,
very formal, right, right,right.
But I'm like, okay, all right,this feels pretty good.
Yeah, and, but I'm like, okay,all right, this feels pretty
good.
And then I was at CernerCorporation for 14 years and
(31:20):
while I was there I wascertified to teach a lot of
their courses, their trainingprograms, and man, I just I
really started to like it.
I liked interacting with a roomfull of people.
I liked trying different things, different ways to say a phrase
, to catch someone's attention alittle bit differently.
The last job that I had therethe last several years was
(31:42):
working with a team of peoplewhere we stood in front of a
room and we provided educationto a subset of individuals from
the VA, teaching them how to usedata and analytics to improve
veteran outcomes.
But part of that just like youmentioned, with Frank Keck and
all the critiquing there wasabout five or six of us and we
would present to a big emptyroom minus the five or six of us
(32:06):
.
We'd pretend like we had thisfull room and we deliver our
content, pretend like we hadthis full room and we deliver
our content, and it would beeverything from adjusting a
movement with our hands to ourfoot placement, to how fast or
how slow or how loud or howquiet you know we were talking
totally.
And I I learned to perfect it.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
And I had a friend of mine here his name's Mike
Allison pulled me aside one timeand he said you're, you're one
of the best I've seen.
You have a career in this Nice,and that that kind of started
another dream journey for me.
I'm like, maybe I don't knowhow I would do that, that sounds
scary, and but it gave me itplanted, enough of that seed to
(32:50):
say I'm going to go figure outhow to do this.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Right, wow, so that's how it all started.
That's how it all started, yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Yeah, that was.
I remember exactly where wewere standing in this hallway,
by the stairs, next to the bankof elevators, and he said those
words and it's a pretty powerfulmoment.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
It's funny when you can remember the moment.
I remember the moment of.
I mean, I remember my magicaljourney, but when someone first
told me you should be a speaker,it was that I.
It was Mr Del Foods in Kearney,missouri.
One of the ladies who came upafterwards.
It was a wife and one of theworkers and she said you should
be a speaker.
It turns out she used to workfor the five-star speaker bureau
here in town, you know, and shegoes.
(33:30):
You need to meet with Brad Plum, one of the guys who you know
owned the other bureau beforethey merged.
Uh, I think it was calledMidwest something.
Uh, speakers and uh had lunchwith him and uh, you know, I can
remember every moment where Iwas Cause, when, when things
like you know work really welllike that, you look back.
You have to remember.
I have to remember to thankthose people you know I told
Brad Plum thank you so much forhaving breakfast with me.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
Yes, and pointing me in the right direction, yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
And thank you, mindy.
Yeah, so that's awesome thatyou can trace that back.
Oh yeah, and here you are doingit, that's amazing.
Yeah, yeah.
So you know, and also in yourwork with Cerner, it sounds like
you guys did some really coolthings during, like the COVID
time yeah, COVID time.
(34:12):
Like the no standing Fridaymeetings.
There was a bunch of otherthings that caught my attention
too, Like no meetings beforenine, from 12 to one or after
four, no attendance at meetingsunless your presence is critical
.
Um, I love that.
This is my favorite part.
Don't ever apologize for thekids.
The noise like you cannotapologize for that, because that
is like a given Cause.
I'm sure you get tired.
Oh sorry, I'm sorry.
(34:32):
It's like yeah, we welcome allof it, you know.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
So, that's.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
I can imagine people got so tired of zoom calls, you
know, you know.
So back then having theawareness to set the culture and
the standards for that, yes,that was key.
How did that develop, makethese more fun, more doable?
Speaker 2 (34:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
How'd that come about ?
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Well, I was, I was leading the team at that point
and you know it's I.
We all remember March 2020.
Like, like there, I mean that'sanother one.
I remember the moment in timewhen I went oh, this, this is,
this is a thing.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
I was in Branson, branson, missouri, on spring
break.
Yeah, oh, you were, that's whenit hit you, that's that.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
Yes, yes, and you know, our team was.
We were struggling, but alsotrying.
I think it was this weird timeof saying, okay, this is now
normal, we can do this, we'regoing to cheer each other on.
And then there were thosemoments of total overwhelm, and
my kids were two and four at thetime and you know, and my
(35:37):
husband was working and we'reboth home and I'm at the dining
room table.
You know the same thing thateverybody can relate to.
And this I'll tie this back toDreamfield too.
I remember calling the teamtogether and thinking, you know
what, if we could architect thisto where it actually worked?
