December 15, 2024 • 35 mins
Do you often find yourself in supporting roles rather than taking center stage? Discover how to channel "leading lady energy" to become the star in your own story.
Drawing wisdom from "The Holiday" and the charming interaction between Iris, played by Kate Winslet, and the insightful Arthur, we'll explore the transformative power of gumption and self-assurance.
Whether you're an introvert hesitant to step into the spotlight or simply seeking more confidence in personal and professional settings, this episode offers practical insights into assessing your comfort zones and making necessary changes to truly shine.
In your career journey, resilience and self-worth are crucial to thriving amidst setbacks, much like the strong leading ladies of classic cinema. Learn how to demand the roles and opportunities you deserve by commanding presence and negotiating effectively. We'll discuss parallels between the entertainment industry and corporate life, encouraging you to know your worth and pursue paths aligned with your true value.
Channel your inner leading lady to confidently overcome obstacles and seize the opportunities that come your way, ensuring you are always the protagonist of your own story, without tipping into self-centeredness.
Follow us on Instagram @thepurposefulcareer.
Learn more about Next Level, our monthly membership at https://www.thepurposefulcareer.com/nextlevel.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the Purposeful Career Podcast,
episode number 210.
I'm Carla Hudson, brandstrategist, entrepreneur and
life coach.
Whether you're on the corporateor entrepreneur track, or maybe
both, decades of experience hastaught me that creating success
happens from the inside out.
(00:21):
It's about having the clarity,self-confidence and unstoppable
belief to go after and geteverything you want.
If you'll come with me, I'llshow you how.
Hello friends, I hope you hadan amazing week.
This week's episode is a goodone.
(00:41):
We are going to talk about whatdoes it mean to play the lead
role in your life, to bring thatenergy to everything that you
do, to your career, to yourfamily, to your friends, to the
activities that you're involvedin, and we're calling it leading
lady energy.
It's inspired by one of myfavorite holiday movies, which
(01:03):
I'll talk about in the course ofthe episode, but the main crux
of it is what does it mean tostop playing small, to stop
playing a bit part or the partthat other people want to assign
to you, and instead to say hereI am, at this place in my life
(01:24):
and this is who I am, and I'mgoing to bring my best version
of that to center stage in everypart of my life, and I don't
know about you, but there'vebeen time periods in my life
where I feel like I've playedsmall and I don't want to do
that anymore, and so when I waswatching one of my favorite
holiday movies and there was ascene on there and they were
(01:45):
talking about what does it meanto be the leading lady of your
own life, I thought it wasreally interesting, and so I'm
going to offer you up some waysthat famous actresses step into
center stage confidently andwith ease, because I'd love to
see each of us do that every dayin our own lives.
(02:07):
So enjoy this episode onleading lady energy.
Today, I want to talk aboutsomething that is inspired by
one of my favorite holidaymovies.
Tis the Season, right.
So I've already watched LoveActually twice, but the scene
that I'm talking about is notfrom Love Actually, which is
(02:29):
probably my favorite holidaymovie, but it is from my very
close second favorite holidaymovie, which is called the
Holiday.
It has Cameron Diaz, kateWinslet, jude Law, jack Black.
It was from the mid 2000s and Ilove that movie, so if you
haven't seen it after thisepisode, hopefully you'll be
(02:50):
inspired to go see it, becauseit's really charming and I think
you'll enjoy it, butspecifically, I want to talk
about what I'm calling leadinglady energy.
Of course, if you're not awoman, you're a man.
Same thing applies, leading manenergy.
It's inspired by a scene fromthat woman.
You're a man, same thingapplies, leading man energy.
It's inspired by a scene fromthat movie.
It's a Nancy Meyers movie, whichI love her, but it's about this
(03:13):
woman who's from London and sheworks in the publishing
industry, and she's had thislong standing crush on a
coworker, and I guess they'vebeen romantically involved at
points.
It's an unrequited love.
He's a playboy enjoying hissingleness, and he uses Iris's
(03:33):
affections as a crutch to makehim feel better when he's not
doing so well himself, but hedoesn't really feel about her
the way she feels about him, andso she takes a two week holiday
and leaves London and does somekind of a home exchange with
Cameron Diaz's character, who ishaving similar romantic issues,
(03:55):
and they switch places.
So Cameron goes to London, kateWinslet's character goes to Los
Angeles, and while KateWinslet's character is in Los
Angeles, she meets Jack Black,who becomes a romantic interest
for her, and interestingly,though, is the relationship that
she forms with the next doorneighbor.
(04:17):
That's Cameron Diaz's next doorneighbor and he's an older
gentleman, probably supposed tobe in his 80s-ish, maybe a
little older, and they becomevery friendly and she takes him
to dinner one night early intheir acquaintance and I want to
talk to you about the dialoguethey have.
It's just a couple of minutesbut it's the premise for what I
(04:39):
want to talk about in thisepisode.
So the older gentleman talkabout in this episode.
So the older gentleman.
They're sitting in thisrestaurant and Iris is telling
him her story of her unrequitedlove and they have this
conversation where Arthur theolder gentleman says to her Iris
in the movies we have leadingladies and we have the best
(05:00):
friend.
You, I can tell, are a leadinglady, but for some reason you're
behaving like you're the bestfriend.
And Ira says you're so right,you're supposed to be the
leading lady of your own life.
For God's sake and I won't gointo the rest of the scene you
can either watch the movie foryourself or there's little
(05:22):
snippets.
You could find that sceneprobably on YouTube.
It is such a charming andpoignant scene and he's talking
to her about something that forhis generation was probably a
word that was used a lot.
I don't hear it a lot thesedays.
Maybe you do, but he'sbasically talking to her about
what she needs is gumption, andhe's talking about all of these
(05:44):
leading ladies of the past andsome of these movies from the
earlier days of cinema, and hegives her this little watch list
to go rent these movies andstart to channel or model
leading lady energy, as I wouldput it.
He wants her to show somegumption in her own life and
stop taking the crap from theguy who's not treating her right
(06:07):
.
It's very charming, but I wantto talk for a minute about the
definition of gumption and thenwe'll dive in, because it's not
a word I use a lot and you canget the sense that it's about
being a little feisty orwhatever.
But I wanted to look up likewhat is actually meant by that
and so I checked various sources.
(06:28):
It can range from being aboutshowing some initiative, showing
some enterprise.
The Cambridge EnglishDictionary describes it as the
ability to decide what's thebest thing to do in a particular
situation and to do it with theenergy and determination it
requires.
I think that's a really greatdefinition.
Dictionarycom describes it asinitiative, resourcefulness.
