Leading Your Home: One Dad's Journey Through Triumph and Challenge - Jeremy B. Hill

Send us a text

What does it take to build an unshakable family culture in today's fragmented world? Jeremy B Hill, founder of JB Capital and father of three, has mastered what he playfully calls the "Hill Mafia" - a family dynamic where loyalty to each other trumps all else.

Jeremy shares his journey from unconventional beginnings to creating a tight-knit family unit. Raised primarily by his grandparents after his parents divorced when he was two, Jeremy absorbed the old-school values of his grandfather - a suit-wearing, Tony Bennett-listening gentleman who taught him the importance of manners, integrity, and showing up properly for those you love.

The conversation takes a fascinating turn as Jeremy reveals his innovative "Questions Game" - a no-holds-barred, completely honest exchange of questions that transformed his relationships with his children from merely parent-child to deeply knowing each other as individuals. "My daughter got to know me as more than just her dad. She got to know me as Jeremy," he explains, highlighting how this vulnerability created unprecedented bonds.

Jeremy makes a powerful distinction between the easy part of fatherhood (loving your kids) and the challenging part (leading them). He believes most fathers need to "up their dad game" by setting standards and helping children navigate decisions rather than just being their buddies. His practical advice includes prioritizing your spouse relationship, being mindful of your habits since "your kids are paying attention more than you realize," and giving yourself grace while maintaining high expectations.

Whether you're struggling with work-life balance, wondering how to instill values in your children, or simply looking to strengthen your family bonds, Jeremy's refreshingly direct insights will inspire you to examine your own leadership at home. Listen now to discover how old-school values can create remarkably resilient modern families.

Since founding JB Capital in 2003, the company has established itself as a leading provider of capital placement and advisory services in the US and Canadian lower middle markets. Under Mr. Hill’s leadership, JB Capital has raised and advised on approximately $1 billion in capital for growth companies across the industry spectrum. With an acuity for creating innovative solutions to complex situations, his track record of success has allowed him to call on an extensive network of partners that includes leading commercial banks, alternative investment managers, and global advisory firms. Mr. Hill is a guest contributor to CNBC, Bloomberg and provides ongoing financial advice and board leadership to several well-known growth companies.

Support the show

Please don't forget to leave us a review wherever you consume your podcasts! Please help us get more dads to listen weekly and become the ultimate leader of their homes!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 2 (00:03):
Hi, I'm Riley and I'm Ryder and this is my dad show.
Hey everybody, it's CaseyJaycox with the quarterback dad
cast.
Welcome to season six, and Icould not be more excited to
have you join me for anotheryear of fantastic episodes and
conversations really unscriptedand raw and authentic

(00:25):
conversations with dads.
If you're new to this podcast,really it's simple.
It's a podcast where weinterview dads, we learn about
how they were raised, we learnabout the life lessons that were
important to them, we learnabout the values that are
important to them and really welearn about how we can work hard
to become a better quarterbackor leader of our home.
So let's sit back, relax andlisten to today's episode on the
Quarterback Dadcast.

(00:45):
Well, hey, everybody, it isCasey Jaycox with the
Quarterback Dadcast.
We're in season six and ourguests continue to build.
And this next gentleman ourpaths cross in the wide world of
LinkedIn and I'm excited tolearn more about him.
He is the one, only that JeremyB Hill is his name.
He's the founder of JV Capital,an independent investment bank.

(01:07):
I spent a ton of years infinance and investment banking
world.
He's been married for a longtime.
We'll ask about that in asecond.
He's done a lot of great thingsin his corporate career.
I think if I have a home onetrophy behind him, we're going
to ask about that.
But, more importantly, that'snot why we're having him on.
We're having Jeremy B Hill onJB because we're going to learn

(01:30):
about JB the dad and how he'sworking hard to become that
ultimate quarterback or leaderof his household.
So, without further ado, mrHill, welcome to the Quarterback
Dadcast.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
Mr Jaycox, thanks for having me.
How are you?

Speaker 2 (01:38):
I'm doing good.
I'm doing good.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
So we always start out each episode with gratitude.
So tell me, what are you mostgrateful for as a dad today?
Dude, I got three awesome kids.
I really do, and I knoweverybody says that.
Right, you know everybody'slike oh, I got wonderful kids.
The reality is, some of yourkids are ugly, some of your kids
.
Right, you know, let's come on.
You know, some of you guys outthere just kind of making shit
up because you think you need tosay something.
Nice, I'm not that.
I really do have three amazingkids and I'm probably most

(02:05):
grateful for my three amazingkids have an amazing mom.
That's something that I'mpretty thankful for.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
Cool what I'm grateful for today.
I actually I've done a couple ofpodcasts today, but I'm going
to give a similar answer becauseI'm grateful for time and I'm
super, super, super present withthe word time, Um, because
every minute we either can dosomething with it or just, you
know, do nothing with it andwe're not guaranteed tomorrow.

(02:33):
And so I'm like really gratefulthat my I wired my mindset to
like, like for, I think, my jokebefore we started recording.
I've taken my dog for threewalks well, two walks today, my
wife took him for one, and soit's like what if I get like,
even if it's a 30 minute break,I can go 11 minutes out, 11
minutes back and still back forthe next call and the dog's
living her best life.
And I'm just grateful for thestate of where I'm at, after

(02:57):
spending nearly 25 years incorporate, to like be able to be
an entrepreneur doing somethingI never thought I'd be doing,
but it is a full-on calling andI get free therapy from guys
like you every time I interviewa dad, and so we have a blank
sheet of paper and I'm gratefulthat we're going to have
probably a page or two pages ofnotes here in about an hour, so
I'm grateful to spend some timewith you.

Speaker 1 (03:17):
Love it, looking forward to it.

Speaker 2 (03:19):
Okay, so bring us well, bring us inside the Hill
Huddle first, but talk about howyou and your wife met and talk
a little bit about each childand what they're up to.

Speaker 1 (03:28):
Sure.
So my wife and I met.
So we have our 29th weddinganniversary coming up here in a
couple of months.
So we've been together a littlebit better than 30 years almost
31 years we met.
I grew up in Texas, went to highschool in Seattle, went back to
Texas for university and thencame back to Seattle.
I went somewhere between myjunior and senior year of

(03:49):
university to see my folks andsee my friends and do all the
stuff that you do as a stupidcollege kid in the summer.
Right, ended up taking a job ata restaurant over the summer,
just 10 bar and wait tables andspend time and make some pocket
money.
And there was just this hotlittle thing running around,
this thing, right, you know.
And I was the new guy and youknow, trying to get her
attention, and she ignored meand just didn't give two.

(04:09):
She didn't care two thingsabout it.
So I asked her out probably adozen times and she would either
not respond or laugh, which I'mnot sure.
I'd rather.
Have somebody laugh or notrespond, I'm not sure which
one's better.
But eventually she had aterrible lapse in judgment on
her part and agreed to go outwith me, and that was like 31

(04:30):
years ago, so it's pretty cool.

Speaker 2 (04:33):
Wow and tell us about the family.

Speaker 1 (04:37):
Family.
We got three kids.
So I have boy, girl, boy 24, 21, and 20.
And again, awesome kids.
I mean I got great kids, I gota super hot wife, I got a cool
dog, I've got first-classproblems.
My oldest son, joshua, is 24,just graduated business school
down here in Arizona a littleless than a year ago, is working

(04:59):
in real estate, private equityand doing well and fighting the
fight and trying to find hisfeet and see all the things that
he grew up with, that andwatching and doing and going and
that kind of thing and seeingif he can kind of chart his own
course, and so the conversationsthat he and I have on a daily
and weekly basis about some RAthat he's irritated with or an
investor asking stupid questionsor how do he all these kinds of

(05:22):
things, that just, uh, uh, itbrings a smile to my wife and
I's eyes, that of watching himkind of figure out that recipe
and turn the dials of theRubik's cube and figure that
shit out.
So, uh, my daughter uh is uhgetting ready to turn 21 and she
is just, uh, just a breath ofsunshine.
You know, just one of the weused to joke when she was little

(05:48):
.
We used to call her Disneyright, cause she's always happy,
right, like I was, like my wifeand I swore that one day she
was going to come down thestairs and there'd be little
bunnies and chickens andsquirrels and shit.
Follow her downstairs like aDisney movie.
Right, she's just always happyand she always sees.
She always sees the best inpeople and things and otherwise
and it's just a wonderful spirit.
So she's in her sophomore yearof business school down here at
Cary, at the business school atASU, and doing well and you know

(06:10):
, trying to figure out, you knowwhat she wants to be when she
grows up and takes over theworld.
My youngest son, tristan.
He's six foot five, tall, goodlooking, really smart, good at
every sport, personable, and ifI went to high school with him I
would hate him.
I just God this kid, right, butjust a wonderful soul and a

(06:32):
great kid.
So he's 17.
He's a junior at the highschool here in Paradise Valley
in Arizona and has got the worldby the tail and figuring stuff
out as a 17-year-old.
It's pretty cool.

