January 12, 2025 • 27 mins
Ready to revolutionize your mindset and accelerate your journey toward success? Discover the transformative power of making changes from the outside in. In this episode of the Purposeful Career Podcast, we unlock the secrets of aligning your external world to ignite an immediate shift in mindset and self-belief. Imagine how a simple adjustment in your daily habits, a refreshed wardrobe, or an organized workspace can trigger motivation and action that supports your long-term internal transformation. As we step into a new year brimming with possibilities, explore a holistic strategy that leverages external changes to complement inner growth and help you achieve your boldest goals.
Join me as I delve into personal experiences and client stories that highlight the profound impact of external tweaks on personal and professional growth. You'll hear about a moment of hesitation before committing to a life-changing trip, and learn how it mirrors the journey of a coaching client striving for a promotion. These tales illustrate that while inner transformation is essential, the catalyst often lies in altering the tangible aspects of our lives. Experience how these changes not only reshape our self-perception but also influence how others perceive and respond to us, breaking unproductive patterns and paving the way for new achievements. Tune in to embrace change, step out of your comfort zone, and harness the power of external transformation to elevate your career and life.
Follow us on Instagram @thepurposefulcareer.
Learn more about Next Level, our monthly membership at https://www.thepurposefulcareer.com/nextlevel.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the Purposeful Career Podcast,
episode number 214.
I'm Carla Hudson, brandstrategist, entrepreneur and
life coach.
Whether you're on the corporateor entrepreneur track, or maybe
both, decades of experience hastaught me that creating success
happens from the inside out.
(00:21):
It's about having the clarity,self-confidence and unstoppable
belief to go after and geteverything you want.
If you'll come with me, I'llshow you how.
Hello friends, I hope you hadan amazing week.
(00:41):
Today we're going to talk aboutsomething so helpful, especially
at the start of the year whenwe're all looking at the year in
front of us and thinking whatdo I want to do with my year?
And too many times we give upon our goals.
You know, we all know the statsaround New Year's resolutions
(01:01):
and how long we stick with them,which is not very long.
Or the diet that we're tryingto go on, that we stick with for
three days and then don't do.
Or the promises to get to thegym, and we never get to the gym
.
This is the year that it canall change for you, and this is
the episode that can help changeit.
And so, as you know, mybusiness focuses on cognitive
(01:24):
coaching, so we're focused onmaking long-term, lasting change
by gaining awareness into andpurposefully directing our
thoughts, because everything inour life starts there.
Our beliefs are what drive ouremotional state and our
emotional state is what createsthe actions that we take or
(01:44):
don't take, and that ultimatelycreates our life.
So if we want to make changes,it's that thought that we have
to catch and change.
But today we're going to talkabout it from the opposite point
of view, because that is verytrue.
But changing your thoughts andreframing beliefs, that is
(02:06):
something that is continual workand it's kind of longer term
work.
You sometimes don't see thebenefits of that in the very
near term.
But today's episode is about avery quick, very near-term hack
that you can do to startaligning some of the external
(02:28):
things in your life with theinternal mindset you're trying
to build.
It's about making changes fromthe outside in Not something I
usually talk about, butsomething that is very, very
important, especially when itcomes to tackling big, bold new
things.
A lot of times we'll just talkourselves out of it before we
(02:50):
even try, because we think whatis the point?
And that's long-term mindsetwork you need to work on.
But while you're doing that, itcan be very, very helpful and a
very powerful tool for you toselect some key things outside
of yourself or with your personaor your environments or your
(03:13):
habits or some of those thingsto change, and when you do that,
you will show up differentlyand it'll trigger something in
your mind that when you realizethat those changes, that you're
doing things differently in atangible way, your whole world
will change in terms of what youbelieve is possible for
(03:33):
yourself.
Then these things can be big orthey can be small, but this is
an episode that's worthlistening to.
If 2025 is a year when youreally are trying to go out
there and do something big, thisis a way to tackle it from the
outside in Super, super powerful.
So enjoy this episode on makingchanges from the outside in.
(03:59):
I typically focus on lastingchange.
That is, mindset based Thingslike how do you minimize the
self doubt for good, how do youbuild self-confidence and
maintain it?
How do you go after big, boldnew things and get them and keep
them?
That all comes from the insideout.
(04:21):
So that's most of what mybusiness focuses on, and when I
say from the inside out, I'mreally talking about thoughts
and beliefs, your mindset, sothe things that we think drive
how we feel, and how we feel,whether good or bad, is what
(04:43):
inspires us to take the actionswe either take or don't take,
and what we don't do is just asimportant as what we do, and
it's those two things what we doand don't do that ultimately
create the results in our life.
