October 17, 2023 • 50 mins
Have you ever wondered how your upbringing and identity shape your financial journey? My guest, financial planner Melissa Gonzalez, shares her inspiring story of shifting from viewing money as a negative force to understanding it as a tool for empowerment and opportunity. Raised in a predominantly female household, Melissa provides a unique perspective on the impact of family and identity on one’s financial journey.
Melissa openly discusses her experiences as a queer woman in the financial industry, highlighting the importance of leading with identity. She offers valuable insights on overcoming the fear surrounding finances and approaching goals with an abundance mindset. Her candid reflections on her own experiences of workplace challenges post coming out as lesbian, and her journey to financial confidence, will leave you feeling inspired and empowered.
In the latter part of our episode, we focus on the financial challenges unique to the queer community. Melissa shares her wisdom around topics such as estate planning, adoption, emergency funds and workplace harassment. She also offers practical advice for budgeting, financial planning, and finding a financial advisor who understands your unique needs. Plus she answers the big question: 'Do you need to invest in real estate in order to create financial freedom?' Trust me, you won’t want to miss Melissa’s empowering story and tips for planning a better financial future. Join us to overcome your financial fears and leave feeling confident.
Connect with Melissa:
melissagonzalez.nm.com
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Instagram: @melissagonzalezofficial
Email: melissa.gonzalez@nm.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Coach Alex Ray (00:00):
Hello, my unicorns, I am so excited to
have you back for anotherspecial guest episode.
Today I have with me on thepodcast Melissa Gonzalez.
She is a financial planner andtoday she is going to help us
figure out our finances, getthings jujjed up and plan for
our financial futures.
So welcome to the QueerConfidence podcast, Melissa.
Melissa Gonzalez (00:22):
I love it.
I love it.
Thanks so much for having me,Alex Glad to be here.
Coach Alex Ray (00:25):
You're welcome.
Thanks for being here with us.
Melissa Gonzalez (00:28):
Of course, of course.
Coach Alex Ray (00:29):
All right, we have a lot of questions to cover
and we've got questions fromthe audience too.
So before we get to all of thequestions, I want to know a
little bit more about yourbackground, your financial
upbringing and kind of thelessons you've gone through
personally.
Melissa Gonzalez (00:45):
Yeah, taking me way back now, alex.
So I am born and raised in SanDiego.
I have three sisters.
I grew up in a household filledwith women Three sisters, my
mom, my grandma, even our dogs,our pets were always female, so
it's very female dominanthousehold.
(01:07):
And we grew up in a very I thinkI shared this with you, I think
over coffee, one time where wetalked about how I grew up in a
very humble upbringing, economicupbringing, and we didn't have
much.
However, we had a lot ofsupport from other people.
I am so like the schools thatwe attended.
(01:27):
My mom volunteered to help ushave a private education growing
up, which I really do believeplayed a significant role in how
we grew up.
And because of the area that wegrew up in, was it maybe the
best, the best, just the bestarea?
And growing up, money wassomething that we just never
(01:49):
really talked about.
We kind of shied away about it.
And money if you had a lot ofmoney, it was kind of eluded
that you were maybe a bad personwhere it was kind of evil to
have money.
Coach Alex Ray (02:03):
So growing up with that same message.
Melissa Gonzalez (02:05):
Yeah, yeah, and that happens often and it
also depends on the depends onyour upbringing and the culture,
things like that.
And for a very long time Istruggled with that growing up,
that what did I not have?
And then again, growing upexperiencing working really at a
young age started working atage 15, work through work, part
(02:29):
of high school, work throughcollege, everything.
And what I loved about myexperience now as an adult is I
love the work ethic that I builtearlier on and then the
exposure I had about money tohelp me, to help me grow a
little bit, and my grandmahelped me.
So I remember my grandma helpedme get my first car, so she
(02:52):
co-signed awesome car with me.
So that was so amazing and I wasfortunate.
But she also, she trusted me.
She knew my character, she knewagain that I was working hard,
good, good student, all thatstuff.
So she trusted me.
So that really helped me startbuilding, to start building my
credit.
Then one of my older sister alsotaught me a little bit about
(03:12):
credit and then that's how mycall it my passion for finance
really started was just startingto learn something that was
really not talked about earlieron in life and I realized that
money is a tool and there werethings that I wanted to do to be
able to help my future familyand my current family everything
.
So that's how.
(03:33):
That's this a little bit aboutmy call it my background.
Coach Alex Ray (03:37):
Yeah, I would love to hear a little bit more,
and it sounds like you alreadykind of covered this a little
bit.
But, like, what would you sayto someone who has a similar
upbringing, where they feel like, okay, if you have money, then
you're kind of evil, something'swrong with you, and now they're
also like well, how do I breakthrough that mindset?
(03:58):
Because I'm realizing I don'tlike having the lack of money
either.
Melissa Gonzalez (04:05):
That's such a good question.
That's something that I reallypersonally was very challenged
with for a very long time thatwhen I realized that money is a
tool and that money does notmake anyone a good person, does
not make anyone a bad person,it's just a transfer of energy.
That's the way I look at.
I look at money now and I lookat again if it's a tool, what
(04:27):
does it provide you?
And, of course, you're inside.
If you're a good person, you'rea good person, like so it's I,
it's it's.
I can't say that it's somethingthat you, someone, can just
develop overnight and say thatthey're.
Maybe the lack mentality turnsinto an abundance mentality, but
(04:49):
it's doing affirmations, thepositive, positive affirmations,
statements to yourself and thenlearning about all the good
things that money can do insomeone's life, first in your
own households, how it canreally help provide the life
that you really want.
Does it necessarily?
Does not have to be at allsomething that's like a lavish
(05:12):
lifestyle?
But and again, sometimes Ithink we automatically believe
that money equals lavishlifestyle.
And that's not the case.
So it's like whatever isimportant to you, then dig a
little deeper into it, focus onpositivity and then, little by
little, let go about all themany things that maybe we were
(05:33):
taught earlier on in life abouthow money is is bad.
We end up identifying that thatthose things aren't true.
It takes a while to figure thatout.
Coach Alex Ray (05:45):
There's like this religion to money, almost
yeah, and these like spookyboogeyman stories we believe
about, about money, but theyreally do still.
I mean I wish they sounded thatsilly in my head, but
oftentimes they don't.
They seem very real and verytrue.
Melissa Gonzalez (06:05):
Totally, totally.
Coach Alex Ray (06:07):
Is there anything else that we should
know that you'd like to share sothat we can get to know you a
little bit more in yourbackground?
