Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Hello and welcome to the Q&A Files, the ultimate
health and wellness playground.
I'm your host, tricia Jamieson,a board-certified functional
nutritionist and lifestylepractitioner, ready to lead you
through a world of healthdiscoveries.
Here we dive into a tapestry ofdisease prevention, to
nutrition, exercise, mentalhealth and building strong
relationships, all spiced withdiverse perspectives.
(00:29):
It's not just a podcast, it's acelebration of health, packed
with insights and a twist of fun.
Welcome aboard the Q&A Files,where your questions ignite our
vibrant discussions and lead toa brighter you.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Welcome back Wellness Warriors to part two of our
conversation with Nisha Wright.
In part one, we laid thefoundation for understanding
behavioral health and buildingeffective support systems.
Today we're diving deeper intocaregiver burnout, self-care and
the incredible success storiesthat prove behavioral
(01:02):
interventions do work.
Credible success stories thatprove behavioral interventions
do work.
Caregiver burnout is a seriousissue that affects both physical
and mental health.
What are the early warningsigns that someone is headed
toward burnout?
First of all, hello, dr Jeffand Nisha.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
Hi everybody.
Sorry, I just went right intothat.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
We're back here with Nisha so grateful to have her
here and we've got Dr Jeff withus, so just curious about what
your thoughts are aboutcaregiver burnout.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
I think it's a real thing, it's very common.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
How does it happen?
What do you see as kind of thewarning signs when a person is
getting close to that burnoutstate?
Speaker 4 (01:44):
I think feeling out of focus, not enjoying what
you're doing.
So this caregiver burnout issimilar to work burnout like
feeling like this isoverwhelming, not feeling any
hope, feeling like your sleep'simpacted, like you're always
with that caregiver role all thetime you stop doing things you
(02:08):
love.
Very similar to symptoms ofdepression, where you start
losing joy in day-to-day things.
Your interest isn't there.
Mood changes, dietary changes,easy frustration like your
frustration.
Tolerance starts to change,maybe feeling more irritable.
I think it really looks a lotlike a lot of symptoms of
(02:32):
depression, unfortunately.
Well, that's interesting.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
You know I have a little oil check dipstick level
for me that I do in my job thatif patients doing normal things
start to bother me, it's timefor a vacation.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
Oh, that's a good one .
Speaker 3 (02:54):
You know and it's not that I mean I'm really grateful
to be in the role I am and Ilove my patient group.
I mean I'm in a great spotwhere I can basically pick and
choose the people that I see andstick with the people that I
like and let other people findyou know that I don't get along
(03:14):
with or whatever to let them gojust professionally.
But also when you do it for along period of time, no matter
how good it could be, it can geton your nerves, and so I just
appreciate what you're sayingabout the things that can impact
a person's behaviors andfeelings when you're doing
(03:34):
caregiving.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
So what do you do, though?
What helps you avoid caregiverburnout for yourself?
What helps you avoid caregiverburnout for yourself?
Speaker 4 (03:45):
Great question, so it's kind of funny.
Some of the skills that I teachwith staff or with the
individuals I work with areliterally the skills that I love
using.
I spent several years workingwith kids and teens and there
was a lot of mindfulnesstechniques that we used to
practice, and some of the mostsimplest techniques are the ones
(04:06):
that stick with me, such as,like the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 breathing
technique.
So demonstrate.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
Tell me what that means?
What's the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1breathing technique?
Speaker 4 (04:17):
So it's more of a mindfulness.
You're just paying attention toyour breathing.
You're looking around, findingfive things you see around you.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
And.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
I'm going to do this just because I'm a handsy person
, hands-on person when I do it.
But I'll look around and spotfive things around me.
Is there some artwork?
There's a lamp, and thenthere's four things I'm going to
feel.
So, for the folks that likereally feel calm with sensory
pieces, I'm going to feel thecouch, feel my hair, feel this
pen over here, and four things,and then hear three things.
So I'm going to sit in silenceand hear three things.
(04:49):
So I could hear my breathing, Icould hear the wind outside and
I could hear maybe the heateror something, for instance.
And then two things, two thingsI could smell.
That one's a little challenging, so you might have to pick up
something or find a cup ofcoffee, smell that or see if
there's any smells floatingaround in the air.
And then one thing is going tobe, one thing you can taste.
(05:12):
So if you have a hard piece ofcandy or your coffee or drink
next to you, you're going totake a sip of that.
By the time you get through allthose whatever was stressing
you out, you're probably notthinking about it because you're
putting all your energyfocusing on that.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
And I love that.
I do that as well, so that is afantastic.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
One of the things I love about that.
Thank you for explaining thattoo.
By the way.
I love how that grounds you innow, because a lot of times when
we're going through a problemlist or we're having these,
we're getting stuck in ourthoughts and worry.
We're not thinking about what'shappening right now.
(05:51):
We're thinking about how thingshappened in the past, what
bothered us about a pastconversation.
We're thinking about, oh no,how am I going to deal with not
having enough money for this?
Or what about my flat tire?
You know things, whatever elsethat you're worried about, how
am I going to deal with thisnext client that just they've
(06:13):
been out of control every timeI've seen them?
And then it can get you out ofyour head and into the present
and ground you into now and thatcan help you just be so much
more ready to deal with the nextchallenge.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
I love that.
Do you have any othertechniques that you use?
Speaker 4 (06:33):
I do breathing techniques I really like, just
like the basics too.
The simpler it is, the easierit is for me to implement that
in the middle of my day.
So typically a normal officeday for me would be I'm working
on a report and I'm doing somedata mining, trying to figure
out patterns of behavior, andthen someone will probably come
into the office and say, hey, Ineed you to work on this real
(06:54):
quick.
And then someone will come inwith a crisis and then my
on-call phone's going to ringand there's that.
And so automatically I'm likehow do I prioritize what I'm
going to do next?
So those five, four, the fivefour, three, two.
One grounding skill is one goodarea.
Sometimes I just need to take adeep breath.
If that doesn't work, sometimesI'll just take a walk outside.
Right now it's cold outside andthat's super therapeutic for me
(07:16):
, cause I'm like, oh, this isuncomfortable, but it's also
taking me out of my mind andhelping me slow down.
So I like to keep it simple,just because that's another job
if I have to think about how tocalm myself down or feel better.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
That's so good, so go ahead, jeff.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
I was just going to ask.
I know personally things that Ifeel in my body when I'm
feeling stressed.
What things do you feel in yourbody or that you notice other
people feel, to be able to helpthem recognize when stress is
getting the best of them?
Speaker 4 (07:51):
So for myself, I notice sometimes my heart rate
will go up a little bit, or Ijust I'm tense, so my muscles
are tense and I'll be sitting inmy chair just like really.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
With your ears on your shoulders.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
Yes, and I'm like what's going on?
And it takes me a minutesometimes to realize I've been
sitting this way for who knowshow long.
So just being able to check inwith that, I also noticed, kind
of you know, my interactions, myinterpersonal interactions are
a little bit different.
I'm either short with words orlike I don't have a lot to say
and I'm just ready to be donewith the conversation.
So that's my instant cue.
(08:30):
If I'm at the office and I'mlike, okay, I'm done with this
conversation and I'm not evenpresent with what the content of
the conversation is, if I'm notpresent in the moment, I think
that's a huge piece.
I've noticed other people saythat they get physical symptoms,
headaches, migraines.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
For me, I get a twitch.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
I get an eye twitch or a little facial twitch and if
I start feeling that, I know Ineed to stop, take a couple of
deep breaths and just let myshoulders push down towards my
hips so that I can take thepressure out of those things and
practice those mindful skillsthat you're talking about.
That's just me, so I appreciatethe other things that you're
(09:10):
talking about.
Speaker 4 (09:11):
I think standing up is also a good one.
Just getting out If you're in asitting position, I think
that's huge.
Another one I noticed is reallynot being able to focus on
whatever I'm working on.