So when people say our thoughtsbecome things, that's really
what it is.
It's not this magical.
(05:05):
I have a positive thought andeverything in my life is
suddenly amazing.
It isn't that so much, as it isthe fact that your thoughts set
everything into motion.
And if your thoughts are comingfrom a place that doesn't serve
you, if you're saying mean andnasty and toxic things to
(05:27):
yourself, whether you realize itor it's running subconsciously,
you're going to feel like crap,and when you feel like crap,
you're not going to do thingsthat serve you.
You're either going to avoidthings that serve you or you're
going to do a whole bunch ofthings that don't serve you.
You're either going to avoidthings that serve you or you're
going to do a whole bunch ofthings that don't serve you, and
(05:47):
it's going to deliver resultsin your life that you don't want
.
So I spend most of my timetalking about that, and I do
think it's important becausethat is how we change our life.
If we want to change our life,it starts with changing how
we're thinking about ourselves,about others, about the world,
(06:12):
about our possibilities, aboutour self-worth all of it.
However, today I want to talkabout the complete opposite.
I want to talk about the valueof changing from the outside in
Now.
I talked about it a little bitin episode 107, and so I'll
(06:35):
repeat it here because I thinkit's really important.
True lasting change comes fromthe inside out, by changing how
we think and practicing thatdiscipline of thought over time
until they become beliefs,forming that new lens of beliefs
that you put on the world.
That is where long-term lastingchange comes from.
(06:58):
But sometimes, in order to getthe inspiration or the
motivation or to be able tochannel the near term belief to
take the leap of faith tobelieve that something you
really want but maybe you don'tquite believe is possible for
(07:22):
you, sometimes the best way inthe moment, a short term way, to
channel that inspiration andthat flash of belief, is by
changing some things from theoutside, in meaning the tangible
(07:42):
, visible aspects of your life.
It could be as simple as freshflowers on the desk to change
your state of mind.
It could be cleaning out thedesk and making it neat and tidy
to give you a sense of focusand purpose.
(08:04):
That can be a way.
There can be other ways thatyou do to your persona.
Changing a hairstyle, putting adifferent lens on how you dress
Doesn't have to be expensive,but putting things together in a
more thoughtful way.
All of those things aretangible ways that you can start
(08:30):
to believe that your world oryou is in fact changing.
Sometimes we look at the outsidein thing and I know I hardly
ever talk about this, but I wasthinking about the other day.
I was talking to a client aboutit.
She's someone who's alreadyvery successful but she just
(08:53):
wants very much to push throughfrom an executive director which
is like in her company there'sthree levels of directors is
director, senior director,executive director and you have
to directors.
Is director, senior director,executive director and you have
to.
It's from executive director toVP.
That's her big next leap up andshe's wanted it and she's been
(09:18):
shortlisted.
You know she's almost gotten itand then not like she's just
dying to finally get to the nextlevel and she's doing all the
things but she has a lot ofself-doubt about whether she's
going to actually be able to getit and she's finding it hard to
(09:38):
believe that anything's reallygoing to be different this time,
because she's, in her mind,languished at this level for
four or five years.
She feels like this is it.
She's hit her glass ceiling andwe actually did two sessions
this past week because she'sreally trying to dive deep on it
(10:00):
and one of the things that Itold her that she took away and
came back to me a couple of dayslater and said wow, like when
you said it, I thought it wasvery superficial and it wasn't
going to work.
And she said I feel completelydifferent.
(10:20):
She said it was like I put on anew persona.
And what I told her to do is, Isaid look, in those moments of
self-doubt you have to find away to look in the mirror and
say I believe this time it'sgoing to be different because,
(10:42):
fill in the blank, and it's fineto have a thought about that,
but it's a lot easier to believeit's true in the moment If
there's a tangible thing thatyou can point to that has
actually changed.
And that's what I'm talkingabout.
(11:03):
So when we talk about changingfrom the outside in.
That's about changing somethingtangible in your world and,
depending on what you're tryingto do in your life, what goal
you're trying to go after, whatyou would change from the
outside in would look different.
(11:24):
But the tangible thing iswhat's going to help you
understand that this time it canpotentially be different.
It's also proof to yourselfthat you can show up or do
things in a different way.
It's very important and I willrelate it to my own life.
(11:46):
I actually had a trip plannedwith a couple of my girlfriends
and it was semi-spoiler moment,like we only planned it probably
a couple of three weeks ago andit sounded great at the time.
I haven't seen them in personfor a while and a quick
girlfriend's trip to Floridasounded like just what the
doctor ordered.