(06:54):
It also says aggressiveness,but I would change that to
assertiveness.
I don't love the wordaggressive.
I think it takes a dark turn.
Assertiveness is great Courage,spunk, guts or some other words
, backbone, grit, guts, moxie,fortitude, strength of mind,
things like that.
So that's all fromvocabularycom.
(07:17):
So you can see that, asArthur's telling her, gumption
is a really good thing to have.
And my question for you as wewalk through this episode, I'm
going to give you five ways thata leading lady channels that
leading lady energy.
That's interesting to look at,both because my inspiration for
(07:40):
this episode came from the movie, but also right now I'm working
in the entertainment field, inthe movie industry.
That's my latest corporate gigand I'm loving it because I love
the movies.
So it just seemed appropriateto talk about leading lady
energy.
When you listen to this episodeand these five things, I want
you to have the definition ofgumption in the back of your
(08:02):
mind and ask yourself how wellare you channeling those words
that embody what gumption meansin your own career or, honestly,
any aspect of your life?
Maybe, like Iris, the characterin the movie, you have romantic
issues, or maybe they'reshowing up in other
relationships in other ways, ormaybe it's just you're not
(08:25):
stepping into your fullestpotential in either your
corporate career or the businessthat you run.
This leading lady energyproblem can show up for any of
us leading lady energy.
So, number one obviously theleading lady is comfortable
(08:53):
taking center stage, right, sheis not someone who doesn't know
how to embrace stepping into thelimelight.
She's always in the limelight,she's always being interviewed.
She goes on those the limelight, she's always being interviewed
.
She goes on those press junketswhere she's promoting the movie
.
And if she's a stage actress,she understands exactly how to
(09:14):
step center stage when thelights go down and every eye in
the auditorium is looking at herand she is perfectly
comfortable taking that role inthe production.
This is one that I, as alifelong introvert, have
challenges with.
Sometimes Some folks who knowme would be like, really I don't
know about that, but it is trueand I think folks who've known
(09:37):
me for a very long time wouldsay that, even though there's
one part of me that likes beingcenter stage and likes being the
leader, and likes being able toexpress their opinion and
having others look to them forthe expression of the opinion.
Sometimes it's a struggle, I'mnot going to lie, but not for
the leading lady.
Like she's looking for thatspotlight.
(10:00):
There's something inside of her, a self-belief, a knowing about
what her destiny is, about whatshe truly wants.
And so she doesn't shy awayfrom the spotlight, she commands
it and she steps into thatenergy and puts on that persona.
Night after night, performanceafter performance, scene after
(10:24):
scene, she's in the energy andfully embodying the leading lady
and the character in that roleor in that production.
That is what she's doing, andthe analogy for you is how are
you stepping into center stagein your life?
Stepping into center stage inyour life, or are you hiding
(10:46):
from it?
Are you shying away?
Maybe you're doing it fine inone area.
Maybe you're totallycomfortable in your career,
totally comfortable steppinginto that role, taking up that
mantle.
You know, being confident inwho you are.
But there's other places inyour life where maybe not so
much, maybe it's in the romanticarea we've had a couple of bad
(11:08):
experiences and you're just notcomfortable doing it again.
Or maybe in your career youused to be totally comfortable
and then something happened thatjarred you a little bit or
pulled the rug out.
Maybe you got laid off ordownsized or something like that
happened and it forced you torethink whether or not you were
(11:31):
actually good at what you do,and so now you find yourself on
the periphery, afraid to fullystep in to your true power in
your role, and this can happentoo, depending on the culture
you're in.
I've found that there are somecultures that I feel totally
comfortable in, and there areother cultures, I would say
(11:53):
those that are more mired downin corporate politics and have
very strong old school sort ofpower structures.
I don't like those kinds ofcultures for me.
They don't work well for me andI'll do it.
But it's much more exhaustingfor me to go center stage and
they don't tend to work out wellfor me.
(12:14):
I'm not happy usually when I'min that.
So sometimes it can be the vibeof a place that keeps you from
really being comfortable takingcenter stage as you think this
through for yourself.
That's a good thing to know, andmaybe it's something that you
haven't been in touch with uptill now.
So if you're in a place thatyou don't feel safe or you don't
(12:39):
like the vibe of the place, youdon't trust the people that
work around you, it might be agood time to start thinking
about a pivot, and if that's howyou feel about it, I don't
think you can change somethinglike that just by changing how
you think about it.
I know I'm all in on thecognitive behavioral therapy
(13:01):
approach to coaching, butthoughts of behavioral therapy
approach to coaching.
But thoughts don't alwayschange things the way we need
them to and the culture of aplace or the energy of the
people around you.
You can't really change thatright.
But what you can know aboutyourself is how you feel when
you're in that, whether you canchange the way you function in
that and make yourself okay andat your strongest in that.
(13:24):
And if you can't, it's a goodtime to change your circumstance
, like change your job, put somethought into it, find a place
that works better for you.
So that's number one is that aleading lady is totally
comfortable center stage withthe spotlight on her in those
(13:45):
moments where it's necessary.
So I'm not saying you're anarcissist and always
everything's about you, but I'mjust saying that is a place
where, if you're trulychanneling leading lady energy,
you just need to be comfortablebeing center stage.
So that's number one.
Number two a leading lady isconfident in her delivery and
(14:07):
the delivery of her lines.
If you want to take it to amovie production, she's clear,
she knows her lines, she'sprepared right and she's very
confident in how she deliversthem, with all of the nuances
necessary to embody thatcharacter.
So if we take this over intoyour life and we think about if
(14:31):
you're in the corporate arena,how comfortable are you speaking
up about issues, opportunities,ideas you have?
How comfortable are youspeaking up in meetings where
things might not be going wellright?
How confident are you in thatrole?
(14:53):
Because if you're trulychanneling leading lady energy,
you would be confident no matterwhat, no matter where anyone
else's head is at.
There's always room in everyroom for someone who's clear,
who's well-informed and who'sconfident to speak up, because
(15:16):
those are the people who cansolve the problems, those are
the people who can stop theswirl and, honestly, those are
the people that get promotedright.
People notice, even if theydon't love, that you're taking
the vibe of a room that's stuckand everyone's feeding off of
this victim mentality.
(15:37):
Sometimes, when someone stepsforward and suggests a solution
that can solve it, there's acertain percentage of the room
that is happy about that andthere's also a percentage of the
room that thinks who's thislittle bossy pants right?
Why is she so sure that she'sgot all the answers to our
problems and some people don'tlike to have the problem solved.
(16:00):
They like to stay stuck, andthere's certain corporate
cultures where they're stuck,cultures where things don't move
forward right.
