God Pleaser or People Pleaser?

We often struggle with receiving affirmation from others rather than receiving that love from our Heavenly Father. Have you wrestled with being a "People Pleaser"? Or are you fully surrendered to honoring God and receiving his love daily.

@thepuzzleisreal

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Puzzle is Real podcast where we
will be discussing faith,family, and Relationships
hosted by Matt and MelissaPisani . This is The Puzzle is
Real podcast when you know, youknow.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
All right , welcome back. We're here for another
awesome conversation. And Ijust wanna let you know that
Baby Mags is in the building.
baby Mags is in thebuilding and she is producing
this episode. She's directingand we love her. She's our
youngest. So if you hear her inthe background, just say, oh ,
that's cute. 'cause it won't beforever that she'll wanna sit

(00:36):
with us. Yeah. While we dothese. And again, if you're
just listening for the firsttime, this is a podcast about
family and faith andrelationships. Our testimony.
We were set up on a blind datelooking for love in all the
wrong places, found Jesus fellin love with him. And then all
of a sudden our hairdresser,CJC, my man, Carlton John

(00:59):
Claude, set us up and the restis history.

Speaker 3 (01:04):
Yes. I always share that story 'cause it's such an
encouragement to, I mean, forme to be reminded of it and to
know where we were prior. It'sa crazy story. It's a crazy
story. We met, got engaged infour weeks, married within five
or six months. So when, youknow, you know, that's kind of
our podcast, right? Called ThePuzzle is Real. Because when
you, when the puzzle comestogether, everything becomes

(01:25):
this beautiful reality. Andthat's kind of where we're at.
And also the juggle is real.
'cause we got three kids andmany different hats that we
wear and all of that. But it'sbeautiful and we are excited to
just share about differentexperiences to just uplift and
encourage the body of Christand even just the non-believers
just to hear a differentperspective maybe.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yeah. So if you're an atheist or agnostic or
you're just not in the , uh,season of fully surrendering
your life to God, you'rewelcome to listen and we love
you and we want you tohopefully be encouraged through
this. So , um, it's, it's beenon my heart lately. You talk
about love and relationshipsand maybe even finding the one.

(02:06):
And we know who the true oneis. The , the the true love
that we have for God and forfor Jesus Christ. The , um, the
area of affirmation and, andbeing affirmed has been really
on my heart. I do not likesocial media and I don't like
posting, which is interesting'cause I love being out and
doing , um, things with people.
I like being social. I likedoing art and creating, but I

(02:29):
don't really like social media.
And I think it's because I , Ibelieve it's almost all fake.
But in that , um, I understandthat it's an important tool and
I try to sometimes put outposts. So recently I was
working on this post, I'm gonnalet you guys know what it is it
, it'll be out by the time youhear this podcast. But the post
was basically me remindingmyself that God's approval is

(02:53):
the only one that matters.
'cause a lot of times, evenwith a post, it could take you
three to five attempts. And nowI'm speaking to the 30 and over
club . If you are trying tocreate this post, make sure
that it's spelled correctly.
Making sure that the video, thepicture in there , the time
that goes in to creating a postthat's purposeful takes time
sometimes. Yeah. And there'ssome people that are just good

(03:15):
at it and they can just killit. And , um, there's others
that use AI to do it. Good foryou. But in all of this, it's a
reminder of what reallymatters. When we're doing
things like that, we're notlooking for the affirmation of
man or for one another. Andsometimes we'll fall into that
and not realize it. And some ofus are looking for it. Mm-hmm
. But we're notcalled to do that. We're called

(03:35):
to only, and most importantly,receive our affirmation from
the father, from our father inheaven. And it's important that
when we get caught looking forthe affirmation of others, that
we redirect our focus to God.
Because you'll be let downevery time. It could be a new
friendship, a new relationship.
It could be a dating situationwhere you look for your cup to
be filled by that person,family, and eventually mm-hmm

