March 27, 2025 • 55 mins
What if the person helping everyone else was silently unraveling inside? In this powerful episode, Lisa Greenberg opens up about her path through deep personal struggles, unexpected loss, and the quiet strength it takes to keep going. Her story is one of grit, grace, and the daily practices that helped her reclaim her life. Tune in for a conversation that will move you, challenge you, and leave you reflecting on your own resilience.
Connect with Lisa:
Episode 133's Affirmation:
I embrace the journey of life and trust that everything happens for a reason.
I invite you to leave a positive message with your insights, feedback, or uplifting message.
🔗 Connect with Alethea:
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Alethea Felton (00:07):
Life may be unpredictable, but we never know
where we will end up if wedon't keep going.
And today's guest chose to moveforward in spite of the
obstacles that were in her way.
And she also chose to cultivate, nourish and enrich her mental
(00:28):
health so that she could be alight and a joy to others, as
she has been now for many years.
And that is why it is my honorto have Lisa Greenberg as our
guest on the PowerTransformation Podcast, who
certainly has a story to tell.
And, with that being said,welcome to the Power
Transformation Podcast, whocertainly has a story to tell.
And, with that being said,welcome to the Power
Transformation Podcast.
(00:50):
I am your host, alethea Felton.
It is my honor to have you herewith me today, and if you're
new to this podcast, welcome.
Go ahead and follow andsubscribe like, leave a
five-star rating and write areview.
It is because of you that thispodcast continues to rank in the
top 5% of shows globally andcontinues to move higher with
(01:12):
each passing day.
I thank you for your support,and we're also on YouTube.
Subscribe to our YouTubechannel.
I am building that channelgradually so you won't see all
episodes from every singleseason, but you are going to be
seeing most up there as Icontinue to build the YouTube
(01:33):
channel along with my assistant,and so, with that being said,
we're gonna dive right into thisinterview.
We're gonna start first withour affirmation.
I'll say the affirmation onceand then you repeat it, and then
we'll jump right into thisinterview with Lisa Greenberg.
I embrace the journey of lifeand trust that everything
(01:55):
happens for a reason.
Lisa, welcome to the PowerTransformation Podcast.
Lisa Greenberg (02:03):
Thank you, alethea.
I'm so happy to be here withyou and I'm so grateful that you
feel that I have something Ican share.
I do believe we all do, and Ithank you so much for giving me
the time.
Alethea Felton (02:19):
Oh, you're so welcome.
Yes, you're so welcome, and youall.
She is so humble and justmodest because she's saying that
I think she has a story.
Listen when you all hear herjourney, when I talk about the
power transformation that peoplemake in their lives.
(02:39):
Lisa hands down, has that downpat, and I hope that one day,
perhaps if she's led to it's nopressure on my part, but if
she's led to, I already told hershe needs to write a memoir of
her life or something, becauseit's incredible.
But I want to start first withjust something lighthearted.
I always like a little funicebreaker question, and so this
(03:02):
is my question for you, lisa,and if you didn't have one, then
I'll modify the question butwho was either your childhood or
adult celebrity crush?
I know it right away.
Lisa Greenberg (03:21):
No question, david Cassidy.
Alethea Felton (03:24):
Oh, I know exactly who that is.
Tell us more.
What was it?
Oh my gosh.
Lisa Greenberg (03:30):
Well, listen, I'm 59.
And I think any woman my age,around my age, would probably
say that he was a heartthrob.
He was adorable, his music waslovely, he was in a show called
the Partridge Family and he wasjust amazing.
(03:52):
You know you have a crush onhim, you know if you're, if
you're a little girl back then.
And the funny thing is, oh mygosh, my walls in my room, from
top to bottom, were DavidCassidy's faces from all the
Tiger Beat magazines and all ofthat.
Now I lived in an apartment andI just remember one particular
(04:16):
day I wanted to hang up somemore pictures of him and I ran
out of tape and I usedtoothpaste out of tape and I
used toothpaste.
Oh my goodness, that ishilarious.
And then also, I went to aconcert and my stepfather was
with me and my mom, and at theend of a concert sometimes I
(04:37):
don't know if they still do this, but performers will throw out
things.
So he threw out his sweat ragand he threw out his water cup
and my stepfather called thewater cup and I saved it forever
.
And then I'll just add oneother little thing.
So then he had a brother namedSean Cassidy, who came out and
(05:00):
became popular later on and Iliked him as well, not as much
as David.
You see, I'm on a first namebasis with David.
Yes, you are, but it's funnybecause I went to a Sean Cassidy
concert I was a little olderand I came home and couldn't go
to school the next day because Iwas so in love with Sean.
(05:23):
I couldn't go to school thenext day, my poor mom.
Love with Sean.
I couldn't go to school thenext day, my poor mom.
So anyway, yeah, that was aneasy question, alisa.
Alethea Felton (05:29):
Oh that's fun.
That is such a fun way to start, and I'm so glad that I asked
that.
I was just curious, justanything.
You never know what I'm goingto ask, but it's going to be fun
and lighthearted.
That's really, really cool.
So, lisa, what I like to do nowis just, in your own words, I'm
going to switch up.
(05:50):
Usually, I'll ask a guest whois so-and-so, but this is what
I'm going to ask you instead.
What do you, lisa Greenberg?
What do you like the most aboutyourself?
You, lisa?
Lisa Greenberg (06:05):
Greenberg, what do you like the most about
yourself?
Okay, I, I love my kind heart.
Oh, I love my kind heart, yes,and I love that I want, I have a
desire every single day to bethe best version of myself that
(06:29):
I can be.
And I tell myself, as long as Icome from love in everything I
do today and I say that each dayas I pray in the morning, then
I know that all will be well.
And so I love that about myselfjust my kind heart, my desire
(06:52):
to really want to be the besthuman I can be, coming from love
, coming from a place of love.
Alethea Felton (07:00):
What a perfect answer, and I can say that I
have been a recipient of thatkind heart, and so that is
absolutely true, and that kindheart to say that from a woman
like you who has experienced somuch in your life.
Some of your experiences couldhave caused you to become
(07:24):
stonehearted and bitter andresentful, but yet that didn't
happen.
So let's, in a sense, go backto some of the origin stories of
you and so growing up.
Well, you spoke about going toconcerts, things of that nature,
but you share with me that youhad young parents and things of
(07:48):
that nature.
So just take us back on ajourney where I'd like you to
just tell us what was your earlyunderstanding of life at a
young age and how did thoseexperiences almost shape the
path or the trajectory of yourentire life story?
Lisa Greenberg (08:11):
Okay, you know, I think as a young child I don't
know if we have anunderstanding then of what is
going on.
I mean, I certainly don't thinkI did then, although as I
(08:33):
became a teenager, what I knewand I'll go back in a minute but
as a teenager I really wasaware that everybody around me
was a mess and had a lot ofmental health issues.
So, going backwards I did.
(08:54):
I had young parents and I thinkback in the day people got
married younger.
My parents had me in theirearly 20s and they divorced by
the time I was two, their earlytwenties, and they divorced by
the time I was two, and so Iwould spend time with my father
on weekends.
Eventually not at first, I knowat first there was a lot of
(09:17):
arguing between my mom and dadand a lot of arguing about child
support.
I vaguely remember those fightsand whatnot.
So I spent most of my time atfirst with my mom.
It was this young I guess shewas, I would say 22, young,
single mom.
(09:37):
But, in time I spent Saturdayswith my dad and I loved him.
My dad was a hippie it was thetime, the 70s and he there were
(10:04):
things that were not okay thathappened while I was with my dad
.
No doubt, hands down, they werenot okay.
For example, my dad smoked pota lot and when we would be
together we would be driving, wewould be in the car, he would
be smoking and I rememberlooking out the window.
As a little girl I knew I guesshe had told me to not tell
(10:24):
anyone.
I somehow I knew that it wasn'tlegal and I didn't want to be
afraid and think that the policewere going to pull us over and
in time he would take me.
I didn't know this at the time,but now I know he was also
dealing drugs and so I would bea little girl going with my
(10:45):
father on drug deals and Iremember I remember us pulling
over on the side of a road and Iremember him getting out of the
car while I waited and a bigguy with a cowboy hat I still
remember up to him and there wasa drug deal.
Or I remember being with my dadand seeing this stuff.
(11:07):
That was like long and it wastie, stick, tie, weed, and I
just remember that.
But it was all like normal tohim.
You know all the drugs, allthat was normal.
Um, so much so that I rememberhim asking me if I wanted to try
it.
He didn't think anything waswrong with that.
I remember I don't know if Iasked him or if he said to me do
(11:32):
you want to learn how to roll ajoint?
It's crazy to think about.
I was probably at that point,nine or 10.
And I knew enough not to gohome to my mom and share it with
her.
And I loved him.
You know we would.
He had young girlfriends.
That wasn't appropriate, andyou know we would be together
(11:53):
and I'd be sitting on the sideof the bed while they were in
bed or, you know, they would goskinny dipping and I would sit
on the side of the the, the pond.
And then there were many daysthat he would call and I'd be
waiting by the door excited tohave him pick me up.
