Live Through Love || The PUSH Project Podcast EP. 011 || RUBEN ROJAS

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Ruben Rojas shares how love transformed his journey from pre-med studies to real estate to discovering himself as an artist who uses murals to spread the message of love throughout cities worldwide.

• Taking the scenic route to find your purpose, allowing life to unfold naturally
• Trading time for money versus being in service to something greater
• Choosing love as the harder but more rewarding path
• Integrity in showing up consistently whether behind closed doors or in public
• Focusing on self-love as the foundation for loving others authentically
• Finding purpose in planting seeds of love through public art
• Transitioning to fatherhood and discovering an expanded capacity for love
• Using art to remind ourselves and others of our inherent value
• Breaking out of limited thinking and creating new possibilities

"The idea of love seemed appropriate everywhere. I couldn't find a place where love didn't fit." Choose love today.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Love is hard.
It's an active choice.
I am choosing to love and I'mnot talking about sacrifice and
martyrhood, like we don'tsacrifice anything.
Choosing to love yourself isselfless.
When you love yourself, you canfully love and embrace
everybody else and give it out.
What's up?
Push Project audience?
This is Ruben Rojas talkingwith David Hernandez.

(00:22):
Today we talk about love, myjourney taking the scenic route.
It's okay and he got me at theend, so make sure you stay tuned
in.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
Ruben Rojas.
Thank you so much, man, forbeing a part of the podcast.
It's an honor.
I don't want to give too muchinformation about you.
I'd like you to kind of tellyour story and let people know
who you are.
But I'll start with.
You know, you're an artist,you're a muralist, you're an
all-around creative, an author,you're a poet, you're a host of

(00:53):
your own podcast.
Live through love and one thing.
And doing my research gettingready for this interview.
You said I took the scenicroute to get here.
Tell me, tell the listeners,who is Ruben Rojas.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
Well, we're on the Push and Pee podcast, right.
So we got to put that pressureon it.
So life is now and a lot of usforget that.
Right, we got to live withurgency.
And that doesn't negate thescenic route that I take and
what I mean.
Us forget that, right, we gotto live with urgency.
And that doesn't negate thescenic route that I take and
what I mean by that is I've beenan artist my whole life.
I've been doodling since I was akid.

(01:30):
I've been oil painting.
I used to paint completelydifferent than what you see now
graffiti and tagging and allthat not illegally but like book
covers and piecebooks andthings like that.
And I'm a three-sport athlete.
I played football, soccer andtrack, so that kept me busy from
doing the illegal graffiti andall that.
But it was always a part of me,it was always there.

(01:54):
But it was never encouraged as away of life, and I don't mean
that in a negative.
It wasn't discouraged becausemy mom put us in all kinds of
hobbies and electronic classesand wood whittling and oil
painting and watercolors andcharcoals and all the things.
It was just more so that, hey,go be a doctor, go be an

(02:18):
attorney, go get into finance,like there's that that path of
of what's normal, quote unquote.
So the scenic route took methrough all that Got all my
degrees, got all my accolades,got all my grades, did all my
sports and kept pushing to thatpoint until the point of almost
getting into and startingpre-med right.

(02:41):
So I've got my kinesiologymajor and I wanted to do
orthopedic surgery, like that'sthe thought.
I'm like, dude, I'm a jock,this is perfect, let's go fix
other athletes, let's just dothis.
You know, and I started doingsome touring and that I'm like I
don't know about this.
Is this really what I want todo?
I mean, it's easy for me.

(03:02):
Do I love it?
Love, love it.
I have no idea.
And, dude, at 18, 19, 20, youdon't know, you don't know shit.
You, I have no idea who I'mgonna be.
I still don't know, you know.
I just know that you know I'mdoing what I love now.
But that led me to real estate.
A buddy's like hey, come checkout loans, give it a shot.

(03:25):
Made 18 grand my first month inreal estate.

Speaker 2 (03:29):
A lot of potential to make good money.

Speaker 1 (03:30):
20 nothing, yeah, and I'm like half a million in debt
, bold, fat, 35, maybe gettingout to the world to start
practicing, right?
Because all the residency andthen all the extra stuff, just
all the things you need to do toget that point not negating the
career, it's great, but it'smore like that wasn't the path
for me.
So then I just made a lot ofmoney in my early 20s, a lot of

(03:53):
money, and then it was all aboutsuccess, ego and bravado and
and instead of being wholemyself, I'm like, dude, look at
my diamond watch, look at my 26inch rims, look at my boat, look
at my houses, look at all thesethings.
Right, that's how I measuredsuccess and right in america,
that's how we measure success.
It's just, it happens.
And again, nothing wrong withthat, but I wasn't fulfilled and

(04:17):
I wasn't whole.
And then come up 2008, I gobankrupt, right, lose it, allose
it all, sell it all off.
Like, what am I going to dowith my life?
Oh, my God, I went from makingway too much money to making
absolutely no money, yeah, andthen next year, like, what am I
going to do 2008 to 2009,?
Get into financial advising,become an insurance salesman,

(04:42):
retirement specialist,investment specialist, all those
things.
Five years into that I'm like,oh man, I'm doing the thing
again where my reward is money,except for after you lose it all
.
You realize there's more tolife than just amassing money.
So I don't want to trade timefor money.

Speaker 2 (05:02):
Yeah, even with that second, that transition into the
money management, there was anelement there of actually
helping people, right.
So there was something wasentering in that you didn't have
necessarily.
Well, sure, you were helpingpeople find their homes, but now
then you were, maybe there wasstill this string of helping

(05:23):
people with their financialliteracy, their investments
right Setting up future.
So there was still somethingthere where your heart to help
had an outlet of sorts right.
Sorry, I jumped in Continue.

Speaker 1 (05:36):
No, no, great observation.
Great observation, david,because the common denominator
in everything I ever did when Iwas a personal trainer, when I
was going to be a surgeon, whenI was doing real estate, when I
was doing finance have alwaysbeen people.
It's always been in service topeople and, ultimately, our
greatest goal should be to be inservice to humanity and your
return is tenfold.
But again, trading time formoney, where the money is the

(05:58):
reward besides being in service.
You were measured by income,you were measured by all that,
and I'm five years into thisthing.
I'm like I'm depressed and Ihate it and why I like I'm fit,
I got no kids, I got no wife, Igot no baggage.
You know, yeah, I was bankrupt,but I rebuilt all that, so it's
like exactly like I'm born in,la, like I have no reason to

(06:20):
feel depressed, I have no reasonto feel broken, unworthy,
hollow, not enough.
These are the conversations I'mhaving in my head, so I start
going to do the work on this andyeah that led me down the path
to painting my first publicmural and I started painting
things that I needed to see inthe world as a reminder.
So when I say I took the scenicroute, I've done all the

(06:43):
schooling, I've had multiplecareers by the time I finally
did this, but the commondenominator has always been
helping people, being in service, and I've always been
self-employed.
I've always beenentrepreneurial, so those are
the two things.
So I had to finally bet onmyself after a couple years of
what does this art thing looklike, yeah, and and like how am

(07:04):
I going to make money on this?
How, how, what is going tohappen here?
And I finally said you knowwhat?
Fuck it.
I'm out and I went full blownin 2018 down this path of art
and like here we are.
You've seen what it turned itinto.
Like a scribble turned intothis it.
It's just mind-blowing, yeah.