(12:06):
However, as the time approached, I just wasn't in the mood.
I'm running a business, I havea demanding job in corporate
America.
It's just a lot of life goingon right, and as the day was
approaching, I was like I don'twant to go, you know, and I even
(12:27):
texted her.
I said I really I want tocancel.
I want to see you guys, but Ijust I want to cancel and I said
, I just haven't done it yet.
And she said something to methat really stuck with me.
She's like I know you do and Iunderstand why, but this will be
(12:49):
really good for you.
And I read that and I thoughtabout my coaching client who
wants to get promoted and justdidn't really believe that
anything was going to bedifferent or whatever.
And that text from my friendmade me remember a promise I had
(13:09):
made to myself this is going tobe a very different year.
I'm going to show updifferently in, especially my
personal life.
And it was interesting when shesaid that to me I thought
instantly of my client and theadvice I gave to my client and I
told myself you're going.
The common thread there is if Iwant my life to be different, I
(13:34):
have to be a different person.
I have to get out there andstart living again.
It's time to start committingto the fun things that I want to
do in my life again, the funthings that I want to do in my
life again.
And it's really easy to getinto the habits that we get into
.
Like with my client who wants toget promoted, we started
(13:56):
talking about what would thatmean to change from the outside
in and at first she balked at itand I get it because it can
sound really superficial.
She's like what do you mean?
Like I need to go get a haircut, you know?
And I was like maybe.
But I said it could be assimple as a new pair of shoes.
(14:17):
It could be as simple as doingmore accessorizing of your
outfits.
It could be as simple asstyling your hair differently.
Or it could be astransformative as, hey, I
haven't invested in clothessince before the pandemic.
Let me go out and refresh mywardrobe, if you have the
resources to do that.
Like, it can be as small or asbig as you feel you personally
(14:42):
need.
But the point is for her.
What she told me was sheactually went out and she hired
a stylist and she said, hey, Ineed to do a wardrobe refresh
for winter and here's my budget.
And it was something that shefelt was comfortable for her.
And by the time she got to thestore, the lady had her stuff
(15:04):
ready and she tried it on, onand she bought a good percentage
of it, which she said this issomething I haven't, I don't
think, ever done.
Usually, I'm like orderingonline and nothing ever goes
together.
And what she said was shecommitted to it?
She did it and for the nextweek before we met again, she
(15:27):
said she felt different.
She felt she was beingdifferent, she was showing up
different and, whether it's trueor not, her perception was
people responded to herdifferently the same people that
she works with every day andhas worked with every day for
years.
She felt we're maybe listeningto her more in meetings or
(15:52):
talking to her differently orresponding to her differently,
and what we talked about isthat's probably true.
Because you felt different, youfelt put together, you felt
like a next level version ofyourself.
So you were doing what I said inepisode number 107.
(16:15):
You were being someone newbecause you changed some
tangible ways about how you wereshowing up and that caused you
to think differently aboutyourself when you looked at
yourself in the mirror andbecause of those thoughts that
(16:36):
created emotions in you thatthen caused you to show up in a
more confident manner and peopleresponding to you.
So it wasn't necessarily thenew outfit.
It was how you felt aboutyourself when you saw yourself
in the new outfit, and themindset and the emotions and the
(16:58):
actions that created is whatothers were responding to.
So I know a lot of times wetalk about dressing or dress for
success and it's so easy todismiss that it's like, listen,
that's just an outer veneer, andI would never focus there 100%,
(17:19):
because I really do believethat lasting change comes from
the inside out.
But what I know for sure isthat when we want to go after
something new, especially ifit's something that we don't
really think is going to happenlike no matter how hard we work,
(17:41):
we just don't think we're goingto get there, maybe because
we've tried and failed, or wejust don't think it's meant for
us, but it's something we really, really want.
When that's the case, it can bevery helpful to start changing
or tweaking some aspects of yourouter life, like, for example,
(18:05):
let's just say one of your goalsis to be more organized,
procrastinate less.
One of the external things thatyou might do to help with that
is take a look at your desk athome, if that's where you work,
or at work.
Take a look at the organizationof your inbox, your file system
(18:27):
.
Is your desktop full of randomfiles that you can never find
anything, or do you have anorganized way of keeping
information that you need readyaccess to?
That's one of the ways that youif you have an issue with
procrastination or productivityor something like that could
(18:48):
have a tangible reason tobelieve this time you're going
to be able to make this stick.
You're going to be able to undothat underserving performance
pattern that you have.
So those are the things that I'mtalking about and, again, I'm
not a huge fan of focusing allyour energy there.