Speaker 2 (06:43):
Is he still playing sports?

Speaker 1 (06:45):
Yes, he's a uh, he's an extraordinarily good soccer
player, as is, uh, as was my, myolder son.
My younger son right now is on alittle bit of a hiatus.
He, um, he broke his neck abouteight weeks ago and so was in
the middle of a game and took acouple of goofy knocks and
landed funny and then came outand then came back in and then

(07:05):
took another couple of knocksand landed funny and was buzzing
and not feeling good and allthis kind of thing.
And then the following day uhwas screwing around with some
friends and had a like anotherblow that may have been the you
know the straw that broke thecamel's back and so, uh, that
next night we spent 18 hours in,uh, phoenix children's ICU and
a bunch of ambulance rides andx-rays and MRIs and all that

(07:27):
kind of thing, and so he's got afractured C5 and C6 vertebrae,
both of which are displaced, andso we've been in and out of
Children's more than I care tobe the last eight weeks.
So he's not playing soccerright now.
We go back to Children's nextweek, more x-rays and MRIs and
all the stuff it is that you dogoing through just daddom, and

(07:55):
hopefully, if we get clearedhere, in the next kind of two or
three or four weeks and canavoid surgery.

Speaker 2 (07:58):
he'll be back on the pitch in the next three months
or something.
Wow, that must have been scaryfor mom and dad to deal with.

Speaker 1 (08:01):
Totally.
I mean the things I think as,as fathers, it is that you worry
about most is it's never reallyyourself.
The things that keep you up atnight are are, you know, uh,
typically fears.
It is that you have forsomething either happening to
your wife or your kids or yourbusiness or otherwise, all these
things that are out of yourcontrol that you really can't do
anything about.
But you get these little gentlereminders or previews or

(08:23):
pictures through life thatremind you of the fragility of
things, that life can changereally quick.

Speaker 2 (08:32):
And as much as this is a inconvenience, really,
right?

Speaker 1 (08:38):
He's still walking and talking and walking around.
You realize it is that thingscould have been much worse very
easily.
And so these are those times tosit pause, sit down, reflect,
have some perspective and reallybe thankful.

Speaker 2 (08:54):
Wow, I broke my foot in four spots.
Nothing like a neck at all, butI broke.
That was a pretty significantinjury that really shaped um,
shaped me in life and peoplethat know me in those story.
I've shared it with a lot oftimes before, but it really it's
top of my mind, cause I was.
I was a guest on someone else'spodcast earlier today and we

(09:15):
were talking about like thingsthat shaped uh, um and I.
I told a story and I just Ialways can't imagine like what
my mom and dad like, because Iwas the kid that like, worked
his ass off, squeezed everyounce of athletic ability, and
then end up playing at schoolcalled central washington.
I played quarterback there backin the 90s and um was getting
recruited by some bigger schools, but then this injury really

(09:35):
impacted where I was going to goand so I ended up central
thankfully gave me a shot, butjust watch as a parent watching
your kid like, like I grinded,um grinded, and then just to be
able to see it like taken away.
But then you don't realize atthe time like what it was, like
one of the best things that everhappened to me.
It was a blessing and taught meabout vulnerability, humility,
goal setting, visualization,grit, resilience, like all

(09:57):
things that anybody in lifeneeds to have.
I just learned it at 17 versus.
You know, I've learned alongthe way, but well, I'll be.
I'll be thinking positivethoughts and hopefully Tristan
was back on the pitch per se andplaying football, or whatever
you guys call it Fingers crossed.

Speaker 1 (10:16):
Hopefully we'll get some good news soon.

Speaker 2 (10:18):
That'd be awesome.
Well, I always like going backin time with my guests to learn
about what was life like growingup for you.
So talk about what was likethat life brought for you and
maybe some of the values thatyou learned as a kid that really
shaped you now as a dad.

Speaker 1 (10:32):
Sure, great question.
You know, I think everybody'schildhood is different, right,
and you can allow it to eitherWell, let's say that better.
Well, let's say that better.
Everybody's childhood isdifferent and it shapes you and
kind of forms, either behaviorsor patterns, or decision-making,
or how it is that you look atthe world, either from a
positive or a negative landscape.

(10:53):
Right, people use it and say Igrew up like this and I had such
an amazing childhood I want togive that to my kids.
Or they grow up and say, hey, Ihad whatever type of childhood
and I want to do the exactopposite of that.
Right, mine was maybe somewherein between.
Right, like we certainly, youknow, weren't a Norman Rockwell
painting or a Hallmark, you knowHallmark movie or anything,

(11:15):
maybe like one of thoseafterschool special kind of
things with a little Hallmarkthing thrown in, kind of a thing
.
Right?
So my parents got married young.
They divorced when I was two.
I met my dad when I was 12.
He died when I was 20.
We moved all over the place asa kid.
So mom was a single.
Mom had graduated university,got in the insurance business,

(11:37):
worked for Aetna, and so I wentto first grade at this school
and second grade at this schooland we went to third and fourth
grade over here and went tofifth and sixth grade over here
and like that was kind ofgrowing up.
And so when we ultimately movedto Seattle, so my mom got
remarried as I was going into myfreshman year of high school,
which was just weird we moved toSeattle and being in high

(11:58):
school in Seattle was thelongest I had candidly ever been
anywhere, and so you're the newkid on the block again, which
you know some people would havehated that.
I don't think I really likedthat necessarily growing up.
When I look at it now it iscertainly a strength.
You know you're jealous at thetime when it is that you're the
new kid on the block becauseeverybody knows everybody and
they all have their own you knowsecret handshake or stories to

(12:18):
tell or whatever it is, andyou're like I don't know
anything and so but the strengthand I don't know anything is
that you can adapt better andit's better at making friends
and you can look at and readsituations and meet new people
and get acquainted and do thingscandidly, light years ahead of
anybody else.
And so what I looked at orthought of as a um, something

(12:41):
that I didn't necessarily likeas a kid, has probably proven to
be one of the the kind of thefoundational characteristics and
a big strength for me.
Now let me see Cool stuff.
It is, I guess, growing up, youknow, outside of the moving,
you know I met lots of people,met lots of friends and you know
all those kinds of things whichwas neat.
But one of the kind offoundational things that was

(13:03):
really good is my grandparentshad a big hand in raising me and
ultimately my mom decided to goback to university and go back
to law school and wanted tobecome an attorney and studied
here and studied overseas, andso for that three or four year
period of time to where she wasgetting her JD and getting her
feet wet and starting topractice, I lived with my

(13:24):
grandparents full time.
And so it was a differentaspect because my grandparents
had done okay, they weren'tworking anymore, they didn't
have anything to do but hang outwith me and I got a different
kind of purview of life thansome of my friends, like when I
was a kid, like I grew uplistening to, you know, dean
Martin and Tony, you know, andTony Bennett and Paul Anka and

(13:45):
you know Sammy Davis Jr and theRat Pack and this kind of thing
and watching old shows, and thatstuff was cool and my
grandfather wore a suit and tieseven days a week.
And so you know I was, you knowlike what was the Fresh Prince
of Bel-Air?
Well, it was Carlton.
I wasn't Carlton like a nerd, Iwas a cool Carlton, right.
You know I'd wear a suit andstuff like that.
I liked that kind of thing.
But when I started dating mywife, the first time it is that

(14:06):
we went out, I go and I pick herup and introduce myself to her
parents and take her around andopen the door for her and get in
the car and we start to driveoff and go and music's playing.
She kind of looks over at meand she's like, well, what are
we listening to?
And I was like this is TonyBennett.
She's like, oh okay, how oldare you Right?

