February 14, 2023 • 18 mins
There are times when miscommunication can lead to a MISSED expectation. Join Matt and Melissa on this encouraging and insightful episode. Learn how to remain content when expectations are not met in your daily life.
www.mattandmelissapisani.com
@puzzleisreal
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Puzzle is Real podcast where we will be
(00:03):
discussing faith, family, andrelationships hosted by Matt and
Melissa Pisani.
This is the Puzzle is realpodcast when you know, you know,
Speaker 2 (00:16):
All right, it is time.
It's time.
We back, we back, we do it, weknow it.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
We're back in the game.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Hey, we just did a, uh, sound check and Melissa
Burped,
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Sorry.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
We should have saved it.
But maybe in the future, don't
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Tell people that.
I don't act like a ladysometimes.
.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
You just gotta be real.
Sometimes we are not studiopodcasters.
This is the raw uncut.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Well, this is just real talk.
This is just us havingconversations and talking about
real situations, real life.
Because you know what, that'swhat people need to hear.
They need to hear about the realstuff, not the Instagram filter.
Fluffy stuff.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Yeah.
You know what what I'm saying?
Preach, preach.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Just saying some people's lives are great and
glamorous up on social media,but when you're around them
you're like, whoa, this is waydifferent than what you portray.
So we real,
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Yeah, that's like a, what I say, that's a little bit
of a misinterpretation ofreality, you know?
Speaker 3 (01:23):
But what are we talking when I, oh, sorry.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Well, I was just gonna say, you know, when I put
that filter on and make mycomplexion look real nice and
shiny and then all of a sudden Irealize that I don't have a nice
complexion.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Yes you do.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
and I have to
make sure that I put on my
makeup.
Wait, what am I talking about?
That's another, that's anothercrazy topic, right?
Anyway, back on.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Anyway, back on track.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
So, hey, we've got some fun tonight and today and
tomorrow, whenever you listen tothis in the future, miss
communication, we can be reallypoor at communicating and it can
lead to a missed expectation.
We're not trying to be cute withour wording, but we've just been
(02:07):
realizing, like throughout ourrelationship of building towards
our goal of being unified overand over and over again till
eternity as husband and wife,there are times where I don't
communicate properly.
Example number one, go for it.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
What's that?
.
Sometimes what with working?
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
So sometimes, you know, he'lltell me, oh, I'll be done by
five 30.
So in my mind I'm like, okay,he'll be done by seven
because I used to expect him tobe done at a certain time that
he tells me.
And then obviously things comeup, reality comes, you know, the
(02:47):
ball just keeps rolling and youget sucked into workland and
don't realize how much more timeyou are taking.
So instead of me being the huffypuffy wife, like, ah, you told
me that you were gonna gonna bedone at five 30 and now you're
here at seven.
So now it's like, I don't expecthim to be done at certain time.
And I know he tries to give methe accurate time, but sometimes
(03:09):
things happen.
So now I do not expect it.
And now I don't have a missedexpectation because now I know
just to add time to whenyou tell me.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Yeah.
And I have to try to honor yourtime.
And I know there's times, no punintended, times time, time
Speaker 3 (03:24):
That
Speaker 2 (03:26):
It just doesn't happen.
Things happen.
But this is the good news.
We continually clean our slateand start over.
Message
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Beep beep.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
So here's another one.
Is it my turn?
Yeah.
Oh, I thought we were gettingcrumble cookie tonight.
.
Sometimes we'll talk about likeour sweet treat cravings.
And I'm like, oh man, thatsounds good.
And I'm thinking that Melissa'salready ordering it and that the
Uber eats guys dropping it off,you know, first world problems.
(03:59):
And then I find out that thecookies were not ordered and now
I'm hangry cuz I wanted thosesweet treats.
And
Speaker 3 (04:05):
I'm like, oh, I didn't know you really wanted me
to order them.
And he's like, yeah, of course
Speaker 2 (04:09):
I did.
You didn't, you didn't make adessert tonight.
We don't have any, we don't haveany cookie dough sitting on the
sideline while you're managingthree children.