Speaker 2 (07:25):
Yeah, I love that, the last part.
You just said, too, how ascribble just turned into this
thing.
That's changing lives now.
You had just said that on aninterview you did with one of
the local news stations recently.
I mean, if nobody's familiar,this is one of his pieces of
work, his merchandise.
The mural behind him right nowis his work.

(07:48):
If you're driving anywhere inLA, you've probably seen several
of his murals.
I think.
What's fascinating too, you'reself-described as a lover, an
artist, a husband now, and afather A huge honor.
Right, I'm a father.
We just had our second daughterfour months ago and I'm hooked.

(08:09):
You know what I mean Likechange man forever.
Matter of fact, I watched theepisode of you and your wife
telling your story of how youmet and how that led to deciding
yeah, let's get married, let'sstart a family.
Beautiful.
My wife and I sat and watchedthat actually over a year ago
and, um, you know, I began tosee the heart of this man, this

(08:41):
part of reuben rojas, right, butfor somebody who's recognized
all over the world.
Your murals are all over theworld.
You have something in Paris, Ithink I learned that.
You said you've done somethingwith BMW.
You painted murals on theircars for an event Anywhere in
San Diego.
And this was the thing is.
I grew up in City Heights, bornand raised, and just looking at

(09:03):
your website I saw you have amural in the same city that I
grew up, in, city Heights and Iwas thinking what a small world.
I got to go find it to check itout.
But the connections are there.
I have always been brown skinyoung man that was never afraid
to express affection, expressmyself, communicate, express

(09:26):
love.
My dad, a huge teddy bear,right.
But we had our own problems,different kind of stuff, and it
created challenges for us.
Statistically I'm sure you'veheard all the talks before.
Statistically, we're notsupposed to be doing this and
living walking in purpose.
For many reasons we're just not.

(09:46):
Statistically, latin men arenot supposed to be expressive
and saying I love you to anotherman, right, showing their
emotional side being vulnerable.
We're not supposed to.
Men of color, right.
We're just, societally, we'renot encouraged to.
Yet here we are at least two ofus now, mm-hmm, we gravitate
towards at least two of us now.
We gravitate towards andcorrect me if I'm wrong about

(10:08):
you but we gravitate towardsother people that are like this,
that are willing to sit downand have substantive
conversation.
I can't do superficial.
I can't sit down and say youknow just the superficial stuff
of the day.
You know just the superficialstuff of the day, but knowing

(10:29):
this about you, knowing how youwere recognized worldwide for
your work now of living throughlove, there was a time where you
were depressed, you felt likeyou didn't have any direction
and somehow you pushed throughall of that to find this.
And that's really where I wantto sit with you know, number one
, this young boy from the Valley.

(10:50):
Right, you grew up in theValley.
Young man growing up in theValley.
What type of kid today couldidentify with young Reuben?
What kind of kid was youngReuben?

Speaker 1 (11:06):
what kind of kid was I?
I mean, I was an athlete andyou know I was a good kid and
I'm an old, older sibling, right, my brother.
I have a younger brother, so Iwas the role model to him and as
the first born of immigrantparents, it's there was a lot of

(11:27):
pressure put on me.
Like you, you've got to beperfect, you've got to be the
example for your brother.
You can't mess up, you can't dothese things.
So probably people in thatcapacity can relate to that
being perfect, being the example, can't mess up.
And those are things that thenlead to like I cannot fail, I'm
not allowed to fail, I'm notallowed to mess up.

(11:47):
And that led to, like you know,the fear of being judged.
But what kind of kid am I?
I mean, I think it's.
It's the athletic kid, it's,it's every kid that's out there,
it's any brown boy out there.
I don't think we need to unpackit really more deeply than that
other than you know, when we'rebrown, we're in the middle, like
we are in the middle, there'swhite, there's black, we're in

(12:07):
the middle and that gets lost.
There's black, we're in themiddle and that gets lost a lot.
And I've been doing a lot ofinventory about this and like
what is being brown, what isbeing brown enough?
And then in LA we only thinkLatino, right, but there's Arabs
, there's Pakistanis, there'sIndians, there's Moroccan,

(12:30):
there's pakistanis, there'sindians, there's morocco.
There's so many people in theworld that are brown, even of
different asian descents, thatare brown.
And what does it mean to bebrown enough?
Yeah, exactly, filipinos.
My brother's wife's filipino,so my nephews have filipino and
colombian.
So, like what is being brown andin the middle, and I think a
lot of that is, you said itearlier, we're not supposed to
show emotion and be invulnerableand be this.

(12:52):
It's not that we're notsupposed to, we don't think we
can, and it's this culture ofmachismo that's exactly right.
Or, in the space we operate islike shut up, go work, collect
your check and that's it, that'syour life.
Go home, feed the family, rinseand repeat, don't make a scene,
don't be loud, don't stand outand you see it, some of the

(13:15):
hardest workers in the room arebrown people and they're quiet.
So what is it?
Who is it?
Any kid needs to look up to us.
It doesn't have to be the brownkid or the black kid or the
white kid, I think, ultimately,I want people to know that when
you lean into love, when youchoose love, there's an endless

(13:35):
amount of possibility becausethat is eternal energy, that is
eternal momentum.
But you have to choose and tobe active.
So you know, the world isdifferent now.
Our kids, like they, grew up onthis.
I had cassettes, you know.
I had CDs and VHSs.
It was very short-lived for usbut still we had that.
Internet began during our time.

(13:57):
Dude, my kid's on his iPad he'snot even two yet
Do-do-do-do-do-do and we limithis interaction with it.
But they know intuitively it'sdesigned, you know, for human
use and consumption.
But they're going to have awhole different world.
And technology now, right, Ijust saw this thing the other
day where you know, from a to b,technology was basically almost

(14:20):
a flat line, right, like therock fire, the wheel, the
wheelbarrow, the horse andcarriage, a car, a plate, like
it was kind of here and now.
Now technology is like it's arocket ship, it's almost
vertical.
That's how quick things arehappening.
Iphone's obsolete the minute itdrops.
Everything we have now, theminute we have access to it's

(14:41):
already obsolete.
Look at artificial intelligence.
Now, right, what do we?
When I was a kid.
We watched terminator 2 andyou're like oh sk, skynet's
going to get us like dude ischat GPT.
The future is like all these.

Speaker 2 (14:54):
AI things.

Speaker 1 (14:55):
Exactly so.
I think, though, at the root ofall of this, if we get closer
to our humanity, we're going toall be better for it.
So I think technology can bringus closer.
I'm not thinking that theTerminators are going to come.
Could come, right.
Science fiction comes fromsomeone's mind, and a lot of

(15:15):
that becomes reality.
Right, minority report.
And now we're touching screens,and you don't even need screens
and holograms.
You see all these things comingto life, but I think it can be
for the better.