I have been in a few of those,so it's not fun.
And when you're in one of thoserooms and you're trying to keep
the ball moving down the courtor down the field, you know
people can look at you and thinkwho does she think she is?
But when you do it from a placeof truly trying to move things
(16:26):
forward and you're doing it inan appropriate yet very
confident way, it gets noticedright.
Same thing in your business Likeif you've got your own business
and you accept a speakingengagement, you need to step
center stage.
Are you dreading that?
(16:46):
Or are you like in number one,comfortable stepping center
stage and two, confident in yourdelivery?
That's the thing.
Or if your thing is an onlinebusiness and you're doing these
Facebook lives, are youconfident?
Are you sitting in thatconfidence on your video while
you're talking to your targetaudience?
(17:07):
That is important and you canchannel that confidence anytime
by making sure that you'reinformed and have a very clear
perspective on the things thatyou want to say and that you own
your ability and your right andhave a strong belief in the
(17:28):
fact that the things that youshare can help people or a
situation move forward.
So that is about channelingthat leading lady energy,
confidence, which we're talkingabout in number two.
That's how you do it Like youare not shying away from those
situations.
You're not standing on thesidelines watching the
(17:52):
unfortunate things unfold in themeeting.
You are stepping forward andyou realize that, even if things
don't go well the first timethat you'll run at it again and
again because you have a strongbelief and confidence in who you
are and in your ideas.
So that's number two.
Number three you know how tocommand a stage, and this is
(18:16):
different than being comfortablein the spotlight.
Number three knowing how tocommand a stage is the energy
you bring with you when youenter a room, and I have had
some rooms where I do it welland I've had other rooms where I
don't not comfortable there.
Right, and I just want tosubmit to you even if you're in
(18:39):
a place where, at work, maybeyou're not totally comfortable
with the vibe of the place,while my recommendation stands,
if you're in a culture, thatjust doesn't work for you and it
drains your energy every dayand you feel not quite at your
best all the time.
(19:00):
I'm a big fan of changing theenvironment.
You can't change the vibe of aculture as one person, but this
is the caveat to that Whileyou're looking for your thing,
while you're still there, ifyou're channeling the leading
lady energy, you still need tohave a presence about you, the
(19:24):
leading lady energy presence.
You need to be able to walk intoa room, even a tough room, even
a room where there might besome bullets flying.
You've got to command thatstage and you know it when you
see it.
If you've seen other people manor woman walk into a room and
people just sit up a littlestraighter, they notice, they're
(19:44):
drawn to that person.
They're a force, a leading lady.
She's a force.
When she walks into the room,people notice she acts boldly,
she speaks confidently, shestands tall, she carries herself
in a certain way, she stands alittle straighter, she pulls her
(20:05):
package together.
She doesn't just throw anythingon and haphazardly apply her
makeup and select her jewelry.
She's put together and you canbe that no matter where you're
at in your life.
And I will tell you that whenyou do that, it makes you feel
better.
It makes you stand a littletaller.
It makes you carry yourselfdifferently when you treat
(20:29):
yourself like you matter.
It may not be the right placefor you.
You may not be thrilled aboutwalking into a room where, in
five minutes, bullets are goingto be flying, maybe in your
direction, but you can still sittall, have a good presence in
the room and make eye contact.
Look people in the eye.
Drop your shoulders down, don'tbe all scrunched up.
(20:53):
Open your body language up tothe room, no matter how many
bullets are flying, and beconfident saying what you're
saying, even if you know thatit's not going to be.
Maybe at least on the firstpass, adopted welcome opinion.
It doesn't matter.
Carry yourself like you're aforce.
You know how to command a stage, and that room in your
(21:26):
corporate life is your stage,and that Facebook live or
Instagram live in your businessif you're also running a
business or if you run thatinstead of being in corporate,
that is your stage.
Stand tall, speak clearly, lookthe camera in the eye, look the
people in the eye and know thatyou're saying something, you're
(21:48):
delivering something that'simportant, that's well-informed
and that you're very confidentabout.
So that is number three, thatyou know how to command a stage.
Number four this is important.
If you look at leading ladiesacross their acting career
listen, if you've read anystories on Meryl Streep, on
(22:10):
Jennifer Aniston, on any of themthey know how to roll with the
setbacks.
It is an unkind industry, Ithink, for men and women, but
probably especially women, andanyone who's been in the
limelight knows how to roll withit right, not only during the
(22:31):
good times, not only whenthey're in the amazing movie and
getting all the great press andon the covers of all the
magazines.
But they know how to deal withrejection.
They know how to deal withcasting directors who are
telling them you need to lose 15pounds, even if they really
don't, or you look too old forthe role or whatever mean things
(22:54):
they get told, and they do gettold many mean things in that
industry because it's a lotabout their visual persona.
It's about way more than that.
But that's the first gate andit would be devastating to just
hear rejection after rejection.
I read an article on JenniferAniston at the beginning of her
career and I guess she was toldreally mean things that she just
(23:15):
was too heavy and all that kindof stuff, and while that's not
necessarily helpful and eventrue, it's part of that industry
, so I'm not really trying tomake a comment on that.
What I am saying, though, ismore from her perspective, she
could have just quit right.
She could have said there'snothing wrong with me because
there wasn't.
She could have gone into adifferent part of the
(23:36):
entertainment industry not infront of the camera, or she
could have done anything elsewith her life, because she seems
like a really smart person andall that kind of stuff.
But she didn't.
She wanted to do what she did,and so she stayed with it, and
she dusted herself off, and shedid casting call after casting
call, and then she, of course,won the friends thing, but that
(23:59):
changed her entire life.
And now look at her.
She's now in her early fiftiesand she's still doing amazing
things, like I love her morningshow on Apple Like she just
never stops.
So my point here is that, forany leading ladies that have had
any type of career of longevity, or just even anyone who puts
themselves out there in any wayin that industry, I have to say
(24:23):
they're very gritty andresilient.
It takes self-belief, it takesgumption.
Listen to those words likebackbone, grit, guts, moxie,
spunk, courage.
That's what gumption embodiesand we all need that.
Think about your own life.
If you're someone who maybe isstruggling right now in your
(24:44):
career, maybe you're in one ofthese firms that has downsized
through no fault of your own andyou find yourself questioning
yourself like your own value,your own self-worth, and whether
or not, if you're of a certainage, at midlife, whether you'll
find another role that's as goodas the one you're in.
You have to channel thatgumption, that leading lady
(25:07):
energy that actresses have tohave and actors, I guess, too.
You're going to get rejection.