Yeah, exactly.
How dare I.
So yeah, I think that it's justreally important that we get
better at communicating aspeople with friends, with
family, especially withstrangers.
It could go from just a salesexchange, right?
(04:30):
You could be saying, Hey, I'm,I'm shopping for a vehicle.
I'm looking for a car, and Ihave this expectation of, of
what's gonna happen.
And then all of a sudden thatsalesperson doesn't communicate
properly and you, you sign a baddeal, right?
And you're like, wait, this isone I signed up for.
This isn't the deal I wanted.
So it could be in that case, Ialso think about like, with
(04:52):
relationships we've gone throughlike a lot of interesting, I
feel like moments where we havefriends or people that we're
either hosting or they'rehosting us and there's terrible
communication.
It's like, oh yeah.
It's like, oh yeah.
Like, we'll, we'll get together.
Um, you come over, we'll make,we'll make a nice meal.
Um, yeah, don't worry.
(05:12):
Don't bring anything.
And then we like show up at thisperson's house and nobody knows
who these people are.
We're just, this is hypotheticalscenarios through the years,
right?
And like the meals aren't ready.
Um, there's a bowl of pretzels.
We're starving and weknow we're not eating until like
eight o'clock at night.
And it's just, that's how it'sgoing down.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Well, and the thing is, that goes back to
expectation, right?
Because like Matt and I, we liketo host, we like to have people
over.
We always, you know, fill uppeople's glasses of water, tell
them where the drinks are, orgive it to them and have plenty
of food.
You know, that's just our lovelanguage.
We like to make people feelcomfortable.
Like there's just more thanenough to go around.
But sometimes when you go toother people's homes, you don't
(05:54):
know what to expect, but youexpect them to do it the way
that you do it.
It and then they don't.
Right?
So that's a missed expectation,right?
So instead of us going tosituations expecting people to
do what we are gonna do, wecan't go into that like that
because it's just like readingsomeone's mind.
We can't read minds.
We, we don't know that person'slife.
Um, so you have to go there withan open mind, open heart, and
(06:17):
realize that setting yourself upfor expectation, for a certain
expectation, you're always gonnabe di disappointed.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Yeah.
And just side note, little babyMags was with us on these
podcast episodes.
So yes.
If you hear Melissa patting theback of our child,
Speaker 3 (06:31):
I'm sorry,,
Speaker 2 (06:32):
That's, that's not me rubbing my belly thinking about
the food.
Um, yeah.
And I think that's really a goodpoint for everyone.
Something to think about.
I think that we put a lot ofpressure on other people to meet
our expectations and when itdoesn't work out, we blame them
when really it's, it's not theirfault.
We all as human beings have likea certain level of like, all
(06:54):
right, well this is where itneeds to be, right?
And if it goes below there, oh,what?
Like they didn't have x, y, Z atthe party when they were hosting
and didn't have my favorites.
Like, it, it's actually like alittle crazy how we tend to
criticize one another.
And I'm speaking to myself, likeif I go to somewhere and I'm
like, oh man, well I would'vedone it differently.
(07:14):
Well of course I would've doneit differently cuz I know what I
like.
Right?
Not everybody knows what Mattwants to eat and, and drink and,
you know,
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Doesn't know that you drink literally 20 glasses of
water in like five minutes.
Yes.
Like sometimes there's no waterwhere we are.
Oh.
Or very minimal.
And Matt's like, I am so thirstyright now because people don't
know that he's drinking so hedrinks so much water.
So when we go to a restaurantlike as a joke, I'm like, you
can just leave the pitcher cuzyou're gonna have to keep coming
(07:43):
back.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Cause this is a yes ladies a joke.
It real thing, this is a realthing.
I have been in restaurants andthey have said, the waiter or
waitress have said, wow, I'venever seen someone consume as
much water as you do, sir.
And I said, just keep it coming.
And it's not to show off I lovewater, it is my favorite
beverage and I will drink ituntil I pee and I will drink it
(08:05):
throughout the night.
So when we go to a, a restaurantand they're not filling up the
water as a former waiter and uh,someone in the food and beverage
business, right?