And he'd call and he'd say,lise, I'm sorry I can't come
(12:14):
today.
Now, at the time he would sayhe was sick.
I know now he probably hadpartied too hard or didn't want
to get out of bed with hisgirlfriend, but so I think, as a
little girl, that doessomething to you.
You know being let down and notbeing the priority.
And yet he loved me.
Alethea Felton (12:36):
And let me jump in here too and thank you for
that vulnerability andtransparency.
But one of the things you saidwhen you first started talking
about him was you loved your dad, and it's so amazing to me how,
in spite of his flaws andchallenges that he had, at the
(13:03):
end of the day he was daddy.
You knew that he loved you andyou loved him.
And so how do you reconcilethat at that age?
Or is it something that youthought about older?
That here my father was puttingme in potentially risky
(13:25):
situations, yet I love him somuch.
Is it more of a he only didwhat he thought was best or he
was doing the best he could?
How do you reconcile thatwithin yourself?
Lisa Greenberg (13:42):
So are you asking how I reconcile that now?
Or even yeah, yes, because as achild as a child.
Alethea Felton (13:50):
No, we aren't thinking about that as kids.
Lisa Greenberg (13:53):
But look, I'm clear, I'm pretty clear.
I know that his own parents didnot have their acts together.
His father, my grandfather,pulled a gun.
I learned that my grandfather,his father, was a pimp.
He owned a bar.
(14:16):
He was in just a whole not avery positive atmosphere his
whole life as a little boy, youknow, with his father being that
, and so I know that my gosh, mydad didn't have good role
models, healthy role models.
(14:37):
He saw that and so I know,without a shadow of a doubt, he
did the best.
He knew how he loved his littlegirl and he told me as, when I
was getting ready to go tocollege, he said Lisa, I don't
(15:01):
just love you, I like the personyou are.
And you know, I know peoplemight hear my story and think
how awful, what a terrible.
I don't think that way.
He was my dad.
No, he never read me stories.
No, I don't remember him, youknow, helping me with homework.
(15:23):
We never had any of thatremember him you know, helping
me with homework.
We never had any of that.
Alethea Felton (15:29):
any of that, I mean years later, and I don't
know if you want me to sharethat now or later.
Yeah.
So, yeah, I'll get to that part, but but no, thank you for
saying that, because justbecause he had this aspect of
his life and again, I'm notcondoning what he did, but it
doesn't make him a bad person,and I think that's what's
(15:51):
important to know is that we allhave our challenges, we all
have our struggles.
We all have something that wehave that may not be ideal to
the next person, whether we talkabout it or not.
It might not even be in ourpresent life, but something in
our life that we've done orcould still be doing.
(16:14):
The fact remains is that itdoesn't necessarily have a
reflection on a person'scharacter, and so I do
understand that your father didthe best he could to keep you
safe.
You knew that he loved you.
He still spent quality timewith you, even if it wasn't
going to the zoo or to the park,he still had you with him, and
(16:37):
I think that's very important.
And when you became a teenager,you actually moved in with your
father.
So tell me about moving in withyour father and then also talk
to us about when your father didultimately pass away.
(17:00):
And how did that crossing thethreshold moment affect you
emotionally and shape the waythat you dealt with adversity at
such a young?
Lisa Greenberg (17:13):
age a child.
My brother and I lived with mystepfather and my mom and my
brother for many years, like Isaid, seeing my dad on weekends.
My mom and my stepdad startedto talk about divorce and it
(17:38):
became very.
It wasn't good in the house.
It was.
I had to get out.
I knew that I couldn't staythere.
There were things happeningthat were were really difficult,
and so I moved in with my dadfor the first time at 16 years
old, which meant that I was alsogoing to be going to a new
(18:01):
school because I was going intoa different County.
I didn't know what I was movinginto.
I didn't know, and my fatherhad remarried as well and I
didn't know that now I wasmoving into a crack house and
(18:21):
what that looked like was Iwould go to sleep at night
before school and there would bemy dad and his wife and other
women and men in the living roomfreebasing smoking cocaine and
I would see that and go to bed.
(18:42):
I'd wake up for school.
They'd still be there with bigeyes.
You know the result of smokingcocaine all night.
I'd go to school, didn't knowanyone.
New school, trying to find myway, and I lived there for a
while and I even remember thisbrown wooden canister in the
(19:05):
kitchen and it was filled withquaaludes and not sugar.
Oh, the turning point was Icame home one day from school.
Alethea Felton (19:16):
Lisa, I'm sorry, just in case a listener or
viewer doesn't know.
I know, but can you explainwhat that is.
Doesn't know, I know, but canyou explain?
Lisa Greenberg (19:27):
what that is.
Quaaludes.
From what I understand and Idon't know if people still use
them today or not but backduring those years now at this
point it was the 80s.
Yeah, it was right around 1980.
I just remember there wassomething called Qualudes and
(19:48):
people would take them and Ibelieve it would make them very
promiscuous and I don't know.
Alethea Felton (19:54):
It's a type of narcotic.
Yeah, it's a type of narcotic.
Lisa Greenberg (19:59):
Okay, thank you so on this one particular day I
came home and my stepmom was inthe dining room and on the
dining room floor we had acarpet or a rug that was like
furry, really furry, funky furry.
Alethea Felton (20:21):
Shag type of rug .
Lisa Greenberg (20:22):
Yes, popular, yeah, more furry than shag yes,
yes, exactly.
Alethea Felton (20:25):
shag type of rugs popular.
Yeah, been more furry than shag.
Yes, yes, exactly.
Lisa Greenberg (20:27):
you can get there, but you can't and she was
standing there with a cigarettelike moving and you could.
She was really stoned and thecigarette dropped and I'm
standing there with her.
Just walked in my backpacks onmy back and she had no idea that
it dropped.
Alethea Felton (20:45):
Oh.
Lisa Greenberg (20:46):
And of course I picked it up.
I knew in that moment Icouldn't stay there anymore.
I knew that if I hadn't beenthere would the house have gone
up in flames.
So at that point I moved up,navigating my way and getting to
(21:08):
college, despite the fact.
Despite the fact that I didn'teven know what an SAT test was,
because one weekend my bestfriend, who I'd made now in in
high school, said that she wastaking the SATs that weekend and
I said what is that?
So I caught up pretty quicklyand found out and, you know,
(21:36):
took them and got into collegeand all the while I still had a
relationship with my mom and shewas again single.
And I remember thinking now letme just back up and say that
everywhere I looked at thatpoint in my life, everyone was I
(21:57):
don't know what word to usemessed up mental health issues.
And what do I mean?
Well, my father's my father youknew what was going on with him
my father's brother, my uncleFreddie, had schizophrenia and I
(22:17):
would, you know, be in hispresence sometimes and see what
that was, and that was hard towatch.
My mother was, you know, asingle mom.
Again.
She had some of her own anxiety.
She loved me.
She was very dear to me.
I adore my mom but she you knowshe was also, I think at the
time wanting to start datingagain was raising my brother
(22:42):
around.
You know he's nine yearsyounger than I am, so he was
still younger.
Um my mom's two siblings hersister was schizophrenic and her
brother, my uncle, had a lot ofissues depression, body
dysmorphic disorder, he was onmethadone maintenance and so
(23:04):
whenever I would visit mygrandmother, my mom's mom and
their mom, their mom I would bearound some of that mental
health stuff.
I would see my Aunt Carolcoming and and talking about
bizarre stuff.
I would hear my uncle goingthrough all of his rants and
raves and body dysmorphic.
(23:25):
He would see things on his handthat you didn't see.
It's just the mental health.
And then my grandfather.
I know now my grandfather hadOCD, there's no question.
I didn't know at the time, Ijust thought he was really odd.
But he would go in and out,check his car in and out, in and
out, in and out.
But he would go in and out,check his car in and out, in and
(23:47):
out, in and out.
I know now what it is because Ihave OCD, but my point being
there, was not one reallytogether person in my life, and
so going to college I finallyfelt like, ah, now I get to have
(24:07):
maybe some normalcy.
Alethea Felton (24:10):
Interesting.
Ooh, that is so profound, lisa,that that, wow, it's almost as
if, although you love yourfamily, it's almost a relief off
of your shoulders, in a sense.
That a call, if I'm notmistaken, and just tell me if
(24:52):
I'm right chronologically, butyou end up getting a call about
your father, correct?
Lisa Greenberg (24:58):
Well, I actually Did that come later.
Alethea Felton (25:00):
Yeah, it came later, okay, so let me jump here
.
Let's go to your twenties, okay, and your twenties is when you
got married, correct?
If I'm not, my father diedbefore that, prior that, yes, so
that's where I'm getting to.
You had some major close umcircumstances happen to you, and
(25:25):
I want to shift now into yourfinding your way in college, and
then you end up getting married.
(25:48):
You well, as you're married.
My point is that you end upultimately, as you stated, being
diagnosed with OCD, and let'stalk about that is talk about
those challenges that couldreally be seen as ordeals on
your life journey.
(26:08):
How did you confront suchtrauma, dealing with your father
and then something also withyour husband that you'll share,
and how, in the world, lisa, didyou keep going?
