March 14, 2025 • 58 mins
Sometimes life forces us to make a choice: stay stuck in our struggles or take a bold step toward transformation. Coach Timothy "T.O." Clay knows this firsthand. As a teenager, he hit rock bottom and faced a defining moment of a felony charge that completely altered his path, ultimately leading him to a decorated military (Marine Corps) career and a mission of leadership and service.
Now, through his five-pillar LIGHT framework (Love, Intellect, Greatness, Health, and Truth), he helps others break through limitations and step into their full potential. This conversation is packed with hard-hitting wisdom about leadership, personal transformation, and the power of making bold adjustments when life demands it.
Connect with Coach T.O.:
- Website
- For Leadership Coaching Call: 1-770-383-1967
Episode 129's Affirmation:
I am capable of achieving my goals and creating the life I want.
I invite you to leave a positive message with your insights, feedback, or uplifting message.
🔗 Connect with Alethea:
Ready to go deeper in your growth journey? Visit https://www.aletheafelton.com to book Alethea for your next conference or workshop, explore one-on-one consulting, join the Resilient Leaders Alliance, and more.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Alethea Felton (00:07):
Best-selling author, motivational speaker,
coach, retired Marine and somuch more describes Coach T.
O.
Clay, who is my guest today onthe Power Transformation Podcast
, and Coach T.
O.
helps individuals men,specifically become better
(00:27):
leaders in the home, workplaceand community.
He certainly is a trueinspiration and I look forward
to our conversation today.
I am telling you he has atransformational story and
welcome to the PowerTransformation Podcast.
I am your host, alethea Felton.
I am telling you he has atransformational story and
welcome to the PowerTransformation Podcast.
I am your host, alethea Felton.
(00:49):
I am so glad that you havejoined me here today.
It is because of you that thispodcast continues to have such
success and we want to jumpright into this interview with
Coach T.
O.
I'm telling you Timothy "TO Clayis a name that you want to jump
right into this interview withCoach TO.
I'm telling you Timothy TO Clayis a name that you want to
remember because he is already amover and a shaker.
(01:12):
But I'm telling you y'all, hehas what it takes.
He has his five pillar lightsystem L-I-G-H-T system that
truly system L-I-G-H-T systemthat truly, truly can help with
identifying and improvingleadership skills.
He is huge on helping people toget mental clarity, developing
(01:36):
the heart and the mind so muchmore.
So let's start with ouraffirmation, because this is
truly going to be somethingthat's life-changing.
I'll say our affirmation onceand you repeat it I am capable
of achieving my goals andcreating the life I want.
I am so excited today to havethe coach TO Clay yes, I put the
(02:04):
in front of him because thisman is one of the most
spectacular human beings I havemet, and I use that word
intentionally because ofeverything he is doing in the
lives of many.
So welcome to the PowerTransformation Podcast.
Coach TO.
T.O. Clay (02:22):
Oh, thank you so much .
I'm so happy to be here.
I'm lit right now.
You know the energy, themagneticism yes, always a
blessing.
Uh, just thank you so muchbecause I, I know, I know, you
know the importance of this,this, this, trust me, is those
type of moments that that isgodly, is what is what I would
call it.
(02:42):
It's truly godly and and godlyin a way of just the Lord
bringing his people together.
So I'm grateful and excited tobe here.
Alethea Felton (02:50):
I agree with that completely and I won't get
into it too much here.
But y'all we met through anamazing entrepreneurial
networking group.
It's a community that we're apart of and I'm telling you
there's just certain people whenyou meet you just hit it off in
certain connections that youhave where you might know
(03:13):
similar people or you're goingdown a similar path, and that is
Coach TO and you're going tolearn all about that.
But I like to always start witha fun, icebreaker, lighthearted
question, just so we can get toknow you a little bit more.
Your question is Coach TO.
With everything that you do,what do you like to do to relax?
T.O. Clay (03:36):
Oh man, I love to read.
I would say in these latteryears since retiring in 2021,
being able to read.
You know, I got books galoredown here in what I call my lab.
You know this is where it goesdown, yes, and I come in here
and I'm looking at a lot ofbooks.
(03:58):
Counterinsurgency, next Level,your Life STEM is everywhere
from Candansas, simmons, thebook of born, the risk that we
just dropped with a millionshout out to to all the
millionaire network.
So, uh, to relax, I likereading.
That that's a big one for me.
(04:20):
Um, you know, like I said inthe latter, you know I'm 48 now.
I'd say probably the last, Idon't know three years.
I've really ratcheted up thereading.
Another relaxing thing,obviously, uh, for for the
listeners and watchers out therechecking us out today, I love
to fish as well.
I love fishing you do now?
Alethea Felton (04:42):
I didn't know that because I grew up fishing.
Yeah.
T.O. Clay (04:46):
What do you like?
Do you like what deep seafishing?
Alethea Felton (04:51):
No.
So since I grew up in theVirginia Beach Norfolk Tidewater
area, we did ocean andsaltwater fishing.
Yeah, it was that saltwaterfishing, and I also used to crab
when I was a little kid, oh,okay.
All right, you know a littlesomething, something.
(05:12):
Oh that's good.
So thank you for just openingus up into that part of your
world.
Now, if a person were to askyou who is Coach TO Clay, what
would you say?
T.O. Clay (05:29):
First and foremost a man striving to walk in the
righteousness of God, thealmighty God.
That's number one I was raisedfrom.
You know from the onset that aput God first in all that you do
.
You know from the onset thathey, put God first in all that
you do.
So I love opening up with that.
You know I'm emphatic aboutthat.
(05:50):
When I speak to people I wantthem to understand that I'm
striving to have that go of thealmighty God, because to me
that's the zenith.
You know all the titles, youknow, know, which I'm sure we'll
get into as as we maneuver, uh,but nothing is more important
(06:11):
than a.
My name is to clay, timothy onil clay to be exact.
A lot of people ask where doesthe to come from?
My first name is timothy,middle name is O'Neal and that's
N-E-I-L, with the apostrophe O,apostrophe N-E-I-L, and that's
where the T-O comes from.
Um, I am a man of God.
(06:33):
Man, and what is that?
That's a man.
Uh, in here you know once again, at all those books I talked
about, I got this one too, andthat one.
As I've gotten older I began torealize man, there's so many
keys to unlock the situation,the issues that we're dealing
with on a daily basis.
Alethea Felton (06:54):
That's right and just for clarity if you're
listening to this and notwatching it, he held up the Holy
Bible, meaning that that is thefoundational book for him, that
leads and guides and moves him,and God has certainly guided
your life over the years.
(07:15):
And so, although now you'rebased in Atlanta, take us to
your early origins.
What was your childhood likeand what was one of your most
favorite childhood memories?
T.O. Clay (07:31):
Childhood.
I grew up in a town calledWinchester, kentucky, and
Winchester is probably about 15miles east of Lexington, so it's
really close.
Uh, probably about a good Idon't know 85 miles from
(07:51):
Louisville okay and so you knowchildhood.
I have great memories um a lotof great memories of my
childhood.
Like I said, fishing, fishing.
I would say probably one of themost important that I'm
grateful for is I had both mymother and my father in the home
(08:11):
.
I'm a PK.
For those listening, Me too.
Alethea Felton (08:18):
I don't think I ever told you that, but yes,
that's that godly again.
T.O. Clay (08:25):
It's so beautiful because I know you understand
the different layers of being aPK.
You know I didn't hear perverselanguage in my home.
I didn't see smoking anddrinking in my home.
Exactly Same here.
(08:48):
Yes, I saw, as I held up alittle bit ago, many Bibles
laying around the house and andand study guides and, uh, you
know my mom, you know,downstairs playing her piano as
first lady.
Uh, she'd be down there singingthem old Negro spiritual hymns,
that that the aroma goingthroughout the house.
It was just amazing.
And you know, I, I, I lovebasketball.
(09:10):
All the doors in our home, thetop of the door, was all scraped
up and banged up and ditched,because I would take hangers and
I'd make a hoop and and I wouldtake some, some, you know them,
old tangerine sacks, the orangeknitted sacks from the
tangerines or oranges.
I'd cut them up and I'd put mynets around the hanger.
Alethea Felton (09:34):
Wow yeah.
T.O. Clay (09:35):
I'd put it up above the door and I was hooping.
I spent, you know, 90 percentof the time in my house playing
ball on those makeshift goals.
I'm the youngest.
I have two siblings my olderbrother, kenny Shout out to my
man, kenny, who I was just withthis weekend down in Fort
Lauderdale, it was amazing andmy older sister, samantha we
(09:56):
call her Sam.
Shout out to Sam as well.
They're going to watch this.
I know they're going to watchit and that simple PK.
They're going to watch this.
I know they're going to watchit exactly, and that simple pk.
They.
They're going to be dialed inwith us.
But yeah, those are my fondmemories.
I mean, there's so many in thename, but the biggest.
I grew up in a loving family.
I grew up in a loving familythat taught us from the root a
(10:18):
god, and it was a small knitcommunity.
You know, my grandmother livedright up the street.
My uncles lived down the street.
My uncles lived down the street.
My other uncle lived down thestreet.
My other uncle lived down thestreet because my father, he's
the youngest of nine.
Alethea Felton (10:31):
Okay.
T.O. Clay (10:32):
You know so a lot of his older brothers lived all
around.
And the Clay Root man that ClayRoot, for those of you all
checking us out today, hey, thatClay Root in Kentucky runs
really, really deep.
Alethea Felton (10:45):
It does.
That's a common last name andwe can talk more offline about
that.
But, yeah, for you to be fromthere and to hear that last name
that is something that I doknow of is maybe not your exact
family history, but theinfluence of the Clay surname
(11:08):
Interesting.
Yeah, so we'll talk about thatand I love how you talk about
how you had this village and youhad love, and what's so
beautiful is the work you do nowdefinitely exudes love, and
we'll go back and talk moreabout your origin story, but
(11:30):
let's take a pause here andshare in your own words what you
do professionally now.
T.O. Clay (11:39):
Absolutely Professionally.
I help individuals develop asleaders in the home, in the
workplace, in the community, viathe five pillar light framework
L-I-G-H-T Light.
Simple L is love, I isintellect, g is greatness, h is
(12:03):
health and T is truth.
And within those five pillars,some people need love.
Some people love to sit backand have the intellectual
conversations and talk about ourorigins as people and the
cosmos and how bees pollinateand how it affects us today in
(12:24):
our eco environment.
Greatness, greatness is allaround us.
Alethea Felton (12:29):
That's right.
T.O. Clay (12:30):
Greatness is right now, god, god brought this great
you know aspect of you and Ibeing able to come together and
and being able to impact it andpartake from one another in
order to to help others and andright now, mental health is a
big thing.
Alethea Felton (12:48):
Yeah.
T.O. Clay (12:48):
You know physical fitness big thing.
You know I served many years inthe military and that's, you
know, a huge thing for militarypersonnel is physical health.
You know mind, body and spirittype thing, but just overall
healthiness, man, healthyrelationships.
You know it's physical health,you know, mind, body and spirit
type thing, but just overallhealthiness, man, healthy
relationships.
You know, healthy environments.
(13:09):
I could go on and on abouthealth.
You know we are what we eat.
You know, and the last pillar istruth, you know, I believe you
know truth is, is, is square,there's a square around us.
You know, and you, you got, yougot.
You know you got 90, 90, yougot 90 and you got 90, and
(13:32):
that's 360, you know, and that360 around us is being
consciously aware.
