Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:03):
Hi, I'm Riley.
SPEAKER_05 (00:04):
And I'm Ryder.
And this is my dad's job.
Hey everybody, it's CaseyJackson with the Quarterback
Dadcast.
Welcome to season six.
And I cannot be more excited tohave you join me for another
year of fantastic episodes ofConversations with unscripted
and raw and authenticconversations with dads.
(00:26):
If you're new to this podcast,it's simple.
It's a podcast where weinterview dads, we learn about
how they were raised, we learnabout the life lessons that were
important to them, we learnabout the values that are
important to them, and really welearn about how we can work hard
to become a better quarterbackor leader of our home.
So let's sit back, relax, andlisten to today's episode of the
Quarterback Dadcast.
Well, hey everybody, it's CaseyJ.
(00:47):
Cox with the QuarterbackDadcast, and we are in season
six.
I'm grateful uh for the all thesupport from all you guys and
maybe a few moments up there, afew listen, maybe around part
two.
Uh but our next guest, as we getreally wrap up season six, is
someone who I met through my myfriends at Forest Management,
who I have I have so muchrespect for.
I had a chance to work with themat the tail end of my corporate
(01:07):
career.
I met some fantastic people uhto highlight a few of the one
known as Rachel Todd Miller andthe one known as John Kaplan.
And um I heard uh this nextguest, a guy named John Boney,
on a podcast with Rachel fromForce Management, uh Revenue
Builders Podcast.
Actually, no, just the forcemanagement podcast pardon me.
And he really just I I love hiscuriosity.
(01:30):
Uh I loved his style.
I I knew that he was a techsystems guy, which intrigued me.
He's a basketball guy.
We're gonna learn about his hookshot that he once took down
Kareem Abdul Jabbar.
Find out, find out if that'strue.
Um, but joking aside, we'regonna learn about John the Dad
and how he's working hard tobecome that ultimate quarterback
or leader of his household.
Without further ado, Mr.
Boney, welcome to thequarterback techcast.
SPEAKER_02 (01:51):
Well, thank you very
much.
I'm excited to be here and uhhave the conversation we're
gonna have.
So, did you have a sky hook?
I did not have a sky hook.
That that was not a shot in myrepertoire.
I I had the infamous turnaroundjump shot.
That was that was my go-to.
SPEAKER_05 (02:05):
Oh, Larry Bird.
SPEAKER_02 (02:06):
Yeah, a little post
player.
SPEAKER_05 (02:08):
Nice.
Well, you know, in a little andpost player, that's like uh
Freud.
SPEAKER_02 (02:12):
Yeah, I wasn't so
little.
Well, I'm you know, six, seven.
That's kind of average size whenwe're playing.
SPEAKER_05 (02:17):
Wow, six, seven.
I don't know if I want to takethat charge, Sean.
Um, well, we always start outeach episode with gratitude.
So tell me, what are you mostgrateful for as a dad today?
SPEAKER_02 (02:29):
I am grateful for
the fact that I am blessed to
have three kids that are alladulting right now that are uh
successfully finding their waythrough life.
Um, well balanced.
Um, and you know, I'm sure we'llget into the conversation, but
well-balanced kids that are umjust out there adulting, you
know, living life and figuringit out.
(02:50):
And I'm couldn't be moregrateful for that.
SPEAKER_05 (02:53):
What a feeling.
I can't.
I'm a few years behind you.
I'm getting close to thatfeeling, fingers crossed.
Um, I'm grateful for uh the lastfew days.
We are in recording in September10th today.
This episode will come out in afew weeks, as I mentioned.
Um I'm grateful for the stage oflife where um this
entrepreneurial journey foundme.
I did not mean to start it.
Uh and uh it's given me theflexibility to make sure I don't
(03:15):
miss things that are massivelyimportant to me.
And yesterday, the last twodays, we watched my son or our
son compete in a college golftournament, and they played so
they play 36 holes day one withno break.
Like you start on like hestarted on four and you just no
you start on two and you justkeep going.
SPEAKER_02 (03:31):
Keep playing.
SPEAKER_05 (03:32):
And so you're trying
to get I mean you're trying to
keep ahead of your food, yourhydration.
Coaches are doing their bestjob, and we're we walked a
little bit, took the cart alittle bit, but he went 69.
Tough around, he shot 77 second,second round, but then ended up
with 74.
First event as a fr sophomore.
I think he took 20, he's liketied for 20th or something.
But just watching him grind, andI don't know if you're a golfer,
(03:56):
but as a golfer, uh one of myfavorite pieces of golf advice
that Roy McElroy shared with usis he says in three words, golf
is hard.
And yes, it is.
I mean, we all want to hit it inthe fairway, we all want to make
a pretty putt.
But it was just so fun watchingthe um the growth mentally, and
um, so I uh I decided to shakeit up.
(04:16):
I'm like, you know what?
I'm going to California thisweekend.
I'm gonna go watch them again.
And I'm so grateful for thatbecause I and when I'm 75 or 80,
I won't regret doing that.
SPEAKER_02 (04:26):
No, you will not.
And uh, you know, um it's thethere's nothing better than
watching your kids compete inwhatever it is that they're
doing.
I don't care if it's music,dance, golf, tennis, basketball,
whatever it is, just watchingthem go through the process of
learning and competing.
It's just such a fun thing.
So take advantage of that whileyou can because it absolutely
comes to an end at some point.
(04:47):
Uh I've experienced that too.
I've experienced that too.
SPEAKER_05 (04:52):
Well, before we dive
into that, um bring me inside.
So we said we got three kids,but bring me inside the you're
the quarterback.
I'm guessing the wife might bethe general manager, but bring
me inside the bony huddle.
SPEAKER_02 (05:01):
And uh probably
gonna take a turn that you
didn't expect.
So I'm divorced.
Um I got uh separated in 2017,and uh we officially divorced in
2023, end of December 2023.
Um and that was you knowprobably the toughest time of my
life that I've gone through.
It was a tough experience, andagain, why I'm so grateful for
(05:24):
where my kids are.
You know, it doesn't matter ifthe kids are young, if they're
teenagers, or if they're in orpost-college, um, divorce has an
effect on people.
Yeah and um, you know, I'm veryfortunate that um my ex-wife and
I have still have a rapport anda relationship that uh you know
we co-parent together and thethings that as they're adults
(05:46):
now, where we need to co-parent.
My oldest just got engaged, sowe're dealing with wedding stuff
and all that fun stuff that'sgonna be happening next May.
Um, but you know, we stillcommunicate on a regular basis
and work through the challengesthat we need to work through as
a family.
Um, but again, just very blessedthat uh I've got kids that are
(06:06):
as well grounded as they are,that you know, as we all know,
that can take a hard left turnum when you're going through a
family challenge like that.
So um we we gave it our valenteffort.
We you know, we were togetherfor 25 years married.
Um we continued to work on ourrelationship and mend things for
(06:29):
another four years um once weseparated and then kind of came
to the conclusion that uh thingswere where they were.
And um we we you know decided toto go through the divorce
process, and um here we are.
So it's a different life for menow, and I'm I'm figuring that
(06:50):
out, the journey along the way.
So again, that took a turn fromthe question that you had asked.
Uh, but there's a lot of lifelessons that were learned along
the way as we as we went throughthat.
SPEAKER_05 (06:59):
What was the biggest
lesson you learned?
SPEAKER_02 (07:02):
Uh priorities.
So just listening to you talkabout, you know, where you're
you know, spending the time withyour kids and the
entrepreneurial ship that you'vegotten that found you.
Um, I think what I learned andthe change that I made and how I
got the force management was Iwas still in that corporate
world chasing the next position,the next role, the next thing,
(07:23):
the next bonus, the nextincrease, whatever it is.
And um that was affecting me athome.
It was, you know, it was a grindand it was 24, you know, it was
on my mind 24-7.
And um what I had to learn fromthat and what I had to change
was I had to find something thatwas gonna bring me joy and
happiness.
And um that's when I called JohnKaplan, as you mentioned his
(07:46):
name earlier, um, and said, Hey,you know, I told you at some
point I'd work for yourorganization, now's the time.
And uh you know, it's been it'sbeen awesome, and it's given me
balance and the ability to goand visit my kids and travel and
see some other things and dosome other stuff.
So um it's been it's that thatwas probably the biggest lesson,
(08:09):
one of the biggest lessons thatI learned is I need to
prioritize and figure out what'simportant.
SPEAKER_05 (08:13):
Wow.
