Healing Ourselves, Healing Our Communities with Salenna Green | Ep. 86 - The Prolific Hub Podcast

Episode Transcript
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Aliya Cheyanne (00:00):
Hi everyone, welcome back to the show.
I'm your host, aaliyah Cheyenne, and I'm so excited today to
have Selena Green on the show.
Hi, selena, welcome to the show.

Salenna Green (00:11):
Thank you for having me, yes.

I'm super excited.
So Selena and I are doing anepisode swap.
Selena is the host of the HotGirls Healing podcast and I'm so
excited to have her on thisshow and I'm excited to have
been a guest on her show.
So we're here now and we'redoing it.
So before we jump in, I justwant to give the audience a
little tidbit about how weconnected.

(00:36):
So Selena and I host our podcaston the same platform and we
actually connected in like anonline community group that the
platform has and agreed that wewere a really cool fit for each
other for our shows and it'sreally nice, especially in the
podcasting space, to makeconnections that way, whether it
be through conferences oronline platforms and like meet

(01:00):
incredible people who haveincredible platforms, who are
really talking about importantthings.
So I'm so excited to be doingthis a lot.
But before we jump into ourinterviews for today, our
conversation, I would love tokick it over to you, selena, to
tell folks a little bit moreabout you, who you are in the
world today and how you'd liketo be known.

Thank you so much .
I actually really appreciatewhat you said really quick
before I introduce myself, aboutbeing able to find each other
in the podcasting community,because it is vast.
There are a lot of differentkind of podcasts out there, so
to find a thread like thatlittle golden thread that
connects you with anotherpodcast that is like you, oh, I

(01:40):
do not take it for granted thatwe know each other in this space
now.
I do not take it for grantedthat we know each other in this
space now, and I'm really reallyexcited and grateful that we
have done this episode swap,because that also does not
always happen.
But thank you so much forhaving me everybody.
My name is Selena Green.
I am the host of the Hot GirlsHealing Podcast, but I'm also an
artist, I'm a communityorganizer, I'm an entrepreneur,

(02:05):
I'm a business owner.
So I do a lot.
I do a lot of things and youlikely, if you get out in the
Seattle area, you will see me atsome of these events not all of
them child, because I'd betired to.
One thing I do is take a nap aswell.
So, amen, I like to keep mylife balanced and fruitful.

That's beautiful and that's amazing.
You mentioned so many things inthat introduction, thank you.
So, artist organizer, creativehealer, all of these incredible
things that are so important,and I would love to talk a
little bit more about just thegifts that you share with the
world, because those titles inand of themselves are gifts, but
I'm very curious about how thatshows up to you in your

(02:50):
community organizing work, howthat shows up to you as a
creative and an artist.
I would love to hear more aboutthe gifts you have and how you
share them with the world.

I love this question.
So, being that I am amultifaceted person, and I
actually always have been, butin the past I would try to just
like choose one of the things.
I have, like this masterymindset, and I really just
wanted to be amazing at onething and be like the PhD.
You know, whatever that thingwas, I actually planned to go to

(03:22):
school and get a PhD.
So, as I'm, you know, exploringthings, I go to art school, I
go to college and graduate, Iget my bachelor's in community
psychology, and so there'salways this community thing in
my life.
And once I graduated and Ientered the workforce, I'm in

(03:42):
the nonprofit sector.
So art was like on the backburner.
I was being practical.
It was about approaching mycommunity and, you know, really
trying to solve some of thesystemic issues that had had
personal effects in my lifethings like the war on drugs,
things like poverty, things likelack of resources sometimes or

(04:04):
a parent who was able tonavigate resources.
So all of these things werehappening.
All of these things wereinforming my choices, about what
was possible for my future.
If you asked me what I wasgoing to be doing when I was 12,
I was about to be dancing forthe rest of my life, dancing,
singing on stage, performing.
And by the time I was fillingout college applications, I was

(04:26):
like, okay, so psychologyobviously right, because what is
actually happening and why?
And so it was actually aboutbeing practical, making money,
figuring some stuff out.
And by the time I graduated Iwas still in that space of
hustle of produce, produce,produce, achieve, make it happen

(04:47):
.
And that lasted for a while aswell.
But somewhere in that grind Istarted to not be okay.
I started to physically notfeel well.
I was neglecting my health tojust focus on my studies.
Feel well, I was neglecting myhealth to just focus on my

(05:08):
studies.
But you know, you get to apoint where you're neglecting
yourself for this, for that, forthe other.
They're all really greatreasons, they all seem so much
more important at the time.
But my body got to a point, asthe body does, where it is no
longer accepting not being apriority.
And so I got to the point whereI was, you know, at school,
going to my college course, buthaving to pause like six times

(05:32):
on this way up the stairsbecause I'm losing my breath and
I feel like I'm going to passout.
And it actually took me a whileto be like I should go to the
doctors, like that's, that's howfocused I was on the next
assignment.
Like I was like, oh right, thisis actually not normal, I'm a
pretty fit person, like I shouldbe able to get up the stairs
without having to take a break.

(05:54):
So I ended up having toreprioritize and I still was
able to graduate college, but Iwas no longer on the deans and
presidents list like I was whenI started and I left out very
different than I went in.
And so my healing journey becamemore important to me and
through healing I was reallyjust trying to figure out what

(06:14):
was wrong with me.
Once I got to a certain pointof reflection and really
dialogue with myself, my highestself, my inner child, my inner
teenager, I figured some thingsout in me and I'm like, oh, I'm
not broken, I'm not sad, I'm notthese things that I had

(06:40):
unconsciously internalized, like, look on the outside, I'm
fabulous, I'm cute, I'm havingfun, I'm achieving right, I'm
doing the things.
But then I'm also sad and I'mdysregulated and I'm you know.
So I was having to reconcilethese two things.
How am I doing the thing?
But I'm also not happy.
How is this possible?