You know that that that God istrue.
Again, I, yeah, I'm not going to, you know, overstate it, but
for me personally, you know,what I do now professionally is
in alignment with my heart, withmy passion, with my superpower,
(13:59):
with my why, and that's why I'mgrinning right now, because I
love it, I love seeing peoplethrive, I love helping
individuals.
Now, you know, as professionals, we know that whiff them
statement type of thing.
What's in it for me and ifyou're listening to this or
watching, what's in it for youis a safe space.
(14:23):
It is a light within you.
Every single one of us shortbursts.
We all have light.
I always think about Iron manin the amazing movie Endgame,
when that light started to getdim and he was laying there,
everybody across the world's inthe theater looking like Iron
(14:47):
man can't die?
No way, not Iron man man, no wayAll the history.
But the reality is, sometimesour light gets dim and we need
love.
We need to go into thecatacombs of someone that can
use the proper intellect to beable to pull back in on us and
help us, whether that's therapy,whether that's, you know, going
(15:10):
and speaking with the pastor,whether that's speaking to the
fireman so I can go on and onbut professional, that's what it
is, if you don't rememberanything else.
Out there, it's the light, andwe all have light and we want
those light bulb lessons that weall experience through our life
to be a beacon to guide us tomove forward in our lives every
(15:33):
day and I think in in you justdiscussing that light framework,
but also knowing that light iswhat counters darkness, because
we all experience those darkspaces.
Alethea Felton (15:51):
And in fact, coach Tio, you had a period of
darkness that kind of came inyour youth periods, but then the
light came and you weresnatched out of it.
Periods, but then the lightcame and you were snatched out
of it.
So there was a time in yourlife when you had some youthful
recklessness that truly couldhave destroyed your destiny, but
(16:13):
it didn't instead.
So speak a little bit aboutthat and take us back to a
pivotal moment in your life whenyou realized that something
needed to change.
And what was that internalshift like and how did that
shape the man who you are today?
T.O. Clay (16:32):
Yes, absolutely Great , great question.
I love it.
You know, my heart starts to,you know, beat a little bit
faster because that takes meback to that moment.
It takes me back to, you know,those feelings.
It takes me back to why I'm sopassionate about the light today
.
And, just for the listeners outthere, I'm 48 years old today.
(16:57):
Thank be to God.
I've seen 48 years on thisplanet and, as my great sister
said, you know, we allexperience darkness and
sometimes, when you're around,others that are working and
walking in that purpose and outtrying to heal and help people,
(17:18):
and you know, as we would quotesay, you know, trying to save
the world or the community withit, and attacks can come from
all angles.
Like I said, I'm the baby boyand I was attacked.
Like I said, growing up in thathousehold and not seeing a lot
of things of the world, I wasshielded from many things that
(17:38):
once I started going outside thehome and visiting friends'
homes and some of my own familymembers, cousins, things of that
, I started seeing things that Iwas like, wow, I'm intrigued,
you know, I'm intrigued to seethat red cup and the smell.
And it doesn't smell like sweettea, it doesn't smell like
Gatorade, it smells likesomething that I ain't smelled
(18:00):
before.
So, hey, no, you're right, yeah, absolutely, you know, and that
I ain't spelled before.
So, aiden, no, you're right,yeah, absolutely.
And I'm sure to the listenersand you can get the point of
what I'm saying, I was intriguedby certain things that I just
didn't see growing up around me,internal to my household, and
it morphed into being exposed tothings, and one of the things
(18:25):
that I was exposed to that wesee prevalent out there today I
was exposed to weed marijuana.
Mary Jane, buddha, you know,sitsamia, whatever, whatever
you're listening to this.
Alethea Felton (18:39):
Yeah, that's right.
T.O. Clay (18:41):
Dank, whatever it is.
I was exposed to that, that'sright.
Whatever y'all call it, dank,whatever it is, I was exposed to
that, and I was exposed to itby an individual that I had a
lot of trust and faith in.
You know, they shared a lot ofthe same rights as myself, which
was basketball, and thatindividual.
You know I would never sit hereon any platform and blame that
individual, for you know whattook place after that particular
(19:04):
, what I call gate.
You know, you you've heard itclinically as a gateway and all
that good stuff.
For me it actually was.
Uh, I'm not saying that it isfor anybody else, but, to your
claim, that was the gate thatopened up.
You know the gates for me thattook me to a place, like you
just said, where I'm lucky to bealive.
I'm lucky to be sitting heretoday.
Lucky to be alive, I'm lucky tobe sitting here today.
(19:26):
Um, and I'm grateful to besitting here today because it
went from marijuana to okay,well, you know I'm used to
smoking weed.
Uh, well, what, what's that?
White stuff?
You got right there.
This is powder cocaine.
Man, try it, you're gonna takea bump.
It ain't going to do nothing,it's just going to make you feel
perky, make you feel hot.
(19:47):
I tried it.
You know, after a while, okay,you keep graduating.
Next thing, you know we'retaking it and we're sprinkling
it on the marijuana.
You know something different,something new.
You know, when I say we, therewas other individuals that I was
engaged with.
You know executing thesedifferent things Because, again,
(20:08):
environment is very important,people, places and things is
very important, and I didn'tlearn that until down the road,
going through recovery, andultimately I ended up abusing
crack cocaine.
You know, I'm 17 years old,just turned 17, 16 to 17 years
old, and I found myselffull-blown smoking crack cocaine
(20:32):
.
You know I'll say that again.
You know, in case someonedidn't hear it 17 years old,
timothy O'Neill, clay TO Clay, Ifound myself little preacher's
son, pk, youngest of three and agood home, good house
absolutely.
(20:54):
I ended up in that dark place.
Alethea Felton (20:56):
Wow, you know so what was the straw?
What was the crossroads?
Because something miraculoushappened to you where your life
came to a crossroad where youcould have either gone this way
or that way.
Tell us about that miraculoushappening at that crossroads
(21:21):
that really changed your life.
T.O. Clay (21:24):
Oh, absolutely my pleasure.
Again, I am grinning again, ifyou're listening.
I'm grinning right now becauseI can't help it.
It's real, you know.
It's being really, trulypresent in the moment.
It's true authenticity.
This moment, right here, 3September 2024, it is real and,
(21:45):
and miraculously, you know, Iwas able to spend this past
weekend in Fort Lauderdale,florida.
This just past weekend, with aman who got to a place to where
he didn't know what to do.
He realized that the only thingI know to do with my young baby
(22:09):
boy, son, is go to God andsurrender, because I can't do
anything else for him.
I can't keep him out of jail.
I can't keep him from stealingout of my wallet when I ain't
looking.
I can't keep him from beinggone for 30 days at a time and
we don't know if he's dead oralive.
I can't keep him.
I can't keep him.
He goes to God and he saysFather, god, my son is prodigal
(22:31):
right now.
I know the story in the word.
I've stood in the pulpit andpreached this word for years and
now I'm being attacked andexperiencing the exact same
thing with my own baby boy, son.
I surrender Father God.
(22:52):
And I'd been out.
I'd been out and I got to aplace.
I said, man, I want to go home.
You know, I was telling my mom.
I said, you know, ma, Iremember it vividly.
I was actually.
I was missing my mom.
You know I was missing themeals and that motherly love
that only a mother can give.
(23:13):
And I went to the house and mydad came to the door.
Long story short, he was likeyou don't live here, you don't
belong here.
You're not coming up in here.
Go back out there where youwant to be.
Go back out there in that worldwhere you want to be.
Go back out there in that worldwhere you want to be.
But you will not bring thatmess or your messy self up in
(23:35):
here.
And I'm not paraphrasing.
I'm standing on the porch and Ihad never heard my dad talk to
me like that all the years.
I'm like 18 years old at thetime.
I said, dad, I just want tocome home.
I don't want to be out there.
No more, I need help.
(23:57):
Those simple three words,sister, I need help.
Began that transformationprocess because my dad he said,
excuse me.
He said you want help, youreally want help.
Okay, come in here, come inhere right now.
Walked in the house, he turnedthe light on in the living room.
(24:20):
Once you walk in the house thatwe lived in at that time, he
said get on your knees right now.
I got on my knees.
I'll tell the story to the dayI transitioned off this planet
forever.
I got on my knees.
He said you know you want help.
There's only one source thatcan help you.
Alethea Felton (24:42):
That's right.
T.O. Clay (24:43):
And he started praying, my mom was on her knees
over by the piano.
And you know this is notfolklore man, this is not
allegory, this ain't spookyism,this is real.
And once he began to pray, hewas taking his hand and he was
stroking the back of my neck.
He's stroking the back of myneck and he's praying,
(25:06):
deliberate.
You know, come out of him.
You will not take my son.
You know this is my child andFather, god, restore right now,
in the mighty name.
He's praying, he's praying andI'm crying, my mother's crying.
Next thing, you know, I juststarted vomiting.
Wow, remember, when I looked atit it almost looked like, like,
(25:30):
like, uh, dog vomit and it justjust white and gooey and just a
big old pile on my mama's carpet, and just it it pretty much
looked like everything that Ismoked and put into my system
all came up at once and was in apile for me to look at, right
in front of me, and he said rise, my son.
(25:52):
He said get up and receive it.
And I think for the listenersout there that may have someone
in your family maybe yourself, afriend that's dealing with
these type of vices, theseaddictions, he said you have to
receive it and you must claim it.
You must claim the victory,because the victory is done.
(26:14):
And man in that moment Istarted giving thanks and to
this day you know that wasprobably in 1997, early 97.
Alethea Felton (26:31):
Wow so, 27 years ago, 27, 27 years.
This is October.
Now, yes, yeah, yeah 27 years.
T.O. Clay (26:48):
I've been drug free.
Alethea Felton (26:48):
ever since I've never trusted ever again in my
life and I still claim thevictory today, that's right.
T.O. Clay (26:54):
And I have to say this sis, I still claim that I'm
not.
You know, I'm not afraid to sayit.
Anyway, some people why wouldyou say that you know words have
power?
Yeah, they do, but I'm anaddict.
Addict, the only difference isI choose not to use yeah I still
have those same trigger points.
(27:16):
People places things that'sreal but yeah, man, thank you
for allowing me to share that ofcourse.
Alethea Felton (27:25):
Yes, of course, because sometimes people live
day to day trying to keep it alltogether and they may see a
person's glory and not knowtheir story, have no idea and
only see the success and notknow the is that you had a
(27:48):
chance and I respect you forthis.
You had a chance to serve, ifI'm not mistaken, 23 years in
the military.
T.O. Clay (27:57):
Yes, 23.
Alethea Felton (27:58):
Tell us about that journey, because not only
did you serve in the UnitedStates Marine Corps, but you
moved way up the ranks.
Yes, ma'am, marine Corps, butyou move way up the ranks.
How in the world do you go frombeing a quote-unquote drug
addict to serving in the MarineCorps, and how has being a
(28:19):
Marine shaped even the journeyyou're on now in terms of
coaching, speaking and helpingothers?
Take us on that trip.
T.O. Clay (28:30):
Oh, my goodness, man, it's, it's, it's a trip.
You know, it really is a trip.
And and that's again, man, thatglow, we opened up and as I
spoke about man, that that,trying my best to just walk in
righteousness, man, it's like,uh, I realized the impact of my
story.
You know, I realize that, hey,every one of us have a story.