Well, I I think if you were, ifif people were, if we're if
there's a we call an NFL coachscouting my podcasting and
giving me feedback like, bro,you gotta have all these
pre-planned questions up front.
True, I get that.
But sometimes, like, I I didn'tknow that, and I really, really
appreciate you being vulnerableand honest because I think what
(08:35):
you just shared is gonnamassively speak to a dad at
home, someone who's goingthrough that or is on the path
to go through that.
And your your authenticity andvulnerability, John, was
freaking gold, and I commend youfor that because when we get
married, no one says, Man, Ican't wait in 28 years, we're
gonna get divorced.
That's the that's the next goal.
(08:55):
Let's chip away and make sure wehave money.
But it happens, it happens a lotin life.
And I've interviewed of 37, 18dads I've interviewed, I've
interviewed quite a few who'vegone through divorce.
I've gone through some who havereally embraced co-parenting.
I've interviewed some that havereally struggled.
I've interviewed remember KennyLofton from the Cleveland at the
time meetings now the Guardians.
He talked about the challengesof divorce when he was when
(09:17):
their kids were younger, and howI didn't know this, right?
But like um just the challengesof the court system and the
challenges of like with with umuh getting custody and how that
how I mean it's essentiallysaying it's sacked against us
dudes.
And and hearing that, you know,it's because it's easy just to
have an opinion from thesideline saying, oh really, but
(09:39):
listening to him, like, oh mygod, like it it was tough.
And he said the only reason whyhe was able to make through it
he had money.
SPEAKER_02 (09:46):
Yeah, yeah, it's
it's uh you know again, very,
very fortunate the way we workthrough things.
Um it was a very anarchical typeof uh separation and divorce.
We didn't lawyer up, we didn'tdo all the stuff that can
happen.
Um, but it's tough, and it's youknow, it would it many would
probably put themselves in theposition of, you know, I just
(10:09):
lost X, therefore I need to getback into the corporate
runaround so I can go make up Xagain.
And that's that's not thementality I have.
I'm not, you know, at this pointin my life, uh it's about giving
back and see how I can, andagain, force management allows
me to do this.
How can I take the things thatI've learned, the mistakes that
I've made, and the successesthat I've had?
(10:30):
I think there's more learningfrom the mistakes that we make
than anything else, and applythat to other people that are
going through this journey andum you know, helping them along
the way, wherever they may be,just kind of meet them where
they are.
And uh so there, you know, a lotof changes came through that.
But again, you know, to yourquestion, the the gratefulness I
have for my kids being as wellgrounded as they are.
(10:53):
Um it's uh praise that everyday.
SPEAKER_05 (10:57):
Love it.
Another thing I didn't mentionmy intro, but I want to mention
now just a um is you you saidyou said the phrase giving back.
You could see that sense of umwhat's the word?
Like I you know, I call it aboomerang mindset when you're
serving without keeping score.
I could hear it in your voicewhen you first talked to Rachel.
I heard it when we did a littleshort prep.
(11:18):
I heard I hear it again today.
So I think Force Manager'sgrateful.
I know they're they're luckythey got you and happy they have
you, and all the clients thatsales leaders that get get to
work with John.
I hope you're taking notes anduh I hope you you know you got a
good one in this facilitatorthat's gonna work with you, your
company.
But before we get into that,let's talk about each kid.
(11:38):
Highlight a little bit aboutwhere where they're each at, um,
maybe a sport or an activitythat really was their their
favorite growing up.
SPEAKER_02 (11:47):
Yeah, I this this
could take the next hour.
So I got um three kids, twogirls uh are the older two, and
my son's the younger.
So Amanda's my oldest.
She's uh she'll be 29 inDecember, and uh just got
engaged on Memorial Day weekend.
Um and she is working at TechSystems, lo and behold,
(12:09):
ironically enough, she uh didn'tintentionally follow me into the
staffing industry, but she'sthere.
She's been there for about fiveyears now and doing really well,
um, enjoying her time whileshe's there.
Um she played soccer all throughhigh school and won a state
championship while she was inhigh school.
So um, and you know, lovedwatching her compete, watching
(12:31):
her play her games and do herthing, and she still says stays
very active, not so much withsoccer, but just fitness in
general.
Um, you know, she does one ofthose club passes where it goes
from you know in Pilates, doingyoga, doing orange theory
classes.
Um, they've got a also got a oneand a half-year-old uh lab puppy
that uh she spends a lot of timewalking and exercising when she
(12:54):
can.
Uh and then her fiance is anavid golfer.
Um he uh played football at WakeForest.
He was uh a wide receiver whilehe was there and uh plays a ton
of golf.
And uh they live in Charleston,South Carolina, so that's that's
my oldest.
And then my middle, um Sarah isher name.
She is 26 and um she playedlacrosse through college.
(13:17):
She played at AmericanUniversity in Washington, DC.
Um again, loved watching hercompete through those.
That's why I said those yearsthat you know you have the
chance to watch your son competein college.
It's it's a special time.
Uh anytime is, but you know,watching them compete at that
level is is just a cool thing todo.
So uh she played five yearsthere, took her COVID year, and
(13:38):
got a master's degree, uh, aone-year master's degree while
she was still in school.
And she's still currently livingin the DC area, uh, working for
Signa Health.
And uh again, thriving.
She's um working on getting hercoaching um, I don't know what
you call it, her coachinglicense, I guess, with Orange
(13:59):
Theory.
She also does that and runs andstays, you know, keeps herself
in shape.
And then my son, uh Michael,he's in Charlotte, and um he is
also working for Tech Systems.
He's been there for about sevenmonths.
Again, I had nothing to do withthat.
He uh he came out of school, hegraduated from JMU, um, James
(14:20):
Madison University, and hisfirst job was an internship with
the Pittsburgh Steelers, and uhthey don't really hire many
people full-time, and so hesaid, Dad, I think I can make
more money out of this sportsworld.
I think I'm gonna go check outthis recruiting world.
So he moved to Charlotte.
He's uh working for TechSystems, and again, he uh he
(14:42):
played basketball throughcollege, uh not through college,
through high school.
Uh still plays in pickup leaguesand things like uh pickup
league, pickup games as well asmen's leagues, and then um he
has gotten into running 10Ks andhalf marathons and gets into the
gym four or five days a week andhas a good group of friends that
also graduate from James Madisondown in the Charlotte area.
(15:04):
So he is uh he they're all threedoing, as I said, they're all
doing really well.
SPEAKER_05 (15:08):
Love it.
Well, the the family businessand staffing's taking shape.
Yeah, yeah, it's something.
Love it.
Well, ironically, my wife's atOrange Theory right now.
So there you go.
So uh that's a great workout.
SPEAKER_02 (15:20):
I loved it.
I did it for a long time.
SPEAKER_05 (15:23):
I did CrossFit for a
long time, and now I do old man
CrossFit, which is to not getfat and not get hurt, but I
found myself getting hurt.
I'm I have the worst freakingtennis golfers, some kind of
elbow issue going on right now,and I have no idea.
Like literally two days ago, Icouldn't even straighten my
elbow.
SPEAKER_03 (15:39):
Oh.
SPEAKER_05 (15:40):
I'm like, that's not
good.
And then and then the next dayit's fine, a little pain, but
but then it goes and then I'mjust getting like lightning down
my arm.
So I don't know if it's justlike really bad tendonitis or
they might they might need toamputate it, I think.
I don't know.
SPEAKER_02 (15:53):
So yeah, the things
that start creeping up on us as
we get a little older,especially after you know,
playing years of football orbasketball or whatever the sport
is, you know, the body startstaking a toll on various things.
SPEAKER_05 (16:06):
It's so frustrating.
It is.
It's just like, I mean, and I'mnow I remember hearing people
talk about this.
Now I'm that guy.
I'm almost 50, and now I'm notI'm that dude.
It's like, oh yeah.
Back in 82, you know, it'sstraight Uncle Rico stuff where
but I'm I'm not giving in.
I still like I still even thoughI can't work out like what I
want to do, I did a weightedvest walk this morning, did a
weighted vest plank workout.
(16:27):
It's like, is it what I want todo?
No, but it's better than most.
SPEAKER_02 (16:30):
Yeah, that's exactly
that's what I've relegated
myself to.
I don't run anymore, I don'tplay basketball anymore.
I'm knee preservation mode.
So I uh put on the weighted vestand I go for a walk with my
puppy and um get on the Pelotonand do some lightweight workout,
and that's about it.
SPEAKER_05 (16:47):
Okay, there we go.
All right.
Well, I want to learn about Johnuh the kid.