And you all felt okay, probablynot great, because that was the
(35:59):
nature of the situation, butyou felt okay and you didn't
feel as overwhelmed.
What would that feel like?
And we talked about that and Isaid I don't know, I don't know
how to accomplish that, so let'sbrainstorm it.
What's our wish list?
This was that kind of big, boldidea.
What's the wish list?
And on top of that, how can wesupport each other to get there?
(36:19):
So the team people from theteam threw the ideas out there.
Well, we got breakfast, goingfor the kids in the morning and
getting set up on theircomputers to do school.
Let's have no standing meetingsbefore nine Cool.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
So smart.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
Same thing after four , same thing over the lunch hour
, and, and Cerner had a verymeeting heavy culture.
The other big thing is we madea commitment to each other that
prior to this, everybody wouldshow up for meetings because
they would say well, I reallyjust want to understand what's
happening.
So I'm going to, I'm going tojoin the call.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
We dialed that back fully and said we are going to
trust the people that join thecall to make the right decision.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (36:58):
And we're going to self-select out if we are not
adding immediate value to theconversation.
So so our, our meeting scheduledramatically decreased, wow.
And then, yeah, we said Friday,we're not doing it.
Let's what if this could be afour day work week?
What would that feel like?
And the amazing part was, formany of us it did turn into a
(37:19):
four day work week and weactually we accelerated our
timeline for some projects wewere bringing to life for the VA
, and we did that by imaginingwhat was possible.
What if we tried thisdifferently, if it didn't work?
It didn't work.
But man, I mean COVID was aperfect example to say I'm going
to try something completelyunconventional and give it a
(37:45):
shot.
And I'll add in there that Idon't oftentimes ask for
permission.
So I wasn't going to myexecutive leadership saying, hey
, can I do this?
Yeah, because at the end of theday, if it worked, it didn't
matter to them how we got there.
Sure it mattered that it worked.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
That's the part you were talking about earlier,
about giving people freedom tofigure out, because sometimes
the executives don't really.
If they're not in theday-to-day work and the daily
grind, they can't see thesolution like you can, you're
closer to it, so I love thatthey allowed you the freedom for
that, otherwise that might'venever happened.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, in the team I mean againit was it was my team that came
up with that list of rules andthey're the ones that trusted
each other enough to to to makeit happen.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
Yeah, yeah, that's, that's great.
No, I, when I read that, I gotexcited, like, oh, I, it's like
something I mean hindsight's2020, you know no pun intended,
but it's like you, so manypeople could have benefited from
that sort of a structure.
You know cause people just gotso burnt out on on all that.
So that's and I think that'slike the message now too, that
it's like allow your people to,like, you know, be a trailblazer
(38:51):
, like you are, and and figureout, find, help, find those
solutions and collaborations key.
You know, helen Keller, alonewe can do so little.
Together we can do so much.
So I love that.
So I am curious.
I am like, okay, since we justmet today officially, I'm
curious a little bit about thelike, the backstory.
You know, you went to Chinamission the East.
I went to China missionNorthwest.
(39:11):
Backstory you went to ShinaMission East.
I went to Shina MissionNorthwest.
But we don't have time to maybego all the way back for you,
but can you tell us what a dayfor Mary looks like if you had
nothing to do, no obligations?
How do you recharge and maybeeven boost your creativity?
What kind of things do you doto get into the best headspace?
Oh, my goodness, this is whereI'm going to sound like a total
(39:32):
nerd.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
What kind of things do you do to to get into the
best headspace?
Oh, my goodness, this is whatI'm going to sound like a total
nerd.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
No, let's have it.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
Well, having two young kids, I mean I okay, so
we'll play this scenario out.
Uh, kids are at, uh,chick-fil-a.
No, I'm not Well sure bythemselves.
Yeah, yeah, the kids are at thegrandparents' house.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
Okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
And my husband is out of town.
He travels for work sometimes.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
I like how this dream starts, with all of the people
she loves the most just goingsomewhere else.
It's like, yeah, honey, go Cody, goodbye.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
All right, you asked about recharging.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
That is true, that's fair, that's fair.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
I there, I, oh, there's so much value in alone
time at this stage of life.
And, and even my husband I'llI'll be out of my headphones in
and I'll be, I don't know, doingthe dishes, and he'll come in
and say something to me andhe'll say this is one of those
moments that you just need to bealone, isn't it?
And I'm like, yes, and that,and he knows that about me,
(40:28):
about me now.
