November 9, 2023 • 28 mins
PLEASE READ!
Please note that The Post Concussion Podcast has been closed for new episodes as of early 2024. Concussion Connect is also closed.
Thank you to everyone who was so supportive over the years and I hope these episodes continue to help others as they come across them!
I have set on a new venture (with a pen name - Izzy Barry) you can learn more about here
https://izzybarry.substack.com/
--
This conversation isn't just about the physical implications of concussion, but the emotional ones too. We unwrap the stigmatization of antidepressants, the isolation that comes with anxiety, and the deep feelings of loneliness and guilt that sometimes accompany the journey towards recovery. Ben's story is a testament to the power of a strong support system. From anxiety-induced cancellation of social events to the struggle of finding the right treatment, his candor and vulnerability shed light on an often overlooked aspect of living with a concussion.
Today, we also talk about Ben’s injury, the different therapies he has tried, what therapies and medication have worked for him, the importance of a support group, and much more! Tune in to hear more from today’s inspirational guest, Benjamin Morton!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Bella Paige (00:05):
Hi, I'm your host, Bella Paige, and welcome to the
Post-Concussion Podcast.
All about life afterexperiencing a concussion.
Help us make the invisibleinjury become visible.
The Post-Concussion Podcast isstrictly an information podcast
(00:26):
about concussions andpost-concussion syndrome.
It does not provide norsubstitute for professional
medical advice, diagnosis ortreatment.
Always seek the advice of yourphysician or another qualified
health provider with anyquestions you may have regarding
a medical condition.
Never disregard professionalmedical advice or delay in
(00:46):
seeking it because of somethingyou have heard on this podcast.
The opinions expressed in thispodcast are simply intended to
spark discussion aboutconcussions and post-concussion
syndrome.
(01:29):
Hi everyone, welcome to episodenumber 123.
This is a repeat episode fromwell over a year ago with one of
our most listened to podcastepisodes.
This is also a special episodeas Ben is coming back on the
podcast for a follow up episodesoon.
I am so excited for a follow upseries coming soon for you to
hear progress from past guestswho are survivors.
(01:51):
Also, next week, on Monday,november 13th, I am giving a
talk for the Brain InjurySociety of Toronto, and it's
free to join, so check the linkin our show notes.
So let's get to the new episode.
Well, an old one, but a goodone.
Ben suffered a TBI while on awork trip in 2015.
His injured self left himbereft of his old life as he
(02:14):
endured the loss of his livingsituation, romantic partner and
friends and, ultimately, hisindependence.
Ben recently moved back toPortland, oregon, where he
spends his free time running,making music and petting every
dog that crosses his path.
Ben is by no means completelyhealed, nor does he operate
under any assumption that hesomeday will be, though he is
(02:37):
finally jumping back into theworkforce.
After six years ofindescribable pain and
hopelessness, ben wishes sobadly that he could go back to
2015 and the years that fall outand speak to his old self.
And while he understands thathe can't, ben feels fortunate to
be in a position to help otherswho are currently in the abyss,
(02:57):
as he once was.
Welcome to the show, ben.
Ben Morton (03:01):
Hey, thanks for having me, Bella.
Bella Paige (03:03):
So to start, do you want to tell everyone a little
bit about your concussion injury?
Ben Morton (03:07):
Yeah, absolutely.
My injury took place in NewYork City.
It was October of 2015 and Iwas on a work trip and I was at
what was called the New YorkCity Pavilion.
I was just floating around andit was close to my lunch break
and I had a coworker notify methat there were some free
sandwiches.
I had a tent just like rightoutside the building and I love
(03:28):
free sandwiches, I love food.
So I enthusiastically ran outthe door and it was a rainy day
in New York and I took a prettysharp left turn around a brick
building and ran straight intoan ill-placed steel light
fixture and hit the front of myhead on it and then, subsequent
to that, hit the back of my headon the ground below.
(03:50):
And that was kind of the beforeand after line in my life, I
guess, and at the time I think Iwas just unconscious for a very
brief amount of time, just afew seconds.
I remember opening my eyes andmy coworker, russ, was just
right beside me making sure Iwas okay and I thought my teeth
had fallen out, like that's.
What's so strange is that onimpact is almost like my jaw
(04:11):
kept going on without me and Ijust was like shaking out of
control and that went on for anhour and a half.
But luckily it was on the siteof where the New York City
marathon was being held.
So they had some medics on sitewho came over and did the pretty
typical concussion check andthey recommended that I go to
urgent care.
I did not follow that advice.
(04:32):
I just spent the next hourtrying to call my body town and
went back to our listing that wewere staying at in Manhattan
and at the time we thought itwas really kind of funny,
because usually when I tell thepeople the story they're like,
it elicits two responses.
One is were you drunk, which Iwasn't, I was working and I was
sober and the other being if Iever got to eat the sandwich,
(04:53):
which unfortunately I didn't getto do that.
Bella Paige (04:56):
Yeah, well, it's so interesting because injuries
they just happen everywhere.
Whenever people hearconcussions, they think sports
or something.
It's like the first thing theycome to the mind, and I always
have to remind them that it'sreally not just sports, it's
every walk of life, like youwalking around a corner and it's
(05:18):
kind of everywhere, and wedon't always realize that it's
falls and slips walking intothings, things flying in the air
at us.
We've had quite a variety ofguests so far with a variety of
injuries.
And you said you didn't go toER, which actually isn't that
rare.
A lot of people don't, becausethey don't realize that
anything's that serious.
They're like oh well, I didn'tfeel great, but it's not like I
(05:42):
had a broken bone, so why wouldI go yeah, exactly, yeah.
So the mindset's different.
So you said that's kind of whenyour life changed.
So what kind of life changesdid you deal with since your
injury?
Ben Morton (05:53):
Yeah, so shortly after that I went back to
Portland a few days after and myfamily and close friends knew
something was off.
I was having sensitivity tolight.
I couldn't work at my computer.
That was where my jaw was being.
I read a computer about eightto 10 hours a day.
I couldn't do that.
I was having brain fog andunfortunately for me, that
resulted in me having toeventually resign from my job
(06:15):
and move back in with my parentsdown in Salem, which was just
an hour south of where I'd beenliving and gone to college and
worked.
But yeah, I guess theexperience for me was I at first
I was dealing with sensitivityto light and brain fog, some
nausea, some of those classicsymptoms, I think, and then
those, for the most part, reallystarted to clear up in about a
(06:35):
month or two.
But I was still having theseawful headaches and almost felt
like an ice pick in my neck, andthose were the two most clear
symptoms, along with some visionproblems.