(07:02):
And the psychology degree wasnot helping me figure it out the
way that I thought it was goingto.
So it really was this journeyof deep, reflective healing
through community work.
At the same time that I'mdeveloping holistic healing
programming for my community,I'm also going to therapy, I'm

(07:24):
journaling, I'm meditating, I'mcrying a lot.
I've got to the point where I'mtelling people my healing costs
a lot of tears, because yourgirl was crying about everything
for a while.
It was a drop of a hat, a pinneedle, and I'm crying and it
was really just allowing myselfto cry.
I went from not feeling anyemotion that I felt like was

(07:48):
just dissatisfying.
If it was an emotion that Ididn't want to feel, I just
didn't Compartment to feel, thenit's like you have to have some
intelligence around, that youhave to be able to deal with
your own emotions, and Icouldn't.
So it was a long process.

(08:10):
I've told you the long versionshort version is I try to do all
of the things that I can do andI try to have a growth mindset
now, because it took me so longto get to where I am now that I
want to let all of the sides ofme shine.
I want you to see the businessowner, I want you to see the

(08:31):
healer, I want you to see theartist, and I want to celebrate
my journey, not only where I'vecome, but where I have to go as
well, because it's not over.

Yeah, that's really powerful.
I know there's so much there.
I know one of the things weconnected on early was just our
passion around the nonprofitsector and the impactful work
that that sector does when itcomes to systemic oppression,
recognizing that we live in asociety that probably wouldn't
need so many doing all thesethings if there weren't so many

(09:05):
systemic problems in the firstplace that were structurally
made and put in place.
But it's so interesting to me tohear you speak about your
experience and your health, likethe impacts on health that you
were feeling while you weregoing through school and your
day-to-day, because there are somany Black women in particular,
black women and femmes inparticular, who everyday

(09:25):
stresses, everydaymicroaggressions, all of these
emotions and things that webottle up and feel and suppress
can lead to autoimmuneconditions, like so many studies
are finding that now, and howimportant it is for us to take a
step back to actually listen toour bodies and rest when we
need to.
I know medical racism exists,but advocate for ourselves when

(09:48):
we do go to the doctor and we'reexplaining what experiences
we're having and what's going on.
I literally just read a post onLinkedIn this morning of like a
45-year-old woman who wasadvocating for herself to get
like a colonoscopy, but thedoctors were telling her she
doesn't need it because she'snot 50 yet.
But she felt like she needed itbecause colon cancer runs in

(10:10):
her family and she was adamantand vocal about getting checked
early.
And when they finally gave inand did it, despite the fact
that her insurance told her shewas too young, despite the fact
that multiple doctors kepttelling her no, they found
multiple precancerous polyps onher colon.
And they wouldn't have foundthat had she not advocated for

(10:32):
herself and listened to her ownbody, even when these doctors
were telling her no.
And that comes up too.
So much when it comes to ourhealth and our healing learning
how to advocate for ourselvesand listen to ourselves and be
vocal about our needs and whathealing learning how to advocate
for ourselves and listen toourselves and be vocal about our
needs and what we're feeling.
So, hearing you share your storyand your example of your health

(10:53):
challenges and experiences thatyou were feeling, and even
though it might have taken you awhile to go, get it checked out
and go inward and look for themedical support, look for the
internal support to take care ofyourself.
You did it and now you're in amuch better space for having
done so, which is a reallybeautiful thing.
And even going back to yourcommunity psychology degree and

(11:14):
this, this sense of community,community, community, like it
looks different for everyone andI know that, like in your
organizing work, in theworkshops that you facilitate
around self-love, the energy youpour into your podcast, like
all of these are expressions ofhow you pour into community,
which is so beautiful.

(11:34):
So I would love to hear alittle bit more about you as the
business owner, because somefolks listening might not know
that hat.
They might not know that aboutyou and then you know, after
sharing about that.
I would love to also hear alittle bit more about how you
kind of take off the hat of thefacilitator and building on
those rituals and routines thatyou do to take care of yourself,

(11:57):
that you've put in place tosupport yourself and your health
, and all those things.

Yeah, for whatever reason, the business
side is where I'm verycomfortable.
Health and all those thingsyeah, for whatever reason, the
business side is where I'm verycomfortable.
My ancestors were businessowners and entrepreneurs and
people who made it happen forthemselves.
It's just that hustle is in me.
I don't got to fight that.
I often lean into the hustle.
It is a place where I bringtogether my care for community

(12:26):
and that little spirit of hustle.
I bring them together and I'mlike okay, what can I do?
How can I move in a way that isgoing to benefit my community?
And I know that feels likesmall, probably, but that's
actually a very big statement inmy opinion.
Because imagine if we allthought that way, imagine if we
all thought what can I do that'sgoing to benefit all of us.

(12:47):
And that's part of what I wantto do through my business is
help change minds, help changethe way we think as a community,
because community psychology isabout not only the community,
obviously, but how the health ofthe community, the way the
community is thinking and moving, affects each individual right,

(13:10):
because if I'm okay, but I'mthe only one in my community,
that's okay.
Am I really okay?
No, I'm not, of course not,because we're all connected.
So, when it comes to business,for me, my business is a special
purpose corporation.
When it comes to business, forme, my business is a special
purpose corporation.
So I have a for-profit businessthat is not tied to making

(13:33):
money, which, like you know, askmy accountants like they like
yeah, we know Like the point ofmy business is to promote this
special purpose, and the specialpurpose is self-love and
relationship healing, right?
So why self-love?
Well, self-love is why I have abusiness.
Self-love will have youstarting businesses.
Self-love will have you givingyourself your best chance to

(13:55):
succeed.
Self-love will have you beingyour own coach.
When you fail, self-love isgoing to help you figure out how
to get back up.
It's not going to chastise youfor having failed at all.
You know it's about yourrelationship to yourself and
then it's about yourrelationship to others, because
community work was really easyfor me.
Caring about other people comesnaturally to me and I was also

(14:18):
raised to do it because I wasraised, you know, to be a woman.
I was conditioned to be a girland that is what my

(14:39):
understanding of thatconditioning was Serve others,
make sure other people are takencare of, make sure other people
feel comfortable, make sureother people are well, and then
maybe think about yourself.
That way of operating in thecommunity was not sustainable
for me, so I actually had toflip it around.
I had to rewire my thinking tobe like oh, I have to take care
of myself first, I have to makesure I'm well, I have to make
sure I have what I need, andthen I'm going to show up in the

(15:00):
community in a way that's somuch different.
I'm going to show up withoutresentment, show up in the
community in a way that's somuch different.
I'm going to show up withoutresentment in my professional
business encounters.
You're not going to have toworry about my business showing
up without our deliverablesbecause I've not agreed to any
deliverables that I couldn'tdeliver.
I'm not going to overextend mybusiness.
And then I lose the trust ofthe community because my
business is again and again notdelivering what I said.
I was going to overextend mybusiness.