That could be very frustrating.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
And another thing just to kind of, I don't know if
this is, this kind of ties intoit, but we are actually
listening to a message from ourchurch this past Sunday and
going back to expectations andalso just relationships, right?
We're so me focused like me, me,me, what I want, what I need.
How is this gonna make me feelbetter or make me feel loved?
(08:40):
And so he brought up justactually the topic of love and
Valentine's Day coming up or youknow, around that right?
Love fest.
Time and love is actually notwhat the other person can do for
you.
It's supposed to be asacrificial love, what we should
be doing for that person.
That's how God has intended it.
(09:01):
That's how it is in the Bible.
Like, we are supposed to selfishor selflessly give ourselves to
the other person to meet theirneeds.
But so many times we go intorelationships saying, what this
person's gonna give to me isgonna make me feel this.
And when they don't give methat, you don't hit the
expectation mark and you don'tfeel loved.
(09:21):
But that's not how it works.
It's just like this viciouscycle, right?
Because it's like, if I'm notgetting what this person, um,
what I think this person cangive me to make me feel better,
you're constantly feelingdefeated and feeling not filled
up like your buck bucket's notfull.
So especially during this time,we wanna love others and not
(09:44):
expect so much from them.
And you don't realize that whenyou're loving on that person and
you're meeting their needs, it'sgoing to trickle into your life
too, because they're gonna like,wow, you're doing this for me.
And then it just, I don't know.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
And if you're listening to this post
Valentine's Day and like you'rein a relationship, whether it's
a friendship or a romanticrelationship, ak married life,
and it doesn't meet yourexpectation, give that person
some grace and just know that,you know, it's not all about
that.
And a lot of times I think weadd like a lot of extra pressure
(10:21):
with these American madeholidays and even, I mean mm-hmm
.
, you know, I knowValentine's Day is tied into,
uh, a Christian holiday.
A lot of people don't realizethat there's a, a connection
there to Christianity and alittle bit of, uh, that's
another episode as far as whenyou think of St.
Patrick's Day and some of theholidays outside of obviously
Resurrection Sunday, AK Easter.
Right.
And of course Christmas.
(10:42):
But I think we can get caught upin the expectation of, oh, I
didn't get the card.
I used to get the, I didn't getthe chocolates or I didn't get
the, whatever that fill in theblank moment is.
Mm-hmm.
, one of the thingsthat I feel that's really
blessed us is reminding eachother that God always meets our
expectation.
Yeah.
If we communicate clearly withhim.
(11:04):
Right.
So that's really important.
Like if you're clearly saying,you know what?
I wanna get better atcommunicating with others, spend
more time with God, spend moretime seeking him, reading his
word, sitting with him remainingsilent, allowing him to speak
into your heart and into yourmind and soul.
And it is going to do amazingthings within your
(11:26):
relationships.
Cuz you're gonna be able tosometimes communicate clearly to
people that maybe really needthat.
You know?
And there's gonna be also theexpectations of being affirmed
and loved.
They're gonna come from ourfather in heaven, God, right.
And, and not from people.
So you'll, you won't be let downright.
When some of these thingshappen.
It doesn't mean your fleshdoesn't kick in like us, you
(11:50):
know, going out to eat and maybesomething doesn't go the way we
we wanted to.
Or, or us doing something with,uh, another family friend or or
family member where, you know,oh, I thought they were shown up
at one and you know, they, theycome at four.
You know, God is waiting tospend time with us throughout
the day to communicate with us,to abide in him, and to also
(12:12):
fill us up with just so muchlove and contentment joy, so
that our expectations areconstantly being met by him.
Everything else is just atrickle down effect.
It's just, it's extra.
You know, it's like, oh wow.
But I think when we like missout on those moments, those are
sometimes the days where we feelreally slighted with how other
(12:32):
people are letting us down.
And you can sometimes even blameGod for that, which is a big
mistake because he is faithfuland he is true and he is truth.
So it's just really importantthat for some of us, that that,
you know, connect in that wayand, and those that are, are
following God and, and believethat he is the source man.