(03:58):
. Yeah. They'regonna let you down. And then
you're gonna have this reallytough season of beating
yourself up and allowing thedevil who I like to call the
enemy to come in and have afield day with you. So for
those of you that e today , youare loved, you are seen, you're
worthy. And you have someonethat loves you more than anyone
else. And that's Jesus Christ.
So with that to be said, I justwanted to really dive in today

(04:21):
about what it means to walk inaffirmation. And if you are
feeling total freedom of any ofthis, where you're like, ah , I
don't have a problem with that.
I feel the love of the fatherevery day. Be the one that
affirms those around you thatneed that affirmation. Be the
one that reaches out and says,Hey, like, you look amazing
today. Mm-hmm .
And that's like guy to guy in ,um, you know, or girl to girl,

(04:41):
you know , or to your spouse,but hey, like, you look
awesome, or, I love thosesneakers. Or, Hey, like, you
killed it last week when I sawyou, you know, leading worship,
if you're in the music scene oryou know, you're, you're doing
awesome at your job. I thinkthat words of affirmation can
really break down the lies thatthe enemy has told us. And the
lies that we still go intoagreement with, with our own

(05:03):
insecurities. And insecuritiesusually come from the root of
something. My insecurities, oneof them that I share publicly,
and I've done this for over adecade, is I'll share about my
insecurity. When I was a kidand I was chubby mm-hmm
. And I was, Ifelt overweight, I felt fat.
And I remember kids calling meFat Matt as a kid, and it
sounds funny, they're like ,but I had a season where I was

(05:26):
being verbally abused,physically abused, which led to
a lot of my anger and addictionand crazy lifestyle, which some
of you have heard testimony ofthat God got me out of. But the
cool thing is that I'm able toshare with people that that
depiction of who people said Iwas and who they said I was
gonna be, was broken throughthe blood of Jesus. And a lot

(05:46):
of times, we'll go back to likemoments where someone can make
you still feel like your little7-year-old self. You know? And
you'd be like, oh man, someonesays something the wrong way or
makes a comment that strikes achord or hits something a wound
that you haven't dealt with.
And, and you need to give it toGod. So I hope that this
episode just affirms you toknow that God hears you, hears

(06:06):
your insecurities. And it'sokay to sometimes feel
insecure, but don't let itmaster you. And allow for
moments of, say, even posting asocial post to be a bridge to
somebody. And , and also don'tallow that outcome to define
who you are. Whether it's amillion views, one view, two

(06:27):
likes. 'cause every time you doput something out that is
glorifying God and magnifyinghis name, it's gonna be used.
Someone's gonna be ministeredby it. So what are the things
that are stopping you fromreceiving his love? And , and
what are the things that youmight see as , um, a road
blocker? And I don't know ifmost wants to add anything to

(06:47):
this that I'm already kind ofgoing deep on, but it's just
important that we recognizethat and we also constantly
renew our mind to receive hislove.

Speaker 3 (06:56):
Yeah. And I think I know a lot of people in my life
who are people pleasers andthat it's exhausting for them
because they're constantlytrying to uphold this idea that
they're gonna fill someoneelse's bucket. Mm-hmm
. And if theydon't do it, that they're gonna
disappoint them. And I feellike once you are free from
that, there's so much justbreathing room and freedom that

(07:20):
you're, we wanna be Godpleasers and not people
pleasers. And it's okay to sayno because if you're saying yes
to everything, you are gonna beflooded. You're gonna be
exhausted. Oh yeah . And wewanna be a river and not a
flood. So I think it's soimportant that if we say no to
something, we can say yes tosomething else. And I think
we've shared that in a previousepisode. Sorry, Magnolia is

(07:42):
playing a game. Um, but yeah ,we really want to honor God
with our time and to do thethings that are pleasing to
him. Because even like Matt wastalking about social media, and
that's fine and I don't like iteither, but I have to do it
because it's, I don't have todo it. But it's like, you
wanna, I use it to encourageother people to talk about
motherhood or relationships. Idon't do it to be like, Hey,