Melissa Gonzalez (06:15):
Yeah, so I'm part of the community as well.
So I came out when I was in myearly 20s.
I married to my beautiful wife,maricela, who you've met.
We have a lot of furry children.
We have two cats, two dogs.
We're very family oriented.
And one thing that's been veryimportant for me as I continue
(06:38):
my career is really helpingdiverse professionals, and that
includes LGBTQ plus community,and I'm just so happy that I
have this opportunity to justhelp so many people in this
space and I like the way I likeI like kind of saying like I'm
helping my people right, whetherit's LGBTQ plus or it's diverse
(07:00):
families or individuals.
I'm really happy about that.
Coach Alex Ray (07:05):
Oh, that's amazing.
I feel like there's so muchtrust that you build to by just
having shared identities withpeople like I would so much
rather work with someone in thecommunity than I would someone
outside the community thatdoesn't necessarily understand
my struggles or that, like Imight have to experience awkward
(07:27):
microaggressions just by, like,having a conversation that in
my head, doesn't isn't supposedto go there, but somehow does.
Melissa Gonzalez (07:37):
Yeah, somehow it does, and I've received that
feedback before from fromclients.
Either I met, I'm meeting themfor the first time and they say
that I saw your website, or Isaw your LinkedIn and they say
that they like the, the thoughtI often get like the
authenticity and I'm veryforward that I'm welcoming these
(08:00):
communities to to our practice,versus saying that maybe
sometimes financial planners,financial advisors, have a very
niche market where they onlyhelp a certain type of
individual and that's somethingthat just never, I never.
I never felt really good aboutthat starting this business and
(08:21):
I always just wanted to reallyhelp those that I saw that
needed a little bit more.
Maybe they were underunderserved, under help,
underrepresented.
Coach Alex Ray (08:34):
Yeah, it's amazing.
I would love to hear too ifyou're willing to share or
whatever you're willing to share, just about your coming out
journey.
What?
Was that like for you.
Melissa Gonzalez (08:46):
Such a good question.
Okay, so it was in my earlytwenties.
So so I'm one of four, fourgirls, so three sisters and I.
One day I decided to actuallytell one of my sisters, and I
remember I think we were, it wasone bathroom for the entire
house and we were in thebathroom together she probably
(09:07):
like doing her makeup orsomething.
And then I tell her and she herresponse was kind of like duh,
like I knew this already, likeoh gee Really.
Yeah, that was.
It was funny.
It was funny.
So I told one sister, then toldanother person and I eventually
told my grandma and my grandmawas the one that I was most
(09:28):
concerned about, like I'm notsure.
Very, she was born in Mexico,became a US citizen in the
States, maybe 30 years ago MaybeI might be off at the time and
had a very strict way of lookingat things and I thought that
that was going to be verychallenging and she was so
(09:49):
accepting it was.
I'm very, very blessed with mycoming out story, Very, very
blessed, fortunate, about allthe support that I had from
family, and we joke about itthat a lot of folks say that,
like we knew this already, wewere just waiting for you to
like, we were waiting for you tosay it, so it was like wait,
why didn't you tell me?
And they're like that's yourstory to tell, like okay, that
(10:09):
makes total sense.
Coach Alex Ray (10:11):
I love that.
I'm so glad for you that youhad such supportive family there
for you.
That's absolutely incredibleand I think that's not always
like the narrative that we hearabout our community and I love
to be able to hear differentstories so that we can really
(10:31):
show like, hey, it doesn't, noteveryone's experience is
terrible and we're very good andconnecting, Would you say.
Your relationship how did yourrelationship like with your
family change after coming out?
Melissa Gonzalez (10:47):
I don't think it changed much.
I don't think it.
I think it was kind of like yousaid that one of your family
members was like okay, likelet's move on now, it's not a
big deal.
I think that's the majority ofmy relationships were like that
and that everybody was justsupportive, and then it's like
the end is like it's still me.
(11:09):
I'm still the same person, stillthe same human, the same
relationship.
Yeah, so I'm very, very, veryfortunate, because I know that
that's not the case for a lot ofpeople.
And yeah, I'm just thinkinglike when did I maybe not have
those experiences I could sayprofessionally, sometimes in my
(11:30):
earlier career it was at timesvery challenging to be in a
professional environment.
And then I constantly am askedwhat does your husband do?
Or what is your again, whatdoes your boyfriend do?
And then those comments or I'malso Hispanic, so I speak
(11:53):
Spanish.
So in my previous careersometimes I would speak Spanish
because of the client that I hadin front of me and I'd get
feedback on that like hey,you're in the United States, you
should speak English, or thelike those types of comments.
So I received that.
I received that, received somestuff about being a lesbian and
(12:16):
I got a lot of the you're toopretty for that, You're too like
, like, oh, you haven't beenwith them, you haven't been with
them, you haven't been with theright man.
So it's like I got a lot ofthings in the professional
environment.
So, more personally not so muchit was professionally that I
had to figure out how tonavigate through it.
So now I'm very forward aboutwho I am in my needs.
(12:40):
It just it's just part of theconversation, Like if someone
says something about theirspouse, then I'd say, oh, like
my wife and I.
So I just mentioned it.
Coach Alex Ray (12:50):
Yeah.
Melissa Gonzalez (12:50):
Make it a part of the conversation and if,
whatever reason, they don't likeit, then I know that we're not
the right fit together.
Like, and that's perfect.
Coach Alex Ray (12:59):
So I'm very forward.
With.
The plan for today was to focuson financial confidence.
However, I feel like you justgave everyone just such a great
tool right there for confidence,just in your identity as a
queer person.
Melissa Gonzalez (13:17):
Yeah.
Coach Alex Ray (13:20):
I have found like this, similar things, where
the more that I hit it in thepast, the more insecure I felt,
and the more forward I was aboutit, the more confident I felt
and the same thing I see in myclients as well.
Like it's when you hide it,then you have all the
opportunity for people to belike unintentionally an asshole
(13:46):
to you.
When you lead with it.
You can find out very quicklywhere they stand and say goodbye
if they're not a good fit.
Melissa Gonzalez (13:57):
Exactly, exactly there's.
It's an abundance, right, it'san abundance.
I always say, like people arechoosing to work with me and my
team, but I'm also choosing todo onboard to as a client, and
we look for shared values.
We look for that.
That's very important.
You can have all the money inthe world, but if you're not a
(14:19):
nice person, we probably don'twant you as a client.