Speaker 2 (14:28):
Like she's like what?

Speaker 1 (14:29):
is going on here, right, and so it's just some
interesting stories from growingup and getting a different
perspective from kind of anolder, cooler generation.
It is that, I think, made a bigimpact on how it is that I look
at the world and see things.

Speaker 2 (14:42):
Who doesn't love little Tony Bennett at the
holidays?

Speaker 1 (14:45):
We have and I'll see if I can find them and send them
to you.
I've taken my wife to TonyBennett three or four times
before he died and the firstcouple of times it is that we
were there.
We were in Seattle and we wereI think the first time it is
that we saw him was at Paramountin Seattle, which is just kind
of that cool us like this, youknow, like smiling, oh it's Tony
Bennett, and everybody behindus is like a Metamucil,

(15:07):
commercial right, like I mean,we're the youngest people there,
like 30 or 40 years, you know,and so we'd seen him two or
three times and I wanted to seehim one more time before he died
and my wife is like you'regoing alone, like I have.
I have definitely given my,like you know, wife supportive
DLFC and Tony Bennett.
So how?

Speaker 2 (15:28):
um, so we have a few things in common.
My parents got divorced when Iwas in college, so you look a
little older than you.
Um, my dad passed away too.
My dad passed away December29th 2021.
Um, like just a really toughjourney of.
He's the dad that, like, afterthe divorce, didn't quite bounce
back on his feet.
He battled with, let's see,dementia, alzheimer's, kidney

(15:50):
issues, heart issues, alcoholism.
Um smoked for tons and itseemed like tons of years.
Um didn't exercise.
Um, so I've learned the thingsthat I want to do that he didn't
do.
And sure, my dad's funny, godlove me.
He was a dad that didn't missanything, like he was at all.
Me and my mom didn't misseither too.
But, like I remember, likesuccinctly, like my dad hit

(16:11):
every shit hole town.
I played football in collegeand no offense to some of those
towns I played in but um, uh, itwas.
It was, you know, challenging,but I have a lot of gratitude
now.
Once I kind of like you know,cause we had borderline
something called caregiverburnout.
I didn't know that was a thing.
I researched it and, uh, mywife and I really were kind of

(16:33):
solo taking care of him fornorth of 25 years, we were 23.
Wow, he passed away.
Yeah, so we went through kindof like what people in their
fifties and sixties go through.
But we went through it in mytwenties, twenties, thirties and
early forties.
But just like I'm not like Iwas, I'm a very spiritual guy
and I always say, like you know,god only puts on my plate that

(16:53):
I can handle.
And I just kept leaning in onthat mindset and that thought,
and my wife was a fricking beasthelped me.
But I guess, with that said,out of curiosity, how did your
dad pass?

Speaker 1 (17:04):
Dad of AIDS.
Oh yeah, so he, my dad, was oneof those people.
That is that it's kind of lifeof the party.
Like everybody loved my dad,right, wonderful guy.
But if there was a you know,four decisions and three were
good and one was shitty he'dfigure out a way to pick the
wrong one right.
And so there's a lot of issues.

(17:26):
It is just marital issues.
It is that caused their divorceand you know, my dad really
liked women lots of them, rightand so you know, in the early
80s and things like that, youknow you had the AIDS epidemic
going on and it wasn't justpurely restricted, it is to the
gay community.
You know, like you know themovie show today, it was all
over the place.

(17:46):
And so he ended up getting sickand dying in less than two
years.
Wow, it was 95 when he passedand yeah, it was just wild
because he was, I'm probably,6'3" 220.
My dad was probably 6'1" 205.
And when he died I think he was85 pounds, like it was just, I

(18:08):
mean, skin and bones literally,while just kind of watching that
, watching that kind oftransition, it's just just
interesting.

Speaker 2 (18:20):
Is mom still with us?
It is.

Speaker 1 (18:21):
She's.
Yeah, mom actually just leftArizona today.
She came out and came out tosee us for four or five days and
was hanging out and chilling bythe pool in the casita and
having all that kind of stuff,and so we had a good time and
just put her on an airplane thismorning.
So mom is great.
Mom and I had an interestingrelationship, like you know,
when I was growing up.

(18:42):
It was just kind of she and Iright, and then it was, you know
, me and my grandparents, andthen back to she and I was some
new guy.
It is that she married who.
I don't not that I dislike him,I just don't really have
anything for him.
I don't you know good or bad,it just is Right and so long as
it is that he's good to her, Iguess that's fine.

(19:08):
They have two kids.
Their family dynamic is muchdifferent than my growing up
family dynamic and my currentfamily and how it is that my
wife and I choose to raise andgrow and operate our family,
which you know mine might bedifferent than yours and whoever
else is listening to.
So it's not to cast judgmentand say one's right or wrong,
it's just different.
But there was a long period oftime to where mom and I were not
close, I think, uh, or she andmy wife were definitely not

(19:29):
close, or just what.
I mean they go years withouteven speaking and you know, I
think over time it is you justkind of, you know mature, you
realize it is that little thingsare like little things are
little things and big things arebig things, and most things
that you think are big, big areactually little and it's not
worth wasting time on,especially as you get older and
kids mature and life happens andthat kind of thing.
And so the last couple of yearshas been great with her.

(19:53):
And now you know, like my wifelast night was just like I don't
want her to go home and I'mlike I'm going to get struck by
lightning, like where is thiscoming?

Speaker 2 (20:00):
from you know.

Speaker 1 (20:01):
And it's just.
It's honestly dude, it's justbeen awesome man, it really has.

Speaker 2 (20:05):
Was there almost like a forgiveness or reconciliation
journey to that.

Speaker 1 (20:08):
Nope, like it was just and I'd love to have a
better story to tell, cause it'dbe cool if I could articulate
it differently, but really Ithink it is that it was almost
just that, that it just kind offaded away Any resentment or
anger towards or you know, Idon't know, just kind of faded.

(20:33):
And as it faded from my wifetowards my mom and as my mom, I
think, kind of got older,retired, softened, lightened up
some, that became easier.
And since that became easier,it became easier on me.
And now the three of us youknow set up and you know kill a

(20:53):
bottle of wine or two and youknow talk, story and talk shit
to each other and just laugh andlaugh and laugh.
And it was just, it was.
It was a great holiday, it wasa great visit, man.

Speaker 2 (21:01):
Wow, that's cool.
It was pretty cool.
Now, how about grandma andgrandpa?
Are they still with us?

Speaker 1 (21:05):
They're not.
They passed.
My grandfather passed away twoor three days after my daughter
was born, which is interesting.
So my grandfather and I weresuper close, like crazy close,
and so you're saying somethingabout that golf ball.
So that golf ball is I wasplaying golf with my grandfather
when I was 12 years old and hehad a one on one.

Speaker 2 (21:26):
He did.

Speaker 1 (21:27):
He had a hole on one.
Yeah, he hit a hole on one.
I was there to, you know, helpcelebrate or whatever, but I was
12 years old and I rememberplaying and you know he had a
stroke and we couldn't find theball.
And we're looking around thegreen I'm like, well, I'm going
to go look.
And I looked in the cup and Iwas like, dude, you gotta be

(21:49):
kidding me, right, you know.
And so that was uh from hisoffice.
You know, years and years andyears ago.
And then the painting above myshoulder it is uh had been in
his office.
He was an architect in texas,had been in his office since the
late 60s, early 70s, and soevery time I was in his office
growing up I remember that.
And so when he passed, and thatwas, one of the things that
ended up in my office, which waspretty cool so.