(12:53):
He will meet your expectation ina very every time.
Every time.
And it's, it's not about likethe prosperity message of just
pray with, pray to him and praywith others for what you need.
And you know, it's not the giftto get situation.
It's more of like, what if youjust started to really like
disconnect and, and seek Goddaily and allow him to speak
(13:15):
into your heart and communicateto you and allow the Holy Spirit
to enable you to be a greatcommunicator to others.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Yeah.
Because he gives you thatcontentment and that peace and
that security that you can'tfind in a person, in a job, in a
financial situation.
You're never going to feelfulfilled.
You're never gonna feelcomplete.
You know, oh, well when I getmarried or when I do this, I'm
gonna finally feel complete.
And, and you're never going tofeel that complete fulfillment
(13:45):
because we can't find thatanywhere.
But in God, he is the only onewho can fill us up.
He is the only one that can justbe that source.
Um, and I don't, I think so manypeople forget that, even
Christians, even myself,sometimes you forget, you're
like, oh, well if I could justget to that next level, if I
(14:05):
could just get this, you know,whatever that may be, that's not
where we should be looking.
And that's not where we shouldfind our identity, our self
worth because it's in ourfather.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
I was just thinking too, of really a, a good
applicable verse that can tieinto this.
Cause a lot of times people arelike, well, how am I gonna
remember some of this and how,what's one of the takeaways?
And we used to have bible versesall over our house in New York,
like fancy stickers.
You know, those ones that
Speaker 3 (14:39):
The vinyl decals.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Yeah.
Real, real cool.
High end art, but hey, it's allabout the living word of God,
all of our house.
And that was the main reason.
And it still looked classy.
I think it was nice.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Matthew 2237.
Oh yeah.
Right.
And there's differentinterpretations of this, but we
have this, and we used to readit all the time.
Mm-hmm.
to the kids, lovethe Lord of God with all your
heart and with all your soul andwith all your mind.
So when we do that, man, it justlike breaks down the walls of
(15:11):
insecurity, it breaks down thewalls of missed expectations.
And it allows us to just keepsurrendering back to God, saying
, all right, I'm gonna justcontinue to love him with my
heart, soul, and mind, and he'sgonna do the rest.
So this is one of many that youcould think about when it comes
to communication clearly withGod, right?
(15:33):
Which leads to meetingexpectations of things that man,
you can always expect God toshow up in his presence, to
consume you and just to saturateyour, your whole being.
And you'll be much moreefficient at communication and
you'll be less impacted andaffected by missed expectations.
(15:53):
It, it won't ruffle yourfeathers as much.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
.
Yeah.
So I think one of the bigtakeaways from tonight, or today
or whenever we always sayis God is always gonna be the
source.
He's always gonna be the onethat fills our bucket.
It's not gonna be, man, it's notgonna be a situation, it's not
gonna be anything that you maythink it's going to be.
(16:18):
It's going to be him.
So it's our job as believers tosit with him, to spend time with
him and to have thatrelationship with him, that
intimate relationship becausethat is only gonna just fill us
up even more so that we can pourout.
And our expectations are alwaysgonna be met through him.
And that's just a daily reminderfor myself.
(16:40):
And I hope it is for you guys,that he is the source, he is the
way, he's the truth, he's thelife, he is everything.
Um, so yeah,
Speaker 2 (16:53):
We love you guys.
,
Speaker 3 (16:56):
Sorry, I'm just enjoying these baby snuggles
right now.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Stay tuned for more and uh, more, more topics.
Hey, real quick.
Nala the bulldog, check it out.
Thank you for everyone that'ssupporting Nala, the Bulldog,
the book.
And uh, we've got some excitingstuff coming, going into this q2
coming soon for all you businessfolk out there.
(17:21):
That's the second quarter comingsoon.
Clean slate living a lot of funthings that we're doing this
year that we can't wait to sharethrough the podcast as well to
give you updates.
And just thank you so much foreveryone that's sharing this
through Spotify, apple Podcasts,whatever way you stream it,
share with a friend.