(19:11):
I don't personally believe thatpays dividends over time.
But I 100% believe that whenyou want to go do something big
and new, big and new you need togive yourself some tangible
(19:35):
proof that this time things aregoing to be different, and the
best way to do that is, yes,keep working on your mindset,
keep working on aligning thethoughts that you have with the
emotions and the actions that'lllead you towards that goal.
But do not be afraid to starttweaking depending on what your
(19:55):
goal is, some of the aspects ofyour outer world Clean the car,
clean the desk, freshen thewardrobe, get a haircut, change
something that makes you look inthe mirror and believe that
(20:15):
this time you're showing up as aperson who will have that thing
, that small little gesture thatyou make in tweaking your outer
being or environment.
It's maybe not you personally,it might be your house, maybe
(20:39):
your car, whatever it is, mightbe your desktop organization,
whatever it is, that can be thething that makes you believe.
That makes you believe.
No, this is not like all myother trials and failures.
This time I have my back.
(21:00):
This time I'm showing updifferently.
This time I believe it becauseI'm being someone new, so I
wanted to hit on that today.
It's a little bit shorterepisode, but I think it's really
powerful.
I know for my client it reallyfor her, it was like putting on
a new persona, one that shereally needed.
Not that that has anything todo with why they should or
(21:26):
shouldn't promote her, but thething is now, instead of deeply
believing that she's hit theglass ceiling and that the thing
that she wants, that vicepresident level, is out of her
reach, now she believes no, I'malready showing up like the vice
president and people areresponding to me in a different
(21:49):
way, and it's only a matter oftime before that falls into
place.
Like for her, that outer beingshift, that investment she made
in how she dresses herself andputs herself together for her
workday, has been something thatlocked a new thought pattern
(22:15):
into place, something she's beenworking on but couldn't quite
make permanent, and now shealmost feels like she has
already become the vicepresident.
It's just the title hasn't yetarrived and I 100% believe that
it's on its way.
Not because she's magicallybringing something into being,
(22:39):
it's because she's alreadyshowing up that way and when we
believe something that hard,something that hard, then the
rest of the universe just locksinto place around that.
That's how it works and,energetically, that's what's
happening in her life.
And, like for me, I promisedmyself this was going to be a
(23:01):
different year and every aspectof my being.
Yes, I wanted to see my friends.
Yes, it's been a long time, butthe idea of getting on that
plane at 6 AM in the morning, Ijust thought I cannot do it, you
know.
But when she said that to meand I thought about my client
(23:21):
and my advice, I thought youknow what?
I have to give myself tangibleproof that this year I'm showing
up for myself in a differentway and I'm sure it's going to
be an amazing weekend and that'sa proof point for myself that
I'm hanging on to.
To say no, I get to decide somefun things.
(23:45):
Put them on the schedule andthose things I'm going to go do.
I'm not going to cancel onmyself, and this trip this
weekend is my first proof pointthat this year I'm going to
change what my life looks like,how I think about, how I spend
my free time, and it's not justabout hunkering down.
(24:06):
It's also about my connectionsto the people that matter to me
and making the efforts bygetting on the plane at 6am to
go see them, versus doing theeasy thing and just staying put.
So that's what I'm talkingabout.
It's fine to do the long-termwork, and I want you to do the
long-term work because thatthought work and the
(24:27):
self-coaching is where it's atwhen it comes to long-term,
lasting change.
But sometimes you need to lookat the things that you want to
go do and you need to look atyour level of belief in your
ability to do them, and if itisn't quite there, I would
(24:50):
challenge you.
Look at your life, look atyourself, your persona, look at
your surroundings, your habits,your manner of talking, the way
you interact with it, whateverit is.
Look at your way of being andask yourself what are a couple
of things that I could do toprove to myself that I am being
(25:17):
someone new, that when you lookin the mirror you see someone
different.
You see someone that's moreconfident, someone that's more
determined, someone that'sshowing up as that next level
thing that you actually want theorganized person, the thinner
person, the more successfulperson.
(25:39):
I know it sounds superficial andI don't want it to come off
that way, because there's waymore to life than how we look or
the car we drive or the placewe live.
But sometimes little touches,little spots of beauty in your
world, little tweaks in yourbeing, little differences in
(26:03):
your habits and the ways youshow up for yourself and for
others can be the proof that youneed to believe that this time
it's going to be different.
I want you to try it.
Look at your world and see whatcould I tweak today that would
prove to myself that I amshowing up differently for
(26:29):
myself and for the things that Iwant to achieve this year.
