April 7, 2025 • 59 mins
What if the overwhelm, anxiety, and exhaustion you're feeling aren't signs of weakness, but your body's brilliant attempt to protect you? In this illuminating conversation with nervous system resilience coach Leah Davidson, we dive deep into the hidden language of your nervous system and how it shapes everything from your sleep quality to your ability to trust after betrayal.
Leah explains why our nervous systems toggle between hyperarousal (anxiety, irritability, racing thoughts) and shutdown (numbness, exhaustion, disconnection) when we perceive danger. She demystifies the vagus nerve—that mysterious communication highway carrying messages between brain and body—and reveals why 80% of these signals travel from body to brain, not the other way around. This explains why trying to "think yourself calm" rarely works as effectively as bottom-up approaches like breathwork and movement.
For those struggling with sleep issues, Leah offers a powerful reframe: "Your sleep is usually indicative of your nervous system state throughout the day." Sleep difficulties after betrayal trauma aren't coincidental—they're directly connected to your body's heightened vigilance. The good news? Your nervous system is remarkably adaptable, and with consistent practice, you can rewire those protective patterns.
Perhaps most reassuring is Leah's compassionate reminder that dysregulation isn't a character flaw but an adaptive response: "It's not because I was broken. It's because I brilliantly adapted to whatever was going on in my world that was very overwhelming." Through simple daily practices, community connection, and self-compassion, you can gradually create more safety in your nervous system and access the resilience that's always been within you.
Ready to befriend your nervous system and transform your relationship with stress? Subscribe to the Q&A Files for more conversations that blend cutting-edge science with practical wisdom.
Have a question for us? Email trishajamisoncoaching@gmail.com—your curiosity might spark our next episode!
Is your marriage on the rocks? Schedule a free 30 min consult with Trisha, the "marriage whisperer!" Email her at trishajamisoncoaching@gmail.com today!
If you’re looking to dive deeper into nervous system regulation, resilience, and self-growth, Leah Davidson is an incredible resource. Here’s where you can connect with her and explore her work:
Website:
Instagram:
Facebook:
Join the Nervous System Journaling Club:
Connect with a community of like-minded individuals and dive into nervous system regulation practices.
Check Out Her Resilience Journal on Amazon:
Part of the Resilient Brilliance brand—this guided journal is designed to support nervous system regulation, mindfulness, and self-care.
Mental Health Journal for Anxiety Relief, Stress Management & Personal Growth (BlueGrey)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Hello and welcome to the Q&A Files, the ultimate
health and wellness playground.
I'm your host, tricia Jamieson,a board-certified functional
nutritionist and lifestylepractitioner, ready to lead you
through a world of healthdiscoveries.
Here we dive into a tapestry ofdisease prevention to nutrition
, exercise, mental health andbuilding strong relationships,
all spiced with diverseperspectives.
(00:29):
It's not just a podcast, it's acelebration of health, packed
with insights and a twist of fun.
Welcome aboard the Q&A Files,where your questions ignite our
vibrant discussions and lead toa brighter you.
Welcome back, wellness warriors, to another episode of the Q&A
Files.
I'm Tricia Jamieson, your host,a functional nutritionist and
lifestyle practitioner and alife coach.
(00:50):
And, as always, I have with meour awesome Dr Jeff, our
birth-certified family physician.
So glad to have you here withme today, jeff.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Hey, glad to be here.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
So, before we dive in , we like to start with some
celebrations.
We love talking about a momentto acknowledge our wins are big
or small, anything in between,because celebrating is actually
a form of nervous systemregulation.
And I've invited Leah and we'regoing to talk.
I'm going to introduce her injust a minute, but I want her to
join us in a celebration.
(01:21):
So, leah, our listeners don'tknow exactly who you are yet,
but I'm just going to throw youinto the loop here with us.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Right under the bus.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
That's right.
That's right.
I'm all nervous.
Already my nervous system isgetting activated.
I can feel it.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
But I love how much, how intentional you are about
noticing the good, and that'ssomething that I like to do as
well, but I think that you knowyou do such a great job with
that.
So what's something you'recelebrating today?
Speaker 3 (01:50):
I am celebrating the sunshine and I truly I thought
of this before I got on thiscall that spring is my favorite
season Because to me, itrepresents hope.
You know, when I went for mywalk this morning, the sun was
coming up.
I started to see little buds onthe tree and it's a reminder.
You know, I live in, I live inCanada and in Toronto, and we
(02:11):
have a lot of gray, gray, graywinter days.
The sun is out, the buds aregoing.
It's a reminder of newbeginnings.
Every day is a fresh start.
Every day is a new start and itjust makes me feel, I mean, the
sun has so many benefits, butjust the idea that here we go,
we're starting into spring.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Yay, we woke up to snow yesterday, but the sun is
shining today and the snow hasmelted, so that's good.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
That's right.
Well, we had a ton of snow.
It's all melting.
That's the other thing Icommented on, actually, to my
husband the other day.
I was like how is it possiblethat we had several feet of snow
and it all gets absorbed intothe earth and here we are.
It's clear again.
It's just such a marvelousthing.
Nature is incredible.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Yeah, seriously so good.
Oh, I love that.
Thank you, just makes me smile.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
It sure is.
Well, I'm just going to go next, if that's okay.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Yes, you go.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Okay.
So it's funny because mycelebration also is about
sunshine, but it's for adifferent reason.
When I am seeing blue sky, Ithink of flying.
I'm a private pilot and I havehopefully an opportunity to get
in an airplane today and maybedo a little flying around and
that might be something.
(03:28):
And that's where I see sort ofthe God's eye view of the world
and things and it just gets meto a happy place.
And so that's my celebrationtoday is being in the happy
place.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Oh, fantastic, I love both of those answers.
Well, I'm going to pile on witha celebration, and this
includes both of you.
So I'm so excited because weare just six months away from
our Italy trip, and Leah isbasically the one in charge of
all this.
We've got a group going andwe're going to be with amazing
(04:03):
women and we're going to be inthe most beautiful places in the
world and we're going to talkmore about that.
And a special bonus is Dr Jeffand I will be going ahead of
time.
We'll be going early and we'regoing to be doing a cruise all
the way around Italy.
And we've always wanted to go toEurope, so our trip made it
even more possible for Jeff andI to go now.
(04:25):
So we are so excited.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Well, I can't wait to hear more about your cruise.
But, yes, europe.
If you have not been to Europe,oh my gosh.
And Italy is probably one of mymost favorite countries in
Europe.
I can.
I've been multiple times.
I can return to it over andover and over.
You are going to love it.
I, I can guarantee that.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
I can't wait for the food.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Oh, exactly, yeah, yeah, there's nothing like food
in Italy.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
There will be no dieting while we are on this
cruise.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
And it's funny because I just did a recent
episode on all the junkpreservatives in American food.
So we are really excited to gotaste some real food.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Everything's fresh, everything's in the markets.
Yeah, it's amazing.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Okay, so exciting.
So we've got some fun thingsthat we're going to be looking
forward to coming up here in thenext few months.
But I seriously cannot wait forthis conversation today because
, speaking of resilience andlet's be honest, international
travel takes a lot of nervoussystem regulation right.
So I think conversation isgoing to be such a gift to our
(05:34):
listeners.
Now let me tell you why I'm soexcited for today's guest.
Leah Davidson is not just anexpert in her field, she's also
a great friend of mine.
We first connected throughclass by Jodi Moore we both took
, and since then I've had theprivilege of learning from Leah
through multiple trainings onher nervous system resilience
programs.
I'm currently in herconnections group and I
(05:57):
absolutely love it and I'velearned so much.
We're going to talk more aboutthe connections group, but Leah
is a nervous system resiliencecoach and speech language
pathologist with over 26 yearsof experience, particularly in
the area of traumatic braininjury.
She's the host of the BuildingResilience podcast and offers an
advanced nervous systemresilience training as well as a
(06:19):
monthly membership calledConnections, where she helps
people learn to befriend theirpersonal nervous system.
She's also the founder ofResilient Brilliance, a
stationary brand focused onemotional well-being and nervous
system care.
Leah is deeply passionate abouthelping people regulate their
nervous system, reduce stress,build resilience and uncover
(06:39):
their purpose.
She lives in Toronto with herhusband and their blended family
of five grown kids, and whenshe's not coaching, she loves
traveling, and boy has shetraveled all over the place, and
we just need to have a podcastjust for some of these amazing
places that she's gone to, Causeshe talks about them, she loves
to journal walk and she evendoodles her nervous system as
(07:01):
well.
So, leah, welcome to the Q&AFiles.
We are so thrilled to have youhere.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
I'm so excited to hear from you.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
I'm so excited to be here.
Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Regulate that nervous system a little bit right now.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
So we can get those breathing techniques.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
But you know, a little bit of activation is
perfectly appropriate whenyou're getting into the mode of
talking and sharing.
And that's not all.
Energy activation is bad aslong as we're grounded in safety
and I'm all good because I'mwith friends and I love it,
(07:36):
Right, Okay?
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Well, we are excited because we've got an incredible
listener question today fromLexi, and I think so many people
are going to relate to whatshe's experiencing.
So she writes I keep hearingabout nervous system regulation,
but I don't fully understandwhat it means.
Is it just about managingstress, or does it affect more
(07:57):
than that?
How do I know if my nervoussystem is dysregulated?
I feel like I'm constantlyoverwhelmed.
Sometimes I shut downcompletely and other times I'm
anxious, irritable or reactive.
It feels like I'm either on oroff, with no in between.
Lately I've also been strugglingwith sleep.
I either can't sleep or fallasleep at all because my mind
(08:19):
won't shut off, or I crash fromexhaustion but still wake up
feeling unrested.
I've also heard the vagus nerveplays a role in this, but I
don't really understand how.
What exactly is the vagus nerveand how does it affect my
emotions, energy levels andsleep?
Also, I've had some betrayaltrauma in my past and I've
(08:41):
noticed that sleep my sleepstruggles got worse after that
experience.
Does betrayal trauma haveanything to do with why I'm not
sleeping well?
I want to feel more in control,but I don't know where to start
.
Can you help so?
Speaker 2 (08:55):
let's Holy smokes.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
First of all I don't know where to start Such a
loaded question, such a loadedquestion, and I want to thank
you-.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
It's not just one question.
That's about 10.
That's about 10.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
That's about 10.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
It's a whole class in nervous system right there.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
That's why it's so fantastic, and we're going to
see what we can get through wecan get through it.
Yeah, but first of all, I justwant to thank Lexi for her
honesty and for sending in sucha powerful question because, wow
, just like we talked about,there's so many layers here and
I know that this is somethingthat you work with all the time.
So, leah, let's break this downand start with the basics.
(09:30):
When people hear the termnervous system regulation, they
often assume it's just aboutstress relief.
But you always say the nervoussystem flavors everything we do.
That's right.
The nervous system flavorseverything we do.
Lexi's describing something somany people experience feeling
either overwhelmed and anxiousor completely shut down.
(09:51):
Can you explain why the nervoussystem operates this way and
what's really happening insidethe body?
Speaker 3 (09:58):
Right.
Well, I wanna start Triciafirst by just giving a bird's
eye view of what the nervoussystem is, because I think part
of the challenge is we all tookour grade 10 biology class and
we all sort of learned thebasics, but we didn't really
learn how the nervous system isimportant for us as humans and
(10:18):
how to use our nervous system.
So the nervous system isessentially the way the mind and
the body communicate with eachother and it is functioning
behind the scenes.
Like you said, it flavorseverything.
So if we think about itsfunctioning, it is taking care
of all the systems that need tobe automatically run in your
(10:38):
body.
So your breathing, yourdigestion, your heart rate.
The nervous system isregulating that and it is also
in charge of your survival, andthat's kind of a big task for it
.
And what it does is it istrying to make an assessment on
a very unconscious level whetheryou're safe or whether you're
in danger.
(10:58):
So do I need to activate thealarms, so to speak, that we're
in danger or am I consideredsafe?
So you can think of yournervous system as almost like an
alarm system in your house, asecurity system, a smoke
detector.
So it's always scanning, alwayson an unconscious level and as
you know, tricia, you've donelots of training with me we look
(11:21):
at it on three levels.
It's checking out what's goingon in my environment.
It's checking on what's goingon inside me and what's going on
between us.
So the three of us are sittinghere and our nervous systems are
looking environment.
I'm in my own environment.
I got the screen in front of me.
I'm sitting on a chair, Isunshine is outside, what's
going on inside me?