Speaker 2 (15:30):
Look what we're able to do now because of technology,
and really it's what we'rechoosing to do with love.
It's what we're choosing now todo.
We could have been doinganything.
Right now, we're choosing tosit together, talk about love,
talk podcast mine it's whoeverlistens to it.
Whenever they find it, inwhatever point of their life,

(15:52):
the hope is that the seed isplanted, something grows inside
of them and then they spread itout.
And so what seeds are weplanting together, you and I?
The same thing it's love, right?
It's that I want you to knowhow loved you are.
I want you to know yourpotential and your value and to
never question it.
So, like farmers here, we arejust planting seed.

(16:15):
I get the sense that you trustthe seed that you're planting.
You know that you're plantinggood seed because you walk with
the confidence in, in.
You just carry yourself withthis confidence.
I know that what I'm giving outis good seed, just like we.
If we plant an orange, weexpect oranges to grow.
We don't expect strawberriesand grapes, right?

(16:37):
So we're planting seeds of hopeand love and worth, and we're
expecting that kind of fruit tomanifest in whoever gravitates
towards it.
You know what I mean.
Yep, you have any thoughts onthat?

Speaker 1 (16:52):
you know, at the end of the day, with the painting,
with the art, with everything, Ican walk you up to the door, I
can open the door, I'm openingthe door, I'm actually opening
the door, but you still need towalk through it.
Right, they say you can lead ahorse to water, but ultimately,
all we can do is control ourword, control our actions,
because there's so little we cancontrol in life and continually

(17:14):
the consistence of showing upthe same way, day in, day out,
24, 7, when no one's looking, orwhen you're on the stage in
front of the world and thatright there is what's planting
the seeds, and then the worldhas to, you know, reap the
benefits and sow it once it'sharvested I've heard you speak
of uh in in previous discussions.

Speaker 2 (17:36):
You know paving an unfamiliar path.
Can you talk to me a little bitabout your ideas, your
understanding of paving thisunfamiliar path, kind of pushing
through things to discoveringyour own purpose?
I know we touched on it just alittle bit, but today, as you
stand, you know the grown man,the husband and the father.
You've reflected back on, I'msure, the work.

(17:57):
And then today talk to me aboutthat.

Speaker 1 (18:00):
Well, I think I would start with like we're born as
babies that are helpless, right.
Like we literally come out andwe can die.
We are so helpless and we'refiguring all that out and then,
as a parent, you're figuring itout too.
Like most of what we're doingis unfamiliar.
We don't come with instructions.

(18:21):
Life doesn't have aninstruction manual.
You know, people have paved theway, but we got to realize that
2,000 years ago that was acompletely different way than
200 years ago, than 100 yearsago, than two years ago,
pre-pandemic to now, totallydifferent world already, and

(18:43):
there's a lot of fear in theworld.
So I think it's reallyrealizing that you have the
opportunity to dive intoanything and figure it out.
So what I would say for pavingthat unfamiliar way is like I'm
so used to jumping off cliffswithout parachutes and then
building them on the way down.
Yeah, not everyone's wired thatway.
We are all wired different.

(19:04):
I am wired that way.
I have gone running into like Istart a clothing line.
How do I do this?
Can you put my art on a hoodie?
Cool, send me a tech pack.
I'm like what the hell is atech pack?

Speaker 2 (19:15):
What is that?
Can you just do this Like?

Speaker 1 (19:17):
here's the photo.
Make this.
Well, what kind of hoodie doyou want?
What's the weight?
What's the garment size?
What kind of?
What color do you want?
Like, I'm like white on black.
I'm like what do you want?
A 10-ounce hoodie, a 12-ouncehoodie?
An 8.5-ounce hoodie?
Do you want a universal?

Speaker 2 (19:32):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (19:33):
Yeah, but it didn't stop me.
I'm like yo here, put it onthat hoodie, put it on that
T-shirt, let's go, I just got toget it out.
And the fact that on your phoneyou can Google everything, yeah

(19:55):
, all you have to do is ask thequestion.
So it's like, hey, how do Imake a tech pack?
Oh cool.
Template for a tech pack ohcool, I have to make the
measurements of the art, put theart file.
Okay, so, like, everything isavailable to us, yeah, just
realizing, like all the choicesare there, we were made with
free will and to choose.

(20:16):
And the issue, I think, is alot of people don't make the
choice and guess what the choiceis being made, whether you make
it for yourself or not somepeople are stuck right tunnel
vision, and not that they're sofocused on one thing.

Speaker 2 (20:32):
It's that they might not even believe that anything
outside of that tunnel ispossible, and I think that
oftentimes it's very critical tobreak the mold.
Somebody's got to do it.
Somebody has to break the moldin order to convince others that
another way is possible,wouldn't you agree?

Speaker 1 (20:54):
I mean you can look at Nike's inception.
Here's a good example Nike andthe running shoe and getting pre
Fontaine to do what he did withthe mile.
No one believed that anyonecould run a sub four minute mile
.
Boom, one guy does it.
You know how many people havedone that, since you know only
one person has to show us whatis possible, it has to gets to

(21:15):
believe in that dream and thenguess what everyone could
believe also yeah, I meanspeaking of runners too.

Speaker 2 (21:23):
You have kip chogey, who the first man to ever finish
the marathon under two hoursand the whole time time you're
thinking it's crazy, it'sabsolutely insane.
But he had to have a belief thatthat was possible and if nobody
else believed it, he didn'tcare.
He was like, well, I'm still, Ibelieve I can get it.
And then he did it.

(21:44):
And now it's like the rippleeffect, wouldn't you say?
So everybody's like it'spossible.
Well, dang, I mean, I guess Ineed to get on this too, would
you say?
Getting back to even your gift,your creative gift, would you
say that there was a time inyour life where you ran from
your gift at all?

Speaker 1 (22:01):
I was running until I decided to own it.
So yeah, I ran for like 30years 30 plus years.
But I didn't know that was thething I was supposed to do, yeah
, until I fell went up.
Fell went up, found myself in alull, figured it out, you know,
and it happened, but I chose to.

(22:22):
In that moment, you know, mybuddy said hey, come grab a
coffee.
I'm doing this work.
And I was open and willing.
You know what?
What do I got to lose.
I'm.
I'm here.
Now I gotta do something.
Yes, I'm gonna go join you anddo that.
That led to this.
Like, the opportunities arealways there but we're not
always ready to listen.
What if I wasn't ready tolisten at that time?

(22:43):
I might still be in finance,who knows?

Speaker 2 (22:47):
like yeah I mean I I just I believe.
I believe that this would havebeen, this path would have found
you still, ultimately, becausethere's something burning inside
you that you know.
It had to come out like that.
There was a, it was a giftplanted in you, a treasure that
was there that had to bediscovered.
You Regarding choice you hadmentioned choice and I was

(23:12):
actually in preparation for this.
I kept asking myself why love?
Why did you choose love?
And the obvious answer is whynot?
But I want to hear from you.
Of all of the things going onin the world.
We can get disillusioned, wecan get discouraged.
Why are you so adamant aboutspreading love?