So have a think about that andgive that a try, because I know
that when you do, it is going tohelp catapult you forward in
terms of your belief that thethings that you want this year
are not only possible but rightaround the corner.
(26:53):
So with that, I'll leave youtill next time.
Make it a great week.
My friends, do you have a lifecoach?
If not, I'd be so honored to beyour coach.
(27:15):
I've created a virtual coachingprogram and monthly membership
called Next Level.
Inside we take the material youhear on this podcast, study it
and then apply it.
Join me at the purposefulcareercom backslash next level.
Don't forget the the purposefulcareercom backslash next level.
(27:39):
Join me and together we'll makeyour career in life Everything
you dream of.
We'll see you there.
This is the Purposeful Career Podcast,
episode number 214.
I'm Carla Hudson, brandstrategist, entrepreneur and
life coach.
Whether you're on the corporateor entrepreneur track, or maybe
both, decades of experience hastaught me that creating success
happens from the inside out.
(00:21):
It's about having the clarity,self-confidence and unstoppable
belief to go after and geteverything you want.
If you'll come with me, I'llshow you how.
Hello friends, I hope you hadan amazing week.
(00:41):
Today we're going to talk aboutsomething so helpful, especially
at the start of the year whenwe're all looking at the year in
front of us and thinking whatdo I want to do with my year?
And too many times we give upon our goals.
You know, we all know the statsaround New Year's resolutions
(01:01):
and how long we stick with them,which is not very long.
Or the diet that we're tryingto go on, that we stick with for
three days and then don't do.
Or the promises to get to thegym, and we never get to the gym
.
This is the year that it canall change for you, and this is
the episode that can help changeit.
And so, as you know, mybusiness focuses on cognitive
(01:24):
coaching, so we're focused onmaking long-term, lasting change
by gaining awareness into andpurposefully directing our
thoughts, because everything inour life starts there.
Our beliefs are what drive ouremotional state and our
emotional state is what createsthe actions that we take or
(01:44):
don't take, and that ultimatelycreates our life.
So if we want to make changes,it's that thought that we have
to catch and change.
But today we're going to talkabout it from the opposite point
of view, because that is verytrue.
But changing your thoughts andreframing beliefs, that is
(02:06):
something that is continual workand it's kind of longer term
work.
You sometimes don't see thebenefits of that in the very
near term.
But today's episode is about avery quick, very near-term hack
that you can do to startaligning some of the external
(02:28):
things in your life with theinternal mindset you're trying
to build.
It's about making changes fromthe outside in Not something I
usually talk about, butsomething that is very, very
important, especially when itcomes to tackling big, bold new
things.
A lot of times we'll just talkourselves out of it before we
(02:50):
even try, because we think whatis the point?
And that's long-term mindsetwork you need to work on.
But while you're doing that, itcan be very, very helpful and a
very powerful tool for you toselect some key things outside
of yourself or with your personaor your environments or your
(03:13):
habits or some of those thingsto change, and when you do that,
you will show up differentlyand it'll trigger something in
your mind that when you realizethat those changes, that you're
doing things differently in atangible way, your whole world
will change in terms of what youbelieve is possible for
(03:33):
yourself.
Then these things can be big orthey can be small, but this is
an episode that's worthlistening to.
If 2025 is a year when youreally are trying to go out
there and do something big, thisis a way to tackle it from the
outside in Super, super powerful.
So enjoy this episode on makingchanges from the outside in.
(03:59):
I typically focus on lastingchange.
That is, mindset based Thingslike how do you minimize the
self doubt for good, how do youbuild self-confidence and
maintain it?
How do you go after big, boldnew things and get them and keep
them?
That all comes from the insideout.
(04:21):
So that's most of what mybusiness focuses on, and when I
say from the inside out, I'mreally talking about thoughts
and beliefs, your mindset, sothe things that we think drive
how we feel, and how we feel,whether good or bad, is what
(04:43):
inspires us to take the actionswe either take or don't take,
and what we don't do is just asimportant as what we do, and
it's those two things what we doand don't do that ultimately
create the results in our life.
So when people say our thoughtsbecome things, that's really
what it is.
It's not this magical.
(05:05):
I have a positive thought andeverything in my life is
suddenly amazing.
It isn't that so much, as it isthe fact that your thoughts set
everything into motion.
And if your thoughts are comingfrom a place that doesn't serve
you, if you're saying mean andnasty and toxic things to
(05:27):
yourself, whether you realize itor it's running subconsciously,
you're going to feel like crap,and when you feel like crap,
you're not going to do thingsthat serve you.
You're either going to avoidthings that serve you or you're
going to do a whole bunch ofthings that don't serve you.