It might take you 50 interviewsbefore you get the yes.
You're going to have to contendwith failure in your career.
Even if you are a lady, you'regoing to have to deal with a bad
(25:28):
performance, like someactresses do.
You might be a great actress,but, like I watched, I can't
remember what it was.
I watched a Meryl Streep moviefrom back in the nineties and it
was not good and I don't thinkI would have ever said that
about a Meryl Streep movie.
It wasn't even a well-knownmovie it was about I can't
remember the name of it now, butit was about something about
(25:48):
her son was accused ofcommitting a murder of his
girlfriend.
It turns out it was all anaccident, but it was a bad
performance and a bad movie andyet she came back from that to
do many other Oscar winningthings.
So you have to roll with it is.
The lesson to take from theleading ladies is that they know
(26:10):
how to deal with setbacks andrejection and a bad performance
or failure.
And they still get up and theydo it again because they love
what they do and they believe inthemselves and they know that
next time is a good time to showthat they actually are a
world-class actress and they aredetermined.
No matter what flop they justmight've come out with, the
(26:32):
commercial flop, the next moviecan have them on the Oscar stage
.
So that's leading lady energy.
You know how to deal withsetbacks, rejection and failure.
That's number four and numberfive.
A leading lady knows her worthand asks for what she wants.
In the entertainment industry,I would imagine that is about
(26:56):
not only going for the big role,not shying away from it like if
you're just coming off of afailure or a rejection, like
you're throwing your hat back inthe ring and you believe that
you have the ability to bringthat home to get the offer, to
get the role.
Knowing your worth is aboutnegotiating well, Like granted,
(27:17):
she has the benefit of doingthat through an agent, whereas
those of us in corporate usuallydon't.
If you're in the higher ranks,I know some executives have
hired attorneys to do theircontract negotiation for them,
but most of us don't have that.
We have to do it ourselves.
But still, do you accept thefirst offer, do you accept the
lowball offer or do you say no,like?
(27:38):
I've done my research.
I know what people in this getpaid in general in the
marketplace.
I know what they're payingother people at that position in
a range and I'm going to demandmore because I know I can and I
know I'm worth it.
Right, you ask for what you want.
If you are outperformingeveryone at work and you know it
and your boss knows it andyou've had some of those roles
(28:01):
but you're still not getting theproactive promotion.
If you're coming up, like manypeople are on review season,
now's the time to startpositioning yourself and asking
for what you want.
You may not get it, but thereis no harm in asking.
And that's about telling yourstory, that's about owning your
(28:22):
narrative.
That's about honestly, knowingyour value, your strengths and
your weaknesses and comparingyourself in a dispassionate way
to those who are also at yourlevel who's delivering the most
value on the most consistentbasis and looking at that next
level up and saying how close amI to that?
(28:43):
Not in a self-delusional way,but in as accurate a way as you
can.
And if we all put our ego aside, we're all capable of looking
at a situation realistically.
But even if you're told no, youstill need to know and own your
self-worth.
You still need to know and ownyour self-worth.
If your company doesn't seethat in you but you truly have
(29:05):
done the math and done thecomparisons and you see it in
you, you're ready for that nextlevel, then there's no harm.
If you've asked and they'vesaid no, not this year or no, I
don't see you ever in that.
It's time maybe to startlooking at a different company,
(29:25):
one where you really can bringyour full force and receive the
full benefit for doing that.
And that is about just neverwavering, never letting a
previous disappointment or aprevious poor performance on
your part permanently keep youon the sidelines.
This is about knowing yourworth relative to your peers and
(29:53):
asking for what you want andnot being afraid to do that.
So those are five ways that youcan channel leading lady energy
.
I just want to run throughthose really quick again.
Number one the leading lady iscomfortable center stage so she
does not shy from the spotlight.
(30:14):
Number two she knows her lines,so she's prepared would be the
analogy and she's clear andconfident in her delivery of
those lines.
That's you and your role incorporate right or your business
.
Number three she knows how tocommand a stage.
So this is about her presenceand the way she carries herself
(30:37):
and the way she enters a roomand the way she expresses
herself through every part ofher being, not only her eye
contact and her posture, but howshe puts herself together.
You know her style, her mannerof speaking, her tone, all of it
.
That is about commanding astage.
(30:58):
Be the leading lady.
That's number three.
And number four she knows how todeal with setbacks, or roll
with it, because we all knowlife and career and business
it's a series of highs and lows.
It's not linear.
There's always some kind offork in the road ahead that
we're all having to deal withall the time, and so you just
(31:18):
need to be able to roll with it.
Even if there's adisappointment, a failure, a
setback, rejection, pickyourself up and believe in
yourself and take it in stride.
Don't be afraid to throw yourhat in the ring again for the
next big thing that comes along.
Don't make it mean anythingabout you.
And number five you ask forwhat you want.
(31:40):
A leading lady asks for whatshe wants, even if she's coming
off a failure or a setback orbad performance.
She knows her worth, she standstall in that self-belief and
she's not afraid to ask for whatshe wants, whether it's the big
role or whether it's the bigsalary.
And the same can be true foryou.
(32:00):
So those are the lessons, andit is all summed up in what
Arthur from the movie theHoliday calls gumption the
ability to decide the best thingto do in a particular situation
and have the energy anddetermination to do it.
I want to leave you with onelast thought.
(32:22):
If you were going todemonstrate gumption in your
life, that feeling right, all ofthose words I read off, those
are emotions, and we know thatemotions come from your thoughts
, not from the circumstancesthat you find yourself in.
So if you were going to channelthose words and that emotion,
(32:44):
what kinds of things would youhave to be thinking about
yourself?
That is a very interestingself-coaching exercise that you
could do.
How well are you channelinggumption?
What are the thoughts you havenow and what emotions are they
creating?
And how close are thoseemotions to the gumption words?
(33:05):
How gritty do you feel?
How much backbone do you thinkyou have?
How much moxie do youdemonstrate on a regular basis
fortitude, strength of mind, allof that and then start with
that emotion and say, if I wasgoing to feel that, what would I
have to think about myself?
What would I have to thinkabout myself?
What would I have to believeabout myself?
That's a very interestingreversal and way into what it
(33:29):
would take for you to actuallystep into leading lady energy in
your life.
So the last thing I'll say is ifyou have not watched the
Holiday, please watch it.
It is very charming.
Love Kate Winslet always, butshe's fantastic in this movie
and Jack Black is playingagainst type.
He's actually playing theromantic lead for her and it
(33:52):
works.
They're adorable together.