Lisa Greenberg (26:25):
hmm, alicia yeah I mean, I don't know.
Sometimes I don't know if Ihave an exact answer about how I
kept going.
Alethea Felton (26:33):
I don't know, that's okay, that okay to say,
girl, yes, that's okay and and Ilike that authenticity because
people are, people are goingthrough real stuff every day and
that's why I like to bringpeople on this show who are
(26:54):
going to be real In this era andday and time.
2024, 2025, we're doing this in2024, but it might not air
until early 2025.
2024, but it might not airuntil early 2025.
My point is, we see so manypeople now on these social
platforms and media, and I'm notsaying people have to tell
(27:15):
everything about their life, butthen again I'm like why not?
We hide the challenges, we hidethe scars.
We try as a society, we as asociety.
There is this emphasis on beingperfect and, at the end of the
day, people need real people whohave gone through raw things
(27:39):
and could still be going throughthose challenges, yet put one
foot in front of the other.
So let me rephrase the questionand just to share, to speed it
up, some on my part.
Your father passes, you'rediagnosed with OCD, you get
(28:01):
married, something happens toyour husband, share with us what
happened to your husband andthen that journey from there.
How in the world did you handlethe deaths of both your father
and husband in such tragic ways?
Lisa Greenberg (28:19):
Okay, I'm going to tell you that, but I am going
to say one thing yeah, go ahead.
While I know that I don't knowthat I have an answer to your
other question, I do want to addone important thing.
I had a therapist from the ageof 16 into my 40s.
(28:40):
Her name was Merle and I dobelieve and know that she played
a very huge part, and I do wantto add that my father did get a
big part of his life together.
He did come to me and say Idon't want to deal drugs anymore
(29:02):
.
Alethea Felton (29:02):
My friends are getting locked up, I'm afraid,
and he did stop, and so when hedied, which was a car accident,
he had gotten a good bit of hislife together oh, thank you for
sharing that, lisa, because Iknow offline, when we had our
pre pre-screening, I did notknow that, and so I'm so happy
(29:24):
to hear it because with all ofmy guests, just so that the
audience knows, ok, I likeconversation, and so with my
guests, when I prescreen them,it's more of getting a little
bit of their story but not themsharing it all, because I want
to be authentic and listeningand really having the excitement
(29:46):
, just like you all, and so I amso glad to hear that he had his
own transformation.
Lisa Greenberg (29:54):
Yes, yes, and so I wanted that said because,
thank you, that's important andthat's what also made listen,
death is never, never, ever,something that we feel good
about ever.
But what made it even morebittersweet for me was that he
(30:14):
had made some shifts and he hadbought taxi cabs and became
incorporated and ran a littletaxi cab business and I remember
him saying to me Lisa, this isso hard.
I would be dealing drugs, hewould say, and make major money
within a second.
Now I'm doing what's legal andI'm hardly making anything and
(30:38):
I'm working many more hours.
So I remember we had real talkslike that so anyway yeah,
that's beautiful to hear.
Alethea Felton (30:48):
That's wonderful .
Thank you for that.
Lisa Greenberg (30:52):
And so it was after he died that, all of a
sudden, I started to have thosesymptoms, which I didn't know
what it was, and I learned laterit was OCD.
And that was a very, verydifficult part of my life and it
took years, years with a doctorto find the right medication,
(31:15):
and I don't know how I gotthrough that time.
Alethea Felton (31:19):
To be honest, Do doctors know if it was
something that triggered it?
Or you mentioned one of yourgrandfathers, right so, I think
right so.
Is it a genetic link perhaps,right so?
Lisa Greenberg (31:33):
mental health issues are genetic and so you
know, and I knew, my mom hadanxiety.
So without a doubt I come by itvery honestly.
But my psychiatrist at the timedid say that oftentimes when
we're predisposed for mentalhealth issues like this and
something happens that is, youknow, just abrupt, like learning
(31:58):
about my father's death I wasawoken in the middle of the
night, learned that he waskilled in an accident, and so my
doctor said that probablybrought it on sooner.
So, yeah, I it was a.
That was a real journey.
I mean, thank God there'smedication, so.
But so your real question wasso my husband, in terms of your
(32:21):
husband you get married and thensomething happens to your
husband.
Alethea Felton (32:27):
So how did you handle that chapter of your life
?
Lisa Greenberg (32:31):
Right.
So we got married.
I knew that he had used somedrugs in college, but he wasn't
anymore.
At least I thought I learnedthat he had been using drugs.
He lied to me.
I found out, I followed him,saw him go into a dealer's house
(32:53):
, let him know that if he didn'tget help that this marriage was
going to be over.
Because I had already struggledwith my dad's life experience
losing him, dealing with my ownOCD for five years, the struggle
, and now I was like able tobreathe, and now this.
(33:14):
So I said no, I'm not having alife like this.
And so he did go away.
He had treatment and he cameback and life seemed to be okay.
I mean, he was not without hisown struggles and issues and
family dynamics there and healso had OCD, which was crazy
and his sort of surfaceddifferently than mine and he
(33:38):
didn't attack his and focus onhis and the way that I was.
But you know, life was okay.
I mean it was never super easy,but he wasn't using drugs and
it was okay and we had childrenwho I'm incredibly grateful for
they're they're my life.
But in time in time there weresome things that became apparent
(34:03):
to me, things that I'm notgoing to choose to talk about
here.
Alethea Felton (34:07):
Of course girl yeah.
Lisa Greenberg (34:09):
Boundaries.
Alethea Felton (34:11):
And it's your life, and always own your story,
and I do encourage you to dothat because this will open up
even more opportunities, butalways know you always have
control.
Thank you, you share about you.
Lisa Greenberg (34:29):
So there were things that made it incredibly
imperative for me to separate.
And then, during that time, itbecame apparent that he was
using drugs, again separate fromthe real reason why I started
to realize I can't stand thismarriage.
And ultimately, long storyshort, I found him.
(34:54):
He was living at his parentsand he was supposed to spend
time with my children thatevening, and we couldn't reach
him.
And I asked my neighbor, my goodfriend, to watch my kids, and I
found out from my father-in-law, who was not in town, if he had
a key to the house that I justfelt something wasn't right.
(35:15):
I saw my husband's car there attheir house and could I get in,
and so I did.
And I opened the door and Ifound my husband laying on the
ground.
He had been murdered and drugparaphernalia all around him.
Alethea Felton (35:31):
Wow, lisa, wow, wow, wow Wow.
Lisa Greenberg (35:36):
And the first thing that I started screaming
was my children.
My children, my poor babies,because I knew that now they
weren't going to have their dad,and so it was.
It was horrible.
I'm going to ship this so thatyou can see me better, Okay.
Alethea Felton (35:53):
Yeah, that's fine.
Lisa Greenberg (35:54):
But so, anyway, and then my mom, who was my
everything, you know.
She helped me as much as shecould.
She helped me as much as shecould.
She was sick, and during thistime it was a really hard time.
Alethea, I had two youngchildren.
There were things that Icouldn't tell them at this point
(36:17):
at all.
They were too young, but yetthere were things they had to
know.
Money was an issue.
Alethea Felton (36:34):
I was scared to death and somehow I made it
through and had my mom for awhile, um until um, she passed
away, um a year later and um, ayear later, and so, yeah, yeah,
and so, even with that, asyou're continuing through your
(36:56):
life, you still had Merle inyour life giving you therapy,
and as time moves on, you end upmeeting someone else that you
described to me as the love ofyour life.
You end up meeting someone elsethat you described to me as the
love of your life and,unfortunately, another tragedy
(37:16):
strikes you, and so thatactually thrust you into a deep
depression, and so this is ashift I want to make is how did
you begin to find your way outof that situation, especially
when medication resistancebecame a factor?
Lisa Greenberg (37:33):
So I was struggling, as you said, with
horrible depression.
And it's interesting, alethea,because for the first two years
after his name was Kenny, forthe first two years after Kenny
died, I actually still kept ittogether and I was still
functioning well.
I think it's because I had alot of community, lots of
(37:56):
pockets of different communities, and I still had children at
home, and so I had to keep ittogether, you know.
And I was still working.
You know, I'm an educator.
So everything was still, until Iwent to Israel one summer on a
women's trip and when I camehome it was like someone took a
light switch and I was moving mydaughter to college.
(38:19):
So there was a big changehappening, but it was like
someone took a light switch andturned it and I was now no
longer okay at all.
I was no longer okay and I wasin full depression.
And yeah, so doctors, mypsychiatrist tried every
(38:40):
different kind of medication ontop of my OCD medication,
combinations of and you know,with those kinds of medications
you have to build up and then,if they're not working, you have
to wean off.
So the time frames it's notlike one day you're fine because
you take something that'sworking.
You know it's all about thislength of time and the process
(39:05):
of that while you're suffering.
Alethea Felton (39:08):
Exactly.
Lisa Greenberg (39:08):
And so the depression was real heavy.
And then the anxiety.
I had never experienced anxietylike that, and so for five
years I I was able to work,although there was a very small
part of the time where I didtake off of work, but my kids
saw me laying on the sofa notwanting to get in the shower.