Take me back to what was lifelike growing up for you and the
impact mom and dad had on youfrom a values perspective.
SPEAKER_02 (16:58):
Yeah, really good.
Um so I grew up in a small townoutside of Pittsburgh, uh little
town called Latrobe,Pennsylvania.
There's a few things that thatlittle town is known for, um,
some famous things that it'sknown for.
One first professional footballteam was was born there in 1933.
Uh Arnold Palmer is fromLatrobe, Pennsylvania.
(17:18):
Mr.
Rogers is from Latrobe,Pennsylvania, as well as the
first banana split ever made.
And if you're a beer drinker,you probably had a rolling rock
or two.
That's where originally rollingrock was brewed.
So I grew up in that littlesmall town of 11,000 people.
Um, didn't spend my entiregrowing up there.
My dad was transferred quite abit, was not in the military,
(17:40):
um, but we moved around.
We spent uh when I was in secondgrade, we moved to LA for two
years.
Um, and it was just a two-yearstint.
He was sent out there to rebuilda plant that was struggling with
the company he was with.
We came back to La Trobe uh twoyears later.
So I was going into the fourthgrade at that time, went back to
(18:01):
the same house, sameneighborhood, same everything.
We didn't sell it.
We knew we were coming back.
And then um the first and onlyjob company change that my dad
had was me going into mysophomore year of high school.
He took a job with Siemens, anduh we moved to Toronto, Canada.
Not the thing that I wanted todo going into my sophomore year
(18:23):
uh was to you know be yanked outof high school for you know
being a basketball player.
We were projected to be a prettydarn good team.
Um and then uh we moved toToronto and uh finished high
school up there.
Uh I'm the youngest of two threebrothers, and uh so my older
brothers both graduated fromLatrobe High School.
(18:45):
Uh I graduated from MartinGrove, Martin Grove Collegiate
Institute in Toronto, Ontario.
Um but really good upbringing.
We were you know very fortunate.
We're a middle class, you know,upper middle class family, I
would say, in a greatneighborhood with a lot of good
families around us.
You know, all the things that uhyou probably find online right
(19:05):
now with you know, go out andplay, kick the can until the
bikes come on, or you know, whenyou hear the whistle blow,
that's when it's time to comehome, or whatever the case may
be.
We grew up in a neighborhoodlike that where the bikes are
running around the neighborhood,go off and do your thing.
And um, you know, we were wewere raised to have you know
respect for our elders and uhloyalty.
(19:26):
My dad changed companies once inin his lifetime.
Um I was with Tech Systems for20 years.
Um my brothers both worked forAlcoa for 20 years and both
worked for Novellas, bothaluminum companies, for another
10 to 12 years.
So there's you know, there's alot that goes on with that, and
um also taught us how to becompetitive and and and you
(19:51):
know, be on time.
Dad's yeah, to tell you a funnystory.
So dad passed away December oflast year, and um he uh he was a
stickler for being on time, andwhen this whole world of remote
virtual stuff started happening,it was hard for him to
comprehend.
Um, you know, just not beingface to face with people and
(20:12):
being able to touch them andshake their hands and run into
them in the hallway and have aquick conversation.
Um what's funny is that when hewould have a meeting, uh he
would lock the door at the timethe meeting started.
So if you were late, you weren'tgetting in.
What?
Yeah, and so you know, when itwas time for dinner and you
know, he was coming home fromwork and dinner was at 6 30, we
(20:35):
we needed to be there at 6 30.
And if we had a tea time, hewould take us out as kids to go
play golf.
We had a tea time, and the teatime was 8 10 in the morning.
He expected us to be there at 10minutes to eight, ready to go.
So oftentimes he would finishplaying his round with his
buddies, and then we'd be at thepool.
He would uh, you know, hey,we'll we'll go play nine with
(20:56):
just the kids.
And if we had a tea time at4:15, we needed to be on the tea
at 4 o'clock.
And if we weren't, Cart wasgone.
He was out.
So, you know, be on time, followthe rules, don't walk across my
putting line and uh rake thetrap.
There we go.
SPEAKER_05 (21:15):
Were you guys a big
golf family growing up?
SPEAKER_02 (21:18):
We were.
SPEAKER_01 (21:18):
Uh dad played every
weekend.
SPEAKER_02 (21:20):
Uh I started playing
when I was a little kid.
Uh I think we all did.
Um I stopped for a while when Iwas in high school uh just
because my friends in Torontojust weren't golfers, so I just
didn't play much when I was inhigh school.
Um, and in college for thatmatter, I think I was so focused
on both class and and you knowbasketball activities that I
just didn't play a whole lot ofgolf and then got back into it
(21:43):
post.
You can probably see behind methe couple of flags that I got
hanging there.
SPEAKER_05 (21:48):
I'm jealous.
Thanks for bringing it up again.
He's got a master's flag,everybody, hanging up, just
teasing me.
SPEAKER_02 (21:55):
Yeah, yeah.
Tell you a funny story, again, adad story.
Um, so I told you that ArnoldPalmer is from La Trope PA.
Well, dad is uh dad was friendswith him, um, was at uh his
second wedding, and was theywere at their his funeral um
when he passed.
And um, my dad was at themasters in 2006.
(22:17):
He was sitting on the board fora company in St.
Louis, and my brother took himto the Masters.
And so they're standing and youknow, the four the four kings
tee off as they always do,right?
And so they're walking from oneto two, my dad's standing on the
appropriate side behind theropes, and Arnie stops.
Now, picture this you got my dadstanding next to his customer
(22:38):
who he's sitting on the boardwith, right?
And then my brother, and thenhis customer, and Arnie walks by
and says, Hey Bill, how youdoing?
Stops and talks to him for like10 minutes.
And just what's been going on?
SPEAKER_01 (22:52):
Where you been?
When are you coming back toLatrobe?
When are we gonna be able tohang out again?
SPEAKER_02 (22:55):
And the customer's
mouth, as you can imagine, just
drops.
Like, what what just happened?
Like, how do you know him?
So um, yeah, they had a youknow, they had a relationship.
They were, you know, they usedto be at his house and hang out
with him and got a bunch ofpictures with him and all kinds
of fun stuff.
SPEAKER_05 (23:14):
So wow, how did they
meet?
SPEAKER_02 (23:17):
Because so Arnie's
um primary residence at the time
was Latrobe.
So that was his that was hiscourse.
Wow, yeah.
His his brother Deacon was thepro for the longest time at
Latrobe Country Club.
Okay.
Um, so that's dad, a little bitabout dad.
And then mom, you know,fortunate enough, mom stayed
(23:37):
home and raised us kids when dadwas traveling and working, and
yeah.
So she got us to and from allthe different sports events.
It was a little different backthen.
She'd get us to the bus stop,and then the bus would take us
to where we were going, and thebus would bring us back.
Yeah, back when they hadactivity buses.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, and we would just walkhome.
So yeah, mom was uh, you know,she is.
(24:00):
I actually just dropped her offat the airport this morning.
She's 90 years old, flying toNashville to go see my brother.
SPEAKER_05 (24:07):
Love it.
Yeah.
Out of curiosity, what date didyour dad pass away?
December 23rd.
My dad passed away December29th, 2021.
So I was gonna be like, this isgonna be eerie if it's the same
day.
SPEAKER_02 (24:20):
Yeah, it was uh you
know, it you know my brothers
and I talk about this fairlyfrequently.
If uh if you're gonna go, hewent the right way.
Um he was living a full life.
You know, they were on their wayout to dinner with friends of
theirs, and my mom was going toget the car to pull up and have
him hop in, and he kind of hefell down.
(24:42):
We took him to the hospital andum they ran some tests and kept
him in there for two for aboutfour days, sent him back to uh
the their in an assisted livingcenter, so they sent him back to
the nurse care center uh withinthe f within the place that they
live, and then um he was kind ofwandering around the hallways
and they had to send him backbecause his blood pressure had
(25:04):
dropped dramatically, and thentwo days later he passed away.
And so, you know, again, nothinggood about anybody passing, but
he was living a full life, andyou know, he kind of went out
without a six-month, nine-month,ten-month, two-year struggle of
you know, dealing with all ofthat.
So very fortunate that uh, youknow, I live close to my parents
(25:26):
and was able to have all theconversations I wanted to be
able to have and talk to my dadabout things, about life, about
you know challenges he and I hadgrowing up.
Um and uh very fortunate forthat.
So cool.
SPEAKER_00 (25:40):
Hi, this is Kathy
Ortone.
I'm the director of talentmanagement at Co-Work Staffing
Services.