Well, my heart's pumping alittle bit.
(11:42):
You know this is this needssome energy.
I'm a little bit.
There's a judgment side sayingare you going to make a mistake?
What are people going to think?
So my stomach's a bit fluttery.
So I'm feeling those things andreading what's going on between
you.
You're nodding at me now.
Your face is very familiar, butI don't know, jeff.
So my nervous system is likecan I trust him?
Do I like him?
What's going on with him?
(12:03):
Based system is like can Itrust him?
Do I like him?
What's going on with him?
Based on these unconsciousthings, my nervous system will
send a signal of safety ordanger.
Now, if it senses safety, we'reall good and we just move ahead
and we feel all those thoughtsand emotions where we're feeling
like, yeah, I've got this goingon, I'm confident, I feel good,
I'm resilient, I'm patient.
But if there's a flavor ofdanger, my nervous system is
(12:27):
going to pick up on that andit's going to be watch out.
Leah, we need to get a bitactivated to protect you because
there could be some dangerthere.
So the protection that we firstwill go into is more of an
activated state, and this iswhat people talk about with
fight and flight, and it can beflavored like with some anxiety,
(12:50):
with some worry, with someoverthinking, but it could also
be flavored with like some angerand irritation and frustration.
So you notice energy rising inyour body.
That energy will come out inthe kind of thoughts you have,
the feelings, the actions,everything that you do.
It can also either it getstired of running, running,
(13:11):
running or it feels sooverwhelmed it can drop down
into a state of protection againthat is shut down and this is
where, numb, disconnected, maybe, there's some hopeless,
helpless feeling.
The nervous system has thesestates of protection for our
survival.
Now, a couple of key thingsabout why it's important to know
(13:33):
that we have these states is,first of all, when we are in
these states of protection, in ahyper aroused state or a hypo
aroused state our thinkingskills are mainly offline, and
that's because, if we think weare in danger, all energy has to
(13:54):
go towards taking care of myexistence.
I don't have time to be curiousand compassionate and be
thinking, you know, like problemsolving and managing my time.
No, it's like we're about todie.
We got to save ourselves, andso the nervous system, the
access to what I call our CEO,our thinking skills, is mainly
cut off.
The other thing for us to knowis as brilliant as our nervous
(14:18):
system is.
It's not super sensitive withreal and perceived threats and
it's not great with timemanagement.
Everything is on the same timeplane.
There's no timestamp, sosomething could have happened to
me 25 years ago and the nervoussystem doesn't know that it's
not now.
It feels like everything ishappening now and it picks up on
(14:42):
threats that often aren'tthreats.
So instead of if you think ofthis, like we have an alarm
system in the house, I want myalarm to go off when burglars
are in the house.
I don't want my alarm to go offevery time the wind blows and
my curtain moves, but ournervous system is constantly
(15:04):
scanning and if that curtainmoves, it's like you're in
danger.
You're in danger.
So we need to be able toregulate ourselves, meaning get
ourselves into a more relaxedzone so our CEO can come back on
board and she can walk aroundsaying board, and she can walk
(15:28):
around saying there's no burglarhere, it's just the curtains.
And when that happens now wecan get that.
Well, what are we going to doabout the curtains?
Is this a big deal?
Is this not a big deal?
So that's the overall job ofthe nervous system.
So, when we think of it, doesit manage stress?
Yes, but the main job is reallyteaching your body how to feel
(15:49):
safe and what is safe versuswhat is danger.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
I think that's a very interesting piece where people
that have PTSD let's just saythey went to Vietnam and had
some traumatic things happenthere and they hear a
thunderclap.
All of a sudden they're on thefloor with their head underneath
their hands, hoping for thebest, and yeah.
(16:14):
So I find that interestingabout the timeline and that you
don't know the timeline.
The brain doesn't understandthe timeline.
It doesn't understand.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
It hears that and right away, and that's
essentially PTSD.
Right, we get stimulated bydifferent environmental cues, or
cues within us, or cues betweenus that mimic something that
has happened in the past.
And right away, the nervoussystem, because there's no time
stamp, it's right back inVietnam.
When there is you know thenoise, it's right back there and
(16:45):
it thinks you're in that samedanger, even though we're like
no, this is, you know, 2025.
We're walking along you knowour neighborhood road.
It's a chopper that's above itdoesn't know that.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Right, and you hear those stories all the time.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
And, similarly, that you know when people have had
trauma with a spouse or traumawith or anything that can
trigger a memory that wasdetrimental to the system or
somehow made your body or yourmind feel you were unsafe.
You don't even have to beunsafe, it just remembers it and
(17:21):
sends the red flags up in theair and waves them really loudly
.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
Exactly, I had that, you know, when you were talking
about in relationships.
So I've been married previouslyand I remember I've been
married to my current husbandnow for 17 years and I remember
at the beginning we had bothexperienced betrayal trauma and
at the beginning we actuallyturned it into a little bit of a
joke because things wouldtrigger us.
We actually turned it into alittle bit of a joke because
things would trigger us and ourcue was to say to each other
(17:51):
wrong marriage.
Meaning that what we were beingtriggered about was nothing
that was happening between usright now.
It was something from ourprevious marriage that was
getting triggered.
And we made it a little bitlighthearted because I think the
nervous system it helps relaxwhen there's a bit of humor,
helps diffuse events whensomething would happen and one
(18:11):
of us would just be like wrongmarriage, oh, that's right.
It was a reminder to thenervous system.
We're not back there, we'rehere with this person in this
moment and this is what's goingon.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Well, so I really appreciate that.
So it's not just about feelingcalm or stressed, it's the lens
through which we experienceeverything in life.
That's right, yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
Exactly, exactly.
And that's powerful tounderstand, because we sometimes
will be on ourselves like whycan't I change that thought, why
can't I just get over something?
Or we'll even say to ourpartners or our children or our
parents, you know, like, oh,just get over it, just move on.
Just what's wrong?
Why can't you let it go, whycan't you change that thought,
(18:56):
when a lot of it has to do withthe nervous system?
And unless you address it atthe root of the nervous system,
you're going to keep returningto those same stories over and
over and over again.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Exactly, and so, just like you're mentioning, it's
our early life experiences orpast trauma that affects the way
someone's nervous systemresponds to it.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
Yeah, amongst other things.
I mean we do like our nervoussystem starts developing when
we're in utero, so that speaksto there's intergenerational
things that get passed on aswell.
We don't remember so many ofour experiences, but our body
does, our nervous system does,and throughout our life, which
(19:38):
is really crummy sometimes,really really crummy sometimes
yeah.
But the good news is is becauseof neuroplasticity, meaning that
the brain and the nervoussystem have the ability to
rewire and to change, that wecan change new experiences.
All the experiences that I amhaving right now and I will have
(19:58):
in the future will continue toshape my nervous system as well,
so that's very hopeful.
Continue to shape my nervoussystem as well, so that's very
hopeful.
Most of us have trauma in ourlife, some people will have more
than others and they often willfeel like I'm broken, I'm not
fixable, there's no hope for meand the beautiful, hopeful news
(20:20):
is absolutely not.
There's always hope, but weneed to have tools, we need to
have compassion, we need to havenew experiences so that we can
help shape our nervous systeminto that healthy, flexible
system that we need to haveresilience in our life.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
And that's why it's so important to get this kind of
information out, so people knowthat there is hope.
That's right.
So often they do feel broken.
They don't feel like there'sany direction that they can go
and there's anything that theycan do differently.
They're just stuck.
Yeah, I appreciate that verymuch.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
And I think it's important for people to find
safe spaces.
Yes, and sometimes you know youcan't even get to that without
being in a safe space for aperiod of time to be able to
allow your nervous system toderegulate or or return to some
sort of normalcy yeah, and andfinding that it's a tough.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
We're going to talk about that and we're going to
talk about safety in a minuteand I just want to say that it's
it's even more than findingsafe spaces.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
It's creating safe spaces oh, oh, I love that.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
Because I think sometimes, if we, you know,
language matters, if we talkabout, I need to find a safe
space.
That implies that it's external.
Now there are external thingsthat can help me create safety.
There are lots of external cuesand I can plant them, and there
may be places I can go where Ifeel safer than other places.
But the most important thing iscan we create safety?
(21:49):
Can we create safety within ourown body?
Can we create safety within ourown life, so that we can then
have healthy relationships?
Speaker 1 (21:58):
And I love that because I always tell my clients
that you have the opportunityto create your own environment
every day, so you get to createyour own environment every day,
so you get to create your day.
Yeah, exactly, so that kind ofgoes right along with that.
Awesome Thank you.
So Lexi also asked about thevagus nerve, which is such a
fascinating part of our nervoussystem and plays a huge role in
healing.
(22:19):
Can you explain what it is andwhy it's so important?
Speaker 3 (22:23):
Sure.
So the vagus nerve is thelargest cranial nerve that we
have and all it means is vagusis wandering, and it wanders
throughout our body, startingprimarily in our brainstem area
where we see a lot of oursurvival brain and a lot of the
(22:44):
automatic functions that happen.
There are branches of it thatcome to the face, there's
branches that come down throughthe heart and there's branches
that come down all the way intoyour core, so all the organs
there.
So that is a very large nerveand I should say it's a
collection of nerves.
You can think of it as multiplefibers coming together.
(23:06):
It is how the brain and thebody communicate with each other
.
So it's like the highway systemof how do messages get passed
down.
Now, what's really fascinatingabout this vagus nerve is it's
bidirectional, meaning that itcarries messages from the brain
to the body and from the body tothe brain.
(23:28):
But here's where it gets reallyfascinating is that there are
like you can think of it likefive super highways.
Four of them go from body tobrain, one of them from brain to
body, so it's an 80-20 ratio.
I call it just that 80-20 rule.
And why that's important isbecause many of us rely on our
(23:52):
brain to talk ourselves out ofsomething, to convince ourselves
, to change our thoughts, tofeel better, to think more
positively.
But when we're doing that we'rereally only using 20% of the
potential of the vagus nerve.
We are actually better off towork on relaxing our body, to
(24:15):
work on creating safety in ourbody so that it sends that
message to our brain that we'resafe.
Ideally we want to have two-waycommunication, but I think when
we take approaches which many ofus do in coaching and therapy
and just in life in general whatwe call top-down, where the
brain is in charge and it tellsthe body, we're missing out on
(24:39):
the benefits that the body hasso much wisdom to be sending to
the brain.
And actually sometimes it'seasier like with things like
anxiety, for example sometimesit's easier to start with your
body and allow those messages tocome up to the brain.
So that's the role of the vagusnerve.
The vagus nerve primarily has alarge function in relaxing the
(25:03):
body, what we call activatingthe parasympathetic nervous
system, which is the part ofyour nervous system that is for
that rest and digest andrelaxation.
The vagus nerve has a verystrong role in that
parasympathetic nervous system.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Yeah, okay.
And for someone like Lexi, whatare some simple ways to
strengthen vagal tone and helpbring the nervous system back
into balance?
Speaker 3 (25:28):
Right.
So if we're thinking about,okay, how can I take care of my
vagus nerve?
The vagus nerve it's going tobe body things Like we're not
going to be sitting there sayingto ourselves strengthen the
vagus nerve, strengthen we'regoing to be needing to give our
body cues.
This is where things likebreathing come into play.
If we are doing breathingthat's low and slow remember I
(25:50):
said all the you know the vagusnerve wanders down to that core
area, well, where the diaphragmis.
So if we are focused on low andslow breathing, we are going to
be sending that message to thevagus nerve of calm and safety.
So breathing is one way that wecan work with the vagus nerve.
(26:10):
There's also things likerelaxing your pelvic area,
pelvic relaxation, where weoften hold a lot of tension in
our pelvic region, and so justrelaxing that in.
In general.
There's also things and you'llsee a lot of things on Instagram
kind of like these little hacksthat you can use to the vagus
(26:31):
nerve, and while I'm not opposedto them, they need to be part
of a much bigger picture,because we can't just sort of
hack our way to regulation.
It needs to be built on afoundation.
But you'll see things like.
People will talk about hummingor singing as being really good
for vagal tone.
Well, that's simply because,remember I said, it starts in
(26:52):
the brainstem, it has branches.
It has a branch that goes veryclose to your vocal cords, the
larynx area, and so when we'rehumming, we're activating that.
So there's things that we can do, and then, just in general,
like gentle movements, slowingthings or shaking tension out,
all these things can serve asactivators, but we want them to
(27:14):
be part of a bigger picture.