(22:11):
But they had.
There was no girls in my familyfrom my grandparents down.
Like they had two boys and thenmy mom and then my mom has
three boys and then everybodyelse has boys and there's boys
everywhere, and so there reallywasn't a granddaughter.
And so when my daughter Kalenwas born, like it was like you
know, the lion King, like youknow, like everybody's super

(22:32):
excited that there's there's adaughter born, and my
grandfather was was, uh, inhospice and kind of on his last
thing, and so he was holding onuntil my daughter was born and
then, as soon as he found out mydaughter was born, two days
later he passed.
So it was interesting, but Ihad a really good relationship
with him and my grandmother.
My grandmother was super cool.

(22:54):
She always had some flavor toher.
She had all these wild jacketsand all sorts of stuff.
And I remember when she wasgoing, she'd come up to see us
in Seattle.
When I was younger we were atNordstrom downtown and she
bought a pair of green suedePrada loafers and I was like
that just says bitch and grandmaall over it, right, you know?
And I was like whose grandmarocks green loafers, you know?

(23:17):
And so she was, uh, she waspretty cool like that.

Speaker 2 (23:23):
What, um?
What did?
What did grandpa do for a job?
He was an architect, okay.
So, if you think, about, likethe time with your pops before
he passed time with your mom,time with your grandparents
obviously, grandpa being such ahuge impact on your life, Like

(23:50):
what?

Speaker 1 (23:50):
were like and if you can think of a story like what
were some of the core valuesthat you really learned through,
maybe a story that you've maybesince shared with your kids
today.
You know my grandfather wasjust a stand-up guy, like there
was no gray, it was very muchright or wrong, black or white.
How you stand up and show upfor your wife and your kids, how

(24:15):
it is that you are in thecommunity, how it is that you're
involved in either your kid'sschool, how you're involved in
church, how you show up Likethat era of a gentleman, even
outside of the I wear a coat andtie and drive a Cadillac and
you know that kind of a thing.
But that era of that coupledwith the, the, you know kind of

(24:36):
that Sinatra vibe of just coolwas him.
You know he never shooksomebody's hand sitting down.
Um, he always introducedhimself, um, he'd always opened
the door.
It is for my mother and mygrandmother Always taught you
just kind of respect and tablemanners and on and on, and just

(24:57):
the true kind of picture of aclassy gentleman in a small town
was him.
And so a lot of that, whatunfortunately seems like has
gone out of style, which is justkind of the etiquette of a
gentleman and courtesy andmanners and stuff like that.

(25:20):
Like you know, what's weird inour house that I grew up in that
I saw other families do that Ilearned is that you know, when I
, when friends or people wouldcome over, my friends would meet
some of or my excuse me, mykids would meet some of our
friends or they'd meet you knowwhoever it is, and I'd say, hey,
you know, uh, you know, joshua,this is Mr Jay Cox, you know Mr
Jay Cox.
And people would say, oh, justcall me Casey, and he'd be like

(25:43):
I can't do that, you know, right, like he's not Casey, you're
not Pierce, this is Mr Jaycox.
Shake his hand and say hello,right, you know, and it was
always like that for us andcandidly, still is my eldest son
, josh, was just beginning to.
It is that.
I know that he's now kind of.
There's that kind of, you know,concentric circle, of overlap,

(26:16):
of network effect.
It is that goes.
Who used to be Mr Bailey is nowMr Bailey.
That's Paul.
Hey, paul, right.
So now it's Paul, right, youknow but that.
But he's 24 now and out ofbusiness school and doing his
own shit.
Like that part's changed.
I think that was something bigfor my grandfather, my father.
You know we, we started theconversation and you talk about

(26:38):
the things that is, that youlearned.
That are either examples ofwhat to do or what not to do.
My father was a little bit of anot a mess, but a little bit of
a mess, like one of the thingsthat is is one of my.
One of my biggest pet peeves isbeing on time, right Like
there's the being on time.
Yes, being on time, like beinglate to me is just unacceptable.
It's that thing of early is ontime, on time.
As you know, late and late isunacceptable, right.

(27:00):
And my kids, if they get atattoo that's going to be on
their forehead, right, likethat's just how it is right.
Um, my dad would would tell me.
I remember as a kid he'd tellme, okay, great, I'll pick up at
noon and we'll go to lunch,great, and at 2 30 I still
hadn't seen him, and threeo'clock he'd roll in, like it
was no big deal, and I was like,you know, and as a kid, that
just fucks you up, right, and Iwas just like dude, right, like
it, just that emotional rollercoaster of that.

(27:22):
And so, like I, when my wife andI first got married, we were
going through that because it'slike, okay, hey, we're going to
leave at seven o'clock to go tothe movie, go to the show, go to
Joe's house, whatever we weredoing at seven o'clock.
And you know, great, it's 10 toseven, and it's like, let's go,
baby, move it.
Right, my wife was never late,she was also never early, right,
you know, six, fifty, nine anda half, and so you know, there's

(27:52):
these little, just lessons andexperiences, that life, that
kind of shape, how it is, as youlook at things.

Speaker 2 (27:54):
Yeah, you know my dad .

Speaker 1 (27:55):
yeah, I'm sorry, Go ahead.

Speaker 2 (27:56):
I was going to say.
It's funny how some people inlife you either are the 10
minute early guy, which is me,or you're the six, 59, seven,
6.59, 7.00.
And I would be stressed out andbe a disaster Totally.
But there's people maybe yourwife's one of them and I'm like
actually jealous of those peoplethat they can just get to the
and they're fine.
And now I like my daughter.

(28:18):
She just left the house.
She has like a recruiting thingtonight for basketball.
She's going to and they've gotan open gym, but the family
they're going with's she'smeeting him at 4 15 and it takes
lily two minutes to get thereand it's 404.
She left at 403.
she's gonna get there 10 minutesearly and I'm so glad that

(28:38):
she's like, okay, you know, shejust doesn't want to um.
Now my son, he gets early too,but he's a little bit more lax
with like you know he plays golfin college right now.
Nice.
So I'm like, dude, like yourtea time, like think about you
know, and like I think just Ihate to call us guys out, but
we're idiots until we like reach30.

(28:58):
Maybe your kids are differentI'm heavy joking everybody but
like girls are just smarter ayounger age, they're way more
mature, they're um, school-wise.
It just seems like it comeseasier to them and then maybe we
kind of catch up later in life.
But long would.
A weird answer why I'm sharingthis.
I love that time.
We've taught that and our kidsvalue it because it is important

(29:19):
.

Speaker 3 (29:21):
I agree.
Hi, I'm Betsy Robinson, ceo ofTier 4 Group, a women-owned and
diversity-certified technologyrecruiting and executive search
firm that connects exceptionaltalent with extraordinary
companies in 43 states acrossthe US.
At Tier 4 Group, relationshipsare at the heart of everything
we do, whether it's with ourclients, our candidates, our

(29:43):
vendor partners or with eachother.
Our mission is to go beyondtransactions and create
long-lasting partnerships.
We don't just help companiesfind talent, we help them find
the right talent, and thatstarts with truly understanding
our clients and candidates.
It's not just about fillingroles, it's about fostering
success for the long term.

(30:04):
This is the recipe for successthat's landed us on the Inc 5000
six consecutive years and hasus outpacing our competition
across the country, and I'mthrilled to support Casey
Jaycox's podcast.
Casey's philosophy alignsperfectly with ours,
prioritizing relationships overtransactions.

(30:25):
His insights on building trust,empathy and connection resonate
deeply with the way we dobusiness at Tier 4 Group.
We were honored to have Caseyas our keynote at our 2024
kickoff, and all of our newhires read his book Win the
Relationship, not the Deal, whenthey start here with us.
So if you're looking for apartner who values relationships

(30:48):
as much as results, visit us attier4groupcom or connect with
me, betsy Robinson, directly onLinkedIn and, while you're at it
, keep tuning into Casey'spodcast.
You'll walk away inspired tostrengthen your own
relationships, both personallyand professionally, and, as
Casey always says, stay curiousprofessionally and, as Casey

(31:09):
always says, stay curious.