Co-Works is one of the largeststaffing firms in the United
States.
With operations in all 50states, over 60,000 temporary
field talent.
We are devoted to the successand growth of our employees and
our clients.
We are celebrating our 50thanniversary this year and are
(26:01):
proud to have a legacy oftreating people the right way,
doing the right things,supporting our communities, and
putting field talent first.
Our team place is candidates andadministrative, like industrial,
full center, distribution,third-party logistics positions,
with the digital opportunitiesto our executive church,
creative staffing, and luxuryduty, and frequent decisions.
(26:22):
We have the first time case toofor a few presentation and
creating work towards you.
And I have to tell you what'sexceptional.
KC is funny, he is a few, and heis a full to fall.
What's Casey apart is that hereally walked the walk and loses
what he teaches.
He spent time with us outside ofthe workshop, really taking the
(26:43):
time to get to know our people.
He shared information about itspersonal life, about its family,
creating the foundation forauthentic relationships.
One of the core elements of thestrategy.
Casey left our teams feelingmotivated, energized, and armed
with the actionable tools totransform their sales
performance.
I cannot recommend Casey enoughto any or any organization
(27:06):
looking to grow and unlock theirfull potential.
If you want to learn more aboutcowork staffing, please visit
our website atcoworkstaffing.com.
Now let's get back to thepodcast.
SPEAKER_05 (27:16):
How um were you able
to be there with when he passed
by chance?
SPEAKER_02 (27:20):
Yeah, oh yeah.
We was uh my brothers both flewin, one's in Nashville, oldest
one's in Nashville, middle onesin Atlanta.
And um, you know, hey guys, youneed to get up here and be here
for as long as you can.
So um yeah, I was there everyday with my mom, and you know,
they were there when when theycould get there.
Um but yeah, they live uh momand dad live 15 minutes away
(27:43):
from me.
SPEAKER_05 (27:44):
Wow.
Yeah, that was the my dad, seemy dad passed away.
He's the only person I've everbeen around that's passed away,
other than a dog.
But um I mean last breath, I waswith him.
And it's surreal.
So surreal.
But like I don't know if you hadthis, but like I remember there
was like at one point my dadlike was so unfortunately he had
the opposite of what your dadwent through.
He had like Alzheimer'sdementia, heart failure, kidney
(28:07):
issues, alcoholism, bipolar.
I mean, he had the rap sheetrather, rap sheet.
And but at the end, all thatnegative and challenge and
stress and all these things kindof went away.
And I then I went from likebecause it was during COVID.
I remember at one point, like wehad you know, had mass selling
in the in the sister facility,and I remember he's kind of
like, he's kind of looking up.
(28:28):
And I go, and he couldn't reallycommunicate that well, but for
some reason, for about a week hecould.
I go, Dad, what what what areyou looking at?
He's like, he points, he pointsto his mom, my grandma, who I
did not know that well.
And I always joke, she was no,and I don't mean that to offend
anybody, I probably will anaccident, but she was a
Jehovah's Witness.
Talking about getting screwedout of birthday cards as a kid
growing up because Jehovah didJehovah's Day was so I'm like,
(28:49):
come on, grandma, you couldn'tlike wait till I got out of high
school, like hook a hook abrother up with a birthday card.
Anyway, I digress, but he sawher in the room.
Tripped me out.
She's I was like, is grandmahere?
She's like, Yep.
Any points?
I'm like, what in the hell?
And um, I mean, things like thatwere eerie.
And then I remember then at theend we couldn't talk.
(29:10):
I wrote on a little notepad ofmy phone.
I wrote, I said, you know, heydad, um, you know, God loves
you.
Cause I was like, he was inpain.
I was like, and I was we werestruggling.
I was like, Dad, just you gottago, brother.
Like it's time.
SPEAKER_03 (29:22):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (29:22):
Remember saying, God
loves you.
I said, you know, you can go,you you know, when you're ready,
go.
He's like, he looks at me, he'slike, I'm not ready yet.
Close, but not ready yet.
It was like the most eerieusfeeling ever to go through.
And then I remember like theycalled me like the morning he
passed away, and he was like, Wehad a snowstorm, of course,
nearly, and I just freak, Isaid, screw it, I'm going.
(29:44):
And got there with like 20minutes to spare.
And um I end up then after whenhe passed away, I was there, and
I end up when I got home.
I wrote, I just felt this urgeto write, and I wrote a little,
you know, blog, whatever youwant to call it.
It was called The Final Whistle.
It's kind of like a sports.
Metaphor.
I was like, I was there to thefinal whistle.
And then I said, screw, I'm inthat.
I I recorded it and uh it Ipublished it on this podcast.
(30:06):
So it's like it's like a12-minute, and um that was very
therapeutic to go through, butanyway, so I know it's this
podcast about you, but youinspired me to share that.
SPEAKER_02 (30:16):
Yeah, no, it's you
know, it's it's life, you know.
We we just as we get older,obviously our parents and things
start happening, and you know,being there for those moments is
really hard, but it is um youknow, these are the things that
continue to shape you, right?
There's things that shape uswhen we're kids that make us
into the young adults, and thenthere's things that shape us
when we're young adults thatmake us the wiser adults, I
(30:39):
think.
And then, you know, we we kindof revert back to being a kid
again and have somebody elsetake care of us.
Where did your um love ofbasketball come from?
Probably from my brother.
Um, so my my middle brother Tom,who lives in Atlanta, uh, he
played at St.
Bonaventure.
Uh, I played at Loyola inBaltimore, and uh he started
playing, and um I kind offollowed his footsteps to a
(31:02):
certain extent.
Um, two different styles the waywe played.
But you know, he was uh we werecompetitive with each other,
we're three years apart.
Um he would beat the live andtar out of me in the driveway on
a daily basis.
Um, and then all my friends, youknow, the kids that I grew up
with in that small town, we allplayed.
We were up at the middle, youknow, at the uh elementary
(31:23):
school parking lot where thebasketball court was every day.
And we would just play and playand play and go through shoes
like it was our job.
Um and I just fell in love withthe game.
And it was uh for the longesttime, it was the one place that
I knew I could get away, right?
Like just mentally, like nothingelse mattered.
(31:45):
I couldn't think about anythingelse, it was just playing
basketball.
Um, and so I, you know, I kindof followed along with what I
was learning from him, and hewas the town hero.
Uh, he was always in the paper.
He was, you know, he was uhplaying the Dapper Dan when he
was in high school, uh, backwhen that was a big time
(32:06):
tournament.
Um and so I wanted to emulatethat.
And um, you know, I had anopportunity.
I think probably one of the bestthings that happened to me was
that move that took me toToronto with my family.
Um, because then I wasn'tunderneath his shadow.
Nobody knew who he was.
I just it was just me.
And I had to figure it out on myown rather than oh, you're Tom's
little brother.
(32:27):
Um, but he would drag me down tothe pickup games that he would
go to.
He was, you know, a sophomore inhigh school, and I was three
years younger, and I'd go playagainst the older kids, and you
know, a little different thantoday's world where we try to
reclassify kids to go playingwith younger kids.
Um yeah, just fell in love withthe game and uh had a goal that
(32:47):
I wanted to play in college andwas able to accomplish that.
SPEAKER_05 (32:51):
So cool.
Um, so you go to the Great WhiteNorth.
Uh, had you watched Strange Brewat this point in your life?
SPEAKER_02 (32:58):
I have.
I had, yes.
SPEAKER_05 (33:00):
I have a fantastic
movie, by the way.
If you've not watched StrangeBrew, everybody go watch it.
It's actually probably one ofthe worst film movies ever, but
it's so funny if you have a badsense of humor like me.
Um, that journey of growth,which no one wants to move, you
move obviously the the blessingsthat you saw coming out of it.
As you reflect about now, as youreflect back now thinking about
(33:21):
it, um can you were you able topull any like life lessons or
learning experiences as a fatherthat maybe helped you as a dad?
SPEAKER_02 (33:30):
Yeah, uh, you know,
as a father, I think probably
the the concept of perseverancereally set in.
It was it was taught to us as akid, but I think I really
learned it while I was there.
And you know how to try toinstill that amongst my own
kids.
Um, you know, while I wasworking for tech systems, we
moved six times in a nine-yeartime frame.
(33:51):
Just going, you know, go fromone office to the other, leading
the sales team, so on and soforth.
And so my oldest had to move sixtimes.
And then the other, the otherswere less than that, but she
moved six times.
And, you know, the the challengeof making new friends and going
into a new school and trying outfor a new team, all of that was,
(34:13):
you know, put in mind overmatter.