Speaker 1 (23:38):
There's so many ways to answer this, and today I'm
going to answer it in this way.
And the thought is, becauseit's not the hard way and it's
not the obvious way, love isn'teasy.
No, it is hard, I'm saying it'snot the hard way and it's not
the obvious way.
You know, love isn't easy.
No, it is hard.
I'm saying it's not easy.
Fear is easy, victimhood iseasy, flipping people off is

(24:00):
easy, being angry is easy.
All those things are very easybecause it's low risk.
Love is very difficult and Ialso believe that love is very
misappropriated in our culture.
Romantic comedies are like oh,prince charming's gonna sweep me
off my feet.
We're gonna be married and havethis house and all the kids and
live happily ever after.
They never show the rest of thestory.

(24:21):
Don't get me wrong.
I love a good rom-com, like butthey show you the warm and
fuzzies in the honeymoon phaseand they don't show the rest.
Like how do you get married forfive, six, seven, 20?
Exactly, it's not rosy all thetime.
That's why I'm saying love ishard, but it's also realizing
when I was like love isn't thiswarm, fuzzy blanket, like it's

(24:46):
an active choice.
I am choosing to love and I'mnot talking about sacrifice and
martyrhood.
Like it's an active choice.
I am choosing to love and I'mnot talking about sacrifice and
martyrhood.
Like we don't sacrificeanything.
Choosing to love yourself isselfless, right and then when
you love yourself, you can fullylove and embrace everybody else
and give it out without stringsand and you know baggage or

(25:09):
alternative agendas or thingslike that.
Because sometimes if we don'tlove ourselves and we're empty
and you're using money to findlove, hey, here, I love you,
take all my money here, go, yeah, yeah, yeah, go do something,
because then that makes us feelgood for whatever we're lacking
inside, that we're not feelingwhole with Like ooh, I got my
26-inch rims.

(25:34):
Everyone's like dudeen.
That escalates, sick, blackedout.
26 is no one's got 26 as you'relike a rapper feeds the ego
like oh, oh, yeah, tell me howamazing I am.
That doesn't mean I was goodinside.
Yet right now, if I get, Idon't need those rims.
Would I oppose having the rims?
No, because I'm a huge carfanatic and I like, like nice
things and there's things I like, but it's the reasons why I
have them now versus the reasonsthat I had them before.

(25:56):
So why love?
Because it's not easy andanything worth doing is not easy
.
You know how do you become achampion?
Putting in the work andpracticing and and believing.
You don't just become achampion.
And we operate out of love andwe operate out of fear.

Speaker 2 (26:18):
Yeah, there's a competitive side there, and the
world is throwing fear at us allthe time.
Yeah, living through love andnot fear it is a choice, and we
decide which side we want to beon.
I often think about, for me,everything that I've been
through as a kid, everythingthat I've lived through,
survived through.
There was just so manydifferent paths that I could

(26:42):
have gone down.
My father was a drug addict andan alcoholic, and it was rough.
So by 18, I was ready to getout the house.
I went off to college.
That was my escape, right.
There was something about goingthrough the hard times that
convinced me that I couldunderstand and I could connect
with other young people, otherfamilies that were going through

(27:03):
that kind of stuff, and sosince then, I chose to dedicate
my life to helping those folksbecause I could identify with
that struggle.
Is there any part of you thatthis is?
You know there's, yes, there'saltruism.
We all agree that doing it, youknow, doing something kind and

(27:24):
through love for the sake ofit's the right thing to do, is
nice, but there's also somethingthat we get in return.
Isn't it?
Isn't there If there's aselfish component to doing good
for others, and so I think thatchoosing love feels great Also,

(27:46):
it just feels amazing to do.
that 't always doesn't talk tome about that.

Speaker 1 (27:53):
I mean choosing to have an uncomfortable
conversation.
You have to choose love in thatmoment.
And they're like yo, brotherdavid, this isn't working for us
, like I'm going on another path.
You're over here.
I don't see us vibing togetherLike we might have to really
take inventory of our friendshiphere and see where we need to

(28:14):
go forward, because right nowit's not serving me and I
believe I'm not serving you.
That's an example of aconversation that's
uncomfortable.
That's choosing love.
That's why it's not easy.
And then being in service beingin service is the greatest
reward and people don't realizeit.
But you've got to be cognizantwith are you really being in
service or you're just using anagenda to get something back, in

(28:38):
the sense of tit for tat?
Hey, I'm doing this, but I knowI'm going to get something in
return.
When you're in service, you getthat return no matter what,
because they're reciprocity andgiving and receiving.
So there's a big difference.
And hey, am I showing up atthis thanksgiving homeless
shelter to feed a bunch ofpeople to and this is a shallow

(28:59):
example but and then posted onmy instagrams and doing all of
that, right, serve one bowl andbounce, or did you go?
Do it had a grand old time,didn't post anything.
I'm not saying you can't shareit, but I'm going on both
extremes Didn't post it, wentback to Thanksgiving, did them
with your fam and now you'rewholly fulfilled because all you

(29:21):
did.
You're like I'm going to showup, I'm going to serve a couple
people because I want to do it,and that return is zero agenda,
it just comes back.
So it's still a fine line witheverything we're doing Volunteer
to volunteer, but don'tvolunteer for the show.
I'll use religion as an examplethe Old Testament to the New
Testament.
There was the tabernacle andthe curtain, the whole show, and

(29:43):
then God's like got rid of that.
You don't have to sit on stageand have everyone watch you pray
for people to know and want oh,this guy prays, like you can
talk to god.
I could right now just take amoment and talk to god.
You don't even know I don'tneed to sit here and do this.
So like there's certain thingslike if you're doing it for the
show or are you doing it to begenuine, you know like yeah I

(30:09):
show up the same way, day in,day, day out.
I couldn't paint what I did anddo and sell what I do and talk
about what I do If behind closeddoors I'm not actually doing
all these things.
Right, like yeah, but then I'mwired that way.
That's integrity and havingintegrity, that's a whole nother
fuel to the system.
Like, are you integrous or isintegrity of your word and

(30:30):
keeping your word and actuallyshowing up?
You know, imagine being amotivational speaker and you're
on stage, but behind closeddoors you're like a wife beater
or the total opposite, verballyabusive to your family and
tearing them all down like that.
That's the thing it's.
I'm not saying this out ofjudgment.

(30:51):
I'm using random examples thatare kind of extreme to hopefully
land the point.
It's like we're doing this fora reason.
Yes, we're doing it to be inservice.
Yes, we're doing it to bebetter humans, and when you are
just a good human, you feel goodand you feel better.
But it doesn't mean it's easychoosing this or comfortable

(31:12):
right.
Going to the gym is not alwaysthe funnest thing to do, even if
you love.
Fitness is a huge part of mylife, but there's days I don't
want to go.
But I still go because I'mcommitted to myself and and and
long game.
But when I leave I always feelbetter.
I don't regret it.
So when you make these hardchoices and choose love and move
forward, maybe at first it'snot easy.