Like it should not be thatdifficult to continue the task,
but if my mind's on somethingand I can't necessarily pinpoint
what it is on my mind and it'sjust kind of blurry, that's my
cue to did I eat?
(09:33):
Did I drink water?
Did I walk, what's?
Speaker 2 (09:37):
going on Exactly.
Do that checkoff list.
What do I need to do different?
Speaker 4 (09:42):
Yeah, it might look different for every person, but
having that kind ofself-check-in, even, maybe even
setting a timer on your phonelike hey, check-in moment.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Oh, fantastic, I love that and we're so.
When you're working, we're insuch a seated position so much
of the time.
I like that.
A lot of places that do officework have sit-to-stand desks.
That has really helped, I think, a lot with stress and being
able to just detach yourselffrom your screen every hour or
(10:18):
two so that you can look outsideand see the environment you're
in and get yourself grounded.
I love the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
I'm going to use that and sohaving those opportunities and I
tell people all the time,especially if they bring me
problems like their lowerextremities are getting swollen
(10:39):
or they feel pain in their feetor their legs, but yet they sit
all day long and they don't doanything other than sit there
looking at a computer screen.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
So they recommend, you know, every hour, to get up
and move.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Right.
And I'm one of those people whorecommend that.
Speaker 4 (10:58):
I agree.
It's also an opportunity tojust take a.
If you're in an office or worksetting, it is that one hour
check-in you could walk aroundand just check in with the
environment.
Sometimes it's I feel like Ilock myself in my office
sometimes and I'm there forseveral hours because I'm
focused on like trying to getthis data and make sure it makes
sense and I forget that likethere's a whole world outside of
(11:20):
my office Right, yeah, well,that's one thing that I try to
do is I'll do like jumping jacksin between clients or something
to just get the blood movingthrough my legs and get the
oxygen up to my brain so I canthink again.
I keep a stress ball.
I have some of those likestretch bands.
So I tried to do like justreally simple Like.
(11:41):
If it feels like again, if itfeels like a workout or a job, I
probably won't do itsuccessfully.
But if it's just there and I'mlike, oh, let me pull this
exercise ball right here, let me, like, do some simple exercises
, I found that was just supernice If I don't put too much
energy into what it is justdoing something.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
And it only has to be for a few seconds, I mean you
don't have to do it for 15minutes you just do it for 15
seconds.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
But that time adds up .
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Yeah, definitely, okay, excellent, thank you.
So many caregivers feel guiltywhen they take time for
themselves.
How can they shift theirmindset to understand that
self-care isn't selfish?
Now, we've talked a lot aboutthis on our podcast in the past,
but I would just like to knowwhat are your self-care things
(12:34):
that you like to do for you?
Oh, sheesh.
Speaker 4 (12:36):
There's so many Good, Share them.
I try to implement it.
I mean spending time with mydog.
So I have I have two dogs, butmy German shepherd is one that's
like, she loves hiking andgoing on adventures.
And we live in Washington andit's beautiful, so I take every
opportunity I can to spend sometime outside walking my dog.
(12:57):
That's probably my immediatego-to if I'm stressed, if I'm
overwhelmed, if I need to pausewalking with my dog, and maybe
even going to like RiversideState Park, just checking out
places that take me away from myhome.
So that's my number one.
In the summer, kayaking isreally peaceful for me.
I just I love going kayaking.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Ooh, that's cool.
I love being on the water.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
I remember.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
I used to do that.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
Yeah, so anything water related.
I have a friend that hasproperty up in the Green Bluff
area and so sometimes I'll sitthere overlooking Mount Spokane
and sit in a hot tub and read abook or listen to podcasts.
I just like how simple it canbe.
I used to make everything, so Iused to be kind of wanting to
(13:41):
be a perfectionist and makingthings so much more complicated
than it had to be.
I was like I just need to gooutside.
So I appreciate how simple likethe things I love to do
Spending time with family.
If I feel like I'm losingconnection, if I've spent too
much time isolating orintroverted time, I'll connect
with family.
But yeah, those are some of thethings I love to do.
(14:04):
I'm also super crafty and lovebaking.
So anything that has to do withsome random craft or baking for
other people, I absolutely lovedoing that.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
Well, and you talked in the last episode about
recreating your grandmother'srecipe, and that was probably
something that really relaxedyou and let you feel all the
feels for being in the past andin the present.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
It was so much fun.
I wish I could show you guysthe fail I've now.
As I get a little bit older, Ifind so much joy in the mistakes
or the failed experiments ofstuff that it doesn't have to be
great and perfect the firsttime, and so things like the
recipe not turning out well ishilarious.
But maybe in the past that wassomething that brought me a
little more stress.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
So Well, that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Don't you wish that you could take the person that
you are now and tell that formeryounger self hey, stop being
such a perfectionist, it's okayto fail, it's okay to do all
these things and just, you'regoing to be great and we just,
at the younger age, I don't, Iknow.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
I appreciate where you're coming from.
As always, youth is wasted onthe young.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
But I'm grateful I got to the point where I am now.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
So as long as I'm not in that way before.
Speaker 4 (15:20):
I will take that as a total win.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
That's great, Jeff.
What are some of your self-carethings you do?
Speaker 3 (15:27):
Well in the moment, deep breathing.
That helps me a lot Especially.
I go from room to room to roomto room all day long and after
dealing with particularlydifficult issues with a patient,
sometimes I have to take aminute in between patients I'll
just stand in front of the doorand take a couple of deep
(15:51):
breaths, let my shoulders dropand then say, okay, I can do
this, and then open the door andgo in the next one.
Sometimes I'll stop and go intomy office and just take a drink
of water, and when I talk allthe time as a physician, you can
get a little dry mouth, andhaving something to drink helps
(16:13):
me connect with my body a littlebit more and help me feel more
like I'm getting somewhere.
And one of the things thatreally makes me happy is on my
schedule I have little checkmarks on the next to the names
of the patients that I'vealready seen, and it makes me
happy when I've gotten throughthem and I've got all the check
marks done.
So I you know I'm a check markguy and I'm one of those guys
(16:37):
that you know if I've got thingsto do.
I like to feel how good itfeels to have the check marks
done.
Now I I don't look at them asthose check marks as, oh good,
I've treated and streeted thesepeople, that I've worked through
my workday, and that's what I'mhappy about.
But over and beyond, I'm a pilotand I love to get in the
(17:01):
airplane and go fly, and I loveit even more when Tricia can go
with me, but I'll go whenever Ican.
Yeah, and it's fun to just getin the airplane and see the
world from a God's eye view andto be able to just and sometimes
I just get in the airplane andI just fly around.
It's not like I'm flying toanywhere or from anywhere, it's
(17:24):
just I just go, fly around thearea and look at the beauty of
the area.
There's lakes and streams andwaterfalls and mountains and
things all around us, and sojust to fly over them and take a
look at them is just reallyrelaxing.
I can't say grounding, becauseit's not on the ground, but it
is so nice for me and to be.
(17:48):
I don't know if you've ever feltlike this when you were in a
car when you were growing up.
I don't know if you've everfelt like this when you were in
a car when you were growing up,but sometimes when I was in a
car growing up, I was a littlecarsick and I just didn't really
like that, and then when I gotbehind the wheel, I never felt
carsick ever again.
The same is true when you getin an airplane.
If you're sitting in the backlooking through the little
(18:10):
portholes of an aircraft whenyou're flying somewhere, you can
get airsick.
You can, you know, be anxiousthings like that, and it'd be
uncomfortable.
But when you're sitting in thefront seat and you are the
person in charge of the aircraft, all of that stuff goes away,
and when you're competent as apilot, it isn't nerve wracking,
(18:32):
it's actually freeing, and sothat's one of the things I feel
and enjoy.
That sounds so peaceful, oh,it's wonderful, and I like
taking walks with Tricia.
We take our dog and we go for acouple mile walk.
That's also something that'srelaxing for me and I'm learning
.