So it's a very fun, feel goodmovie about a woman who learns
how to step into her power andher life, and she does it
beautifully and you can do thesame.
So with that I'll leave youtill next time.
Make it a great week.
My friends, do you have a lifecoach?
(34:28):
If not, I'd be so honored to beyour coach.
I've created a virtual coachingprogram and monthly membership
called Next Level.
Inside, we take the materialyou hear on this podcast, study
it and then apply it.
Join me at thepurposefulcareercom backslash
next level.
Don't forget the thepurposefulcareercom backslash
(34:50):
next level.
Join me and together we'll makeyour career in life everything
you dream of.
We'll see you there.
This is the Purposeful Career Podcast,
episode number 210.
I'm Carla Hudson, brandstrategist, entrepreneur and
life coach.
Whether you're on the corporateor entrepreneur track, or maybe
both, decades of experience hastaught me that creating success
happens from the inside out.
(00:21):
It's about having the clarity,self-confidence and unstoppable
belief to go after and geteverything you want.
If you'll come with me, I'llshow you how.
Hello friends, I hope you hadan amazing week.
This week's episode is a goodone.
(00:41):
We are going to talk about whatdoes it mean to play the lead
role in your life, to bring thatenergy to everything that you
do, to your career, to yourfamily, to your friends, to the
activities that you're involvedin, and we're calling it leading
lady energy.
It's inspired by one of myfavorite holiday movies, which
(01:03):
I'll talk about in the course ofthe episode, but the main crux
of it is what does it mean tostop playing small, to stop
playing a bit part or the partthat other people want to assign
to you, and instead to say hereI am, at this place in my life
(01:24):
and this is who I am, and I'mgoing to bring my best version
of that to center stage in everypart of my life, and I don't
know about you, but there'vebeen time periods in my life
where I feel like I've playedsmall and I don't want to do
that anymore, and so when I waswatching one of my favorite
holiday movies and there was ascene on there and they were
(01:45):
talking about what does it meanto be the leading lady of your
own life, I thought it wasreally interesting, and so I'm
going to offer you up some waysthat famous actresses step into
center stage confidently andwith ease, because I'd love to
see each of us do that every dayin our own lives.
(02:07):
So enjoy this episode onleading lady energy.
Today, I want to talk aboutsomething that is inspired by
one of my favorite holidaymovies.
Tis the Season, right.
So I've already watched LoveActually twice, but the scene
that I'm talking about is notfrom Love Actually, which is
(02:29):
probably my favorite holidaymovie, but it is from my very
close second favorite holidaymovie, which is called the
Holiday.
It has Cameron Diaz, kateWinslet, jude Law, jack Black.
It was from the mid 2000s and Ilove that movie, so if you
haven't seen it after thisepisode, hopefully you'll be
(02:50):
inspired to go see it, becauseit's really charming and I think
you'll enjoy it, butspecifically, I want to talk
about what I'm calling leadinglady energy.
Of course, if you're not awoman, you're a man.
Same thing applies, leading manenergy.
It's inspired by a scene fromthat woman.
You're a man, same thingapplies, leading man energy.
It's inspired by a scene fromthat movie.
It's a Nancy Meyers movie, whichI love her, but it's about this
(03:13):
woman who's from London and sheworks in the publishing
industry, and she's had thislong standing crush on a
coworker, and I guess they'vebeen romantically involved at
points.
It's an unrequited love.
He's a playboy enjoying hissingleness, and he uses Iris's
(03:33):
affections as a crutch to makehim feel better when he's not
doing so well himself, but hedoesn't really feel about her
the way she feels about him, andso she takes a two week holiday
and leaves London and does somekind of a home exchange with
Cameron Diaz's character, who ishaving similar romantic issues,
(03:55):
and they switch places.
So Cameron goes to London, kateWinslet's character goes to Los
Angeles, and while KateWinslet's character is in Los
Angeles, she meets Jack Black,who becomes a romantic interest
for her, and interestingly,though, is the relationship that
she forms with the next doorneighbor.
(04:17):
That's Cameron Diaz's next doorneighbor and he's an older
gentleman, probably supposed tobe in his 80s-ish, maybe a
little older, and they becomevery friendly and she takes him
to dinner one night early intheir acquaintance and I want to
talk to you about the dialoguethey have.
It's just a couple of minutesbut it's the premise for what I
(04:39):
want to talk about in thisepisode.
So the older gentleman talkabout in this episode.
So the older gentleman.
They're sitting in thisrestaurant and Iris is telling
him her story of her unrequitedlove and they have this
conversation where Arthur theolder gentleman says to her Iris
in the movies we have leadingladies and we have the best
(05:00):
friend.
You, I can tell, are a leadinglady, but for some reason you're
behaving like you're the bestfriend.
And Ira says you're so right,you're supposed to be the
leading lady of your own life.
For God's sake and I won't gointo the rest of the scene you
can either watch the movie foryourself or there's little
(05:22):
snippets.
You could find that sceneprobably on YouTube.
It is such a charming andpoignant scene and he's talking
to her about something that forhis generation was probably a
word that was used a lot.
I don't hear it a lot thesedays.
Maybe you do, but he'sbasically talking to her about
what she needs is gumption, andhe's talking about all of these
(05:44):
leading ladies of the past andsome of these movies from the
earlier days of cinema, and hegives her this little watch list
to go rent these movies andstart to channel or model
leading lady energy, as I wouldput it.
He wants her to show somegumption in her own life and
stop taking the crap from theguy who's not treating her right
(06:07):
.
It's very charming, but I wantto talk for a minute about the
definition of gumption and thenwe'll dive in, because it's not
a word I use a lot and you canget the sense that it's about
being a little feisty orwhatever.
But I wanted to look up likewhat is actually meant by that
and so I checked various sources.
(06:28):
It can range from being aboutshowing some initiative, showing
some enterprise.
The Cambridge EnglishDictionary describes it as the
ability to decide what's thebest thing to do in a particular
situation and to do it with theenergy and determination it
requires.
I think that's a really greatdefinition.
Dictionarycom describes it asinitiative, resourcefulness.
(06:54):
It also says aggressiveness,but I would change that to
assertiveness.
I don't love the wordaggressive.
I think it takes a dark turn.
Assertiveness is great Courage,spunk, guts or some other words
, backbone, grit, guts, moxie,fortitude, strength of mind,
things like that.
So that's all fromvocabularycom.
(07:17):
So you can see that, asArthur's telling her, gumption
is a really good thing to have.
And my question for you as wewalk through this episode, I'm
going to give you five ways thata leading lady channels that
leading lady energy.