And again, that's just more oflike, just about more value
driven practice on how we'rehelping people.
But, being forward, it's onLinkedIn website, on the Zoom or
any other call it virtual toolsthat anyone uses.
I always use my pronouns, myemail signature Goal is just to
(14:42):
make it very apparent and thatit's also a safe space too.
That typically opens a doorwhere someone else might feel a
little bit more comfortablesharing some more, some more
personal information with methan maybe I didn't have that.
Coach Alex Ray (14:59):
Amazing.
Ok, should we get into thefinance stuff?
Let's give everyone the fullfinancial overhaul today.
Let's go.
Melissa Gonzalez (15:10):
Give them a starting place.
Coach Alex Ray (15:11):
I know what the question was that I was
forgetting earlier, and I thinkthis is a great spot to kick
things off here.
I for a long time and it's areoccurring thing I just finally
did my budget after hiding fromit since almost a year, and I
(15:32):
had had one for a little bitbefore, and I go in and out.
One of the things thatreoccurse for me is I have a lot
of fear of looking at myfinances.
I have this mindset, and I'msure there are other people
listening that maybe havesomething too, so I want to hear
your input on it of well, if Ijust close my eyes, it's
probably going to be OK.
(15:52):
So why look at it?
Because if I look at it, it'sjust pure anxiety.
Melissa Gonzalez (15:59):
That's such a good question and absolutely
you're not alone.
That's so common, so, so common, so one.
I like that you have the budget.
I like that you've created abudget and it's so hard to stick
to a budget sometimes I thinkit's just human nature that we
don't want to right.
I love that you did it.
And then I think it's like so Ithink of any type of goal,
(16:25):
whether it's a career goal, afinancial goal or maybe it's any
other goals in life.
A lot of times we place, we putthis goal out there, and
normally what gets tracked getsdone.
Right If we do pay attention toagain, maybe looking at that
(16:49):
budget, right, we have to start.
Oh sorry, if we're not payingattention to that, let's start
asking ourselves what's holdingus back, what is causing this
fear, and understand what thatroot causes.
And what happens is, a lot oftimes we're in this lack
mentality that we're thinking ofwhat we don't have versus the
(17:09):
we're so grateful that we dohave XYZ.
So I'm thinking of whethersomeone has a job right, whether
getting paid every two weeks orevery month, however they get
paid, or someone's self-employed.
However you're getting paid,someone is still trusting you to
(17:31):
pay you.
So it's like receiving.
I always look at it.
It's like you're alwaysproviding something.
Wherever it is that you work orself-employed, you're providing
a value somehow and you'regetting paid for that.
So I think focusing on what'sreally positive about it versus
the lack and I think it's sohard to it's easier said than
(17:56):
done right.
But so I think one is likeacknowledging that piece is what
is it?
What's causing the fear?
And maybe digging into it alittle bit more.
And then the other one ishaving some type of goal or a
goal in place about what we'repaying right, whether we're
looking at our expenses, formaybe it's just to put money
(18:21):
into a savings, or maybe to paysome bills, maybe it's to pay
some credit cards, whatever itis.
It's that if we don't feel likewe're making progress, a lot of
times we just naturally humanbehaviors to avoid it.
So I'd say, having some type oftarget a lot of times helps
(18:42):
alleviate it, because there's atarget and then there's some
level of a plan associated withhow am I going to save this
money or pay this bill or paythis card off?
Like, if there's a plan, thenyou have like the end in sight.
Then we start seeing itdifferently.
Yeah, I don't know kind ofreasonable there, but that's
(19:02):
kind of how I'm taking that one.
Coach Alex Ray (19:05):
I love that answer and when I think about it
for myself, I used to work outlike that was my main thing.
A lot of people that follow mestill know me from the fitness
world.
What you said about trackingreally reminded me of how I used
to really track my deadlift, mysnatch, which is not anything
(19:28):
naughty it's a crossfit movement, not anything naughty here.
I mean, we do talk naughty onthe podcast so we can definitely
talk about that.
But deadlifts, squats, all ofthe different movements like I
would track what was my lift andwould, over time, watch that
(19:51):
number grow and it wasintentional about trying to get
stronger.
And I did, and I think the samething.
If I never even knew what wason the barbell and if I never
actually wrote it down or lookedback, I also wouldn't have had
any of the satisfaction of ohlook, I actually lifted more
(20:12):
this week than I did a month ortwo ago.
I think applying some of thatsame mentality for me is a
really great framework forfinances.
Melissa Gonzalez (20:20):
That's so good .
Coach Alex Ray (20:22):
So thank you for that.
Ok, next question I have foryou is how is the financial
challenges, or financialplanning challenges, that queer
folks need to plan for?
How are those different?
Melissa Gonzalez (20:40):
That's a good one.
So I think one budgetingabsolutely is a big topic.
The other one is estateplanning.
So, estate planning.
That's a big one Because italso depends on what state you
live in, whether you're inCalifornia or you're in a
different state.
So I think of estate planningbecause there are added
(21:03):
components that make it a littlebit more challenging for
same-sex couples.
So for our community, so thatwould include having a will or a
trust or having the rightbeneficiaries in place health
care directives I've heard thestories from clients and from
(21:28):
other areas that somethinghappened with their partner but
they don't have rights to govisit them at a hospital, they
don't have rights to helpfinancially, to have access to
bank accounts, to help pay bills, because they're not on an
account but there's no power orattorney.
So there's these nuances for ourcommunity.
(21:49):
So that's one.
And then also just every stateis different.
So I think of even adoption.
So in some states one persondoesn't, if they're basing in
same-sex couple, they don't haveto adopt the child.
But in another state, if theadoption, if one parent is not
(22:12):
legally a parent, there can besome issues there.
If the let's just assume childgoes to a field trip to a
different state and thensomething happens that wasn't
supposed to happen, there mightbe some issues there.
So estate planning is huge inour community.
I can say it's often overlooked.
But really important to addressthis, important to address that.
(22:39):
And then you asked some other.
I think it was like nuances orother challenges that LGBTQ plus
individuals, families face alsojust the family, growing a
family, if that's important tothe individual, to the couple.
It's not like.
I'll give myself as an examplemy wife.
(23:01):
Her name is Manicela.
It's not like Manicela and Ican wake up one day and say, hey
, let's make a baby tonight.
We just can't do that.
I'm like we just can't right.
Coach Alex Ray (23:11):
There's a little more planning involved.