I was diagnosed with somepretty severe conversions
insufficiency, unfortunately,the headaches and the neck pain
and the vision those ones Istill deal with daily.
But I'm able to manage themmuch, much better.
Bella Paige (06:57):
Yeah for sure.
Having to resign from work ishard, and especially moving back
in with your parents.
I'm sure you can attest Onceyou've lived on your own.
I know I've moved back in withmy parents when I got sick and
then also when I was in betweenhouses, and that was the worst
(07:19):
thing.
Yeah, totally, it's great, butit's like you're so used to
having your own space and all ofa sudden that's gone.
Ben Morton (07:29):
I love my parents.
It's like a hit.
Bella Paige (07:30):
Yeah, yeah, that's what's tough, it doesn't matter.
You can love them and still notwant to live.
Ben Morton (07:35):
No, and thanks mom and dad for all of your support.
But yeah, they're the sweetestfolks.
But yeah, I think that's just areally huge adjustment to make
when you've already, as you said, have left the nest.
Bella Paige (07:47):
Yeah, I love my parents, and even living with
them isn't that bad, but it'sstill not the same.
So after that injury and thensymptoms started to continue,
what type of therapies have youtried?
Ben Morton (08:00):
So I saw a few doctors right off the bat and
they typically gave mepainkillers, which is really
terrible, and I hate to knowthat right now there's people
who are having concussions andthat's the first thing they're
being treated with.
I was often prescribed withphysical therapy, which is great
.
I think that's oftentimes agreat place to start, but I did
that.
Luckily, I was able toeventually leave the painkillers
(08:22):
.
I couldn't sleep Before theinjury.
I could sleep so well.
It was just something that cameso easily.
I took some benzodiazepines.
I was on Ativan and I guessthat's what's really still sad
sometimes is if I go through areally hard time with pain.
I got to revisit thatmedication which, unfortunately,
on top of the brain fog youalready have from a concussion,
it's just kind of compounds.
That and I guess I would say isif you can avoid benzos, please
(08:46):
do Along with that outside of,I guess, in the medication realm
.
Yeah, I did Botox, imetrex,amavig.
Not a whole lot of success withany of those and not to this
way.
They knew I'm from trying them.
I think they can be reallybeneficial for certain people.
But I did chiropractic care, Idid vision therapy.
I saw an acupuncturist probablythe most bizarre treatment I
got.
He sliced my foot with ascalpel, thinking it would
(09:08):
relieve pressure in my head.
So yeah, I don't know.
He's not sure if he's a sadistor something.
Bella Paige (09:13):
I never had that happen.
No, I've done acupuncture withelectrodes, so they did needles
pulse, but no knives.
Ben Morton (09:23):
No knives, I know, I'm just curious, like let's try
something.
That was the last time I sawthat, yeah, such a long list of
treatments, that, yeah, a lot ofmedications I'm trying to think
any depressants.
I went on severalantidepressants that oftentimes
I think like those are toughbecause they it was just like a
side effect was wasn't eventheir main purpose.
(09:45):
Sorry, I've not to get muddy inthat, but yeah, you're not the
only one.
Bella Paige (09:49):
A lot of survivors, lots of people go on
antidepressants.
Lots of people consider it andthen don't go that way and it's
tough because there's a lot ofstigma around it, but they
really can help and I definitelythink they exist for a reason.
And so out of all the thingsyou tried, like getting your
foot kind of open that remindsme so the craziest one I ever
(10:13):
went to I called it a witchdoctor and she was an allergy
specialist and my dad had beentold by a few people that she
had, like, cured things for them.
You know, our family membersare distant cousins and he's
like, well, it's worth a shot.
So we went to this lady's houseand she had all these vials and
(10:34):
so I thought I was going to gettested with all these things
and it seemed like a good way toreduce some symptoms, because
we figured maybe I'm allergic tosome things and if we can
reduce anything in my life formy brain just to calm down, then
it was worth it.
So all these vials and what shedid she held my hands.
I had to hold my thumb and twoof my fingers together and then
(10:58):
she would tap the vials on mywrist, but she didn't open them.
They were sealed.
And then, if my hand broke open, she said I had a reaction.
But like I always felt like shewas forcing my fingers to open
and my face during this, likethis was a few hours and my
dad's sitting in the corner andhe's like laughing and he's like
(11:18):
she doesn't really believe inthis stuff.
She's pretty scientific base,Like I like evidence based
theories and he's laughing sohard in the corner.
And then at the end she tookall these vials, put them on
some metal plate and then tap mewith a wand.
Oh my God, You're like thatreally helps, okay, I like
wanted to just run out but likewe paid, like this was not cheap
(11:40):
and it wasn't what my dadthought it was.
It wasn't what I thought it wasAllergy specialist.
This was not expected, but it'sso funny because the things
that you're willing to try whenyou're suffering is just pretty
much anything Like.
You're just like oh yeah, whynot, Right?
Oh?
Ben Morton (12:00):
my gosh.
I bumped up against that everytime, which was like I was at
the end of my rope and I reallywas just willing to try
everything in it.
It's kind of a dangerousthought to be, because I don't
know, my parents always had theexpression like when you have a
hammer, everything's a nail, andI think I'd go to see people
who really their expertise wasnot within the realm of head
injuries and TVIs, but yet theyfelt very confident.
Bella Paige (12:20):
It's funny because what I learned was, anytime I
walked into a new medicalprofessional or professional of
some sort, if the first thingthey said within the first 20
minutes was that they could 100%make me better and I wouldn't
have to worry about this anymore, I would never see them again
(12:41):
because that was too confidentfor me.
You're like the science isn'tthere yet.
That's a lot of confidence.
How about you just tell meyou're going to help, but don't
tell me you know 100% this willall be better?
And it's like okay, I've beendoing this for a long time.
I've seen specialists talk tosome of the top researchers in
the world and that makes menervous.
(13:01):
No, never someone tells you I'mgoing to fix you maybe go in
the other direction.
Ben Morton (13:08):
Quick way to tease out the liars yeah.
Bella Paige (13:11):
So, out of all the crazy things you tried, what do
you think helped best?
Ben Morton (13:16):
Gosh, you know kind of like what you're saying.
There was never like a quickflipping of the switch.
And it's so strange talking toyou now because I imagine if you
took Ben from 2016 and had himlistening to this, he'd be like
what, what did he try?
Like I need, he's looking forthat epiphany and I wish I could
just give one thing.
That's been like a breakthrough.
Yeah, you and I talked aboutthis, but like a head injury is
(13:38):
such a multi-headed monster andfor me, my, my symptoms were
like headaches, neck pain, jawpain, brain fog, vision.