I'm trying and I'm learning tolove working out in the morning.
(18:53):
I'm doing a better job of that,but I've really needed that
with the added stress I've hadlately.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Yeah, he's been doing really well with that.
That's great, excellent, okay,so let's talk about boundaries.
What are some healthy wayscaregivers can set boundaries
without guilt?
Speaker 4 (19:11):
That's a good, good question.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
She has a lot of those good questions.
That one threw me a little offguard.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
I'm like that's like I think the without guilt piece
is some of the self-work youhave to do on like coming to
terms with it's okay to haveboundaries.
So I think, accepting withinyourself, hey, it's okay to have
boundaries, and then practicesetting them and being okay with
it.
I think that's maybe a practicekind of piece, Like I don't
(19:38):
know if it just magically comesout of anywhere, but I think
what helps people find thatsupport and come to the
realization that it is okay tohave boundaries, nothing's going
to go terribly wrong and alsowe need to take care of
ourselves.
I think those support groupsare just having a community,
Whatever that looks like for theperson is so important.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
Sorry, nisha, I like to interrupt.
I'm sorry about that, but tellme what you would classify as a
couple of generic yet veryhealthy boundaries that are
specific.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
I would say, setting the boundaries of, hey, I'm
needing to cook my dinner, andsaying, hey, I'm not going to
take you to the store right now.
So I think it's very generic,it's not pinpointed anything.
But if someone was reallytrying to push your boundary, or
hey, I want this toy almostlike, or I want this item bought
(20:37):
for me, and financially that'sjust not reasonable, instead of
giving your all for the thing,saying, hey, this is not
something we can do right now,or just setting up the goal.
Or just setting up the goal Idon't know if it's going to be
goal-oriented or what thescenario is for that boundary
but being okay, saying no inwhatever situation, that is no,
we can't go to this place.
(20:58):
No, I can't buy this.
No, I can't stop what I'm doingright now because I'm working
Again, easier said than done.
It sounds so easy to say, justset a boundary.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
But I know, even until this day I have a hard
time and a boundary, but I know,even until this day, I have a
hard time, and I always have tocheck myself and say I think
that you said the right thingright there.
The key phrase is being able tosay no and being okay with it.
You know that that is the mostsimple boundary ever, but it is
so profound, so I love what youjust said there being able to
(21:31):
say no and being okay with it.
Speaker 4 (21:35):
And I could agree.
There's no way to get to thatpoint, but it is doable and I
think the more you set thoseboundaries, the more it will be
understood and respected.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Oh, I like that.
Speaker 4 (21:49):
You will get less pushback on the boundary once
people know like, hey, you seemserious about this boundary and
it's not going to bend.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
And be consistent Excellent.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Super Okay.
So how can caregivers ask forhelp when they feel overwhelmed?
Many struggle with reaching out.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
I think the first piece is identifying that you
need help.
So no one's going to know ifthere's an issue or concern or
support needed if you can'treach out and say, hey, I need
support and I don't know what'sgoing on.
A lot of times, I think fromthe outside perspective, it
looks like the caregivers haveeverything under control and
there's no issues.
(22:31):
It looks like the caregivershave everything under control
and there's no issues.
So, unless if that caregiver islike, hey, I'm struggling here,
this is playing a toll on mymental health on my day to day.
So I think that's a huge firststart.
I hear so often and I've evenhad family members like people
think I'm doing great because Ihave it under control and I'm
taking care of this person andin realistic like, their blood
pressure is getting high, theireating's messed up, they're not
(22:53):
sleeping well and they're undera lot of stress.
So I think, accepting andunderstanding, hey, I am in a
stressful situation and beingable to talk to someone about it
, whoever that person is, inhopes that that person will be
able to say, hey, have you triedthis?
And, if not, keep talking.
I don't think it's something.
Do not invalidate your ownexperience of what you're going
(23:16):
through and thinking that peoplearen't going to understand or
not want to hear it.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Okay, don't invalidate your own experience.
Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 4 (23:25):
We talk about validating other people's
experiences, but do we validateour own experience?
Like we just brush it aside andwe focus on the other person,
and it's sometimes hard to justtake a pause and be like, oh
wait, did I just brush off myown experience as not as big of
an important.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
Yeah, oh, I think that's so good.
So good, okay.
So what role does communitysupport play in avoiding burnout
?
We've kind of been talkingabout burnout, but I wanted to
ask this question and where cancaregivers find resources?
Speaker 4 (23:57):
So in the supported living situation a lot of times
agencies have they already knowcaregiver burnout's a huge piece
.
So there's a lot of tools builtin, whether it's calming rooms,
online virtual rooms, trainingson support and a lot of
resources and if you're in anemployment type setting, you
have, like your EAP and kind ofsupportive resources.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
What does EAP mean?
Speaker 4 (24:20):
Employment Assistant Program.
So a lot of jobs have thosebuilt into and they'll have like
counseling and a lot of thingsthat resources for caregivers.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
So one of the things that do you find that when
people are reaching out, thatsome people don't fit the needs
of the person that's having thecrisis moment.
So if you go into a counselingsituation and you don't feel
safe, you don't have aconnection, you don't feel heard
(24:53):
even though't have a connection.
You don't feel heard eventhough validation is such a big
part of counseling.
If you don't feel like you'reconnecting with your counselor
or a person that you're tryingto connect with, then that's the
wrong person 100% agree on thatand I think it's important for
people when I say don't you know?
Speaker 4 (25:12):
don't stop talking to people about your experience.
Also, don't give up on theprocess.
When I meet with folks forindividual counseling, I'm like
you know we might not be theright fit, it's okay, it's so
okay if we're not the right fitfor each other, because someone
is the right fit for you, butit's not a.
You know, there's not onetherapist who's going to be
perfect for every single person,or one counselor or one support
(25:34):
network.
So I think it's super importantto just go out there, and it
might take a little bit ofhomework at first, but when
you're with the right people,the right resources just really
are there, and if they're not,there's the right community of
people who understand that theresources aren't available that
you need.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
And that at least helps the isolation piece.
Oh, that's so helpful and I feellike there are so many maybe
occupation-specific people totalk with.
There's situation-specificpeople, like people that have a
person at home that needs 24-7care, People that have a person
at home that needs 24-7 care.
That's a specific group ofcaregivers that they can relate
(26:16):
to each other really well, butif you're not talking to
somebody in that situation, theywouldn't really be able to
offer you any kind of support.
Finding your people is such animportant part of this of the
process of improvement of yourself-burnout, of your burnout.
(26:38):
Am I on the right track on that?
Speaker 4 (26:40):
I absolutely agree.
Definitely don't give up onthat process.
I'm not a huge fan of socialmedia, but one thing that is a
strength of social media is thatsometimes it connects support
groups.
That is a strength of socialmedia is that sometimes it
connects support groups onlinewhen it's not accessible in
person or due to your timeconstraints or work or whatever
it is you're doing.
And so if in person isn'tpossible or you can't find your
(27:03):
people, definitely reach out todifferent support groups.
You will find someone who willbe able to direct you in the
right place.
Or you might just find yourgroup, and I just think it's
priceless to be able to directyou in the right place.
Or you might just find yourgroup, and I just think it's
priceless to be able to havesomeone who understands what
you're going through and can beunjudgmental, and there and
everyone needs that.
(27:24):
I mean, that goes way beyondcaregiver, burnout and just in
general.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
Yeah, oh, thank you.
That's so great.
All right, so, nisha, you'veworked with so many families.
Can you share a success storythat really stands out, one
where a behavior plan made ahuge impact?
Speaker 4 (27:44):
Okay.
So right now I'm working withprimarily individuals in
supported living agency andright now I'm actually currently
working on a plan where thisperson has more independence in
the community.
And so what it looked like waswhen I first started working
with this individual notdirectly all the time, because
I'm doing like the behind thescenes plan writing, teaching
(28:05):
the staff but they had a lot ofrestrictions, their sharps were
restricted, they couldn't bealone in the community.