(15:21):
And then people, I lose thetrust of the community because
my business is again and againnot delivering what I said I was
going to deliver.
It's these things businessrelationships, personal
relationships they move insimilar ways, and so, when it
comes to my business.
I'm doing things like workshopsaround self-love.
I'm currently developingsomething around conflict

(15:45):
resolution right, because theseare the skills that my business
sees are valuable for ourcommunity to have.
My business does healingrelated retail items.
We have things like self-lovejournals, where there are
prompted questions and space toexplore your feelings, space to
explore different concepts,different relationships that you

(16:08):
have and how thoserelationships, concepts, beliefs
are affecting your life.
I have other products that I'mcoming out with.
There are smaller thingsbookmarks, just to promote those
moments of quiet, those momentsof stillness.
So everything in my business isabout promoting wellness,
promoting health in ourcommunity through self-love and

(16:31):
through relationship healing.

That's really rich and that's really powerful.
You said a couple of thingsthat really stood out to me just
in terms of how we grow up andthe conditioning that we grow up
with.
Like from the moment we comeout of the womb, it's the gender
reveal parties and the pink orthe blue, like you know that
kind of stuff.
And I think it's reallypowerful to be in an era where

(16:53):
people are kind ofdeconstructing that and
reclaiming their identities forthemselves outside of what
they've been conditioned to do.
But even in speaking aboutgirlhood and womanhood and
feminine energy, like it's avery nurturing energy and we are
in a lot of ways, conditionedto be nurturers.
We are automatically assumed tobe, like, community minded and

(17:19):
family focused.
Like that is that's what we getfrom little girls, from the
moment that the baby doll is putin our hands, from the moment
where we're getting, like thekitchen set and, like you know,
the easy bake oven and like allof those things.
And that's not always the waythat the boys are growing up.
There's not a lot of space fornuance.

(17:39):
Do anything in between?
Like I didn't get a science kitwhen I was growing up.
You know, even if you ask theremight have.
Depending on who you're beingraised by, there might be
pushback.
So that really stood out to mewith you discussing that.
But I also love the way youframed how your business is an

(18:02):
expression of self-love, likewhen you have self-love, like
you're able to do all theseother things.
I think the power of self-loveis the recognition of what you
might need, but also what yourcommunity might need, what
others might benefit from too,which I think is really
beautiful and really powerful.
So I feel like there are somany ways that might have and

(18:24):
things that could have pointedyou on this journey.
But I'm really curious to knowif there was an aha or a light
bulb moment that kind of reallyset you off on this like
self-love and liberation journey, and not not just the healing
aspect of it, because Iunderstand that story, but just
really it clicking that likeself-love is the answer type of

(18:45):
thing.

Yeah, I've thought about this a lot because
I've been on this journey for aminute.
I'm 31 years old today, whilewe're filming this, and I felt
like, oh, when I was 25, likesomething clicked.
And when I was, you know, 20,something clicked.
I really have to go all the wayback to being 18 years old.

(19:09):
When I was 18 years old, I wasjust sitting in a home full of
dysregulated people, justfeeling very alone, feeling very
discontent, to say the least,and I took like a deep breath
and I just, I really just saidto myself this cannot be my life
, this cannot be my life, and Iliterally said my life is going

(19:35):
to get better from this dayforward.
Literally, this, right here, isthe day that my life is moving
forward from, and ever sincethat one day, I can literally
say every year has gotten better, no matter what has been
happening.
Every year, I've found morepeace in my life because I
declared it for myself.

(19:55):
That day and other than itbeing, I think, a moment where I
felt, I think, being at 18 wasthe moment where I said, okay,
now it's my turn, like I get toclock in, it's on me now, and
there comes a time in your lifewhere you want to regain that
power, because that is truth.
That's truth what I felt inthat moment.

(20:15):
But there's a lot in our livesthat comes to take away our
inherent power, that inherentpersonal power that we all have.
There's a lot that will comeinto your life that will take
that power from you or make youfeel like you can't.
You don't have that powerbecause the power cannot be
taken away.
But if you don't recognize itwhile it's there, you know it

(20:39):
can become hard to recognize,and it was in that moment that I
think I started to recognizethat power in me again.
And so I didn't reclaim it allin that day and everything
didn't change overnight, but Ican say it was that moment of
just.
I needed something differentpeople.

It is that moment of knowing that you need
something different, when youlook around in your
circumstances, in yourenvironment, and it's just like
okay, enough is enough,something has to change.
I want to do somethingdifferent for myself.
I think that's really powerful.
And to recognize that at 18,that's a young age, to realize
that something has got to giveand something has to be

(21:25):
different, so I think that'sreally powerful.
So thank you for sharing thatexample.
I want to talk a little bitmore about hot girls healing,
because that is the podcast.
That is an extension of yourcommunity care, that is an
extension of your self-love, butalso your love for community.
And I'm very curious to know,like from you, from your mind,

(21:49):
what does a hot girl healing?
Do you like?
What does that look like?
What does that mean?
How does one become said hotgirl healing?
Like, just talk about allthings hot girls healing.
I love it.

So hot girls healing like that's me.
I'm a hot girl who is healing.
The hot girls healing podcastis.
You know it could be called ahot girls healing podcast, you
know I mean, but I wanted to saythe because you know this is a
hot girls healing podcast forwhatever hot girl finds it, and
to me that just means I want toagain honor every part of me.

(22:27):
Do I like to shake my ass?

Yes, I do Amen.