So I think for the neck,there's this thing called an oxy
pivot.
But it's really great if youwant traction on your neck and
if you're like me, you just wantto purchase something that's
cheap.
That's like, hey, maybe thatcould help and that's what
you're looking for.
That's a great place to startand I think my sister and my mom
(13:59):
for introducing me to that.
I think running I couldn't runafter my injury.
That was something I reallyenjoyed before, any form of
exercise really but after a yearor two after my injury, I was
able to run again withoutthrowing up and being really
dizzy.
Exercise is huge, I think.
Now there's so much knowledgeand literature around your
autonomic nervous system andtrying to calm down your body,
(14:22):
because I think if you've had ahead injury, typically you're
just like alwaysover-adrenalized and I think
exercise is a great way to getback to a more stable place.
I think that's huge.
It's tough with some of thesethings because some of these, I
guess treatments you can'treally pursue until maybe you're
replaced at do them again.
But another thing is reading,if you can.
I couldn't read after my injury, as well as Me neither.
(14:46):
Yeah, and it's still a struggle.
But there's one book calledBack in Control that was kind of
my pain Bible, as well as theBody Keeps a Score.
That one's a little morepopular and I think the more you
can learn about obviouslyspecifically head injuries,
because it's as huge as you canget, as specific with that as
possible, but also just pain andrealizing why and trying to
(15:06):
carry on with your life withthat pain.
It's hard but I think there's alot of professionals and both
those books helped me immenselyin that realm.
Bella Paige (15:14):
You know what, If it works for you.
I believe that's all thatmatters and I think it's
important to share everything.
I know there was one pointdoctors had me in a neck brace.
Actually, Whenever my headacheswere really bad, they would
want me to wear a neck brace forlike a certain amount of time
to relieve pressure off my neck,and I do remember it helping.
but also I did not like wearingthe neck brace because I found
(15:38):
them so uncomfortable when I hada lot of neck problems At the
start.
It did relieve a lot ofpressure, especially in the back
of my head.
I would feel it after I worethe neck brace it would feel
better.
And so you know what, sometimesthose little things are worth
trying because they don't have alot of negative consequences if
they don't work.
(15:58):
So it doesn't really matter ifyou try it or you don't, but it
doesn't hurt you, which I kindof like.
Those types of things.
I talk about those lots on thepodcast.
It's nice to try things thathave a limited side effect,
because if they're like me, Iget every side effect in the
book and it's nice that youshare all of the books and
(16:20):
things like that.
Like you said, understandingwhat you're going through can be
really helpful and it can bereally helpful for the mental
side of things, and we'reactually going to get into the
mental side of things next.
But with that we're going totake a quick break.
Support the podcast.
(16:41):
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Welcome back to the PostConcussion Podcast with my self
Bella Paige and today's guest,Ben Morton.
(17:03):
Something we're going to talkabout now is the emotional side
of things, because it's kind ofmy favorite part of all this,
because I don't think it'stalked about enough, and so you
already mentioned that not beingable to sleep was something you
weren't expecting.
What else surprised you aboutexperiencing a concussion?
Ben Morton (17:24):
Yeah, I'm so glad we're talking about this.
This is always the stuff that Iwant there to be more light
shed on.
But I think for me it was sotough, belle.
It was like I was so socialprior to my injury, not only
with my coworkers but with myfamily and my close friends, and
that's really tough.
I think I had some personalitychanges and along with those I
would just become so anxious andso depressed and I think I
(17:46):
definitely had some history withanxiety and depression, but
nothing to that extent and thatseverity.
But after my injury I would goto hang out with friends and I
would be so rattled it wasalmost like I was going to
present.
I never loved public speaking,so I think that's how my body
treated it.
Even if I was going to go seetwo friends, I would never
before get nervous around.
I would just be shaking almostuncontrollably and sadly.
(18:10):
That would result in me justeither canceling or showing up
for just 10 minutes and havingto just bow out and go to a dark
room with like an ice pack or awarm compress.
And I think that's the saddestthing about this injury
sometimes is it's really lonelyand I think I felt a lot of
shame and guilt around my injury.
I think I still do and I'mworking on that.
I definitely need to continuegoing to therapy for that.
(18:33):
But yeah, I think that's thetoughest part is you just want
to connect with humans and thisinjury because it's so lonely
but you almost can.
It's like your body and yourmind are huge hindrance to that.
And yeah, sorry not to.
Bella Paige (18:44):
No, no, it's okay, we get really dark and deep.
Yeah, I know.
Ben Morton (18:48):
I guess, a lot.
Bella Paige (18:49):
Actually, as my brother told me, he's like some
of it's really dark and some ofit's not.
I'm like, yeah, it's a happybalance because that's kind of
what the injury is and, like yousaid, it is very isolating and
it really can be because, well,one your brain is kind of
telling you that you're usuallythe only person on the world
experiencing this.
I don't know how that happens,but that's often how it feels.
(19:12):
It kind of feels like everyoneelse around you is carrying on
and you're not and you can't,and no matter what you do, or
maybe you push really hard for afew months or a few weeks and
then you crash and then yourealize that you're not healthy
and you know it's a viciouscycle that you can get put in
with this and is really tough todeal with and the emotional
things are not easy.
(19:34):
And one of my favorite thingsthat you actually said to me
when we talked before was thatyou couldn't see the next page
in the book and I really likedthat line and I think it was a
really good way to explain this.
And do you want to touch alittle bit on how that felt?
Ben Morton (19:51):
Yeah, you know I can't help but think of my
family and my girlfriend now myclose friends.
It's like I always tell them,like they helped me see through
to the next page.
And I'll be really candid aboutI had some suicidal lows.
I did.
I didn't want to live and earlyon in the injury I was wearing
the same clothes all the time.
I wasn't seeing my friends, Ismelled bad.
(20:11):
I had the luxury and the safetynet of my parents to keep me
from having to deal with thereally harder consequence of
having to be withdrawn from yourlife.
But I think I just owe so muchto them I can't report to be
where I'm at today because ofmyself, like it's.
I feel like they put me ontheir backs and I owe those
people that support group, thatsupport system, sorry to help me
(20:34):
see through to that next page.
And I think you're right.
Like I, there's so many times inthis injury you just have to
chop up your time, like I guessI'm just going to wake up
tomorrow and be excited aboutcoffee, and or maybe you can't
have coffee because this injury,but sometimes I couldn't, and
so maybe it's like I'm justgoing to wake up tomorrow and
like, go listen to some birdsoutside.
And there's a lot of momentslike that from me where it's
(20:54):
like how do I wake up that nextday I have no purpose?