You're either going to avoidthings that serve you or you're
going to do a whole bunch ofthings that don't serve you, and
(05:47):
it's going to deliver resultsin your life that you don't want
.
So I spend most of my timetalking about that, and I do
think it's important becausethat is how we change our life.
If we want to change our life,it starts with changing how
we're thinking about ourselves,about others, about the world,
(06:12):
about our possibilities, aboutour self-worth all of it.
However, today I want to talkabout the complete opposite.
I want to talk about the valueof changing from the outside in
Now.
I talked about it a little bitin episode 107, and so I'll
(06:35):
repeat it here because I thinkit's really important.
True lasting change comes fromthe inside out, by changing how
we think and practicing thatdiscipline of thought over time
until they become beliefs,forming that new lens of beliefs
that you put on the world.
That is where long-term lastingchange comes from.
(06:58):
But sometimes, in order to getthe inspiration or the
motivation or to be able tochannel the near term belief to
take the leap of faith tobelieve that something you
really want but maybe you don'tquite believe is possible for
(07:22):
you, sometimes the best way inthe moment, a short term way, to
channel that inspiration andthat flash of belief, is by
changing some things from theoutside, in meaning the tangible
(07:42):
, visible aspects of your life.
It could be as simple as freshflowers on the desk to change
your state of mind.
It could be cleaning out thedesk and making it neat and tidy
to give you a sense of focusand purpose.
(08:04):
That can be a way.
There can be other ways thatyou do to your persona.
Changing a hairstyle, putting adifferent lens on how you dress
Doesn't have to be expensive,but putting things together in a
more thoughtful way.
All of those things aretangible ways that you can start
(08:30):
to believe that your world oryou is in fact changing.
Sometimes we look at the outsidein thing and I know I hardly
ever talk about this, but I wasthinking about the other day.
I was talking to a client aboutit.
She's someone who's alreadyvery successful but she just
(08:53):
wants very much to push throughfrom an executive director which
is like in her company there'sthree levels of directors is
director, senior director,executive director and you have
to directors.
Is director, senior director,executive director and you have
to.
It's from executive director toVP.
That's her big next leap up andshe's wanted it and she's been
(09:18):
shortlisted.
You know she's almost gotten itand then not like she's just
dying to finally get to the nextlevel and she's doing all the
things but she has a lot ofself-doubt about whether she's
going to actually be able to getit and she's finding it hard to
(09:38):
believe that anything's reallygoing to be different this time,
because she's, in her mind,languished at this level for
four or five years.
She feels like this is it.
She's hit her glass ceiling andwe actually did two sessions
this past week because she'sreally trying to dive deep on it
(10:00):
and one of the things that Itold her that she took away and
came back to me a couple of dayslater and said wow, like when
you said it, I thought it wasvery superficial and it wasn't
going to work.
And she said I feel completelydifferent.
(10:20):
She said it was like I put on anew persona.
And what I told her to do is, Isaid look, in those moments of
self-doubt you have to find away to look in the mirror and
say I believe this time it'sgoing to be different because,
(10:42):
fill in the blank, and it's fineto have a thought about that,
but it's a lot easier to believeit's true in the moment If
there's a tangible thing thatyou can point to that has
actually changed.
And that's what I'm talkingabout.
(11:03):
So when we talk about changingfrom the outside in.
That's about changing somethingtangible in your world and,
depending on what you're tryingto do in your life, what goal
you're trying to go after, whatyou would change from the
outside in would look different.
(11:24):
But the tangible thing iswhat's going to help you
understand that this time it canpotentially be different.
It's also proof to yourselfthat you can show up or do
things in a different way.
It's very important and I willrelate it to my own life.
(11:46):
I actually had a trip plannedwith a couple of my girlfriends
and it was semi-spoiler moment,like we only planned it probably
a couple of three weeks ago andit sounded great at the time.
I haven't seen them in personfor a while and a quick
girlfriend's trip to Floridasounded like just what the
doctor ordered.
(12:06):
However, as the time approached, I just wasn't in the mood.
I'm running a business, I havea demanding job in corporate
America.
It's just a lot of life goingon right, and as the day was
approaching, I was like I don'twant to go, you know, and I even
(12:27):
texted her.
I said I really I want tocancel.
I want to see you guys, but Ijust I want to cancel and I said
, I just haven't done it yet.
And she said something to methat really stuck with me.
She's like I know you do and Iunderstand why, but this will be
(12:49):
really good for you.
And I read that and I thoughtabout my coaching client who
wants to get promoted and justdidn't really believe that
anything was going to bedifferent or whatever.