That's interesting to look at,both because my inspiration for
(07:40):
this episode came from the movie, but also right now I'm working
in the entertainment field, inthe movie industry.
That's my latest corporate gigand I'm loving it because I love
the movies.
So it just seemed appropriateto talk about leading lady
energy.
When you listen to this episodeand these five things, I want
you to have the definition ofgumption in the back of your
(08:02):
mind and ask yourself how wellare you channeling those words
that embody what gumption meansin your own career or, honestly,
any aspect of your life?
Maybe, like Iris, the characterin the movie, you have romantic
issues, or maybe they'reshowing up in other
relationships in other ways, ormaybe it's just you're not
(08:25):
stepping into your fullestpotential in either your
corporate career or the businessthat you run.
This leading lady energyproblem can show up for any of
us leading lady energy.
So, number one obviously theleading lady is comfortable
(08:53):
taking center stage, right, sheis not someone who doesn't know
how to embrace stepping into thelimelight.
She's always in the limelight,she's always being interviewed.
She goes on those the limelight, she's always being interviewed
.
She goes on those press junketswhere she's promoting the movie
.
And if she's a stage actress,she understands exactly how to
(09:14):
step center stage when thelights go down and every eye in
the auditorium is looking at herand she is perfectly
comfortable taking that role inthe production.
This is one that I, as alifelong introvert, have
challenges with.
Sometimes Some folks who knowme would be like, really I don't
know about that, but it is trueand I think folks who've known
(09:37):
me for a very long time wouldsay that, even though there's
one part of me that likes beingcenter stage and likes being the
leader, and likes being able toexpress their opinion and
having others look to them forthe expression of the opinion.
Sometimes it's a struggle, I'mnot going to lie, but not for
the leading lady.
Like she's looking for thatspotlight.
(10:00):
There's something inside of her, a self-belief, a knowing about
what her destiny is, about whatshe truly wants.
And so she doesn't shy awayfrom the spotlight, she commands
it and she steps into thatenergy and puts on that persona.
Night after night, performanceafter performance, scene after
(10:24):
scene, she's in the energy andfully embodying the leading lady
and the character in that roleor in that production.
That is what she's doing, andthe analogy for you is how are
you stepping into center stagein your life?
Stepping into center stage inyour life, or are you hiding
(10:46):
from it?
Are you shying away?
Maybe you're doing it fine inone area.
Maybe you're totallycomfortable in your career,
totally comfortable steppinginto that role, taking up that
mantle.
You know, being confident inwho you are.
But there's other places inyour life where maybe not so
much, maybe it's in the romanticarea we've had a couple of bad
(11:08):
experiences and you're just notcomfortable doing it again.
Or maybe in your career youused to be totally comfortable
and then something happened thatjarred you a little bit or
pulled the rug out.
Maybe you got laid off ordownsized or something like that
happened and it forced you torethink whether or not you were
(11:31):
actually good at what you do,and so now you find yourself on
the periphery, afraid to fullystep in to your true power in
your role, and this can happentoo, depending on the culture
you're in.
I've found that there are somecultures that I feel totally
comfortable in, and there areother cultures, I would say
(11:53):
those that are more mired downin corporate politics and have
very strong old school sort ofpower structures.
I don't like those kinds ofcultures for me.
They don't work well for me andI'll do it.
But it's much more exhaustingfor me to go center stage and
they don't tend to work out wellfor me.
(12:14):
I'm not happy usually when I'min that.
So sometimes it can be the vibeof a place that keeps you from
really being comfortable takingcenter stage as you think this
through for yourself.
That's a good thing to know, andmaybe it's something that you
haven't been in touch with uptill now.
So if you're in a place thatyou don't feel safe or you don't
(12:39):
like the vibe of the place, youdon't trust the people that
work around you, it might be agood time to start thinking
about a pivot, and if that's howyou feel about it, I don't
think you can change somethinglike that just by changing how
you think about it.
I know I'm all in on thecognitive behavioral therapy
(13:01):
approach to coaching, butthoughts of behavioral therapy
approach to coaching.
But thoughts don't alwayschange things the way we need
them to and the culture of aplace or the energy of the
people around you.
You can't really change thatright.
But what you can know aboutyourself is how you feel when
you're in that, whether you canchange the way you function in
that and make yourself okay andat your strongest in that.
(13:24):
And if you can't, it's a goodtime to change your circumstance
, like change your job, put somethought into it, find a place
that works better for you.
So that's number one is that aleading lady is totally
comfortable center stage withthe spotlight on her in those
(13:45):
moments where it's necessary.
So I'm not saying you're anarcissist and always
everything's about you, but I'mjust saying that is a place
where, if you're trulychanneling leading lady energy,
you just need to be comfortablebeing center stage.
So that's number one.
Number two a leading lady isconfident in her delivery and
(14:07):
the delivery of her lines.
If you want to take it to amovie production, she's clear,
she knows her lines, she'sprepared right and she's very
confident in how she deliversthem, with all of the nuances
necessary to embody thatcharacter.
So if we take this over intoyour life and we think about if
(14:31):
you're in the corporate arena,how comfortable are you speaking
up about issues, opportunities,ideas you have?
How comfortable are youspeaking up in meetings where
things might not be going wellright?
How confident are you in thatrole?
(14:53):
Because if you're trulychanneling leading lady energy,
you would be confident no matterwhat, no matter where anyone
else's head is at.
There's always room in everyroom for someone who's clear,
who's well-informed and who'sconfident to speak up, because
(15:16):
those are the people who cansolve the problems, those are
the people who can stop theswirl and, honestly, those are
the people that get promotedright.
People notice, even if theydon't love, that you're taking
the vibe of a room that's stuckand everyone's feeding off of
this victim mentality.
(15:37):
Sometimes, when someone stepsforward and suggests a solution
that can solve it, there's acertain percentage of the room
that is happy about that andthere's also a percentage of the
room that thinks who's thislittle bossy pants right?
Why is she so sure that she'sgot all the answers to our
problems and some people don'tlike to have the problem solved.
(16:00):
They like to stay stuck, andthere's certain corporate
cultures where they're stuck,cultures where things don't move
forward right.
I have been in a few of those,so it's not fun.
And when you're in one of thoserooms and you're trying to keep
the ball moving down the courtor down the field, you know
people can look at you and thinkwho does she think she is?
But when you do it from a placeof truly trying to move things
(16:26):
forward and you're doing it inan appropriate yet very
confident way, it gets noticedright.
Same thing in your business Likeif you've got your own business
and you accept a speakingengagement, you need to step
center stage.
Are you dreading that?
(16:46):
Or are you like in number one,comfortable stepping center
stage and two, confident in yourdelivery?