Melissa Gonzalez (23:14):
Yeah, it's just not going to happen, so we
really have to plan it.
Then it's the who are we goingto contact?
Who are we going to trust?
Who has experience working withsame-sex couples?
Then it's how much is thisgoing to cost?
Then it's the insurance.
Does some employers have reallygreat coverages in this space?
(23:35):
Some employers don't?
Then there's the, also likethinking about maternity leave.
Right, if you're not married,can you both take maternity
leave?
Like, how does that work?
So these all these littlenuances, but that can really
affect someone's lifefinancially.
(23:57):
And then what is another one,the, I'd say an emergency fund
safety, like a safety net.
Lgbtq plus individuals arerecommended to have a higher
emergency fund than ourheterosexual counterparts.
Coach Alex Ray (24:19):
Sure.
Melissa Gonzalez (24:19):
And the reason ?
One reason is because there's ahigher probability that we
would experience some type ofworkplace harassment, so then we
have a higher probability ofbeing out of work and then
meaning, and then statisticallywe have more debt.
So there's just like this cycle.
(24:40):
So it's like having thosestrong safety nets is really can
play a significant role longterm, short term or long term.
Coach Alex Ray (24:48):
Yeah, that's really, that's really good to
think about.
Like all of those things,particularly the one standing
out to me is like having thatbigger safety net and knowing
like, oh, okay, hey, that's,it's more.
It's important for us to have alarger safety net than we might
be if we're not seeking outqueer centered or or, yeah,
(25:09):
queer centered advice on ourfinances.
We may not be aware of thesenuances.
Are there any things we talkedabout challenges a bit?
Are there any strengths thatyou see in queer individuals and
their finances?
Melissa Gonzalez (25:27):
Absolutely yes , so that's a good one.
Our queer community have a verystrong buying power in the.
United States very strongbuying power in the United
States and household incomes arehigher typically than the
heterosexual incomes.
(25:48):
When you find a household.
I'm sure there's like ageranges to this and I don't have
the exact data there, but it'spretty neat to hear that the
data stating that LGBTQ plus areone of the one of the segments
of folks that are that areincreasing their buying power in
(26:08):
the US.
It's like, okay, we have, we're, we're, we're dropping some
money in our community, in ourbusinesses, all of that.
Coach Alex Ray (26:22):
I feel like that's something that to me,
feels very empowering, to knowthat like hey look, we've got
corporations, businesses wantour money.
When I think about it from thatside of like, oh, they want
what I have, I always feel a lotmore empowered, like, well,
great, then I'm gonna make somewise decisions because I'm not
(26:45):
the one that's like begging herelike you want what I have, and
I don't have to just kind oflike grovel yeah, yeah, I love
it.
Melissa Gonzalez (26:56):
It's so true, though it's so true, there's
we're we're important buyers inour community, in our community
whether it's local space,national space, and it's
probably why we're also seeing alot of, amongst other things,
but we're seeing a lot ofcompanies really focus on
(27:19):
capturing this business, yeah,and really helping our community
.
Coach Alex Ray (27:23):
So definitely, and I think that's sort of a way
that we can all start thinkingabout.
Okay, well then, how do weleverage this in our workspaces?
Or or, if you're wanting topurchase something like, how do
you use that again to youradvantage instead of feeling
like, oh, something, I have tohide this part of me?
Can that be something that's atthe forefront, that's actually
(27:45):
like your, your identity beingan ally for you, instead of
feeling like your identity is ahindrance exactly.
Are there any?
Do you have any like top tipsfor the community for planning
for a better financial future?
Melissa Gonzalez (28:06):
Really good question.
So top tips.
So one is I think the first oneis start with.
The first one always is startwith, like start with the budget
is understanding what's comingin every month, what has to come
out every month.
A good rule of thumb is 60% ofexpenses goes go towards sorry,
(28:27):
60% of income goes towardsexpenses like your normal day to
day.
20% goes towards your futureself.
Always recommend to look atsaving or investing, putting
money away as as a bill.
It's like you're going to payyour rent or you're going to pay
your mortgage pay yourself tooand then the last 20% goes to
(28:51):
whatever you want to spend on,like whatever you want, guilt
free.
So you're giving yourselfpermission to spend.
So that's one as your rate asyou your income increases.
Always recommend to to increaseyour savings or investments to
like what you're contributing.
It's so easy for us to increaseour lifestyle spending.
(29:14):
So it's like how do we do both?
So it always like operatingpercentages.
So budgeting, that's one.
The other one is is starthaving the a conversation with a
, with a planner, with anadvisor.
Start having a conversation,develop a financial plan,
regardless of what stage in lifeyou're in, is understand what
(29:37):
are the short-term and long-termgoals you, you want in life and
it's they're always changedLike.
They always always change.
So it's okay that we don't havelike the, the perfect, like we
don't have, we don't knowexactly what we want in five
years or in 10 years or in 20years.
That's okay.
There's no right or wronganswer.
And then, just to startsomewhere, always recommend to
(30:00):
do things to make sure thatthey're setting themselves with
a very strong foundation.
I like to use the analogy of afinancial house.
When you purchase a house,you're always going to double
check if there's, if thefoundation of that house is
really strong.
So, from a financial planningperspective, let's make sure
that you have a very strong,strong foundation.
(30:20):
So talk to a financial advisor,have that conversation, get to
build a relationship and then,little by little, you'll see the
progress.
That's the.
That's one thing that I wish Ihad done sooner, even for myself
.
Marisa, my wife, says the samething, that she wishes she had
done things sooner too.
(30:41):
We don't know what, we don'tknow right, and but then we
learn.
Coach Alex Ray (30:45):
Yeah.
Melissa Gonzalez (30:45):
Like okay, let's just keep on going,
there's progress.
Coach Alex Ray (30:49):
Yeah, Okay.
So potential roadblock I'mseeing here is what about the
person that's like, okay, thatall sounds great, but like I'm
panicked because my finances areso tight?
How much is it going to cost meto talk with an advisor?
How can I even afford to beable to do that?
Melissa Gonzalez (31:06):
Yeah, that's, that's, that's so true, and I
can see that those, those comeup, so it depends.
So there are, there are folksthat really focus primarily on
more like budgeting therethere's, you probably would pay
some type of fee, probably a fewhundred dollars a month, to
speak to someone that is onlygoing to really focus on
(31:27):
budgeting, right?
So that's a great first way,but, yes, you're probably
looking at a few hundred dollarsof an investment in there per
month for a financial planner,financial advisor.