It's almost like the differenceof you know, in medicine we go
to the doctor when we have anacute problem and you know they
may prescribe us something orgive us like a certain treatment
.
But really we also know thatprevention is the best thing.
(27:35):
If you can catch things aheadof time, if you can build a
healthy lifestyle, you'llprobably prevent the need to
have as many of these acutechallenges.
And that's the same thing.
With our vagus nerve, we can dothese hacks, but we also want
to be doing things that arefoundational, involving sleep
(27:57):
and everyday movement andbreathing not just like breath
work, but working on ourbreathing on a daily basis, and
that will carry over to thehealth of our overall nervous
system.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
I love that, that's so good.
So she also mentionedstruggling with sleep.
You just mentioned that.
So either feeling wired atnight or waking up exhausted how
does nervous systemdysregulation interfere with
deep, restorative sleep?
Speaker 3 (28:25):
Yeah, so sleep and the nervous system, they're very
much connected.
I like to say to people yoursleep is usually indicative of
your nervous system statethroughout the day.
So if your body doesn't feelsafe, it's not going to allow
deep rest.
Remember, it's all aboutsurvival.
So if I take you and I put youinto a dark alley in a strange
(28:50):
city and I say to you you'resleeping here tonight, chances
are you're not going to lie downand then wake up and I had the
best sleep of my life.
You're not going to be able todo that because you don't feel
safe.
So you're always going to besleeping almost like in this
hypervigilant.
What was that?
Where was that?
And that's what happens ifwe're dysregulated throughout
(29:10):
the day.
If we're stuck in that hyperaroused state, your body is
going to be in a high alert modeand flooding you with those
stress hormones, keeping youwired and it's kind of like your
brain is standing guard duringthe night making sure that no
danger is sneaking up on you.
And we appreciate that, exceptwe're like I don't have any
(29:33):
danger.
That's right, that's not anissue.
And then the same thing canhappen is sometimes we do sleep
but we wake up feeling exhausted, and it can be that your system
gets so depleted it justcrashes.
But because you're never reallyreturning to safety, it doesn't
(29:53):
get like that restorative sleepthat it needs.
It kind of just goes into likeI'm so exhausted I'm going to
pass out mode, as opposed togetting where it really feels
safe, that it can connect and itcan restore everything that it
needs to restore.
So we do want to look at sleepas being indicative of what's
(30:15):
going on with our nervous system.
If you're struggling with sleep, sleep starts as soon as you
wake up in the morning.
What are the things that I canbe doing to help take care of my
nervous system all throughoutthe day so that by the time I
get to the evening and that'sthe other thing I often find
with people is they'll be go, go, go, go go and then they'll get
(30:37):
in bed.
I can't fall asleep.
That's kind of like.
You know, jeff, you said you'rea pilot.
I imagine that every pilotknows you don't go.
You know, from whatever yourheight, of how many feet you are
, to zero in two seconds.
Like you start descending, likewhen I'm on commercial flights,
they're always letting you knowwe're starting our descent,
(30:57):
prepare for landing.
We have to do that with oursystems too.
Like, hey, we're starting ourdescent, now Dim the lights,
slow down, put your phones away,go have a bath, have yourself a
nice, you know warm cup ofwhatever with no caffeine.
So you're not staying up Givingthe signals to land, telling
(31:19):
our nervous system, hey, you'resafe to slow down, that's so
good, that's so good, thank you,and I love that analogy too.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
That's just.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
I always like the pilot analogies no matter what
it's about.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
Even though.
I was like I don't know howhigh do you go, but I know you
don't go from like 30,000 tozero.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
You have a gradual descent, unless something's
really wrong.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
Yeah, then you're in trouble.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Then you're in trouble, yeah, yeah yeah, and I
don't think you'll be asleepduring that period, however
short that is.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
And you know those are the situations too.
I will say One of the reasonswhy we're never going to always
be quote unquote regulated allthe time because of exactly what
you said, jeff.
Sometimes we are in trouble andwe need to be activated in
order to be taking action anddoing what we need to do.
A healthy nervous system is notone that is just sort of like
(32:15):
maintaining the perfect ho-humof life.
A healthy nervous system can goup and down, responding
appropriately to whatever it isit confronts and being able to
return back to its baseline.
So the healthy nervous systemit really moves flexibly up and
down.
Up and down.
That's what we want to train itto do, which means we have to
(32:38):
have some stress in our life.
That's why we don't want tolabel all stress as bad.
We just need to know how tomanage the stress and come back
home right.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
You know it's interesting.
I relate so much to what you'retalking about just personally
because from moment to moment,and for instance, my practice
life as a physician, I am seeingpeople that are at different
levels of emotionaldysregulation every 15 minutes
and I have to meet or giveenergy into those systems in
(33:13):
such a way, by the time I'm donewith my day, I'm fit to be tied
and I'm just really tired, andso I find myself in that where I
feel like I have to just shutdown but I go to sleep.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
Reserve yourself.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
Yeah, I sleep well.
I wake up and I'm ready for thenext day, so I'm getting fairly
good restorative sleep.
Yeah, but it still takes itstoll on a daily basis.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
And that's where we have.
Yes, there is sort of the dailythings.
We need to get that sleep.
But what I'll offer to you isregulation has to occur hundreds
of times a day during your day,and this is particularly
challenging for people who arein helping professions, like
(34:03):
yourself a lot of physicians, alot of therapists, first
responders, teachers who are ina role where they have to really
kind of give personally ofthemselves.
I love using the analogy.
It's like you're starting thebeginning of the day taking a
sponge and dumping it in abucket of water.
Well, if you do not, in betweenpatients, in between clients,
(34:26):
every once in a while, take outand wring that sponge out by the
end of the day, if you justkeep dunking, dunking, dunking.
when you pull it out, you'resopping wet, there's nothing
left, and so what the nervoussystem needs is the nervous
system has to have, and justeven these micro moments where
(34:48):
you sort of squeeze the spongeand then go back in, squeeze the
sponge and then go back in, andthen at the end of the day you
still may have a heavy sponge,but because you've been
squeezing it throughout, itstill has some shape.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
So that's the work for most of us.
There's two things I wanted tobring up about this.
First of all, I've taken on a.
Before I enter the next room Iwill take a look at.
I have a little paper on theoutside of the door that says
who's behind the door number oneand so I have a chance to think
about it.
Chances are I've had somepaperwork that I had to review
(35:25):
before that appointment, so Ireview that and then I take a
couple of deep breaths before Iwalk in the door, and that helps
.
And then sometimes, even whenI've got people waiting for me,
I have to just stop.
I go into my office, I take abig drink of water, I maybe grab
a handful of nuts and I justtake a breath for a second and
(35:47):
or go to the bathroom you knowsomething to just take care of
myself.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
And there's been times that you've been in front
of a patient and you've had tojust breathe.
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
There have been a couple of times I've said you
know what, I just have to take aminute and I'll excuse myself.
Okay that, okay, that's pointnumber one.
Now, point number two is thatin many people's training and
certainly is true in mine thatthere are times that you're
going to be faced with verystressful possibly life or death
situations, and you have tokeep your CEO online.
Speaker 3 (36:20):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
And in order to do that, that takes training and
understanding and that sometimes, if you don't do some training
in order to, when you do findyourself in a stressful
situation, you will not respondwell and you may cause a problem
.
And I think that's one of thethings that we don't do for
ourselves in a general way, toprepare for stressful situations
(36:45):
in our lives is to have some ofthis kind of training so that
we don't react poorly when weare faced with stressful
situations.
Speaker 3 (36:53):
That's right.
Well and I think that speaks toyou know, even like as parents,
we want our children to haveexperiences in life, and it's
hard for us to watch them to gothrough hard things, but we know
going through hard things iskind of a training ground for
life, and so sometimes we willeven want to encourage our
(37:14):
children to participate inthings that stretch them, or
even, as adults ourselves, toset goals that are more
challenging for us to do things.
This is why things like coldexposure and activated breath
work have become so popular,because what they do is they
deliberately push your nervoussystem into states of stress and
(37:38):
then you learn how to regulate,the idea being that if you can
expand your capacity to toleratequote unquote hard things, that
carries over into your lifepresents us, as it will, with
hard things.
That is where we do feelcompletely overwhelmed.
(38:09):
We don't have anything to lookback on and to say hey, I've
been training for this, I knowwhat to do with this, yeah, so
good.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
So good.
I appreciate your thoughts,especially your experiences in
the office and just how to movethrough that in a more healthy
way.
But I want to kind of get backto Lexi's question.
I know we're kind of runningout of time here and she's
talking about betrayal traumaand we just kind of touched on
that for just a minute.
(38:38):
But she says because I knowthis is a huge one for so many
people Leah, what happens in thenervous system when someone is
experiencing betrayal?
Speaker 3 (38:50):
Well, if you think about, like I said earlier,
every experience we have willshape our nervous system, and so
when we go through betrayal,you can bet those experiences
are changing what our nervoussystem is experiencing, it is
activating us, it is putting usinto a zone where we really need
protection because we feelthreat.
(39:11):
And so our nervous system canget stuck there and it almost
like starts to rewire.
That this becomes almost ournormal state, and when we are in
this state of hypervigilance,we're constantly then scanning
for danger, even when none wouldbe present.
So that's a challenge.
(39:32):
When we've experienced traumaor betrayal trauma, it has
rewired our system and it hasforever changed our lens until
we work at trying to change itagain right.
So betrayal and the traumaassociated with betrayal it
really shakes our security inrelationships, the safety that
(39:53):
we feel in relationships, whichwill leave your nervous system
sort of lacking trust.
And well, I got to be on guard,I have to show up and be
hypervigilant, I've got to belooking out for danger, and so
we start training it to lookingout for danger all the time,
which is why then people go onto have a hard time trusting
(40:15):
other people in their life ormoving to new relationships
because they've been so trainedto.
There's danger all around meand I've got to protect myself.
And so you'll see it show up inpeople's thoughts that you know
, racing thoughts.
What if this happens again?
Why did this happen?
Why didn't I see this?
Where is this coming from?
And it will show up in theirbody that there's tension or
(40:38):
pain or chronic symptoms comeout.
The sleep.
I can't sleep because you'reconstantly replaying these
things in a loop, because you'restuck in this activated state.
So your nervous system though,like I said, nothing is kind of
permanent Once you recognize.
I've experienced trauma,there's been betrayal trauma.
You may be wired this way rightnow, but the power of
(41:01):
neuroplasticity is I can worktowards unlearning and rewiring
to bring myself down from thishypervigilant to a little bit
less, hypervigilant to a littlebit less, and start introducing
moments of safety where I canstart to trust again.
Speaker 1 (41:20):
Yeah, perfect.
So what are some ways to feelsafer in relationships and
rebuild trust after betrayal?
Speaker 3 (41:26):
Well, it starts with you.
It starts with establishingsafety within you.
Can you find safety in yourenvironment?
Can you start by creating anenvironment that has certain
cues in it, that where you, whenI say safety, you know
sometimes people, they do have aheart.
(41:47):
I don't even know what safetymeans, but how do you feel a
little bit better, how do youfeel okay?
And sometimes that may be usingexternal things.
Well, I love you know a certainscent or a certain candle or
certain music.
We start with that and weintroduce these little drops of
safety and then we can start.
Okay, do I feel safe talkingcertain topics?
(42:11):
So maybe we're going to startwith you know, not the biggie of
our whole relationship, but canwe start with some smaller
topics again?
Do I feel safe in having thesediscussions while I'm moving,
while I'm walking, while I'm outin nature?
So we want to have like littlesignals of safety.
(42:32):
Sometimes it's just slowingthings down, like the nervous
system really appreciates someslowness.
So slowing things down, and theother thing that the nervous
system really appreciates ischoice.
When we feel trapped, we feelactivated.
So even establishing safety, ifyou've experienced betrayal and
(42:54):
you may make the decision.
I want to work things out withmy partner or whoever the
betrayal took place with you mayalso want to remind yourself
you always have choice.
You have your own back, I canstay, I can leave, I can invest,
I can, and just allowing thatopenness of choice can help the
(43:16):
nervous system start to feelsafer.
And then, lastly, I would say Imean there's tons of things to
do, but the last thing I wouldreally want to highlight is
self-compassion, compassion,understanding, loving, asking
yourself what do I need in thismoment?
What does having my own backmean?
(43:38):
What would I say to a bestfriend who is going through that
?
Speaker 2 (43:46):
And can I give myself that same advice?
That's excellent.
Wow, that's strong, that'sreally strong.