And how do you help your kidsget through that?
And uh it's kind of hard for meto, it's hard for me to
comprehend those that have beenfortunate enough to live and
grow up in the same household,same town, never moved, all the
same friends, right?
And that's I can't, it's hardfor me to comprehend that.
(34:33):
Um, I'm at times jealous of it,and at times I'm I'm not because
I was able to learn so much fromdifferent cultures, different
people, diversity, um, differentenvironments that you're in.
I go from a small town of 11,000people in Latrobe, Pennsylvania,
which had very little diversity,to now I'm in Toronto, which is
(34:55):
a melting pot.
And it's a massive city.
And I had to figure out how tonavigate that.
And uh, you know, it's all thosethings can be applied to, you
know, when you're raising yourkids, and how do you help them
acclimate whether it's to a newschool that they're walking
into, a new town that we'reliving in, a new neighborhood
that we're going to, a collegethat they're going to go to, you
(35:17):
know, whatever it may be, agiant classroom that they're in
that they're used to having 20kids in, and now there's 150.
So how do you how do younavigate that?
And how do you focus andpersevere through the challenges
that are there?
SPEAKER_05 (35:28):
When you were moving
your family, um, I'm sure was at
times hard on the kids at times,you know, were you able to ever
like vulnerably share some ofyour challenges when you moved
as a kid to like kind of meetthem where they were in?
SPEAKER_02 (35:42):
For sure.
Yeah.
Um, you know, those moves thatwe went through, that I went
through, you know, again, Ithink I might have said this
earlier, that I did not want togo to Toronto, Canada.
I mean, I had some really goodfriends, and I probably was a
little bit humble when I saidthis, but we were projected the
class that we were a part of inthat small town were projected
(36:02):
to win the state championship bythe time we were juniors.
And they did.
And so knowing that they did,which is awesome, super happy
for all of them, um, but Iwanted to be a part of that.
SPEAKER_04 (36:13):
Yeah, sure.
SPEAKER_02 (36:14):
Um, and I, you know,
fought my parents and didn't
want to be a part of it.
And so when we were moving thekids around, we got to a point
where when they were in highschool, the moving stopped.
That that's when I startedsaying no.
I should have said no, probablytwo moves prior to that.
Um, but I didn't, as I waschasing, and you know, the next
(36:36):
opportunity, the next thing, thebigger office, the more, you
know, all the stuff that goeswith it.
Um, so I think the lesson thatwas there is um, especially with
the kids, as they start enteringinto you know, relationships,
and you know, especially myoldest, you know, she's gonna
start having kids at some point.
And you know, when is it, whendo you settle?
When do you just settle down?
(36:57):
And this is where things aregonna be.
And um, you know, I think thatthat to me was one of the bigger
lessons to learn is that when Istarted saying no is when, you
know, I started really startingfiguring out where's where's the
priority, what am I doing, wherewhere are things going?
The next move was supposed to beAtlanta, and I said no.
And that was when my 20 yearscame to an end.
SPEAKER_05 (37:20):
Wow.
Wow.
Well, good for you though, dude,because I know that um it's not
easy to do that.
Um I I I I would didn't havethat many opportunities to move.
I had one, I said no.
Um, I remember saying no early,even to like, because I was so
stressed out as a dad, John.
Where I I don't I've sort ofapologize for everybody, you
(37:40):
probably heard the story before.
I don't know if you have, butlike year one or two when I was
really starting to make a run atK Force, I was miserable as a
dad because I was getting home.
I only saw my kids for like 15minutes a night.
I'm like, this is awful.
How how it and I get that somepeople that's what you have to
do, and but for some reason thisvoice in my head said, This is
not how it should be.
(38:00):
And I remember going to my bossand thank God Angela Ronica, if
you're listening, girl, she'slike, leave it for.
And I'm like, I can't.
I said bank, leave it for.
Like, she's like, You don'ttrust us?
I said, Yeah, I do.
She's like, then leave it for.
We you're on your thing, it'scalled a cell phone, we can
recheck.
And that's where my career wenthockey stick because I had
balance.
(38:21):
And I was present and bold.
And sure there were stays withCharles, I'm sure it was not
balanced, balance per se, but Icould go, you know, you said you
said the phrase checkout, youknow, when you're playing Who.
I remember when I was young,young dad coaching my kids, no
one could reach me from 5, 6:30.
SPEAKER_02 (38:41):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (38:41):
It was the best
feeling ever.
SPEAKER_02 (38:43):
Yeah, the phone gets
left, right?
When you're coaching your kids,the phone gets left.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um, it's funny that you know,you talk about that stigma of
leave early, right?
And I think that's where youknow today's world, they've
figured that out.
And I think obviously some ofthat was forced through the
pandemic and you know, peoplehaving a little bit more
flexibility in what they can do.
But the stigma, especially inthe staffing world that we were
(39:06):
in, of leaving at four, when youknow the perception was peak
call time was when people weregetting home from work to be
able to get a hold of candidatesto be able to put them to work.
Yeah.
So, right.
I mean, we we all remember thosedays.
And so the stigma from yourpeers was more the issue than it
was anybody on leadership thatwas saying, yeah, man, go.
(39:28):
Go go do your thing.
SPEAKER_05 (39:30):
Right.
Yeah, it's funny how, I mean,and definitely times change, and
there's so many things we wentthrough that are gonna be
helpful, like even what your dadwent through and your mom went
through it.
Like, we can take bits a pieceof these journeys, um, be open
to change, but some of thesefundamentals that they taught us
are still gonna work.
You know, and and we're in thiswe're in this phase of AI, and
(39:52):
I'm still betting on this, John.
I'm still betting on this humanconnection that uh Me too.
It's so either I joked withsomeone last week, I said,
either I'm gonna be in a vandown by the river, because I use
AI, but I still believe that AIcan't replicate what you and I
are doing right now.
SPEAKER_02 (40:06):
That's exactly
right.
The relationship can't be builtthrough AI.
And what it's doing is it's it'simpeding critical thinking.
Yeah.
I talk about this all the timewhen I'm with clients that I'm
working with, that people willsay, Hey, you know, can we
create trap setting questions ordiscovery questions through
through AI?
(40:27):
You absolutely can until you'resitting in front of the customer
and you need to come up with aquestion on the spot.
And then what do you do?
Hey, excuse me, Mr.
and Mrs.
Customer, hold on one second.
I have to go to Copilot rightnow and put in what you just
said so I can ask you the nextquestion.
So you can have some starterquestions by leveraging AI, and
(40:47):
you can have some starterinformation by leveraging AI,
but the relationship is stillgang.
Yeah.
And the ability to think on thefly and critically think is the
power.
SPEAKER_05 (40:59):
When you were
raising your kids, you maybe
think about when you wereraising your kids, John.
Um, did you ever apply likeTED-based questions that we both
are taught to your kid on yourkids?
SPEAKER_02 (41:10):
It's funny.
Um, yes.
Uh, and it it's something I talkagain, I talk about this all the
time when I'm with withdifferent clients that I'm
working with.
Is you know, when we ask thequestions, and I and I and I
learned this through myrelationship with John Kaplan,
is that when we ask thequestion, you pick up your kids
from school, and you know, assoon as they get in the car, how
(41:31):
was school?
Good.
You have any homework?
No.
How was your test today?
Good.
You think you passed?
Yeah.
And so you ask these questions,you get grunts in a response.
And so when I'm working on, youknow, when I when I'm talking to
my kids, I try to, you know, Ido, I try to try, I think it's
more innate at this point whereI ask, tell me about or explain
(41:52):
to me, or describe to me whatthe hardest question on your
test was, or explain what thefunniest thing that happened to
you today was.
Um, and try to enter theconversation a different way.
And again, I'll equate this backto what I'm working with.
Some of the clients that I'mworking with, you know, don't,
you know, this is a great thingto practice at home.
If you're trying to figure outhow to coach one of your sellers
(42:14):
on discovery questions, startasking open-ended questions to
your significant other, to yourkids, to your parents, to your
nieces and nephews, whoever itis, and see how the results
change in the questions thatyou're asking.
And so, yeah, I I am in aregular habit of asking the
TED-based questions, tellexplain, describe, walk me
(42:35):
through with my with my kids,even as adults now, um, because
they'll still, they can stillgrunt an answer back.
It's like cheat codes.
SPEAKER_05 (42:45):
That's right.
Cheat codes.
Um, the the the wise Voltaire,um, back in the calling of
1500s, I think he might havebeen a sexist, someone helped
him out.