They had two staff.
Over time this person joinedour Green Zone.
So my agency has a programcalled Green Zone but it's kind
of like mindfulness DBT.
There's a lot of skills takenfrom different modalities to
(28:26):
adapt to the agency and thisindividual.
She went through the wholeprogram, graduated from the
program and at the end of thatone was able to know enough
skills to even teach some of thecalming skills and how to get
through it.
But also a lot of herrestrictions were reduced and
we're now on the point where shecould go to the grocery store
(28:49):
and practice doing most of theshopping by herself.
And this is a person with at onepoint was hospitalized at
Eastern, had extreme behaviors,also developmental disability,
and now we're in a place where Imean, they've come a long way
and it's just such a beautifulthing to see.
And the behavior plans are whatfuel practicing those skills.
(29:11):
So without that behavior planin place they wouldn't know what
green zone skills ormindfulness skills to work with.
And it definitely took a lot oftime practicing those skills.
But you get to see the strengthand ability a person has.
I think we get stuck thinkingsome people can't change or we
don't see change fast enough, soit doesn't seem like change is
(29:31):
happening at all.
So it's really great to havethose little moments where you
could see someone actually makea drastic change, even if it
took two to three to four years.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
Right.
Speaker 3 (29:40):
Yeah, so yeah, I mean just as a point of
clarification to you mentionedthat she was hospitalized at
Eastern and I wanted to put alittle exclamation mark on what
that means.
When a person is hospitalizedat Eastern State Hospital,
that's a locked mental healthunit and that is a place where
(30:04):
sometimes criminally anddangerously mentally ill people
reside with 24-7 surveillance.
So in order for a person tounderstand how incredibly sick
this person was that Lisa'stalking about, that's the
situation she was in at EasternState Hospital.
Speaker 4 (30:25):
Absolutely, and it's amazing to see the growth.
I wasn't there for the wholeprocess, but I've got to see the
growth over time and now I workwith this person every single
week.
We meet and check in and justit's unbelievable.
Like it's not perfect, there'sstill you know, times where
emotions get dysregulated.
But how old is she?
(30:47):
She is 24, 24 now.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Okay, okay, wow.
Well, that sounds like she'sbeen in since 18.
Speaker 4 (30:56):
So she started supported living, I think at 18
or 19, and with belts of Easternand for state station.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
And that was helpful for her.
Speaker 4 (31:09):
It was.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (31:11):
I mean it took so long to get to that point.
So I think the reason I sharethat is because for the folks
who are with the individualthey're helping out or who the
caregivers you're with themevery day, 24, seven, it's
really hard to see the littlechange and see the big picture
that, like something big likethis can happen.
(31:31):
I'm sure the staff providingservices when she first started
supported living did not seethat she would be where she is
today.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
That's great.
It's glad to see progress.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Yeah, that's great.
Thank you for sharing that.
So if you could change onething about society and how they
support individuals withdisabilities, what would it be?
Speaker 4 (31:53):
I would just say the communication around it, the
understanding that I would justsay the education and
communication about it.
I think a lot of people make uptheir own idea of what they
think a person with disabilitycan and can't do.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Because I think people are fearful.
Speaker 4 (32:09):
Yeah, and I think just having more education
available about it, having moreplatforms where people can ask
questions and challenge whattheir judgments or thoughts are,
what people told them about it,I think that's a good start.
I think just the knowledgepiece of it.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
Excellent, fantastic.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
I think it's really easy to kind of group or lump
everyone that has a mentaldisability or a mental illness
into a group of those people youknow and instead of recognize
they're all individuals withstrengths and value, and that's
(32:52):
the thing that I think is areally hard one to have the
population at large havecompassion for us to value.
Speaker 4 (33:02):
And I think just the stigma around people with
disabilities or mental health,like reducing that and also
knowing that there's a wholespectrum of like what that looks
like mental health illnessthere's day to day.
I mean, there's a lot of peopleyou don't know have mental
health illness or maybe adevelopmental disability and
they're functioning just fine.
So, it's really the assumptionthat breaking that stigma, or
(33:25):
assumption that if you have amental health illness or a
disability, that you can'tfunction and do the day-to-day
things that everyone else does.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
Yep so yeah, excellent, so good.
So is there any final insightor advice that you would like to
leave our listeners with today?
Speaker 4 (33:44):
I would just say, caregiver or not, the self-care
piece is so important.
The older I get, the more Irealize like, hey, I do like
using these skills and Iremember a time teaching them to
like kiddos and they're like oh, this is stupid, I don't like
this skill.
And then you see them using theskill and they're like oh, I
feel better and now I'm doingthat for myself regularly and
(34:06):
just remembering to take care ofyourself.
Like I think that answers allthe questions we've talked about
.
Like if we're not able to bethere for ourselves, we can't be
there for other people.
It's really going to be hard tohelp someone if we can't make
sure we're taking care ofourselves.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
Wonderful.
I love that being self-awareand then taking care of yourself
so good.
Speaker 4 (34:27):
The best that you can with what you're working with.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
Right and you can't use tools you don't have.
So seek out tools and seek outpeople that know more than you,
so that you can get better on anongoing basis.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
So yeah, I love that.
Seek out people that know morethan you Very good.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (34:46):
I love that idea too.
I love learning, so like itcomes natural to me and I forget
sometimes that some peopledon't naturally want to reach
out and do those things.
So I think that's a great tipfor folks.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
Sounds great, jeff, do you have any other last
minute remarks?
You'd like to make.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
Just a plug for something that's coming up for
us.
I think that it's important toknow that we find this
incredibly important to haveself-care and help you
understand your own limitationsand your own needs, and there's
specific care that is needed bypeople that understand medicine.
(35:32):
If you're a doctor, forinstance, and you are in a
relationship with your spouse,that is sometimes difficult
because of the balance thathappens between your career and
your family, and Tricia and Iare developing a new program to
help physicians and spousesimprove their relationships so
(35:56):
that they don't run into somehuge problems that can happen in
these very specificrelationships.
So this is one of thosedeveloping communities that
we're working on right now to beable to give back to a
community that has helped us,and we are looking forward to it
.
Speaker 2 (36:16):
We are, and when we were putting things together, it
was what are all the thingsthat we wish that we had going
through training and earlymarriage, medical marriage and
we hope that this will be ableto reach many, many medical
families out there that arestruggling.
(36:37):
Nisha, thank you so much forjoining us.
This was so great.
It was just so fun to have youon.
Great to see you.
You're beautiful.
Thank you, yes, and we also wantto thank our listeners, and if
today's episode resonated withyou, please remember you're not
alone and please remember thatthere's help out there.
(37:00):
We're there to help you, we'rethere to help you and there's
resources to help you as well.
We will make sure that we'llput things in the show notes
that Nisha has suggested for you.
She was just a wealth ofinformation and we're so
grateful that she was here withus.
If you have a burning questionor if you need a health coach to
(37:22):
help you navigate life'schallenges, I'd love to help you
create a plan that works foryou as well.
So reach out anytime at TrishaJameson coaching at gmailcom,
and until next time, take careand keep thriving wellness
warriors.
See you next time.
Thank you, bye-bye.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Bye.
Thanks for tuning into the Q&AFiles, delighted to share
today's gems of wisdom with you.
Your questions light up ourshow, fueling the engaging
dialogues that make ourcommunity extra special.
Keep sending your questions totrishajamesoncoaching at
gmailcom.
Your curiosity is our compass.
Please hit, subscribe, spreadthe word and let's grow the
(38:00):
circle of insight and communitytogether.
I'm Trisha Jameson, signing off.
Stay curious, keep thriving andkeep smiling, and I'll catch
you on the next episode.
Hello and welcome to the Q&A Files, the ultimate
health and wellness playground.
I'm your host, tricia Jamieson,a board-certified functional
nutritionist and lifestylepractitioner, ready to lead you
through a world of healthdiscoveries.
