September 2, 2023 • 10 mins
Join Matt and Melissa as they discuss doing what's best for you and your family regardless of the advice you receive from the peanut gallery.
@puzzleisreal
www.mattandmelissapisani.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Puzzle is Real podcast where we
will be discussing faith,family, and Relationships
hosted by Matt and MelissaPisani . This is The Puzzle is
Real podcast when you know, youknow,
Speaker 2 (00:16):
And we are,
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Hey guys, welcome back. We are excited. You are
tuning in to this next episodeof Faith, family and
Relationships. And tonight weare going to talk about family.
Yes. And parenting morespecifically.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Parenting advice given by many, especially those
from the peanut gallery,there's always someone that
wants to give you great advicehow they did it, whether
they're a mother or a father.
And it's not to be sarcastic orcondescending, we're just gonna
have a fun conversation aboutthings that we're glad we
didn't do. And we always takein advice. You always wanna get
(00:55):
counsel from people that havebeen there before, but it's not
always the same for you andyour children. Right?
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Yeah, exactly. I was just gonna say that it's more
about everyone's experience istotally different. Everyone's
nurturing levels are different.
There's certain people that canput down their baby, have them
cry for 20 minutes and walkaway and be fine. And there's
people like me who if I hearthem make a little peep, I'm
like, oh, let me get the baby.
(01:21):
I mean, but that's just who Iam. So yeah, we just kind of
wanna cover some parentingadvice that we're happy we
didn't take.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Yep .
Speaker 1 (01:31):
And first one is, many people in my life have
told me, when you become a mom,you know when your baby cries,
don't pick them up. And I justdid not listen to it because
when I became a mom, my mamaheart just exploded every time
that they were crying. 'cause Iknew that , that they needed
nurturing, they needed love,they needed to eat, they needed
(01:53):
their diaper changed , likesomething was going on that I
knew I needed to take care of.
So it's not that I was spoilingthem, it's just that I love
them and I want them to behappy and I don't want them to
cry. So I did. And I do pickthem up every time they
cry.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Yeah. I think as a, as a dad and a father, it's
different and we don't have asdeep of the connection
obviously. 'cause we do notgive birth to the children. So
I think there were times whereyou'd be like over the top in a
good way where I'd be like, ah, they'll be okay. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
I think
Speaker 2 (02:23):
and it
wasn't to be like insensitive,
but you just ,
Speaker 1 (02:25):
He would let them cry it out a little bit. And
meanwhile I'm like dying on theinside. Like I cannot listen to
this crying. I have to pickthem up.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Which is really awesome that that's your heart.
'cause not everyone has thatinnately in them. So that's
great. 'cause it's turned intoa really amazing start for our
kids as they're growing andknowing what it really means to
be like nurtured and loved andjust , um, unconditional, you
know, care and just , uh, abeautiful just way for them to
(02:56):
realize that you know, it's um,it's okay for them to need you
and the , you don't have to dotough love in those types of
situations.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Yeah. Especially when they're a baby. Because if
all of you guys who are outthere who have kids, you know
how short that baby phase trulyis. I mean the newborn phase is
like the first eight weeks.
That's it. And then they turninto more mobile, more
expressive, more aware. So it'slike, it's this window you,
when you're in it, you feellike you're in there forever
(03:26):
and you're like, oh my gosh,when am I gonna get out of this
fog? Because as you moms know,you're in this like mommy fog
for quite some time becauseyou're getting no sleep. And if
you're nursing, like you'reexhausted because you're doing
that around the clock and noone can really help with the
feedings. So we've all beenthere, but it really is now
that we have three children, welook at Mercy who's gonna be
(03:48):
six in a few months and we'relike, oh my goodness. It goes
so fast. And I know so manypeople have told us, told you
guys, I'm sure you know, don'tblink your eyes 'cause it goes
quick and you don't realizethat it does. Especially when
you're in the thick of it. Youare like, oh my goodness, is
this ever gonna get easier? Andthen it does. And then it's
(04:09):
over. So it's like you have toenjoy each and every moment.