(08:05):
look at me. 'cause you know,everyone makes makes it seem
like their life is perfect,mommy . And we know that the
life is not perfect. So don'tget caught up on what you're
seeing on social media, in thenews, on tv, because it's not
reality. You know, when you'reactually spending time with
those people where their liveslook perfect, you can see all
the flaws and you're like, wow,that is so contradictory to

(08:27):
what they're putting out there.
And that's not to say thatthat's everyone's situation,
but I think that's just , it'sa facade because it's anyone
behind a computer or phone canmake anything look the way that
they want. I mean, look at thefilters that are on Instagram
and AI and all these things.
It's like half these peopledon't even look that way. So
our point here is to, we wantto honor God and to please God

(08:51):
with all that we do. And thatwe don't have to be anything
but ourselves for him. We cancome to him ugly, chaotic,
uncertain, because we can givehim all of these burdens and
all of these , um, insecuritiesand all of our hopes and dreams
and prayers. We just bring themto him and he is going to

(09:12):
answer that. It's not a personor you know, someone that you
have a high regard to. It's Godultimately. So I think that we
have to get out of our own waysometimes because we're always
looking for the affirmation ofman or a title or a status or
whatever that may look like.
But ultimately we are all thesame. We are all created in the

(09:34):
image of God, and he has aspecial calling and plan for
our life. But we have to situnder his authority to say,
what do you want me to do withmy life? And how am I
glorifying you and notglorifying myself? Because we
don't wanna constantly putourself first because that's
just being self-centered. Wewant to say, Hey, how do you

(09:54):
wanna use me with my gifts andtalents that you've given me to
glorify you and to bring othersto know you? That's the
important part.

Speaker 2 (10:02):
Yeah. There's a , um, there's always a voice
that's gonna come alongside to, uh, make you feel inadequate
or make you feel like you'renot wanted. And it can be
silly, but it's sometimes thatconstant voice that will lead
to you separating from maybeyour community and , and your
friends and and family. So justallow yourself each day to

(10:26):
surrender your will for God'swill. Allow yourself each day
to, to sit with him or walkwith him or ride your bike and
, and spend some time to justbe in his presence. And , and
that can be a great way toreceive his love and his
affirmation so that as the daygoes on and you know, you don't
get the job promotion or youdon't get the grade you wanted

(10:48):
in school, or you don't getthat , um, that big opportunity
that you were hoping for,you're able to , to deal with
it through a spiritual lens andnot a a an earthly lens where
now you're saying, all right ,like, like God has me and, and
will always have me. And I'm,I'm sitting in his lap right
now allowing him to affirm andlove me 'cause he's my dad.

(11:09):
And, and that's just a reminderto each listener that might be
going through something todayin the area of feeling not
worthy or maybe not seen. So welove you guys and we hope that
this is just another greatnugget for you to just put in
the arsenal when the day is notas , um, positive or joyful.
Right. There are days wherewe're not , we we're not

(11:31):
content. Right. And , um, realtalk, there are days where I
will wrestle with contentmentand I have no excuse to not be
content. But that's the enemy'sway to try to allow us to be
distracted from what God wantsus to do today. So today's the
day to reject distraction inJesus' name. So Lord, we just
pray that you would reject anydistractions in our minds and

(11:52):
in our hearts right now thataren't a view . Allow us to do
all that you've called us to dotoday. In your mighty name, we
pray in Jesus' mighty name.
Amen.

Speaker 3 (12:00):
Amen. All right .
Well thank you guys forlistening. We ask that you
would share this to those whomay need this encouraging word
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listen. That would be helpful.
That way more people can hearthe message that God has put on
our heart to share with youall. So we appreciate your time

(12:22):
and we will see you soon later.
Hey guys, thanks so much forlistening to the Puzzle is Real
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