(31:34):
You don't feel good, you'repetrified, like.
But when it's done you're likeoh damn, okay, I'm a little
lighter, like, okay, this, thisworks.
But it also just means we'repracticing.
It's a mental muscle.
You're just flexing that musclemore and more and getting more
in practice.
It doesn't mean I don't go havebad days.
It doesn't mean there's aWednesday that I don't want to

(31:55):
get out of bed.
I just have the tools now tolean into it and snap out
quicker.
We're still human, we're stillfallible and we're going to have
human moments, whatever theyare, and just realize, oh, you
know what?
I didn't choose love in thatmoment.
That's cool, got the best of me.
I forgive you, ruben, move on,choose it next time.

Speaker 2 (32:17):
I forgive you, ruben.
Right that loving, even onourself, right, the self-love is
at the core of your message.
Right, we go easy on ourselvessometimes.
How many people, how many times, have you come across?
I'm a therapist as well, and soso many times people are
beating themselves up into theground, just stomping on

(32:40):
themselves till it's dust andthey are broken.
And it's a good remindersometimes, um, as we're driving
through someone la, as we'redriving through somewhere in LA,
as we're driving through Venice, and we see a mural that says
you're loved or you belong here,for example, even those little

(33:01):
reminders, those subtlereminders, are all it takes to
just turn that corner for us.
You know what I mean and whoknew I mean, did you know early
on that A random drive-by wouldinspire somebody to turn their
life around to avoid suicide?

(33:22):
Have you ever had any feedbacklike that, where people are like
listen, I saw this and itchanged me.
It changed something for me.

Speaker 1 (33:33):
Yes, I've had a lot of amazing stories emailed to me
and that's the stuff that fuelsme.
You know I've talked aboutthese stories before, but it's
not about posting it.
Look what this did.
You know I've had people talkabout their rape and say I am
love and I am not a victim tobeing raped and it doesn't
define me or alcoholics orpeople suffering with cancer.

(33:54):
But but back to one of the whyswe are all mirrors of each
other and when we realize thatwe're reflections of each other,
and you start showing up acertain way, then someone else
can see how you're showing upand then they'll start showing
up that way.
So the first mural I everpainted to every mural I paint
now, these are all messages ofme speaking to myself to remind

(34:15):
myself, ruben, you belong here.
To someone else, that means, oh, this is why they belong here,
ruben, believe, believe in mymission.
Someone else is like believe inwhat I'm doing.
It's all for everybody else,but it's also all for me.
And I just happened to put itin a public space and my

(34:35):
intention, for the message is soauthentic and genuine.
It does come across that wayand it does make that impact,
but they're reminders for me tocontinue to choose love.
I need to see the messages inthe world, so I put them out
there in the world.
And then again, if we'remirrors of each other, someone
else needed that, without usrealizing.
So did I paint?

Speaker 2 (34:55):
it with that intention.
The first mirror was for me.
I'm sorry to cut you off.
Go ahead.
The first mural was for me.

Speaker 1 (35:01):
I'm like what can I paint here?
What can I paint here?
I'm like who will you be in allthese ways of being, because I
was laying in bed like Ruben whothe fuck are you?
What are you doing with yourlife?
Come on, this can't be.
And I put responsible leader,humble joy, love, gratitude.

(35:22):
And, like you know, today I'mgoing to be a responsible leader
and I'm going to takeresponsibility for my life and
I'm going to lead it withgratitude for where I'm at right
now.
And I just needed to see thatbecause the billboard tells me
oh, you know what I'm feelingdepressed go buy a new ford
raptor.
If I ever bought a ford, that'smy favorite ford truck I'm more
of a chevy guy.

Speaker 2 (35:43):
Good, so I'm not pooing on them.

Speaker 1 (35:45):
I'm not pooing on them, but it's like I feel bad.
Just go buy something, or or or.
You're like dude, I'm just fatand out of shape.
Freeze the fat for 1999, youknow, or whatever it is, instead
of like going to the gym.
So to me it's like who will yoube, take responsibility?
So, if I'm all right, let metake responsibility, go lead my

(36:06):
life to the gym, or takeresponsibility and know that I'm
worthy and I belong here andI'm loved, you know.
So it's like those were themessages.
This is why I did it.
It happened to create thisripple effect for everybody else
.
I know it's inspirational, Iknow it's motivational now, but
like I do not call myself amotivational speaker or

(36:26):
inspirational speaker, I'm just.
I'm an artist.
I use art as my medium toencourage people to view the
world through the lens of love,and from there all this has
stemmed off.
But at the root, I'm an artistand I'm a human that just keeps
showing up, and consistency isthe key.
You can't hide consistency.
You can't fake that.

(36:47):
I can't fake showing up everyday.

Speaker 2 (36:51):
You can't?
No, not at all.
And it really does help to heareven the person who we all
believe is just constantly onand doing great and never has a
bad day.
It helps to hear even that thatperson has moments, human
moments, where we say I don'tfeel like getting up and getting
to the gym today, I don't feellike having, you know, folks

(37:13):
over, I don't feel like goingout and hanging out and just
doing whatever.
I don't feel like being on, Ijust want to kind of just be in
a chill moment for a second andrecoup.
We remind ourselves sometimes ofa greater purpose that we're a
part of.
So sometimes we have to say allright, you know, dave, ruben,
get up, push, go, do the thing.
But then other moments werelike all right, this is, you

(37:37):
know, this is right on, like I'mready to do this all as you're
working on any piece.
Has there ever been a momentwhere, as you're completing a
piece of work, that you yourselfget emotional because of just
taking it all in?
Ruben, you know what I mean.
Like damn, look like, like,look what I'm doing for a living

(38:00):
and the message that's comingout are you ministering to
yourself as you're creating thispiece that you know is going to
bless so many others usuallythe most of the emotional stuff
comes from the impact of someone, but this NFL season that just
ended.

Speaker 1 (38:20):
You know the whole.
They kicked off on me thiswhole choose love movement and
you know, when I was in SoFistadium kicking off the season,
in my seats they're playing meon the TV, filming me painting
in my studio, filming people infront of my murals, this

(38:40):
powerful message by sterling kbrown talking like this whole
thing, and I'm just like wow,yeah, I was like totally
emotional.
I'm like wow, yeah, this iscrazy.
This is crazy, like you know,those that know me knew it was
me.
And then there's hundreds ofmillions of people that tuned

(39:00):
into this thing and didn't knowme.
It's not like my name wasplastered there, but it didn't
matter.
I didn't even think about anyof that.
I just thought about like, as afootball player, I played
college football and like I lovethat game and be able to put on
that stage.
That just was like yeah, yeah,that just was like yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (39:20):
But at the same time.

Speaker 1 (39:21):
I joke and I'm like I made it to the league.
You know a lot of us thatplayed ball.
We'd always joke like who'sgoing to the league?
Like I knew I wasn't going tothe league but it didn't mean I
wouldn't have tried or thoughtif there was an opportunity.
But hey, I made it to theleague.