Speaker 1 (43:49):
That is so so good, yeah, and I think that it's so
important that when people startfeeling safe again, not in just
their bodies but in theirrelationships, and just to be
using some of these techniques,just be gentle, allow these
steps to be incorporated littleat a time, but I love the
(44:09):
compassion part.
I think that that's spot on,because we're not.
We're not compassionate withourselves hardly ever, and I
think we just need to rememberthat compassion and grace and
being patient.
Speaker 3 (44:22):
Yeah, it's very healing and it's not always.
I think sometimes we've beentaught that we want to have
compassion for others, and Itotally want to have compassion
for others.
But compassion for ourselves iswhere I think we need to start.
We make mistakes, we havechallenges, we get overwhelmed.
Compassion for our own humanityand when we have compassion for
(44:45):
our own humanity, it is easierto have compassion for other
people.
And having compassion for otherpeople is not like carte
blanche of forgiveness and itjust means, hey, you're human, I
get where you're coming from.
I still may want to set healthyboundaries, I still may want to
make different decisions anddifferent choices, but I can do
(45:09):
it from a lens of compassion andlove, because that feels so
much better to me to beexperiencing those emotions.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:17):
So excellent.
Okay, well, I love that and Iknow for so many people just
hearing that their nervoussystem is not broken, that it's
actually just trying to protectthem, is such a relief.
Speaker 3 (45:29):
Yeah, yeah, and you're nervous.
It's brilliant, like you'rebrilliant, like everything it
has been doing has been in orderto protect you, and the only
thing is is just sometimes oursignals get crossed and we learn
things differently and as wegrow and become as what I call
resourced adults, we can turnback and we can say, hey, the
(45:51):
way that I did things when I wasyounger, out of survival, is
not the way that I need to dothem now and we can start making
those shifts.
It's not because I was broken.
It's because I brilliantlyadapted to whatever was going on
in my world.
That was very overwhelming.
I came up with ways to cope andsurvive, and now I don't need
(46:14):
those same ways anymore and so Ican start making some changes.
But not because I'm broken andthere's something wrong with me,
just because I actually want tolead my life with more
intentionality.
I don't want to be relying onthe adaptations and the
responses that I made when I wasa five-year-old kid the
adaptations and the responsesthat I made when I was a
five-year-old kid.
I want to be thinking now muchmore deliberately and
(46:37):
intentionally.
How do I want to show up asgrown-up Leah?
Right here, right now.
Speaker 2 (46:42):
Isn't it great that we can grow and change.
Speaker 3 (46:44):
It's amazing.
Speaker 2 (46:45):
It is the best thing ever, you know.
I look back over my life and Ithink if I hadn't grown and
changed in different ways, Iwould be so much less happy than
I am right now.
Yeah, exactly.
And I still have yet things todo, and so do we all we do, and
it's a journey.
Speaker 3 (47:02):
That's the other thing I like saying to people.
Don't imagine this as a nervoussystem regulation destination.
It's not.
It's the nervous systemresilience.
Journey Ups and downs, back andforth, bounce forward, come
back, and it is an ongoingjourney that is for life.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
Yeah, that's so good.
Are there any habits or dailyroutines that people might not
realize are keeping them stuckin a dysregulated state?
Speaker 3 (47:33):
You know the one that is surprising.
It's one of the mostfundamental things that we do is
our breath.
Our breath is something thatgoes on behind the scenes.
We don't have to thank goodnesswe don't have to control it.
But it is also something thatwe can control If our breath is
completely off, meaning we maybeare breathing through our mouth
(47:55):
or we're breathing very, veryshallow.
Breathing through your mouthand breathing shallow sends a
message to the nervous systemthat you're in danger because,
think about it, I'm in danger Ifwe stop breathing through the
nose low and slow.
If you're being chased by atiger, you're not going to be
(48:15):
breathing through your nose lowand slow.
So it sends the message to yournervous system that you're safe
.
So simply by switching andworking your breath to low and
slow through the nose, you aresending messages of safety to
your brain.
Speaker 1 (48:33):
That's so good, I forgot about that one.
Speaker 3 (48:36):
That's a good one, that's so good I forgot about
that one.
That's a good one.
Speaker 1 (48:39):
That's a very fundamental one.
Speaker 3 (48:47):
The other one I would say is really movement.
Movement is one where, when weare dysregulated and we go into
a hyper aroused state, we haveexcess energy.
That excess energy needs to gosomewhere.
So give it somewhere to gothrough your movement.
And then, likewise, sometimeswe may not have excess energy,
we may lack energy, but you know, how we add energy to our
system is by moving.
And then when we are in a goodzone, we stay in a good zone by
(49:13):
moving.
So moving is something that, nomatter what zone, how
dysregulated, how regulated youare, it's going to be very, very
beneficial for your nervoussystem.
Speaker 1 (49:24):
Super Well, I was thinking of things like
excessive social media use orover, you know, having too much.
Speaker 3 (49:32):
So that's the flip side, right, so you can have the
things like the things I'mtalking about.
This is how we're building up.
Well, then we have to look atwhat are the things that we're
doing in our life that keep usstuck in dysregulation?
Right?
So scrolling on social media isone where watching too much
news these are all things thatkeep us in a state of
(49:54):
hypervigilance.
Anything that keeps you whereit's like you're constantly on
the lookout for danger is notgoing to be helpful for your
nervous system, and so that'swhy, sometimes, when we are in
environments where maybe there'sa lot of pressure on us to hit
certain deadlines, this is whyit's so difficult for healthcare
providers when they're in.
(50:14):
This is why it's so difficultfor healthcare providers when
they're in this environmentwhere it's like go, go, go back
to back, because right there,their nervous system is getting
the message that it's danger,because they can't really slow
down, so they have to use otherthings, like you were saying,
jeff, just like in the momentI've got to be breathing.
But the things that we do on adaily basis, like how are you
(50:35):
using your time during the day?
If you are spending itscrolling and looking at news
and talking and, you know,looking always for the negative,
looking for the danger that'sgoing to be sending your nervous
system signs of danger Ifthere's a lot of pressure and
intensity.
And I have to do this, even thelanguage that we use.
I've got to get this done.
(50:56):
I don't have a choice.
All that language will keep usin this hyper state, which means
that we're in a state ofdysregulation.
Speaker 1 (51:05):
Exactly, and that was that question.
And so, like you just said, onthe flip side, are there any
other small lifestyle changesthat can make a big difference
in the nervous system regulation?
Speaker 3 (51:21):
So you talked about the breathing, the movement,
journaling and doodling.
Those are things that you knowinviting creativity into your
life.
Whatever your creative outletsare, I love doodling and
journaling because it has ameditative quality to it as well
, and journaling because it hasa meditative quality to it as
well.
But this is why having hobbies,listening to music, playing
music, even doing puzzles,knitting, crafting, painting all
(51:45):
these things, anything that wecan.
Flying yeah, exactly, and justplaying, just playing, just
playing.
Just going to the park and justdoing this is why these are such
powerful things.
Sometimes, I think we labelthem as unproductive, but
they're probably some of themost productive things you can
do for your nervous system.
Speaker 1 (52:05):
Yeah, early morning exposure to the sunlight.
Speaker 3 (52:08):
Yeah, to sunlight yeah.
Speaker 1 (52:09):
So good.
Speaker 3 (52:09):
Another really great one yeah.
Speaker 1 (52:11):
Yeah, excellent, those are so good.
So when someone is trying toheal from nervous system
dysregulation, how important iscommunity and connection in that
process?
Speaker 3 (52:21):
Oh my gosh, so important.
And part of it is if you thinkabout how most of us have become
dysregulated, either in themoment or through long-term
chronic stress.
It has been in relationships,and so it makes sense that we
heal also in relationships.
We first learn how to regulateourselves, hopefully through our
(52:43):
caregivers, through somethingcalled co-regulation.
Now, a lot of us didn't havegreat caregiving experiences.
Maybe we grew up in homes whereyou know not necessarily to
blame all our parents, but weall make terrible mistakes as
parents and so forth, and so wemay not have always learned how
(53:03):
to co-regulate with each other,and as we become adults we may
not be the best co-regulators.
Well, the only way you canreally learn how to co-regulate
is to be with others, and it maystart off with, you know, being
with a pet, being with animals,even communing with nature can
be a start.
But our nervous systems arewired for connection.
(53:25):
We need each other, we feed offof each other, and so if you
don't have community, it's veryhard to co-regulate because
there's nobody there toco-regulate with.
Speaker 1 (53:39):
So so true, when you are in a group, you just feel
like you're with friends,like-minded people, and there's
just a lot of power being in agroup that you know you feel
comfortable with.
Speaker 3 (53:52):
There's that common humanity piece, too, that you
realize you're not alone.
Like when people start sharingtheir stories, even if it's not
the exact same story, you startto realize that we all go
through stuff.
We just have a different flavorof the same stuff.
And when I hear you speak aboutit, it makes me feel like I'm
(54:13):
not so alone, that I'm notabnormal.
And when you hear you speakabout it it makes me feel like
I'm not so alone, that I'm notabnormal.
And when you share with me someways that maybe you have found
have helped, oh, I could trythat.
And so then it gives us ways tocreatively come up with how can
my healing look?
It worked for this person,maybe if I combine that with
this.
(54:33):
So there's so much benefit ofbeing in community for that
sharing as well as just learningfrom each other Exactly so
powerful.
Speaker 1 (54:45):
So if someone listening right now is
resonating with everything we'vetalked about, but feels
overwhelmed by where to start,what's one small, manageable
step they could take today tobegin regulating their nervous
system?
Speaker 3 (54:59):
The first step is always with awareness.
So, just the awareness, nowthat you have a nervous system
and I would say, just startbeing aware.
Do you notice how sometimes youhave more energy and sometimes
you have less energy?
Just starting there, because aswe start developing the skills
(55:22):
to notice when our energy risesand our energy goes down, that's
when we can start to invitesome type of change.
So, just having that awarenesspiece like worry about, I gotta
do this now, I gotta do that, Igotta do this.
What we talked about today ispart of the journey.
Right, that's a lot, that's alot.
(55:42):
But the first step is where amI starting my journey from and
building that awareness of what,what's going on in my body?
Do I notice when my energy goesup and down?
And just starting there, it'slike getting your address of
where you're located right now.
Don't worry about like I gottago here and here and here and
then there and then end up overhere.
(56:03):
Let's just start with where areyou at right now?
What does it feel like when youhave more energy?
What does it feel like when youhave less energy?
Speaker 1 (56:15):
Leah, this has been such a powerful conversation,
but before we wrap up, where canwe find you?
Speaker 3 (56:17):
and learn more about your work.
So I am.
My website isleahdavidsonlifecoachingcom and
I'm on Instagram and Facebook atLeah Davidson Life Coaching.
I have a podcast calledBuilding Resilience.
Speaker 1 (56:31):
And we'll put that in the show notes as well.
Perfect.
Speaker 3 (56:33):
And I just created a mental health guided journal and
that is available on Amazon.
It's awesome.
I purchased it.
Awesome.
It is under my brand it'scalled Resilient Brilliance, but
I'm sure you can put that inthe show notes too and really
everything that we talked abouttoday.
It guides you through, through,you know, some teaching and,
(56:55):
through asking some questions,helping you understand where
you're starting from.
So those are, those are some ofthe best ways to, to reach and
find me.
Speaker 2 (57:04):
I just need to get some of those workbooks and hand
them out to people as they comein.
Speaker 1 (57:08):
Yeah, seriously, it is really.
I'll have you take a look at it.
I don't know if you've even seenit, it's on my yeah, my dresser
, but I got it a couple of weeksago and it's so good.
Well, a huge thank you to Lexifor her amazing questions today
and, of course, to Leah forbeing our fantastic guest.
This conversation was soincredible and I know it's going
(57:31):
to help so many people.
But before we go, I want totake a moment to speak directly
to those of you who arestruggling in your relationship.
If you can't remember why yousaid yes, if you feel like your
paths have completely divergedand you're wondering if there's
anything left to fight for, Iwant you to know there is a way
forward.
My eight-month Healing Heartsprogram is designed for couples
(57:55):
who feel like they're at theirend of the rope, where trust is
completely broken, communicationfeels impossible and the pain
runs deep.
But if you're still here, stillsearching for answers, then
that means there's stillsomething worth saving.
This program is aboutrebuilding from the ground up,
restoring safety, learning howto regulate emotions together
(58:16):
and connecting in a way thatfeels real and lasting.