Here we dive into a tapestry ofdisease prevention, to
nutrition, exercise, mentalhealth and building strong
relationships, all spiced withdiverse perspectives.
(00:29):
It's not just a podcast, it's acelebration of health, packed
with insights and a twist of fun.
Welcome aboard the Q&A Files,where your questions ignite our
vibrant discussions and lead toa brighter you.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Welcome back Wellness Warriors to part two of our
conversation with Nisha Wright.
In part one, we laid thefoundation for understanding
behavioral health and buildingeffective support systems.
Today we're diving deeper intocaregiver burnout, self-care and
the incredible success storiesthat prove behavioral
(01:02):
interventions do work.
Credible success stories thatprove behavioral interventions
do work.
Caregiver burnout is a seriousissue that affects both physical
and mental health.
What are the early warningsigns that someone is headed
toward burnout?
First of all, hello, dr Jeffand Nisha.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
Hi everybody.
Sorry, I just went right intothat.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
We're back here with Nisha so grateful to have her
here and we've got Dr Jeff withus, so just curious about what
your thoughts are aboutcaregiver burnout.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
I think it's a real thing, it's very common.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
How does it happen?
What do you see as kind of thewarning signs when a person is
getting close to that burnoutstate?
Speaker 4 (01:44):
I think feeling out of focus, not enjoying what
you're doing.
So this caregiver burnout issimilar to work burnout like
feeling like this isoverwhelming, not feeling any
hope, feeling like your sleep'simpacted, like you're always
with that caregiver role all thetime you stop doing things you
(02:08):
love.
Very similar to symptoms ofdepression, where you start
losing joy in day-to-day things.
Your interest isn't there.
Mood changes, dietary changes,easy frustration like your
frustration.
Tolerance starts to change,maybe feeling more irritable.
I think it really looks a lotlike a lot of symptoms of
(02:32):
depression, unfortunately.
Well, that's interesting.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
You know I have a little oil check dipstick level
for me that I do in my job thatif patients doing normal things
start to bother me, it's timefor a vacation.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
Oh, that's a good one .
Speaker 3 (02:54):
You know and it's not that I mean I'm really grateful
to be in the role I am and Ilove my patient group.
I mean I'm in a great spotwhere I can basically pick and
choose the people that I see andstick with the people that I
like and let other people findyou know that I don't get along
(03:14):
with or whatever to let them gojust professionally.
But also when you do it for along period of time, no matter
how good it could be, it can geton your nerves, and so I just
appreciate what you're sayingabout the things that can impact
a person's behaviors andfeelings when you're doing
(03:34):
caregiving.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
So what do you do, though?
What helps you avoid caregiverburnout for yourself?
What helps you avoid caregiverburnout for yourself?
Speaker 4 (03:45):
Great question, so it's kind of funny.
Some of the skills that I teachwith staff or with the
individuals I work with areliterally the skills that I love
using.
I spent several years workingwith kids and teens and there
was a lot of mindfulnesstechniques that we used to
practice, and some of the mostsimplest techniques are the ones
(04:06):
that stick with me, such as,like the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 breathing
technique.
So demonstrate.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
Tell me what that means?
What's the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1breathing technique?
Speaker 4 (04:17):
So it's more of a mindfulness.
You're just paying attention toyour breathing.
You're looking around, findingfive things you see around you.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
And.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
I'm going to do this just because I'm a handsy person
, hands-on person when I do it.
But I'll look around and spotfive things around me.
Is there some artwork?
There's a lamp, and thenthere's four things I'm going to
feel.
So, for the folks that likereally feel calm with sensory
pieces, I'm going to feel thecouch, feel my hair, feel this
pen over here, and four things,and then hear three things.
So I'm going to sit in silenceand hear three things.
(04:49):
So I could hear my breathing, Icould hear the wind outside and
I could hear maybe the heateror something, for instance.
And then two things, two thingsI could smell.
That one's a little challenging, so you might have to pick up
something or find a cup ofcoffee, smell that or see if
there's any smells floatingaround in the air.
And then one thing is going tobe, one thing you can taste.
(05:12):
So if you have a hard piece ofcandy or your coffee or drink
next to you, you're going totake a sip of that.
By the time you get through allthose whatever was stressing
you out, you're probably notthinking about it because you're
putting all your energyfocusing on that.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
And I love that.
I do that as well, so that is afantastic.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
One of the things I love about that.
Thank you for explaining thattoo.
By the way.
I love how that grounds you innow, because a lot of times when
we're going through a problemlist or we're having these,
we're getting stuck in ourthoughts and worry.
We're not thinking about what'shappening right now.
(05:51):
We're thinking about how thingshappened in the past, what
bothered us about a pastconversation.
We're thinking about, oh no,how am I going to deal with not
having enough money for this?
Or what about my flat tire?
You know things, whatever elsethat you're worried about, how
am I going to deal with thisnext client that just they've
(06:13):
been out of control every timeI've seen them?
And then it can get you out ofyour head and into the present
and ground you into now and thatcan help you just be so much
more ready to deal with the nextchallenge.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
I love that.
Do you have any othertechniques that you use?
Speaker 4 (06:33):
I do breathing techniques I really like, just
like the basics too.
The simpler it is, the easierit is for me to implement that
in the middle of my day.
So typically a normal officeday for me would be I'm working
on a report and I'm doing somedata mining, trying to figure
out patterns of behavior, andthen someone will probably come
into the office and say, hey, Ineed you to work on this real
(06:54):
quick.
And then someone will come inwith a crisis and then my
on-call phone's going to ringand there's that.
And so automatically I'm likehow do I prioritize what I'm
going to do next?
So those five, four, the fivefour, three, two.
One grounding skill is one goodarea.
Sometimes I just need to take adeep breath.
If that doesn't work, sometimesI'll just take a walk outside.
Right now it's cold outside andthat's super therapeutic for me
(07:16):
, cause I'm like, oh, this isuncomfortable, but it's also
taking me out of my mind andhelping me slow down.
So I like to keep it simple,just because that's another job
if I have to think about how tocalm myself down or feel better.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
That's so good, so go ahead, jeff.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
I was just going to ask.
I know personally things that Ifeel in my body when I'm
feeling stressed.
What things do you feel in yourbody or that you notice other
people feel, to be able to helpthem recognize when stress is
getting the best of them?
Speaker 4 (07:51):
So for myself, I notice sometimes my heart rate
will go up a little bit, or Ijust I'm tense, so my muscles
are tense and I'll be sitting inmy chair just like really.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
With your ears on your shoulders.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
Yes, and I'm like what's going on?
And it takes me a minutesometimes to realize I've been
sitting this way for who knowshow long.
So just being able to check inwith that, I also noticed, kind
of you know, my interactions, myinterpersonal interactions are
a little bit different.
I'm either short with words orlike I don't have a lot to say
and I'm just ready to be donewith the conversation.
So that's my instant cue.
(08:30):
If I'm at the office and I'mlike, okay, I'm done with this
conversation and I'm not evenpresent with what the content of
the conversation is, if I'm notpresent in the moment, I think
that's a huge piece.
I've noticed other people saythat they get physical symptoms,
headaches, migraines.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
For me, I get a twitch.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
I get an eye twitch or a little facial twitch and if
I start feeling that, I know Ineed to stop, take a couple of
deep breaths and just let myshoulders push down towards my
hips so that I can take thepressure out of those things and
practice those mindful skillsthat you're talking about.
That's just me, so I appreciatethe other things that you're
(09:10):
talking about.
Speaker 4 (09:11):
I think standing up is also a good one.
Just getting out If you're in asitting position, I think
that's huge.
Another one I noticed is reallynot being able to focus on
whatever I'm working on.
Like it should not be thatdifficult to continue the task,
but if my mind's on somethingand I can't necessarily pinpoint
what it is on my mind and it'sjust kind of blurry, that's my
cue to did I eat?
(09:33):
Did I drink water?