And I think that's the reasonalso that I hold the baby so
much because I know thatthey're only gonna be a baby
for so long and they're notgonna be want , you know , I'm
not gonna want to be held, youknow, as they get older.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Yeah, that's good.
And you know, I advice isdifferent than like statements
that are true. And that's atrue statement that used to
always make me be like, ohyeah, yeah. When people would
be like, oh, they grew up sofast. Right. You just thought
it was like a generic thingthat mm-hmm.
parents that have parentedbefore. You just say, but then
you get in it and you're like,wow, this does go pretty quick.
'cause you're multitasking withfamily and work and just
(04:47):
responsibilities and Yep . Andit's, yeah. So that's , uh,
that's a true statement forthose that are praying about
having kids that listen to usand listen to these episodes.
And it's a true statementobviously as you're walking
through it and watching themgrow before your eyes.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Yeah. And another one that people always said,
and even in the hospital , after you have your
baby, they're like, you cannotfall asleep with the baby.
Don't co-sleep. It's sodangerous, blah, blah , blah.
But honestly,
Speaker 2 (05:14):
The co-sleeping, I feel like throughout the years
we've been told, you gotta becareful co-sleeping. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
I mean it can be and yes , dangerous if, you know,
you rolled on the baby,
Speaker 2 (05:22):
You hear horror stories, you
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Hear horror stories.
But I think for me at least,
Speaker 2 (05:27):
And we always had a barrier with the pillows,
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Always had a barrier. And I always had them
like either on top of me whereI'm like laying on my back and
they're just sleeping on me orjust right next to me. And then
I just put pillows all aroundus. But honestly, that was the
only way that I could sleepalso. 'cause every time I heard
the baby have like any sort ofpeep, I'm like, oh, they're
awake. I have to get them. Soit just, it relaxed me. It
relaxed them and that was theway that I was able to sleep
(05:52):
with them.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Yeah . And I've always just done the flip, like
instead of like facing towardsyou guys, I'll flip and get to
this edge of the bed. So I'mlike, I will not roll over on
this child. I will
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Not. Yeah . And we always have pillows between us
too , so ,
Speaker 2 (06:04):
You know, extra safety, extra precaution. Yes .
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Safety precautions for sure.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
I'd rather roll out of the bed and land on the
floor. So yeah, no , I thinkwe've been have , you know,
just a lot of favor with that,that we're able to do it and
before you know it, they'reindependent and in their own
little cozy land.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Yeah. And another piece of advice that people
have said to me, and I don'tknow if they've said this to
you too, Matt, was, you know,travel, do all the things
before you have the kids andYep . I just find now being a
parent that I wanna travel withthem because you're
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Seeing absolutely the
Speaker 1 (06:38):
World through their eyes now. And it just, it's so
much fun. I just feel likeit's, it's so much more fun and
it brings life to whateveryou're doing because they're
just so excited to be doing itwith you.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Yeah. And there's like a couple of examples I
could give everyone. You know,last year I had a , uh, a
conference I had to go to up inPhiladelphia and I brought the
family with me and mm-hmm .
, I had a greattime knowing that they were
there in between the things Ihad to get done. And Melissa
got to have some fun goingthrough , uh, the midtown area
of Philly and mm-hmm .
(07:09):
just , um, thatincorporated into the ministry
that we've been called intodifferent things that we do. Uh
, we were just on a trip wherewe brought the kids with us to
Atlanta mm-hmm .. And we have some fun stuff
coming with that. For those ofyou that don't follow clean
slate living on social media.
We got a new series coming outwith Jake, the snake Roberts
(07:30):
from the old w w f days. Andyou know, the kids knew all
about it. They were literallyinformed understanding why we
were going to Atlanta mm-hmm .
to go meet Jakeand to film him and his
daughter. And even though theyweren't on set with us, they
were part of that wholeexperience just knowing that
they were included to , um, thehighest degree. And I think
(07:52):
that's really important. Andeven the trips, the vacations,
like Melissa said, so fun doinglife with them and seeing the
world through their eyes too.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
It's really, until you experience it, I don't
think you truly understand andjust how, like Matt and I'll
joke around sometimes, we'relike, man, we had so much free
time before we had kids. Like,what were we doing?