(28:55):
You know, and I've hadgentlemen to say, hey, man, clay
, for me it wasn't drugs, it wasabuse.
Clay, for me it wasn't drugs,it was, it was alcohol.
Clay, it was gambling.
You know, whatever it could be,excuse me, but to be quite
honest, that same man stood inthe courtroom with me and I was
(29:21):
released.
Alethea Felton (29:23):
Wait, wait, wait the courtroom.
T.O. Clay (29:26):
Yes, yes, circuit court to be exact.
Alethea Felton (29:29):
So you were charged with something.
T.O. Clay (29:33):
I was incarcerated twice.
You know, I went, I went tojail.
Alethea Felton (29:39):
Hold on.
T.O. Clay (29:39):
Hold on yes.
Alethea Felton (29:41):
You got to make this plain you were incarcerated
, yet you had the audacity toend up being in the Marine Corps
.
T.O. Clay (29:51):
Yes, I actually had to go in front of a circuit
court judge to be released to goto the Marine Corps the Marine
recruiter.
He stood right next to me.
Because here's the thing andthis is very profound and
impactful because I played a lotof sports, I wasn't smoking
(30:13):
drugs from elementary school allthe way up until leaving to go
to the Marine Corps Late 16, 17,.
That little patch right there.
But there's so many significantthings that happened prior to
Exactly my love.
What I didn't mention when youasked me about what do I like to
(30:35):
do to relax?
Fishing, yes, reading, yes.
But my most profound love, sis,is basketball.
I love hooping, I love hooping.
I love basketball and themental saboteurs that I was
dealing with, with a lot oftransition that was happening
leading up to the whole fallfrom grace type thing, if you
(31:00):
want to call it that.
I wasn't playing ball anymore,ok, anymore, okay, I start
running with the wrong crowd.
Uh, you know all sorts ofdifferent things that led up to
that, but you know, therethere's, there's a memoir out
there that you could.
You can exactly learn all aboutthat.
Yeah, I want to really addressyour question because I've been
(31:22):
on many podcasts, but I promiseyou, man, you, you fired the the
best questions I've been askedoh, thank you, that's what every
single guest says.
Alethea Felton (31:31):
I'm just keeping it plain with you.
But yeah, but how do you gofrom the courtroom to the Marine
Corps?
T.O. Clay (31:41):
Yes, I have to say I knew.
If I'm going to join anyservice man, I got to go to the
best.
Shout out to the Army, shoutout to the Air Force, shout out
to the Navy, the Coast Guard,space Force, man, we love you
all, but as a United StatesMarine, it's only one Marine
(32:04):
Corps.
Alethea Felton (32:04):
That's what my uncle says.
T.O. Clay (32:06):
Yes, yes, and that's not bragging, that's not
arrogance.
I mean, our track record speaksfor itself.
You know the New York Yankeeshave losses, the LA Lakers,
boston Celtics, tiger Woods,they all have losses.
The Marine Corps, on record,still this day, has no losses.
Any contingency, any fight, anybattle, any war.
The Marine Corps has no losses,any contingency, any fight, any
(32:28):
battle, any war.
The Marine Corps has no lossesbecause the Marine Corps is
comprised of a lot ofindividuals.
Just like me, you know we comefrom the mud.
Alethea Felton (32:37):
For a lot of us.
I'm sorry, go ahead.
Yeah, no, that's true, becauseeven with my uncle's story of
getting in it wasn't exactlylike yours, but it was a matter
of my grandparents were reallyat their wits ends with him.
T.O. Clay (32:55):
Yeah, yeah, see again , that's.
That's why, if I was just setwith him, we have a natural bond
, not only just in the fact thatwe're Marines, but we have a
bond and understanding.
The Marine Corps is thesmallest branch of service, but
we have a bond and understanding.
The Marine Corps is thesmallest branch of service.
The Marine Corps yes, yes,Marine Corps is usually around
about one hundred eighty fivethousand strong kind of dances
(33:17):
in that window.
One hundred eighty five, maybeone, eighty six, but I ended up
there.
The proud, the few, the Marine,it makes sense now.
Yes, oh, I see, okay, the feudof proud, yes, so, uh it, it was
(33:38):
destiny.
And, like I said, I played alot of sports.
I was used to getting yelled atfrom coaches and, you know,
getting fired up in the lockerroom and and that camaraderie
and that, that bonding and, uh,working hard in in basketball.
You know, I played organizedbasketball all the way up to,
you know, like my sophomore yearof high school, and things just
plummeted in a lot of what wewould say piss, poor decision
(33:59):
making.
But I was a young fella, takefull accountability for it.
And I stood in front of thecircuit court judge, and and she
said, if you, she said, if youwould have asked me to go to any
other branch of service, youwouldn't even be standing in
this courtroom.
She said but I know a littlebit about the Marine Corps.
(34:21):
Because how do I know?
She said because my grandfatherwas a Marine and he practically
raised me was a Marine and hepractically raised me.
She said, but I'm going to tellyou this you know, the Marine
Corps is not going to play gameswith you, you know.
So it could be double jeopardyfor you.
You go there and you starthacking them full.
You're going to be in troublethere and then you'll come back
(34:43):
here and be in trouble as well.
And I remember she askedSergeant William Perry from St
Louis, missouri that was therecruiter that was trying to get
me in.
I remember she said do you haveanything, sir?
And he said you know, ma'am,thank you just for allowing us
to be here.
I can tell you, this young manwill never be in this courtroom
again.
This young man will be on a busto Paris Island, south Carolina
(35:07):
, by the end of this month andhe's not gonna ever look back.
That's right, and man, I'm sograteful for that moment.
And she told me.
She said well, if you do fouryears honorably, uh, I will
consider expunging your record,because at the time I had two
felonies for possession ofcocaine, paraphernalia,
(35:30):
marijuana.
You know, I've been, you know,caught up twice and, like I said
, all of that is prior to theprayer.
The prayer dad stroked my neck.
All of this is prior to that.
So when I came back home, I'msaying, hey, I don't know what
to do.
I need help.
You know, I don't want to goback to jail, I don't want to
(35:51):
end up dead, because when you'reout there fooling with that
stuff, that's your alternativeYou're either going to end up in
prison or you're going to endup dead.
There's never a good endingstory to living that lifestyle
or being, you know, in that typeof conducive environment.
So I ended up in the MarineCorps and I that type of
conducive environment.
So ended up in the Marine Corpsand I thrived.
You know, because, like I said,I was used to, you know,
(36:13):
organized sports and playingball and you know my parents
were real Like we couldn't getup as kids and not make our bed.
You know, we had to clean thekitchen, we had to take the
trash out, I had to be out inthe yard with daddy picking up
leaves and all of that goodstuff.
You know we were in Kentucky.
Kentucky gets cold.
I'm out there cutting wood tobring in the house and put in
(36:35):
the fireplace.
So I had a structure.
So, learning that structurealong with the Marine Corps,
going through boot camp 13 weeks, I needed that and that was the
biggest thing.
It was like man, I'm gettingsober, I'm getting back into
shape and I'm ultimately findingmyself again, and I share that
(36:57):
with anyone listening, watching.
Sometimes we lose ourselves,sometimes we don't know who we
are, and sometimes you have tomake a bold adjustment.
Something miraculous has totake place.
It may require you to move, itmay require you to walk away
from the job that you're onright now, but unless you make a
(37:18):
bold adjustment, you canprobably expect for a lot of the
same results.
Alethea Felton (37:23):
Wow, that is absolutely incredible.
That is absolutely incredible.
And y'all, coach Tio, he's ahumble man and he doesn't brag
on himself, but I will sharewith you that, yes, while he
spent 23 years in the MarineCorps, he worked himself all the
way up to E-9, which is asergeant major.
(37:46):
He's a retired sergeant major.
He's a retired sergeant major.
So throughout your career,coach Tio, you helped others
through your story and you helpothers pull out lessons from
their own stories and lives.
But you had to do some coachingthere.
You had to give discipline.
(38:07):
You help people with mentalclarity, decision making, all of
that, and so I could talk toyou forever, but our time is
coming to a close.
What leadership lessons fromthe military has most influenced
(38:32):
your approach to how you doyour coaching business now?
What do you apply in coachingthat you did in the Marines?
T.O. Clay (38:43):
Okay, what do I apply in coaching?
Now?
Again, the greatest questionsI've had.
Man Like this, this isabsolutely amazing and I thank
you so much.
Alethea Felton (38:56):
Thank you, sir, thank you.
T.O. Clay (38:58):
It's, it's it's serving, it's serving leadership
for one.
You know, and you're right.
I don't like to talk aboutmyself a lot, you know, I just
don't.
But when it comes to coachingand what I learned as a United
States Marine, it's simple.
All Marines know this, that I'mabout the same.
(39:19):
And if you're listening in,write it down, put it in your
notes on your phone, because itreally truly works.
And it's this free game righthere.
You know it's free game, Idon't claim it, I learned it as
a Marine and I still apply it tothis free game right here.
You know it's free game, Idon't claim it, I learned it as
a Marine and I still apply it tothis day.
And it's a phrase called JJ.
(39:40):
Did Ty Buckle?
I'll say it again JJ is, if I'mhaving a conversation with just
a normal person, hey, jj, didTy Buckle?
Having a conversation with justa normal person, hey, jj, did
(40:02):
Ty Buck?
Now that J is justice, judgment, dependability, integrity,
decisiveness, tact integrity,integrity, enthusiasm, bearing
endurance, as you were,unselfishness I'm sorry I got it
screwed up.
B is bearing, u isunselfishness, c is courage, k
(40:25):
is knowledge, l is loyalty and Eis enthusiasm.
I think the first E wasendurance, endurance.
Okay, got you.
I think the first E wasendurance.
Alethea Felton (40:34):
Endurance Okay, got you, got you, I understand.
T.O. Clay (40:38):
Absolutely, but that phrase has saved many lives
across this nation.
When you're riding down thestreet and you see that car in
front of you that has thatlittle Marine Corps emblem.
Alethea Felton (40:56):
Yeah.
T.O. Clay (40:57):
You know that gold seal on the bumper or on the
license plate.
Know that that simple term JJdid Ty Buckle has saved many
lives.
Wow has restored many lives,such as myself, such as your
uncle, you know, and countless.
Marines, male, female, myselfsuch as your uncle and countless
Marines male, female, black,hispanic, it doesn't matter Once
(41:26):
we all learn justice, judgment,dependability, initiative,
decisiveness, tact, integrity,enthusiasm, bearing
unselfishness, courage,knowledge, loyalty and endurance
, like all of those things youhave to apply in your life.
You know you have to governyourself.
I won't go through each one,but you know I use that still to
(41:47):
this day.
When I'm speaking to youth,when I'm speaking to
corporations, when I'm speakingto the church organizations, I'm
speaking to my own sons.
That's right.
I got a 15-year-old and a10-year-old.
I just took my son yesterday,my 15-year-old, to get his first
suit.
Oh, dnk, suit City, one of thebest in Atlanta Shout out to DNK
(42:09):
.
But those older gentlemen inthere understood the assignment.
They understood, okay, thislittle young 15-year-old got his
dad with him, got his littlebrother 10-year-old with him.
We're going to get him readyfor his first high school dance
as a freshman.
And I'll tell you, sis, it wasan amazing experience because
those other gentlemen were ableto pour in.
(42:30):
They were talking to him aboutthe things such as barring, like
, hey, man, when you step out,you want to have bearing.
What's a nice young lady goingto look at?