Speaker 2 (39:39):
You did what position Cur?
I've tried or thought if therewas an opportunity.

Speaker 1 (39:42):
But hey, I made it to the league.
You did what position, curious.
What did you play?
I was outside linebacker andrunning back, wow.
Okay, I did a little runningback in high school, but outside
defense is what I mostly.

Speaker 2 (39:50):
You enjoyed putting some pain on some folks then.

Speaker 1 (39:54):
That's where they put me, so I wrung the pain.

Speaker 2 (39:57):
Yeah, all right, they put me so I've rung the pain.
Yeah, all right.
So you mentioned sofi stadium.
Are you rams or chargers?
Fan rams, baby, yeah, I'm bornand raised san diego, so,
reluctantly, I still follow thechargers, but hey you have a
good team right now, but, uh, mynumber one team, the number one
team, are the e.
Really, oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (40:24):
You were at the Super Bowl this year, correct, and
the year before I was hoping fortwo championships from both
teams.

Speaker 2 (40:29):
It was a great game.
It was sad.

Speaker 1 (40:31):
You know, like growing up here we didn't have a
team Like they left and Iwasn't going to be a Raider fan
and you know I kind of followedthe niners but one day I'm just
like eagles cunningham mcnabready why?
like oh yeah, oh yeah it's justand it's so against the grain,
like it's the total oppositeside.

(40:51):
I've never been to philly oranything, but now, looking back,
like it was kind of meant to belike the city of brotherly love
, maybe we could do somethingover there.
Like you never know, I just wasagainst the grain to pick them.
You know I have other friendsborn and raised here and they're
like falcon fans or bear fans.
They just packers like wedidn't have a team during our

(41:12):
era that we could, becauseeverything else is dodgers,
lakers kings, trojans, likeevery lafc.
Everything else is la, yeah,lakers Kings, trojans, like LAFC
, everything else is.

Speaker 2 (41:21):
LA.
Yeah, but when we got the Rams,back.

Speaker 1 (41:24):
I was pumped, oh, all day long.
It's not even a conversation.

Speaker 2 (41:29):
Are the Clippers still the stepchild of LA.

Speaker 1 (41:33):
I mean, my second team growing up was obviously
the Bulls for Michael Jordan.

Speaker 2 (41:38):
Like that was a lot.
Yeah, I love them.

Speaker 1 (41:40):
I don't know, I don't , you know.
Yeah, I'm gonna say thisbecause you're a chargers fan,
but can you go back to san diego?
We don't need the los angeles.
I want to.
I want to go back to san diegostay anaheim angels, we don't
need you either did you go to?

Speaker 2 (41:58):
did you go to we're talking sports now because I'm a
huge sports fan as well Did yougo to any of the playoff games,
the Padres Dodgers this lastseason, the divisional series.

Speaker 1 (42:08):
No, I did not and I was heartbroken Because, like
this past couple years, we'vehad some really good teams.
You know and I'm not going tosay who's the bland, like it's
not my world but it was verydisappointing that we we lost
that round.
We lost that round.
A couple years ago I was gonnado a, a mural with the padres I
think manny ramirez was he whowas over there and he has like a

(42:31):
quote no manny no man who wason the padres.

Speaker 2 (42:35):
Yeah, I'm confusing who was the guy?

Speaker 1 (42:38):
that guy, yeah, I think he has a quote and we were
going to paint the quote in thepadres parking lot oh, okay,
what so?

Speaker 2 (42:45):
what happened?
And then?

Speaker 1 (42:46):
kovat happened, kovat happened, things happened, yeah
, but but uh, sports is just ahuge sports and art ultimate two
connectors.
So yeah anytime.
I could do anything with anysports team.
I will not not do something,unless maybe it's the Cowboys
For all of them.

Speaker 2 (43:07):
No, but sports connects the message.

Speaker 1 (43:10):
Yeah, 100%, all the Cowboys fans I know decided to
go against the Eagles.
I'm like if the Cowboys were inthe Super Bowl, I would still
root for them.
They're in our division, wewant our division to win and
they're in the NFC.
So I back it all up that wayand I don't not like the Chiefs.
Andy Reid I mean.
He won us the Super Bowl andthat was some great years with

(43:30):
Andy Reid.
I mean, that guy is a chief.

Speaker 2 (43:32):
That's a whole other thing.
You know what?
I couldn't root for the Chiefsbecause they're in our division
and they just spank us all thetime.

Speaker 1 (43:41):
Yeah, and I agree.

Speaker 2 (43:43):
I was pulling for the Eagles this season.
I got two good buddies that arefrom Philly Adam Blackstone,
this other dude, spanky, who's adrummer.
Adam Blackstone, as a matter offact, was the MD for the
halftime show for this year andlast Super Bowl, and so he put
together the whole set forRihanna and all of that stuff

(44:04):
this year and then the Dr Drehalftime show that was here in
Inglewood.
But I knew he was happy becausehis team, his hometown team,
was in the Super Bowl and he'sdoing the halftime show.
So I was pulling for him.
Man, it was a great game, don'tget me wrong.
It was a great game, don't getme wrong.
It was a great till the end.
I knew it was going to be close.
I knew it was going to be close.
That's what I said from thevery beginning, but anyway, so I

(44:24):
mean the spread was one and ahalf.
Yeah, let's yeah, it's all.
Good, listen, this is the.
This is the.
This is what it is.
I appreciate, but you want totalk about a champion.

Speaker 1 (44:35):
Jalen Hurts is a champion.
He played oh my God, how heplayed.
Yeah, 24 years old.
So, like the Eagles will beback, they will be back, without
a doubt, I agree, and that teamis going to stay together for a
little bit, right.
So it's young and there'sopportunity there, but the way

(44:56):
he shows up at 24, I mean that'sa leader and that's going to be
good.

Speaker 2 (45:01):
You have to keep the nucleus together, right?
You have to keep the coretogether in any movement.
For sure I want to talk to youif we segue a little bit into
family and keeping together.
One of the things I love aboutyou, sir, is that you are family

(45:21):
man.
The TED Talk you did.
The Manhattan Beach TED Talkyou did.
I'm watching it.
I've watched it a number oftimes and every single time I've
seen it.
What got my heart was hearingyou get choked up as you
mentioned your family, being adad, being a husband.
Please talk to me.
I have a four-year-old and Ihave a four-month-old, two

(45:43):
daughters, and I'm absolutelywhooped.
So when I heard that in you, Iknew it.
I knew that feeling.
I want to hear from you what itwas that got you so choked up
in that moment.
What do you think about whenyou know, when you're talking
about your family and being adad?