(39:33):
When my daughter would comehome from school, she would see
it from college.
My friends were tryingeverything they could do to help
me.
Nothing was helping and I wasscared to death.
I was scared to death that thiswas my life forever.
I tried transcranial magneticstimulation, which are magnetic
(39:57):
impulses to your temples everyday after work for months.
No help.
I tried ketamine no help.
I looked into and researchedpsychedelics and you had to get
on long waiting lists or thereweren't any trials being run.
(40:19):
And so I was just so worried,like am I not going to find
anything?
I started to think about andwas reading about brain.
What is it called?
Alethea Felton (40:35):
Electroshock therapy.
Lisa Greenberg (40:38):
I heard, that could be beneficial and yet that
scared me to death.
And then my doctor my regularinternist by my fourth year of
going to her for my well visitsand her seeing me not
functioning, she gave me a phonenumber and said when you leave
here now I want you to callMindy.
(40:59):
She is a trauma therapist.
He knows you're going to call,call her when you leave here.
And I know it's with the helpof Mindy that I'm where I am
today.
Oh, it's beautiful and so yeah.
Alethea Felton (41:18):
Oh, that is beautiful and that is a
testament to it, because so manypeople suffer in silence, many
people suffer in silence and somany people wear what I call our
clown faces, where they'resmiling on the outside and are
so broken emotionally.
And the fact, lisa, that forfive years you went through this
(41:40):
way and so, when you have gonethrough such profound loss and
pain and you had to find a wayto balance grief with gratitude
and continue to just movethrough your life, what would
you say to someone who isseeking to embrace both grief
(42:02):
and find joy in their lives?
Because just because you havejoy doesn't mean that you still
don't have some pain.
So what would you say to aperson who's seeking to find
that embracing of grief and joy?
Lisa Greenberg (42:23):
Well, I'm going to say, though, Alethea, that I
did not have any gratitude orjoy then, Okay, I, and I wasn't
even hiding behind any smile orfacade.
I couldn't like I was.
I felt that I was.
I was dead, but my heart wasstill beating.
Alethea Felton (42:44):
Yeah, because what I was wondering was since
you were still able to work.
I guess what I mean and teachis that maybe they always say
teachers are the biggest actors,and so what I mean is maybe not
that consistent part, maybe notthat consistent part, but when
(43:05):
I make the clown face reference,what I mean and again, correct
me if I'm wrong what I mean iswhen you're in front of your
students teaching, you mighthave to smile occasionally or
put on a happy face, even if youdon't want to.
Lisa Greenberg (43:25):
That's what I meant by that.
So at that point I was a schoolcounselor.
Alethea Felton (43:28):
Interesting.
Lisa Greenberg (43:30):
So I wasn't, that is ironic that here you are
the counselor, I know.
That is amazing.
And so I wasn't necessarilystanding in front of a class all
day.
I did have lessons to teachsometimes, but running small
groups and I was, you know,having one-to-one counseling
with kids.
But I knew I wasn't.
(43:50):
I just wasn't who that's when Idecided I need to take a little
break, and I took a few weeksoff and actually went to a day
program I so.
But the the gratitude, thegratitude came in once I started
to work through some of thishard stuff in therapy with Mindy
(44:15):
and doing the work, the traumawork.
So the gratitude has come.
The gratitude hasn't had notbeen there, I want to say.
And so I feel like what I wantto say to people is this we
can't do this life alone.
(44:36):
At times, especially and whenyou're struggling with whatever
it may be okay A physical,medical health issue, depression
, mental health, whatever it isSometimes we feel like we want
(44:58):
to pull back and isolate.
That's the worst thing we can do, the worst thing we can do.
We need to sometimes rely onothers to hear them tell us
things that maybe we know thatwhat they're saying doesn't make
sense to us and that they maynot have any idea of what we're
going through, but to stilllisten, to still connect, to
(45:23):
still allow them sometimes tocarry us.
There are times where I know Iwas carried, there were times
where I would be in the companyof people and just didn't talk,
I had nothing to say, I was justlike breathing but I was like a
blob.
But to not isolate and tolisten to people, because it was
(45:47):
because my doctor said to me,take this number.
And then I said, okay, you know, take leaps and trust.
And because of that I found myway with someone and I'm doing
the work, and it's the work.
We all have work to do in ourlife.
(46:08):
Life bumps us around a bit andso we have work to do, you know.
And so what I also have learnedthrough my therapy I've learned
so much.
I've learned that what we tellourselves is really significant,
(46:31):
it's the most significant thingthat impacts our lives our own
mindset you know, we're thisbody walking around all day and
our thoughts.
You know, thoughts are justbouncing around and oftentimes,
when we've lived in depressionor any kind of anxiety, we have
(46:56):
negative thoughts.
We have negative thinking, welose hope and we do start to
create habitual thinking andhabitual thinking becomes
comfortable for us and then wefall back on that, and so with
my therapy I've learned thatthat's really key to to get hold
(47:19):
of our thinking and themessages we tell ourselves
that's right yes, and so we tellourselves that's right, yes,
and so that's huge.
And I don't know if peoplerealize many people do realize
some people don't realize howimportant that is to nurture
ourselves, to take care ofourselves in the most loving way
(47:46):
possible.
So, um and so I was going tosay and so the things that I
learned in therapy that I feelare really important for people
to put into their lives, mindycalled scaffolding, which are
(48:10):
positive, healthy daily routinesto keep you afloat, to nurture
yourself, for an everyday life,but also for when life maybe
doesn't go so well, so that ifdepression visits me again.
(48:32):
I now have some scaffoldingthat I rely on each day.
For example, I wake up everymorning and I pray.
I then sit and I write in agratitude journal every morning.
(48:53):
And what's happened with that?
It's not just in that time thatI'm writing, it's what happens
the rest of the day.
Because if I'm writing about andit's not every day that I say
I'm grateful for my children,I'm grateful for my home, it's
certainly there's that, butthere's also I'm so grateful
(49:16):
that I can hear, because I'llhear birds today, I'll hear the
children's voices at school, andthey're just so delicious.
Or I'm so grateful that I canwalk some people can't, you know
.
So the the gratitude isn't justthe material things that you
(49:40):
have in your life, or or thatyou know you're grateful for
your family, which you are, butit goes beyond that too, and so
then what happens is, if you'rehaving a bad day, the sad
thoughts sort of they're likeseven, they go to the bottom and
(50:04):
the gratitude and the things,the blessings that you see in
your life sort of come up to thetop.
So I've experienced that frommy regular practice of writing
in a journal.
Also meditation, dailymeditation, my yoga practice, my
getting outside and being onewith nature, and all of that,
(50:28):
all of that is keeping me inthis good, good headspace.
Alethea Felton (50:34):
I know, without a doubt, without a doubt, yes,
and throughout the interview andpeople who are listening won't
see this, only the people whoview it but you've been
adjusting yourself occasionallybecause of how the sun is, but I
(50:55):
don't think that's by accident,just the shine on you from the
sun's rays.
I think it's very.
I don't believe in coincidencesor anything like that and so my
own personal viewpoint is thatit was intentional for the sun
to glare on you like that, toshow that transition from
(51:18):
darkness into light, because somuch of your life was just spent
just being burdened down.
Had some had good moments, yes,but in terms of the trauma over
the years, so that lightshining on you, lisa, I think,
is so important, and as we cometo our close here, I'm curious
(51:45):
as to what is probably the mostimportant lesson that you've
learned personally from yourjourney thus far.
Lisa Greenberg (51:59):
Okay, I believe that it's you know.
You can let your story and thethings that have happened to you
be your only story, or you canhave them be a foundation to
(52:20):
build upon, to bring out beauty,beauty into the world, to
create good things from thosehard times.
Whatever has happened to us,it's happened for us.
(52:40):
I believe that you know, Itruly do, and I think all of
what happened to me.
If anyone ever would have saidyou'll be grateful for all of
that, all of the losses, all ofit, I would have thought that's
a crazy thought.
But man, oh man, alethea, I amgrateful for all of it.
(53:03):
It's all helped me to becomewho I am today and I like who I
am.
I live and love out loud.
I live, juicy, oh I, I have akind heart, a giving heart, and
I want to show up now in theworld for others, because for so
(53:24):
many years people showed up forme, because for so many years
people showed up for me.
So just not to let what hashappened to you if those are the
negative things that we'rereferring to be the story.
Let that be a starting point ora foundation to build beautiful
(53:47):
new stories from.
Alethea Felton (53:54):
And you certainly have a story to share,
lisa, and I know that this isonly the beginning of hearing
more from you.
There's so much inside of youmore that you need to get the
world out to hear, because whatyou have experienced can
certainly help others.
It's definitely helping me, andI don't even think people have
(54:17):
to come from the same directbackgrounds in terms of our life
experiences to glean somethingfrom this journey.
Glean something from thisjourney.
We are all in this together,and it has been such an honor
having you on the PowerTransformation podcast.
I'm so grateful to know you,lisa, and thank you.
Lisa Greenberg (54:38):
Alethea, thank you so much, so much.
I'm grateful to you.
Alethea Felton (54:42):
Thank you for tuning in to this episode of the
Power Transformation podcast.