Okay, do I run a business?
Yes, I do.
Am I a wife, a sister, a motherto my niece and cat?
Yes, I am.
Yes, that part Okay.
I'm a multifaceted person.
My joy brings me more joy.
My celebration brings morecelebration.
I want to honor that.
I don't have to choose, I don'thave to be one thing to be

(22:58):
another, like it's okay.
I can honor all the things thatI am at all times and I can
just show up knowing that I'menough.
I think that's what the hotgirl's healing, that's what a
hot girl who's on her healingjourney has come to understand
or is coming to understand.
I don't have any expectation forsomeone on their healing

(23:20):
journey other than a willingnessto hold themselves accountable.
Right, because, first of all,if you can't hold yourself
accountable, I can't hold youaccountable.
Leah can't hold you accountable.
Nobody can hold you accountableif you won't, first of all.
And then the other part is tobe in community, is to allow

(23:41):
yourself to be held accountableby the people who are in your
community, and so the reason whyaccountability is so important
to me is because it bringssafety with it and it brings a
certain amount of structure.
Okay, I'm a Virgo, so we like alittle structure, like we go
with the flow too, but I dothink there has to be structure
in community and so, yeah,that's what's important.

(24:04):
Like be you and be accountable.
That's all we really need, Ithink that's so good.

Just showing up as yourself is enough.
Like being yourself is enough,but also holding yourself
accountable and being willing tobe held accountable by your
community.
That's really rich, because somany times we make promises to
ourselves that we break.
I'm like I know I'm guilty ofthat.
All the time I've been tryingto do this, that and the third,
for how long?
And I still ain't there yet.

(24:32):
So, being accountable to myself, my community, holding me
accountable for the promises Imake to myself and to them,
showing up in those spaces is sorich.
And standing in that enoughnessbecause too many of us doubt
that, in whatever capacity, likemaybe I'm not good enough for
this position, or me, who am Ito to start this business?

(24:55):
Or who am I to demand a safeand healthy life?
like all of these differentthings, we question whether or
not we're enough, and it'slearning to stand firm yeah
knowing that you are, even ifyou have growing to do, that's
okay, but knowing that you, asyou are now, the divine body,

(25:16):
divine being that you are now,is enough.
So thank you for sharing that.

That's so good yes, it's, and remind yourself
as many times as you need tothat part, yeah, because it's
okay to forget sometimes too.
I think it's important.
Another part of Hot GirlsHealing is we're not pretending
and we're not projectingperfection and I say project
because that's all it would beis a projection.

(25:42):
None of us are perfect, andthat's another part of the hot
girls healing brand that I'mdeveloping is, you know, being
imperfect is okay, especially intoday's day and age.
It's like nobody's perfect buteveryone pretends to be culture
going on, and it's weird.
For me, I do think it's.

(26:03):
It's a little bit of a youthfulculture, but at the same time,
isn't it just society?
You know what I mean?
And I am all about genderaffirming care for everybody,
right, because everybody getsgender affirming care and
everybody does things thataffirms their gender identity.
So that's amazing and I lovethat for everybody, right?

(26:26):
Like pretty and who is notinherently, who is worthy and
who is not inherently.
And so that's where theself-love comes in, because,
again, back in my entire life,I've been cute.
I'm going to just put that onthe record.
That's not what it's about.

(27:07):
I've always been told I wascute.
I've always been told I waspretty, but it's about more than
that, right, the confidencethat I had before I started my
intentional self-love journey isa different confidence that I
had before, but I still thoughtI was cute back then.
So what changed?
Right?
It's about relationship tomyself then.

(27:28):
So what changed?
Right, it's about relationshipto myself.
I know beyond right, becauselooks can change, they can fade,
they can go in and out of style.
No, I will say, like beingblack ain't never gone out of
style, but anyway.
But people like this and thenthey like that 10 years later.

(27:49):
Right, it's about you and yourconnection to yourself and your
knowledge of your inherent value.
That's the depth of self-lovethat I'm talking about.
And then put on your lip glossand know it's popping.

That's really good.
That's so important because youhave to believe it first, and
if you don't believe it yet, youhave to put systems or
practices in place to help youget there, to believe it.
I don't care if it's being MaryJane, like put in the.
You know the affirmations onthe post-its around day.

(28:26):
I don't care if it's like youaffirming yourself in a voice
note and you listen back to thatvoice note every time you need
whatever it looks like.
You have to know it to be truefor you first.
Everything else is an additive,it's a bonus.
It starts internally.
So that's really powerful.

Yeah, it's a beautiful journey.
I'm telling you, self-love hasled me to so many beautiful
things.
I've stopped sleeping on myself.
You know how we all have likethat thing where we're like if
there was just no, like if Ididn't have to pay for anything
and money wasn't an issue, Iwould just I'm doing those

(28:59):
things.
I'm literally doing thosethings now, like I don't even
know how, I don't even know howit's, just through trusting the
process and following my joy inthe last few years since I've
left the non-profit sector andstarted my own business because,
mind you, I started a podcastand then I started a business

(29:22):
because I was like, wait, thispodcast is actually leading me
to something.

Yeah, yeah.
That's the beauty of podcasting.

Since I have done this, I've gotten more into my
art.
I reclaimed all that art fromback in the day.
I haven't started dancing again, which is I'm finding a
particular journey, that I'm onwith some hurt around dancing,
that I'm like, wow, okay.
So I haven't started dancingagain, which I am keeping an eye

(29:55):
on emotionally andpsychologically.
But I've gotten back into myart, like photography, and I've
been in several galleriesliterally since I picked back up
the camera.

I guess Congratulations and.

I'm like.
I'm like wait, so you'retelling me self-love?
Had me like, being like no, Ican.
And then I did literally justbecause I decided that I could.
Like that is our inherent power.
No one can stop me but me.
That shit's crazy.
I'm sorry, I don't even know ifI can cuss.

But no, you can, and I you know, at the end of
the day, like what while you'retalking?
What it's making me think aboutis the fact that, like,
self-love is a frequency, likewe can operate on all kinds of
them.
And I don't mean to sound allwoo woo, because you know when
you start talking about certainthings, people turn it all the
way off.
Don't click off, but it reallyis.

(30:49):
If you are operating at thefrequency of fear, all you will
attract is more fear.
If you are operating at thefrequency of self-sabotage, all
you will attract is honoringself-love and affirming yourself
and only expecting the best foryourself.
I'm not saying that bad thingswon't happen.

(31:11):
However, you will notice thatyou're operating on the
frequency that pulls in moregood things for you.

It matters.

I think what you describe is operating at that
frequency of self-love andattracting more things that are
already waiting for you, and onthe same frequency, and I think
that's true for you, that's truefor me, that's true for you
listening Like that's true forall of us.
So I think it's reallyimportant.