You know, I felt robbed ofthese parts of my life and it's
not because you look around andall your friends get to carry on
with things and they're gettingmarried or getting jobs and
doing all of the instrumentalthings in life that are really
fun to celebrate that you'remissing out on.
But I guess on that I just saytrust the timing.
I always see that like it's onthe internet somewhere, but just
(21:15):
trust the timing of your life,which is a little silly, but
really it's.
It's a huge sentiment that Ithink we all need to absorb.
Bella Paige (21:22):
Yeah, and I like that you mentioned how
supportive your family was,because I mentioned that a few
times on the show that my familywas overly supportive.
You know, they're alwayschecking on if I was okay.
They're always trying to findtherapies and things for me to
go to.
They're still like that to thisday.
They're always kind of checkingin and something that we offer
(21:46):
now is King Cushion Connect andthat is a support group for
everyone, because some peopledon't have that family, we don't
all have that support network,so we're trying to create that
virtually across the worldinstead, so that people still
have someone to reach out to andsomeone who understands what
you're going through.
Because, despite the fact thatI had that support group, they
(22:08):
didn't understand and they triedLike they tried very hard to
know what I was going through,but they couldn't know, they
didn't go through it, and so atleast they didn't go through it
the same way.
They definitely went throughsome of it.
Ben Morton (22:21):
Yeah, no, absolutely no.
That's huge.
I'm so glad you're doing it.
Bella Paige (22:25):
Yeah, and you mentioned the suicidal thoughts
and things and a lot of peoplewho've listened to the show know
that I am an attempted suicidesurvivor and I think it's
important for people to realizethat you can have that support
network and still feel that way.
It's not.
People always think, oh, youhave a great family, you have
siblings, you have a partnerLike why were you depressed?
(22:48):
And people don't alwaysunderstand that those things are
great and they can help youpull out of those deep thoughts,
but they don't always preventthem.
So lots of people in your lifethat might be suffering.
It's important to check in onthem because just because it
seems like they have a bigsupport network doesn't mean
like they're feeling okay.
Ben Morton (23:09):
Yeah, absolutely.
Bella Paige (23:11):
You said you felt robbed.
Can you explain a little bitmore of how that felt?
Ben Morton (23:17):
Yeah, I think I just was.
So I had grown so accustomed tomy life you know just the
routine of it and having the job.
At the time I was in arelationship and I lived with my
brother and his amazing wifeand I sort of just had this like
life that I'd come to know inPortland and slowly all of that
was ripped from me.
And I think now I can speak in away.
(23:40):
It was so difficult at the time, it was really bitter at the
time and I think I saw myselfstrictly as a victim and I think
there was a lot of thatmentality.
But I also think there's justso much hurt and there's so much
pain and I was covered in a lotof lies about myself and I
think everyone does this to anextent.
But we kind of measureourselves up to the people and I
think it's really difficultwhen you have nothing to report.
(24:02):
With this injury, it's likeyou're just trying to like, hold
your ground, you're just tryingto hold steady as best you can
and you're treading water.
And I think that's what's toughis you talk to people who maybe
months later want to reconnectand they have all these fun
things, these shiny things toreport, and you probably are
just excited to be there, youknow, talking to them, and not
(24:22):
just having like an ice pack onyour neck in the dark or whatnot
.
That's fair.
Bella Paige (24:26):
How was your week?
My week was in bed, so you knowthat it's tough.
I know I had a tough time withit.
I had a lot of anger andresentment towards a lot of
those things.
And it's tough because you saylike you kind of feel like all
these moments in your life aresupposed to happen at that point
and then they don't.
And it's a really commonfeeling right now, with COVID
(24:49):
and all that's going on in theworld right now, that the world
is like living with a concussionand you are isolated and you
are distant from people and youdon't have that much to report
on because you haven't done thatmuch.
Ben Morton (25:05):
Well exactly, there's no pretending.
I think that kind of leveledthe playing field of like OK,
now we can all stop pretendingand putting up the facade.
Bella Paige (25:14):
Yeah, for sure.
And so you went through allthat, and it's been a few years.
So where are you at now?
How are things?
Ben Morton (25:22):
Yeah, I'm living back in Portland, which is so
exciting.
Even a year ago, bella, if youasked me that, I'd be like
there's no way.
So I'm living back in Portland.
I still talk to my parents.
We're still close.
It's not like the way we cutties.
I'm starting a new job actuallyMonday it's just about four or
five days from now and that'sthe first time I've jumped back
into the workforce.
(25:42):
In about six years I've donelittle silly jobs of like
watching people's houses andwalking dogs and things like
that, but this is a huge win forme in that world and it's for
anyone listening who would likefeels like oh, I don't have a
job, so my worth isn't there.
That's so not true.
I can't say that enough.
It's weird.
I'm going to work again but Irealized my worth didn't like
(26:04):
maybe there was a temporaryboost in my like serotonin, but
I'm not like.
Oh my gosh, my worth is backand I'm riding off into the
sunset.
So there's not that.
But I am living with my amazinggirlfriend who tolerates my
symptoms.
That's not really sweet and Iam socially immersed in a way
that I wasn't years ago, whichis great.
Bella Paige (26:25):
I think it's so great that you're getting back
to work and you're right.
A lot of the time I think it'sjust a society thing, especially
in North America, that yourcareer is who you are.
A lot of people put a lot ofidentity on their career, like
if this is what they do for aliving.
That tells you everything aboutthem and it's definitely not
(26:46):
true.
But it's definitely a commonmisconception about how our
world runs.
I know it's like when you firstmeet someone or you talk to
someone within the first hourone of the things they ask is
what do you do for a living?
It's such a common question andI don't think people think much
about it.
It's just like what do you do?
Because you know everyone worksand we can't all work all the
(27:08):
time.
I've had to take a lot of breaksfrom a lot of things and, like
I told my girlfriend the otherday because I ended up in the
hospital, I said I wouldn't likemy health to stop directing
where my life can go.
And it's tough sometimes andthings get better and things
improve Like I never thought I'dbe doing this.
But things can improve, thingscan get better, but it is a
(27:33):
roller coaster to get there, andyou just have to keep going one
day at a time.
So, ben, is there anything elseyou would like to add before we
end today's episode?
Ben Morton (27:42):
You know, I think I'll just ask people to be
gentle with themselves andextend some grace to themselves.
I know that's hard.
I'm still working on that, Ithink.
Just be so patient, just bepatient with yourself and try to
, just as you said, take it dayby day and take as much pressure
off of yourself as you can,because it really is a marathon
and it's going to be some upsand downs.
(28:02):
It's just the good things willcome and yeah, just hang in
there please.