You don't have to do this alone.
I would love to work with youand help you find clarity,
healing and hope.
If this is something thatresonates with you, please reach
out to me attrishajamesoncoaching at
gmailcom to learn more about howwe can work together and to our
listeners.
If this episode spoke to you,if you found something valuable
(58:38):
in this conversation, pleaseshare it with a friend, leave us
a review and send yourquestions for future episodes to
trishajamesoncoaching atgmailcom as well, and we love
hearing from you.
Until next time, take care ofyourself, take care of your
relationships and remember yournervous system is always
listening.
Goodbye, everybody.
Speaker 2 (58:57):
Bye, everyone, Thanks .
Speaker 1 (58:58):
Leah, thank you.
Thanks for tuning in to the Q&AFiles, delighted to share
today's gems of wisdom with you.
Your questions light up ourshow, fueling the engaging
dialogues that make ourcommunity extra special.
Keep sending your questions totrishajamesoncoaching at
gmailcom.
Your curiosity is our compass.
(59:18):
Please hit, subscribe, spreadthe word and let's grow the
circle of insight and communitytogether.
I'm Trisha Jameson, signing off.
Stay curious, keep thriving andkeep smiling, and I'll catch
you on the next episode.
Hello and welcome to the Q&A Files, the ultimate
health and wellness playground.
I'm your host, tricia Jamieson,a board-certified functional
nutritionist and lifestylepractitioner, ready to lead you
through a world of healthdiscoveries.
Here we dive into a tapestry ofdisease prevention to nutrition
, exercise, mental health andbuilding strong relationships,
all spiced with diverseperspectives.
(00:29):
It's not just a podcast, it's acelebration of health, packed
with insights and a twist of fun.
Welcome aboard the Q&A Files,where your questions ignite our
vibrant discussions and lead toa brighter you.
Welcome back, wellness warriors, to another episode of the Q&A
Files.
I'm Tricia Jamieson, your host,a functional nutritionist and
lifestyle practitioner and alife coach.
(00:50):
And, as always, I have with meour awesome Dr Jeff, our
birth-certified family physician.
So glad to have you here withme today, jeff.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Hey, glad to be here.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
So, before we dive in , we like to start with some
celebrations.
We love talking about a momentto acknowledge our wins are big
or small, anything in between,because celebrating is actually
a form of nervous systemregulation.
And I've invited Leah and we'regoing to talk.
I'm going to introduce her injust a minute, but I want her to
join us in a celebration.
(01:21):
So, leah, our listeners don'tknow exactly who you are yet,
but I'm just going to throw youinto the loop here with us.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Right under the bus.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
That's right.
That's right.
I'm all nervous.
Already my nervous system isgetting activated.
I can feel it.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
But I love how much, how intentional you are about
noticing the good, and that'ssomething that I like to do as
well, but I think that you knowyou do such a great job with
that.
So what's something you'recelebrating today?
Speaker 3 (01:50):
I am celebrating the sunshine and I truly I thought
of this before I got on thiscall that spring is my favorite
season Because to me, itrepresents hope.
You know, when I went for mywalk this morning, the sun was
coming up.
I started to see little buds onthe tree and it's a reminder.
You know, I live in, I live inCanada and in Toronto, and we
(02:11):
have a lot of gray, gray, graywinter days.
The sun is out, the buds aregoing.
It's a reminder of newbeginnings.
Every day is a fresh start.
Every day is a new start and itjust makes me feel, I mean, the
sun has so many benefits, butjust the idea that here we go,
we're starting into spring.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Yay, we woke up to snow yesterday, but the sun is
shining today and the snow hasmelted, so that's good.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
That's right.
Well, we had a ton of snow.
It's all melting.
That's the other thing Icommented on, actually, to my
husband the other day.
I was like how is it possiblethat we had several feet of snow
and it all gets absorbed intothe earth and here we are.
It's clear again.
It's just such a marvelousthing.
Nature is incredible.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Yeah, seriously so good.
Oh, I love that.
Thank you, just makes me smile.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
It sure is.
Well, I'm just going to go next, if that's okay.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Yes, you go.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Okay.
So it's funny because mycelebration also is about
sunshine, but it's for adifferent reason.
When I am seeing blue sky, Ithink of flying.
I'm a private pilot and I havehopefully an opportunity to get
in an airplane today and maybedo a little flying around and
that might be something.
(03:28):
And that's where I see sort ofthe God's eye view of the world
and things and it just gets meto a happy place.
And so that's my celebrationtoday is being in the happy
place.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Oh, fantastic, I love both of those answers.
Well, I'm going to pile on witha celebration, and this
includes both of you.
So I'm so excited because weare just six months away from
our Italy trip, and Leah isbasically the one in charge of
all this.
We've got a group going andwe're going to be with amazing
(04:03):
women and we're going to be inthe most beautiful places in the
world and we're going to talkmore about that.
And a special bonus is Dr Jeffand I will be going ahead of
time.
We'll be going early and we'regoing to be doing a cruise all
the way around Italy.
And we've always wanted to go toEurope, so our trip made it
even more possible for Jeff andI to go now.
(04:25):
So we are so excited.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Well, I can't wait to hear more about your cruise.
But, yes, europe.
If you have not been to Europe,oh my gosh.
And Italy is probably one of mymost favorite countries in
Europe.
I can.
I've been multiple times.
I can return to it over andover and over.
You are going to love it.
I, I can guarantee that.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
I can't wait for the food.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Oh, exactly, yeah, yeah, there's nothing like food
in Italy.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
There will be no dieting while we are on this
cruise.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
And it's funny because I just did a recent
episode on all the junkpreservatives in American food.
So we are really excited to gotaste some real food.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Everything's fresh, everything's in the markets.
Yeah, it's amazing.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Okay, so exciting.
So we've got some fun thingsthat we're going to be looking
forward to coming up here in thenext few months.
But I seriously cannot wait forthis conversation today because
, speaking of resilience andlet's be honest, international
travel takes a lot of nervoussystem regulation right.
So I think conversation isgoing to be such a gift to our
(05:34):
listeners.
Now let me tell you why I'm soexcited for today's guest.
Leah Davidson is not just anexpert in her field, she's also
a great friend of mine.
We first connected throughclass by Jodi Moore we both took
, and since then I've had theprivilege of learning from Leah
through multiple trainings onher nervous system resilience
programs.
I'm currently in herconnections group and I
(05:57):
absolutely love it and I'velearned so much.
We're going to talk more aboutthe connections group, but Leah
is a nervous system resiliencecoach and speech language
pathologist with over 26 yearsof experience, particularly in
the area of traumatic braininjury.
She's the host of the BuildingResilience podcast and offers an
advanced nervous systemresilience training as well as a
(06:19):
monthly membership calledConnections, where she helps
people learn to befriend theirpersonal nervous system.
She's also the founder ofResilient Brilliance, a
stationary brand focused onemotional well-being and nervous
system care.
Leah is deeply passionate abouthelping people regulate their
nervous system, reduce stress,build resilience and uncover
(06:39):
their purpose.
She lives in Toronto with herhusband and their blended family
of five grown kids, and whenshe's not coaching, she loves
traveling, and boy has shetraveled all over the place, and
we just need to have a podcastjust for some of these amazing
places that she's gone to, Causeshe talks about them, she loves
to journal walk and she evendoodles her nervous system as
(07:01):
well.
So, leah, welcome to the Q&AFiles.
We are so thrilled to have youhere.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
I'm so excited to hear from you.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
I'm so excited to be here.
Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Regulate that nervous system a little bit right now.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
So we can get those breathing techniques.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
But you know, a little bit of activation is
perfectly appropriate whenyou're getting into the mode of
talking and sharing.
And that's not all.
Energy activation is bad aslong as we're grounded in safety
and I'm all good because I'mwith friends and I love it,
(07:36):
Right, Okay?
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Well, we are excited because we've got an incredible
listener question today fromLexi, and I think so many people
are going to relate to whatshe's experiencing.
So she writes I keep hearingabout nervous system regulation,
but I don't fully understandwhat it means.
Is it just about managingstress, or does it affect more
(07:57):
than that?
How do I know if my nervoussystem is dysregulated?
I feel like I'm constantlyoverwhelmed.
Sometimes I shut downcompletely and other times I'm
anxious, irritable or reactive.
It feels like I'm either on oroff, with no in between.
Lately I've also been strugglingwith sleep.
I either can't sleep or fallasleep at all because my mind
(08:19):
won't shut off, or I crash fromexhaustion but still wake up
feeling unrested.
I've also heard the vagus nerveplays a role in this, but I
don't really understand how.
What exactly is the vagus nerveand how does it affect my
emotions, energy levels andsleep?
Also, I've had some betrayaltrauma in my past and I've
(08:41):
noticed that sleep my sleepstruggles got worse after that
experience.
Does betrayal trauma haveanything to do with why I'm not
sleeping well?
I want to feel more in control,but I don't know where to start
.
Can you help so?
Speaker 2 (08:55):
let's Holy smokes.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
First of all I don't know where to start Such a
loaded question, such a loadedquestion, and I want to thank
you-.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
It's not just one question.
That's about 10.
That's about 10.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
That's about 10.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
It's a whole class in nervous system right there.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
That's why it's so fantastic, and we're going to
see what we can get through wecan get through it.
Yeah, but first of all, I justwant to thank Lexi for her
honesty and for sending in sucha powerful question because, wow
, just like we talked about,there's so many layers here and
I know that this is somethingthat you work with all the time.
So, leah, let's break this downand start with the basics.
(09:30):
When people hear the termnervous system regulation, they
often assume it's just aboutstress relief.
But you always say the nervoussystem flavors everything we do.
That's right.
The nervous system flavorseverything we do.
Lexi's describing something somany people experience feeling
either overwhelmed and anxiousor completely shut down.
(09:51):
Can you explain why the nervoussystem operates this way and
what's really happening insidethe body?
Speaker 3 (09:58):
Right.
Well, I wanna start Triciafirst by just giving a bird's
eye view of what the nervoussystem is, because I think part
of the challenge is we all tookour grade 10 biology class and
we all sort of learned thebasics, but we didn't really
learn how the nervous system isimportant for us as humans and
(10:18):
how to use our nervous system.
So the nervous system isessentially the way the mind and
the body communicate with eachother and it is functioning
behind the scenes.
Like you said, it flavorseverything.
So if we think about itsfunctioning, it is taking care
of all the systems that need tobe automatically run in your
(10:38):
body.
So your breathing, yourdigestion, your heart rate.
The nervous system isregulating that and it is also
in charge of your survival, andthat's kind of a big task for it
.
And what it does is it istrying to make an assessment on
a very unconscious level whetheryou're safe or whether you're
in danger.
(10:58):
So do I need to activate thealarms, so to speak, that we're
in danger or am I consideredsafe?
So you can think of yournervous system as almost like an
alarm system in your house, asecurity system, a smoke
detector.
So it's always scanning, alwayson an unconscious level and as
you know, tricia, you've donelots of training with me we look
(11:21):
at it on three levels.
It's checking out what's goingon in my environment.
It's checking on what's goingon inside me and what's going on
between us.
So the three of us are sittinghere and our nervous systems are
looking environment.
I'm in my own environment.
I got the screen in front of me.
I'm sitting on a chair, Isunshine is outside, what's
going on inside me?
Well, my heart's pumping alittle bit.
(11:42):
You know this is this needssome energy.
I'm a little bit.
There's a judgment side sayingare you going to make a mistake?
What are people going to think?
So my stomach's a bit fluttery.
So I'm feeling those things andreading what's going on between
you.
You're nodding at me now.
Your face is very familiar, butI don't know, jeff.
So my nervous system is likecan I trust him?
Do I like him?
What's going on with him?
(12:03):
Based system is like can Itrust him?
Do I like him?
What's going on with him?
Based on these unconsciousthings, my nervous system will
send a signal of safety ordanger.
Now, if it senses safety, we'reall good and we just move ahead
and we feel all those thoughtsand emotions where we're feeling
like, yeah, I've got this goingon, I'm confident, I feel good,
I'm resilient, I'm patient.
But if there's a flavor ofdanger, my nervous system is
(12:27):
going to pick up on that andit's going to be watch out.
Leah, we need to get a bitactivated to protect you because
there could be some dangerthere.
So the protection that we firstwill go into is more of an
activated state, and this iswhat people talk about with
fight and flight, and it can beflavored like with some anxiety,
(12:50):
with some worry, with someoverthinking, but it could also
be flavored with like some angerand irritation and frustration.