When they first look at you,young man, my son was like they
say she's going to look at yourfeet.
Alethea Felton (42:44):
That's right.
So will that's right.
Hey, if we had the bullhornright now, that would be Exactly
.
T.O. Clay (42:55):
That's it, yes man oh yeah, oh man, they schooled my
young, schooled him.
But but again, like you said,save for time.
Uh, that's, that's justsomething simple that I use.
Of course, jj, didn't tiebuckle man, I'll take that with
me forever.
Alethea Felton (43:13):
Of course, and in terms of your story in your
book From here to there,prodigal and Back, and of course
you're also in Born to Risk,but from here to there, prodigal
and back, you talk aboutredemption in a world full of
(43:34):
temptations.
And so what would you say tosomeone who may be listening or
watching, but they absolutelyfeel stuck when it comes to
their cycle of self-doubt orpoor habits and struggling to
find their way out?
What would you say to them as atip to at least start the
(43:56):
process of getting themselvesunstuck from that which has them
bound?
T.O. Clay (44:02):
Yes, first and foremost man I know God is is is
this conversation because I'mactually dealing with a close
individual right now thatobviously I don't consider as a
client.
He's a friend, he's a personI've known quite some time and
(44:25):
he used that exact thing thatyou just said.
He says I'm stuck.
I don't have clarity.
Alethea Felton (44:34):
It's.
T.O. Clay (44:35):
I'm stuck, I don't have clarity, I'm all over the
place.
Wow, I feel alone.
And hearing him saying thesethings from from the coaching
mindset, for starters, I knowhe's the hero, I'm the guy you
know and, being a listening earas the guy you know, I want him
(44:56):
to hear himself.
We're having a dialogue oninstant messenger and we're not
talking ear to ear on the phone.
I hear his voice in his mind.
We're using instant messenger,so he's sending a message.
I send a message back, send amessage.
And you know I told him, I saidsometimes you know you could
(45:19):
speak your own solution.
You know it takes.
It takes a deeper level ofintuition.
It takes a deeper level ofunderstanding what we're dealing
with.
A lot of times you knowsymptoms of things.
You know I look at these thingsand I say, okay, for me
personally, I know that I battlewith depression.
(45:42):
It's a part of me, you know I,I, I see visions and and and you
know, I know a hundred percentthere's certain tools that I
must utilize daily and somethingsimple as taking my fingers and
rubbing my index finger with mythumb calms me.
So, again, those tools.
So, with him, hearing him openup because some people they
(46:07):
don't know how to open up, theydon't know what to see, they're
looking for anything to clingtowards.
Sometimes they're suffering insilence, as we both know.
But to say, hey man, I care bro, is one thing, but to actually
show the action of really caring, taking a step towards him
(46:27):
Because, like I told, him.
I understand my saboteur, takinga step towards him Because,
like I told him, I understand mysaboteur.
My saboteur could be being astickler towards you, or you're
toxic, or you got things goingon.
I'm too busy right now, orwhatever the case may be.
But, like I told him, you knowI care in a deeper layer that I
(46:49):
want to see you understand that,hey, man, there is light bro,
there is a light in you, andtrying my best to get him to see
that a lot of times is allowinghim, as that hero, to speak.
Okay, I hear myself sayingthese specific things, but I
also know, deeper into intuitionof me, that there was something
(47:13):
that really happened that gotme to this place yes, exactly
and and how, how to, how toreally be in touch with that
internal, like I said, peopleplaces in things.
There's certain things that it'sgoing to always be.
There's no, oh magic pill thatjust fixes, you know, I I feel,
(47:34):
yeah, there's pills out there.
Don't get me wrong, that's notfor everyone and some people
don't choose to go that route.
But being a listening ear, Ithink, I think we could do so
much better as a society ingeneral with that interpersonal
communication, personalcommunication.
Alethea Felton (47:50):
Exactly yeah, wow, yeah, and I will definitely
be keeping your friend in myprayers, please do.
We all use help sometimes, soat least your friend felt
vulnerable and safe enough to atleast come to you.
Yes, share.
(48:12):
Yes, enough to at least come toyou, share and so.
So, if a person wants to buyany of your books or find out
how they can connect with you,do you have a website?
Are you on social media?
How can they even hear your?
And we didn't even talk aboutyour own podcast and how you
have a show, so so how canpeople learn more about you?
(48:34):
I'm going to have to have youon again in the future because
we can talk about a lot of otherthings, but how can a person
contact you?
T.O. Clay (48:42):
Easiest way to contact me would be to call
770-383-1967.
770-383-1967.
That's a direct pipeline to meTO Clay Lightbulb Lessons.
I'm going to answer, trust me,that last question that you just
(49:05):
asked.
It's real man.
I could probably answer thatquestion in 20 different ways,
because each individual isindividual in terms of what
they're going through.
So I want to be contacted.
I, like you said, I'm sograteful just to hear my man's
voice.
Alethea Felton (49:25):
That's right.
T.O. Clay (49:26):
To know that.
Hey TO, I love you, bro, andthis is what I'm experiencing,
and that's the first step tothat real healing is the admit
it, dad, I need help.
And the breakthrough happened.
Hey TO, I need help.
Next thing, you know, becausehe's a veteran as well, like hey
man, you know you could go tothe VA.
You know it just opens up thecorridor for God to move.
(49:49):
So also wwwlightbulblessonscom.
That's all one wordlightbulblessonscom.
If you typed in light bulb, I'mpopping up somewhere.
You're going to see a podcastepisode, you're going to see a
training, you're going to seesomething and you can purchase
(50:10):
the book there.
That's right.
If you go to that website, tothat Web site, you will see it
is there, it's a great book,it's a great read and I'm not
being biased about that.
It is really my life and in theimpact that I've experienced
since it came out in March hasbeen amazing.
(50:30):
It's touching lives, it'sreally touching lives and it
took courage to speak that story.
You know, because, like yousaid earlier, a lot of people
just see the success now.
Oh, he's successful.
Oh, he's this, he's coaching,he's podcast, he's a retired
Marine, he's got it all figuredout.
But no, you know, like you said, that darkness is right around
(50:53):
the corner.
That's right and we have to stayengaged.
These conversations, you knowputting ourselves in miracle
territory.
This is real miracle territory,right here Speaking with you,
and I can't wait to bring you onmy podcast.
Alethea Felton (51:07):
Thank you.
T.O. Clay (51:08):
You're welcome, known , as you know where leaders come
and we shine light.
That's it we're.
We're all leaders, we're fromall different backgrounds.
And what can we do to share ourlight bulb lesson to help
someone else?
If it's a personal agenda, orI'm coming on because I want to
get more followers, I want toget leads and I want to get man,
(51:32):
my, my show's not for you, it'sfor those calls to 770-383-1967
.
And some of the young fella outin New Mexico saying hey, man,
I listened to the show, it'samazing man, I learned so much.
I'm thinking about going to themilitary.
Or, hey, man, I love the lightand I'm trying to work on love,
(51:55):
because I'm not getting a lot oflove at home.
So how can I love better eventhough I'm not getting that love
reciprocated?
Alethea Felton (52:01):
so, and and all the different platforms in terms
of ig, uh, facebook, it's allin the to clinton I try to keep
it simple and and I'll put allof that in the show notes also
Random question Is your fatherstill living?
T.O. Clay (52:21):
Yes.
Alethea Felton (52:22):
Still alive, and your mom also.
T.O. Clay (52:24):
Yes.
Alethea Felton (52:26):
So the reason why I ask is as a closing
question when you think back towhen you showed up at your
parents' doorstep and youliterally had hit rock bottom,
yes, what would you say to themin terms of the gift that they
(53:00):
gave you that day that has ledyou to?
T.O. Clay (53:02):
be who you are right now.
Oh man, I have to say it.
You know, like I say, it's inreal time.
I was with my dad this pastweekend.
Oh, a lot of Florida.
Well, the He-Man Conference.
Shout out to Dr Oliver T Reedand all the He-Man brothers out
there, shout out.
We had the annual He-ManConference this past weekend in
(53:26):
Fort Lauderdale, florida.
My father, who's been preachingfor over 60 years, my brother,
who is a bishop right now, shoutout to my brother kenny, my big
brother.
They both got on the plane inthe storm and they flew down and
, mind you, everything thatcould have possibly happened to
stop this conference happened,because when you bring that
(53:51):
power of men into one room, wewe had speakers flying in from
all over, but I got to share ahotel space at the Marriott with
my dad up on the 16th floor.
The room number was 1607.
Soon, as you get off theelevator and bang the left in
the hall first room on the leftand I got to lay in my bed as
(54:15):
dad laid in the other bed, andwe'd land there on our sides
like little kids in the fetaland we're looking across at each
other and we're just talkingand I'm telling my dad that look
how far God has brought us.
Full circle, dad, and I'm ableto share this moment with you
and we're able to worship theLord together and we're able to
(54:39):
come together and pour intoother men, we're able to stand
in the gap and full circlecompletion.
Here we sit today and I said,dad, you're older man, you might
not be here next year.
I pray you are Knock on wood.
I pray, man, you might not behere next year.
I pray you are knock on wood, Ipray I am.
I may not be here next year,but we're present in the moment
(55:01):
and for every opportunity wehave together, man, I thank you.
I thank you for saying you knowwhat.
Okay, you want to come back home?
All right, come on in here andget on your knees.
You didn't let me come in andrun up to the room and close the
door and act like I don't knowy'all nothing In your house.
See, now I'm a man, now, now Ihave my own house and I tell my
(55:24):
sons like, hey, bro, you don'trun this crib, this is mine, you
know, and we're going to serveGod up in here, bro, I and we're
going to serve God up in here,bro, I'm not telling you it's
got to be no holy, roly, poly,but, man, we're going to pray
before we eat.
Man, we're going to pray as afamily.
A family that prays togetherstays together.
So, and my mother, man, blessher heart.
(55:47):
Man, I look just like my mother,you know, by the way, I look
just like a spitting image manand I shout her out all the time
because I tell her man, toevery strong man, there's a
strong woman.
You know a lot of people theymay think I'm crazy when I say
this, but the Holy Grail is thewoman, it ain't some rusty cup.
You know, on Indiana Jones, theHoly Grail is you, my sister.
(56:09):
You, the Holy Grail.
Look how many people you'reinspiring.
Grail is you, my sister, you,the Holy Grail.
Look how many people you'reinspiring.
You know the 100th episode manShout out to you Thank you,
thank you.
I'm so happy, man, to know you,to continue to work with you,
but again, tomorrow's notpromised man, our number one
asset is time and great mindscoming together, sharing our
(56:33):
intellect together to love thefeeling.
You're pk, I'm a pk man.
We we get.
We could change the world, meand you.
I believe that I believe youand I could change the world.
I believe a.
You know we don't.
We don't have to have on formernba jerseys and you know all,
all of this high power to makereal impact and we're doing that
(56:56):
now and I just want to thankyou today, man, for the platform
.
Alethea Felton (56:59):
Oh.
T.O. Clay (57:00):
Bill, I've been.
I've been looking forward tothis.
I told my dad this weekend, man, I've got a podcast coming up
Thursday.
It's going to be amazing.
Yeah, she fire.
And I'm just grateful, man.
Alethea Felton (57:12):
So I really appreciate that and thank you
for gracing this platform withyour presence, and I continue to
hope and pray nothing but thebest for you, your wife, your
children, your entire family,and you are doing incredible
things, and the best is yet tocome, and thank you again for
being on the PowerTransformation podcast.