That's the thing.
Or if your thing is an onlinebusiness and you're doing these
Facebook lives, are youconfident?
Are you sitting in thatconfidence on your video while
you're talking to your targetaudience?
(17:07):
That is important and you canchannel that confidence anytime
by making sure that you'reinformed and have a very clear
perspective on the things thatyou want to say and that you own
your ability and your right andhave a strong belief in the
(17:28):
fact that the things that youshare can help people or a
situation move forward.
So that is about channelingthat leading lady energy,
confidence, which we're talkingabout in number two.
That's how you do it Like youare not shying away from those
situations.
You're not standing on thesidelines watching the
(17:52):
unfortunate things unfold in themeeting.
You are stepping forward andyou realize that, even if things
don't go well the first timethat you'll run at it again and
again because you have a strongbelief and confidence in who you
are and in your ideas.
So that's number two.
Number three you know how tocommand a stage, and this is
(18:16):
different than being comfortablein the spotlight.
Number three knowing how tocommand a stage is the energy
you bring with you when youenter a room, and I have had
some rooms where I do it welland I've had other rooms where I
don't not comfortable there.
Right, and I just want tosubmit to you even if you're in
(18:39):
a place where, at work, maybeyou're not totally comfortable
with the vibe of the place,while my recommendation stands,
if you're in a culture, thatjust doesn't work for you and it
drains your energy every dayand you feel not quite at your
best all the time.
(19:00):
I'm a big fan of changing theenvironment.
You can't change the vibe of aculture as one person, but this
is the caveat to that Whileyou're looking for your thing,
while you're still there, ifyou're channeling the leading
lady energy, you still need tohave a presence about you, the
(19:24):
leading lady energy presence.
You need to be able to walk intoa room, even a tough room, even
a room where there might besome bullets flying.
You've got to command thatstage and you know it when you
see it.
If you've seen other people manor woman walk into a room and
people just sit up a littlestraighter, they notice, they're
(19:44):
drawn to that person.
They're a force, a leading lady.
She's a force.
When she walks into the room,people notice she acts boldly,
she speaks confidently, shestands tall, she carries herself
in a certain way, she stands alittle straighter, she pulls her
(20:05):
package together.
She doesn't just throw anythingon and haphazardly apply her
makeup and select her jewelry.
She's put together and you canbe that no matter where you're
at in your life.
And I will tell you that whenyou do that, it makes you feel
better.
It makes you stand a littletaller.
It makes you carry yourselfdifferently when you treat
(20:29):
yourself like you matter.
It may not be the right placefor you.
You may not be thrilled aboutwalking into a room where, in
five minutes, bullets are goingto be flying, maybe in your
direction, but you can still sittall, have a good presence in
the room and make eye contact.
Look people in the eye.
Drop your shoulders down, don'tbe all scrunched up.
(20:53):
Open your body language up tothe room, no matter how many
bullets are flying, and beconfident saying what you're
saying, even if you know thatit's not going to be.
Maybe at least on the firstpass, adopted welcome opinion.
It doesn't matter.
Carry yourself like you're aforce.
You know how to command a stage, and that room in your
(21:26):
corporate life is your stage,and that Facebook live or
Instagram live in your businessif you're also running a
business or if you run thatinstead of being in corporate,
that is your stage.
Stand tall, speak clearly, lookthe camera in the eye, look the
people in the eye and know thatyou're saying something, you're
(21:48):
delivering something that'simportant, that's well-informed
and that you're very confidentabout.
So that is number three, thatyou know how to command a stage.
Number four this is important.
If you look at leading ladiesacross their acting career
listen, if you've read anystories on Meryl Streep, on
(22:10):
Jennifer Aniston, on any of themthey know how to roll with the
setbacks.
It is an unkind industry, Ithink, for men and women, but
probably especially women, andanyone who's been in the
limelight knows how to roll withit right, not only during the
(22:31):
good times, not only whenthey're in the amazing movie and
getting all the great press andon the covers of all the
magazines.
But they know how to deal withrejection.
They know how to deal withcasting directors who are
telling them you need to lose 15pounds, even if they really
don't, or you look too old forthe role or whatever mean things
(22:54):
they get told, and they do gettold many mean things in that
industry because it's a lotabout their visual persona.
It's about way more than that.
But that's the first gate andit would be devastating to just
hear rejection after rejection.
I read an article on JenniferAniston at the beginning of her
career and I guess she was toldreally mean things that she just
(23:15):
was too heavy and all that kindof stuff, and while that's not
necessarily helpful and eventrue, it's part of that industry
, so I'm not really trying tomake a comment on that.
What I am saying, though, ismore from her perspective, she
could have just quit right.
She could have said there'snothing wrong with me because
there wasn't.
She could have gone into adifferent part of the
(23:36):
entertainment industry not infront of the camera, or she
could have done anything elsewith her life, because she seems
like a really smart person andall that kind of stuff.
But she didn't.
She wanted to do what she did,and so she stayed with it, and
she dusted herself off, and shedid casting call after casting
call, and then she, of course,won the friends thing, but that
(23:59):
changed her entire life.
And now look at her.
She's now in her early fiftiesand she's still doing amazing
things, like I love her morningshow on Apple Like she just
never stops.
So my point here is that, forany leading ladies that have had
any type of career of longevity, or just even anyone who puts
themselves out there in any wayin that industry, I have to say
(24:23):
they're very gritty andresilient.
It takes self-belief, it takesgumption.
Listen to those words likebackbone, grit, guts, moxie,
spunk, courage.
That's what gumption embodiesand we all need that.
Think about your own life.
If you're someone who maybe isstruggling right now in your
(24:44):
career, maybe you're in one ofthese firms that has downsized
through no fault of your own andyou find yourself questioning
yourself like your own value,your own self-worth, and whether
or not, if you're of a certainage, at midlife, whether you'll
find another role that's as goodas the one you're in.
You have to channel thatgumption, that leading lady
(25:07):
energy that actresses have tohave and actors, I guess, too.
You're going to get rejection.
It might take you 50 interviewsbefore you get the yes.
You're going to have to contendwith failure in your career.
Even if you are a lady, you'regoing to have to deal with a bad
(25:28):
performance, like someactresses do.
You might be a great actress,but, like I watched, I can't
remember what it was.
I watched a Meryl Streep moviefrom back in the nineties and it
was not good and I don't thinkI would have ever said that
about a Meryl Streep movie.
It wasn't even a well-knownmovie it was about I can't
remember the name of it now, butit was about something about
(25:48):
her son was accused ofcommitting a murder of his
girlfriend.