Did I walk, what's?
Speaker 2 (09:37):
going on Exactly.
Do that checkoff list.
What do I need to do different?
Speaker 4 (09:42):
Yeah, it might look different for every person, but
having that kind ofself-check-in, even, maybe even
setting a timer on your phonelike hey, check-in moment.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Oh, fantastic, I love that and we're so.
When you're working, we're insuch a seated position so much
of the time.
I like that.
A lot of places that do officework have sit-to-stand desks.
That has really helped, I think, a lot with stress and being
able to just detach yourselffrom your screen every hour or
(10:18):
two so that you can look outsideand see the environment you're
in and get yourself grounded.
I love the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
I'm going to use that and sohaving those opportunities and I
tell people all the time,especially if they bring me
problems like their lowerextremities are getting swollen
(10:39):
or they feel pain in their feetor their legs, but yet they sit
all day long and they don't doanything other than sit there
looking at a computer screen.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
So they recommend, you know, every hour, to get up
and move.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Right.
And I'm one of those people whorecommend that.
Speaker 4 (10:58):
I agree.
It's also an opportunity tojust take a.
If you're in an office or worksetting, it is that one hour
check-in you could walk aroundand just check in with the
environment.
Sometimes it's I feel like Ilock myself in my office
sometimes and I'm there forseveral hours because I'm
focused on like trying to getthis data and make sure it makes
sense and I forget that likethere's a whole world outside of
(11:20):
my office Right, yeah, well,that's one thing that I try to
do is I'll do like jumping jacksin between clients or something
to just get the blood movingthrough my legs and get the
oxygen up to my brain so I canthink again.
I keep a stress ball.
I have some of those likestretch bands.
So I tried to do like justreally simple Like.
(11:41):
If it feels like again, if itfeels like a workout or a job, I
probably won't do itsuccessfully.
But if it's just there and I'mlike, oh, let me pull this
exercise ball right here, let me, like, do some simple exercises
, I found that was just supernice If I don't put too much
energy into what it is justdoing something.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
And it only has to be for a few seconds, I mean you
don't have to do it for 15minutes you just do it for 15
seconds.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
But that time adds up .
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Yeah, definitely, okay, excellent, thank you.
So many caregivers feel guiltywhen they take time for
themselves.
How can they shift theirmindset to understand that
self-care isn't selfish?
Now, we've talked a lot aboutthis on our podcast in the past,
but I would just like to knowwhat are your self-care things
(12:34):
that you like to do for you?
Oh, sheesh.
Speaker 4 (12:36):
There's so many Good, Share them.
I try to implement it.
I mean spending time with mydog.
So I have I have two dogs, butmy German shepherd is one that's
like, she loves hiking andgoing on adventures.
And we live in Washington andit's beautiful, so I take every
opportunity I can to spend sometime outside walking my dog.
(12:57):
That's probably my immediatego-to if I'm stressed, if I'm
overwhelmed, if I need to pausewalking with my dog, and maybe
even going to like RiversideState Park, just checking out
places that take me away from myhome.
So that's my number one.
In the summer, kayaking isreally peaceful for me.
I just I love going kayaking.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Ooh, that's cool.
I love being on the water.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
I remember.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
I used to do that.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
Yeah, so anything water related.
I have a friend that hasproperty up in the Green Bluff
area and so sometimes I'll sitthere overlooking Mount Spokane
and sit in a hot tub and read abook or listen to podcasts.
I just like how simple it canbe.
I used to make everything, so Iused to be kind of wanting to
(13:41):
be a perfectionist and makingthings so much more complicated
than it had to be.
I was like I just need to gooutside.
So I appreciate how simple likethe things I love to do
Spending time with family.
If I feel like I'm losingconnection, if I've spent too
much time isolating orintroverted time, I'll connect
with family.
But yeah, those are some of thethings I love to do.
(14:04):
I'm also super crafty and lovebaking.
So anything that has to do withsome random craft or baking for
other people, I absolutely lovedoing that.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
Well, and you talked in the last episode about
recreating your grandmother'srecipe, and that was probably
something that really relaxedyou and let you feel all the
feels for being in the past andin the present.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
It was so much fun.
I wish I could show you guysthe fail I've now.
As I get a little bit older, Ifind so much joy in the mistakes
or the failed experiments ofstuff that it doesn't have to be
great and perfect the firsttime, and so things like the
recipe not turning out well ishilarious.
But maybe in the past that wassomething that brought me a
little more stress.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
So Well, that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Don't you wish that you could take the person that
you are now and tell that formeryounger self hey, stop being
such a perfectionist, it's okayto fail, it's okay to do all
these things and just, you'regoing to be great and we just,
at the younger age, I don't, Iknow.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
I appreciate where you're coming from.
As always, youth is wasted onthe young.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
But I'm grateful I got to the point where I am now.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
So as long as I'm not in that way before.
Speaker 4 (15:20):
I will take that as a total win.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
That's great, Jeff.
What are some of your self-carethings you do?
Speaker 3 (15:27):
Well in the moment, deep breathing.
That helps me a lot Especially.
I go from room to room to roomto room all day long and after
dealing with particularlydifficult issues with a patient,
sometimes I have to take aminute in between patients I'll
just stand in front of the doorand take a couple of deep
(15:51):
breaths, let my shoulders dropand then say, okay, I can do
this, and then open the door andgo in the next one.
Sometimes I'll stop and go intomy office and just take a drink
of water, and when I talk allthe time as a physician, you can
get a little dry mouth, andhaving something to drink helps
(16:13):
me connect with my body a littlebit more and help me feel more
like I'm getting somewhere.
And one of the things thatreally makes me happy is on my
schedule I have little checkmarks on the next to the names
of the patients that I'vealready seen, and it makes me
happy when I've gotten throughthem and I've got all the check
marks done.
So I you know I'm a check markguy and I'm one of those guys
(16:37):
that you know if I've got thingsto do.
I like to feel how good itfeels to have the check marks
done.
Now I I don't look at them asthose check marks as, oh good,
I've treated and streeted thesepeople, that I've worked through
my workday, and that's what I'mhappy about.
But over and beyond, I'm a pilotand I love to get in the
(17:01):
airplane and go fly, and I loveit even more when Tricia can go
with me, but I'll go whenever Ican.
Yeah, and it's fun to just getin the airplane and see the
world from a God's eye view andto be able to just and sometimes
I just get in the airplane andI just fly around.
It's not like I'm flying toanywhere or from anywhere, it's
(17:24):
just I just go, fly around thearea and look at the beauty of
the area.
There's lakes and streams andwaterfalls and mountains and
things all around us, and sojust to fly over them and take a
look at them is just reallyrelaxing.
I can't say grounding, becauseit's not on the ground, but it
is so nice for me and to be.
(17:48):
I don't know if you've ever feltlike this when you were in a
car when you were growing up.
I don't know if you've everfelt like this when you were in
a car when you were growing up,but sometimes when I was in a
car growing up, I was a littlecarsick and I just didn't really
like that, and then when I gotbehind the wheel, I never felt
carsick ever again.
The same is true when you getin an airplane.
If you're sitting in the backlooking through the little
(18:10):
portholes of an aircraft whenyou're flying somewhere, you can
get airsick.
You can, you know, be anxiousthings like that, and it'd be
uncomfortable.
But when you're sitting in thefront seat and you are the
person in charge of the aircraft, all of that stuff goes away,
and when you're competent as apilot, it isn't nerve wracking,
(18:32):
it's actually freeing, and sothat's one of the things I feel
and enjoy.
That sounds so peaceful, oh,it's wonderful, and I like
taking walks with Tricia.
We take our dog and we go for acouple mile walk.
That's also something that'srelaxing for me and I'm learning
.
I'm trying and I'm learning tolove working out in the morning.
(18:53):
I'm doing a better job of that,but I've really needed that
with the added stress I've hadlately.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Yeah, he's been doing really well with that.
That's great, excellent, okay,so let's talk about boundaries.