Speaker 2 (31:11):
You know, I don't know if you've had examples in
business, but I remember therewas a guy that I was doing like
a like a leadership event forlike a sales team, and everybody
was there and I was, I was likein a fractional sales executive
role for this company and itwas meeting to start at 830.
And at like 841, he tried toget into the Zoom and I declined
him.
He wanted to get in the Zoom, Ideclined him again and then all

(31:34):
of a sudden someone calls hey,casey, this person tried to get
on.
I'm like I know, and he's notgetting in, why I go?
Because he was late and hedidn't ask me and he didn't tell
me, didn't set expectations.
So I'm not being the a-hole,I'm teaching them a lesson.
And so they text me can I get?
And I go.
I didn't respond and then Ifinally talked to him afterwards
.
When I finally talked for hisone-on-one, I said imagine if I

(31:55):
was a vice president that youwere trying to meet with for two
years, would you have done that?
Would you?
Or would you have said oh mygod, kate, I'm sorry I'm gonna
be five minutes late.
Traffic, at least tell mesomething, just to show up like
it's.
The world revolves around you.
Yeah, so it's like.
I just don't want.
I never will be that way.
I don't want my kids to be thatway and I'm glad that you kind
of sparked us court you can seefrom it, but you're absolutely

(32:18):
right, right, I mean.

Speaker 1 (32:18):
So, first off it it should be something personally.
It is that you hold yourself toa standard that that should be
unacceptable for you, period,period, and if it's not, there's
something wrong with you.
Secondly, it's unbelievablydisrespectful to the audience or
the person it is that you'resupposed to meet with, and then
you just have the expectationthat it'd be.
Flippant about the fact that itis that you can be late and
it's not a big deal, especiallyin the world that we live in,

(32:40):
it's instant community.
It takes me two and a halfseconds to say, casey, I can't
find a parking place.
I'll be there in two minutes.
I'm sorry, I'll be right there.
Right, it takes you two seconds, or anything like that, and the
fact that you didn't do thatjust means you're lazy and if
you're lazy you don't deserve toget into the Zoom.

Speaker 3 (32:54):
Stay outside.

Speaker 2 (32:56):
No, okay.
So I love that.
The old school which isshouldn't be old school, it's
still like my daughter has got aboyfriend.
He's very respectful's.
He's very respectful and doesthe um, my son's very.
He's a gentleman to hisgirlfriend and I love that.
This is we're going to talkabout this.
Hopefully there's some dadslistening.
There'll be.
Like you know, I'm going tobring back some of the old

(33:16):
school.
I'm not talking about TonyBennett, everybody.
I'm talking about like a firmhandshake, calling them by the
Mr Um, maybe even a handwrittennote.
Never I I still lovehandwritten notes and people
send me them.
So your grandpa taught you alot about like just the, I think
, old school chivalry of what itmeans to like treat a woman, be

(33:37):
a leader of the house, howabout, like you know, dealing
with adversity or a work ethicDoes.
Were there stories that maybethat comes to mind, where you,
where you learned that obviouslybeen successful in business,
but like, where did that comefrom?

Speaker 1 (33:51):
You know it's.
It's weird.
I think a lot of the thelessons that I get from my
grandfather have less been kindof taught and more just kind of
walked.
I guess.
Right, you know, because Idon't think that generation
necessarily said let me sit downand teach you the three most
things it is that you can do tobe successful in life.
They just did.

Speaker 2 (34:12):
It's worked.

Speaker 1 (34:13):
They just worked and you watch that and you see that
kind of consistency of certainkind of habits or practices or
behaviors or attitudes orotherwise it is, and you just
begin to observe how otherpeople around see those things
and then you decide what it isthat you do or don't want to
emulate.
And there's there's there'svery few, and I can't think of

(34:34):
any necessarily about mygrandfather that I would not
want to emulate was just a supergood dude.
The work habit in me I work nowprobably six days a week, used
to work seven.
I think the work habit in mereally comes.

(34:54):
There's some uh, goofy, fuckedup chip on my shoulder.
It is from life somewhere it isthat says you know, um, that I
feel guilty for not working,like I don't give myself a lot
of grace to sit down and just,you know, take a day off and go
play golf or do it Like I don'tever do that.
Um, not that that's right orwrong, right, I mean, everybody

(35:16):
makes decisions for how it isthat they value their time and
where those trade-offs are andthings I just haven't.
You know the things for me itis that are, I've always been
important is, you know, spendingtime spoiling, loving on my
wife and my children andbuilding my business and then
making sure I'm doing things formyself.
It is that allow me to do kindof mental pushups.
So when it's time for me toshow up and and and give to

(35:40):
other people, it is that I'mprepared to do so.
And if I go take five or sixhours, it is to go play golf.
The trade-off to me isimbalance.
It's not worth it, right thelike I just I just don't see
that Right, so I don't.
You know there's a lot of dadsout there and it's not judgment.
You do what it is that you wantto do, but you know leaving
your wife, you know working allweek, being away from your wife
and kids and then going anddeciding to spend eight hours on

(36:02):
a golf course with your buddy,away from your wife and kids, I
think you're a dumbass.
I think all the time it is thatyou spend on fantasy, football
and all this stuff, that's apretend life.
It is that gets or not showingup or loving, but not leading
your kids.
You're kind of doing a shittyjob, brother.
It should probably up your game, like I.
Just it's not a degree of kindof ego or or arrogance on my

(36:24):
part.
I just I choose to spend timeon the things, that is, that are
more valuable than that, whichjust means I don't have time for
shit.
That's not valuable.

Speaker 2 (36:33):
Yeah, well, I, I am, I play golf, but I play early.
So I'm back and like when mykids were young, I, I, I think I
, to your point, I, um, I wouldhave played, I would play like a
five, 30.

Speaker 3 (36:45):
So I'm back by eight when they were getting up to
eight, 30 or nine.

Speaker 2 (36:49):
Um cause I wanted to, I wanted to be present, um, you
know, and I think everybody'sgot to come to their own journey
of what they totally was rightfor them.

Speaker 1 (36:58):
Um, I mean, they totally do, and I think you know
everybody is different.
For you from everything it isthat I understand is you have
more control of of your time andright.
So you being able to play golfon the weekend and this is I
just had a um interview withsomebody talking about this the
other day you're you being ableto do, uh, to go play golf with
your buddies for five or sixhours or do whatever on the
weekend.

(37:18):
You don't necessarily have tofeel guilty of that because you
spend all the time sewing intoyour wife and your kids over the
week, right?
So the challenge is is mostpeople don't do that.
Like, most people are up givingtheir best to somebody else.
Their wife gets the scraps onthe leftovers and the bullshit
that she finds in the fridge andthen, man, I've had such a
rough week, I'm going to leaveand go spend Saturday, you know,
getting drunk and talking shit.
You know, at the golf course,dude, okay, that's why there's.

(37:42):
You know, whatever 60% divorcerate or whatever it is Right.
Like this dude, you're notyou're.

Speaker 2 (37:47):
You needed that up a little bit goal when I started
this podcast years ago was justto really help give dads a
platform Like there's.
There's some that, and successis defined by everybody
differently.
How you define success, how Idefine success, it doesn't mean
you're right, I'm right, you'rewrong, you're wrong.
But I wanted to provideconversations so dads can learn

(38:07):
from other dads of.
Hey, I don't like where I'm atright now, what are some, what
are some things some other dadsdoing that I might maybe copy
them and just use their story asa way to help me improve
relationship with my kids, withmy wife, with.
Maybe I'm not exercising, Ijust don't know how to get
freaking back on track.
Well, let's.
Maybe you learned a story froma dad, vice versa, or maybe just
taking a walk.
Maybe it's a story about metaking my walk, my dad, my dog,

(38:29):
two walks today.
Maybe it's like I guess I couldhave done that, versus be on
instagram for an hour not doingdoing anything, you know.
So what as you and your wiferaised the, your three kids that
are obviously two in collegeand one out of college, one in
college, one almost to collegewhat, what were the values that

(38:49):
were most important to you bothwhen you're raising your kids?