I'm glad that you said that, because I would roll
my eyes so hard when I heardthat back in the day my eyes so
hard when I heard that back inthe day.
I am a science girly, so thisis also scientific right
Probability Even if I'mvibrating on peace, on self-love
, probability still exists.

(31:59):
The probability of somethingbad happening is possible, which
means that it will happen,because anything that can happen
will you with me, sciencepeople.
Okay, so this just happened.
Today I spilled some oil on mypants before we started filming
today, this skirt that I'mwearing and I was vibrating high
.
I was like I'm about to filmtoday.

(32:20):
It's about to be so cute.
Like I love Aaliyah, it's alwaysa good time to talk, you know,
just doing everything with goodenergy, putting on my makeup and
I'm putting on some oil, and Idropped some on my skirt and now
there's an oil stain and I waslike deep breath, move along.
You know what I mean.
Back in the day, I would havebeen like, oh, I would have

(32:43):
started crying.
Now, my outfit's ruined.
Now I'm going to have to.
Now, I'm imagining the badrepercussions of how this is
going to affect my day later.
Now, deep breath, keep moving.
Like I'm like I'll deal withthat later, it's fine.
And so it really is aboutfrequency.

(33:04):
It doesn't mean the probabilityno longer exists.
It just means I'm movingdifferently.
Now I'm the factor that'schanging in this equation, and
so now the result is going to bedifferent.
It has to be.

Yeah, that's so true, that's so powerful too,
and even that example to me isjust very much giving in a space
where your system is more likejust regulated.
Your nervous system is moreregulated because you can always
tell when someone'sdysregulated, because the
smallest thing will become thebiggest thing, and I've been
there.

I will still leave it.

Knowing all that I know, practicing all that
I've practiced, everything thatI've done, I will still have
those moments.
So I know that if I am reactingvery big to something very
small, I'm not, I'm not doingwell, I'm dysregulated, but you
know you're in a better spacewhen you.
You know you can brushsomething small off and move

(34:01):
forward and fix it later and itdoesn't impact your entire day.
So I think that's also atestament to the just the beauty
of your healing journey andyour growth journey and stepping
more into yourself and calmingyour nervous system, because
that's really important too.
I would love to talk to youabout just balancing your worlds
.
So the artistic world and thecreative world is one thing, and

(34:24):
that's beautiful and powerful.
Congratulations again for havingyour work featured in galleries
.
That's no small feat, and youalso do so much work through
your business that iscommunity-based.
But burnout can still happen.
I think it doesn't matter howmuch our default is to do a
thing and it doesn't matter, itcan still happen.

(34:45):
To do a thing and it doesn'tmatter, it can still happen.
So how do you kind of resistthe pressure to turn the work
that you're doing, the importantwork that you're doing into
like constant output?
Like what does it look like foryou to just turn off and
recenter a little bit to makesure that your cup is full again
as you go out and do all thesethings and to make sure that
you're not coming from a placeof just like constant output and

(35:09):
constantly moving on, becausethat is not great for health
either.

Yeah, and it's not sustainable.
So that is extremely importantfor all of us to think about.
And this is whether we work,you know, one job or 50-11 jobs.
You got to think about it.
So I love this question and forme it definitely comes in with
a balancing act.
I can only do what I can do,just like anybody else, and even

(35:40):
though my work pours into me, Istill need time to do
absolutely nothing.
I'm an introvert.
I'm an extroverted introvert,so I can pop out and show them a
little something by the end ofthe day I got to go and you can
do both.
Yeah, but I got to sit downsomewhere and I got to recharge.
So, as I said at the beginningof our conversation here, I do

(36:04):
like to nap.
I do take a good nap on theweekend.
I'm reclaiming every nap Ididn't take as a child.
Right now, I love that.
I love that, yeah, so I nap.
I do try to keep at least oneday a week clear where I have
nothing on my schedule, and thathas been an exercise in
discipline.
Discipline is not just to makeyou work, discipline is also to

(36:29):
make you rest.
And I remind myself put thatphone down If I even see myself
checking the email.
No, we're not doing that rightnow, because I can work when
it's time to work.
So I need to play when it'stime to play and I need to rest
when it's time to rest, and thatis.
That is the discipline that Ihave with myself.

Yeah, I love that.
Just even reiterating taking anap like gosh.
I kind of envy people who couldjust take a nap like I gotta be
really, really tired to justlike nap in the middle of the
day.
I feel like I overthink it somuch.
I feel like I just just have tobe up doing something.
So when I get tired enough toactually take a nap, I'm feeling

(37:11):
so proud of myself.
I'm just like yes, good for you,girl.
So I love the fact that you dothat and you like commit to that
.
I love.
I love the phrase of likereclaiming every nap.
You didn't take as a child.
That just feels so like,rebellious and fun.
Well, napping as a kid was hardright.
You didn't take as a child.
That just feels so likerebellious and fun.

Well, napping as a kid was hard right, you didn't
want to nap as a kid, youdidn't?
I would literally lay thereawake for the whole two hours
that I was supposed to benapping.
Just like, when is this gonnaend?
Remember every nap and I'd belike look at like how are they
asleep, like even inkindergarten, because I don't
think they nap in kindergartenanymore.

Oh no.

Yeah, when we were kids they was napping in
kindergarten.
So I had to nap every day inkindergarten that I did not take
.
I was quiet and I was a goodstudent.
So my teacher would let me playquietly because I could play
quiet enough.
She knew I had a billionsiblings at home, I know how to
play quiet.
She would just let me playeventually, but I never took

(38:11):
those naps.
Now as an adult I'm like dang.

Kids are built different because let me get a
nap shout out to that teacher,for, you know, giving you an
opportunity to like do somethingelse with your time and I also
love what you're saying aboutdiscipline also being for your
like rest too, not just forgetting stuff done that's so
important and I, I personallyhave like this relationship with

(38:39):
with the word.
I try to use words that feelmore like I don't know just good
to my, my body I guess, and Isaid, like 2025 is my year of
devotion.
so I also feel like devotion isa good way or a good word or
good substitute for that forpeople who might also struggle

(38:59):
with that word, but they're, butit's the same.
It's like honoring what youneed doing, the things that
support you, that pour into yourself-love, that refill your cup
, that help you to feel the mosteaseful, the most regulated,
all of those things.
So I think that's so importantand I love to hear that too.
It offers a good perspective.
Shift around that word, likeit's not just for the hard stuff

(39:21):
, it's also for play, it's alsofor rest, it's also for fun,
it's also for, like,decompressing at the end of a
long week, like, yeah, honoringyourself in that way that's
actually why I use disciplinetoo, because discipline was only
used for it was like the wordconsequence, which is also not
inherently a negative word, butit's only ever used as one.