T.O. Clay (57:34):
Thank you so much and , as we always love to say,
peace.
Alethea Felton (57:38):
Thank you for tuning in to this episode of the
Power Transformation Podcast.
If you enjoyed this episode, besure to follow or subscribe,
leave a five-star rating andwrite a review.
It helps us inspire even morelisteners.
And don't keep it to yourself.
Share it with someone who coulduse a little power in their
(58:01):
transformation.
Until next time, keep bouncingback, keep rising and be good to
yourself and to others.
Best-selling author, motivational speaker,
coach, retired Marine and somuch more describes Coach T.
O.
Clay, who is my guest today onthe Power Transformation Podcast
, and Coach T.
O.
helps individuals men,specifically become better
(00:27):
leaders in the home, workplaceand community.
He certainly is a trueinspiration and I look forward
to our conversation today.
I am telling you he has atransformational story and
welcome to the PowerTransformation Podcast.
I am your host, alethea Felton.
I am telling you he has atransformational story and
welcome to the PowerTransformation Podcast.
I am your host, alethea Felton.
(00:49):
I am so glad that you havejoined me here today.
It is because of you that thispodcast continues to have such
success and we want to jumpright into this interview with
Coach T.
O.
I'm telling you Timothy "TO Clayis a name that you want to jump
right into this interview withCoach TO.
I'm telling you Timothy TO Clayis a name that you want to
remember because he is already amover and a shaker.
(01:12):
But I'm telling you y'all, hehas what it takes.
He has his five pillar lightsystem L-I-G-H-T system that
truly system L-I-G-H-T systemthat truly, truly can help with
identifying and improvingleadership skills.
He is huge on helping people toget mental clarity, developing
(01:36):
the heart and the mind so muchmore.
So let's start with ouraffirmation, because this is
truly going to be somethingthat's life-changing.
I'll say our affirmation onceand you repeat it I am capable
of achieving my goals andcreating the life I want.
I am so excited today to havethe coach TO Clay yes, I put the
(02:04):
in front of him because thisman is one of the most
spectacular human beings I havemet, and I use that word
intentionally because ofeverything he is doing in the
lives of many.
So welcome to the PowerTransformation Podcast.
Coach TO.
T.O. Clay (02:22):
Oh, thank you so much .
I'm so happy to be here.
I'm lit right now.
You know the energy, themagneticism yes, always a
blessing.
Uh, just thank you so muchbecause I, I know, I know, you
know the importance of this,this, this, trust me, is those
type of moments that that isgodly, is what is what I would
call it.
(02:42):
It's truly godly and and godlyin a way of just the Lord
bringing his people together.
So I'm grateful and excited tobe here.
Alethea Felton (02:50):
I agree with that completely and I won't get
into it too much here.
But y'all we met through anamazing entrepreneurial
networking group.
It's a community that we're apart of and I'm telling you
there's just certain people whenyou meet you just hit it off in
certain connections that youhave where you might know
(03:13):
similar people or you're goingdown a similar path, and that is
Coach TO and you're going tolearn all about that.
But I like to always start witha fun, icebreaker, lighthearted
question, just so we can get toknow you a little bit more.
Your question is Coach TO.
With everything that you do,what do you like to do to relax?
T.O. Clay (03:36):
Oh man, I love to read.
I would say in these latteryears since retiring in 2021,
being able to read.
You know, I got books galoredown here in what I call my lab.
You know this is where it goesdown, yes, and I come in here
and I'm looking at a lot ofbooks.
(03:58):
Counterinsurgency, next Level,your Life STEM is everywhere
from Candansas, simmons, thebook of born, the risk that we
just dropped with a millionshout out to to all the
millionaire network.
So, uh, to relax, I likereading.
That that's a big one for me.
(04:20):
Um, you know, like I said inthe latter, you know I'm 48 now.
I'd say probably the last, Idon't know three years.
I've really ratcheted up thereading.
Another relaxing thing,obviously, uh, for for the
listeners and watchers out therechecking us out today, I love
to fish as well.
I love fishing you do now?
Alethea Felton (04:42):
I didn't know that because I grew up fishing.
Yeah.
T.O. Clay (04:46):
What do you like?
Do you like what deep seafishing?
Alethea Felton (04:51):
No.
So since I grew up in theVirginia Beach Norfolk Tidewater
area, we did ocean andsaltwater fishing.
Yeah, it was that saltwaterfishing, and I also used to crab
when I was a little kid, oh,okay.
All right, you know a littlesomething, something.
(05:12):
Oh that's good.
So thank you for just openingus up into that part of your
world.
Now, if a person were to askyou who is Coach TO Clay, what
would you say?
T.O. Clay (05:29):
First and foremost a man striving to walk in the
righteousness of God, thealmighty God.
That's number one I was raisedfrom.
You know from the onset that aput God first in all that you do
.
You know from the onset thathey, put God first in all that
you do.
So I love opening up with that.
You know I'm emphatic aboutthat.
(05:50):
When I speak to people I wantthem to understand that I'm
striving to have that go of thealmighty God, because to me
that's the zenith.
You know all the titles, youknow, know, which I'm sure we'll
get into as as we maneuver, uh,but nothing is more important
(06:11):
than a.
My name is to clay, timothy onil clay to be exact.
A lot of people ask where doesthe to come from?
My first name is timothy,middle name is O'Neal and that's
N-E-I-L, with the apostrophe O,apostrophe N-E-I-L, and that's
where the T-O comes from.
Um, I am a man of God.
(06:33):
Man, and what is that?
That's a man.
Uh, in here you know once again, at all those books I talked
about, I got this one too, andthat one.
As I've gotten older I began torealize man, there's so many
keys to unlock the situation,the issues that we're dealing
with on a daily basis.
Alethea Felton (06:54):
That's right and just for clarity if you're
listening to this and notwatching it, he held up the Holy
Bible, meaning that that is thefoundational book for him, that
leads and guides and moves him,and God has certainly guided
your life over the years.
(07:15):
And so, although now you'rebased in Atlanta, take us to
your early origins.
What was your childhood likeand what was one of your most
favorite childhood memories?
T.O. Clay (07:31):
Childhood.
I grew up in a town calledWinchester, kentucky, and
Winchester is probably about 15miles east of Lexington, so it's
really close.
Uh, probably about a good Idon't know 85 miles from
(07:51):
Louisville okay and so you knowchildhood.
I have great memories um a lotof great memories of my
childhood.
Like I said, fishing, fishing.
I would say probably one of themost important that I'm
grateful for is I had both mymother and my father in the home
(08:11):
.
I'm a PK.
For those listening, Me too.
Alethea Felton (08:18):
I don't think I ever told you that, but yes,
that's that godly again.
T.O. Clay (08:25):
It's so beautiful because I know you understand
the different layers of being aPK.
You know I didn't hear perverselanguage in my home.
I didn't see smoking anddrinking in my home.
Exactly Same here.
(08:48):
Yes, I saw, as I held up alittle bit ago, many Bibles
laying around the house and andand study guides and, uh, you
know my mom, you know,downstairs playing her piano as
first lady.
Uh, she'd be down there singingthem old Negro spiritual hymns,
that that the aroma goingthroughout the house.
It was just amazing.
And you know, I, I, I lovebasketball.
(09:10):
All the doors in our home, thetop of the door, was all scraped
up and banged up and ditched,because I would take hangers and
I'd make a hoop and and I wouldtake some, some, you know them,
old tangerine sacks, the orangeknitted sacks from the
tangerines or oranges.
I'd cut them up and I'd put mynets around the hanger.
Alethea Felton (09:34):
Wow yeah.
T.O. Clay (09:35):
I'd put it up above the door and I was hooping.
I spent, you know, 90 percentof the time in my house playing
ball on those makeshift goals.
I'm the youngest.
I have two siblings my olderbrother, kenny Shout out to my
man, kenny, who I was just withthis weekend down in Fort
Lauderdale, it was amazing andmy older sister, samantha we
(09:56):
call her Sam.
Shout out to Sam as well.
They're going to watch this.
I know they're going to watchit and that simple PK.
They're going to watch this.
I know they're going to watchit exactly, and that simple pk.
They.
They're going to be dialed inwith us.
But yeah, those are my fondmemories.
I mean, there's so many in thename, but the biggest.
I grew up in a loving family.
I grew up in a loving familythat taught us from the root a
(10:18):
god, and it was a small knitcommunity.
You know, my grandmother livedright up the street.
My uncles lived down the street.
My uncles lived down the street.
My other uncle lived down thestreet.
My other uncle lived down thestreet because my father, he's
the youngest of nine.
Alethea Felton (10:31):
Okay.
T.O. Clay (10:32):
You know so a lot of his older brothers lived all
around.
And the Clay Root man that ClayRoot, for those of you all
checking us out today, hey, thatClay Root in Kentucky runs
really, really deep.
Alethea Felton (10:45):
It does.
That's a common last name andwe can talk more offline about
that.
But, yeah, for you to be fromthere and to hear that last name
that is something that I doknow of is maybe not your exact
family history, but theinfluence of the Clay surname
(11:08):
Interesting.
Yeah, so we'll talk about thatand I love how you talk about
how you had this village and youhad love, and what's so
beautiful is the work you do nowdefinitely exudes love, and
we'll go back and talk moreabout your origin story, but
(11:30):
let's take a pause here andshare in your own words what you
do professionally now.
T.O. Clay (11:39):
Absolutely Professionally.
I help individuals develop asleaders in the home, in the
workplace, in the community, viathe five pillar light framework
L-I-G-H-T Light.
Simple L is love, I isintellect, g is greatness, h is
(12:03):
health and T is truth.
And within those five pillars,some people need love.
Some people love to sit backand have the intellectual
conversations and talk about ourorigins as people and the
cosmos and how bees pollinateand how it affects us today in
(12:24):
our eco environment.
Greatness, greatness is allaround us.
Alethea Felton (12:29):
That's right.
T.O. Clay (12:30):
Greatness is right now, god, god brought this great
you know aspect of you and Ibeing able to come together and
and being able to impact it andpartake from one another in
order to to help others and andright now, mental health is a
big thing.
Alethea Felton (12:48):
Yeah.
T.O. Clay (12:48):
You know physical fitness big thing.
You know I served many years inthe military and that's, you
know, a huge thing for militarypersonnel is physical health.
You know mind, body and spirittype thing, but just overall
healthiness, man, healthyrelationships.
You know it's physical health,you know, mind, body and spirit
type thing, but just overallhealthiness, man, healthy
relationships.
You know, healthy environments.
(13:09):
I could go on and on abouthealth.
You know we are what we eat.
You know, and the last pillar istruth, you know, I believe you
know truth is, is, is square,there's a square around us.
You know, and you, you got, yougot.
You know you got 90, 90, yougot 90 and you got 90, and
(13:32):
that's 360, you know, and that360 around us is being
consciously aware.
You know that that that God istrue.
Again, I, yeah, I'm not going to, you know, overstate it, but
for me personally, you know,what I do now professionally is
in alignment with my heart, withmy passion, with my superpower,
(13:59):
with my why, and that's why I'mgrinning right now, because I
love it, I love seeing peoplethrive, I love helping
individuals.
Now, you know, as professionals, we know that whiff them
statement type of thing.
What's in it for me and ifyou're listening to this or
watching, what's in it for youis a safe space.
(14:23):
It is a light within you.