Speaker 1 (38:53):
Yeah, you know, we.
I think a couple of things isthat, you know, I think it
starts with the husband and wife.
There's that old saying of thebest thing you can do for your
kids is love their mother.
So if my wife and I are goodand we have a good relationship
and we're communicating, we'reon point, we're in sync, we're
doing all the right things, oras many of the right things as

(39:14):
we can, then there's a higherlikelihood it is my kids are
going to turn out okay becausethey feel safe in the
environment as we created forthem.
Past that one of the things itis that we had with our kids is
that you know, we never had a.
You know Joshua's had a soccergame.
So when he comes home, you knowmom interested in Kalen, we're
like so how was the game?
Dude?
You don't even have to ask howthe game, because if Joshua's

(39:36):
got a game, the four of us arethere, and if Kalen's got a play
, the four of us are there, andif someone's got this, the four
of us are there.
Now there's times growing up towhere you know it's the normal
mom and daddom, to where youdivide and conquer because you
got one over here and one overhere and one over here, like, of
course that.
But if not, we're all togethereverywhere, wherever somebody is

(39:56):
at, and the loudest peoplecheering.
That was never even debatable,right, because ultimately the
five of us are each other's bestcheerleaders, the best advocate
.
Nobody knows us better,nobody's a better support, and
so, like we coined you know,like we're kind of like the hill
mafia man, right, like I'mgoing to cut you and we'll ask
questions later, right, but itis very much the fact that there

(40:20):
should be nobody.
It is that my kids ever chooseto spend time with, or elect to
favor, more than their brothersand sisters.
Period, until the time you'remarried, like Kaylin's got a
serious girlfriend, or she's gota serious boyfriend and
Joshua's got a girlfriend thathe's been dating a while, and so
does Tristan, and that's greatand we love them and you're

(40:40):
welcome here anytime.
But if there is ever a point towhere there's a decision that is
coming up, all of them are afar distant second at best.
The other thing it is that wedo now is that they're older.
If your brother or sister callsyou, pick up the phone.
I don't care if you're in class, I don't care if you're at work
, it doesn't freaking matter.
My wife calls me, I pick up thephone.

(41:00):
If I'm sitting down having abusiness meeting with you or
dinner with you, whatever it is,my wife knows it is that I'm
there and if she's calling mewhile I'm there, she needs
something.
Hey, casey, excuse me twoseconds.
This is my wife, that priorityand a standard as a family for
what it is that should be, andeverything else is second best.

(41:21):
People don't do that, like whenI see kids, it is that the
siblings don't talk or theydon't get along or they're
fighting.
You're doing something wrong,dude, like I don't care about
independent personalities andboys will be boys and all the
other bullshit that people sayno, that's not acceptable.
This is where it is that youknow we've really been talking
about the fact in our housesthat for dads or husbands, it's

(41:48):
easy to love your wife and tolove your children.
My guess is that every dad itis that's listening to this when
you ask them about their kids.
And hey, you know, casey, tellme about your two kids.
You love your kids.
You're not going to haveanybody go sometime right, like,
no, dude, of course, of courseI love my kids.
That's the easy part, dude, ifif you're loving your kids but

(42:13):
you're not leading your kids andsetting an example and setting
a standard and helping them walkthrough decisions and helping
them kind of grow up and glow upand get to that period of time,
to where it is that they'regoing to be good humans.
I also think you need to upyour dad game some, loving them
and being their buddy andcheering them on.

(42:34):
That's the easy shit.
As they get older, you got toup your dad game some and,
candidly, most people are toolazy to do that.

Speaker 2 (42:42):
I think.
I think it's one, one greatthing I learned that maybe can
help dad's, those conversationsYou're sparking some people
Listen is I interviewed a guyand he and he he'd ask his
family question.

Speaker 3 (42:54):
but say tell, and he'd ask his family a question.

Speaker 2 (42:58):
He'd say tell me what's one way I can be a better
dad this week.
Tell me what's one way I can bea better husband this week.
And if you really want to know,you want to be better, if you
want to try to take your daggingnext level, ask.
Sometimes our ego gets in theway.
We want to assume we have allthe answers, which no one does,
and I think that's why I'm acontinuous learner.
I love learning from people, Ilove being around people who

(43:18):
have, like which I think,figured it out, but they, they
haven't.
There's just there's.
There's always another level ineverything we do.

Speaker 1 (43:25):
Just a little bit further down the road.
That's it I will.
I'll share a story with youabout our kids that I think
you'll like, I think thelisteners will like.
So my eldest, eldest son, whenhe was playing soccer.
We were traveling all over theplace all the time and this
happened to be one of thoseinstances to where, I think, my
wife and I were in divide andconquer mode.
So tristan was playing inseattle, josh had a tournament
in vegas, so I was in vegas withhim and wife was back dealing

(43:47):
with the other two, and so we'rein vegas, we're staying in old
vegas.
So um, front street, fremont,whatever the old Vegas is, I
don't know, we're like thegolden, golden nugget.
The old not the strip, whateverthe old Vegas is, and so that's
where the team hotel was.
So that's interesting.
And so we had already had thegame today, we'd already had the
team dinner, we'd already doneall the crap.
It is that you have to do whenyou're traveling, and so we're

(44:09):
back, have to get up in themorning.
So I was like I'm not tired, meneither.
What do you want to do?
I don't know.
What do you want to do.
I don't know what do you wantto do?
Right, and I was like you wantto go for a walk?

(44:44):
He's like okay, cool, what's thequestions game?
I was like I don't know.
I'm kind of making it up as wego.
Here's the story.
I said I'm gonna ask you fivequestions, and you can ask me
five questions.
There's nothing off limits.
You have to 100, tell the truth, no matter the circumstances,
and nothing ever leaves thisroom, yeah, and you and you can
see him processing like I wantto say yes, but I'm scared.
He's like yeah, fuck, yeah, I'min.
I was like, all right, let'sroll.
And so five questions turnedinto about a dozen.

(45:07):
But the first questions arekind of easy, like so what's
your favorite color, or whatever, something stupid, but like by
question 11, it's like have youever snorted cocaine out of a
hooker's ass on a Tuesday inVegas on a you know like?
You know Wolf of Wall Streettype stuff, right, and I say
that to a certain level ofextreme, but it's also the fact
that is that we've now done thatas a family, collectively as

(45:31):
five, or individually, just meand my daughter, just me and my
kids, my kids and my wife,serious boyfriend that my
daughter has.
It is and I and her together,with nothing off limits, a
hundred percent truth.
And the thing that itunconsciously did is I got to

(45:53):
know Kalen as as Kalen and notKalen as my daughter, and it's
different and people don'trecognize that.
And then Kaylin got to know meas more than just her dad.
She got to know me as Jeremyand all the different questions
it is that you and I start tolook at about childhood and this
and fears and otherwise, andmom, money and sex and all the
stuff that is there, right, andthat became kind of really,

(46:15):
really cool.
And so we've done that.
Now six, seven, eight years, wehave some of our family,
friends it is, that are nowdoing that with their kids and
it is.
It's developing a weirdointeresting kind of bond and
connection beyond just okay,these are my three kids and
they're my kids, but they'realso individuals.
It just that part turned outreally, really cool for us.

Speaker 2 (46:35):
It.
Just that part turned outreally, really cool for us.
The one thing that's this iskind of so silly.
I don't know why it triggeredme to tell you this story, but
one of the dads I interviewed Iinterviewed him and he was.
He encouraged me to get onSnapchat and I was like I'm 49.
I'm not getting on Snapchat,but I'm so grateful I'm on

(46:55):
Snapchat because now they keeptrack of the streak.
You know, I have a 240something day in a row
communication with my son.
You're kidding.
How cool.
And it's not because, oh, I gotto get in touch with my dad.
It's like just what we do nowand it's I just love that.
Like I've heard stories of likeyou go from.

(47:16):
I just love that.

Speaker 1 (47:19):
I've heard stories of you go from caregiver to coach,
to consultant.

Speaker 2 (47:21):
We're out of the caregiver, we're now more in the
coach phase, even though he'sin college.
But the maturity that we'veseen our son from senior year in
high school to now six, sevenmonths into college has blown us
away.

Speaker 1 (47:34):
That's wonderful.
Where's he playing?

Speaker 2 (47:37):
golf A small school called Southern Oregon.

Speaker 3 (47:39):
Awesome.