So you notice energy rising inyour body.
That energy will come out inthe kind of thoughts you have,
the feelings, the actions,everything that you do.
It can also either it getstired of running, running,
(13:11):
running or it feels sooverwhelmed it can drop down
into a state of protection againthat is shut down and this is
where, numb, disconnected, maybe, there's some hopeless,
helpless feeling.
The nervous system has thesestates of protection for our
survival.
Now, a couple of key thingsabout why it's important to know
(13:33):
that we have these states is,first of all, when we are in
these states of protection, in ahyper aroused state or a hypo
aroused state our thinkingskills are mainly offline, and
that's because, if we think weare in danger, all energy has to
(13:54):
go towards taking care of myexistence.
I don't have time to be curiousand compassionate and be
thinking, you know, like problemsolving and managing my time.
No, it's like we're about todie.
We got to save ourselves, andso the nervous system, the
access to what I call our CEO,our thinking skills, is mainly
cut off.
The other thing for us to knowis as brilliant as our nervous
(14:18):
system is.
It's not super sensitive withreal and perceived threats and
it's not great with timemanagement.
Everything is on the same timeplane.
There's no timestamp, sosomething could have happened to
me 25 years ago and the nervoussystem doesn't know that it's
not now.
It feels like everything ishappening now and it picks up on
(14:42):
threats that often aren'tthreats.
So instead of if you think ofthis, like we have an alarm
system in the house, I want myalarm to go off when burglars
are in the house.
I don't want my alarm to go offevery time the wind blows and
my curtain moves, but ournervous system is constantly
(15:04):
scanning and if that curtainmoves, it's like you're in
danger.
You're in danger.
So we need to be able toregulate ourselves, meaning get
ourselves into a more relaxedzone so our CEO can come back on
board and she can walk aroundsaying board, and she can walk
(15:28):
around saying there's no burglarhere, it's just the curtains.
And when that happens now wecan get that.
Well, what are we going to doabout the curtains?
Is this a big deal?
Is this not a big deal?
So that's the overall job ofthe nervous system.
So, when we think of it, doesit manage stress?
Yes, but the main job is reallyteaching your body how to feel
(15:49):
safe and what is safe versuswhat is danger.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
I think that's a very interesting piece where people
that have PTSD let's just saythey went to Vietnam and had
some traumatic things happenthere and they hear a
thunderclap.
All of a sudden they're on thefloor with their head underneath
their hands, hoping for thebest, and yeah.
(16:14):
So I find that interestingabout the timeline and that you
don't know the timeline.
The brain doesn't understandthe timeline.
It doesn't understand.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
It hears that and right away, and that's
essentially PTSD.
Right, we get stimulated bydifferent environmental cues, or
cues within us, or cues betweenus that mimic something that
has happened in the past.
And right away, the nervoussystem, because there's no time
stamp, it's right back inVietnam.
When there is you know thenoise, it's right back there and
(16:45):
it thinks you're in that samedanger, even though we're like
no, this is, you know, 2025.
We're walking along you knowour neighborhood road.
It's a chopper that's above itdoesn't know that.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Right, and you hear those stories all the time.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
And, similarly, that you know when people have had
trauma with a spouse or traumawith or anything that can
trigger a memory that wasdetrimental to the system or
somehow made your body or yourmind feel you were unsafe.
You don't even have to beunsafe, it just remembers it and
(17:21):
sends the red flags up in theair and waves them really loudly
.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
Exactly, I had that, you know, when you were talking
about in relationships.
So I've been married previouslyand I remember I've been
married to my current husbandnow for 17 years and I remember
at the beginning we had bothexperienced betrayal trauma and
at the beginning we actuallyturned it into a little bit of a
joke because things wouldtrigger us.
We actually turned it into alittle bit of a joke because
things would trigger us and ourcue was to say to each other
(17:51):
wrong marriage.
Meaning that what we were beingtriggered about was nothing
that was happening between usright now.
It was something from ourprevious marriage that was
getting triggered.
And we made it a little bitlighthearted because I think the
nervous system it helps relaxwhen there's a bit of humor,
helps diffuse events whensomething would happen and one
(18:11):
of us would just be like wrongmarriage, oh, that's right.
It was a reminder to thenervous system.
We're not back there, we'rehere with this person in this
moment and this is what's goingon.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Well, so I really appreciate that.
So it's not just about feelingcalm or stressed, it's the lens
through which we experienceeverything in life.
That's right, yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
Exactly, exactly.
And that's powerful tounderstand, because we sometimes
will be on ourselves like whycan't I change that thought, why
can't I just get over something?
Or we'll even say to ourpartners or our children or our
parents, you know, like, oh,just get over it, just move on.
Just what's wrong?
Why can't you let it go, whycan't you change that thought,
(18:56):
when a lot of it has to do withthe nervous system?
And unless you address it atthe root of the nervous system,
you're going to keep returningto those same stories over and
over and over again.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Exactly, and so, just like you're mentioning, it's
our early life experiences orpast trauma that affects the way
someone's nervous systemresponds to it.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
Yeah, amongst other things.
I mean we do like our nervoussystem starts developing when
we're in utero, so that speaksto there's intergenerational
things that get passed on aswell.
We don't remember so many ofour experiences, but our body
does, our nervous system does,and throughout our life, which
(19:38):
is really crummy sometimes,really really crummy sometimes
yeah.
But the good news is is becauseof neuroplasticity, meaning that
the brain and the nervoussystem have the ability to
rewire and to change, that wecan change new experiences.
All the experiences that I amhaving right now and I will have
(19:58):
in the future will continue toshape my nervous system as well,
so that's very hopeful.
Continue to shape my nervoussystem as well, so that's very
hopeful.
Most of us have trauma in ourlife, some people will have more
than others and they often willfeel like I'm broken, I'm not
fixable, there's no hope for meand the beautiful, hopeful news
(20:20):
is absolutely not.
There's always hope, but weneed to have tools, we need to
have compassion, we need to havenew experiences so that we can
help shape our nervous systeminto that healthy, flexible
system that we need to haveresilience in our life.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
And that's why it's so important to get this kind of
information out, so people knowthat there is hope.
That's right.
So often they do feel broken.
They don't feel like there'sany direction that they can go
and there's anything that theycan do differently.
They're just stuck.
Yeah, I appreciate that verymuch.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
And I think it's important for people to find
safe spaces.
Yes, and sometimes you know youcan't even get to that without
being in a safe space for aperiod of time to be able to
allow your nervous system toderegulate or or return to some
sort of normalcy yeah, and andfinding that it's a tough.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
We're going to talk about that and we're going to
talk about safety in a minuteand I just want to say that it's
it's even more than findingsafe spaces.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
It's creating safe spaces oh, oh, I love that.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
Because I think sometimes, if we, you know,
language matters, if we talkabout, I need to find a safe
space.
That implies that it's external.
Now there are external thingsthat can help me create safety.
There are lots of external cuesand I can plant them, and there
may be places I can go where Ifeel safer than other places.
But the most important thing iscan we create safety?
(21:49):
Can we create safety within ourown body?
Can we create safety within ourown life, so that we can then
have healthy relationships?
Speaker 1 (21:58):
And I love that because I always tell my clients
that you have the opportunityto create your own environment
every day, so you get to createyour own environment every day,
so you get to create your day.
Yeah, exactly, so that kind ofgoes right along with that.
Awesome Thank you.
So Lexi also asked about thevagus nerve, which is such a
fascinating part of our nervoussystem and plays a huge role in
healing.
(22:19):
Can you explain what it is andwhy it's so important?
Speaker 3 (22:23):
Sure.
So the vagus nerve is thelargest cranial nerve that we
have and all it means is vagusis wandering, and it wanders
throughout our body, startingprimarily in our brainstem area
where we see a lot of oursurvival brain and a lot of the
(22:44):
automatic functions that happen.
There are branches of it thatcome to the face, there's
branches that come down throughthe heart and there's branches
that come down all the way intoyour core, so all the organs
there.
So that is a very large nerveand I should say it's a
collection of nerves.
You can think of it as multiplefibers coming together.
(23:06):
It is how the brain and thebody communicate with each other
.
So it's like the highway systemof how do messages get passed
down.
Now, what's really fascinatingabout this vagus nerve is it's
bidirectional, meaning that itcarries messages from the brain
to the body and from the body tothe brain.
(23:28):
But here's where it gets reallyfascinating is that there are
like you can think of it likefive super highways.
Four of them go from body tobrain, one of them from brain to
body, so it's an 80-20 ratio.
I call it just that 80-20 rule.
And why that's important isbecause many of us rely on our
(23:52):
brain to talk ourselves out ofsomething, to convince ourselves
, to change our thoughts, tofeel better, to think more
positively.
But when we're doing that we'rereally only using 20% of the
potential of the vagus nerve.
We are actually better off towork on relaxing our body, to
(24:15):
work on creating safety in ourbody so that it sends that
message to our brain that we'resafe.
Ideally we want to have two-waycommunication, but I think when
we take approaches which many ofus do in coaching and therapy
and just in life in general whatwe call top-down, where the
brain is in charge and it tellsthe body, we're missing out on
(24:39):
the benefits that the body hasso much wisdom to be sending to
the brain.
And actually sometimes it'seasier like with things like
anxiety, for example sometimesit's easier to start with your
body and allow those messages tocome up to the brain.
So that's the role of the vagusnerve.
The vagus nerve primarily has alarge function in relaxing the
(25:03):
body, what we call activatingthe parasympathetic nervous
system, which is the part ofyour nervous system that is for
that rest and digest andrelaxation.
The vagus nerve has a verystrong role in that
parasympathetic nervous system.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Yeah, okay.
And for someone like Lexi, whatare some simple ways to
strengthen vagal tone and helpbring the nervous system back
into balance?
Speaker 3 (25:28):
Right.
So if we're thinking about,okay, how can I take care of my
vagus nerve?
The vagus nerve it's going tobe body things Like we're not
going to be sitting there sayingto ourselves strengthen the
vagus nerve, strengthen we'regoing to be needing to give our
body cues.
This is where things likebreathing come into play.
If we are doing breathingthat's low and slow remember I
(25:50):
said all the you know the vagusnerve wanders down to that core
area, well, where the diaphragmis.
So if we are focused on low andslow breathing, we are going to
be sending that message to thevagus nerve of calm and safety.
So breathing is one way that wecan work with the vagus nerve.
(26:10):
There's also things likerelaxing your pelvic area,
pelvic relaxation, where weoften hold a lot of tension in
our pelvic region, and so justrelaxing that in.
In general.
There's also things and you'llsee a lot of things on Instagram
kind of like these little hacksthat you can use to the vagus
(26:31):
nerve, and while I'm not opposedto them, they need to be part
of a much bigger picture,because we can't just sort of
hack our way to regulation.
It needs to be built on afoundation.
But you'll see things like.
People will talk about hummingor singing as being really good
for vagal tone.
Well, that's simply because,remember I said, it starts in
(26:52):
the brainstem, it has branches.
It has a branch that goes veryclose to your vocal cords, the
larynx area, and so when we'rehumming, we're activating that.
So there's things that we can do, and then, just in general,
like gentle movements, slowingthings or shaking tension out,
all these things can serve asactivators, but we want them to
(27:14):
be part of a bigger picture.
It's almost like the differenceof you know, in medicine we go
to the doctor when we have anacute problem and you know they
may prescribe us something orgive us like a certain treatment
.
But really we also know thatprevention is the best thing.
(27:35):
If you can catch things aheadof time, if you can build a
healthy lifestyle, you'llprobably prevent the need to
have as many of these acutechallenges.
And that's the same thing.
With our vagus nerve, we can dothese hacks, but we also want
to be doing things that arefoundational, involving sleep
(27:57):
and everyday movement andbreathing not just like breath
work, but working on ourbreathing on a daily basis, and
that will carry over to thehealth of our overall nervous
system.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
I love that, that's so good.
So she also mentionedstruggling with sleep.
You just mentioned that.
So either feeling wired atnight or waking up exhausted how
does nervous systemdysregulation interfere with
deep, restorative sleep?
Speaker 3 (28:25):
Yeah, so sleep and the nervous system, they're very
much connected.
I like to say to people yoursleep is usually indicative of
your nervous system statethroughout the day.
So if your body doesn't feelsafe, it's not going to allow
deep rest.
Remember, it's all aboutsurvival.
So if I take you and I put youinto a dark alley in a strange
(28:50):
city and I say to you you'resleeping here tonight, chances
are you're not going to lie downand then wake up and I had the
best sleep of my life.