Bella Paige (28:07):
Well, I just want to thank you so much for joining
us today and sharing your lifepost concussion.
Ben Morton (28:14):
Hey, thank you so much for having me, Bella.
Bella Paige (28:19):
Has your life been affected by concussions?
Join our podcast by getting intouch.
Thank you so much for listeningto the post concussion podcast
and be sure to help us educatethe world about the reality of
concussions by giving us a shareTo learn more.
Don't forget to subscribe.
Hi, I'm your host, Bella Paige, and welcome to the
Post-Concussion Podcast.
All about life afterexperiencing a concussion.
Help us make the invisibleinjury become visible.
The Post-Concussion Podcast isstrictly an information podcast
(00:26):
about concussions andpost-concussion syndrome.
It does not provide norsubstitute for professional
medical advice, diagnosis ortreatment.
Always seek the advice of yourphysician or another qualified
health provider with anyquestions you may have regarding
a medical condition.
Never disregard professionalmedical advice or delay in
(00:46):
seeking it because of somethingyou have heard on this podcast.
The opinions expressed in thispodcast are simply intended to
spark discussion aboutconcussions and post-concussion
syndrome.
(01:29):
Hi everyone, welcome to episodenumber 123.
This is a repeat episode fromwell over a year ago with one of
our most listened to podcastepisodes.
This is also a special episodeas Ben is coming back on the
podcast for a follow up episodesoon.
I am so excited for a follow upseries coming soon for you to
hear progress from past guestswho are survivors.
(01:51):
Also, next week, on Monday,november 13th, I am giving a
talk for the Brain InjurySociety of Toronto, and it's
free to join, so check the linkin our show notes.
So let's get to the new episode.
Well, an old one, but a goodone.
Ben suffered a TBI while on awork trip in 2015.
His injured self left himbereft of his old life as he
(02:14):
endured the loss of his livingsituation, romantic partner and
friends and, ultimately, hisindependence.
Ben recently moved back toPortland, oregon, where he
spends his free time running,making music and petting every
dog that crosses his path.
Ben is by no means completelyhealed, nor does he operate
under any assumption that hesomeday will be, though he is
(02:37):
finally jumping back into theworkforce.
After six years ofindescribable pain and
hopelessness, ben wishes sobadly that he could go back to
2015 and the years that fall outand speak to his old self.
And while he understands thathe can't, ben feels fortunate to
be in a position to help otherswho are currently in the abyss,
(02:57):
as he once was.
Welcome to the show, ben.
Ben Morton (03:01):
Hey, thanks for having me, Bella.
Bella Paige (03:03):
So to start, do you want to tell everyone a little
bit about your concussion injury?
Ben Morton (03:07):
Yeah, absolutely.
My injury took place in NewYork City.
It was October of 2015 and Iwas on a work trip and I was at
what was called the New YorkCity Pavilion.
I was just floating around andit was close to my lunch break
and I had a coworker notify methat there were some free
sandwiches.
I had a tent just like rightoutside the building and I love
(03:28):
free sandwiches, I love food.
So I enthusiastically ran outthe door and it was a rainy day
in New York and I took a prettysharp left turn around a brick
building and ran straight intoan ill-placed steel light
fixture and hit the front of myhead on it and then, subsequent
to that, hit the back of my headon the ground below.
(03:50):
And that was kind of the beforeand after line in my life, I
guess, and at the time I think Iwas just unconscious for a very
brief amount of time, just afew seconds.
I remember opening my eyes andmy coworker, russ, was just
right beside me making sure Iwas okay and I thought my teeth
had fallen out, like that's.
What's so strange is that onimpact is almost like my jaw
(04:11):
kept going on without me and Ijust was like shaking out of
control and that went on for anhour and a half.
But luckily it was on the siteof where the New York City
marathon was being held.
So they had some medics on sitewho came over and did the pretty
typical concussion check andthey recommended that I go to
urgent care.
I did not follow that advice.
(04:32):
I just spent the next hourtrying to call my body town and
went back to our listing that wewere staying at in Manhattan
and at the time we thought itwas really kind of funny,
because usually when I tell thepeople the story they're like,
it elicits two responses.
One is were you drunk, which Iwasn't, I was working and I was
sober and the other being if Iever got to eat the sandwich,
(04:53):
which unfortunately I didn't getto do that.
Bella Paige (04:56):
Yeah, well, it's so interesting because injuries
they just happen everywhere.
Whenever people hearconcussions, they think sports
or something.
It's like the first thing theycome to the mind, and I always
have to remind them that it'sreally not just sports, it's
every walk of life, like youwalking around a corner and it's
(05:18):
kind of everywhere, and wedon't always realize that it's
falls and slips walking intothings, things flying in the air
at us.
We've had quite a variety ofguests so far with a variety of
injuries.
And you said you didn't go toER, which actually isn't that
rare.
A lot of people don't, becausethey don't realize that
anything's that serious.
They're like oh well, I didn'tfeel great, but it's not like I
(05:42):
had a broken bone, so why wouldI go yeah, exactly, yeah.
So the mindset's different.
So you said that's kind of whenyour life changed.
So what kind of life changesdid you deal with since your
injury?
Ben Morton (05:53):
Yeah, so shortly after that I went back to
Portland a few days after and myfamily and close friends knew
something was off.
I was having sensitivity tolight.
I couldn't work at my computer.
That was where my jaw was being.
I read a computer about eightto 10 hours a day.
I couldn't do that.
I was having brain fog andunfortunately for me, that
resulted in me having toeventually resign from my job
(06:15):
and move back in with my parentsdown in Salem, which was just
an hour south of where I'd beenliving and gone to college and
worked.
But yeah, I guess theexperience for me was I at first
I was dealing with sensitivityto light and brain fog, some
nausea, some of those classicsymptoms, I think, and then
those, for the most part, reallystarted to clear up in about a
(06:35):
month or two.
But I was still having theseawful headaches and almost felt
like an ice pick in my neck, andthose were the two most clear
symptoms, along with some visionproblems.
I was diagnosed with somepretty severe conversions
insufficiency, unfortunately,the headaches and the neck pain
and the vision those ones Istill deal with daily.
But I'm able to manage themmuch, much better.
Bella Paige (06:57):
Yeah for sure.
Having to resign from work ishard, and especially moving back
in with your parents.
I'm sure you can attest Onceyou've lived on your own.
I know I've moved back in withmy parents when I got sick and
then also when I was in betweenhouses, and that was the worst
(07:19):
thing.
Yeah, totally, it's great, butit's like you're so used to
having your own space and all ofa sudden that's gone.
Ben Morton (07:29):
I love my parents.