And we look forward to puttingout the most episodes that we've
(17:44):
ever put out in one year, 2023,the year of Michael Jordan.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
That's right.
We will see you guys soon.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Hey guys, thanks so much for listening to the Puzzle
podcast.
Please subscribe today and sharewith a friend.
See you.
Welcome to the Puzzle is Real podcast where we will be
(00:03):
discussing faith, family, andrelationships hosted by Matt and
Melissa Pisani.
This is the Puzzle is realpodcast when you know, you know,
Speaker 2 (00:16):
All right, it is time.
It's time.
We back, we back, we do it, weknow it.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
We're back in the game.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Hey, we just did a, uh, sound check and Melissa
Burped,
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Sorry
Speaker 2 (00:31):
We should have saved it.
But maybe in the future, don't
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Tell people that.
I don't act like a ladysometimes.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
You just gotta be real.
Sometimes we are not studiopodcasters.
This is the raw uncut.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Well, this is just real talk.
This is just us havingconversations and talking about
real situations, real life.
Because you know what, that'swhat people need to hear.
They need to hear about the realstuff, not the Instagram filter.
Fluffy stuff.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Yeah.
You know what what I'm saying?
Preach, preach.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Just saying some people's lives are great and
glamorous up on social media,but when you're around them
you're like, whoa, this is waydifferent than what you portray.
So we real,
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Yeah, that's like a, what I say, that's a little bit
of a misinterpretation ofreality, you know?
Speaker 3 (01:23):
But what are we talking when I, oh, sorry.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Well, I was just gonna say, you know, when I put
that filter on and make mycomplexion look real nice and
shiny and then all of a sudden Irealize that I don't have a nice
complexion.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Yes you do.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
makeup.
Wait, what am I talking about?
That's another, that's anothercrazy topic, right?
Anyway, back on.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Anyway, back on track.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
So, hey, we've got some fun tonight and today and
tomorrow, whenever you listen tothis in the future, miss
communication, we can be reallypoor at communicating and it can
lead to a missed expectation.
We're not trying to be cute withour wording, but we've just been
(02:07):
realizing, like throughout ourrelationship of building towards
our goal of being unified overand over and over again till
eternity as husband and wife,there are times where I don't
communicate properly.
Example number one, go for it.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
What's that?
Sometimes what with working?
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
So sometimes, you know, he'lltell me, oh, I'll be done by
five 30.
So in my mind I'm like, okay,he'll be done by seven
because I used to expect him tobe done at a certain time that
he tells me.
And then obviously things comeup, reality comes, you know, the
(02:47):
ball just keeps rolling and youget sucked into workland and
don't realize how much more timeyou are taking.
So instead of me being the huffypuffy wife, like, ah, you told
me that you were gonna gonna bedone at five 30 and now you're
here at seven.
So now it's like, I don't expecthim to be done at certain time.
And I know he tries to give methe accurate time, but sometimes
(03:09):
things happen.
So now I do not expect it.
And now I don't have a missedexpectation because now I know
just to add time
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Yeah.
And I have to try to honor yourtime.
And I know there's times, no punintended, times time, time
Speaker 3 (03:24):
That
Speaker 2 (03:26):
It just doesn't happen.
Things happen.
But this is the good news.
We continually clean our slateand start over.
Message
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Beep beep.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
So here's another one.
Is it my turn?
Yeah.
Oh, I thought we were gettingcrumble cookie tonight.
Sometimes we'll talk about likeour sweet treat cravings.
And I'm like, oh man, thatsounds good.
And I'm thinking that Melissa'salready ordering it and that the
Uber eats guys dropping it off,you know, first world problems.
(03:59):
And then I find out that thecookies were not ordered and now
I'm hangry cuz I wanted thosesweet treats.
And
Speaker 3 (04:05):
I'm like, oh, I didn't know you really wanted me
to order them.
And he's like, yeah, of course
Speaker 2 (04:09):
I did.
You didn't, you didn't make adessert tonight.
We don't have any, we don't haveany cookie dough sitting on the
sideline while you're managingthree children.
Yeah, exactly.