It turns out it was all anaccident, but it was a bad
performance and a bad movie andyet she came back from that to
do many other Oscar winningthings.
So you have to roll with it is.
The lesson to take from theleading ladies is that they know
(26:10):
how to deal with setbacks andrejection and a bad performance
or failure.
And they still get up and theydo it again because they love
what they do and they believe inthemselves and they know that
next time is a good time to showthat they actually are a
world-class actress and they aredetermined.
No matter what flop they justmight've come out with, the
(26:32):
commercial flop, the next moviecan have them on the Oscar stage
.
So that's leading lady energy.
You know how to deal withsetbacks, rejection and failure.
That's number four and numberfive.
A leading lady knows her worthand asks for what she wants.
In the entertainment industry,I would imagine that is about
(26:56):
not only going for the big role,not shying away from it like if
you're just coming off of afailure or a rejection, like
you're throwing your hat back inthe ring and you believe that
you have the ability to bringthat home to get the offer, to
get the role.
Knowing your worth is aboutnegotiating well, Like granted,
(27:17):
she has the benefit of doingthat through an agent, whereas
those of us in corporate usuallydon't.
If you're in the higher ranks,I know some executives have
hired attorneys to do theircontract negotiation for them,
but most of us don't have that.
We have to do it ourselves.
But still, do you accept thefirst offer, do you accept the
lowball offer or do you say no,like?
(27:38):
I've done my research.
I know what people in this getpaid in general in the
marketplace.
I know what they're payingother people at that position in
a range and I'm going to demandmore because I know I can and I
know I'm worth it.
Right, you ask for what you want.
If you are outperformingeveryone at work and you know it
and your boss knows it andyou've had some of those roles
(28:01):
but you're still not getting theproactive promotion.
If you're coming up, like manypeople are on review season,
now's the time to startpositioning yourself and asking
for what you want.
You may not get it, but thereis no harm in asking.
And that's about telling yourstory, that's about owning your
(28:22):
narrative.
That's about honestly, knowingyour value, your strengths and
your weaknesses and comparingyourself in a dispassionate way
to those who are also at yourlevel who's delivering the most
value on the most consistentbasis and looking at that next
level up and saying how close amI to that?
(28:43):
Not in a self-delusional way,but in as accurate a way as you
can.
And if we all put our ego aside, we're all capable of looking
at a situation realistically.
But even if you're told no, youstill need to know and own your
self-worth.
You still need to know and ownyour self-worth.
If your company doesn't seethat in you but you truly have
(29:05):
done the math and done thecomparisons and you see it in
you, you're ready for that nextlevel, then there's no harm.
If you've asked and they'vesaid no, not this year or no, I
don't see you ever in that.
It's time maybe to startlooking at a different company,
(29:25):
one where you really can bringyour full force and receive the
full benefit for doing that.
And that is about just neverwavering, never letting a
previous disappointment or aprevious poor performance on
your part permanently keep youon the sidelines.
This is about knowing yourworth relative to your peers and
(29:53):
asking for what you want andnot being afraid to do that.
So those are five ways that youcan channel leading lady energy
.
I just want to run throughthose really quick again.
Number one the leading lady iscomfortable center stage so she
does not shy from the spotlight.
(30:14):
Number two she knows her lines,so she's prepared would be the
analogy and she's clear andconfident in her delivery of
those lines.
That's you and your role incorporate right or your business
.
Number three she knows how tocommand a stage.
So this is about her presenceand the way she carries herself
(30:37):
and the way she enters a roomand the way she expresses
herself through every part ofher being, not only her eye
contact and her posture, but howshe puts herself together.
You know her style, her mannerof speaking, her tone, all of it
.
That is about commanding astage.
(30:58):
Be the leading lady.
That's number three.
And number four she knows how todeal with setbacks, or roll
with it, because we all knowlife and career and business
it's a series of highs and lows.
It's not linear.
There's always some kind offork in the road ahead that
we're all having to deal withall the time, and so you just
(31:18):
need to be able to roll with it.
Even if there's adisappointment, a failure, a
setback, rejection, pickyourself up and believe in
yourself and take it in stride.
Don't be afraid to throw yourhat in the ring again for the
next big thing that comes along.
Don't make it mean anythingabout you.
And number five you ask forwhat you want.
(31:40):
A leading lady asks for whatshe wants, even if she's coming
off a failure or a setback orbad performance.
She knows her worth, she standstall in that self-belief and
she's not afraid to ask for whatshe wants, whether it's the big
role or whether it's the bigsalary.
And the same can be true foryou.
(32:00):
So those are the lessons, andit is all summed up in what
Arthur from the movie theHoliday calls gumption the
ability to decide the best thingto do in a particular situation
and have the energy anddetermination to do it.
I want to leave you with onelast thought.
(32:22):
If you were going todemonstrate gumption in your
life, that feeling right, all ofthose words I read off, those
are emotions, and we know thatemotions come from your thoughts
, not from the circumstancesthat you find yourself in.
So if you were going to channelthose words and that emotion,
(32:44):
what kinds of things would youhave to be thinking about
yourself?
That is a very interestingself-coaching exercise that you
could do.
How well are you channelinggumption?
What are the thoughts you havenow and what emotions are they
creating?
And how close are thoseemotions to the gumption words?
(33:05):
How gritty do you feel?
How much backbone do you thinkyou have?
How much moxie do youdemonstrate on a regular basis
fortitude, strength of mind, allof that and then start with
that emotion and say, if I wasgoing to feel that, what would I
have to think about myself?
What would I have to thinkabout myself?
What would I have to believeabout myself?
That's a very interestingreversal and way into what it
(33:29):
would take for you to actuallystep into leading lady energy in
your life.
So the last thing I'll say is ifyou have not watched the
Holiday, please watch it.
It is very charming.
Love Kate Winslet always, butshe's fantastic in this movie
and Jack Black is playingagainst type.
He's actually playing theromantic lead for her and it
(33:52):
works.
They're adorable together.
So it's a very fun, feel goodmovie about a woman who learns
how to step into her power andher life, and she does it
beautifully and you can do thesame.
So with that I'll leave youtill next time.
Make it a great week.
My friends, do you have a lifecoach?
(34:28):
If not, I'd be so honored to beyour coach.
I've created a virtual coachingprogram and monthly membership
called Next Level.
Inside, we take the materialyou hear on this podcast, study
it and then apply it.
Join me at thepurposefulcareercom backslash
next level.
Don't forget the thepurposefulcareercom backslash
(34:50):
next level.
Join me and together we'll makeyour career in life everything
you dream of.
We'll see you there.
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