Speaker 1 (46:01):
I think it's just the , the gratitude I have for just
even being in that positionright, having my wife, having my
kid.
Like we take so much forgranted day to day.
I take things for granted allthe time, like you know, and we
bicker about random stuff, likeall these little things, but
when you take inventory and whenwe go travel and when we do

(46:23):
things, then to go on a stage,like Ted, and be able to say
that like it's the gratitudethat's overwhelming.
Obviously that comes from loveand all that.
But you know, and I never knewI would be there, like you, look
back 10 years.
Did I ever think, oh, I'm goingto be married with kids one day
?
I didn't even think that.
You know, it wasn't like somepeople, all they think about is

(46:45):
well, I need to be married, Ineed to be married, I have to
have kids, I have to have kidsand I never could relate to that
.
I'm like cool, like wasn'topposed to it, obviously, but it
wasn't the thing that.
I was like this is my mission.
I think it's a beautiful partof life, but there's more to
that.
Now I want to build this lifewith them.

(47:06):
Like, where are we going totravel?
What are we going to go see?
How are we going to leave thisworld behind?
What is the impact there?
Now, I just have my, my, myroad dogs with me, right, my
warriors.
So I think that's your team andwe choose the family we create,
right?
We're born into family andthere's this expectation around
automatically whatever to family, you have to respect it, you

(47:29):
have to love it, you have tothis even if it's not good for
you, and I'm like there's a lotof things that just don't make
sense around that Cause, if welook at humanity, back in the
day, it was all tribal and andit's your, your human family was
a lot of people like you had tosurvive that way, but now it's
like you.
You live in your little housewho you don't even know, who
your neighbors are sometimeslike I've been living next to

(47:51):
this dude for 25 years what'shis name?
yeah, you just say, hey,sometimes when you're crossed
paths with the garbage can orthis person over here, someone
moves in like no one goes andwelcomes them anymore because
we're so like this.
But the family you choose andstart building and the friends
you make, you know people thinkblood is thicker than water.

(48:12):
I'm like there's more to thatquote.
First of all, that's just partof it and I don't know the rest
right now, so we can look.
You can look it up and link itlater.
Let's do that.
It's like we choose the friendswe're bringing into our circle,
the godparents of my my, my kidand all that.
Now you're building the familythat you choose for whatever
values, and it's okay to evolveand move and shift and this and

(48:33):
that so.
So it's tough.
Like you're born intoneighborhood.
Do you have to be stuck in thatneighborhood forever?

Speaker 2 (48:38):
No, you know, even hearing you say that, though
Ruben brings me a little bit ofwe don't have to be stuck in the
same neighborhood forever.
Do you know how many familiesI've worked with for the last 22
years now that are stuck?
And maybe it's not the physicaladdress or the blocks, it's a

(49:00):
mentality, right, but for thesake of this example, they just
they believe that they areconfined to this area, a radius,
and you can see that there'sjust no hope for anything more
exciting in their life andthings like that.

(49:21):
And so hearing you say that itjust reminded me maybe of even
the work that's still left to bedone.
You know that there's more.
There's like like you, youdon't have to like.
You have purpose and valueoutside of where you believe you

(49:42):
currently are.
You know what I mean, and so Ithink that that kind of fuels me
as well is that I want peopleto know, as I believe you do
through your work, that theworld is your oyster.
Essentially, we all have apurpose.

(50:03):
It doesn't have to just bewhere we are currently
physically located.
There can be cities around theworld that are waiting to hear
your message.
You may have not known that 15years ago, maybe even further
back right, 15 years ago, maybeeven further back right.
Yet here you are, and nowyou're thinking where else can I

(50:28):
?
You know, how can I get here?
Or you're getting calls fromother countries that want you to
do some work for them.
Just thinking about that isamazing.
Being able to operate in thatspace is amazing.
So that's just more of areflection.
I wanted to stay with familyreally.
So that's just more of areflection.
I wanted to stay with familyreally, really quick.
We're wrapping up, you know,and I have a two-part question I
wanted to ask you since you'vebeen married, what have you
learned about love as a husband,through marriage, what have you

(50:53):
learned about love?
And then the second part iswhat have you learned about love
since becoming a father?

Speaker 1 (51:05):
For what have I learned as a husband?
You know I'm constantlylearning yes, and there's a
couple things.
I'm going to answer it a coupledifferent ways.
There's a couple of things.
I'm going to answer it a coupleof different ways.
Through conversations you startrealizing, like your wife, my
wife said yes to me, they're notagainst me, so why do we get

(51:27):
defensive or triggered forwhatever reason?
So it's like trying to avoidthat conversation because, like
you know, we still get defensive, feeling attacked or whatever
I'm.
Like she's not attacking me,maybe she is, but Sure, she's
not attacking me.
Maybe she is, but she doesn'tmean to be attacking me.
And how do we remove thatconversation from it?
That's an ongoing practice.

(51:48):
But the main lesson, if I'mgoing to say the number one
thing, is don't keep score.
Especially that's going to leadinto the second question, now
that I have my son like there'stimes where I do way more than
my wife does.
But also, let's just take yearone I don't know how many years

(52:09):
it'll take me to even recoverfrom the amount of work they did
in year one.
But that's also the fact.
Like we don't keep score, likeI'm not going to keep score for
that, and just figuring outbalance, because there's going
to be a moment.
If I take off for a week for aproject, it's 100% her and Remy,
so it balances out.

(52:33):
So I think not keeping score inparenting, now that I'm a
father, is a huge, huge thingthat we need to understand.
And I tell myself every daywhen I have a thought pop into
my head and I'm like no, don'tkeep score, don't keep score,
don't keep score, even if maybeshe's keeping a point over here,

(52:56):
like it's, it's not about that,it's not tip for test.
Like we're both in this, for usto both win and for a kid to
win Like does it matter?
We have one goal, let's all win.
Yeah, so I think it balancesout.
So don't keep score.
Now.
Having a son being a fatherdon't have any girls, maybe the

(53:18):
next one's a girl.
A son being a father don't haveany girls.
Maybe the next one's a girl.
We're hoping for a boy, butit's a girl.
We'll see.
Let's see what what that does,what that does for me.
But yeah, I operate in love andI've always been very
empathetic, compassionate andsensitive.
I was always you know, for thelack of a better term like ruben
.
Why are you getting butt hurtbecause I'm sensitive, I'm
emotional, like I take shit toheart, but like having a kid.

(53:40):
Now there is this other levelof like and I'm also a dog guy.
I've had dogs and I've raisedthem from puppies and I've lost
dogs to age and death.
And that's the closestcomparison I can have because I
believe humans.
There's something different,yeah, there is something
different, because I look at himlike that's my little twin and

(54:02):
he's doing what I do.
But that level of unconditionallove you can learn in having an
animal and I think animals arevery important Like we have a
dog.
My kid's going to grow up withanimals.
I think that's a huge thing forpeople.

Speaker 2 (54:13):
My dog is napping right next to me, right here,
the whole time.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (54:21):
But there's this other level of like, next level,
like crazy, like I didn't evenknow that was possible.
And then the next question isthat people ask all the time
they're like how can you do thatagain if you have another kid
and love one more than the other?
Equally, dude, the heart isever expansive.
So this is what that really isyour heart is ever expansive and
continues to grow, evolve andshare love.