What are some healthy wayscaregivers can set boundaries
without guilt?
Speaker 4 (19:11):
That's a good, good question.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
She has a lot of those good questions.
That one threw me a little offguard.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
I'm like that's like I think the without guilt piece
is some of the self-work youhave to do on like coming to
terms with it's okay to haveboundaries.
So I think, accepting withinyourself, hey, it's okay to have
boundaries, and then practicesetting them and being okay with
it.
I think that's maybe a practicekind of piece, Like I don't
(19:38):
know if it just magically comesout of anywhere, but I think
what helps people find thatsupport and come to the
realization that it is okay tohave boundaries, nothing's going
to go terribly wrong and alsowe need to take care of
ourselves.
I think those support groupsare just having a community,
Whatever that looks like for theperson is so important.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
Sorry, nisha, I like to interrupt.
I'm sorry about that, but tellme what you would classify as a
couple of generic yet veryhealthy boundaries that are
specific.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
I would say, setting the boundaries of, hey, I'm
needing to cook my dinner, andsaying, hey, I'm not going to
take you to the store right now.
So I think it's very generic,it's not pinpointed anything.
But if someone was reallytrying to push your boundary, or
hey, I want this toy almostlike, or I want this item bought
(20:37):
for me, and financially that'sjust not reasonable, instead of
giving your all for the thing,saying, hey, this is not
something we can do right now,or just setting up the goal.
Or just setting up the goal Idon't know if it's going to be
goal-oriented or what thescenario is for that boundary
but being okay, saying no inwhatever situation, that is no,
we can't go to this place.
(20:58):
No, I can't buy this.
No, I can't stop what I'm doingright now because I'm working
Again, easier said than done.
It sounds so easy to say, justset a boundary.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
But I know, even until this day I have a hard
time and a boundary, but I know,even until this day, I have a
hard time, and I always have tocheck myself and say I think
that you said the right thingright there.
The key phrase is being able tosay no and being okay with it.
You know that that is the mostsimple boundary ever, but it is
so profound, so I love what youjust said there being able to
(21:31):
say no and being okay with it.
Speaker 4 (21:35):
And I could agree.
There's no way to get to thatpoint, but it is doable and I
think the more you set thoseboundaries, the more it will be
understood and respected.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Oh, I like that.
Speaker 4 (21:49):
You will get less pushback on the boundary once
people know like, hey, you seemserious about this boundary and
it's not going to bend.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
And be consistent Excellent.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Super Okay.
So how can caregivers ask forhelp when they feel overwhelmed?
Many struggle with reaching out.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
I think the first piece is identifying that you
need help.
So no one's going to know ifthere's an issue or concern or
support needed if you can'treach out and say, hey, I need
support and I don't know what'sgoing on.
A lot of times, I think fromthe outside perspective, it
looks like the caregivers haveeverything under control and
there's no issues.
(22:31):
It looks like the caregivershave everything under control
and there's no issues.
So, unless if that caregiver islike, hey, I'm struggling here,
this is playing a toll on mymental health on my day to day.
So I think that's a huge firststart.
I hear so often and I've evenhad family members like people
think I'm doing great because Ihave it under control and I'm
taking care of this person andin realistic like, their blood
pressure is getting high, theireating's messed up, they're not
(22:53):
sleeping well and they're undera lot of stress.
So I think, accepting andunderstanding, hey, I am in a
stressful situation and beingable to talk to someone about it
, whoever that person is, inhopes that that person will be
able to say, hey, have you triedthis?
And, if not, keep talking.
I don't think it's something.
Do not invalidate your ownexperience of what you're going
(23:16):
through and thinking that peoplearen't going to understand or
not want to hear it.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Okay, don't invalidate your own experience.
Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 4 (23:25):
We talk about validating other people's
experiences, but do we validateour own experience?
Like we just brush it aside andwe focus on the other person,
and it's sometimes hard to justtake a pause and be like, oh
wait, did I just brush off myown experience as not as big of
an important.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
Yeah, oh, I think that's so good.
So good, okay.
So what role does communitysupport play in avoiding burnout
?
We've kind of been talkingabout burnout, but I wanted to
ask this question and where cancaregivers find resources?
Speaker 4 (23:57):
So in the supported living situation a lot of times
agencies have they already knowcaregiver burnout's a huge piece
.
So there's a lot of tools builtin, whether it's calming rooms,
online virtual rooms, trainingson support and a lot of
resources and if you're in anemployment type setting, you
have, like your EAP and kind ofsupportive resources.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
What does EAP mean?
Speaker 4 (24:20):
Employment Assistant Program.
So a lot of jobs have thosebuilt into and they'll have like
counseling and a lot of thingsthat resources for caregivers.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
So one of the things that do you find that when
people are reaching out, thatsome people don't fit the needs
of the person that's having thecrisis moment.
So if you go into a counselingsituation and you don't feel
safe, you don't have aconnection, you don't feel heard
(24:53):
even though't have a connection.
You don't feel heard eventhough validation is such a big
part of counseling.
If you don't feel like you'reconnecting with your counselor
or a person that you're tryingto connect with, then that's the
wrong person 100% agree on thatand I think it's important for
people when I say don't you know?
Speaker 4 (25:12):
don't stop talking to people about your experience.
Also, don't give up on theprocess.
When I meet with folks forindividual counseling, I'm like
you know we might not be theright fit, it's okay, it's so
okay if we're not the right fitfor each other, because someone
is the right fit for you, butit's not a.
You know, there's not onetherapist who's going to be
perfect for every single person,or one counselor or one support
(25:34):
network.
So I think it's super importantto just go out there, and it
might take a little bit ofhomework at first, but when
you're with the right people,the right resources just really
are there, and if they're not,there's the right community of
people who understand that theresources aren't available that
you need.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
And that at least helps the isolation piece.
Oh, that's so helpful and I feellike there are so many maybe
occupation-specific people totalk with.
There's situation-specificpeople, like people that have a
person at home that needs 24-7care, People that have a person
at home that needs 24-7 care.
That's a specific group ofcaregivers that they can relate
(26:16):
to each other really well, butif you're not talking to
somebody in that situation, theywouldn't really be able to
offer you any kind of support.
Finding your people is such animportant part of this of the
process of improvement of yourself-burnout, of your burnout.
(26:38):
Am I on the right track on that?
Speaker 4 (26:40):
I absolutely agree.
Definitely don't give up onthat process.
I'm not a huge fan of socialmedia, but one thing that is a
strength of social media is thatsometimes it connects support
groups.
That is a strength of socialmedia is that sometimes it
connects support groups onlinewhen it's not accessible in
person or due to your timeconstraints or work or whatever
it is you're doing.
And so if in person isn'tpossible or you can't find your
(27:03):
people, definitely reach out todifferent support groups.
You will find someone who willbe able to direct you in the
right place.
Or you might just find yourgroup, and I just think it's
priceless to be able to directyou in the right place.
Or you might just find yourgroup, and I just think it's
priceless to be able to havesomeone who understands what
you're going through and can beunjudgmental, and there and
everyone needs that.
(27:24):
I mean, that goes way beyondcaregiver, burnout and just in
general.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
Yeah, oh, thank you.
That's so great.
All right, so, nisha, you'veworked with so many families.
Can you share a success storythat really stands out, one
where a behavior plan made ahuge impact?
Speaker 4 (27:44):
Okay.
So right now I'm working withprimarily individuals in
supported living agency andright now I'm actually currently
working on a plan where thisperson has more independence in
the community.
And so what it looked like waswhen I first started working
with this individual notdirectly all the time, because
I'm doing like the behind thescenes plan writing, teaching
(28:05):
the staff but they had a lot ofrestrictions, their sharps were
restricted, they couldn't bealone in the community.
They had two staff.
Over time this person joinedour Green Zone.
So my agency has a programcalled Green Zone but it's kind
of like mindfulness DBT.