Every single one of us shortbursts.
We all have light.
I always think about Iron manin the amazing movie Endgame,
when that light started to getdim and he was laying there,
everybody across the world's inthe theater looking like Iron
(14:47):
man can't die?
No way, not Iron man man, no wayAll the history.
But the reality is, sometimesour light gets dim and we need
love.
We need to go into thecatacombs of someone that can
use the proper intellect to beable to pull back in on us and
help us, whether that's therapy,whether that's, you know, going
(15:10):
and speaking with the pastor,whether that's speaking to the
fireman so I can go on and onbut professional, that's what it
is, if you don't rememberanything else.
Out there, it's the light, andwe all have light and we want
those light bulb lessons that weall experience through our life
to be a beacon to guide us tomove forward in our lives every
(15:33):
day and I think in in you justdiscussing that light framework,
but also knowing that light iswhat counters darkness, because
we all experience those darkspaces.
Alethea Felton (15:51):
And in fact, coach Tio, you had a period of
darkness that kind of came inyour youth periods, but then the
light came and you weresnatched out of it.
Periods, but then the lightcame and you were snatched out
of it.
So there was a time in yourlife when you had some youthful
recklessness that truly couldhave destroyed your destiny, but
(16:13):
it didn't instead.
So speak a little bit aboutthat and take us back to a
pivotal moment in your life whenyou realized that something
needed to change.
And what was that internalshift like and how did that
shape the man who you are today?
T.O. Clay (16:32):
Yes, absolutely Great , great question.
I love it.
You know, my heart starts to,you know, beat a little bit
faster because that takes meback to that moment.
It takes me back to, you know,those feelings.
It takes me back to why I'm sopassionate about the light today
.
And, just for the listeners outthere, I'm 48 years old today.
(16:57):
Thank be to God.
I've seen 48 years on thisplanet and, as my great sister
said, you know, we allexperience darkness and
sometimes, when you're around,others that are working and
walking in that purpose and outtrying to heal and help people,
(17:18):
and you know, as we would quotesay, you know, trying to save
the world or the community withit, and attacks can come from
all angles.
Like I said, I'm the baby boyand I was attacked.
Like I said, growing up in thathousehold and not seeing a lot
of things of the world, I wasshielded from many things that
(17:38):
once I started going outside thehome and visiting friends'
homes and some of my own familymembers, cousins, things of that
, I started seeing things that Iwas like, wow, I'm intrigued,
you know, I'm intrigued to seethat red cup and the smell.
And it doesn't smell like sweettea, it doesn't smell like
Gatorade, it smells likesomething that I ain't smelled
(18:00):
before.
So, hey, no, you're right, yeah, absolutely, you know, and that
I ain't spelled before.
So, aiden, no, you're right,yeah, absolutely.
And I'm sure to the listenersand you can get the point of
what I'm saying, I was intriguedby certain things that I just
didn't see growing up around me,internal to my household, and
it morphed into being exposed tothings, and one of the things
(18:25):
that I was exposed to that wesee prevalent out there today I
was exposed to weed marijuana.
Mary Jane, buddha, you know,sitsamia, whatever, whatever
you're listening to this.
Alethea Felton (18:39):
Yeah, that's right.
T.O. Clay (18:41):
Dank, whatever it is.
I was exposed to that, that'sright.
Whatever y'all call it, dank,whatever it is, I was exposed to
that, and I was exposed to itby an individual that I had a
lot of trust and faith in.
You know, they shared a lot ofthe same rights as myself, which
was basketball, and thatindividual.
You know I would never sit hereon any platform and blame that
individual, for you know whattook place after that particular
(19:04):
, what I call gate.
You know, you you've heard itclinically as a gateway and all
that good stuff.
For me it actually was.
Uh, I'm not saying that it isfor anybody else, but, to your
claim, that was the gate thatopened up.
You know the gates for me thattook me to a place, like you
just said, where I'm lucky to bealive.
I'm lucky to be sitting heretoday.
Lucky to be alive, I'm lucky tobe sitting here today.
(19:26):
Um, and I'm grateful to besitting here today because it
went from marijuana to okay,well, you know I'm used to
smoking weed.
Uh, well, what, what's that?
White stuff?
You got right there.
This is powder cocaine.
Man, try it, you're gonna takea bump.
It ain't going to do nothing,it's just going to make you feel
perky, make you feel hot.
(19:47):
I tried it.
You know, after a while, okay,you keep graduating.
Next thing, you know we'retaking it and we're sprinkling
it on the marijuana.
You know something different,something new.
You know, when I say we, therewas other individuals that I was
engaged with.
You know executing thesedifferent things Because, again,
(20:08):
environment is very important,people, places and things is
very important, and I didn'tlearn that until down the road,
going through recovery, andultimately I ended up abusing
crack cocaine.
You know, I'm 17 years old,just turned 17, 16 to 17 years
old, and I found myselffull-blown smoking crack cocaine
(20:32):
.
You know I'll say that again.
You know, in case someonedidn't hear it 17 years old,
timothy O'Neill, clay TO Clay, Ifound myself little preacher's
son, pk, youngest of three and agood home, good house
absolutely.
(20:54):
I ended up in that dark place.
Alethea Felton (20:56):
Wow, you know so what was the straw?
What was the crossroads?
Because something miraculoushappened to you where your life
came to a crossroad where youcould have either gone this way
or that way.
Tell us about that miraculoushappening at that crossroads
(21:21):
that really changed your life.
T.O. Clay (21:24):
Oh, absolutely my pleasure.
Again, I am grinning again, ifyou're listening.
I'm grinning right now becauseI can't help it.
It's real, you know.
It's being really, trulypresent in the moment.
It's true authenticity.
This moment, right here, 3September 2024, it is real and,
(21:45):
and miraculously, you know, Iwas able to spend this past
weekend in Fort Lauderdale,florida.
This just past weekend, with aman who got to a place to where
he didn't know what to do.
He realized that the only thingI know to do with my young baby
(22:09):
boy, son, is go to God andsurrender, because I can't do
anything else for him.
I can't keep him out of jail.
I can't keep him from stealingout of my wallet when I ain't
looking.
I can't keep him from beinggone for 30 days at a time and
we don't know if he's dead oralive.
I can't keep him.
I can't keep him.
He goes to God and he saysFather, god, my son is prodigal
(22:31):
right now.
I know the story in the word.
I've stood in the pulpit andpreached this word for years and
now I'm being attacked andexperiencing the exact same
thing with my own baby boy, son.
I surrender Father God.
(22:52):
And I'd been out.
I'd been out and I got to aplace.
I said, man, I want to go home.
You know, I was telling my mom.
I said, you know, ma, Iremember it vividly.
I was actually.
I was missing my mom.
You know I was missing themeals and that motherly love
that only a mother can give.
(23:13):
And I went to the house and mydad came to the door.
Long story short, he was likeyou don't live here, you don't
belong here.
You're not coming up in here.
Go back out there where youwant to be.
Go back out there in that worldwhere you want to be.
Go back out there in that worldwhere you want to be.
But you will not bring thatmess or your messy self up in
(23:35):
here.
And I'm not paraphrasing.
I'm standing on the porch and Ihad never heard my dad talk to
me like that all the years.
I'm like 18 years old at thetime.
I said, dad, I just want tocome home.
I don't want to be out there.
No more, I need help.
(23:57):
Those simple three words,sister, I need help.
Began that transformationprocess because my dad he said,
excuse me.
He said you want help, youreally want help.
Okay, come in here, come inhere right now.
Walked in the house, he turnedthe light on in the living room.
(24:20):
Once you walk in the house thatwe lived in at that time, he
said get on your knees right now.
I got on my knees.
I'll tell the story to the dayI transitioned off this planet
forever.
I got on my knees.
He said you know you want help.
There's only one source thatcan help you.
Alethea Felton (24:42):
That's right.
T.O. Clay (24:43):
And he started praying, my mom was on her knees
over by the piano.
And you know this is notfolklore man, this is not
allegory, this ain't spookyism,this is real.
And once he began to pray, hewas taking his hand and he was
stroking the back of my neck.
He's stroking the back of myneck and he's praying,
(25:06):
deliberate.
You know, come out of him.
You will not take my son.
You know this is my child andFather, god, restore right now,
in the mighty name.
He's praying, he's praying andI'm crying, my mother's crying.
Next thing, you know, I juststarted vomiting.
Wow, remember, when I looked atit it almost looked like, like,
(25:30):
like, uh, dog vomit and it justjust white and gooey and just a
big old pile on my mama's carpet, and just it it pretty much
looked like everything that Ismoked and put into my system
all came up at once and was in apile for me to look at, right
in front of me, and he said rise, my son.
(25:52):
He said get up and receive it.
And I think for the listenersout there that may have someone
in your family maybe yourself, afriend that's dealing with
these type of vices, theseaddictions, he said you have to
receive it and you must claim it.
You must claim the victory,because the victory is done.
(26:14):
And man in that moment Istarted giving thanks and to
this day you know that wasprobably in 1997, early 97.
Alethea Felton (26:31):
Wow so, 27 years ago, 27, 27 years.
This is October.
Now, yes, yeah, yeah 27 years.
T.O. Clay (26:48):
I've been drug free.
Alethea Felton (26:48):
ever since I've never trusted ever again in my
life and I still claim thevictory today, that's right.
T.O. Clay (26:54):
And I have to say this sis, I still claim that I'm
not.
You know, I'm not afraid to sayit.
Anyway, some people why wouldyou say that you know words have
power?
Yeah, they do, but I'm anaddict.
Addict, the only difference isI choose not to use yeah I still
have those same trigger points.
(27:16):
People places things that'sreal but yeah, man, thank you
for allowing me to share that ofcourse.
Alethea Felton (27:25):
Yes, of course, because sometimes people live
day to day trying to keep it alltogether and they may see a
person's glory and not knowtheir story, have no idea and
only see the success and notknow the is that you had a
(27:48):
chance and I respect you forthis.
You had a chance to serve, ifI'm not mistaken, 23 years in
the military.
T.O. Clay (27:57):
Yes, 23.
Alethea Felton (27:58):
Tell us about that journey, because not only
did you serve in the UnitedStates Marine Corps, but you
moved way up the ranks.
Yes, ma'am, marine Corps, butyou move way up the ranks.
How in the world do you go frombeing a quote-unquote drug
addict to serving in the MarineCorps, and how has being a
(28:19):
Marine shaped even the journeyyou're on now in terms of
coaching, speaking and helpingothers?
Take us on that trip.
T.O. Clay (28:30):
Oh, my goodness, man, it's, it's, it's a trip.
You know, it really is a trip.
And and that's again, man, thatglow, we opened up and as I
spoke about man, that that,trying my best to just walk in
righteousness, man, it's like,uh, I realized the impact of my
story.
You know, I realize that, hey,every one of us have a story.
(28:55):
You know, and I've hadgentlemen to say, hey, man, clay
, for me it wasn't drugs, it wasabuse.
Clay, for me it wasn't drugs,it was, it was alcohol.
Clay, it was gambling.
You know, whatever it could be,excuse me, but to be quite
honest, that same man stood inthe courtroom with me and I was
(29:21):
released.
Alethea Felton (29:23):
Wait, wait, wait the courtroom.
T.O. Clay (29:26):
Yes, yes, circuit court to be exact.
Alethea Felton (29:29):
So you were charged with something.
T.O. Clay (29:33):
I was incarcerated twice.
You know, I went, I went tojail.