You're not going to be able todo that because you don't feel
safe.
So you're always going to besleeping almost like in this
hypervigilant.
What was that?
Where was that?
And that's what happens ifwe're dysregulated throughout
(29:10):
the day.
If we're stuck in that hyperaroused state, your body is
going to be in a high alert modeand flooding you with those
stress hormones, keeping youwired and it's kind of like your
brain is standing guard duringthe night making sure that no
danger is sneaking up on you.
And we appreciate that, exceptwe're like I don't have any
(29:33):
danger.
That's right, that's not anissue.
And then the same thing canhappen is sometimes we do sleep
but we wake up feeling exhausted, and it can be that your system
gets so depleted it justcrashes.
But because you're never reallyreturning to safety, it doesn't
(29:53):
get like that restorative sleepthat it needs.
It kind of just goes into likeI'm so exhausted I'm going to
pass out mode, as opposed togetting where it really feels
safe, that it can connect and itcan restore everything that it
needs to restore.
So we do want to look at sleepas being indicative of what's
(30:15):
going on with our nervous system.
If you're struggling with sleep, sleep starts as soon as you
wake up in the morning.
What are the things that I canbe doing to help take care of my
nervous system all throughoutthe day so that by the time I
get to the evening and that'sthe other thing I often find
with people is they'll be go, go, go, go go and then they'll get
(30:37):
in bed.
I can't fall asleep.
That's kind of like.
You know, jeff, you said you'rea pilot.
I imagine that every pilotknows you don't go.
You know, from whatever yourheight, of how many feet you are
, to zero in two seconds.
Like you start descending, likewhen I'm on commercial flights,
they're always letting you knowwe're starting our descent,
(30:57):
prepare for landing.
We have to do that with oursystems too.
Like, hey, we're starting ourdescent, now Dim the lights,
slow down, put your phones away,go have a bath, have yourself a
nice, you know warm cup ofwhatever with no caffeine.
So you're not staying up Givingthe signals to land, telling
(31:19):
our nervous system, hey, you'resafe to slow down, that's so
good, that's so good, thank you,and I love that analogy too.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
That's just.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
I always like the pilot analogies no matter what
it's about.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
Even though.
I was like I don't know howhigh do you go, but I know you
don't go from like 30,000 tozero.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
You have a gradual descent, unless something's
really wrong.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
Yeah, then you're in trouble.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Then you're in trouble, yeah, yeah yeah, and I
don't think you'll be asleepduring that period, however
short that is.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
And you know those are the situations too.
I will say One of the reasonswhy we're never going to always
be quote unquote regulated allthe time because of exactly what
you said, jeff.
Sometimes we are in trouble andwe need to be activated in
order to be taking action anddoing what we need to do.
A healthy nervous system is notone that is just sort of like
(32:15):
maintaining the perfect ho-humof life.
A healthy nervous system can goup and down, responding
appropriately to whatever it isit confronts and being able to
return back to its baseline.
So the healthy nervous systemit really moves flexibly up and
down.
Up and down.
That's what we want to train itto do, which means we have to
(32:38):
have some stress in our life.
That's why we don't want tolabel all stress as bad.
We just need to know how tomanage the stress and come back
home right.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
You know it's interesting.
I relate so much to what you'retalking about just personally
because from moment to moment,and for instance, my practice
life as a physician, I am seeingpeople that are at different
levels of emotionaldysregulation every 15 minutes
and I have to meet or giveenergy into those systems in
(33:13):
such a way, by the time I'm donewith my day, I'm fit to be tied
and I'm just really tired, andso I find myself in that where I
feel like I have to just shutdown but I go to sleep.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
Reserve yourself.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
Yeah, I sleep well.
I wake up and I'm ready for thenext day, so I'm getting fairly
good restorative sleep.
Yeah, but it still takes itstoll on a daily basis.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
And that's where we have.
Yes, there is sort of the dailythings.
We need to get that sleep.
But what I'll offer to you isregulation has to occur hundreds
of times a day during your day,and this is particularly
challenging for people who arein helping professions, like
(34:03):
yourself a lot of physicians, alot of therapists, first
responders, teachers who are ina role where they have to really
kind of give personally ofthemselves.
I love using the analogy.
It's like you're starting thebeginning of the day taking a
sponge and dumping it in abucket of water.
Well, if you do not, in betweenpatients, in between clients,
(34:26):
every once in a while, take outand wring that sponge out by the
end of the day, if you justkeep dunking, dunking, dunking.
when you pull it out, you'resopping wet, there's nothing
left, and so what the nervoussystem needs is the nervous
system has to have, and justeven these micro moments where
(34:48):
you sort of squeeze the spongeand then go back in, squeeze the
sponge and then go back in, andthen at the end of the day you
still may have a heavy sponge,but because you've been
squeezing it throughout, itstill has some shape.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
So that's the work for most of us.
There's two things I wanted tobring up about this.
First of all, I've taken on a.
Before I enter the next room Iwill take a look at.
I have a little paper on theoutside of the door that says
who's behind the door number oneand so I have a chance to think
about it.
Chances are I've had somepaperwork that I had to review
(35:25):
before that appointment, so Ireview that and then I take a
couple of deep breaths before Iwalk in the door, and that helps
.
And then sometimes, even whenI've got people waiting for me,
I have to just stop.
I go into my office, I take abig drink of water, I maybe grab
a handful of nuts and I justtake a breath for a second and
(35:47):
or go to the bathroom you knowsomething to just take care of
myself.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
And there's been times that you've been in front
of a patient and you've had tojust breathe.
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
There have been a couple of times I've said you
know what, I just have to take aminute and I'll excuse myself.
Okay that, okay, that's pointnumber one.
Now, point number two is thatin many people's training and
certainly is true in mine thatthere are times that you're
going to be faced with verystressful possibly life or death
situations, and you have tokeep your CEO online.
Speaker 3 (36:20):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
And in order to do that, that takes training and
understanding and that sometimes, if you don't do some training
in order to, when you do findyourself in a stressful
situation, you will not respondwell and you may cause a problem
.
And I think that's one of thethings that we don't do for
ourselves in a general way, toprepare for stressful situations
(36:45):
in our lives is to have some ofthis kind of training so that
we don't react poorly when weare faced with stressful
situations.
Speaker 3 (36:53):
That's right.
Well and I think that speaks toyou know, even like as parents,
we want our children to haveexperiences in life, and it's
hard for us to watch them to gothrough hard things, but we know
going through hard things iskind of a training ground for
life, and so sometimes we willeven want to encourage our
(37:14):
children to participate inthings that stretch them, or
even, as adults ourselves, toset goals that are more
challenging for us to do things.
This is why things like coldexposure and activated breath
work have become so popular,because what they do is they
deliberately push your nervoussystem into states of stress and
(37:38):
then you learn how to regulate,the idea being that if you can
expand your capacity to toleratequote unquote hard things, that
carries over into your lifepresents us, as it will, with
hard things.
That is where we do feelcompletely overwhelmed.
(38:09):
We don't have anything to lookback on and to say hey, I've
been training for this, I knowwhat to do with this, yeah, so
good.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
So good.
I appreciate your thoughts,especially your experiences in
the office and just how to movethrough that in a more healthy
way.
But I want to kind of get backto Lexi's question.
I know we're kind of runningout of time here and she's
talking about betrayal traumaand we just kind of touched on
that for just a minute.
(38:38):
But she says because I knowthis is a huge one for so many
people Leah, what happens in thenervous system when someone is
experiencing betrayal?
Speaker 3 (38:50):
Well, if you think about, like I said earlier,
every experience we have willshape our nervous system, and so
when we go through betrayal,you can bet those experiences
are changing what our nervoussystem is experiencing, it is
activating us, it is putting usinto a zone where we really need
protection because we feelthreat.
(39:11):
And so our nervous system canget stuck there and it almost
like starts to rewire.
That this becomes almost ournormal state, and when we are in
this state of hypervigilance,we're constantly then scanning
for danger, even when none wouldbe present.
So that's a challenge.
(39:32):
When we've experienced traumaor betrayal trauma, it has
rewired our system and it hasforever changed our lens until
we work at trying to change itagain right.
So betrayal and the traumaassociated with betrayal it
really shakes our security inrelationships, the safety that
(39:53):
we feel in relationships, whichwill leave your nervous system
sort of lacking trust.
And well, I got to be on guard,I have to show up and be
hypervigilant, I've got to belooking out for danger, and so
we start training it to lookingout for danger all the time,
which is why then people go onto have a hard time trusting
(40:15):
other people in their life ormoving to new relationships
because they've been so trainedto.
There's danger all around meand I've got to protect myself.
And so you'll see it show up inpeople's thoughts that you know
, racing thoughts.
What if this happens again?
Why did this happen?
Why didn't I see this?
Where is this coming from?
And it will show up in theirbody that there's tension or
(40:38):
pain or chronic symptoms comeout.
The sleep.
I can't sleep because you'reconstantly replaying these
things in a loop, because you'restuck in this activated state.
So your nervous system though,like I said, nothing is kind of
permanent Once you recognize.
I've experienced trauma,there's been betrayal trauma.
You may be wired this way rightnow, but the power of
(41:01):
neuroplasticity is I can worktowards unlearning and rewiring
to bring myself down from thishypervigilant to a little bit
less, hypervigilant to a littlebit less, and start introducing
moments of safety where I canstart to trust again.
Speaker 1 (41:20):
Yeah, perfect.
So what are some ways to feelsafer in relationships and
rebuild trust after betrayal?
Speaker 3 (41:26):
Well, it starts with you.
It starts with establishingsafety within you.
Can you find safety in yourenvironment?
Can you start by creating anenvironment that has certain
cues in it, that where you, whenI say safety, you know
sometimes people, they do have aheart.
(41:47):
I don't even know what safetymeans, but how do you feel a
little bit better, how do youfeel okay?
And sometimes that may be usingexternal things.
Well, I love you know a certainscent or a certain candle or
certain music.
We start with that and weintroduce these little drops of
safety and then we can start.
Okay, do I feel safe talkingcertain topics?
(42:11):
So maybe we're going to startwith you know, not the biggie of
our whole relationship, but canwe start with some smaller
topics again?
Do I feel safe in having thesediscussions while I'm moving,
while I'm walking, while I'm outin nature?
So we want to have like littlesignals of safety.
(42:32):
Sometimes it's just slowingthings down, like the nervous
system really appreciates someslowness.
So slowing things down, and theother thing that the nervous
system really appreciates ischoice.
When we feel trapped, we feelactivated.
So even establishing safety, ifyou've experienced betrayal and
(42:54):
you may make the decision.
I want to work things out withmy partner or whoever the
betrayal took place with you mayalso want to remind yourself
you always have choice.
You have your own back, I canstay, I can leave, I can invest,
I can, and just allowing thatopenness of choice can help the
(43:16):
nervous system start to feelsafer.
And then, lastly, I would say Imean there's tons of things to
do, but the last thing I wouldreally want to highlight is
self-compassion, compassion,understanding, loving, asking
yourself what do I need in thismoment?
What does having my own backmean?
(43:38):
What would I say to a bestfriend who is going through that
?
Speaker 2 (43:46):
And can I give myself that same advice?
That's excellent.
Wow, that's strong, that'sreally strong.
Speaker 1 (43:49):
That is so so good, yeah, and I think that it's so
important that when people startfeeling safe again, not in just
their bodies but in theirrelationships, and just to be
using some of these techniques,just be gentle, allow these
steps to be incorporated littleat a time, but I love the
(44:09):
compassion part.
I think that that's spot on,because we're not.
We're not compassionate withourselves hardly ever, and I
think we just need to rememberthat compassion and grace and
being patient.
Speaker 3 (44:22):
Yeah, it's very healing and it's not always.
I think sometimes we've beentaught that we want to have
compassion for others, and Itotally want to have compassion
for others.
But compassion for ourselves iswhere I think we need to start.
We make mistakes, we havechallenges, we get overwhelmed.
Compassion for our own humanityand when we have compassion for
(44:45):
our own humanity, it is easierto have compassion for other
people.
And having compassion for otherpeople is not like carte
blanche of forgiveness and itjust means, hey, you're human, I
get where you're coming from.
I still may want to set healthyboundaries, I still may want to
make different decisions anddifferent choices, but I can do
(45:09):
it from a lens of compassion andlove, because that feels so
much better to me to beexperiencing those emotions.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:17):
So excellent.