How dare I.
So yeah, I think that it's justreally important that we get
better at communicating aspeople with friends, with
family, especially withstrangers.
It could go from just a salesexchange, right?
(04:30):
You could be saying, Hey, I'm,I'm shopping for a vehicle.
I'm looking for a car, and Ihave this expectation of, of
what's gonna happen.
And then all of a sudden thatsalesperson doesn't communicate
properly and you, you sign a baddeal, right?
And you're like, wait, this isone I signed up for.
This isn't the deal I wanted.
So it could be in that case, Ialso think about like, with
(04:52):
relationships we've gone throughlike a lot of interesting, I
feel like moments where we havefriends or people that we're
either hosting or they'rehosting us and there's terrible
communication.
It's like, oh yeah.
It's like, oh yeah.
Like, we'll, we'll get together.
Um, you come over, we'll make,we'll make a nice meal.
Um, yeah, don't worry.
(05:12):
Don't bring anything.
And then we like show up at thisperson's house and nobody knows
who these people are.
We're just, this is hypotheticalscenarios through the years,
right?
And like the meals aren't ready.
Um, there's a bowl of pretzels.
We're starving
eight o'clock at night.
And it's just, that's how it'sgoing down.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Well, and the thing is, that goes back to
expectation, right?
Because like Matt and I, we liketo host, we like to have people
over.
We always, you know, fill uppeople's glasses of water, tell
them where the drinks are, orgive it to them and have plenty
of food.
You know, that's just our lovelanguage.
We like to make people feelcomfortable.
Like there's just more thanenough to go around.
But sometimes when you go toother people's homes, you don't
(05:54):
know what to expect, but youexpect them to do it the way
that you do it.
It and then they don't.
Right?
So that's a missed expectation,right?
So instead of us going tosituations expecting people to
do what we are gonna do, wecan't go into that like that
because it's just like readingsomeone's mind.
We can't read minds.
We, we don't know that person'slife.
Um, so you have to go there withan open mind, open heart, and
(06:17):
realize that setting yourself upfor expectation, for a certain
expectation, you're always gonnabe di disappointed.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Yeah.
And just side note, little babyMags was with us on these
podcast episodes.
So yes.
If you hear Melissa patting theback of our child,
Speaker 3 (06:31):
I'm sorry,
Speaker 2 (06:32):
That's, that's not me rubbing my belly thinking about
the food.
Um, yeah.
And I think that's really a goodpoint for everyone.
Something to think about.
I think that we put a lot ofpressure on other people to meet
our expectations and when itdoesn't work out, we blame them
when really it's, it's not theirfault.
We all as human beings have likea certain level of like, all
(06:54):
right, well this is where itneeds to be, right?
And if it goes below there, oh,what?
Like they didn't have x, y, Z atthe party when they were hosting
and didn't have my favorites.
Like, it, it's actually like alittle crazy how we tend to
criticize one another.
And I'm speaking to myself, likeif I go to somewhere and I'm
like, oh man, well I would'vedone it differently.
(07:14):
Well of course I would've doneit differently cuz I know what I
like.
Right?
Not everybody knows what Mattwants to eat and, and drink and,
you know,
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Doesn't know that you drink literally 20 glasses of
water in like five minutes.
Yes.
Like sometimes there's no waterwhere we are.
Oh.
Or very minimal.
And Matt's like, I am so thirstyright now because people don't
know that he's drinking so hedrinks so much water.
So when we go to a restaurantlike as a joke, I'm like, you
can just leave the pitcher cuzyou're gonna have to keep coming
(07:43):
back.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Cause this is a yes ladies a joke.
It real thing, this is a realthing.
I have been in restaurants andthey have said, the waiter or
waitress have said, wow, I'venever seen someone consume as
much water as you do, sir.
And I said, just keep it coming.
And it's not to show off I lovewater, it is my favorite
beverage and I will drink ituntil I pee and I will drink it
(08:05):
throughout the night.
So when we go to a, a restaurantand they're not filling up the
water as a former waiter and uh,someone in the food and beverage
business, right?