If you enjoyed this episode, besure to follow or subscribe,
leave a five-star rating andwrite a review.
It helps us inspire even morelisteners.
And don't keep it to yourself.
Share it with someone who coulduse a little power in their
(55:05):
transformation.
Until next time, keep bouncingback, keep rising and be good to
yourself and to others.
Life may be unpredictable, but we never know
where we will end up if wedon't keep going.
And today's guest chose to moveforward in spite of the
obstacles that were in her way.
And she also chose to cultivate, nourish and enrich her mental
(00:28):
health so that she could be alight and a joy to others, as
she has been now for many years.
And that is why it is my honorto have Lisa Greenberg as our
guest on the PowerTransformation Podcast, who
certainly has a story to tell.
And, with that being said,welcome to the Power
Transformation Podcast, whocertainly has a story to tell.
And, with that being said,welcome to the Power
Transformation Podcast.
(00:50):
I am your host, alethea Felton.
It is my honor to have you herewith me today, and if you're
new to this podcast, welcome.
Go ahead and follow andsubscribe like, leave a
five-star rating and write areview.
It is because of you that thispodcast continues to rank in the
top 5% of shows globally andcontinues to move higher with
(01:12):
each passing day.
I thank you for your support,and we're also on YouTube.
Subscribe to our YouTubechannel.
I am building that channelgradually so you won't see all
episodes from every singleseason, but you are going to be
seeing most up there as Icontinue to build the YouTube
(01:33):
channel along with my assistant,and so, with that being said,
we're gonna dive right into thisinterview.
We're gonna start first withour affirmation.
I'll say the affirmation onceand then you repeat it, and then
we'll jump right into thisinterview with Lisa Greenberg.
I embrace the journey of lifeand trust that everything
(01:55):
happens for a reason.
Lisa, welcome to the PowerTransformation Podcast.
Lisa Greenberg (02:03):
Thank you, alethea.
I'm so happy to be here withyou and I'm so grateful that you
feel that I have something Ican share.
I do believe we all do, and Ithank you so much for giving me
the time.
Alethea Felton (02:19):
Oh, you're so welcome.
Yes, you're so welcome, and youall.
She is so humble and justmodest because she's saying that
I think she has a story.
Listen when you all hear herjourney, when I talk about the
power transformation that peoplemake in their lives.
(02:39):
Lisa hands down, has that downpat, and I hope that one day,
perhaps if she's led to it's nopressure on my part, but if
she's led to, I already told hershe needs to write a memoir of
her life or something, becauseit's incredible.
But I want to start first withjust something lighthearted.
I always like a little funicebreaker question, and so this
(03:02):
is my question for you, lisa,and if you didn't have one, then
I'll modify the question butwho was either your childhood or
adult celebrity crush?
I know it right away.
Lisa Greenberg (03:21):
No question, david Cassidy.
Alethea Felton (03:24):
Oh, I know exactly who that is.
Tell us more.
What was it?
Oh my gosh.
Lisa Greenberg (03:30):
Well, listen, I'm 59.
And I think any woman my age,around my age, would probably
say that he was a heartthrob.
He was adorable, his music waslovely, he was in a show called
the Partridge Family and he wasjust amazing.
(03:52):
You know you have a crush onhim, you know if you're, if
you're a little girl back then.
And the funny thing is, oh mygosh, my walls in my room, from
top to bottom, were DavidCassidy's faces from all the
Tiger Beat magazines and all ofthat.
Now I lived in an apartment andI just remember one particular
(04:16):
day I wanted to hang up somemore pictures of him and I ran
out of tape and I usedtoothpaste out of tape and I
used toothpaste.
Oh my goodness, that ishilarious.
And then also, I went to aconcert and my stepfather was
with me and my mom, and at theend of a concert sometimes I
(04:37):
don't know if they still do this, but performers will throw out
things.
So he threw out his sweat ragand he threw out his water cup
and my stepfather called thewater cup and I saved it forever
.
And then I'll just add oneother little thing.
So then he had a brother namedSean Cassidy, who came out and
(05:00):
became popular later on and Iliked him as well, not as much
as David.
You see, I'm on a first namebasis with David.
Yes, you are, but it's funnybecause I went to a Sean Cassidy
concert I was a little olderand I came home and couldn't go
to school the next day because Iwas so in love with Sean.
(05:23):
I couldn't go to school thenext day, my poor mom.
Love with Sean.
I couldn't go to school thenext day, my poor mom.
So anyway, yeah, that was aneasy question, alisa.
Alethea Felton (05:29):
Oh that's fun.
That is such a fun way to start, and I'm so glad that I asked
that.
I was just curious, justanything.
You never know what I'm goingto ask, but it's going to be fun
and lighthearted.
That's really, really cool.
So, lisa, what I like to do nowis just, in your own words, I'm
going to switch up.
(05:50):
Usually, I'll ask a guest whois so-and-so, but this is what
I'm going to ask you instead.
What do you, lisa Greenberg?
What do you like the most aboutyourself?
You, lisa?
Lisa Greenberg (06:05):
Greenberg, what do you like the most about
yourself?
Okay, I, I love my kind heart.
Oh, I love my kind heart, yes,and I love that I want, I have a
desire every single day to bethe best version of myself that
(06:29):
I can be.
And I tell myself, as long as Icome from love in everything I
do today and I say that each dayas I pray in the morning, then
I know that all will be well.
And so I love that about myselfjust my kind heart, my desire
(06:52):
to really want to be the besthuman I can be, coming from love
, coming from a place of love.
Alethea Felton (07:00):
What a perfect answer, and I can say that I
have been a recipient of thatkind heart, and so that is
absolutely true, and that kindheart to say that from a woman
like you who has experienced somuch in your life.
Some of your experiences couldhave caused you to become
(07:24):
stonehearted and bitter andresentful, but yet that didn't
happen.
So let's, in a sense, go backto some of the origin stories of
you and so growing up.
Well, you spoke about going toconcerts, things of that nature,
but you share with me that youhad young parents and things of
(07:48):
that nature.
So just take us back on ajourney where I'd like you to
just tell us what was your earlyunderstanding of life at a
young age and how did thoseexperiences almost shape the
path or the trajectory of yourentire life story?
Lisa Greenberg (08:11):
Okay, you know, I think as a young child I don't
know if we have anunderstanding then of what is
going on.
I mean, I certainly don't thinkI did then, although as I
(08:33):
became a teenager, what I knewand I'll go back in a minute but
as a teenager I really wasaware that everybody around me
was a mess and had a lot ofmental health issues.
So, going backwards I did.
(08:54):
I had young parents and I thinkback in the day people got
married younger.
My parents had me in theirearly 20s and they divorced by
the time I was two, their earlytwenties, and they divorced by
the time I was two, and so Iwould spend time with my father
on weekends.
Eventually not at first, I knowat first there was a lot of
(09:17):
arguing between my mom and dadand a lot of arguing about child
support.
I vaguely remember those fightsand whatnot.
So I spent most of my time atfirst with my mom.
It was this young I guess shewas, I would say 22, young,
single mom.
(09:37):
But, in time I spent Saturdayswith my dad and I loved him.
My dad was a hippie it was thetime, the 70s and he there were
(10:04):
things that were not okay thathappened while I was with my dad
.
No doubt, hands down, they werenot okay.
For example, my dad smoked pota lot and when we would be
together we would be driving, wewould be in the car, he would
be smoking and I rememberlooking out the window.
As a little girl I knew I guesshe had told me to not tell
(10:24):
anyone.
I somehow I knew that it wasn'tlegal and I didn't want to be
afraid and think that the policewere going to pull us over and
in time he would take me.
I didn't know this at the time,but now I know he was also
dealing drugs and so I would bea little girl going with my
(10:45):
father on drug deals and Iremember I remember us pulling
over on the side of a road and Iremember him getting out of the
car while I waited and a bigguy with a cowboy hat I still
remember up to him and there wasa drug deal.
Or I remember being with my dadand seeing this stuff.
(11:07):
That was like long and it wastie, stick, tie, weed, and I
just remember that.
But it was all like normal tohim.
You know all the drugs, allthat was normal.
Um, so much so that I rememberhim asking me if I wanted to try
it.
He didn't think anything waswrong with that.
I remember I don't know if Iasked him or if he said to me do
(11:32):
you want to learn how to roll ajoint?
It's crazy to think about.
I was probably at that point,nine or 10.
And I knew enough not to gohome to my mom and share it with
her.
And I loved him.
You know we would.
He had young girlfriends.
That wasn't appropriate, andyou know we would be together
(11:53):
and I'd be sitting on the sideof the bed while they were in
bed or, you know, they would goskinny dipping and I would sit
on the side of the the, the pond.
And then there were many daysthat he would call and I'd be
waiting by the door excited tohave him pick me up.
And he'd call and he'd say,lise, I'm sorry I can't come
(12:14):
today.
Now, at the time he would sayhe was sick.
I know now he probably hadpartied too hard or didn't want
to get out of bed with hisgirlfriend, but so I think, as a
little girl, that doessomething to you.
You know being let down and notbeing the priority.
And yet he loved me.