Alethea Felton (29:39):
Hold on.
T.O. Clay (29:39):
Hold on yes.
Alethea Felton (29:41):
You got to make this plain you were incarcerated
, yet you had the audacity toend up being in the Marine Corps
.
T.O. Clay (29:51):
Yes, I actually had to go in front of a circuit
court judge to be released to goto the Marine Corps the Marine
recruiter.
He stood right next to me.
Because here's the thing andthis is very profound and
impactful because I played a lotof sports, I wasn't smoking
(30:13):
drugs from elementary school allthe way up until leaving to go
to the Marine Corps Late 16, 17,.
That little patch right there.
But there's so many significantthings that happened prior to
Exactly my love.
What I didn't mention when youasked me about what do I like to
(30:35):
do to relax?
Fishing, yes, reading, yes.
But my most profound love, sis,is basketball.
I love hooping, I love hooping.
I love basketball and themental saboteurs that I was
dealing with, with a lot oftransition that was happening
leading up to the whole fallfrom grace type thing, if you
(31:00):
want to call it that.
I wasn't playing ball anymore,ok, anymore, okay, I start
running with the wrong crowd.
Uh, you know all sorts ofdifferent things that led up to
that, but you know, therethere's, there's a memoir out
there that you could.
You can exactly learn all aboutthat.
Yeah, I want to really addressyour question because I've been
(31:22):
on many podcasts, but I promiseyou, man, you, you fired the the
best questions I've been askedoh, thank you, that's what every
single guest says.
Alethea Felton (31:31):
I'm just keeping it plain with you.
But yeah, but how do you gofrom the courtroom to the Marine
Corps?
T.O. Clay (31:41):
Yes, I have to say I knew.
If I'm going to join anyservice man, I got to go to the
best.
Shout out to the Army, shoutout to the Air Force, shout out
to the Navy, the Coast Guard,space Force, man, we love you
all, but as a United StatesMarine, it's only one Marine
(32:04):
Corps.
Alethea Felton (32:04):
That's what my uncle says.
T.O. Clay (32:06):
Yes, yes, and that's not bragging, that's not
arrogance.
I mean, our track record speaksfor itself.
You know the New York Yankeeshave losses, the LA Lakers,
boston Celtics, tiger Woods,they all have losses.
The Marine Corps, on record,still this day, has no losses.
Any contingency, any fight, anybattle, any war.
The Marine Corps has no losses,any contingency, any fight, any
(32:28):
battle, any war.
The Marine Corps has no lossesbecause the Marine Corps is
comprised of a lot ofindividuals.
Just like me, you know we comefrom the mud.
Alethea Felton (32:37):
For a lot of us.
I'm sorry, go ahead.
Yeah, no, that's true, becauseeven with my uncle's story of
getting in it wasn't exactlylike yours, but it was a matter
of my grandparents were reallyat their wits ends with him.
T.O. Clay (32:55):
Yeah, yeah, see again , that's.
That's why, if I was just setwith him, we have a natural bond
, not only just in the fact thatwe're Marines, but we have a
bond and understanding.
The Marine Corps is thesmallest branch of service, but
we have a bond and understanding.
The Marine Corps is thesmallest branch of service.
The Marine Corps yes, yes,Marine Corps is usually around
about one hundred eighty fivethousand strong kind of dances
(33:17):
in that window.
One hundred eighty five, maybeone, eighty six, but I ended up
there.
The proud, the few, the Marine,it makes sense now.
Yes, oh, I see, okay, the feudof proud, yes, so, uh it, it was
(33:38):
destiny.
And, like I said, I played alot of sports.
I was used to getting yelled atfrom coaches and, you know,
getting fired up in the lockerroom and and that camaraderie
and that, that bonding and, uh,working hard in in basketball.
You know, I played organizedbasketball all the way up to,
you know, like my sophomore yearof high school, and things just
plummeted in a lot of what wewould say piss, poor decision
(33:59):
making.
But I was a young fella, takefull accountability for it.
And I stood in front of thecircuit court judge, and and she
said, if you, she said, if youwould have asked me to go to any
other branch of service, youwouldn't even be standing in
this courtroom.
She said but I know a littlebit about the Marine Corps.
(34:21):
Because how do I know?
She said because my grandfatherwas a Marine and he practically
raised me was a Marine and hepractically raised me.
She said, but I'm going to tellyou this you know, the Marine
Corps is not going to play gameswith you, you know.
So it could be double jeopardyfor you.
You go there and you starthacking them full.
You're going to be in troublethere and then you'll come back
(34:43):
here and be in trouble as well.
And I remember she askedSergeant William Perry from St
Louis, missouri that was therecruiter that was trying to get
me in.
I remember she said do you haveanything, sir?
And he said you know, ma'am,thank you just for allowing us
to be here.
I can tell you, this young manwill never be in this courtroom
again.
This young man will be on a busto Paris Island, south Carolina
(35:07):
, by the end of this month andhe's not gonna ever look back.
That's right, and man, I'm sograteful for that moment.
And she told me.
She said well, if you do fouryears honorably, uh, I will
consider expunging your record,because at the time I had two
felonies for possession ofcocaine, paraphernalia,
(35:30):
marijuana.
You know, I've been, you know,caught up twice and, like I said
, all of that is prior to theprayer.
The prayer dad stroked my neck.
All of this is prior to that.
So when I came back home, I'msaying, hey, I don't know what
to do.
I need help.
You know, I don't want to goback to jail, I don't want to
(35:51):
end up dead, because when you'reout there fooling with that
stuff, that's your alternativeYou're either going to end up in
prison or you're going to endup dead.
There's never a good endingstory to living that lifestyle
or being, you know, in that typeof conducive environment.
So I ended up in the MarineCorps and I that type of
conducive environment.
So ended up in the Marine Corpsand I thrived.
You know, because, like I said,I was used to, you know,
(36:13):
organized sports and playingball and you know my parents
were real Like we couldn't getup as kids and not make our bed.
You know, we had to clean thekitchen, we had to take the
trash out, I had to be out inthe yard with daddy picking up
leaves and all of that goodstuff.
You know we were in Kentucky.
Kentucky gets cold.
I'm out there cutting wood tobring in the house and put in
(36:35):
the fireplace.
So I had a structure.
So, learning that structurealong with the Marine Corps,
going through boot camp 13 weeks, I needed that and that was the
biggest thing.
It was like man, I'm gettingsober, I'm getting back into
shape and I'm ultimately findingmyself again, and I share that
(36:57):
with anyone listening, watching.
Sometimes we lose ourselves,sometimes we don't know who we
are, and sometimes you have tomake a bold adjustment.
Something miraculous has totake place.
It may require you to move, itmay require you to walk away
from the job that you're onright now, but unless you make a
(37:18):
bold adjustment, you canprobably expect for a lot of the
same results.
Alethea Felton (37:23):
Wow, that is absolutely incredible.
That is absolutely incredible.
And y'all, coach Tio, he's ahumble man and he doesn't brag
on himself, but I will sharewith you that, yes, while he
spent 23 years in the MarineCorps, he worked himself all the
way up to E-9, which is asergeant major.
(37:46):
He's a retired sergeant major.
He's a retired sergeant major.
So throughout your career,coach Tio, you helped others
through your story and you helpothers pull out lessons from
their own stories and lives.
But you had to do some coachingthere.
You had to give discipline.
(38:07):
You help people with mentalclarity, decision making, all of
that, and so I could talk toyou forever, but our time is
coming to a close.
What leadership lessons fromthe military has most influenced
(38:32):
your approach to how you doyour coaching business now?
What do you apply in coachingthat you did in the Marines?
T.O. Clay (38:43):
Okay, what do I apply in coaching?
Now?
Again, the greatest questionsI've had.
Man Like this, this isabsolutely amazing and I thank
you so much.
Alethea Felton (38:56):
Thank you, sir, thank you.
T.O. Clay (38:58):
It's, it's it's serving, it's serving leadership
for one.
You know, and you're right.
I don't like to talk aboutmyself a lot, you know, I just
don't.
But when it comes to coachingand what I learned as a United
States Marine, it's simple.
All Marines know this, that I'mabout the same.
(39:19):
And if you're listening in,write it down, put it in your
notes on your phone, because itreally truly works.
And it's this free game righthere.
You know it's free game, Idon't claim it, I learned it as
a Marine and I still apply it tothis free game right here.
You know it's free game, Idon't claim it, I learned it as
a Marine and I still apply it tothis day.
And it's a phrase called JJ.
(39:40):
Did Ty Buckle?
I'll say it again JJ is, if I'mhaving a conversation with just
a normal person, hey, jj, didTy Buckle?
Having a conversation with justa normal person, hey, jj, did
(40:02):
Ty Buck?
Now that J is justice, judgment, dependability, integrity,
decisiveness, tact integrity,integrity, enthusiasm, bearing
endurance, as you were,unselfishness I'm sorry I got it
screwed up.
B is bearing, u isunselfishness, c is courage, k
(40:25):
is knowledge, l is loyalty and Eis enthusiasm.
I think the first E wasendurance, endurance.
Okay, got you.
I think the first E wasendurance.
Alethea Felton (40:34):
Endurance Okay, got you, got you, I understand.
T.O. Clay (40:38):
Absolutely, but that phrase has saved many lives
across this nation.
When you're riding down thestreet and you see that car in
front of you that has thatlittle Marine Corps emblem.
Alethea Felton (40:56):
Yeah.
T.O. Clay (40:57):
You know that gold seal on the bumper or on the
license plate.
Know that that simple term JJdid Ty Buckle has saved many
lives.
Wow has restored many lives,such as myself, such as your
uncle, you know, and countless.
Marines, male, female, myselfsuch as your uncle and countless
Marines male, female, black,hispanic, it doesn't matter Once
(41:26):
we all learn justice, judgment,dependability, initiative,
decisiveness, tact, integrity,enthusiasm, bearing
unselfishness, courage,knowledge, loyalty and endurance
, like all of those things youhave to apply in your life.
You know you have to governyourself.
I won't go through each one,but you know I use that still to
(41:47):
this day.
When I'm speaking to youth,when I'm speaking to
corporations, when I'm speakingto the church organizations, I'm
speaking to my own sons.
That's right.
I got a 15-year-old and a10-year-old.
I just took my son yesterday,my 15-year-old, to get his first
suit.
Oh, dnk, suit City, one of thebest in Atlanta Shout out to DNK
(42:09):
.
But those older gentlemen inthere understood the assignment.
They understood, okay, thislittle young 15-year-old got his
dad with him, got his littlebrother 10-year-old with him.
We're going to get him readyfor his first high school dance
as a freshman.
And I'll tell you, sis, it wasan amazing experience because
those other gentlemen were ableto pour in.
(42:30):
They were talking to him aboutthe things such as barring, like
, hey, man, when you step out,you want to have bearing.
What's a nice young lady goingto look at?
When they first look at you,young man, my son was like they
say she's going to look at yourfeet.
Alethea Felton (42:44):
That's right.
So will that's right.
Hey, if we had the bullhornright now, that would be Exactly
.
T.O. Clay (42:55):
That's it, yes man oh yeah, oh man, they schooled my
young, schooled him.
But but again, like you said,save for time.
Uh, that's, that's justsomething simple that I use.
Of course, jj, didn't tiebuckle man, I'll take that with
me forever.