So so I will use consequence positively for
myself as well.
I'm like, okay, well, if I dothis, then my consequence will
be, I can you know, whatever thepositive thing is, because it
was never positive, but it canbe.
So I want to remind myself ofthat.

Yeah, I love that too, because it's also a
way of just being like.
The things that we've beentaught, the things that we've
been conditioned to believe,don't have to be that way.

We can recreate all of this stuff for ourselves
at any point to make it work forus so like let's do that please
, let's do that please andreclaim your power, that
personal power, that's ourpersonal power to reframe
whatever we need to reframe inour lives.

Yes, yeah, I love that.
Okay.
So I would love to jump intosome beliefs you have, even more
than we've talked about,because we've talked about
beliefs around identity, we'vetalked around all of that stuff.
But I would love to jump intosome beliefs around like healing
, identity, leadership, thatkind of stuff for you, just

(40:50):
beliefs that maybe you once held, that just no longer fit in
this season, and like just newtruths that you're learning to
live by, like you've shared somany already.
But even in this season, inthis moment, in this month, in
this year, like things that arecoming up for you that maybe
were long held beliefs thatyou're shifting because you're
learning they no longer fit,they're not your truth and

(41:13):
you're learning a new way tolive one big one is that whole
mastery mindset.

Not that I don't want to be a master of whatever
it is that I'm doing, but I haveset that down and picked up the
growth mindset where I willgrow into whatever it is that I
need to.
Whatever skills I need toacquire to get to the next thing
that I'm working towards, I can.
That's the mindset that I wantto have.
I need to acquire to get to thenext thing that I'm working
towards I can.
That's the mindset that I wantto have.
I want to believe that I canachieve whatever I need through

(41:50):
community.
I don't have to do it alone.
That's one of my biggest shiftsin perspective is that I do not
have to do it alone.

And I can trust people to help me, to support me
, to care about me.
All of that is true, like Ifeel like, especially in this
time, in this era, especially ashow we look and identify in
this world.
Right now, we need communitymore than ever and it's okay to

(42:43):
lean on people, it's okay to askfor help, it's okay to to have
the expectation and the hope andthe type of relationship where
we show up for each other, youknow, and I think that's really
rich.

So thank you for sharing that yeah, it's so funny
when I fell off, because whenyou were first saying beliefs, I
was like, oh my god, now I getto talk about all my conspiracy
theories we can talk about thosetoo.

Listen, I don't know.
I don't know if you want to getme started.

I'm like, as a millennial, I believe too many
conspiracy theories, like theyreally got our generation same.

I mean at this point, are any of them?

I don't know, I'm like, I'm always like.
Conspiracy doesn't mean it'snot true yeah, me too get my
foil out of here that'd be awhole other episode.

But I'm just like, yeah, we could have gone.
We could have gone there.

But yes, no.
But limiting beliefs, yeah.
Limiting beliefs were the onesI had to put behind me, for sure
.

Yeah yeah, oh my gosh, that is a.
That's a thing in and of itselftoo.
Like so many of us hold thoselimiting beliefs.
It's so interesting this thisis making me because you
mentioned it too that you can,you exist in duality.
You can be an extrovert, youcan be an introvert.
I describe myself as moreintroverted, learning that a lot

(44:16):
of the people that I look up to, that present a certain way,
are actually more introvert,like they're describing
themselves that way.
And I was talking to someonethe other day and they were
basically asking me howcommitted to that identity are
you?
Like?
Can you see yourself anotherway?
Like, can you describe yourselfanother way?
Like, can you start to believethat you can be another way?

(44:37):
And I'm like, I mean, I know Ican.
I've been in positions andsituations where I can show up
differently, but at my core, Iknow what I need to take care of
myself.
And it is a recharge.
It is occasional solitude, itis stepping away from the
madness and the noise in certainspaces, especially when it

(45:00):
comes to, like, being a businessowner, like having to put on a
little bit more of anextroverted hat sometimes to
network to get the client, likeall of those things.
It made me think.
Them asking me.
That made me think about howcommitted I am and it made me
also think about how much isthat like a limiting belief

(45:22):
about myself versus one thatfeels like expansive.
And it feels true, but I feellike when I solely describe
myself that way, it feels morelimiting than it does like
expansive, I guess.
So even you bringing uplimiting beliefs is just very
interesting to me.
It makes me think there's atangent to say.

(45:42):
It makes me think yeah, no,that's.

It makes me think too, like the whole way that I
even because I again I'm like Idon't have limiting beliefs, I
have crazy beliefs like, um, Ibelieve I'm capable of anything
that I want to achieve at thispoint.
But I did this exercise wheresomeone was like what's your
biggest dream?
Imagine it.
Like, hold that, now, make itbigger.

(46:06):
Okay, now make that even bigger.
And I was like I was justgetting blown away.
I was like there's no way, butlike my biggest dream, what it
could be, it could have beenlike up to like so many times,
and it was by this exercise thatI did and I found that that was
a limited belief, like I wasbelieving, with some limited

(46:26):
reality of what was capable andwhat was possible for me.
And it's like sometimes youdon't know, sometimes you have
to like think even bigger thanthe biggest thing you've thought
, because who knows what you'vebeen taught to believe is
possible.

You have to be the one to think beyond what
you've been taught is possibleyeah, yeah, it makes me think
about the I believe in, like avisual vision board, sure, but
like living ones too.
So I and sure, if I'm beinghonest and human, certain
feelings might come up if I seedifferent examples of people

(47:07):
living a life or a lifestylethat I deeply desire, but 95% of
the time it's like, oh, I lovethat, like I aspire to that,
like I haven't like, oh, Ihaven't thought about that for
myself, I haven't thought aboutthat before, I haven't thought
about that for myself, I haven'tthought about that before.
But seeing this example ofsomeone doing it and existing
this way and like moving throughthe world in this way, opens my

(47:29):
mind up to what is possible forme.