And that text from my friendmade me remember a promise I had
(13:09):
made to myself this is going tobe a very different year.
I'm going to show updifferently in, especially my
personal life.
And it was interesting when shesaid that to me I thought
instantly of my client and theadvice I gave to my client and I
told myself you're going.
The common thread there is if Iwant my life to be different, I
(13:34):
have to be a different person.
I have to get out there andstart living again.
It's time to start committingto the fun things that I want to
do in my life again, the funthings that I want to do in my
life again.
And it's really easy to getinto the habits that we get into
.
Like with my client who wants toget promoted, we started
(13:56):
talking about what would thatmean to change from the outside
in and at first she balked at itand I get it because it can
sound really superficial.
She's like what do you mean?
Like I need to go get a haircut, you know?
And I was like maybe.
But I said it could be assimple as a new pair of shoes.
(14:17):
It could be as simple as doingmore accessorizing of your
outfits.
It could be as simple asstyling your hair differently.
Or it could be astransformative as, hey, I
haven't invested in clothessince before the pandemic.
Let me go out and refresh mywardrobe, if you have the
resources to do that.
Like, it can be as small or asbig as you feel you personally
(14:42):
need.
But the point is for her.
What she told me was sheactually went out and she hired
a stylist and she said, hey, Ineed to do a wardrobe refresh
for winter and here's my budget.
And it was something that shefelt was comfortable for her.
And by the time she got to thestore, the lady had her stuff
(15:04):
ready and she tried it on, onand she bought a good percentage
of it, which she said this issomething I haven't, I don't
think, ever done.
Usually, I'm like orderingonline and nothing ever goes
together.
And what she said was shecommitted to it?
She did it and for the nextweek before we met again, she
(15:27):
said she felt different.
She felt she was beingdifferent, she was showing up
different and, whether it's trueor not, her perception was
people responded to herdifferently the same people that
she works with every day andhas worked with every day for
years.
She felt we're maybe listeningto her more in meetings or
(15:52):
talking to her differently orresponding to her differently,
and what we talked about isthat's probably true.
Because you felt different, youfelt put together, you felt
like a next level version ofyourself.
So you were doing what I said inepisode number 107.
(16:15):
You were being someone newbecause you changed some
tangible ways about how you wereshowing up and that caused you
to think differently aboutyourself when you looked at
yourself in the mirror andbecause of those thoughts that
(16:36):
created emotions in you thatthen caused you to show up in a
more confident manner and peopleresponding to you.
So it wasn't necessarily thenew outfit.
It was how you felt aboutyourself when you saw yourself
in the new outfit, and themindset and the emotions and the
(16:58):
actions that created is whatothers were responding to.
So I know a lot of times wetalk about dressing or dress for
success and it's so easy todismiss that it's like, listen,
that's just an outer veneer, andI would never focus there 100%,
(17:19):
because I really do believethat lasting change comes from
the inside out.
But what I know for sure isthat when we want to go after
something new, especially ifit's something that we don't
really think is going to happenlike no matter how hard we work,
(17:41):
we just don't think we're goingto get there, maybe because
we've tried and failed, or wejust don't think it's meant for
us, but it's something we really, really want.
When that's the case, it can bevery helpful to start changing
or tweaking some aspects of yourouter life, like, for example,
(18:05):
let's just say one of your goalsis to be more organized,
procrastinate less.
One of the external things thatyou might do to help with that
is take a look at your desk athome, if that's where you work,
or at work.
Take a look at the organizationof your inbox, your file system
(18:27):
.
Is your desktop full of randomfiles that you can never find
anything, or do you have anorganized way of keeping
information that you need readyaccess to?
That's one of the ways that youif you have an issue with
procrastination or productivityor something like that could
(18:48):
have a tangible reason tobelieve this time you're going
to be able to make this stick.
You're going to be able to undothat underserving performance
pattern that you have.
So those are the things that I'mtalking about and, again, I'm
not a huge fan of focusing allyour energy there.
(19:11):
I don't personally believe thatpays dividends over time.
But I 100% believe that whenyou want to go do something big
and new, big and new you need togive yourself some tangible
(19:35):
proof that this time things aregoing to be different, and the
best way to do that is, yes,keep working on your mindset,
keep working on aligning thethoughts that you have with the
emotions and the actions that'lllead you towards that goal.
But do not be afraid to starttweaking depending on what your
(19:55):
goal is, some of the aspects ofyour outer world Clean the car,
clean the desk, freshen thewardrobe, get a haircut, change
something that makes you look inthe mirror and believe that
(20:15):
this time you're showing up as aperson who will have that thing
, that small little gesture thatyou make in tweaking your outer
being or environment.