Alethea Felton (12:36):
And let me jump in here too and thank you for
that vulnerability andtransparency.
But one of the things you saidwhen you first started talking
about him was you loved your dad, and it's so amazing to me how,
in spite of his flaws andchallenges that he had, at the
(13:03):
end of the day he was daddy.
You knew that he loved you andyou loved him.
And so how do you reconcilethat at that age?
Or is it something that youthought about older?
That here my father was puttingme in potentially risky
(13:25):
situations, yet I love him somuch.
Is it more of a he only didwhat he thought was best or he
was doing the best he could?
How do you reconcile thatwithin yourself?
Lisa Greenberg (13:42):
So are you asking how I reconcile that now?
Or even yeah, yes, because as achild as a child.
Alethea Felton (13:50):
No, we aren't thinking about that as kids.
Lisa Greenberg (13:53):
But look, I'm clear, I'm pretty clear.
I know that his own parents didnot have their acts together.
His father, my grandfather,pulled a gun.
I learned that my grandfather,his father, was a pimp.
He owned a bar.
(14:16):
He was in just a whole not avery positive atmosphere his
whole life as a little boy, youknow, with his father being that
, and so I know that my gosh, mydad didn't have good role
models, healthy role models.
(14:37):
He saw that and so I know,without a shadow of a doubt, he
did the best.
He knew how he loved his littlegirl and he told me as, when I
was getting ready to go tocollege, he said Lisa, I don't
(15:01):
just love you, I like the personyou are.
And you know, I know peoplemight hear my story and think
how awful, what a terrible.
I don't think that way.
He was my dad.
No, he never read me stories.
No, I don't remember him, youknow, helping me with homework.
(15:23):
We never had any of thatremember him you know, helping
me with homework.
We never had any of that.
Alethea Felton (15:29):
any of that, I mean years later, and I don't
know if you want me to sharethat now or later.
Yeah.
So, yeah, I'll get to that part, but but no, thank you for
saying that, because justbecause he had this aspect of
his life and again, I'm notcondoning what he did, but it
doesn't make him a bad person,and I think that's what's
(15:51):
important to know is that we allhave our challenges, we all
have our struggles.
We all have something that wehave that may not be ideal to
the next person, whether we talkabout it or not.
It might not even be in ourpresent life, but something in
our life that we've done orcould still be doing.
(16:14):
The fact remains is that itdoesn't necessarily have a
reflection on a person'scharacter, and so I do
understand that your father didthe best he could to keep you
safe.
You knew that he loved you.
He still spent quality timewith you, even if it wasn't
going to the zoo or to the park,he still had you with him, and
(16:37):
I think that's very important.
And when you became a teenager,you actually moved in with your
father.
So tell me about moving in withyour father and then also talk
to us about when your father didultimately pass away.
(17:00):
And how did that crossing thethreshold moment affect you
emotionally and shape the waythat you dealt with adversity at
such a young?
Lisa Greenberg (17:13):
age a child.
My brother and I lived with mystepfather and my mom and my
brother for many years, like Isaid, seeing my dad on weekends.
My mom and my stepdad startedto talk about divorce and it
(17:38):
became very.
It wasn't good in the house.
It was.
I had to get out.
I knew that I couldn't staythere.
There were things happeningthat were were really difficult,
and so I moved in with my dadfor the first time at 16 years
old, which meant that I was alsogoing to be going to a new
(18:01):
school because I was going intoa different County.
I didn't know what I was movinginto.
I didn't know, and my fatherhad remarried as well and I
didn't know that now I wasmoving into a crack house and
(18:21):
what that looked like was Iwould go to sleep at night
before school and there would bemy dad and his wife and other
women and men in the living roomfreebasing smoking cocaine and
I would see that and go to bed.
(18:42):
I'd wake up for school.
They'd still be there with bigeyes.
You know the result of smokingcocaine all night.
I'd go to school, didn't knowanyone.
New school, trying to find myway, and I lived there for a
while and I even remember thisbrown wooden canister in the
(19:05):
kitchen and it was filled withquaaludes and not sugar.
Oh, the turning point was Icame home one day from school.
Alethea Felton (19:16):
Lisa, I'm sorry, just in case a listener or
viewer doesn't know.
I know, but can you explainwhat that is.
Doesn't know, I know, but canyou explain?
Lisa Greenberg (19:27):
what that is.
Quaaludes.
From what I understand and Idon't know if people still use
them today or not but backduring those years now at this
point it was the 80s.
Yeah, it was right around 1980.
I just remember there wassomething called Qualudes and
(19:48):
people would take them and Ibelieve it would make them very
promiscuous and I don't know.
Alethea Felton (19:54):
It's a type of narcotic.
Yeah, it's a type of narcotic.
Lisa Greenberg (19:59):
Okay, thank you so on this one particular day I
came home and my stepmom was inthe dining room and on the
dining room floor we had acarpet or a rug that was like
furry, really furry, funky furry.
Alethea Felton (20:21):
Shag type of rug .
Lisa Greenberg (20:22):
Yes, popular, yeah, more furry than shag yes,
yes, exactly.
Alethea Felton (20:25):
shag type of rugs popular.
Yeah, been more furry than shag.
Yes, yes, exactly.
Lisa Greenberg (20:27):
you can get there, but you can't and she was
standing there with a cigarettelike moving and you could.
She was really stoned and thecigarette dropped and I'm
standing there with her.
Just walked in my backpacks onmy back and she had no idea that
it dropped.
Alethea Felton (20:45):
Oh.
Lisa Greenberg (20:46):
And of course I picked it up.
I knew in that moment Icouldn't stay there anymore.
I knew that if I hadn't beenthere would the house have gone
up in flames.
So at that point I moved up,navigating my way and getting to
(21:08):
college, despite the fact.
Despite the fact that I didn'teven know what an SAT test was,
because one weekend my bestfriend, who I'd made now in in
high school, said that she wastaking the SATs that weekend and
I said what is that?
So I caught up pretty quicklyand found out and, you know,
(21:36):
took them and got into collegeand all the while I still had a
relationship with my mom and shewas again single.
And I remember thinking now letme just back up and say that
everywhere I looked at thatpoint in my life, everyone was I
(21:57):
don't know what word to usemessed up mental health issues.
And what do I mean?
Well, my father's my father youknew what was going on with him
my father's brother, my uncleFreddie, had schizophrenia and I
(22:17):
would, you know, be in hispresence sometimes and see what
that was, and that was hard towatch.
My mother was, you know, asingle mom.
Again.
She had some of her own anxiety.
She loved me.
She was very dear to me.
I adore my mom but she you knowshe was also, I think at the
time wanting to start datingagain was raising my brother
(22:42):
around.
You know he's nine yearsyounger than I am, so he was
still younger.
Um my mom's two siblings hersister was schizophrenic and her
brother, my uncle, had a lot ofissues depression, body
dysmorphic disorder, he was onmethadone maintenance and so
(23:04):
whenever I would visit mygrandmother, my mom's mom and
their mom, their mom I would bearound some of that mental
health stuff.
I would see my Aunt Carolcoming and and talking about
bizarre stuff.
I would hear my uncle goingthrough all of his rants and
raves and body dysmorphic.
(23:25):
He would see things on his handthat you didn't see.
It's just the mental health.
And then my grandfather.
I know now my grandfather hadOCD, there's no question.
I didn't know at the time, Ijust thought he was really odd.
But he would go in and out,check his car in and out, in and
out, in and out.
But he would go in and out,check his car in and out, in and
(23:47):
out, in and out.
I know now what it is because Ihave OCD, but my point being
there, was not one reallytogether person in my life, and
so going to college I finallyfelt like, ah, now I get to have
(24:07):
maybe some normalcy.
Alethea Felton (24:10):
Interesting.
Ooh, that is so profound, lisa,that that, wow, it's almost as
if, although you love yourfamily, it's almost a relief off
of your shoulders, in a sense.
That a call, if I'm notmistaken, and just tell me if
(24:52):
I'm right chronologically, butyou end up getting a call about
your father, correct?
Lisa Greenberg (24:58):
Well, I actually Did that come later.
Alethea Felton (25:00):
Yeah, it came later, okay, so let me jump here
.
Let's go to your twenties, okay, and your twenties is when you
got married, correct?
If I'm not, my father diedbefore that, prior that, yes, so
that's where I'm getting to.
You had some major close umcircumstances happen to you, and
(25:25):
I want to shift now into yourfinding your way in college, and
then you end up getting married.
(25:48):
You well, as you're married.
My point is that you end upultimately, as you stated, being
diagnosed with OCD, and let'stalk about that is talk about
those challenges that couldreally be seen as ordeals on
your life journey.
(26:08):
How did you confront suchtrauma, dealing with your father
and then something also withyour husband that you'll share,
and how, in the world, lisa, didyou keep going?
Lisa Greenberg (26:25):
hmm, alicia yeah I mean, I don't know.
Sometimes I don't know if Ihave an exact answer about how I
kept going.
Alethea Felton (26:33):
I don't know, that's okay, that okay to say,
girl, yes, that's okay and and Ilike that authenticity because
people are, people are goingthrough real stuff every day and
that's why I like to bringpeople on this show who are
(26:54):
going to be real In this era andday and time.