So that's, for me, the biggestgift that I give myself is
moments of quiet, of being aloneand also cleaning.
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
Okay, All right, I am not.
I am not.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
well, it is, I'm not a clean freak by any means, but
I think, when there is chaoshappening, having an a space
that feels comfortable andorganized and the really cool
thing about cleaning is it'ssomething that you can do and
see.
So I spend so much time in thisworld, I'll be giving you a hug
(41:07):
right now.
Okay, totally, yeah, yeah, thisisn't weird.
Speaker 1 (41:10):
I'm like I get that.
I mean I like an orderly placetoo.
Yeah, she'll be like, okay,I'll be like, do you want to go
away?
Like we've talked about hergoing away and just getting her
hotel.
And she's like what if I stayedhere and just clean?
Speaker 2 (41:20):
Yeah, what if you guys went away?
Yeah, yeah, right, yeah, yeah.
And I think I spend so muchtime in this headspace of
(41:42):
dreaming and of thinking big andof honestly not knowing how to
accomplish all that I want toaccomplish and that gives me so
much energy and drive in yourimmediate space and creating an
environment that feels peacefuland controllable, so that then
you're right back into that.
You know that, that headspaceof being able to think in a
totally different way.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
So this perfect day for you might not even mean
leaving the house at all.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
Yeah, right.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
Are you an introvert?
Speaker 2 (42:11):
No, I wouldn't say that I am.
I would say I'm.
I'm more of an extrovert, but Ido appreciate.
I appreciate solitude at times.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
Even extroverts need that, oh, let's get alone, let's
yeah.
Like finally it catches up toyou after a while, yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:27):
But I'll say the other.
You know, my husband and I, ourperfect date night is probably
doing a project together.
We've renovated both the homesthat we've owned together and
little things like that, that,that sense of accomplishment and
and we do projects really welltogether.
Speaker 1 (42:43):
We have a lot of a lot of fun with all of that.
Yeah, no, no, you're good.
No, dude, don't worry about it.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
And then I even think the moments when I pull my kids
in is probably watching.
You know you mentioned themgrowing up.
How beautiful that is, watchingthose moments where they're
discovering who they are and asense of freedom and how it's
just.
There's nothing like it.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
Yeah, yeah, that's great.
So so, in terms of like, say,sparking your creativity, do you
need those moments, do thoselook different, or does that
kind of come in?
Hey, I'm cleaning, you know,and I'm getting ideas, or like,
whether you're writing a keynotespeech or thinking of creative
ways with the charity, um, arethere things you do that for me?
I'll just.
It's walking in nature, like ifI'm like I need ideas, that's
(43:30):
what I can't do.
It's sitting in front of mylaptop, you know, jogging
doesn't help, like driving kindof helps, but walking in nature,
do you have something?
That's just like the idea tostart to come easy.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
Yeah, it's actually if, when I am laying in bed at
night, it takes me forever tofall asleep.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
but I have written entire keynote speeches and I
think it's a silence thing thereis.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
There is no distraction, it is dark, it is
silent.
It's just you and your thoughts, and those are probably the
moments where my best ideas havehave come to me, or or my best
speeches have have come to me.
Yeah, yeah, the out walking.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
I love that, but I'm constantly taking in the world
around me which then becomes adistraction for me the laying in
bed at night.
Sometimes I have had manystroke of genius.
Speaker 2 (44:18):
And I remember them the next day.
Some people are like I don'tremember what I think about in
the middle of the night.
Speaker 1 (44:22):
You don't get up and write them down or anything.
I don't, no.
Speaker 2 (44:24):
I do remember I rehearse them.
I'll come up with the idea.
I mean, I will spend hoursrehearsing whatever.
If it's a keynote, I will justrehearse and rehearse and
rehearse.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
And then I'm tired the next day, but also energized
by that midnight breakthrough.
Speaker 1 (44:41):
Wow, Okay.
So you know, if people are likeneed a keynote speaker, it's
Mary Messner.
Yeah.
She's in Kansas City, buttravels all over.
Yeah, so what's?
What's your website, mary?
Or?
Speaker 2 (44:52):
mary messner mary messnercom.
Speaker 1 (44:54):
it's so good to get your name, isn't it?
Yes, yes when did you get yourwebsite?
Speaker 2 (44:59):
well, my website started out as highline creative
group okay, I'll I'll give youmy, my backstory there my my
business, llc, is highlinecreative group because the
creative part again is just it'simportant to me that all of
this is a creative process, howyou dream, how you feel about
things.