It's maybe not you personally,it might be your house, maybe
(20:39):
your car, whatever it is, mightbe your desktop organization,
whatever it is, that can be thething that makes you believe.
That makes you believe.
No, this is not like all myother trials and failures.
This time I have my back.
(21:00):
This time I'm showing updifferently.
This time I believe it becauseI'm being someone new, so I
wanted to hit on that today.
It's a little bit shorterepisode, but I think it's really
powerful.
I know for my client it reallyfor her, it was like putting on
a new persona, one that shereally needed.
Not that that has anything todo with why they should or
(21:26):
shouldn't promote her, but thething is now, instead of deeply
believing that she's hit theglass ceiling and that the thing
that she wants, that vicepresident level, is out of her
reach, now she believes no, I'malready showing up like the vice
president and people areresponding to me in a different
(21:49):
way, and it's only a matter oftime before that falls into
place.
Like for her, that outer beingshift, that investment she made
in how she dresses herself andputs herself together for her
workday, has been something thatlocked a new thought pattern
(22:15):
into place, something she's beenworking on but couldn't quite
make permanent, and now shealmost feels like she has
already become the vicepresident.
It's just the title hasn't yetarrived and I 100% believe that
it's on its way.
Not because she's magicallybringing something into being,
(22:39):
it's because she's alreadyshowing up that way and when we
believe something that hard,something that hard, then the
rest of the universe just locksinto place around that.
That's how it works and,energetically, that's what's
happening in her life.
And, like for me, I promisedmyself this was going to be a
(23:01):
different year and every aspectof my being.
Yes, I wanted to see my friends.
Yes, it's been a long time, butthe idea of getting on that
plane at 6 AM in the morning, Ijust thought I cannot do it, you
know.
But when she said that to meand I thought about my client
(23:21):
and my advice, I thought youknow what?
I have to give myself tangibleproof that this year I'm showing
up for myself in a differentway and I'm sure it's going to
be an amazing weekend and that'sa proof point for myself that
I'm hanging on to.
To say no, I get to decide somefun things.
(23:45):
Put them on the schedule andthose things I'm going to go do.
I'm not going to cancel onmyself, and this trip this
weekend is my first proof pointthat this year I'm going to
change what my life looks like,how I think about, how I spend
my free time, and it's not justabout hunkering down.
(24:06):
It's also about my connectionsto the people that matter to me
and making the efforts bygetting on the plane at 6am to
go see them, versus doing theeasy thing and just staying put.
So that's what I'm talkingabout.
It's fine to do the long-termwork, and I want you to do the
long-term work because thatthought work and the
(24:27):
self-coaching is where it's atwhen it comes to long-term,
lasting change.
But sometimes you need to lookat the things that you want to
go do and you need to look atyour level of belief in your
ability to do them, and if itisn't quite there, I would
(24:50):
challenge you.
Look at your life, look atyourself, your persona, look at
your surroundings, your habits,your manner of talking, the way
you interact with it, whateverit is.
Look at your way of being andask yourself what are a couple
of things that I could do toprove to myself that I am being
(25:17):
someone new, that when you lookin the mirror you see someone
different.
You see someone that's moreconfident, someone that's more
determined, someone that'sshowing up as that next level
thing that you actually want theorganized person, the thinner
person, the more successfulperson.
(25:39):
I know it sounds superficial andI don't want it to come off
that way, because there's waymore to life than how we look or
the car we drive or the placewe live.
But sometimes little touches,little spots of beauty in your
world, little tweaks in yourbeing, little differences in
(26:03):
your habits and the ways youshow up for yourself and for
others can be the proof that youneed to believe that this time
it's going to be different.
I want you to try it.
Look at your world and see whatcould I tweak today that would
prove to myself that I amshowing up differently for
(26:29):
myself and for the things that Iwant to achieve this year.
So have a think about that andgive that a try, because I know
that when you do, it is going tohelp catapult you forward in
terms of your belief that thethings that you want this year
are not only possible but rightaround the corner.
(26:53):
So with that, I'll leave youtill next time.
Make it a great week.
My friends, do you have a lifecoach?
If not, I'd be so honored to beyour coach.
(27:15):
I've created a virtual coachingprogram and monthly membership
called Next Level.
Inside we take the material youhear on this podcast, study it
and then apply it.
Join me at the purposefulcareercom backslash next level.
Don't forget the the purposefulcareercom backslash next level.
(27:39):
Join me and together we'll makeyour career in life Everything
you dream of.
We'll see you there.
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