When the internet comes for you, your instinct is to fight back or disappear. Neither helps. In this episode, Molly breaks down her simple, proven 90-second rule for handling online hate without losing your cool or your credibility.
You’ll learn:
- Why outrage online is a revolving door (and why it’s never really about you).
- How to recognize when your brain has flipped into fight-or-flight mode—and what to do about it.
- The golden rule of when not to apologize (and where to respond instead).
- How to move from panic to power in less time than it takes to make a cup of coffee.
If you’ve ever dealt with critics, trolls, or just plain mean people online, this one’s for you.
Bonus: Want to learn how to respond to any crisis with confidence?
Join Molly’s free live training: The First Hour: How to Respond to Any Crisis Before It Spirals
You’ll discover:
- The 3 critical steps every communicator must take in the first hour of a crisis.
- The biggest mistakes that tank trust (and how to avoid them).
- How to draft a holding statement in minutes instead of hours.
Spots are limited—grab yours now HERE.
Want More Behind the Breakdown?
Follow The PR Breakdown with Molly McPherson on Substack for early access to podcast episodes, private member chats, weekly live sessions, and monthly workshops that go deeper than the mic. It is the inside hub for communicators who want real strategy, clear judgment, and a little side-eye where it counts.
Follow Molly on Substack
Subscribe to Molly's Weekly Newsletter
Subscribe to Molly's Live Events Calendar.
Need a Keynote Speaker? Drawing from real-world PR battles, Molly delivers the same engaging stories and hard-won crisis insights from the podcast to your live audience. Click here to book Molly for your next meeting.
Follow & Connect with Molly:
Episode Transcript
I want to start this episode with a quick
invitation.
I'm hosting a free webinarcalled The First Hour: How to
Respond to Any Crisis Before ItSpirals.
Because here's the truth.
When a crisis breaks, the clockstarts ticking.
And what you do in those first60 minutes will either calm the
storm or pour gas on it.
In this session, I will walkyou through a proven framework
(00:22):
for managing that critical firsthour.
You'll learn the three stepsevery communicator must take
immediately.
The biggest mistakes peoplemake that tank trust and how to
draft a holding statement inminutes instead of hours.
And finally, why speed andclarity matter more than being
perfect.
These are the strategies andtactics I use with my clients.
(00:45):
I am holding two sessions onOctober 22nd at 12 p.m.
and 3 p.m.
Eastern, and a third session onOctober 23rd at 1 p.m.
Eastern.
Spots are limited, so grabyours now.
I'll drop the link in the shownotes.
All right, now let's get totoday's episode.
Today I want to give you my90-second rule for handling
(01:08):
haters online.
The people who come at you pileon and try to hijack your peace
of mind.
I know.
90 seconds.
This is going to be a quickie.
Ready?
The rule is simple.
Imagine you're a brand online,or maybe you own a business
online, and all of a sudden thehaters are coming for you.
(01:29):
Caveat.
This is if you didn't doanything wrong.
Sometimes people say things orreduce things, or there's
something in our businesspractice that we could have done
differently.
In that case, you need to do awhole different set of rules.
This 90-second rule is just forhandling the haters, just the
people who come at you when it'snot warranted.
(01:50):
All right?
Ready?
Set your watch.
Here we go.
Step one, remember you're notthe first and you won't be the
last.
Online outrage is a revolvingdoor.
People come for you and thenthey'll move on to the next
target.
Don't take it personally.
It's a cycle.
Step two, know your real enemy.
It's not the person leavingcomments, it's the algorithm.
(02:13):
The algorithm thrives onoutrage.
It wants you rattled,defensive, and reactive.
Your job is to outsmart it.
Don't feed it.
Step three, reclaim your brain.
When haters attack you when youread all the comments, your
amygdala in your brain fires up.
That's your fight or flightresponse.
(02:33):
And it clouds your judgment.
The fix, pause, breathe, callsomeone you trust, give your
rational mind a chance to catchup before you hit post or make
that next decision, which couldbe a bad decision.
And here's my golden rule: don't post an apology video on (02:49):
undefined
the same platform where you'rebeing attacked.
Many times you don't need toapologize.
That's like throwing blood intoshark-infested waters.
If you truly need to clarify,do it somewhere else, your
podcast, Facebook, or even alive interview.
And if you really haven't doneanything wrong at all and it's
(03:11):
just a coordinated smear, ignoreit, but keep an eye on it.