It's like a hit.
Bella Paige (07:30):
Yeah, yeah, that's what's tough, it doesn't matter.
You can love them and still notwant to live.
Ben Morton (07:35):
No, and thanks mom and dad for all of your support.
But yeah, they're the sweetestfolks.
But yeah, I think that's just areally huge adjustment to make
when you've already, as you said, have left the nest.
Bella Paige (07:47):
Yeah, I love my parents, and even living with
them isn't that bad, but it'sstill not the same.
So after that injury and thensymptoms started to continue,
what type of therapies have youtried?
Ben Morton (08:00):
So I saw a few doctors right off the bat and
they typically gave mepainkillers, which is really
terrible, and I hate to knowthat right now there's people
who are having concussions andthat's the first thing they're
being treated with.
I was often prescribed withphysical therapy, which is great
.
I think that's oftentimes agreat place to start, but I did
that.
Luckily, I was able toeventually leave the painkillers
(08:22):
.
I couldn't sleep Before theinjury.
I could sleep so well.
It was just something that cameso easily.
I took some benzodiazepines.
I was on Ativan and I guessthat's what's really still sad
sometimes is if I go through areally hard time with pain.
I got to revisit thatmedication which, unfortunately,
on top of the brain fog youalready have from a concussion,
it's just kind of compounds.
That and I guess I would say isif you can avoid benzos, please
(08:46):
do Along with that outside of,I guess, in the medication realm
.
Yeah, I did Botox, imetrex,amavig.
Not a whole lot of success withany of those and not to this
way.
They knew I'm from trying them.
I think they can be reallybeneficial for certain people.
But I did chiropractic care, Idid vision therapy.
I saw an acupuncturist probablythe most bizarre treatment I
got.
He sliced my foot with ascalpel, thinking it would
(09:08):
relieve pressure in my head.
So yeah, I don't know.
He's not sure if he's a sadistor something.
Bella Paige (09:13):
I never had that happen.
No, I've done acupuncture withelectrodes, so they did needles
pulse, but no knives.
Ben Morton (09:23):
No knives, I know, I'm just curious, like let's try
something.
That was the last time I sawthat, yeah, such a long list of
treatments, that, yeah, a lot ofmedications I'm trying to think
any depressants.
I went on severalantidepressants that oftentimes
I think like those are toughbecause they it was just like a
side effect was wasn't eventheir main purpose.
(09:45):
Sorry, I've not to get muddy inthat, but yeah, you're not the
only one.
Bella Paige (09:49):
A lot of survivors, lots of people go on
antidepressants.
Lots of people consider it andthen don't go that way and it's
tough because there's a lot ofstigma around it, but they
really can help and I definitelythink they exist for a reason.
And so out of all the thingsyou tried, like getting your
foot kind of open that remindsme so the craziest one I ever
(10:13):
went to I called it a witchdoctor and she was an allergy
specialist and my dad had beentold by a few people that she
had, like, cured things for them.
You know, our family membersare distant cousins and he's
like, well, it's worth a shot.
So we went to this lady's houseand she had all these vials and
(10:34):
so I thought I was going to gettested with all these things
and it seemed like a good way toreduce some symptoms, because
we figured maybe I'm allergic tosome things and if we can
reduce anything in my life formy brain just to calm down, then
it was worth it.
So all these vials and what shedid she held my hands.
I had to hold my thumb and twoof my fingers together and then
(10:58):
she would tap the vials on mywrist, but she didn't open them.
They were sealed.
And then, if my hand broke open, she said I had a reaction.
But like I always felt like shewas forcing my fingers to open
and my face during this, likethis was a few hours and my
dad's sitting in the corner andhe's like laughing and he's like
(11:18):
she doesn't really believe inthis stuff.
She's pretty scientific base,Like I like evidence based
theories and he's laughing sohard in the corner.
And then at the end she tookall these vials, put them on
some metal plate and then tap mewith a wand.
Oh my God, You're like thatreally helps, okay, I like
wanted to just run out but likewe paid, like this was not cheap
(11:40):
and it wasn't what my dadthought it was.
It wasn't what I thought it wasAllergy specialist.
This was not expected, but it'sso funny because the things
that you're willing to try whenyou're suffering is just pretty
much anything Like.
You're just like oh yeah, whynot, Right?
Oh?
Ben Morton (12:00):
my gosh.
I bumped up against that everytime, which was like I was at
the end of my rope and I reallywas just willing to try
everything in it.
It's kind of a dangerousthought to be, because I don't
know, my parents always had theexpression like when you have a
hammer, everything's a nail, andI think I'd go to see people
who really their expertise wasnot within the realm of head
injuries and TVIs, but yet theyfelt very confident.
Bella Paige (12:20):
It's funny because what I learned was, anytime I
walked into a new medicalprofessional or professional of
some sort, if the first thingthey said within the first 20
minutes was that they could 100%make me better and I wouldn't
have to worry about this anymore, I would never see them again
(12:41):
because that was too confidentfor me.
You're like the science isn'tthere yet.
That's a lot of confidence.
How about you just tell meyou're going to help, but don't
tell me you know 100% this willall be better?
And it's like okay, I've beendoing this for a long time.
I've seen specialists talk tosome of the top researchers in
the world and that makes menervous.
(13:01):
No, never someone tells you I'mgoing to fix you maybe go in
the other direction.
Ben Morton (13:08):
Quick way to tease out the liars yeah.
Bella Paige (13:11):
So, out of all the crazy things you tried, what do
you think helped best?
Ben Morton (13:16):
Gosh, you know kind of like what you're saying.
There was never like a quickflipping of the switch.
And it's so strange talking toyou now because I imagine if you
took Ben from 2016 and had himlistening to this, he'd be like
what, what did he try?
Like I need, he's looking forthat epiphany and I wish I could
just give one thing.
That's been like a breakthrough.
Yeah, you and I talked aboutthis, but like a head injury is
(13:38):
such a multi-headed monster andfor me, my, my symptoms were
like headaches, neck pain, jawpain, brain fog, vision.
So I think for the neck,there's this thing called an oxy
pivot.
But it's really great if youwant traction on your neck and
if you're like me, you just wantto purchase something that's
cheap.
That's like, hey, maybe thatcould help and that's what
you're looking for.
That's a great place to startand I think my sister and my mom
(13:59):
for introducing me to that.
I think running I couldn't runafter my injury.
That was something I reallyenjoyed before, any form of
exercise really but after a yearor two after my injury, I was
able to run again withoutthrowing up and being really
dizzy.
Exercise is huge, I think.