Alethea Felton (43:13):
Of course, and in terms of your story in your
book From here to there,prodigal and Back, and of course
you're also in Born to Risk,but from here to there, prodigal
and back, you talk aboutredemption in a world full of
(43:34):
temptations.
And so what would you say tosomeone who may be listening or
watching, but they absolutelyfeel stuck when it comes to
their cycle of self-doubt orpoor habits and struggling to
find their way out?
What would you say to them as atip to at least start the
(43:56):
process of getting themselvesunstuck from that which has them
bound?
T.O. Clay (44:02):
Yes, first and foremost man I know God is is is
this conversation because I'mactually dealing with a close
individual right now thatobviously I don't consider as a
client.
He's a friend, he's a personI've known quite some time and
(44:25):
he used that exact thing thatyou just said.
He says I'm stuck.
I don't have clarity.
Alethea Felton (44:34):
It's.
T.O. Clay (44:35):
I'm stuck, I don't have clarity, I'm all over the
place.
Wow, I feel alone.
And hearing him saying thesethings from from the coaching
mindset, for starters, I knowhe's the hero, I'm the guy you
know and, being a listening earas the guy you know, I want him
(44:56):
to hear himself.
We're having a dialogue oninstant messenger and we're not
talking ear to ear on the phone.
I hear his voice in his mind.
We're using instant messenger,so he's sending a message.
I send a message back, send amessage.
And you know I told him, I saidsometimes you know you could
(45:19):
speak your own solution.
You know it takes.
It takes a deeper level ofintuition.
It takes a deeper level ofunderstanding what we're dealing
with.
A lot of times you knowsymptoms of things.
You know I look at these thingsand I say, okay, for me
personally, I know that I battlewith depression.
(45:42):
It's a part of me, you know I,I, I see visions and and and you
know, I know a hundred percentthere's certain tools that I
must utilize daily and somethingsimple as taking my fingers and
rubbing my index finger with mythumb calms me.
So, again, those tools.
So, with him, hearing him openup because some people they
(46:07):
don't know how to open up, theydon't know what to see, they're
looking for anything to clingtowards.
Sometimes they're suffering insilence, as we both know.
But to say, hey man, I care bro, is one thing, but to actually
show the action of really caring, taking a step towards him
(46:27):
Because, like I told, him.
I understand my saboteur, takinga step towards him Because,
like I told him, I understand mysaboteur.
My saboteur could be being astickler towards you, or you're
toxic, or you got things goingon.
I'm too busy right now, orwhatever the case may be.
But, like I told him, you knowI care in a deeper layer that I
(46:49):
want to see you understand that,hey, man, there is light bro,
there is a light in you, andtrying my best to get him to see
that a lot of times is allowinghim, as that hero, to speak.
Okay, I hear myself sayingthese specific things, but I
also know, deeper into intuitionof me, that there was something
(47:13):
that really happened that gotme to this place yes, exactly
and and how, how to, how toreally be in touch with that
internal, like I said, peopleplaces in things.
There's certain things that it'sgoing to always be.
There's no, oh magic pill thatjust fixes, you know, I I feel,
(47:34):
yeah, there's pills out there.
Don't get me wrong, that's notfor everyone and some people
don't choose to go that route.
But being a listening ear, Ithink, I think we could do so
much better as a society ingeneral with that interpersonal
communication, personalcommunication.
Alethea Felton (47:50):
Exactly yeah, wow, yeah, and I will definitely
be keeping your friend in myprayers, please do.
We all use help sometimes, soat least your friend felt
vulnerable and safe enough to atleast come to you.
Yes, share.
(48:12):
Yes, enough to at least come toyou, share and so.
So, if a person wants to buyany of your books or find out
how they can connect with you,do you have a website?
Are you on social media?
How can they even hear your?
And we didn't even talk aboutyour own podcast and how you
have a show, so so how canpeople learn more about you?
(48:34):
I'm going to have to have youon again in the future because
we can talk about a lot of otherthings, but how can a person
contact you?
T.O. Clay (48:42):
Easiest way to contact me would be to call
770-383-1967.
770-383-1967.
That's a direct pipeline to meTO Clay Lightbulb Lessons.
I'm going to answer, trust me,that last question that you just
(49:05):
asked.
It's real man.
I could probably answer thatquestion in 20 different ways,
because each individual isindividual in terms of what
they're going through.
So I want to be contacted.
I, like you said, I'm sograteful just to hear my man's
voice.
Alethea Felton (49:25):
That's right.
T.O. Clay (49:26):
To know that.
Hey TO, I love you, bro, andthis is what I'm experiencing,
and that's the first step tothat real healing is the admit
it, dad, I need help.
And the breakthrough happened.
Hey TO, I need help.
Next thing, you know, becausehe's a veteran as well, like hey
man, you know you could go tothe VA.
You know it just opens up thecorridor for God to move.
(49:49):
So also wwwlightbulblessonscom.
That's all one wordlightbulblessonscom.
If you typed in light bulb, I'mpopping up somewhere.
You're going to see a podcastepisode, you're going to see a
training, you're going to seesomething and you can purchase
(50:10):
the book there.
That's right.
If you go to that website, tothat Web site, you will see it
is there, it's a great book,it's a great read and I'm not
being biased about that.
It is really my life and in theimpact that I've experienced
since it came out in March hasbeen amazing.
(50:30):
It's touching lives, it'sreally touching lives and it
took courage to speak that story.
You know, because, like yousaid earlier, a lot of people
just see the success now.
Oh, he's successful.
Oh, he's this, he's coaching,he's podcast, he's a retired
Marine, he's got it all figuredout.
But no, you know, like you said, that darkness is right around
(50:53):
the corner.
That's right and we have to stayengaged.
These conversations, you knowputting ourselves in miracle
territory.
This is real miracle territory,right here Speaking with you,
and I can't wait to bring you onmy podcast.
Alethea Felton (51:07):
Thank you.
T.O. Clay (51:08):
You're welcome, known , as you know where leaders come
and we shine light.
That's it we're.
We're all leaders, we're fromall different backgrounds.
And what can we do to share ourlight bulb lesson to help
someone else?
If it's a personal agenda, orI'm coming on because I want to
get more followers, I want toget leads and I want to get man,
(51:32):
my, my show's not for you, it'sfor those calls to 770-383-1967
.
And some of the young fella outin New Mexico saying hey, man,
I listened to the show, it'samazing man, I learned so much.
I'm thinking about going to themilitary.
Or, hey, man, I love the lightand I'm trying to work on love,
(51:55):
because I'm not getting a lot oflove at home.
So how can I love better eventhough I'm not getting that love
reciprocated?
Alethea Felton (52:01):
so, and and all the different platforms in terms
of ig, uh, facebook, it's allin the to clinton I try to keep
it simple and and I'll put allof that in the show notes also
Random question Is your fatherstill living?
T.O. Clay (52:21):
Yes.
Alethea Felton (52:22):
Still alive, and your mom also.
T.O. Clay (52:24):
Yes.
Alethea Felton (52:26):
So the reason why I ask is as a closing
question when you think back towhen you showed up at your
parents' doorstep and youliterally had hit rock bottom,
yes, what would you say to themin terms of the gift that they
(53:00):
gave you that day that has ledyou to?
T.O. Clay (53:02):
be who you are right now.
Oh man, I have to say it.
You know, like I say, it's inreal time.
I was with my dad this pastweekend.
Oh, a lot of Florida.
Well, the He-Man Conference.
Shout out to Dr Oliver T Reedand all the He-Man brothers out
there, shout out.
We had the annual He-ManConference this past weekend in
(53:26):
Fort Lauderdale, florida.
My father, who's been preachingfor over 60 years, my brother,
who is a bishop right now, shoutout to my brother kenny, my big
brother.
They both got on the plane inthe storm and they flew down and
, mind you, everything thatcould have possibly happened to
stop this conference happened,because when you bring that
(53:51):
power of men into one room, wewe had speakers flying in from
all over, but I got to share ahotel space at the Marriott with
my dad up on the 16th floor.
The room number was 1607.
Soon, as you get off theelevator and bang the left in
the hall first room on the leftand I got to lay in my bed as
(54:15):
dad laid in the other bed, andwe'd land there on our sides
like little kids in the fetaland we're looking across at each
other and we're just talkingand I'm telling my dad that look
how far God has brought us.
Full circle, dad, and I'm ableto share this moment with you
and we're able to worship theLord together and we're able to
(54:39):
come together and pour intoother men, we're able to stand
in the gap and full circlecompletion.
Here we sit today and I said,dad, you're older man, you might
not be here next year.
I pray you are Knock on wood.
I pray, man, you might not behere next year.
I pray you are knock on wood, Ipray I am.
I may not be here next year,but we're present in the moment
(55:01):
and for every opportunity wehave together, man, I thank you.
I thank you for saying you knowwhat.
Okay, you want to come back home?
All right, come on in here andget on your knees.
You didn't let me come in andrun up to the room and close the
door and act like I don't knowy'all nothing In your house.
See, now I'm a man, now, now Ihave my own house and I tell my
(55:24):
sons like, hey, bro, you don'trun this crib, this is mine, you
know, and we're going to serveGod up in here, bro, I and we're
going to serve God up in here,bro, I'm not telling you it's
got to be no holy, roly, poly,but, man, we're going to pray
before we eat.
Man, we're going to pray as afamily.
A family that prays togetherstays together.
So, and my mother, man, blessher heart.
(55:47):
Man, I look just like my mother,you know, by the way, I look
just like a spitting image manand I shout her out all the time
because I tell her man, toevery strong man, there's a
strong woman.
You know a lot of people theymay think I'm crazy when I say
this, but the Holy Grail is thewoman, it ain't some rusty cup.
You know, on Indiana Jones, theHoly Grail is you, my sister.
(56:09):
You, the Holy Grail.
Look how many people you'reinspiring.
Grail is you, my sister, you,the Holy Grail.
Look how many people you'reinspiring.
You know the 100th episode manShout out to you Thank you,
thank you.
I'm so happy, man, to know you,to continue to work with you,
but again, tomorrow's notpromised man, our number one
asset is time and great mindscoming together, sharing our
(56:33):
intellect together to love thefeeling.
You're pk, I'm a pk man.
We we get.
We could change the world, meand you.
I believe that I believe youand I could change the world.
I believe a.
You know we don't.
We don't have to have on formernba jerseys and you know all,
all of this high power to makereal impact and we're doing that
(56:56):
now and I just want to thankyou today, man, for the platform
.
Alethea Felton (56:59):
Oh.
T.O. Clay (57:00):
Bill, I've been.
I've been looking forward tothis.
I told my dad this weekend, man, I've got a podcast coming up
Thursday.
It's going to be amazing.
Yeah, she fire.
And I'm just grateful, man.
Alethea Felton (57:12):
So I really appreciate that and thank you
for gracing this platform withyour presence, and I continue to
hope and pray nothing but thebest for you, your wife, your
children, your entire family,and you are doing incredible
things, and the best is yet tocome, and thank you again for
being on the PowerTransformation podcast.
T.O. Clay (57:34):
Thank you so much and , as we always love to say,
peace.
Alethea Felton (57:38):
Thank you for tuning in to this episode of the
Power Transformation Podcast.
If you enjoyed this episode, besure to follow or subscribe,
leave a five-star rating andwrite a review.
It helps us inspire even morelisteners.
And don't keep it to yourself.
Share it with someone who coulduse a little power in their
(58:01):
transformation.
Until next time, keep bouncingback, keep rising and be good to
yourself and to others.
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