Speaker 2 (47:39):
Yeah, loves it and you know there's ups and downs
there.
But, like I think, because ofall the mindset, the
communication, the adversity,the stories I've shared with him
about my athletic career, mom'sjourney she's gone through,
it's like he's handling it very,very he's handling it very very
well, and it's been.
Oh, it's like the best and sohe's lucky to have you.

(48:01):
Yeah, just knock on wood.
That continues down that pathand just keep the lines of
communication open.
And I mean I'm grateful forSnapchat because you opened up
another means of communicationwith me and my son.
So what would it be as youreflect?
Maybe you got so on a highschool, but if you had to like,
if you're watching film andyou're saying, man, this is an
area of my dad game thatprobably not the best, where I,

(48:23):
if I could really reflect andchange one thing and that might
speak to another dad, if we canhelp dad, maybe.
And for me it was alwayspatience.
I've worked on hard on mypatients and I think, just
having this podcast for sixyears, my patience has gotten
better.
Tell me what's near your dadgame that you know you could
stand to improve a little bit.

Speaker 1 (48:44):
My dad game's pretty on point right now, but that's
been a long time coming right,Like there's multiple, multiple
years to where it is that I lookback and I'm very unimpressed
with myself.
I think, as you're a youngerdad not necessarily younger by

(49:07):
age, but younger by experience,right, you know you're kind of
figuring shit out.
You know and you're notrealizing that there are means
by which it is that you can kindof prioritize things, Like it's
okay to turn your phone off andplay Legos for an hour, Right,
and I think so many people thathas had that kind of degree of

(49:28):
guilt to where they're kind ofpresent and kind of not, and
kind of Legos and kind of workand kind of all at the same time
.
You know, and it's just, it's a, it's a bad deal.
I justified working so much forprioritizing my family, not
realizing it is that, um, youknow there's a couple of
meetings and a couple of callsand a couple of emails and a

(49:48):
couple of shits that I thoughtwere really important at the
time.
That could have waited an hour,could have waited until
tomorrow.
I don't have to answer thephone every time it rings and it
took me a long time to uhfigure that out on, out on where
it is that you're choosing toprioritize things, and I feel
like it is that I have thatpretty dialed now, like I'm

(50:10):
pretty rigid on my schedule andwhen I pick up my phone or when
I don't, and I don't allowinterruptions, it is with my
children and my wife at all,anytime, regardless of what it
is, unless you know somebody'sall replaceable or something,
yeah, all replaceable, orsomething, yeah, all replaceable
, and, um, I think that part hasgotten considerably better over
time.
I think that you know, just likeanything else, I could

(50:32):
certainly be, you know, morepatient, ish, you know.
But I think that there's also,um, a line too, for there's a
strength that is the has to comewith with maybe not being
patient.
Like I'm patient to a point, ifit's ever to a point in time,
to where it is that I lose mypatience.
We need to sit down and discusswhat the fuck you were doing,
to where you weren't listening.
That caused me to lose mypatience, right.

(50:53):
And so I think, for dads too,like don't, don't also be the
whipping boy, I think you know,oftentimes, you know, um, dads,
you know you are because youhave the weight of the world,
right, like you see behind me,I've got an atlas right, like
I've got an atlas on my desk for20 years.
Right, because you feel theweight of the world on your
shoulders and, whether you wantto or not, most husbands and

(51:17):
fathers are forced to develop astrong back and broad shoulders,
whether you chose that or not.
Back and broad shoulders,whether you chose that or not,
it's a blessing, not a burden.
But you need to make sure it isthat that responsibility
doesn't come without recognition.
Like I'm not my wife, I'm notmy kids, I'm not my parents, I'm
not anybody else's whipping boy, I choose to take on this

(51:37):
responsibility.
It is to serve you, so you needto recognize that, and I think
for dads it is, is they need torecognize it is that they're
valuable and it's okay to takeall that stuff on.
But give yourself a little bitof grace right, like you're not.
You know Casey's not perfect.
I'm not perfect, michael.
Jordan, I heard a shot or two,right like.
So it's okay.

Speaker 2 (52:01):
I think it's good.
I hope dads realize that I meanI'm thankful I learned that
what you just talked about atage 32, 33.
My, I was coming home and I gethome at like 650 and my son go
to bed at seven and I was likethis is not what being a dad's
about.
And I was like our number onerep at this company used to be

(52:23):
at for a long time and it waslike, yeah, they loved it, but I
didn't.
I wasn't having fun and Ifinally was at a just burnout.
And I remember when my boss isshout out to Angela Veronica
giving her much love in this,where she's like why don't you
leave it for?
I'm like, because this isn't abank.
Like bank, nope, nope, right.
I was bank.

(52:44):
No, no, right.
I was like can't, it's noteight to five.
It's like sometimes you got tostay late.
I'm like well, why?
She's like don't you trust yourteam?
I'm like, yeah, I trust my team.
This is well, we can get yourback if we have to stay late
once a while.
Like go home, I know you'regonna probably log back on at
night once you like and makesure you're ready for the next
day.
As long as you are ready to go.
I'm like I'm fine with that.
I'm like, really, it's funny.
Once I did that and then I waslike that was where I really

(53:05):
learned to be present.
When I was five to seveno'clock, during, you know, kids,
dinner time, bath time, and Ididn't answer my phone unless it
was, I mean, two out of ahundred.
I'd answer yeah, and I becauseit wasn't as important as I
thought.
And the world moved on and whenI left this company, after
spending 20 years here, theydidn't go out of business.
They're still doing fine.

(53:26):
So, um, all right, well, as weget ready to wrap up here and go
to lighting round, um, if youhad to summarize, we'll call it
three actionable things thatdads can take from our
conversation that they can sayman I.
This is a pretty interestingconversation.
I learned that these, thatthese could be two or three
things I could do right now inmy family to maybe be a better

(53:47):
leader in my home or be a betterversion of myself or create a
more healthier environment athome.
Tell me what comes to mind.

Speaker 1 (53:54):
So if you're married and half the guys listening to
this are married and half arenot but if you're married, I
would say the first thing it isthat you can do is have an
incredible relationship withyour wife and make sure it is
that you nurture that.
That is the best example it isthat you can give your children.
If you are divorced orseparated, it is from your wife.
Don't talk shit on her right.
You're still.

(54:14):
Whether it is that you'remarried or not, you're still
setting the example it is foryour children about how it is
that you're respecting theirmother, whether their mother is
your wife or not.
That's important.
The second thing is your habits.
You know your habits and yourbehavior.
Whether it's working out, goingto the gym, whether you're, you
know, drinking with the buddies, whatever those things are,

(54:37):
your kids are paying attentionand watching more than you
realize, because if you thinkback to when it is that you were
young, there's things, that is,that you remember good and bad
about your parents too, and soif you think your kids are not
watching you, they are, and Iwould say you need to be
thoughtful and mindful aboutyour behavior, how it is that
you act, how it is that you showup how it is that you treat

(54:57):
other people, where yourattitude is, how much shit
you're talking about the news orthe neighbor or whatever it is
that you're doing.
Set a better example, like makesure it is that you are proud
of you and if you're proud withthe person, it is that you are
today.
Strong likelihood it is thatyour kids would probably think
you're pretty cool too it's goodman, it's um simple, hard to do

(55:20):
, but simple.

Speaker 3 (55:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (55:22):
You know.
Okay, how can?
So if people heard JV Capitaland they're like, well, what is
an investment independentinvested bank?
What?
Like they were, like maybethey're really confused.
Like pretend we're talking tothe three-year-old or the
95-year-old grandma.
Like, describe what you, whatyou do and how people can learn
more about JV Capital.

Speaker 1 (55:42):
Yeah, I mean.
So first, thanks for asking.
I appreciate it.
And so I've got a companycalled JV Capital.
Jv Capital is an independentinvestment banking advisory, so
we were hired gun to go solveproblems for companies, and most
of those have to do with money.
So the business itself isreally tailored towards
organizing and structuring orrestructuring debt.
So you know our.
So our core business is five to$50 million check sizes.