That could be very frustrating.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
And another thing just to kind of, I don't know if
this is, this kind of ties intoit, but we are actually
listening to a message from ourchurch this past Sunday and
going back to expectations andalso just relationships, right?
We're so me focused like me, me,me, what I want, what I need.
How is this gonna make me feelbetter or make me feel loved?
(08:40):
And so he brought up justactually the topic of love and
Valentine's Day coming up or youknow, around that right?
Love fest.
Time and love is actually notwhat the other person can do for
you.
It's supposed to be asacrificial love, what we should
be doing for that person.
That's how God has intended it.
(09:01):
That's how it is in the Bible.
Like, we are supposed to selfishor selflessly give ourselves to
the other person to meet theirneeds.
But so many times we go intorelationships saying, what this
person's gonna give to me isgonna make me feel this.
And when they don't give methat, you don't hit the
expectation mark and you don'tfeel loved.
(09:21):
But that's not how it works.
It's just like this viciouscycle, right?
Because it's like, if I'm notgetting what this person, um,
what I think this person cangive me to make me feel better,
you're constantly feelingdefeated and feeling not filled
up like your buck bucket's notfull.
So especially during this time,we wanna love others and not
(09:44):
expect so much from them.
And you don't realize that whenyou're loving on that person and
you're meeting their needs, it'sgoing to trickle into your life
too, because they're gonna like,wow, you're doing this for me.
And then it just, I don't know.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
And if you're listening to this post
Valentine's Day and like you'rein a relationship, whether it's
a friendship or a romanticrelationship, ak married life,
and it doesn't meet yourexpectation, give that person
some grace and just know that,you know, it's not all about
that.
And a lot of times I think weadd like a lot of extra pressure
(10:21):
with these American madeholidays and even, I mean mm-hmm
.
uh, a Christian holiday.
A lot of people don't realizethat there's a, a connection
there to Christianity and alittle bit of, uh, that's
another episode as far as whenyou think of St.
Patrick's Day and some of theholidays outside of obviously
Resurrection Sunday, AK Easter.
Right.
And of course Christmas.
(10:42):
But I think we can get caught upin the expectation of, oh, I
didn't get the card.
I used to get the, I didn't getthe chocolates or I didn't get
the, whatever that fill in theblank moment is.
Mm-hmm.
blessed us is reminding eachother that God always meets our
expectation.
Yeah.
If we communicate clearly withhim.
(11:04):
Right.
So that's really important.
Like if you're clearly saying,you know what?
I wanna get better atcommunicating with others, spend
more time with God, spend moretime seeking him, reading his
word, sitting with him remainingsilent, allowing him to speak
into your heart and into yourmind and soul.
And it is going to do amazingthings within your
(11:26):
relationships.
Cuz you're gonna be able tosometimes communicate clearly to
people that maybe really needthat.
You know?
And there's gonna be also theexpectations of being affirmed
and loved.
They're gonna come from ourfather in heaven, God, right.
And, and not from people.
So you'll, you won't be let downright.
When some of these thingshappen.
It doesn't mean your fleshdoesn't kick in like us, you
(11:50):
know, going out to eat and maybesomething doesn't go the way we
we wanted to.
Or, or us doing something with,uh, another family friend or or
family member where, you know,oh, I thought they were shown up
at one and you know, they, theycome at four.
You know, God is waiting tospend time with us throughout
the day to communicate with us,to abide in him, and to also
(12:12):
fill us up with just so muchlove and contentment joy, so
that our expectations areconstantly being met by him.
Everything else is just atrickle down effect.
It's just, it's extra.
You know, it's like, oh wow.
But I think when we like missout on those moments, those are
sometimes the days where we feelreally slighted with how other
(12:32):
people are letting us down.
And you can sometimes even blameGod for that, which is a big
mistake because he is faithfuland he is true and he is truth.
So it's just really importantthat for some of us, that that,
you know, connect in that wayand, and those that are, are
following God and, and believethat he is the source man.
(12:53):
He will meet your expectation ina very every time.
Every time.
And it's, it's not about likethe prosperity message of just
pray with, pray to him and praywith others for what you need.