And when I started that company, everybody said, oh, creative,
(45:22):
you're an ad agency, you're agraphic design firm, and I was
fighting that.
Speaker 1 (45:26):
I see yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:27):
I rebranded more publicly as Mary Messner so I
still do work.
When I'm doing consulting typeof work, I do that as Highline
Creative Group.
When I'm speaking, it's allbranded as me You're hiring me.
So website I mean, I think Igot that two and a half years
ago.
I mean, I have a lot ofwebsites that I had the midnight
(45:47):
idea and I'm like I'm going toregister it.
Speaker 1 (45:49):
It seems like today it'd be like cause I got Devin
Henderson, like 20 years ago.
It just seems like today.
Like you know, in recent years,if like all the names have been
taken because people have justeaten them up so they can sell
them.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
So that's cool that you got your name.
Speaker 1 (46:07):
You know, that's that's awesome, Well cool.
Okay, so there it is Do youneed your people to create the
unexpected?
Well, they can innovate bydreaming, feeling, doing.
You got it.
It comes down to creativityinnovation.
I love that.
It's really abouttransformation and chasing those
dreams so awesome.
Well, thanks for coming ontoday.
Speaker 2 (46:27):
Thanks for having me Really appreciate you being here
.
Speaker 1 (46:28):
We'll have to do it again sometime.
I'd love to.
Yeah, we'll find out what'sgoing on.
We'll do a part two with Mary,Okay, awesome.
Well, before we wrap up and Ido have one final question for
you.
You would have heard it, Iasked Jason the same question
earlier, so maybe you've hadsome time to process for hosting
us here.
Also, visit Mudwater.
(46:51):
Go to the show notes, Click onthe link, See if it's right for
you.
And yeah, don't forget to like,subscribe, share, comment.
That really helps us to extendour reach and people who need to
dream big.
This message will be great forthem.
So, all right, before we signoff, you know this is helpful
because you have daughters, sono doubt, and you're a keynote
(47:13):
speaker.
So if my daughters were righthere, what's one thing you would
tell them?
Speaker 2 (47:19):
I think that I would say what you bring to this world
is important and necessary andvaluable and it looks just like
it looks for you.
You don't have to change to beto be someone else or morph
(47:41):
yourself to try and fit intosomebody else's definition of
who you're supposed to be, andI'll.
I'll expand that to the idea ofconfidence, because that's a
big topic for young girls and weoftentimes consider confidence
as similar to leadership.
Loudest person in the room, theperson that can stand on stage
(48:02):
without getting nervous and alsoconfidence is dancing in your
room for your daughters that aredancers when nobody's watching,
and just having full expressionof who you are.
That takes confidence.
Or the parent that loves toread bedtime stories to their
(48:22):
kiddos in silly voices thattakes confidence.
So for a young girl to findthose moments where she feels
100% confident and, as a parent,to celebrate those and help her
see that that's, that's alsosomething that she should
celebrate for herself.
If she can latch onto that,that'll carry her for a long
(48:45):
time.
Speaker 1 (48:46):
That's great, my I don't know if I'll be able to
find it my daughter Eva, she'sseven.
I have notes You'll see.
Look at my girl talk notes.
Look at that.
I have these girl talk notesthat go, I just write down their
name, their age.
Oh, it's right at the top.
Eva said dad, if I have my ownroom, I'm going to dance
whenever I want, even at night,I'm going to practice my dance
moves.
Speaker 2 (49:05):
I love it.
I know, isn't that?
Speaker 1 (49:06):
funny that it's like that she's thinking if I were
alone and no one was watching,this is what I would do, and
that's exactly what you justsaid you know and how confident.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
She feels so confident there, yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:16):
And it's like, oh, you want them to just like hang
on to that embrace that you know, yes, so thank you.
Speaker 2 (49:28):
And when you're in different environments.
But being really honest aboutthat moment that you feel
incredibly confident, Let thatcarry you.
Speaker 1 (49:35):
Love that.
That's so great, thank you.
All right, mary, thank you forjoining, appreciate you being
here.
We're going to sign off with akind of that question.
You know you ask what if I askwhat else is possible?
Same thing.
So, excuse me, I'll say whatelse you say is possible and
we'll let we'll let the audiencetake that question and run with
it today, all right, so here wego, embrace the possibility
mindset, which means that younever stop asking the question
(49:57):
what else is possible?
We will see you next time.
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