Some charge a flat fee just tohave conversations as well.
Some don't.
Personally, I've operated mybusiness of not charging that
upfront fee, so it's really justa conversation.
(31:50):
There is no charge to have themeetings, to have the
conversations.
We just ask to share the levelof financial planning, right?
Because instead of puttingthousands of thousands, of
thousands of dollars intomarketing, we'd say, well, we
want to just serve our communityand the way we grow.
The grow is through word ofmouth, the favorable
introductions, all of that.
(32:11):
So I there are advisors outthere, myself included that will
not charge that upfront fee,which can be several thousands
of dollars.
Coach Alex Ray (32:23):
Amazing.
So someone listening right nowwith that exact situation could
say okay, great, I'm going to,I'm going to call up Melissa
after this interview and be likeexcuse me, I need some help.
Where do I get started?
Melissa Gonzalez (32:39):
Yeah, absolutely, and you'd be able to
get them started.
Yeah, absolutely we would.
We would spend a little.
We spent some time have thatconversation, direct, the right
way, kind of give somesuggestions of what to do on
some tools as well, like we've.
We've have we've helped somepeople where, where we give them
(33:01):
some guidelines, some tools asto what they need to do to get
out of some debt, to build astrong emergency fund.
And then we pretty much say thisis kind of like the homework
over the next three months orsix months or a year, and again,
they're adults, they'reresponsible for implementing all
of that.
And then after that, then it'sthe Melissa, we did it, we're
(33:24):
done, we're almost done.
Now it's the okay, let's focuson some longer term planning
versus solely paying off debt.
But and again, debt was just anexample, but we've done that
several times.
Coach Alex Ray (33:36):
Yeah, amazing, okay, cool.
So, looping back to somethingthat we talked about earlier, I
wanna shift the conversationmore towards families for a bit.
For queer families, what shouldthey keep in mind as far as
navigating estate planning orinsurance or other things that
(34:01):
are unique to queer families?
Melissa Gonzalez (34:05):
For queer families.
So estate planning is absolutelyobtain a trust, absolutely a
trust if you have assets toprotect and pass down to each
other and making sure thatbeneficiaries are up to date,
because, again, some states arejust not going to honor that,
they're not gonna honor ifsomeone's not married and
(34:26):
sometimes they will, but again,every state is different.
So, having a trust and updatingbeneficiaries for insurance, I
highly encourage folks to beproactive about life insurance,
be proactive about protectingtheir income.
Our ability to earn an incomeis what pays the bills, what
helps us save money andeverything, and that's a big
(34:47):
area that's missed.
And there can be times where wejust can't go to work and that
can be very detrimental to thedebt that we just paid off, the
savings account that we justbuilt, and now we can't go to
work for six months for XYZreason.
So those are at least a littlebit on the insurance side.
Longer term for insurance itwould be long-term care,
(35:10):
planning long-term care for myqueer clients.
Their concern tends to be, andeven for myself too, their
concern tends to be how much isthis going to cost?
Who's going to take care of mewhen I get older if I don't have
kids?
Because a lot of times whathappens is kids become the plan.
(35:30):
That's very common and thestate doesn't pay for this stuff
.
The government doesn't pay forthis stuff.
So then we don't have kids.
Then who's left?
So we really have to sell funand practically plan for this.
But there is a way to have aninsurance company, kind of, pay
that bill for you.
Coach Alex Ray (35:51):
Love that.
I feel like.
That's like right there theanswer I wanted to hear.
It was like okay, wait a minute, hold on how much?
Yeah, oh my god.
Melissa Gonzalez (36:01):
Are you sure?
Coach Alex Ray (36:02):
no one else is going to help with this, because
I pay so much goddamn money andtaxes and insurances like are
you sure?
Melissa Gonzalez (36:09):
Yeah, that one's a tough one.
That one's a tough one becauseit's very unfortunately it's
very expensive process to gothrough long-term care.
So Southern California, on thelow end, it's about $5,000 a
month in today's dollars.
I don't pay for that and that'snot for the best care.
And that rate is skyrocketingyear over year.
(36:31):
So we can imagine when you andI are a little bit older we're
probably going to still be superhealthy, hopefully.
Coach Alex Ray (36:40):
Yeah, hopefully, hopefully, independent living,
but, as you said, that's notalways guaranteed.
And it's like a lot offinancial planning is to kind of
help with that thing, the factthat life isn't 100% guaranteed,
preparing for those unexpectedthings.
Melissa Gonzalez (37:02):
Right, it's exactly Prepare for the
unexpected but plan for a reallygood tomorrow and then figure
out how do you still plan forthose things but still have an
amazing life today, or sustain?
I'm working to only plan fortomorrow.
That's not.
Most people want to have a verybalanced life that they're
(37:26):
enjoying today, but they'replanning for a good tomorrow.
Coach Alex Ray (37:30):
Yeah.
What could someone do then tostart connecting with a
financial advisor or findingmore information?
Melissa Gonzalez (37:41):
Absolutely.
Well, you mentioned it earlierthat I absolutely am happy to
help.
I'm happy to help, so they'remore than welcome to reach out
through my website.
There's a way to just kind oflike fill out the little
questionnaire and then it'llsend me a link or a note to
contact and schedule a timetogether.
So that's going to be one waythat, of course, I'm on LinkedIn
and Instagram All those goodsocial media channels they can
(38:05):
reach out to me.
Coach Alex Ray (38:05):
Yeah one of the reasons I really wanted to have
you was so that anyone that'slistening that's like, hey, I
really want to start working onmy financial picture, but most
financial advice out theredoesn't feel like it includes me
or even is aware of what arethe things that I need to look
(38:27):
out for as someone in the LGBTQplus community.
So absolutely all get yourselfconnected with Melissa.
She's going to actuallyunderstand the challenges, the
unique challenges that you'regoing to face, that you have
thought of or that you may nothave thought of at all.
So I really appreciate thatabout you and your expertise.
Melissa Gonzalez (38:48):
Thanks, Alex.
Coach Alex Ray (38:49):
Yeah, let's do two questions from the audience.
So, dr Gretchen Sites, I hope Iam saying your last name
correctly.
Yes, is it possible to generatewealth without investing in
real estate?
Melissa Gonzalez (39:08):
Really good question and the answer is
absolutely yes, absolutely yes.
So there is no right or wrongway on how to build wealth or
generational wealth.
I think I do believe socialmedia has taught a lot of us
that the only way to do it isthe real estate Right.
(39:29):
I think that's very common.