One of my favorite quotes, hesaid, A man or a woman is not
judged by his or her answers,but by his or her questions.
So in the 1500s, or closeenough, whatever, but I don't,
(43:05):
I'm sure there's a history majorout there who's gonna call me
out.
No, it's 1486, close enough.
Okay.
Um curiosity still worked,everybody.
Yet like the the questions youasked your kids in the
beginning, which are the samequestions I asked my kids before
I learned about Ted, those arebad questions, closed-ended, not
authentic, not genuine.
And I what I even learned, I Ikind of took a different set.
(43:27):
I even put um like what Johntaught me the give to, take to.
I put that into Ted.
And so I said, Hey writer, heyRud, tell me one thing that made
you smile at school day.
When you when you put a numberin the question, I found them
they have to give you something.
Because even sometimes if it'stoo loose of a tech question,
they can still blow by you.
But for some reason, the humanmind, when these when they hear
a number, they go to the answer.
(43:49):
And it gives you and us a chanceto say, oh great, tell me more
about that.
Explain why that was.
SPEAKER_02 (43:54):
That's exactly
right.
SPEAKER_05 (43:55):
Yeah, and it is
freaking gold.
SPEAKER_02 (43:58):
100%.
unknown (43:59):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (44:00):
And I love the
question that you just asked
because it wasn't about anythingexcept what made you laugh,
which gets your son or daughtermore engaged in the
conversation, then talk aboutthe test you just took.
They don't want to talk aboutthe test they just took.
Yeah, they do want to talk aboutwhat made them laugh.
SPEAKER_05 (44:21):
Right.
Or I sometimes one question Iused to ask, like, hey, tell me
if you could change one thingabout school that would make
school the best place to goeverywhere.
More recess, great.
Tell me why.
What would you do?
The next thing you know, we'rewe're talking.
And um, if there's a dad or momat home listening right now, and
you don't know what Ted Bay'squestion is, John just he he
(44:42):
went into it, which is hands fortell me, explain, describe.
I learned this from the greatJohn Kaplan and his team.
And I feel like I'm a discipleof that now, sharing it with the
world.
So I'm great, I am forevergrateful for that.
Um and uh you know, I thinkthese are my my hope is that
when dads or moms listen tothese pot these episodes, it's
like we're not making this stuffup, you know, we're we're
sharing journeys of where westruggled, and and you know,
(45:06):
just because I have a podcastthat says the quarterback dad
cast, I I struggle each andevery day as a dad.
Yeah, I get anxiety, I getfrustrated.
I I selfishly, everybody, thisis for free therapy for me every
time I talk about fatherhood.
SPEAKER_02 (45:19):
It is the hardest,
you know, being whether mother,
father, hardest job.
There is no manual on how to doit.
Every day there are mistakes.
Yeah.
Every day you wish there's wordsthat you could bring back and
put them right back in yourmouth again.
Um, but that's how you learn.
You learn, you know, said thisbefore, that you learn from some
of the mistakes that you makeand uh you try not to make them
(45:42):
again.
SPEAKER_05 (45:43):
Yeah.
Um, if you were to likesummarize or think through,
John, the um the top, I call itthree values that you and your
wife when you guys were togetherraising the kids that were
really important to you, thatyou know, maybe a dad or mom was
listening at home, they'd belike, hmm, I never thought about
that one.
Like, what were the what werethe values that really stood out
(46:04):
to you that really shaped andproduced you know three very
successful kids that arethriving right now?
SPEAKER_02 (46:11):
I I think um I don't
know if I could do it in three
words.
I think one of them is um followthrough on your commitments,
right?
So it's that perseverance,right?
Like continue to follow throughthe things that you commit to
do.
So you know if you're gonna ifyou're gonna run if you're gonna
say you're gonna run crosscountry, which the kids did, it
(46:33):
wasn't their first choice, butyou're gonna finish the season.
SPEAKER_03 (46:38):
So finish what you
say that you're gonna do.
SPEAKER_02 (46:41):
Um loyalty, right?
Have you be loyal to the thingsthat you do.
I mean, again, all three kidsfinished the schools they
started at and were able to staytrue to that.
Uh all have been in, uh two ofmy kids have been in uh per you
know, one's engaged, butrelationships, and they're you
know, they've been in a coupleof good relationships with
(47:01):
people that just have goodcharacter, and I think that's
the other word is is charactermatters.
Um you know, the the kids thatthey hung out with, they they
chose the right kids.
Um and we ended up having goodfriends with their parents,
right?
You know, just meeting goodpeople.
(47:22):
And um, you know, like myoldest, her closest group of
friends not only went to NCState with her together, but
many of them went to high schoolwith her.
And so you think about that,usually high school goes to, you
know, they split off fromcollege and then there's a whole
new group of friends.
Um, you know, and and I couldsay the same thing for the other
two.
(47:42):
They've just got a good group offriends that they can rely on
and trust.
You know, my daughter that's inArlington, Virginia, she's you
know, some of her teammates,they're super close.
And uh, you know, they livetogether for four years and they
stay together and visit eachother on a regular basis and
confide in each other and talkto each other.
And then my son's got a greatgroup of friends, not only from
(48:03):
high school, but a new group offriends that he has met through
James Madison that is just agood group of kids.
That uh I like being around, allof them, like just their group
of friends that they have.
I enjoy being around them justbecause of the camaraderie, the
character that they have, thecommitment that they have
towards each other, yeah, theway they look out for each
(48:23):
other.
So I think you know, thatcharacter, perseverance, and
what was the other word I saidthere?
The commitment.
Um loyalty, you said too.
Yeah, the loyalty.
And you know, those things are,you know, even though mom and I
weren't able to work things out,um, you know, again, blessed
that the kids have picked up onthose things and and that's
important to them.
(48:43):
And the last thing I'll say thatthat I was late to this, Casey,
and it's something that hasbecome highly important to me,
uh, their faith.
Their faith is very important.
They, you know, they when wewere as we've lived in Raleigh
for the 20 years we've livedhere, they went to a Catholic
school, both uh elementary,middle, and and high school.
(49:03):
And so their faith is importantto them.
Um it became important to me aswe went through our separation.
Um, I was late to the game, um,but now it is a critical part of
my life and uh where Iprioritize things.
Um, and that's been I saidthere's a couple of significant
changes.
That was one of the significantchanges.
(49:25):
Um, you know, not only did Imake a complete about face in my
career, but I also took acomplete about face in my faith
and uh got baptized as an adult.
SPEAKER_05 (49:35):
Very cool.
SPEAKER_02 (49:36):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (49:37):
I, you know, it's
funny, faith is I wouldn't say
it's um, I I I I don't want tosay this.
I don't go to church, notbecause I don't want to go to
church.
I'm just I'm a very spiritualguy though.
Big time.
Like I look at a Bible scriptureevery morning.
Some days I have no idea what itmeans.
Some days I'm like, ooh.
Yeah.
Um, I do gratitude work everymorning, and the first line
every is God, thanks for wakingme up today.
(49:58):
Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_02 (49:59):
If you hit the
ground, it's a good day.
SPEAKER_05 (50:02):
What a start.
I got a chance.
Um, and I had one of my like youwere in my gratitude work this
morning.
I'm like, I'm grateful I havethis podcast.
I'm grateful I get to talk toJohn, grateful I get to learn
more about him, grateful, youknow, just to learn and um
grateful to have a chance to bea better dad today.
Like I just I put speak truthinto my mind to try to like
figure out, you know, be thebest version of me.
(50:22):
But I think like faith is Idon't know.
Have you ever seen the movie umor the show Um The Righteous
Gemstones?
SPEAKER_02 (50:30):
Uh that's the Adam
Sandler.
SPEAKER_05 (50:32):
No, it's um John
Gooden.
John no it's I mean it's alittle raunchy and a little out
there, you know, but I think forme, I love like where I'm at
with like, and I'm readingactually a great book too.
I think I asked you about youknow Steve Garrety?
SPEAKER_02 (50:47):
Yep.
SPEAKER_05 (50:48):
Yeah, so I'm reading
Steve's book right now,
Grapefruit.
And Steve was a guest, and solike I'm learning about his
faith journey, you know, goingthrough cancer.
And um I think the the thereligion and spirituality, I I
want to be like everyone's gottheir own version of faith.
I don't think anybody's right.
And like my kids, I I alwaysmight like talk to God, He's
(51:09):
listening.
Like, and the best part aboutprayer is like it's you can't
get it wrong, just be genuine,be yourself, and that's exactly
right.