Yeah.

So I feel like I'm very much in a season of
challenging limiting beliefs.
I'm very much in a season ofchallenging, like, my identity
and how I show up in the world,and like what this society tells
me I have to do versus what Ifeel deeply committed to doing
and and how I feel committed toexisting in this, in this life.

(47:53):
But yeah, that's just reallyrich.
It makes me think about likewhat limiting beliefs are coming
up for me and like how can Icontinue to challenge them and
like grow beyond them intobeliefs that feel more expansive
and like bigger for me and likewhat bigger could be possible.
So really good, yeah, okay.

(48:16):
So I want to know what thepeople don't know.
You, you are, like you said,multifaceted.
You're a multidimensionalperson.
You exude so much positivityand care and just self-awareness
and healing energy for yourselfand for others, even in the
short interactions that we'vehad together all the way on

(48:37):
different coves of the states.
But I would love to know whatis a part of yourself that you
feel like people often overlookor misunderstand about you.
Even for the folks who may knowyou and follow your work
closely, what's something thatthey might overlook or
misunderstand?

I don't know how people get the impression of
this, but I struggle, like, like, I am a happy person.
I do tend to have a positivedisposition and I'm also like,
maybe the friend, maybe I'm thestrong friend, probably I am.

(49:16):
I do tend to be the person too,yes, but I also have moments of
, you know, feeling lonely orfeeling down.
You know, I didn't develop aself-love business because
everything was already peachykeen with me and I was just so

(49:37):
good.
So my business is built fromlived experience and from
practice and from, you know,from research and professional.
You know pursuits as well,obviously, but those were like

(49:59):
Western requirements.
Those were like Westernrequirements, right, the degree,
putting the business plan andfiling the things.
Those were requirements thathad to be done for the business
to be legal and for me to havecredentials that some people
would respect.

(50:19):
But the self-love andrelationship healing, that's
lived experience, that's medoing the work, that's me doing
some research and doing somethings that I would have done in
school and that I learned to doin school.
And you know, I looked atstatistics and studies and all
that, of course, of course, butit's lived experience, it's
doing the work, it's taking thetime.

(50:41):
You know, it's a journey that Istarted when I was 18 years old
.
I hadn't even gone to collegeyet, right.
So this is a long time comingfor me, and nothing happens
overnight, even if it looks likeit did.
So that is what people don'tknow about me.
I would think, or that's whatI've been led to believe, that
people don't know about methrough certain experiences.

Yeah, yeah.
I feel like if you have toquestion or think, if you're the
strong friend, you're probablythe strong friend and I hope
that this season of your lifebrings you more folks who check
in on you too, that you can alsogo to that.

(51:25):
It feels reciprocal for you andalso recognizing that we're all
like you're.
You're fully human, we're allfully human.
So even if we show up a certainway, sometimes like we are all
going through our own personalbattles and struggles, so thank
you for being vulnerable andsharing that you go through
those things too.
So for folks who may notrealize or recognize or honor

(51:49):
that fact, that it is part ofyour truth too, so that's really
powerful.

Yeah, and that's just the reminder that people
are more than one thing.
Just, you know I do like to bea positive force in the
community, and people who arepositive it doesn't mean that
they don't feel anythingnegative just like people who
show up and are maybe a littlebit more grumpy or negative

(52:14):
sometimes.
You know they have their gooddays too and you're like wow,
they're in a good mood today orwhatever.
It is Like we all out here,multifaceted and going through
our own things, and I really dothink it's very important to be
a kind face, a kind presence inthe community, a soft place to
land.

Yes, a soft place to land.
I love that.
You made me laugh.
I was muted, but I was laughinghard when you used the grumpy
example, cause I'm just like Ithat might be me was laughing
hard when you used the grumpyexample because I'm just like I.
That might be me.
I'm just saying, anyway, I loveit.

(52:54):
Speaking of the soft place toland, you talk a lot about safe
spaces.
That's something we talkedabout quite a bit on our episode
together on the Hot GirlsHealing podcast, and I would
love to talk a little bit moreabout why it's so important to
have safe spaces and what do youtruly define as a safe space

(53:18):
and what are some things thatfolks need to kind of learn or
unlearn about what it means tocultivate a safe space.

Yeah, I know there's like a lot of debate
about whether any safe, anyspace can be like a safe space.
Or I know a lot of people aresaying like brave space.
Now I do like to stick withsafe space because I do think
that we can hold such a space.
I think it's possible.
Space because I do think thatwe can hold such a space, I
think it's possible.
I think that only within a safespace can you like really be

(53:49):
brave.
Because if I'm in an unsafespace like, I'm not really being
brave, I'm just surviving, likewhatever actions I'm doing
within that space are forsurvival.
But if I'm in a safe space,then I think I can be brave.
I can take that step beyondwhat is necessary for survival

(54:11):
and go into a different space.
So I hold safe spaces.
I believe that community canhold safe spaces for each other,
and the way that I go aboutdoing this is being vulnerable.
Yeah, one.
It takes a lot to be vulnerable.
It does so.
If we're in a space where we'rebeing vulnerable, everyone's

(54:31):
energy is being used for to holdthat vulnerability.
Once I've been vulnerable andother people become vulnerable,
then the energy and the spacebecome sacred.
And when a space is sacred, youwill be more than brave up in
that sacred space.
We're about to transform, we'reabout to evolve, we're about to

(54:55):
shed, we're going to becomeunburdened, because now it's a
sacred space and you can onlyget to sacred space by going
through safety.
You can't get to the sacredspace through trauma,
dysregulation and all that other.
That's going to be happening inthe brave space.
In my mind.

(55:16):
Somebody else's brave spaceprobably looks different, but
this is just what I think of.
When people say brave space, I'mlike no, I had to be brave, it
wasn't cute.
But in the safe space, Ibelieve that you know, we can be
vulnerable.
Once more of us are vulnerable,the space becomes sacred.
And so once I'm in this sacredspace where other people are
being vulnerable, even if Imyself am not engaging in being

(55:40):
vulnerable, I'm holding thatspace and honoring the
vulnerability that's taken placeand, through witnessing healing
, I'm healing too, because it'sthis relationship that we all
have to each other.
When we see someone else gethurt, we get hurt too.
When we see someone else heals,a part of us heals as well.
The end.