Now there's so much knowledgeand literature around your
autonomic nervous system andtrying to calm down your body,
(14:22):
because I think if you've had ahead injury, typically you're
just like alwaysover-adrenalized and I think
exercise is a great way to getback to a more stable place.
I think that's huge.
It's tough with some of thesethings because some of these, I
guess treatments you can'treally pursue until maybe you're
replaced at do them again.
But another thing is reading,if you can.
I couldn't read after my injury, as well as Me neither.
(14:46):
Yeah, and it's still a struggle.
But there's one book calledBack in Control that was kind of
my pain Bible, as well as theBody Keeps a Score.
That one's a little morepopular and I think the more you
can learn about obviouslyspecifically head injuries,
because it's as huge as you canget, as specific with that as
possible, but also just pain andrealizing why and trying to
(15:06):
carry on with your life withthat pain.
It's hard but I think there's alot of professionals and both
those books helped me immenselyin that realm.
Bella Paige (15:14):
You know what, If it works for you.
I believe that's all thatmatters and I think it's
important to share everything.
I know there was one pointdoctors had me in a neck brace.
Actually, Whenever my headacheswere really bad, they would
want me to wear a neck brace forlike a certain amount of time
to relieve pressure off my neck,and I do remember it helping.
but also I did not like wearingthe neck brace because I found
(15:38):
them so uncomfortable when I hada lot of neck problems At the
start.
It did relieve a lot ofpressure, especially in the back
of my head.
I would feel it after I worethe neck brace it would feel
better.
And so you know what, sometimesthose little things are worth
trying because they don't have alot of negative consequences if
they don't work.
(15:58):
So it doesn't really matter ifyou try it or you don't, but it
doesn't hurt you, which I kindof like.
Those types of things.
I talk about those lots on thepodcast.
It's nice to try things thathave a limited side effect,
because if they're like me, Iget every side effect in the
book and it's nice that youshare all of the books and
(16:20):
things like that.
Like you said, understandingwhat you're going through can be
really helpful and it can bereally helpful for the mental
side of things, and we'reactually going to get into the
mental side of things next.
But with that we're going totake a quick break.
Support the podcast.
(16:41):
If you truly love the podcast,please consider supporting us
through our tip jar.
Find us support the podcastlink in our episode description.
All tips are greatlyappreciated.
Welcome back to the PostConcussion Podcast with my self
Bella Paige and today's guest,Ben Morton.
(17:03):
Something we're going to talkabout now is the emotional side
of things, because it's kind ofmy favorite part of all this,
because I don't think it'stalked about enough, and so you
already mentioned that not beingable to sleep was something you
weren't expecting.
What else surprised you aboutexperiencing a concussion?
Ben Morton (17:24):
Yeah, I'm so glad we're talking about this.
This is always the stuff that Iwant there to be more light
shed on.
But I think for me it was sotough, belle.
It was like I was so socialprior to my injury, not only
with my coworkers but with myfamily and my close friends, and
that's really tough.
I think I had some personalitychanges and along with those I
would just become so anxious andso depressed and I think I
(17:46):
definitely had some history withanxiety and depression, but
nothing to that extent and thatseverity.
But after my injury I would goto hang out with friends and I
would be so rattled it wasalmost like I was going to
present.
I never loved public speaking,so I think that's how my body
treated it.
Even if I was going to go seetwo friends, I would never
before get nervous around.
I would just be shaking almostuncontrollably and sadly.
(18:10):
That would result in me justeither canceling or showing up
for just 10 minutes and havingto just bow out and go to a dark
room with like an ice pack or awarm compress.
And I think that's the saddestthing about this injury
sometimes is it's really lonelyand I think I felt a lot of
shame and guilt around my injury.
I think I still do and I'mworking on that.
I definitely need to continuegoing to therapy for that.
(18:33):
But yeah, I think that's thetoughest part is you just want
to connect with humans and thisinjury because it's so lonely
but you almost can.
It's like your body and yourmind are huge hindrance to that.
And yeah, sorry not to.
Bella Paige (18:44):
No, no, it's okay, we get really dark and deep.
Yeah, I know.
Ben Morton (18:48):
I guess, a lot.
Bella Paige (18:49):
Actually, as my brother told me, he's like some
of it's really dark and some ofit's not.
I'm like, yeah, it's a happybalance because that's kind of
what the injury is and, like yousaid, it is very isolating and
it really can be because, well,one your brain is kind of
telling you that you're usuallythe only person on the world
experiencing this.
I don't know how that happens,but that's often how it feels.
(19:12):
It kind of feels like everyoneelse around you is carrying on
and you're not and you can't,and no matter what you do, or
maybe you push really hard for afew months or a few weeks and
then you crash and then yourealize that you're not healthy
and you know it's a viciouscycle that you can get put in
with this and is really tough todeal with and the emotional
things are not easy.
(19:34):
And one of my favorite thingsthat you actually said to me
when we talked before was thatyou couldn't see the next page
in the book and I really likedthat line and I think it was a
really good way to explain this.
And do you want to touch alittle bit on how that felt?
Ben Morton (19:51):
Yeah, you know I can't help but think of my
family and my girlfriend now myclose friends.
It's like I always tell them,like they helped me see through
to the next page.
And I'll be really candid aboutI had some suicidal lows.
I did.
I didn't want to live and earlyon in the injury I was wearing
the same clothes all the time.
I wasn't seeing my friends, Ismelled bad.
(20:11):
I had the luxury and the safetynet of my parents to keep me
from having to deal with thereally harder consequence of
having to be withdrawn from yourlife.
But I think I just owe so muchto them I can't report to be
where I'm at today because ofmyself, like it's.
I feel like they put me ontheir backs and I owe those
people that support group, thatsupport system, sorry to help me
(20:34):
see through to that next page.
And I think you're right.
Like I, there's so many times inthis injury you just have to
chop up your time, like I guessI'm just going to wake up
tomorrow and be excited aboutcoffee, and or maybe you can't
have coffee because this injury,but sometimes I couldn't, and
so maybe it's like I'm justgoing to wake up tomorrow and
like, go listen to some birdsoutside.
And there's a lot of momentslike that from me where it's
(20:54):
like how do I wake up that nextday I have no purpose?
You know, I felt robbed ofthese parts of my life and it's
not because you look around andall your friends get to carry on
with things and they're gettingmarried or getting jobs and
doing all of the instrumentalthings in life that are really
fun to celebrate that you'remissing out on.
But I guess on that I just saytrust the timing.
I always see that like it's onthe internet somewhere, but just
(21:15):
trust the timing of your life,which is a little silly, but
really it's.
It's a huge sentiment that Ithink we all need to absorb.