SPEAKER_02 (51:18):
Be consistent.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (51:21):
Um, so that's cool
that you're you're you're doing
that, and um it's it this kindof ties back, you know.
SPEAKER_02 (51:28):
The it while all of
that was happening from 17
through 23, a lot of negativethoughts, a lot, right?
You can imagine all the thingsthat can be running through your
mind.
You've talked to enough peopleand probably have friends that
have gone through it,unfortunately.
And um it's what's kept megrounded, you know.
It it's that relationship andconversation that I have with
(51:50):
God that allows me to have thebelief or the the knowledge that
all these negative thoughts thatare running through my head
aren't true.
Right?
That and the phrase that I sayto myself all the time is let go
and let God.
SPEAKER_03 (52:08):
Love it.
And that's gold right there.
SPEAKER_02 (52:11):
Just just let it go
and let God.
And um it it's gotten me throughand will continue to get me
through the the the peaks andthe valleys, you know, don't get
too high, don't get too low.
Oh, you know, I uh it's it's gotme through it all.
SPEAKER_05 (52:27):
Uh have you ever
heard the stat on how many
thoughts we have a day ashumans?
SPEAKER_02 (52:31):
I have, and I can't
remember it off the top of my
head, but it's a lot.
SPEAKER_05 (52:35):
You want to take a
guess?
SPEAKER_02 (52:36):
Um it is what do I I
want to say it's like 74,000
something.
SPEAKER_05 (52:44):
Yeah, I I've heard,
I mean, there's different stats.
I've heard between um 80 to90,000.
SPEAKER_02 (52:49):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (52:50):
And of those
thoughts, do you know the
percent that's negative?
About 80.
75 to 85.
SPEAKER_02 (52:55):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (52:56):
So like I share that
stat with sales teams all the
time.
I share it with my kids all thetime.
Once you know that to be true,then you know you don't have to
believe those things.
And so, like, I joke with mykids when I've also shared this
with like clients I end upcoaching this, I'll say, When
that negative thought comes tomind, I want you to think about
it as visual.
Feel free to steal this if youwant.
Imagine you're on a bridge.
(53:17):
I said this to my kids, I'll sayit's like sales leaders, I said,
imagine you're on a bridge.
And on this bridge, it's a it'syou know, you're it's only about
a half mile long and it's oldschool.
There's a bridge operator.
And he or she, and it's deadstop traffic, you can't go
anywhere.
But he or she, it's like it'slike that this is the test,
emergency broadcast, hit yourradio, and they say, Hey, just
want to let you know, the bridgeis fine.
(53:39):
Uh we're gonna dead stoptraffic, but it's only for 10
seconds and we'll be moving.
I said, So in that moment,what's the likelihood that
you're gonna roll your windowdown?
Old school, not press thebutton, but roll your window
down, and you're gonna look toyour left or look to your right
and introduce yourself to thecar next to you.
And the person's like, Well, no,why would I do that?
I go, exactly.
But that's the car to your leftand car to your right, that's a
(54:01):
negative thought.
I want you to extend both middlefingers and just put them up
like this, say, I ain't talkingto you, I ain't listening to
you.
And stay focused on the taskhead, focus on what you want to
do, focus on what you believeyou will do, which is one of the
most underrated words in life.
Thank you to John Kaplan forfreaking enlightening that,
firing me.
Um, that now I've I share withmy kids all the time.
(54:22):
I always say, believe what youdo matters.
Believe.
Believe what you do matters.
That's right.
That I mean, that is such a goalthat if kids can hear that from
their parents, whether you're inmath or ceramics or freaking
barista at Starbucks.
unknown (54:36):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (54:36):
Be the best.
Believe you're the best.
SPEAKER_02 (54:39):
When you're when
your son or any of your kids,
right, when they go off and theydo their what it's a test,
competitive golf, whatever itis, what are the last words you
say to them?
SPEAKER_05 (54:49):
I love you.
SPEAKER_03 (54:51):
Yep.
SPEAKER_05 (54:52):
I just I said be
your best.
Don't be the best, be your best.
SPEAKER_02 (54:57):
Yeah, there's uh
before the kids would play,
there was um kind of a phrasethat I would say to them before
every game or wherever they wereheaded.
Have fun, work hard.
I love you.
There you go.
That was it.
And it was whether it was a textmessage to my daughter in
college or it was a text messageto my son when he was, you know,
(55:18):
finishing up his classes, or mydaughter when he finished up his
classes in high school, theywould get that text, or they'd
get a voicemail, or they wouldhear from me directly.
You know, have fun, work hard.
I love you.
SPEAKER_05 (55:31):
Consistency.
Your parents taught you that.
Now you're you're you're you'resetting the elevator back down,
brother.
SPEAKER_02 (55:37):
Love it.
Well, you know, it's funny.
Uh I'm not really sure myparents said that to me before
every game.
Usually when I would come out ofa game, my dad would say to me,
He's like, Yeah, that's great.
You had 22 points.
The guy you recovered had 20, soyou're only good for two points
to your team.
What are you gonna do next time?
I think I was doing theopposite.
SPEAKER_05 (55:57):
Oh, well, uh I I
think what you did though is
what people, dads can can learnfrom and emulate.
And I think it's the consistencyof how we show up and
remembering that like we I'vehad a lot of episodes about
this, John.
It's like we can't livevicariously through our kids.
It's their journey, not ours.
Uh, and doing what you just did.
I mean, you could have beenlike, oh, you know, basketball,
(56:18):
this and psycho intense.
Um, but it's like you'refocusing on those things that
matter.
And um and life's a journey,right?
And I think we're all goingthrough it, this journey
together.
There's to your point, there'sno manual, there's no script.
Um, but I think what I'mlearning a lot of this
conversation just think true tobeing curious, thinking true to
(56:39):
being your authentic self.
Um, when we go through thesestruggles, you got faith, which
is always gonna be there foryou.
You got friends.
You don't need to have amicrophone and podcast to talk
about this stuff, everybody.
SPEAKER_02 (56:50):
That's right.
SPEAKER_05 (56:51):
Phones still work.
Pick if you're struggling, pickup the phone.
Call somebody.
Hey man, I'm struggling.
Can you help me out?
Yeah.
And if the friends, if they'reyour friends, they'll help you.
SPEAKER_02 (57:00):
Yeah.
If more people did that in theworld we're in today, we'd be in
a different place.
Not we internalize, we hold onto it, and then you know, we see
what we see on the news and readwhat we read online.
And, you know, it's it's uh ifwe pick up the phone and just
say, Hey man, I need some help.
Can you help me?
Yeah, that takes vulnerabilityand courage to do that.
SPEAKER_05 (57:21):
And we're all
struggling.
That's exactly right.
We are all struggling,everybody.
Like, and just because that'swhy I love it.
I have a love-hate relationshipwith social media.
Social media makes everything,oh my god, it's the best.
We're all doing great.
No, we're not.
No, we're not.
Everyone has some struggles, andum I think these are things,
important lessons to teach ourkids.
It's like it's easy to text, butpicking up the phone, and like,
(57:44):
for example, here's anotherlesson I got last night.
I love it.
We'll tie this up, we'll wrap upreal quick.
Um, so the reason why my son'splaying golf in college was our
former golf pro opened up a doorfor him at he's going to school
at school school called SouthernOregon.
Hey, kind of an under theunder-the-radar guy, good
family.
(58:05):
I like his dad.
Uh if you give his kid a chance,he'll come play for you.
I was like, God, I've got a lotof pressure in my mind.
I'm like, shit, I hope.
And knock on wood, thankfully,it's working out great.
He he saw something in my sonthat I didn't see as much.
And so I'm like telling Ryderlast night, I said, Hey, great
first tournament.
That was a blast watching you.
I go, who tell me who you thinkwe need to be grateful for.
(58:28):
Went through a list and I said,Who else?
I kept asking Ted Bay'squestion, tell me who else.
Tell me he's like, Mr.
Manley.
I said, Great idea.
And where I was a member of asole member of this club, the
kid they were he was big intocalling moms and dads Mr.
and Mrs.
Old School.
And uh, and he still does it,writer still does it.
So he's like, Yeah, a good idea,the automatic.
I'm like, oh, it was your idea,you thought of it.
(58:50):
Now, you know, that's the powerof Ted.
You make other people's idea.
That's right.
Exactly.
And but again, don't getconfused, everybody listen, it's
not manipulation.
Because I challenge John this.
It's only if you that's why yougot to believe what you do
matters.
If you believe what you domatters, you will not try to
(59:10):
convince people that they don'twant to do something because
that's what selling isvalue-based selling is helping
them see a problem they don'tknow exists, and they're gonna
solve solve themselves.