I think that is a way to do it,but not the only way to do it.
The best way to approach itfrom a finding perspective is to
diversify assets and havedifferent ways.
Different wealth-building toolshave to think about yes, real
(39:50):
estate is a great tool.
However, has his downsides.
Or some investment accounts aregreat tools, but they have some
downsides.
So everything is going to havea pro and have a con.
There's no corn product outthere that's going to be perfect
, but it is what feels right toyou as a person, versus doing
(40:16):
something that maybe justdoesn't feel right.
Like, not everybody wants to bea property manager and be a
landlord Not everybody.
I think our society has made alot of people believe that
that's the only way to buildwealth, and that's absolutely
not true.
Best way to look at it is basedon habits.
(40:37):
So what's the percentage ofincome that we're actually
putting away and that's growing?
right, so it's in certain bigsavings, investment accounts and
our real estate.
But the percentage of ourincomes, that's what's going,
that we're actually putting away.
That's what's going to growover time If we're not putting
(40:58):
anything away.
That makes it very challenging.
Coach Alex Ray (41:00):
Right that nothing's growing because it's
not growing.
Melissa Gonzalez (41:04):
That's right yeah.
Coach Alex Ray (41:05):
That on it right there.
That's something that I reallyappreciated.
The first time that we hung outand got coffee and talked was
just that you really center thehow on values.
I felt really comfortabletalking with you and
understanding that, like, okay,wait a minute, you're not
(41:26):
someone that's going to comewith a plan of, okay, well,
here's the step one throughseven.
You have to do all of these andif you don't like them, then
get over it or, sorry, you'rejust hopeless.
You're never going to be able tohave the financial future you
want, and that is kind of theway that I felt, like I was
being talked to in otherfinancial settings was like you
(41:49):
have to do these specific thingsand if you don't, you cannot
succeed financially, or eventhat there's something almost
like wrong with you if you don'tlike this.
And some of us have, like,certain moral obligations with
certain ways of investing ourfinances, and I think that's
probably maybe more common inthe queer community than it is
(42:10):
outside the community for us tobe more aware of where we're
putting our money and being alittle more conscious of I don't
want just growth, I also wantto be doing good with how I
invest my money, absolutely.
Melissa Gonzalez (42:24):
Yeah, absolutely.
Coach Alex Ray (42:25):
And that's so common.
Melissa Gonzalez (42:26):
That is very, very common.
The social, responsibleinvesting that is something that
is more talked about now andit's important.
People want to align theirvalues to what they're putting
their money towards, or evenwhat stores they go to, what
(42:47):
business are they going to payinto for our products or
services.
We look at the HRC scores, welook at a lot to make sure that
they're in alignment.
Yeah.
Coach Alex Ray (43:02):
Absolutely All right.
The second question I have isfrom Mario and he said are there
expenses unique to the LGBTQcommunity that we should plan
for?
Melissa Gonzalez (43:19):
Good question.
I think I touched on one alittle earlier on the long-term
care planning.
I think that one for sure not ahuge concern as a younger
individual, but as we get olderit's something that would play a
role.
So that's going to be one.
And the other one is reallypaying attention to employer
(43:42):
benefits.
What are the benefits that youhave access to If you're looking
to transition?
Are those?
Is that covered through workRight?
Or what portion?
What part of it is covered,what part of it is not?
Or if we're looking to expandthe family, start a family, does
(44:04):
your employer offer some helpor not?
So I think it's a lot of it isemployer-based.
I think those are the two mainones that at least pop up to
mind right now.
Coach Alex Ray (44:15):
Those are great, all right.
Lastly, give us a littlepreview of what they can expect
if they reach out to you.
What does it look like to workwith you?
Melissa Gonzalez (44:26):
So typically we would have an introductory
conversation and it's aconversation just to understand
what's important, what the goalsare of that individual, that
family or that couple, whoeverit is, understand their current
story as to where they're atfinancially, how they got there,
all that, and then understandwhat they're not doing.
(44:50):
I ask a lot of questions Just tounderstand the story and I can
say it's a judgment-free zone,so no right or wrong answers.
It's just really understandingwhat the current scenario is and
where you're headed or theindividual's headed, and then,
assuming we agree on havinganother conversation, typically
(45:13):
we would have another meetingand that's when I would share a
little bit more of thoseobservations of the this is what
steps to take or strategies todo, and then at that point we
can say, okay, should weactually formalize this
relationship and really worktogether?
Should we follow up in a fewmonths, or should we reconnect
(45:34):
in another week, or is itanother six months?
Whatever it is, we can figureout cadence at that point.
But the first conversation Ican say it's a very it's just an
open conversation where we'refiguring out can we be of value
and help in any way, shape orform, or maybe is it not, maybe
is we're going to give a coupleof pieces of advice and say
(45:58):
let's connect again in sixmonths.
Coach Alex Ray (46:00):
So, again.
Melissa Gonzalez (46:01):
that's.
I'd say it's a very simpleconversation.
The most I say to be preparedfor is have a budget and I would
share like a blank budget tocomplete pre-fill prior to the
conversation, so we can focus onthat.
Okay, love it All right.
Coach Alex Ray (46:17):
Where can they find you, how can people work
with you and who can work withyou?
Melissa Gonzalez (46:24):
Absolutely Great.
So a few places to find me.
So one is on my website, sothat is Melissa Gonzalez dot
nmcom.
So that's one.
And of course there's Instagramand then there's a LinkedIn.
But the best places to get incontact, at least to schedule,
would be my website or LinkedInAre the best places for
(46:47):
scheduling, but Instagramabsolutely.
Send me a message and then wecan always schedule.
Awesome.
Coach Alex Ray (46:53):
And I'll have all that linked up in the show
notes for you and you work withanyone in the US, right?
Melissa Gonzalez (46:59):
Yes, yes, so we have access to clients all
over the US we're right nowlicensed in I might be off of
maybe 28, 29 different states.
Okay, so for whatever reason,I'm not licensed in that
specific state, then absolutelyjust get licensed super quickly.
(47:20):
So that's pretty simple.
Coach Alex Ray (47:22):
Okay, awesome.
Melissa Gonzalez (47:22):
As long as in the US, yeah.
Coach Alex Ray (47:24):
All right, I love it.
All right.
Lastly, I want to just noteeveryone go to the show notes.
You don't even have to rememberthose links.
Everything will be down in theshow notes for you so you can
easily connect with Melissa.
And if you want to be able toask questions on future episodes
, make sure that you visit thelink in the show notes to get
involved in the Instagramchannel.