Bella Paige (21:22):
Yeah, and I like that you mentioned how
supportive your family was,because I mentioned that a few
times on the show that my familywas overly supportive.
You know, they're alwayschecking on if I was okay.
They're always trying to findtherapies and things for me to
go to.
They're still like that to thisday.
They're always kind of checkingin and something that we offer
(21:46):
now is King Cushion Connect andthat is a support group for
everyone, because some peopledon't have that family, we don't
all have that support network,so we're trying to create that
virtually across the worldinstead, so that people still
have someone to reach out to andsomeone who understands what
you're going through.
Because, despite the fact thatI had that support group, they
(22:08):
didn't understand and they triedLike they tried very hard to
know what I was going through,but they couldn't know, they
didn't go through it, and so atleast they didn't go through it
the same way.
They definitely went throughsome of it.
Ben Morton (22:21):
Yeah, no, absolutely no.
That's huge.
I'm so glad you're doing it.
Bella Paige (22:25):
Yeah, and you mentioned the suicidal thoughts
and things and a lot of peoplewho've listened to the show know
that I am an attempted suicidesurvivor and I think it's
important for people to realizethat you can have that support
network and still feel that way.
It's not.
People always think, oh, youhave a great family, you have
siblings, you have a partnerLike why were you depressed?
(22:48):
And people don't alwaysunderstand that those things are
great and they can help youpull out of those deep thoughts,
but they don't always preventthem.
So lots of people in your lifethat might be suffering.
It's important to check in onthem because just because it
seems like they have a bigsupport network doesn't mean
like they're feeling okay.
Ben Morton (23:09):
Yeah, absolutely.
Bella Paige (23:11):
You said you felt robbed.
Can you explain a little bitmore of how that felt?
Ben Morton (23:17):
Yeah, I think I just was.
So I had grown so accustomed tomy life you know just the
routine of it and having the job.
At the time I was in arelationship and I lived with my
brother and his amazing wifeand I sort of just had this like
life that I'd come to know inPortland and slowly all of that
was ripped from me.
And I think now I can speak in away.
(23:40):
It was so difficult at the time, it was really bitter at the
time and I think I saw myselfstrictly as a victim and I think
there was a lot of thatmentality.
But I also think there's justso much hurt and there's so much
pain and I was covered in a lotof lies about myself and I
think everyone does this to anextent.
But we kind of measureourselves up to the people and I
think it's really difficultwhen you have nothing to report.
(24:02):
With this injury, it's likeyou're just trying to like, hold
your ground, you're just tryingto hold steady as best you can
and you're treading water.
And I think that's what's toughis you talk to people who maybe
months later want to reconnectand they have all these fun
things, these shiny things toreport, and you probably are
just excited to be there, youknow, talking to them, and not
(24:22):
just having like an ice pack onyour neck in the dark or whatnot
.
That's fair.
Bella Paige (24:26):
How was your week?
My week was in bed, so you knowthat it's tough.
I know I had a tough time withit.
I had a lot of anger andresentment towards a lot of
those things.
And it's tough because you saylike you kind of feel like all
these moments in your life aresupposed to happen at that point
and then they don't.
And it's a really commonfeeling right now, with COVID
(24:49):
and all that's going on in theworld right now, that the world
is like living with a concussionand you are isolated and you
are distant from people and youdon't have that much to report
on because you haven't done thatmuch.
Ben Morton (25:05):
Well exactly, there's no pretending.
I think that kind of leveledthe playing field of like OK,
now we can all stop pretendingand putting up the facade.
Bella Paige (25:14):
Yeah, for sure.
And so you went through allthat, and it's been a few years.
So where are you at now?
How are things?
Ben Morton (25:22):
Yeah, I'm living back in Portland, which is so
exciting.
Even a year ago, bella, if youasked me that, I'd be like
there's no way.
So I'm living back in Portland.
I still talk to my parents.
We're still close.
It's not like the way we cutties.
I'm starting a new job actuallyMonday it's just about four or
five days from now and that'sthe first time I've jumped back
into the workforce.
(25:42):
In about six years I've donelittle silly jobs of like
watching people's houses andwalking dogs and things like
that, but this is a huge win forme in that world and it's for
anyone listening who would likefeels like oh, I don't have a
job, so my worth isn't there.
That's so not true.
I can't say that enough.
It's weird.
I'm going to work again but Irealized my worth didn't like
(26:04):
maybe there was a temporaryboost in my like serotonin, but
I'm not like.
Oh my gosh, my worth is backand I'm riding off into the
sunset.
So there's not that.
But I am living with my amazinggirlfriend who tolerates my
symptoms.
That's not really sweet and Iam socially immersed in a way
that I wasn't years ago, whichis great.
Bella Paige (26:25):
I think it's so great that you're getting back
to work and you're right.
A lot of the time I think it'sjust a society thing, especially
in North America, that yourcareer is who you are.
A lot of people put a lot ofidentity on their career, like
if this is what they do for aliving.
That tells you everything aboutthem and it's definitely not
(26:46):
true.
But it's definitely a commonmisconception about how our
world runs.
I know it's like when you firstmeet someone or you talk to
someone within the first hourone of the things they ask is
what do you do for a living?
It's such a common question andI don't think people think much
about it.
It's just like what do you do?
Because you know everyone worksand we can't all work all the
(27:08):
time.
I've had to take a lot of breaksfrom a lot of things and, like
I told my girlfriend the otherday because I ended up in the
hospital, I said I wouldn't likemy health to stop directing
where my life can go.
And it's tough sometimes andthings get better and things
improve Like I never thought I'dbe doing this.
But things can improve, thingscan get better, but it is a
(27:33):
roller coaster to get there, andyou just have to keep going one
day at a time.
So, ben, is there anything elseyou would like to add before we
end today's episode?
Ben Morton (27:42):
You know, I think I'll just ask people to be
gentle with themselves andextend some grace to themselves.
I know that's hard.
I'm still working on that, Ithink.
Just be so patient, just bepatient with yourself and try to
, just as you said, take it dayby day and take as much pressure
off of yourself as you can,because it really is a marathon
and it's going to be some upsand downs.
(28:02):
It's just the good things willcome and yeah, just hang in
there please.
Bella Paige (28:07):
Well, I just want to thank you so much for joining
us today and sharing your lifepost concussion.
Ben Morton (28:14):
Hey, thank you so much for having me, Bella.
Bella Paige (28:19):
Has your life been affected by concussions?
Join our podcast by getting intouch.
Thank you so much for listeningto the post concussion podcast
and be sure to help us educatethe world about the reality of
concussions by giving us a shareTo learn more.
Don't forget to subscribe.
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