2024, 2025, we're doing this in2024, but it might not air
until early 2025.
2024, but it might not airuntil early 2025.
My point is, we see so manypeople now on these social
platforms and media, and I'm notsaying people have to tell
(27:15):
everything about their life, butthen again I'm like why not?
We hide the challenges, we hidethe scars.
We try as a society, we as asociety.
There is this emphasis on beingperfect and, at the end of the
day, people need real people whohave gone through raw things
(27:39):
and could still be going throughthose challenges, yet put one
foot in front of the other.
So let me rephrase the questionand just to share, to speed it
up, some on my part.
Your father passes, you'rediagnosed with OCD, you get
(28:01):
married, something happens toyour husband, share with us what
happened to your husband andthen that journey from there.
How in the world did you handlethe deaths of both your father
and husband in such tragic ways?
Lisa Greenberg (28:19):
Okay, I'm going to tell you that, but I am going
to say one thing yeah, go ahead.
While I know that I don't knowthat I have an answer to your
other question, I do want to addone important thing.
I had a therapist from the ageof 16 into my 40s.
(28:40):
Her name was Merle and I dobelieve and know that she played
a very huge part, and I do wantto add that my father did get a
big part of his life together.
He did come to me and say Idon't want to deal drugs anymore
(29:02):
.
Alethea Felton (29:02):
My friends are getting locked up, I'm afraid,
and he did stop, and so when hedied, which was a car accident,
he had gotten a good bit of hislife together oh, thank you for
sharing that, lisa, because Iknow offline, when we had our
pre pre-screening, I did notknow that, and so I'm so happy
(29:24):
to hear it because with all ofmy guests, just so that the
audience knows, ok, I likeconversation, and so with my
guests, when I prescreen them,it's more of getting a little
bit of their story but not themsharing it all, because I want
to be authentic and listeningand really having the excitement
(29:46):
, just like you all, and so I amso glad to hear that he had his
own transformation.
Lisa Greenberg (29:54):
Yes, yes, and so I wanted that said because,
thank you, that's important andthat's what also made listen,
death is never, never, ever,something that we feel good
about ever.
But what made it even morebittersweet for me was that he
(30:14):
had made some shifts and he hadbought taxi cabs and became
incorporated and ran a littletaxi cab business and I remember
him saying to me Lisa, this isso hard.
I would be dealing drugs, hewould say, and make major money
within a second.
Now I'm doing what's legal andI'm hardly making anything and
(30:38):
I'm working many more hours.
So I remember we had real talkslike that so anyway yeah,
that's beautiful to hear.
Alethea Felton (30:48):
That's wonderful .
Thank you for that.
Lisa Greenberg (30:52):
And so it was after he died that, all of a
sudden, I started to have thosesymptoms, which I didn't know
what it was, and I learned laterit was OCD.
And that was a very, verydifficult part of my life and it
took years, years with a doctorto find the right medication,
(31:15):
and I don't know how I gotthrough that time.
Alethea Felton (31:19):
To be honest, Do doctors know if it was
something that triggered it?
Or you mentioned one of yourgrandfathers, right so, I think
right so.
Is it a genetic link perhaps,right so?
Lisa Greenberg (31:33):
mental health issues are genetic and so you
know, and I knew, my mom hadanxiety.
So without a doubt I come by itvery honestly.
But my psychiatrist at the timedid say that oftentimes when
we're predisposed for mentalhealth issues like this and
something happens that is, youknow, just abrupt, like learning
(31:58):
about my father's death I wasawoken in the middle of the
night, learned that he waskilled in an accident, and so my
doctor said that probablybrought it on sooner.
So, yeah, I it was a.
That was a real journey.
I mean, thank God there'smedication, so.
But so your real question wasso my husband, in terms of your
(32:21):
husband you get married and thensomething happens to your
husband.
Alethea Felton (32:27):
So how did you handle that chapter of your life
?
Lisa Greenberg (32:31):
Right.
So we got married.
I knew that he had used somedrugs in college, but he wasn't
anymore.
At least I thought I learnedthat he had been using drugs.
He lied to me.
I found out, I followed him,saw him go into a dealer's house
(32:53):
, let him know that if he didn'tget help that this marriage was
going to be over.
Because I had already struggledwith my dad's life experience
losing him, dealing with my ownOCD for five years, the struggle
, and now I was like able tobreathe, and now this.
(33:14):
So I said no, I'm not having alife like this.
And so he did go away.
He had treatment and he cameback and life seemed to be okay.
I mean, he was not without hisown struggles and issues and
family dynamics there and healso had OCD, which was crazy
and his sort of surfaceddifferently than mine and he
(33:38):
didn't attack his and focus onhis and the way that I was.
But you know, life was okay.
I mean it was never super easy,but he wasn't using drugs and
it was okay and we had childrenwho I'm incredibly grateful for
they're they're my life.
But in time in time there weresome things that became apparent
(34:03):
to me, things that I'm notgoing to choose to talk about
here.
Alethea Felton (34:07):
Of course girl yeah.
Lisa Greenberg (34:09):
Boundaries.
Alethea Felton (34:11):
And it's your life, and always own your story,
and I do encourage you to dothat because this will open up
even more opportunities, butalways know you always have
control.
Thank you, you share about you.
Lisa Greenberg (34:29):
So there were things that made it incredibly
imperative for me to separate.
And then, during that time, itbecame apparent that he was
using drugs, again separate fromthe real reason why I started
to realize I can't stand thismarriage.
And ultimately, long storyshort, I found him.
(34:54):
He was living at his parentsand he was supposed to spend
time with my children thatevening, and we couldn't reach
him.
And I asked my neighbor, my goodfriend, to watch my kids, and I
found out from my father-in-law, who was not in town, if he had
a key to the house that I justfelt something wasn't right.
(35:15):
I saw my husband's car there attheir house and could I get in,
and so I did.
And I opened the door and Ifound my husband laying on the
ground.
He had been murdered and drugparaphernalia all around him.
Alethea Felton (35:31):
Wow, lisa, wow, wow, wow Wow.
Lisa Greenberg (35:36):
And the first thing that I started screaming
was my children.
My children, my poor babies,because I knew that now they
weren't going to have their dad,and so it was.
It was horrible.
I'm going to ship this so thatyou can see me better, Okay.
Alethea Felton (35:53):
Yeah, that's fine.
Lisa Greenberg (35:54):
But so, anyway, and then my mom, who was my
everything, you know.
She helped me as much as shecould.
She helped me as much as shecould.
She was sick, and during thistime it was a really hard time.
Alethea, I had two youngchildren.
There were things that Icouldn't tell them at this point
(36:17):
at all.
They were too young, but yetthere were things they had to
know.
Money was an issue.
Alethea Felton (36:34):
I was scared to death and somehow I made it
through and had my mom for awhile, um until um, she passed
away, um a year later and um, ayear later, and so, yeah, yeah,
and so, even with that, asyou're continuing through your
(36:56):
life, you still had Merle inyour life giving you therapy,
and as time moves on, you end upmeeting someone else that you
described to me as the love ofyour life.
You end up meeting someone elsethat you described to me as the
love of your life and,unfortunately, another tragedy
(37:16):
strikes you, and so thatactually thrust you into a deep
depression, and so this is ashift I want to make is how did
you begin to find your way outof that situation, especially
when medication resistancebecame a factor?
Lisa Greenberg (37:33):
So I was struggling, as you said, with
horrible depression.
And it's interesting, alethea,because for the first two years
after his name was Kenny, forthe first two years after Kenny
died, I actually still kept ittogether and I was still
functioning well.
I think it's because I had alot of community, lots of
(37:56):
pockets of different communities, and I still had children at
home, and so I had to keep ittogether, you know.
And I was still working.
You know, I'm an educator.
So everything was still, until Iwent to Israel one summer on a
women's trip and when I camehome it was like someone took a
light switch and I was moving mydaughter to college.
(38:19):
So there was a big changehappening, but it was like
someone took a light switch andturned it and I was now no
longer okay at all.
I was no longer okay and I wasin full depression.
And yeah, so doctors, mypsychiatrist tried every
(38:40):
different kind of medication ontop of my OCD medication,
combinations of and you know,with those kinds of medications
you have to build up and then,if they're not working, you have
to wean off.
So the time frames it's notlike one day you're fine because
you take something that'sworking.
You know it's all about thislength of time and the process
(39:05):
of that while you're suffering.
Alethea Felton (39:08):
Exactly.
Lisa Greenberg (39:08):
And so the depression was real heavy.
And then the anxiety.
I had never experienced anxietylike that, and so for five
years I I was able to work,although there was a very small
part of the time where I didtake off of work, but my kids
saw me laying on the sofa notwanting to get in the shower.
(39:33):
When my daughter would comehome from school, she would see
it from college.
My friends were tryingeverything they could do to help
me.
Nothing was helping and I wasscared to death.
I was scared to death that thiswas my life forever.
I tried transcranial magneticstimulation, which are magnetic
(39:57):
impulses to your temples everyday after work for months.
No help.
I tried ketamine no help.