(54:43):
There is no limit to your heart.
You could love everything.
I could love my sneakercollection, I could love my dog
and I could love my son and Icould love my wife and I could
love my Like.
We can love all these thingsWith that same passion.

Speaker 2 (55:00):
There is something that happens when that child
comes out of the womb and you'relooking like I had no idea that
I could love, like I didn'texperience this depth of love.
There's something there thatjust switches and you know that

(55:23):
you're changed for life.
Like you said, this is my twin.
Like they're watching everymove of mom and dad.
They're copying whatever we do.
Like, dang, we gotta watch whatwe say.
Did you hear what they justsaid?
You know what I mean.
Like we have these kind ofconversations, but wait a minute
.
They're listening to everything.

(55:44):
They're copying your laugh,your gestures, your mannerisms.
You are their world right andthat feeling right.
There is something so amazingthat it does.
It takes us back a little bittoo, reminds us that awe.
Maybe we have moments wherewe're reminded of that awestruck

(56:05):
sensation that we experiencedat a very young age.
But to see that and then toknow that they're just so
fragile and so dependent on youand you got nothing but love
that you want to pour into thisyoung person, gratitude comes to
mind.
It's literally a miracle tofeel that.
So I'm so happy that you saidthat there's this other level of

(56:28):
love that I think even I'mstill learning, even after the
second child is here.
You don't run out of love, it'smore of God.
I get to do this again.
That's really what it feelslike.
So when you get there, when thetwo of you decided to cross
that bridge and bring anotherbeautiful human into this world,

(56:48):
I mean it overflows.
And maybe this is because yourheart is already in a place of
overflow, so you're justconstantly ready to pour in.
We're tired.
Now I'm like you.
I'm human as well and like lastnight, my four-month she had a
tantrum like I couldn't believe.

(57:08):
I'm just trying to help my wifeout, as she's putting the other
one to sleep, and I'm justtrying to help.
I hold this little four-monthand she's throwing herself back
like she doesn't even, like I'mtrying to murder her.
You know what I'm saying, butstill you're like okay, you know
I got you, you're safe in myarms, and that feeling is
amazing.
We don't get these moments back, that's.

(57:29):
The other thing is that thesefirst four years, you know how
fast a little human grows andthey never do the same thing
that they did, maybe even amonth or two ago.
You're never going to get thoseexperiences back.
Year one to year four, they'redoing completely different stuff
, and so it's like you realizethat, as I'm raising this human,

(57:51):
it sometimes feels like I'mrunning out of time to
experience these other littleamazing moments that they're
discovering for the first time.
So it's just, man, there's justso many layers to it.
So I'm glad that you said that,because, as a father ah, man,
you know what I mean, and so I'memotional all the time.

(58:13):
Um, and I just want to make surethat this child you I'm, as I'm
sure you and your wife do youwant to make sure that this
child, you, as I'm sure you andyour wife do you want to make
sure that remy knows he's lovedand this family, this village,
has all the love to give intoother people's lives, you know.
So what an amazing family foryour son to be born into, to be
able to see this role model forthem.

(58:35):
They're like, hey, in familywe're living through love and
hard times, good times.
We're still pushing through,and this is our message
Unconditionally we're pushingthrough.
So, finally, one last thing Ilike to do with my guests.
I'll read them a quote, andthen I just like to hear how

(58:55):
that resonates with the guest.
Okay, so the quote I have foryou today is the idea of love
seemed appropriate everywhere.
I couldn't find a place wherelove didn't fit.
How does that resonate with you?

Speaker 1 (59:15):
I mean, it's a no brainer, of course.
Course you can't find a placewhere it doesn't fit because
it's essential everywhere andyou know we throw out love as
the answer, as a thing, whetherit was the revolution in the 60s
and you know the hippiemovement of love and every
movement of love.
But it's true, you can't find aplace where it doesn't fit even

(59:39):
, you know, go to a prison.
I've done stuff in prisons andlike these murders, I've talked
to murders and they found likeonce they forgave themselves and
found love with themselves likethey can come back from that.
It doesn't mean they're thishorrible person for the rest of
their lives.
They did a horrible thing andthey get that.

(59:59):
But when love comes back intothat, yeah there is room for
love, they can move on.
Unfortunately, they're a littlescarred with how society is
built, sure, but there is, Imean, it's super fitting.
At the end of the day, it fitseverywhere for the record,
that's your quote from a speechthat you gave a while back yeah,

(01:00:22):
I wasn't sure if you knew thator not.

Speaker 2 (01:00:25):
I just assumed you were going to recognize it, but
that's something that you saidin my head I did, but I didn't.

Speaker 1 (01:00:29):
I didn't want to go like is that mine?
You don't want to see me?

Speaker 2 (01:00:34):
yes, yes, and I'll read it again, because to me
it's just.
I read it and I felt like achanged man because I could,
even in sessions, in therapysessions, that's a nugget that I
can use to share with somebodyelse, to encourage them to not
give up on, you know, to notlose hope.
In that the idea of love seemedappropriate everywhere.

Speaker 1 (01:00:58):
I couldn't find a place where love did not fit,
brother love so funny, because alot of us throw out quotes and
things.
I'm like did I hear thatsomewhere?
Is that one of mine?
So sometimes things getmisappropriated.
And when you said that I'm like, all right, I'm gonna keep
rolling with the exercise, butbecause I'm not making it about

(01:01:19):
me, I'm just giving you theanswer.

Speaker 2 (01:01:23):
That is your quote, that's from your heart, those
are your words and you know.
I think that I wanted to beable to sit with you and reflect
on that alone because I thoughtit was profound and I believe
that that can change lives.
Just the image of love fittingeverywhere.

(01:01:43):
You fit your murals in themiddle of concrete jungles,
right On cars, on tequilabottles or whatever it is.
They fit wherever that yourmessage fits, but love in its
essence can fit anywhere, and itwould be hard to find a place
where love wouldn't fit.
I have worked with some of themost broken people, sat with

(01:02:06):
them through some of the mosttraumatic scenarios in their
life.
I have literally helped orpulled somebody off from a ledge
who was trying to jump off athree-story building, saying no,
not today, you're not dying.
And you sit with that, right.
And why do we do that?
Yeah, fine, we can say it's ourjob.
No, because I got too much lovefor this person.

(01:02:28):
I don't need to know them.
Past 30 minutes ago.
I love you, there's nothing youcan do about it.
I got some love that there'snothing you can do about.
If you don't love me, that'sokay.
I got enough love for the bothof us.
I'll love on me a little extra.
You know what I'm saying, so Ilove you, man.
I I really, really appreciatethis.
This is going to be, um, aconversation that I'll be

(01:02:51):
reflecting back on for manyyears to come just being able to
connect with another man who'snot afraid to connect at the
heart level but is on a goodmission, man, and I really do
believe that the work you'redoing is necessary, and it seems
like you're convinced of thatas well, so I appreciate that,

(01:03:12):
ruben.
Thank you so much, man.
Thank you for sitting with meon the Push Project podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:03:17):
Thank you for having me Keep pushing Pete.

Speaker 2 (01:03:21):
Let's do it.