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Yeah . How much time were we wasting just like binge
watching movies and orderinglate night dominoes? Yeah , no
, because
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Now it's like we don't have as much time and I'm
not complaining, it's just ourdays are much more full. Right
. Because now we have threekids, you know, we have a
nonprofit , we have a lot ofdifferent things that we're ,
um, a part of and that we aredefinitely more of the
entrepreneur type mindedpeople, so we're always working
on something. But yeah, nowwith obviously they're our
(08:45):
number one priority is ourkids. And yeah, so we just, we
have some funny stories wewanted to share with you guys
and also just parenting advicethat sometimes we don't need to
take because every experienceis different and every child is
different and you might thinkyou're gonna be one way before
(09:05):
you have kids and then you havekids and you're completely
different. So a verse that wewould want to leave you guys
with is Proverbs 22 6. And thatis train up a child in the way
he should go, even when he isold, he will not depart from
it.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
And that's advice that we will take all day long
is just knowing that we'reraising up disciples and we're
raising our children to havingintimate relationship, a
personal relationship withJesus Christ, following God's
word, living for him, doing hiswill. And that's, that's the
great reward and that's thebest advice we could give
anyone that's listening todaymm-hmm. , don't
(09:42):
ever be ashamed to raise yourkids in that, that way of
knowing that it's more than areligion, it's relationship
with Jesus and that the fruitthat falls from that man, it's
endless, it's eternal.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Amen. Preach so, and just remember, be flexible and
just go with the flow becauseparenting is an awesome
rollercoaster and it's the bestthing that you could do is to
get married and have children.
That is the best advice I cangive you guys. We will see you
next time. Thanks for listeninglater. Hey guys, thanks so much
(10:17):
for listening to the Puzzle IsReal podcast. Please subscribe
today and share with thefriend. See you soon.
Welcome to the Puzzle is Real podcast where we
will be discussing faith,family, and Relationships
hosted by Matt and MelissaPisani . This is The Puzzle is
Real podcast when you know, youknow,
Speaker 2 (00:16):
And we are,
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Hey guys, welcome back. We are excited. You are
tuning in to this next episodeof Faith, family and
Relationships. And tonight weare going to talk about family.
Yes. And parenting morespecifically.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Parenting advice given by many, especially those
from the peanut gallery,there's always someone that
wants to give you great advicehow they did it, whether
they're a mother or a father.
And it's not to be sarcastic orcondescending, we're just gonna
have a fun conversation aboutthings that we're glad we
didn't do. And we always takein advice. You always wanna get
(00:55):
counsel from people that havebeen there before, but it's not
always the same for you andyour children. Right?
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Yeah, exactly. I was just gonna say that it's more
about everyone's experience istotally different. Everyone's
nurturing levels are different.
There's certain people that canput down their baby, have them
cry for 20 minutes and walkaway and be fine. And there's
people like me who if I hearthem make a little peep, I'm
like, oh, let me get the baby.
(01:21):
I mean, but that's just who Iam. So yeah, we just kind of
wanna cover some parentingadvice that we're happy we
didn't take
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Yep .
Speaker 1 (01:31):
And first one is, many people in my life have
told me, when you become a mom,you know when your baby cries,
don't pick them up. And I justdid not listen to it because
when I became a mom, my mamaheart just exploded every time
that they were crying. 'cause Iknew that , that they needed
nurturing, they needed love,they needed to eat, they needed
(01:53):
their diaper changed , likesomething was going on that I
knew I needed to take care of.
So it's not that I was spoilingthem, it's just that I love
them and I want them to behappy and I don't want them to
cry. So I did. And I do pickthem up
cry.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Yeah. I think as a, as a dad and a father, it's
different and we don't have asdeep of the connection
obviously. 'cause we do notgive birth to the children. So
I think there were times whereyou'd be like over the top in a
good way where I'd be like, ah, they'll be okay. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
I think
Speaker 2 (02:23):
but you just ,
Speaker 1 (02:25):
He would let them cry it out a little bit. And
meanwhile I'm like dying on theinside. Like I cannot listen to
this crying. I have to pickthem up.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Which is really awesome that that's your heart.