And you know, it's not the giftto get situation.
It's more of like, what if youjust started to really like
disconnect and, and seek Goddaily and allow him to speak
(13:15):
into your heart and communicateto you and allow the Holy Spirit
to enable you to be a greatcommunicator to others.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Yeah.
Because he gives you thatcontentment and that peace and
that security that you can'tfind in a person, in a job, in a
financial situation.
You're never going to feelfulfilled.
You're never gonna feelcomplete.
You know, oh, well when I getmarried or when I do this, I'm
gonna finally feel complete.
And, and you're never going tofeel that complete fulfillment
(13:45):
because we can't find thatanywhere.
But in God, he is the only onewho can fill us up.
He is the only one that can justbe that source.
Um, and I don't, I think so manypeople forget that, even
Christians, even myself,sometimes you forget, you're
like, oh, well if I could justget to that next level, if I
(14:05):
could just get this, you know,whatever that may be, that's not
where we should be looking.
And that's not where we shouldfind our identity, our self
worth because it's in ourfather.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
I was just thinking too, of really a, a good
applicable verse that can tieinto this.
Cause a lot of times people arelike, well, how am I gonna
remember some of this and how,what's one of the takeaways?
And we used to have bible versesall over our house in New York,
like fancy stickers.
You know, those ones that
Speaker 3 (14:39):
The vinyl decals.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Yeah.
Real, real cool.
High end art, but hey, it's allabout the living word of God,
all of our house.
And that was the main reason.
And it still looked classy.
I think it was nice.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Matthew 2237.
Oh yeah.
Right.
And there's differentinterpretations of this, but we
have this, and we used to readit all the time.
Mm-hmm.
heart and with all your soul andwith all your mind.
So when we do that, man, it justlike breaks down the walls of
(15:11):
insecurity, it breaks down thewalls of missed expectations.
And it allows us to just keepsurrendering back to God, saying
, all right, I'm gonna justcontinue to love him with my
heart, soul, and mind, and he'sgonna do the rest.
So this is one of many that youcould think about when it comes
to communication clearly withGod, right?
(15:33):
Which leads to meetingexpectations of things that man,
you can always expect God toshow up in his presence, to
consume you and just to saturateyour, your whole being.
And you'll be much moreefficient at communication and
you'll be less impacted andaffected by missed expectations.
(15:53):
It, it won't ruffle yourfeathers as much.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
Yeah.
So I think one of the bigtakeaways from tonight, or today
or whenever
source.
He's always gonna be the onethat fills our bucket.
It's not gonna be, man, it's notgonna be a situation, it's not
gonna be anything that you maythink it's going to be.
(16:18):
It's going to be him.
So it's our job as believers tosit with him, to spend time with
him and to have thatrelationship with him, that
intimate relationship becausethat is only gonna just fill us
up even more so that we can pourout.
And our expectations are alwaysgonna be met through him.
And that's just a daily reminderfor myself.
(16:40):
And I hope it is for you guys,that he is the source, he is the
way, he's the truth, he's thelife, he is everything.
Um, so yeah,
Speaker 2 (16:53):
We love you guys.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
Sorry, I'm just enjoying these baby snuggles
right now.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Stay tuned for more and uh, more, more topics.
Hey, real quick.
Nala the bulldog, check it out.
Thank you for everyone that'ssupporting Nala, the Bulldog,
the book.
And uh, we've got some excitingstuff coming, going into this q2
coming soon for all you businessfolk out there.
(17:21):
That's the second quarter comingsoon.
Clean slate living a lot of funthings that we're doing this
year that we can't wait to sharethrough the podcast as well to
give you updates.
And just thank you so much foreveryone that's sharing this
through Spotify, apple Podcasts,whatever way you stream it,
share with a friend.
And we look forward to puttingout the most episodes that we've
(17:44):
ever put out in one year, 2023,the year of Michael Jordan.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
That's right.
We will see you guys soon.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Hey guys, thanks so much for listening to the Puzzle
podcast.
Please subscribe today and sharewith a friend.
See you.
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