(47:45):
Once you're in there, you'll beable to ask questions for
future guests.
All right, any final words ofwisdom, advice, confidence, love
that you want to share with us,melissa.
Melissa Gonzalez (47:58):
Oh, you're so sweet.
Well one thank you for havingme.
This was awesome.
Coach Alex Ray (48:01):
You're so welcome.
Melissa Gonzalez (48:02):
I'm absolutely , and I say this it's
everybody's financial journey isdifferent, so a piece of advice
is focus on, like yourself, onyour individual finances and not
(48:22):
compare life to someone else.
It's so easy to play thecomparison game and I think as
long as we focus on just ourdaily habits of proving little
by little, we will go far.
You'll go far financially and,again, there's no right or wrong
answer.
It's just your, it's your path,it's whatever kind of wherever
(48:44):
you want to go, that's whereyou'll go.
But Amazing.
Coach Alex Ray (48:50):
I think that that comparison mentality is so
difficult to get out of.
So, thank you for the reminder,because it makes such a big
difference and we do realizethat.
Okay, that's what's happeningand put that aside.
Yeah, so much more.
I think our financial picturescan look so much more hopeful
(49:11):
and exciting when we're notcomparing to anyone else Exactly
.
Melissa Gonzalez (49:17):
It's your journey.
You're an individual.
Coach Alex Ray (49:19):
Yep.
Well, Seth, thank you so muchfor coming on the podcast today
and sharing all of your wisdomwith us.
I really appreciate you beinghere.
Melissa Gonzalez (49:27):
Absolutely.
You're so sweet.
Thanks, Alex.
Coach Alex Ray (49:29):
You're welcome.
All right, everyone.
I'll see you on the nextepisode.
Bye.
Hello, my unicorns, I am so excited to
have you back for anotherspecial guest episode.
Today I have with me on thepodcast Melissa Gonzalez.
She is a financial planner andtoday she is going to help us
figure out our finances, getthings jujjed up and plan for
our financial futures.
So welcome to the QueerConfidence podcast, Melissa.
Melissa Gonzalez (00:22):
I love it.
I love it.
Thanks so much for having me,Alex Glad to be here.
Coach Alex Ray (00:25):
You're welcome.
Thanks for being here with us.
Melissa Gonzalez (00:28):
Of course, of course.
Coach Alex Ray (00:29):
All right, we have a lot of questions to cover
and we've got questions fromthe audience too.
So before we get to all of thequestions, I want to know a
little bit more about yourbackground, your financial
upbringing and kind of thelessons you've gone through
personally.
Melissa Gonzalez (00:45):
Yeah, taking me way back now, alex.
So I am born and raised in SanDiego.
I have three sisters.
I grew up in a household filledwith women Three sisters, my
mom, my grandma, even our dogs,our pets were always female, so
it's very female dominanthousehold.
(01:07):
And we grew up in a very I thinkI shared this with you, I think
over coffee, one time where wetalked about how I grew up in a
very humble upbringing, economicupbringing, and we didn't have
much.
However, we had a lot ofsupport from other people.
I am so like the schools thatwe attended.
(01:27):
My mom volunteered to help ushave a private education growing
up, which I really do believeplayed a significant role in how
we grew up.
And because of the area that wegrew up in, was it maybe the
best, the best, just the bestarea?
And growing up, money wassomething that we just never
(01:49):
really talked about.
We kind of shied away about it.
And money if you had a lot ofmoney, it was kind of eluded
that you were maybe a bad personwhere it was kind of evil to
have money.
Coach Alex Ray (02:03):
So growing up with that same message.
Melissa Gonzalez (02:05):
Yeah, yeah, and that happens often and it
also depends on the depends onyour upbringing and the culture,
things like that.
And for a very long time Istruggled with that growing up,
that what did I not have?
And then again, growing upexperiencing working really at a
young age started working atage 15, work through work, part
(02:29):
of high school, work throughcollege, everything.
And what I loved about myexperience now as an adult is I
love the work ethic that I builtearlier on and then the
exposure I had about money tohelp me, to help me grow a
little bit, and my grandmahelped me.
So I remember my grandma helpedme get my first car, so she
(02:52):
co-signed awesome car with me.
So that was so amazing and I wasfortunate.
But she also, she trusted me.
She knew my character, she knewagain that I was working hard,
good, good student, all thatstuff.
So she trusted me.
So that really helped me startbuilding, to start building my
credit.
Then one of my older sister alsotaught me a little bit about
(03:12):
credit and then that's how mycall it my passion for finance
really started was just startingto learn something that was
really not talked about earlieron in life and I realized that
money is a tool and there werethings that I wanted to do to be
able to help my future familyand my current family everything
.
So that's how.
(03:33):
That's this a little bit aboutmy call it my background.
Coach Alex Ray (03:37):
Yeah, I would love to hear a little bit more,
and it sounds like you alreadykind of covered this a little
bit.
But, like, what would you sayto someone who has a similar
upbringing, where they feel like, okay, if you have money, then
you're kind of evil, something'swrong with you, and now they're
also like well, how do I breakthrough that mindset?
(03:58):
Because I'm realizing I don'tlike having the lack of money
either.
Melissa Gonzalez (04:05):
That's such a good question.
That's something that I reallypersonally was very challenged
with for a very long time thatwhen I realized that money is a
tool and that money does notmake anyone a good person, does
not make anyone a bad person,it's just a transfer of energy.
That's the way I look at.
I look at money now and I lookat again if it's a tool, what
(04:27):
does it provide you?
And, of course, you're inside.
If you're a good person, you'rea good person, like so it's I,
it's it's.
I can't say that it's somethingthat you, someone, can just
develop overnight and say thatthey're.
Maybe the lack mentality turnsinto an abundance mentality, but
(04:49):
it's doing affirmations, thepositive, positive affirmations,
statements to yourself and thenlearning about all the good
things that money can do insomeone's life, first in your
own households, how it canreally help provide the life
that you really want.
Does it necessarily?
Does not have to be at allsomething that's like a lavish
(05:12):
lifestyle?
But and again, sometimes Ithink we automatically believe
that money equals lavishlifestyle.
And that's not the case.
So it's like whatever isimportant to you, then dig a
little deeper into it, focus onpositivity and then, little by
little, let go about all themany things that maybe we were
(05:33):
taught earlier on in life abouthow money is is bad.
We end up identifying that thatthose things aren't true.
It takes a while to figure thatout.