I ain't got nothing to add to that.
That was so profound, like evenyou just explaining moving from
the safe space to the sacredspace and, despite people's
feelings about the brave space,only having gone through the
safe and the sacred we reallyget to the true version of brave
Like I just imagined goingthrough that process with
someone, a friend, anyone, um,and I felt that in my heart.

(56:27):
So I think that was reallyprofound.
So you mentioned an activityyou had done.
I had done one similar around,like new year's Justin Michael
Williams every year, who does aNew Year's Eve celebration
manifestation thing, and thatwas part of our.
One of our activities too waslike dream something up for

(56:49):
yourself, now make it bigger,now make it bigger than that.
And that activity made me feellike wow, like what do I imagine
for myself?
Because I started out reallysmall.
It wasn't like the mostextravagant, it didn't turn into
the most extravagant thing inthe world, but it was a vision
that felt really good to me.
I was living in a home, like,in a style that I really like.

(57:12):
I had the view in the distancethat I really loved.
I was surrounded by my friends,my family, like pets, my love,
like all the things.
It was just a beautiful vision,like for what I can imagine for
myself, and I'm just verycurious for you like, either
personally or professionally andyou've shared some things
you're working to create throughyour business right now but

(57:34):
either personally orprofessionally, or both, what
are some things that you'redreaming up for yourself right
now?
Maybe some things that youhaven't shared with a lot of
folks yet, but it's, it'spercolating in your mind and
your heart yeah, oh, I amworking on some things.

Yes, your girl is .
I feel like I might be, likeyou know how, when they say
people are pregnant with an ideaor pregnant with a project, yes
, we birth projects.
Your girl is carrying right now.
I love it.

I love it.

I love it, I'm so excited about it.
I feel like what's really theera I'm going in is into the
storytelling era, which is, ohmy gosh.
I feel that my ancestors wantthis.
I feel that they want thisstory told, and to declare

(58:33):
myself a storyteller feels verybold.
I was thinking, when you'retalking again about that your
biggest dream and make it bigger, I was like, when do I become
so humble, like that was when Iwas like making my dream bigger
and bigger.
I was like, oh my God, I'm justa humble little girl on a farm.
All I wanted was my, um, my 40acres and a mule at the end of

(58:59):
the day, I think.
But that's what I started with.
But yeah, like you gotta dreambigger.
And once I've made it bigger andbigger, like that, this being
so audacious as to tell my ownstory or to tell a story or to
something around storytelling iscoming up in me and it's wild,

(59:20):
because writing is somethingthat I've been afraid of, um,
for a while.
It started with journaling andjust like my thoughts and
emotions being criticized andpicked apart and you know.
But that's what artistry isanyway, I've signed up for that
in several ways, so it'sreleasing this fear of failing

(59:49):
that comes through self-loveknowing I'm worthy if I succeed
and I'm just as worthy if I failhas opened me up to being
willing to storytell, which issuch a deeply indigenous and
African thing to do is to tell astory and so especially, to
tell the truth throughstorytelling is such a deeply

(01:00:12):
indigenous and African thing todo, so I think it's a part of my
decolonization journey, my selflove journey, and practice is
the storytelling projects thatI'm working on.

Aliya Cheyanne (01:00:23):
I love that.
I'm so excited to see that andstay tuned, in whatever capacity
.
Like you're creating it.
Like I want to read, I want tolisten all the things, and it
definitely ties back to ourorigin.
Some of the first ways that werecorded histories wasn't just
like the carvings, it was spokenword.

(01:00:43):
Ways that we recorded historieswasn't just like the carvings,
it was spoken word, it was oralhistory, and I feel like that's
becoming a lost art as societycontinues to grow into whatever
it grows into these days, butalso as different communities
and indigenous groups and tribesand Native people continue to
feel the impacts of colonizationall over the world.

(01:01:03):
So to reclaim that as yourbirthright, as your next step
now in this season, as a part ofyour future and your legacy,
feels really powerful.
So I'm very excited to see whatcomes.
Thank you for sharing that here.
Yeah, all right.
Well, I have loved every minuteof this.

(01:01:24):
This has just been so rich onso many levels, beyond and in
addition to healing.
So just thank you for showingup vulnerably today, thank you
for showing up honestly, asyourself, in your enoughness,
all of the things, and I feelinspired and transformed from
this conversation.
So thank you.

(01:01:45):
Can you let folks know where tofind you, where to follow you,
where to support your work,where to learn more about your
business all of the things.

Salenna Green (01:01:53):
Well, first, thank you, aaliyah.
So so much for the space thatyou're holding, the stories that
you're telling, yourwillingness to be a beacon for
our community and to be someonewho honors us in real time.
I think, for our community,anyone who sees us truly sees us

(01:02:15):
in real time has like somespecial sight.
Thank you for sharing that andfor inviting me onto your
platform.
Folks, if you would like toconnect with me or get in
contact with me, listen to theHot Girls Healing Podcast.
You can find all of that on mysocial media, at Hot Girls
Healing Podcast, on Instagramand on TikTok.

(01:02:37):
I'm on LinkedIn.
If you're more on theprofessional side of things,
send me a connection request onlinkedin.
I really am someone who is opento networking in person as well.
So if you listen to thispodcast episode and you see me
in the seattle area or somewhereelse, because I'll be traveling

(01:02:57):
, I'll be out here.
Yeah, yeah, say hello, let'schat, let's chop it up.
I'm about my community, I'mabout art, I'm about love.
So if it's any of those things,let's talk.
We can do more together than wecan alone, that's so beautiful
and I receive all of that.

Aliya Cheyanne (01:03:16):
Thank you, I'm holding that deeply, and
everything that you shared willbe linked in the episode
description in the show notes,so folks will be able to find
you easily.
Thank you again so much.
This has been so powerful.

Salenna Green (01:03:28):
It really has.
Thank you so much, aaliyah.
Bye everyone.

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Healing Ourselves, Healing Our Communities with Salenna Green | Ep. 86

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Healing Ourselves, Healing Our Communities with Salenna Green | Ep. 86