SPEAKER_03 (59:18):
That's exactly
right.
That's exactly right.
SPEAKER_05 (59:22):
Um, I could talk to
you for three more hours,
brother, but I know that's notpossible.
Um let's I've I've I'vementioned force management
multiple times.
Um, we've mentioned John.
Um, I want to make sure salesteams and companies know how to
find you and learn more about.
I've experienced it, but for thepeople listening home, there
might be some business dads.
Talk about what force managementdoes.
(59:44):
How can people learn more aboutyou and get in touch with you?
SPEAKER_02 (59:46):
Yeah, great.
So, force management, we uh wehelp companies, individuals
accelerate sales performance ina nutshell, is what we do.
We work with organizationsaround the globe, uh developing
elite sales teams and tomorrow'sleaders.
And helping them getcross-functional alignment
across customized programs toaccelerate revenue platforms to
(01:00:08):
help them grow.
And Force Management's beendoing this for over 25 years
now.
And I've been blessed to be acustomer of theirs back in 2005.
And now I'm working for them.
And the best way to find us,forcemanagement.com.
I can be reached at John.boneyat forcemanagement.com.
(01:00:32):
We love helping organizationsget to the next level of
performance that they're lookingfor.
And yeah, looking forward to anyway we can help anybody and
apply some of the philosophiesand theories that we have around
getting command of your messageand selling on value.
SPEAKER_05 (01:00:50):
If you're an
executive and this is where like
I can't do what you guys dobecause you guys can scale at
massive.
I'm more of a one-man band doingmy thing.
I would I am your champion.
I'm selling on your behalf.
I have a best interest in yoursuccess, be successful because
I've seen it.
And uh I well, I shouldn't say Ihave power and influence because
I'm a one-man band, but uh,those are the three components
(01:01:12):
of a champion.
John, if you're Mr.
Kaplan, I'm still I can stillspeak your truth.
Um but I I hope people check youguys out.
Um, I I'm a huge fan.
Um, I think what you guys aredoing is so important for
specifically right now, wherethere's too many people who are
transactional, which is why Iwrote the book that was in my
mind for a long time.
(01:01:32):
But I think relationshipsmatter, and our kids need to
learn about relationships, andyounger sellers need to learn
about and even older sellersneed to learn about
relationships.
And not if you're not even insales, everybody needs to have
relationships.
Finance, the freakingmanufacturing team to
janitorial, it don't matter.
Relationships are everything inlife.
SPEAKER_02 (01:01:52):
Relationships are
king, and you know, when we're
talking about selling, customersare buying what's valuable to
them, not features andfunctions.
Spot on.
SPEAKER_05 (01:02:03):
Um, all right, man.
We're gonna go into thelightning round where I show you
now the negative hits of takingtoo many hits in college, not
bong hits, but football hits.
Okay.
Your job is to answer thesequestions as quickly as you can.
My job is to try to get a giggleout of you.
All right.
Okay.
Uh first question softballArgonauts or Steelers?
Steelers.
Okay, the Seahawks are playingthe Steelers this weekend.
(01:02:26):
Hawks 84, Steelers six.
True or false?
False.
Probably agree that one.
Uh true or false.
I was in the it was in Detroitwhen the Seahawks lost to your
beloved Steelers.
SPEAKER_02 (01:02:40):
True.
SPEAKER_05 (01:02:41):
That was true.
Uh, true or false, I partiedwith a guy that had a uh
Malafala week, a Palomalo Week.
True.
He did, he made me put it on.
Great guy.
We actually just when we checkedinto our hotel in Toledo, Ohio,
uh, it said, Welcome to SteelerCountry with a banner that led
down two floors.
Guess how many Seahawk fans werethere?
(01:03:02):
17.
Two, me and my buddy.
Not fun experience.
And everybody from Pittsburghwas like, dude, what are you
doing here?
I'm like, my boys are playing inthe Super Bowl.
First time ever.
I wouldn't miss it.
And they're like, What?
They couldn't believe that wewere there.
So it was such a coolexperience.
If I came to your house fordinner tonight, what would we
have?
Uh steak on the grill.
SPEAKER_03 (01:03:23):
Okay.
Last book salad, probably acouple cold beers.
Okay.
Uh, last book you read was umThe Art of a Salesman.
SPEAKER_05 (01:03:35):
Okay.
Favorite 80s comedy movie is?
Favorite 80s Fletch.
Six four, the Afro?
Yep.
Got your little fist up there,Doc?
That's right.
Oh, I love Fletch.
Um, if you were to take yourkids, all three of them, dad's
dad's buying.
(01:03:56):
We're going on a vacation, justthe for you.
Where are you going?
SPEAKER_02 (01:03:59):
Vale, Colorado.
SPEAKER_05 (01:04:00):
Okay.
Um, have you seen Better OffDead?
SPEAKER_02 (01:04:04):
I have not, no.
SPEAKER_05 (01:04:06):
There's a great
there's a great ski reference.
I always mention people who ski.
It's called Ski in the K-12.
And his advice, it was rememberBooger from Avengers the Nerds?
Yeah.
I forgot.
I think his name's um Dudley,not Dudley Dawson.
I can't remember his name inreal life.
Maybe it is Dudley Dawson.
He said, Here's my advice.
I want you to go really fast.
If something gets in your way,turn.
(01:04:26):
That was the skiing advice,which is absolutely ridiculous,
but funny.
SPEAKER_02 (01:04:30):
Um that's that's a
good advice.
Way you should turn.
Stop or turn.
One of the two.
Fall down.
SPEAKER_05 (01:04:36):
Uh, there was to be
a book written about your life.
Tell me the title.
SPEAKER_02 (01:04:40):
Oh, that's a
question I gotta think about.
Um The Trials and Tribulation ofJohn.
SPEAKER_05 (01:04:49):
I love it.
Uh from the heart and authentic.
Okay, now, John, you won'tbelieve this, but I do.
Uh, Amazon can't print enoughcopies, Barnes Noble can't keep
enough copies, every airport isfreaking selling copies left and
right.
Um, Phil Donahue, Oprah, rest inpeace, um, Ricky Lake, Mori
Povich, they're all fighting foryou.
(01:05:10):
So now uh Hollywood's gonna say,Screw, we're making a movie out
of this thing.
And you're the casting director.
I need I need to know whatHollywood star is gonna star the
one only John Boney in thiscritically acclaimed hit-who
movie.
SPEAKER_02 (01:05:23):
Well, you know, I
think it's appropriate now
because he's lost so muchweight.
I mean, you gotta find some fitbald guy.
So let's go with Dwayne Johnson.
SPEAKER_05 (01:05:31):
Let's go.
The rock.
I see it.
I see it.
Um and then last, last, lastquestion.
Um, tell me, tell me two wordsthat would describe John's
mindset right now as a dad.
SPEAKER_02 (01:05:47):
Two words that
describe my mindset.
Um motivated and sincere.
SPEAKER_05 (01:05:55):
Love it, man.
Love it.
Lightning round's over.
Um, I I could talk to youforever.
I'm so grateful our Paslo Cross.
I'm so grateful that you umaccepted because I found John
via the wide world of the uh thepodcast world.
Um grateful for Rachel formaking introduction.
I'm grateful for you foraccepting LinkedIn invite and
grateful for spending an hourwith me and talking about some
(01:06:15):
about stuff that matters.
Um, once I get this elbowfigured out, man, I would love
to meet you on a golf course.
SPEAKER_02 (01:06:21):
Yeah.
Uh I love you.
It's been fantastic.
Really appreciate it.
SPEAKER_05 (01:06:25):
No, you've been
you've been fantastic.
I'll make sure everything is uhconnected in the show notes.
If you have not taken time,everybody, um, please go out and
and just get on your phone,wherever you listen to these
podcast apps, and just find away to leave a review.
It's pretty self-in, uh, prettyeasy.
The more uh engaging we can geton these social platforms, the
more that we can help inspireand help another dad out there.
(01:06:46):
And I think guys like John orwhy your story are why I'm doing
this.
Uh, I I feel better than I'veever, I mean, I felt better than
I did this morning.
Not because I didn't feel bad,but I just you've you've
inspired me, John.
And so I've been grateful foryou and sharing your story.
And um again, appreciateeverybody's support at home and
thank you guys for listening.
And I look forward to seeing youguys next week on another
(01:07:07):
episode of the QuarterbackDeadcast.
SPEAKER_02 (01:07:09):
Very good.
Thank you.