You can respond indirectly, onyour own terms, and in your own
space.
There it is, 90 seconds.
That's all it takes to shiftfrom panic to power.
Forget the haters, outsmart thealgorithm, and keep moving
forward.
(03:32):
That's all for this week on thepodcast.
Thanks so much for listening.
Ignore them.
Bye for now.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Burden
The Burden is a documentary series that takes listeners into the hidden places where justice is done (and undone). It dives deep into the lives of heroes and villains. And it focuses a spotlight on those who triumph even when the odds are against them. Season 5 - The Burden: Death & Deceit in Alliance On April Fools Day 1999, 26-year-old Yvonne Layne was found murdered in her Alliance, Ohio home. David Thorne, her ex-boyfriend and father of one of her children, was instantly a suspect. Another young man admitted to the murder, and David breathed a sigh of relief, until the confessed murderer fingered David; “He paid me to do it.” David was sentenced to life without parole. Two decades later, Pulitzer winner and podcast host, Maggie Freleng (Bone Valley Season 3: Graves County, Wrongful Conviction, Suave) launched a “live” investigation into David's conviction alongside Jason Baldwin (himself wrongfully convicted as a member of the West Memphis Three). Maggie had come to believe that the entire investigation of David was botched by the tiny local police department, or worse, covered up the real killer. Was Maggie correct? Was David’s claim of innocence credible? In Death and Deceit in Alliance, Maggie recounts the case that launched her career, and ultimately, “broke” her.” The results will shock the listener and reduce Maggie to tears and self-doubt. This is not your typical wrongful conviction story. In fact, it turns the genre on its head. It asks the question: What if our champions are foolish? Season 4 - The Burden: Get the Money and Run “Trying to murder my father, this was the thing that put me on the path.” That’s Joe Loya and that path was bank robbery. Bank, bank, bank, bank, bank. In season 4 of The Burden: Get the Money and Run, we hear from Joe who was once the most prolific bank robber in Southern California, and beyond. He used disguises, body doubles, proxies. He leaped over counters, grabbed the money and ran. Even as the FBI was closing in. It was a showdown between a daring bank robber, and a patient FBI agent. Joe was no ordinary bank robber. He was bright, articulate, charismatic, and driven by a dark rage that he summoned up at will. In seven episodes, Joe tells all: the what, the how… and the why. Including why he tried to murder his father. Season 3 - The Burden: Avenger Miriam Lewin is one of Argentina’s leading journalists today. At 19 years old, she was kidnapped off the streets of Buenos Aires for her political activism and thrown into a concentration camp. Thousands of her fellow inmates were executed, tossed alive from a cargo plane into the ocean. Miriam, along with a handful of others, will survive the camp. Then as a journalist, she will wage a decades long campaign to bring her tormentors to justice. Avenger is about one woman’s triumphant battle against unbelievable odds to survive torture, claim justice for the crimes done against her and others like her, and change the future of her country. Season 2 - The Burden: Empire on Blood Empire on Blood is set in the Bronx, NY, in the early 90s, when two young drug dealers ruled an intersection known as “The Corner on Blood.” The boss, Calvin Buari, lived large. He and a protege swore they would build an empire on blood. Then the relationship frayed and the protege accused Calvin of a double homicide which he claimed he didn’t do. But did he? Award-winning journalist Steve Fishman spent seven years to answer that question. This is the story of one man’s last chance to overturn his life sentence. He may prevail, but someone’s gotta pay. The Burden: Empire on Blood is the director’s cut of the true crime classic which reached #1 on the charts when it was first released half a dozen years ago. Season 1 - The Burden In the 1990s, Detective Louis N. Scarcella was legendary. In a city overrun by violent crime, he cracked the toughest cases and put away the worst criminals. “The Hulk” was his nickname. Then the story changed. Scarcella ran into a group of convicted murderers who all say they are innocent. They turned themselves into jailhouse-lawyers and in prison founded a lway firm. When they realized Scarcella helped put many of them away, they set their sights on taking him down. And with the help of a NY Times reporter they have a chance. For years, Scarcella insisted he did nothing wrong. But that’s all he’d say. Until we tracked Scarcella to a sauna in a Russian bathhouse, where he started to talk..and talk and talk. “The guilty have gone free,” he whispered. And then agreed to take us into the belly of the beast. Welcome to The Burden.