Okay, well, I love that and Iknow for so many people just
hearing that their nervoussystem is not broken, that it's
actually just trying to protectthem, is such a relief.
Speaker 3 (45:29):
Yeah, yeah, and you're nervous.
It's brilliant, like you'rebrilliant, like everything it
has been doing has been in orderto protect you, and the only
thing is is just sometimes oursignals get crossed and we learn
things differently and as wegrow and become as what I call
resourced adults, we can turnback and we can say, hey, the
(45:51):
way that I did things when I wasyounger, out of survival, is
not the way that I need to dothem now and we can start making
those shifts.
It's not because I was broken.
It's because I brilliantlyadapted to whatever was going on
in my world.
That was very overwhelming.
I came up with ways to cope andsurvive, and now I don't need
(46:14):
those same ways anymore and so Ican start making some changes.
But not because I'm broken andthere's something wrong with me,
just because I actually want tolead my life with more
intentionality.
I don't want to be relying onthe adaptations and the
responses that I made when I wasa five-year-old kid the
adaptations and the responsesthat I made when I was a
five-year-old kid.
I want to be thinking now muchmore deliberately and
(46:37):
intentionally.
How do I want to show up asgrown-up Leah?
Right here, right now.
Speaker 2 (46:42):
Isn't it great that we can grow and change.
Speaker 3 (46:44):
It's amazing.
Speaker 2 (46:45):
It is the best thing ever, you know.
I look back over my life and Ithink if I hadn't grown and
changed in different ways, Iwould be so much less happy than
I am right now.
Yeah, exactly.
And I still have yet things todo, and so do we all we do, and
it's a journey.
Speaker 3 (47:02):
That's the other thing I like saying to people.
Don't imagine this as a nervoussystem regulation destination.
It's not.
It's the nervous systemresilience.
Journey Ups and downs, back andforth, bounce forward, come
back, and it is an ongoingjourney that is for life.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
Yeah, that's so good.
Are there any habits or dailyroutines that people might not
realize are keeping them stuckin a dysregulated state?
Speaker 3 (47:33):
You know the one that is surprising.
It's one of the mostfundamental things that we do is
our breath.
Our breath is something thatgoes on behind the scenes.
We don't have to thank goodnesswe don't have to control it.
But it is also something thatwe can control If our breath is
completely off, meaning we maybeare breathing through our mouth
(47:55):
or we're breathing very, veryshallow.
Breathing through your mouthand breathing shallow sends a
message to the nervous systemthat you're in danger because,
think about it, I'm in danger Ifwe stop breathing through the
nose low and slow.
If you're being chased by atiger, you're not going to be
(48:15):
breathing through your nose lowand slow.
So it sends the message to yournervous system that you're safe
.
So simply by switching andworking your breath to low and
slow through the nose, you aresending messages of safety to
your brain.
Speaker 1 (48:33):
That's so good, I forgot about that one.
Speaker 3 (48:36):
That's a good one, that's so good I forgot about
that one.
That's a good one.
Speaker 1 (48:39):
That's a very fundamental one.
Speaker 3 (48:47):
The other one I would say is really movement.
Movement is one where, when weare dysregulated and we go into
a hyper aroused state, we haveexcess energy.
That excess energy needs to gosomewhere.
So give it somewhere to gothrough your movement.
And then, likewise, sometimeswe may not have excess energy,
we may lack energy, but you know, how we add energy to our
system is by moving.
And then when we are in a goodzone, we stay in a good zone by
(49:13):
moving.
So moving is something that, nomatter what zone, how
dysregulated, how regulated youare, it's going to be very, very
beneficial for your nervoussystem.
Speaker 1 (49:24):
Super Well, I was thinking of things like
excessive social media use orover, you know, having too much.
Speaker 3 (49:32):
So that's the flip side, right, so you can have the
things like the things I'mtalking about.
This is how we're building up.
Well, then we have to look atwhat are the things that we're
doing in our life that keep usstuck in dysregulation?
Right?
So scrolling on social media isone where watching too much
news these are all things thatkeep us in a state of
(49:54):
hypervigilance.
Anything that keeps you whereit's like you're constantly on
the lookout for danger is notgoing to be helpful for your
nervous system, and so that'swhy, sometimes, when we are in
environments where maybe there'sa lot of pressure on us to hit
certain deadlines, this is whyit's so difficult for healthcare
providers when they're in.
(50:14):
This is why it's so difficultfor healthcare providers when
they're in this environmentwhere it's like go, go, go back
to back, because right there,their nervous system is getting
the message that it's danger,because they can't really slow
down, so they have to use otherthings, like you were saying,
jeff, just like in the momentI've got to be breathing.
But the things that we do on adaily basis, like how are you
(50:35):
using your time during the day?
If you are spending itscrolling and looking at news
and talking and, you know,looking always for the negative,
looking for the danger that'sgoing to be sending your nervous
system signs of danger Ifthere's a lot of pressure and
intensity.
And I have to do this, even thelanguage that we use.
I've got to get this done.
(50:56):
I don't have a choice.
All that language will keep usin this hyper state, which means
that we're in a state ofdysregulation.
Speaker 1 (51:05):
Exactly, and that was that question.
And so, like you just said, onthe flip side, are there any
other small lifestyle changesthat can make a big difference
in the nervous system regulation?
Speaker 3 (51:21):
So you talked about the breathing, the movement,
journaling and doodling.
Those are things that you knowinviting creativity into your
life.
Whatever your creative outletsare, I love doodling and
journaling because it has ameditative quality to it as well
, and journaling because it hasa meditative quality to it as
well.
But this is why having hobbies,listening to music, playing
music, even doing puzzles,knitting, crafting, painting all
(51:45):
these things, anything that wecan.
Flying yeah, exactly, and justplaying, just playing, just
playing.
Just going to the park and justdoing this is why these are such
powerful things.
Sometimes, I think we labelthem as unproductive, but
they're probably some of themost productive things you can
do for your nervous system.
Speaker 1 (52:05):
Yeah, early morning exposure to the sunlight.
Speaker 3 (52:08):
Yeah, to sunlight yeah.
Speaker 1 (52:09):
So good.
Speaker 3 (52:09):
Another really great one yeah.
Speaker 1 (52:11):
Yeah, excellent, those are so good.
So when someone is trying toheal from nervous system
dysregulation, how important iscommunity and connection in that
process?
Speaker 3 (52:21):
Oh my gosh, so important.
And part of it is if you thinkabout how most of us have become
dysregulated, either in themoment or through long-term
chronic stress.
It has been in relationships,and so it makes sense that we
heal also in relationships.
We first learn how to regulateourselves, hopefully through our
(52:43):
caregivers, through somethingcalled co-regulation.
Now, a lot of us didn't havegreat caregiving experiences.
Maybe we grew up in homes whereyou know not necessarily to
blame all our parents, but weall make terrible mistakes as
parents and so forth, and so wemay not have always learned how
(53:03):
to co-regulate with each other,and as we become adults we may
not be the best co-regulators.
Well, the only way you canreally learn how to co-regulate
is to be with others, and it maystart off with, you know, being
with a pet, being with animals,even communing with nature can
be a start.
But our nervous systems arewired for connection.
(53:25):
We need each other, we feed offof each other, and so if you
don't have community, it's veryhard to co-regulate because
there's nobody there toco-regulate with.
Speaker 1 (53:39):
So so true, when you are in a group, you just feel
like you're with friends,like-minded people, and there's
just a lot of power being in agroup that you know you feel
comfortable with.
Speaker 3 (53:52):
There's that common humanity piece, too, that you
realize you're not alone.
Like when people start sharingtheir stories, even if it's not
the exact same story, you startto realize that we all go
through stuff.
We just have a different flavorof the same stuff.
And when I hear you speak aboutit, it makes me feel like I'm
(54:13):
not so alone, that I'm notabnormal.
And when you hear you speakabout it it makes me feel like
I'm not so alone, that I'm notabnormal.
And when you share with me someways that maybe you have found
have helped, oh, I could trythat.
And so then it gives us ways tocreatively come up with how can
my healing look?
It worked for this person,maybe if I combine that with
this.
(54:33):
So there's so much benefit ofbeing in community for that
sharing as well as just learningfrom each other Exactly so
powerful.
Speaker 1 (54:45):
So if someone listening right now is
resonating with everything we'vetalked about, but feels
overwhelmed by where to start,what's one small, manageable
step they could take today tobegin regulating their nervous
system?
Speaker 3 (54:59):
The first step is always with awareness.
So, just the awareness, nowthat you have a nervous system
and I would say, just startbeing aware.
Do you notice how sometimes youhave more energy and sometimes
you have less energy?
Just starting there, because aswe start developing the skills
(55:22):
to notice when our energy risesand our energy goes down, that's
when we can start to invitesome type of change.
So, just having that awarenesspiece like worry about, I gotta
do this now, I gotta do that, Igotta do this.
What we talked about today ispart of the journey.
Right, that's a lot, that's alot.
(55:42):
But the first step is where amI starting my journey from and
building that awareness of what,what's going on in my body?
Do I notice when my energy goesup and down?
And just starting there, it'slike getting your address of
where you're located right now.
Don't worry about like I gottago here and here and here and
then there and then end up overhere.
(56:03):
Let's just start with where areyou at right now?
What does it feel like when youhave more energy?
What does it feel like when youhave less energy?
Speaker 1 (56:15):
Leah, this has been such a powerful conversation,
but before we wrap up, where canwe find you?
Speaker 3 (56:17):
and learn more about your work.
So I am.
My website isleahdavidsonlifecoachingcom and
I'm on Instagram and Facebook atLeah Davidson Life Coaching.
I have a podcast calledBuilding Resilience.
Speaker 1 (56:31):
And we'll put that in the show notes as well.
Perfect.
Speaker 3 (56:33):
And I just created a mental health guided journal and
that is available on Amazon.
It's awesome.
I purchased it.
Awesome.
It is under my brand it'scalled Resilient Brilliance, but
I'm sure you can put that inthe show notes too and really
everything that we talked abouttoday.
It guides you through, through,you know, some teaching and,
(56:55):
through asking some questions,helping you understand where
you're starting from.
So those are, those are some ofthe best ways to, to reach and
find me.
Speaker 2 (57:04):
I just need to get some of those workbooks and hand
them out to people as they comein.
Speaker 1 (57:08):
Yeah, seriously, it is really.
I'll have you take a look at it.
I don't know if you've even seenit, it's on my yeah, my dresser
, but I got it a couple of weeksago and it's so good.
Well, a huge thank you to Lexifor her amazing questions today
and, of course, to Leah forbeing our fantastic guest.
This conversation was soincredible and I know it's going
(57:31):
to help so many people.
But before we go, I want totake a moment to speak directly
to those of you who arestruggling in your relationship.
If you can't remember why yousaid yes, if you feel like your
paths have completely divergedand you're wondering if there's
anything left to fight for, Iwant you to know there is a way
forward.
My eight-month Healing Heartsprogram is designed for couples
(57:55):
who feel like they're at theirend of the rope, where trust is
completely broken, communicationfeels impossible and the pain
runs deep.
But if you're still here, stillsearching for answers, then
that means there's stillsomething worth saving.
This program is aboutrebuilding from the ground up,
restoring safety, learning howto regulate emotions together
(58:16):
and connecting in a way thatfeels real and lasting.
You don't have to do this alone.
I would love to work with youand help you find clarity,
healing and hope.
If this is something thatresonates with you, please reach
out to me attrishajamesoncoaching at
gmailcom to learn more about howwe can work together and to our
listeners.
If this episode spoke to you,if you found something valuable
(58:38):
in this conversation, pleaseshare it with a friend, leave us
a review and send yourquestions for future episodes to
trishajamesoncoaching atgmailcom as well, and we love
hearing from you.
Until next time, take care ofyourself, take care of your
relationships and remember yournervous system is always
listening.
Goodbye, everybody.
Speaker 2 (58:57):
Bye, everyone, Thanks .
Speaker 1 (58:58):
Leah, thank you.
Thanks for tuning in to the Q&AFiles, delighted to share
today's gems of wisdom with you.
Your questions light up ourshow, fueling the engaging
dialogues that make ourcommunity extra special.
Keep sending your questions totrishajamesoncoaching at
gmailcom.
Your curiosity is our compass.
(59:18):
Please hit, subscribe, spreadthe word and let's grow the
circle of insight and communitytogether.
I'm Trisha Jameson, signing off.
Stay curious, keep thriving andkeep smiling, and I'll catch
you on the next episode.
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