I looked into and researchedpsychedelics and you had to get
on long waiting lists or thereweren't any trials being run.
(40:19):
And so I was just so worried,like am I not going to find
anything?
I started to think about andwas reading about brain.
What is it called?
Alethea Felton (40:35):
Electroshock therapy.
Lisa Greenberg (40:38):
I heard, that could be beneficial and yet that
scared me to death.
And then my doctor my regularinternist by my fourth year of
going to her for my well visitsand her seeing me not
functioning, she gave me a phonenumber and said when you leave
here now I want you to callMindy.
(40:59):
She is a trauma therapist.
He knows you're going to call,call her when you leave here.
And I know it's with the helpof Mindy that I'm where I am
today.
Oh, it's beautiful and so yeah.
Alethea Felton (41:18):
Oh, that is beautiful and that is a
testament to it, because so manypeople suffer in silence, many
people suffer in silence and somany people wear what I call our
clown faces, where they'resmiling on the outside and are
so broken emotionally.
And the fact, lisa, that forfive years you went through this
(41:40):
way and so, when you have gonethrough such profound loss and
pain and you had to find a wayto balance grief with gratitude
and continue to just movethrough your life, what would
you say to someone who isseeking to embrace both grief
(42:02):
and find joy in their lives?
Because just because you havejoy doesn't mean that you still
don't have some pain.
So what would you say to aperson who's seeking to find
that embracing of grief and joy?
Lisa Greenberg (42:23):
Well, I'm going to say, though, Alethea, that I
did not have any gratitude orjoy then, Okay, I, and I wasn't
even hiding behind any smile orfacade.
I couldn't like I was.
I felt that I was.
I was dead, but my heart wasstill beating.
Alethea Felton (42:44):
Yeah, because what I was wondering was since
you were still able to work.
I guess what I mean and teachis that maybe they always say
teachers are the biggest actors,and so what I mean is maybe not
that consistent part, maybe notthat consistent part, but when
(43:05):
I make the clown face reference,what I mean and again, correct
me if I'm wrong what I mean iswhen you're in front of your
students teaching, you mighthave to smile occasionally or
put on a happy face, even if youdon't want to.
Lisa Greenberg (43:25):
That's what I meant by that.
So at that point I was a schoolcounselor.
Alethea Felton (43:28):
Interesting.
Lisa Greenberg (43:30):
So I wasn't, that is ironic that here you are
the counselor, I know.
That is amazing.
And so I wasn't necessarilystanding in front of a class all
day.
I did have lessons to teachsometimes, but running small
groups and I was, you know,having one-to-one counseling
with kids.
But I knew I wasn't.
(43:50):
I just wasn't who that's when Idecided I need to take a little
break, and I took a few weeksoff and actually went to a day
program I so.
But the the gratitude, thegratitude came in once I started
to work through some of thishard stuff in therapy with Mindy
(44:15):
and doing the work, the traumawork.
So the gratitude has come.
The gratitude hasn't had notbeen there, I want to say.
And so I feel like what I wantto say to people is this we
can't do this life alone.
(44:36):
At times, especially and whenyou're struggling with whatever
it may be okay A physical,medical health issue, depression
, mental health, whatever it isSometimes we feel like we want
(44:58):
to pull back and isolate.
That's the worst thing we can do, the worst thing we can do.
We need to sometimes rely onothers to hear them tell us
things that maybe we know thatwhat they're saying doesn't make
sense to us and that they maynot have any idea of what we're
going through, but to stilllisten, to still connect, to
(45:23):
still allow them sometimes tocarry us.
There are times where I know Iwas carried, there were times
where I would be in the companyof people and just didn't talk,
I had nothing to say, I was justlike breathing but I was like a
blob.
But to not isolate and tolisten to people, because it was
(45:47):
because my doctor said to me,take this number.
And then I said, okay, you know, take leaps and trust.
And because of that I found myway with someone and I'm doing
the work, and it's the work.
We all have work to do in ourlife.
(46:08):
Life bumps us around a bit andso we have work to do, you know.
And so what I also have learnedthrough my therapy I've learned
so much.
I've learned that what we tellourselves is really significant,
(46:31):
it's the most significant thingthat impacts our lives our own
mindset you know, we're thisbody walking around all day and
our thoughts.
You know, thoughts are justbouncing around and oftentimes,
when we've lived in depressionor any kind of anxiety, we have
(46:56):
negative thoughts.
We have negative thinking, welose hope and we do start to
create habitual thinking andhabitual thinking becomes
comfortable for us and then wefall back on that, and so with
my therapy I've learned thatthat's really key to to get hold
(47:19):
of our thinking and themessages we tell ourselves
that's right yes, and so we tellourselves that's right, yes,
and so that's huge.
And I don't know if peoplerealize many people do realize
some people don't realize howimportant that is to nurture
ourselves, to take care ofourselves in the most loving way
(47:46):
possible.
So, um and so I was going tosay and so the things that I
learned in therapy that I feelare really important for people
to put into their lives, mindycalled scaffolding, which are
(48:10):
positive, healthy daily routinesto keep you afloat, to nurture
yourself, for an everyday life,but also for when life maybe
doesn't go so well, so that ifdepression visits me again.
(48:32):
I now have some scaffoldingthat I rely on each day.
For example, I wake up everymorning and I pray.
I then sit and I write in agratitude journal every morning.
(48:53):
And what's happened with that?
It's not just in that time thatI'm writing, it's what happens
the rest of the day.
Because if I'm writing about andit's not every day that I say
I'm grateful for my children,I'm grateful for my home, it's
certainly there's that, butthere's also I'm so grateful
(49:16):
that I can hear, because I'llhear birds today, I'll hear the
children's voices at school, andthey're just so delicious.
Or I'm so grateful that I canwalk some people can't, you know
.
So the the gratitude isn't justthe material things that you
(49:40):
have in your life, or or thatyou know you're grateful for
your family, which you are, butit goes beyond that too, and so
then what happens is, if you'rehaving a bad day, the sad
thoughts sort of they're likeseven, they go to the bottom and
(50:04):
the gratitude and the things,the blessings that you see in
your life sort of come up to thetop.
So I've experienced that frommy regular practice of writing
in a journal.
Also meditation, dailymeditation, my yoga practice, my
getting outside and being onewith nature, and all of that,
(50:28):
all of that is keeping me inthis good, good headspace.
Alethea Felton (50:34):
I know, without a doubt, without a doubt, yes,
and throughout the interview andpeople who are listening won't
see this, only the people whoview it but you've been
adjusting yourself occasionallybecause of how the sun is, but I
(50:55):
don't think that's by accident,just the shine on you from the
sun's rays.
I think it's very.
I don't believe in coincidencesor anything like that and so my
own personal viewpoint is thatit was intentional for the sun
to glare on you like that, toshow that transition from
(51:18):
darkness into light, because somuch of your life was just spent
just being burdened down.
Had some had good moments, yes,but in terms of the trauma over
the years, so that lightshining on you, lisa, I think,
is so important, and as we cometo our close here, I'm curious
(51:45):
as to what is probably the mostimportant lesson that you've
learned personally from yourjourney thus far.
Lisa Greenberg (51:59):
Okay, I believe that it's you know.
You can let your story and thethings that have happened to you
be your only story, or you canhave them be a foundation to
(52:20):
build upon, to bring out beauty,beauty into the world, to
create good things from thosehard times.
Whatever has happened to us,it's happened for us.
(52:40):
I believe that you know, Itruly do, and I think all of
what happened to me.
If anyone ever would have saidyou'll be grateful for all of
that, all of the losses, all ofit, I would have thought that's
a crazy thought.
But man, oh man, alethea, I amgrateful for all of it.
(53:03):
It's all helped me to becomewho I am today and I like who I
am.
I live and love out loud.
I live, juicy, oh I, I have akind heart, a giving heart, and
I want to show up now in theworld for others, because for so
(53:24):
many years people showed up forme, because for so many years
people showed up for me.
So just not to let what hashappened to you if those are the
negative things that we'rereferring to be the story.
Let that be a starting point ora foundation to build beautiful
(53:47):
new stories from.
Alethea Felton (53:54):
And you certainly have a story to share,
lisa, and I know that this isonly the beginning of hearing
more from you.
There's so much inside of youmore that you need to get the
world out to hear, because whatyou have experienced can
certainly help others.
It's definitely helping me, andI don't even think people have
(54:17):
to come from the same directbackgrounds in terms of our life
experiences to glean somethingfrom this journey.
Glean something from thisjourney.
We are all in this together,and it has been such an honor
having you on the PowerTransformation podcast.
I'm so grateful to know you,lisa, and thank you.
Lisa Greenberg (54:38):
Alethea, thank you so much, so much.
I'm grateful to you.
Alethea Felton (54:42):
Thank you for tuning in to this episode of the
Power Transformation podcast.
If you enjoyed this episode, besure to follow or subscribe,
leave a five-star rating andwrite a review.
It helps us inspire even morelisteners.
And don't keep it to yourself.
Share it with someone who coulduse a little power in their
(55:05):
transformation.
Until next time, keep bouncingback, keep rising and be good to
yourself and to others.
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