(56:04):
So I don't do good ideas on acocktail napkin or startups.
Or if I only had $5 million I'dbe on the cover of Forbes.
I'm not your guy, I'm not thatsmart.
It's usually companies that areat that inflection point to
where they don't know if theywant to give up equity in the
business.
So they're trying to finance itwith debt.
They've maybe already gonethrough a round of venture
capital and private equity andso now they're looking to
continue to perpetuate thatgrowth.

(56:24):
They just don't want to go backto the sponsor and shake the
cup again.
Or they've gone to the bank andthe bank can only get them sort
of pregnant right, like Caseyand Jeremy's business.
We need 5 million bucks.
The bank's comfortable withthree, and so now I'm kind of
there and kind of not.
Now what the million done?
A little bit better than $2billion at this point.
That's a good little business.

(56:48):
We have three funds.
It is that are my personalbalance sheet plus some
investors that we've investedout of the last five years.
Those are just kind ofseasoning out.
But I mean, if you're wrestlingwith problems about how to
structure capital, how to lookat partners, how to figure out,
do I want debt equity, one thingor another, like we can help
with that.
You know we're easy to find.
Just look up JB Capital,jb-capitalcom.

(57:11):
It's pretty easy.
We're on all the socialchannels or otherwise.
We do or I've done.
It's kind of come out ofnowhere.
It is a bunch of kind of youknow, fatherhood, dad leadership
, kind of coaching stuff.
It is the tap-in with Dean andTony and a bunch of these people

(57:31):
over the last year or so thatit was unexpected.
And so if you want to checkthat stuff out, go to
thejeremybhillcom or check usout on any kind of social stuff.
If you want to chat on that, wecan chat on that too Cool.
I'll make sure this is linked inthe show notes.
Is there a specific industry orvertical you guys serve For JB

(57:51):
Capital.
So we have two sides.
So there's a real estate sidewhich is primarily multifamily
and industrial.
We've done a little bit ofoffice rework because office
right now is kind of in just ashit storm.
So we're having some kind ofreorganization conversations
there.
But it's mostly office or,excuse me, mostly multifamily
residential industrial.
On the corporate side it's kindof growing software technology,
healthcare, health tech directto consumer businesses, and then
we've done a number of kind ofthe upper end of professional

(58:13):
services, so law firms, wealthmanagement businesses, insurance
practices, accounting firms,stuff like that.
So just think of us for privatecapital, non-bank lending.
You got a question.
We can help you or point you inthe right direction if we can.

Speaker 2 (58:27):
Very cool.
All right, it's now time to gointo the lightning round, which
is where I show you the negativehits of taking too many hits in
college.
Not bong hits, but footballhits.
Nice.
Your job is to answer thesequestions as quickly as you can.
My job is to try to make youlaugh.

Speaker 1 (58:41):
I'm excited and scared.
Here we go.

Speaker 2 (58:43):
Okay, um, if, if there was a race right now
between you and your three kids,you would win.

Speaker 1 (58:57):
Yeah, seriously.
Yeah, I'm pretty bad-ass.
My eldest son is really fast,but but my gym game's pretty
strong, so we arm wrestled lastnight for the other I was like,
hey, fuck it, let's arm wrestleLike over the top.
Sylvester over the top.
I turned my hat around, alsogot it.
So I still got it and he's.
He's a beast.

Speaker 2 (59:08):
I was actually surprised myself, so if, if
there was to be a wrestler, wwrhas to play you in in in a real
life wrestling movie.

Speaker 1 (59:24):
Um see, I think like old school stuff, like way back
in the day, like Jimmy thesuperfly, snooker.
Uh, the ultimate war.
I don't know if I was coolenough to be the ultimate
warrior.
Not a Ric Flair, definitely not.
And Ric Flair, that brother,had too much game for me.
But somewhere in the middlethere would be okay.

Speaker 2 (59:38):
Um, tell me the last book you read.

Speaker 1 (59:46):
Um the book.
The last book I read was lastbook I read was Skip the Line by
James Altucher, probably mymost favorite book over the last
year or two that I've handedout probably 25 times was
Greenlights by MatthewMcConaughey.

Speaker 2 (59:53):
That was a really good one.
Read that, yeah.
What would be the one genre ofmusic that might surprise your
clients?
You listen to surprise yourclients.

Speaker 1 (01:00:02):
You listen to, I'm a fricking old school reggae fiend
.
Okay, steel pulse and burningspear and Bob and stuff from way
back in the day.
I really like Peter Tosh, likeI really like a lot of that
stuff.
The surprise is nobody, it isthe.
You know the Frank Sinatra andPaul Anka and Dean Martin and
Sammy Davis jr and Tony BennettLike I love that kind of stuff,

(01:00:27):
yeah, but I can rock some reggaepretty good.

Speaker 2 (01:00:29):
Okay, if you and your wife were to go on vacation.
Sorry kids, you're staying homewith just mom and dad.
Where are we going?

Speaker 1 (01:00:36):
Right now we want to go to Turks.
We've been going back and forthon that and just haven't been
in timing and kids and all thatkind of stuff.
So I would say probably Turksor Maldives is probably next for
us Over the next month.

Speaker 2 (01:00:56):
Honestly, it's probably just a drive to
California to go sit on thebeach for a day and have a
little reprieve and then comehome Nice, we're heading to
Sacramento this week for mydaughter's basketball tournament
, so I'm excited to get down andsee some.
It's actually sunny in Seattletoday, but it's a little.
It'll be nice down there.
If there was to be a bookwritten about your life, tell me
the title.

Speaker 1 (01:01:09):
Drive fast.
When you hit something turn, Idon't know.

Speaker 2 (01:01:13):
You just quoted better off dead Almost.
Is that what it is really?

Speaker 1 (01:01:16):
Well, kind of on accident when I've seen better
off dead, because I rememberwhere he throws the guy's like
damn shit, throwing away aperfectly good white boy, right,
you remember that.
And the uh, the little psychokid.
But I want my two dollars twodollars, yeah, I remember.

Speaker 2 (01:01:35):
um, okay, so what was sorry?
So drive fast and thensomething gets your fast turn,
okay, so that's the name of the,that's the name of the book,
sure, sure, now it's selling outeverywhere.

Speaker 1 (01:01:45):
Now it's selling out everywhere.

Speaker 2 (01:01:46):
There you go, come and so now.
But Hollywood wants to make amovie out of it, and I need to
know.
You are now the castingdirector, so who's going to star
you in this criticallyacclaimed, hit new movie?

Speaker 1 (01:01:55):
Oh, dude, that's a great question.
Give me some Daniel Craigaction.
I think JB should stand forJames Bond, so I think Daniel
Craig's appropriate.

Speaker 2 (01:02:06):
There we go.
Okay, and now the last and mostimportant question Tell me two
words that would describe yourwife.

Speaker 1 (01:02:13):
So many.
The first thing that came tomind was beautiful and amazing.
I could also say loving andsupportive.
I could safe place, yeah, soshe's pretty awesome.

Speaker 2 (01:02:26):
There we go, lighting rounds over Um little little
little giggle, little serious,but no, it was, it was fun.
It was crazy how fast an hourgoes by whenever I do these
episodes.
Everybody Thanks for hangingwith us.
Um, jb, thanks for finding me,finding the podcast, and I'm
glad I found you, and I hopethat um, people took some, some
good notes.
I got a page full of notes.

(01:02:46):
Hopefully people can learn fromyour journey as a dad, um, the
good, the areas that you wishyou would maybe go back and do
differently.
I think there's let's, let'shelp a younger dad be a little
bit more present.
Um, if that phone call is maybenot as important as as we think
, right, right, it goes back tobeing setting clear expectations
with yourself, with your family, with your partner, with your

(01:03:06):
kids.
Sometimes you got to take thatphone call, but sometimes you
don't.
And I'm almost 50 and I cantell you that I had a nice run
in corporate and I didn't haveto take every phone call.
So you definitely struck achord there on me on that one
man, but we'll make sure this isall linked in the show notes.
I want to thank you for yourtime and I wish you the best
luck, but appreciate you spentsome time today on the
quarterback.

(01:03:26):
Dad cast enjoyed it.

Speaker 1 (01:03:27):
Brother, thanks for having me you bet.