There's a lot of skills takenfrom different modalities to
(28:26):
adapt to the agency and thisindividual.
She went through the wholeprogram, graduated from the
program and at the end of thatone was able to know enough
skills to even teach some of thecalming skills and how to get
through it.
But also a lot of herrestrictions were reduced and
we're now on the point where shecould go to the grocery store
(28:49):
and practice doing most of theshopping by herself.
And this is a person with at onepoint was hospitalized at
Eastern, had extreme behaviors,also developmental disability,
and now we're in a place where Imean, they've come a long way
and it's just such a beautifulthing to see.
And the behavior plans are whatfuel practicing those skills.
(29:11):
So without that behavior planin place they wouldn't know what
green zone skills ormindfulness skills to work with.
And it definitely took a lot oftime practicing those skills.
But you get to see the strengthand ability a person has.
I think we get stuck thinkingsome people can't change or we
don't see change fast enough, soit doesn't seem like change is
(29:31):
happening at all.
So it's really great to havethose little moments where you
could see someone actually makea drastic change, even if it
took two to three to four years.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
Right.
Speaker 3 (29:40):
Yeah, so yeah, I mean just as a point of
clarification to you mentionedthat she was hospitalized at
Eastern and I wanted to put alittle exclamation mark on what
that means.
When a person is hospitalizedat Eastern State Hospital,
that's a locked mental healthunit and that is a place where
(30:04):
sometimes criminally anddangerously mentally ill people
reside with 24-7 surveillance.
So in order for a person tounderstand how incredibly sick
this person was that Lisa'stalking about, that's the
situation she was in at EasternState Hospital.
Speaker 4 (30:25):
Absolutely, and it's amazing to see the growth.
I wasn't there for the wholeprocess, but I've got to see the
growth over time and now I workwith this person every single
week.
We meet and check in and justit's unbelievable.
Like it's not perfect, there'sstill you know, times where
emotions get dysregulated.
But how old is she?
(30:47):
She is 24, 24 now.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Okay, okay, wow.
Well, that sounds like she'sbeen in since 18.
Speaker 4 (30:56):
So she started supported living, I think at 18
or 19, and with belts of Easternand for state station.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
And that was helpful for her.
Speaker 4 (31:09):
It was.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (31:11):
I mean it took so long to get to that point.
So I think the reason I sharethat is because for the folks
who are with the individualthey're helping out or who the
caregivers you're with themevery day, 24, seven, it's
really hard to see the littlechange and see the big picture
that, like something big likethis can happen.
(31:31):
I'm sure the staff providingservices when she first started
supported living did not seethat she would be where she is
today.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
That's great.
It's glad to see progress.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Yeah, that's great.
Thank you for sharing that.
So if you could change onething about society and how they
support individuals withdisabilities, what would it be?
Speaker 4 (31:53):
I would just say the communication around it, the
understanding that I would justsay the education and
communication about it.
I think a lot of people make uptheir own idea of what they
think a person with disabilitycan and can't do.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Because I think people are fearful.
Speaker 4 (32:09):
Yeah, and I think just having more education
available about it, having moreplatforms where people can ask
questions and challenge whattheir judgments or thoughts are,
what people told them about it,I think that's a good start.
I think just the knowledgepiece of it.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
Excellent, fantastic.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
I think it's really easy to kind of group or lump
everyone that has a mentaldisability or a mental illness
into a group of those people youknow and instead of recognize
they're all individuals withstrengths and value, and that's
(32:52):
the thing that I think is areally hard one to have the
population at large havecompassion for us to value.
Speaker 4 (33:02):
And I think just the stigma around people with
disabilities or mental health,like reducing that and also
knowing that there's a wholespectrum of like what that looks
like mental health illnessthere's day to day.
I mean, there's a lot of peopleyou don't know have mental
health illness or maybe adevelopmental disability and
they're functioning just fine.
So, it's really the assumptionthat breaking that stigma, or
(33:25):
assumption that if you have amental health illness or a
disability, that you can'tfunction and do the day-to-day
things that everyone else does.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
Yep so yeah, excellent, so good.
So is there any final insightor advice that you would like to
leave our listeners with today?
Speaker 4 (33:44):
I would just say, caregiver or not, the self-care
piece is so important.
The older I get, the more Irealize like, hey, I do like
using these skills and Iremember a time teaching them to
like kiddos and they're like oh, this is stupid, I don't like
this skill.
And then you see them using theskill and they're like oh, I
feel better and now I'm doingthat for myself regularly and
(34:06):
just remembering to take care ofyourself.
Like I think that answers allthe questions we've talked about
.
Like if we're not able to bethere for ourselves, we can't be
there for other people.
It's really going to be hard tohelp someone if we can't make
sure we're taking care ofourselves.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
Wonderful.
I love that being self-awareand then taking care of yourself
so good.
Speaker 4 (34:27):
The best that you can with what you're working with.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
Right and you can't use tools you don't have.
So seek out tools and seek outpeople that know more than you,
so that you can get better on anongoing basis.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
So yeah, I love that.
Seek out people that know morethan you Very good.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (34:46):
I love that idea too.
I love learning, so like itcomes natural to me and I forget
sometimes that some peopledon't naturally want to reach
out and do those things.
So I think that's a great tipfor folks.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
Sounds great, jeff, do you have any other last
minute remarks?
You'd like to make.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
Just a plug for something that's coming up for
us.
I think that it's important toknow that we find this
incredibly important to haveself-care and help you
understand your own limitationsand your own needs, and there's
specific care that is needed bypeople that understand medicine.
(35:32):
If you're a doctor, forinstance, and you are in a
relationship with your spouse,that is sometimes difficult
because of the balance thathappens between your career and
your family, and Tricia and Iare developing a new program to
help physicians and spousesimprove their relationships so
(35:56):
that they don't run into somehuge problems that can happen in
these very specificrelationships.
So this is one of thosedeveloping communities that
we're working on right now to beable to give back to a
community that has helped us,and we are looking forward to it
.
Speaker 2 (36:16):
We are, and when we were putting things together, it
was what are all the thingsthat we wish that we had going
through training and earlymarriage, medical marriage and
we hope that this will be ableto reach many, many medical
families out there that arestruggling.
(36:37):
Nisha, thank you so much forjoining us.
This was so great.
It was just so fun to have youon.
Great to see you.
You're beautiful.
Thank you, yes, and we also wantto thank our listeners, and if
today's episode resonated withyou, please remember you're not
alone and please remember thatthere's help out there.
(37:00):
We're there to help you, we'rethere to help you and there's
resources to help you as well.
We will make sure that we'llput things in the show notes
that Nisha has suggested for you.
She was just a wealth ofinformation and we're so
grateful that she was here withus.
If you have a burning questionor if you need a health coach to
(37:22):
help you navigate life'schallenges, I'd love to help you
create a plan that works foryou as well.
So reach out anytime at TrishaJameson coaching at gmailcom,
and until next time, take careand keep thriving wellness
warriors.
See you next time.
Thank you, bye-bye.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Bye.
Thanks for tuning into the Q&AFiles, delighted to share
today's gems of wisdom with you.
Your questions light up ourshow, fueling the engaging
dialogues that make ourcommunity extra special.
Keep sending your questions totrishajamesoncoaching at
gmailcom.
Your curiosity is our compass.
Please hit, subscribe, spreadthe word and let's grow the
(38:00):
circle of insight and communitytogether.
I'm Trisha Jameson, signing off.
Stay curious, keep thriving andkeep smiling, and I'll catch
you on the next episode.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Cold Case Files: Miami
Joyce Sapp, 76; Bryan Herrera, 16; and Laurance Webb, 32—three Miami residents whose lives were stolen in brutal, unsolved homicides. Cold Case Files: Miami follows award‑winning radio host and City of Miami Police reserve officer Enrique Santos as he partners with the department’s Cold Case Homicide Unit, determined family members, and the advocates who spend their lives fighting for justice for the victims who can no longer fight for themselves.