'cause not everyone has thatinnately in them. So that's
great. 'cause it's turned intoa really amazing start for our
kids as they're growing andknowing what it really means to
be like nurtured and loved andjust , um, unconditional, you
know, care and just , uh, abeautiful just way for them to
(02:56):
realize that you know, it's um,it's okay for them to need you
and the , you don't have to dotough love in those types of
situations.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Yeah. Especially when they're a baby. Because if
all of you guys who are outthere who have kids, you know
how short that baby phase trulyis. I mean the newborn phase is
like the first eight weeks.
That's it. And then they turninto more mobile, more
expressive, more aware. So it'slike, it's this window you,
when you're in it, you feellike you're in there forever
(03:26):
and you're like, oh my gosh,when am I gonna get out of this
fog? Because as you moms know,you're in this like mommy fog
for quite some time becauseyou're getting no sleep. And if
you're nursing, like you'reexhausted because you're doing
that around the clock and noone can really help with the
feedings. So we've all beenthere, but it really is now
that we have three children, welook at Mercy who's gonna be
(03:48):
six in a few months and we'relike, oh my goodness. It goes
so fast. And I know so manypeople have told us, told you
guys, I'm sure you know, don'tblink your eyes 'cause it goes
quick and you don't realizethat it does. Especially when
you're in the thick of it. Youare like, oh my goodness, is
this ever gonna get easier? Andthen it does. And then it's
(04:09):
over. So it's like you have toenjoy each and every moment.
And I think that's the reasonalso that I hold the baby so
much because I know thatthey're only gonna be a baby
for so long and they're notgonna be want , you know , I'm
not gonna want to be held, youknow, as they get older.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Yeah, that's good.
And you know, I advice isdifferent than like statements
that are true. And that's atrue statement that used to
always make me be like, ohyeah, yeah. When people would
be like, oh, they grew up sofast. Right. You just thought
it was like a generic thingthat mm-hmm.
parents that have parentedbefore. You just say, but then
you get in it and you're like,wow, this does go pretty quick.
'cause you're multitasking withfamily and work and just
(04:47):
responsibilities and Yep . Andit's, yeah. So that's , uh,
that's a true statement forthose that are praying about
having kids that listen to usand listen to these episodes.
And it's a true statementobviously as you're walking
through it and watching themgrow before your eyes.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Yeah. And another one that people always said,
and even in the hospital
baby, they're like, you cannotfall asleep with the baby.
Don't co-sleep. It's sodangerous, blah, blah , blah.
But honestly,
Speaker 2 (05:14):
The co-sleeping, I feel like throughout the years
we've been told, you gotta becareful co-sleeping. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
I mean it can be and yes , dangerous if, you know,
you rolled on the baby,
Speaker 2 (05:22):
You hear horror stories, you
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Hear horror stories.
But I think for me at least,
Speaker 2 (05:27):
And we always had a barrier with the pillows,
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Always had a barrier. And I always had them
like either on top of me whereI'm like laying on my back and
they're just sleeping on me orjust right next to me. And then
I just put pillows all aroundus. But honestly, that was the
only way that I could sleepalso. 'cause every time I heard
the baby have like any sort ofpeep, I'm like, oh, they're
awake. I have to get them. Soit just, it relaxed me. It
relaxed them and that was theway that I was able to sleep
(05:52):
with them.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Yeah . And I've always just done the flip, like
instead of like facing towardsyou guys, I'll flip and get to
this edge of the bed. So I'mlike, I will not roll over on
this child. I will
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Not. Yeah . And we always have pillows between us
too , so ,
Speaker 2 (06:04):
You know, extra safety, extra precaution. Yes .
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Safety precautions for sure.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
I'd rather roll out of the bed and land on the
floor. So yeah, no , I thinkwe've been have , you know,
just a lot of favor with that,that we're able to do it and
before you know it, they'reindependent and in their own
little cozy land.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Yeah. And another piece of advice that people
have said to me, and I don'tknow if they've said this to
you too, Matt, was, you know,travel, do all the things
before you have the kids andYep . I just find now being a
parent that I wanna travel withthem because you're
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Seeing absolutely the
Speaker 1 (06:38):
World through their eyes now. And it just, it's so
much fun. I just feel likeit's, it's so much more fun and
it brings life to whateveryou're doing because they're
just so excited to be doing itwith you.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Yeah. And there's like a couple of examples I
could give everyone. You know,last year I had a , uh, a
conference I had to go to up inPhiladelphia and I brought the
family with me and mm-hmm .
there in between the things Ihad to get done. And Melissa
got to have some fun goingthrough , uh, the midtown area
of Philly and mm-hmm .
(07:09):
that we've been called intodifferent things that we do. Uh
, we were just on a trip wherewe brought the kids with us to
Atlanta mm-hmm .
coming with that. For those ofyou that don't follow clean
slate living on social media.
We got a new series coming outwith Jake, the snake Roberts
(07:30):
from the old w w f days. Andyou know, the kids knew all
about it. They were literallyinformed understanding why we
were going to Atlanta mm-hmm .
daughter. And even though theyweren't on set with us, they
were part of that wholeexperience just knowing that
they were included to , um, thehighest degree. And I think
(07:52):
that's really important. Andeven the trips, the vacations,
like Melissa said, so fun doinglife with them and seeing the
world through their eyes too.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
It's really, until you experience it, I don't
think you truly understand andjust how, like Matt and I'll
joke around sometimes, we'relike, man, we had so much free
time before we had kids. Like,what were we doing?
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Yeah . How much time were we wasting just like binge
watching movies and orderinglate night dominoes? Yeah , no
, because
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Now it's like we don't have as much time and I'm
not complaining, it's just ourdays are much more full. Right
. Because now we have threekids, you know, we have a
nonprofit , we have a lot ofdifferent things that we're ,
um, a part of and that we aredefinitely more of the
entrepreneur type mindedpeople, so we're always working
on something. But yeah, nowwith obviously they're our
(08:45):
number one priority is ourkids. And yeah, so we just, we
have some funny stories wewanted to share with you guys
and also just parenting advicethat sometimes we don't need to
take because every experienceis different and every child is
different and you might thinkyou're gonna be one way before
(09:05):
you have kids and then you havekids and you're completely
different. So a verse that wewould want to leave you guys
with is Proverbs 22 6. And thatis train up a child in the way
he should go, even when he isold, he will not depart from
it.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
And that's advice that we will take all day long
is just knowing that we'reraising up disciples and we're
raising our children to havingintimate relationship, a
personal relationship withJesus Christ, following God's
word, living for him, doing hiswill. And that's, that's the
great reward and that's thebest advice we could give
anyone that's listening todaymm-hmm.
(09:42):
ever be ashamed to raise yourkids in that, that way of
knowing that it's more than areligion, it's relationship
with Jesus and that the fruitthat falls from that man, it's
endless, it's eternal.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Amen. Preach so, and just remember, be flexible and
just go with the flow becauseparenting is an awesome
rollercoaster and it's the bestthing that you could do is to
get married and have children.
That is the best advice I cangive you guys. We will see you
next time. Thanks for listeninglater. Hey guys, thanks so much
(10:17):
for listening to the Puzzle IsReal podcast. Please subscribe
today and share with thefriend. See you soon.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Intentionally Disturbing
Join me on this podcast as I navigate the murky waters of human behavior, current events, and personal anecdotes through in-depth interviews with incredible people—all served with a generous helping of sarcasm and satire. After years as a forensic and clinical psychologist, I offer a unique interview style and a low tolerance for bullshit, quickly steering conversations toward depth and darkness. I honor the seriousness while also appreciating wit. I’m your guide through the twisted labyrinth of the human psyche, armed with dark humor and biting wit.