Coach Alex Ray (05:45):
There's like this religion to money, almost
yeah, and these like spookyboogeyman stories we believe
about, about money, but theyreally do still.
I mean I wish they sounded thatsilly in my head, but
oftentimes they don't.
They seem very real and verytrue.
Melissa Gonzalez (06:05):
Totally, totally.
Coach Alex Ray (06:07):
Is there anything else that we should
know that you'd like to share sothat we can get to know you a
little bit more in yourbackground?
Melissa Gonzalez (06:15):
Yeah, so I'm part of the community as well.
So I came out when I was in myearly 20s.
I married to my beautiful wife,maricela, who you've met.
We have a lot of furry children.
We have two cats, two dogs.
We're very family oriented.
And one thing that's been veryimportant for me as I continue
(06:38):
my career is really helpingdiverse professionals, and that
includes LGBTQ plus community,and I'm just so happy that I
have this opportunity to justhelp so many people in this
space and I like the way I likeI like kind of saying like I'm
helping my people right, whetherit's LGBTQ plus or it's diverse
(07:00):
families or individuals.
I'm really happy about that.
Coach Alex Ray (07:05):
Oh, that's amazing.
I feel like there's so muchtrust that you build to by just
having shared identities withpeople like I would so much
rather work with someone in thecommunity than I would someone
outside the community thatdoesn't necessarily understand
my struggles or that, like Imight have to experience awkward
(07:27):
microaggressions just by, like,having a conversation that in
my head, doesn't isn't supposedto go there, but somehow does.
Melissa Gonzalez (07:37):
Yeah, somehow it does, and I've received that
feedback before from fromclients.
Either I met, I'm meeting themfor the first time and they say
that I saw your website, or Isaw your LinkedIn and they say
that they like the, the thoughtI often get like the
authenticity and I'm veryforward that I'm welcoming these
(08:00):
communities to to our practice,versus saying that maybe
sometimes financial planners,financial advisors, have a very
niche market where they onlyhelp a certain type of
individual and that's somethingthat just never, I never.
I never felt really good aboutthat starting this business and
(08:21):
I always just wanted to reallyhelp those that I saw that
needed a little bit more.
Maybe they were underunderserved, under help,
underrepresented.
Coach Alex Ray (08:34):
Yeah, it's amazing.
I would love to hear too ifyou're willing to share or
whatever you're willing to share, just about your coming out
journey.
What?
Was that like for you.
Melissa Gonzalez (08:46):
Such a good question.
Okay, so it was in my earlytwenties.
So so I'm one of four, fourgirls, so three sisters and I.
One day I decided to actuallytell one of my sisters, and I
remember I think we were, it wasone bathroom for the entire
house and we were in thebathroom together she probably
(09:07):
like doing her makeup orsomething.
And then I tell her and she herresponse was kind of like duh,
like I knew this already, likeoh gee Really.
Yeah, that was.
It was funny.
It was funny.
So I told one sister, then toldanother person and I eventually
told my grandma and my grandmawas the one that I was most
(09:28):
concerned about, like I'm notsure.
Very, she was born in Mexico,became a US citizen in the
States, maybe 30 years ago MaybeI might be off at the time and
had a very strict way of lookingat things and I thought that
that was going to be verychallenging and she was so
(09:49):
accepting it was.
I'm very, very blessed with mycoming out story, Very, very
blessed, fortunate, about allthe support that I had from
family, and we joke about itthat a lot of folks say that,
like we knew this already, wewere just waiting for you to
like, we were waiting for you tosay it, so it was like wait,
why didn't you tell me?
And they're like that's yourstory to tell, like okay, that
(10:09):
makes total sense.
Coach Alex Ray (10:11):
I love that.
I'm so glad for you that youhad such supportive family there
for you.
That's absolutely incredibleand I think that's not always
like the narrative that we hearabout our community and I love
to be able to hear differentstories so that we can really
(10:31):
show like, hey, it doesn't, noteveryone's experience is
terrible and we're very good andconnecting, Would you say.
Your relationship how did yourrelationship like with your
family change after coming out?
Melissa Gonzalez (10:47):
I don't think it changed much.
I don't think it.
I think it was kind of like yousaid that one of your family
members was like okay, likelet's move on now, it's not a
big deal.
I think that's the majority ofmy relationships were like that
and that everybody was justsupportive, and then it's like
the end is like it's still me.
(11:09):
I'm still the same person, stillthe same human, the same
relationship.
Yeah, so I'm very, very, veryfortunate, because I know that
that's not the case for a lot ofpeople.
And yeah, I'm just thinkinglike when did I maybe not have
those experiences I could sayprofessionally, sometimes in my
(11:30):
earlier career it was at timesvery challenging to be in a
professional environment.
And then I constantly am askedwhat does your husband do?
Or what is your again, whatdoes your boyfriend do?
And then those comments or I'malso Hispanic, so I speak
(11:53):
Spanish.
So in my previous careersometimes I would speak Spanish
because of the client that I hadin front of me and I'd get
feedback on that like hey,you're in the United States, you
should speak English, or thelike those types of comments.
So I received that.
I received that, received somestuff about being a lesbian and
(12:16):
I got a lot of the you're toopretty for that, You're too like
, like, oh, you haven't beenwith them, you haven't been with
them, you haven't been with theright man.
So it's like I got a lot ofthings in the professional
environment.
So, more personally not so muchit was professionally that I
had to figure out how tonavigate through it.
So now I'm very forward aboutwho I am in my needs.
(12:40):
It just it's just part of theconversation, Like if someone
says something about theirspouse, then I'd say, oh, like
my wife and I.
So I just mentioned it.
Coach Alex Ray (12:50):
Yeah.
Melissa Gonzalez (12:50):
Make it a part of the conversation and if,
whatever reason, they don't likeit, then I know that we're not
the right fit together.
Like, and that's perfect.
Coach Alex Ray (12:59):
So I'm very forward.
With.
The plan for today was to focuson financial confidence.
However, I feel like you justgave everyone just such a great
tool right there for confidence,just in your identity as a
queer person.
Melissa Gonzalez (13:17):
Yeah.
Coach Alex Ray (13:20):
I have found like this, similar things, where
the more that I hit it in thepast, the more insecure I felt,
and the more forward I was aboutit, the more confident I felt
and the same thing I see in myclients as well.
Like it's when you hide it,then you have all the
opportunity for people to belike unintentionally an asshole
(13:46):
to you.
When you lead with it.
You can find out very quicklywhere they stand and say goodbye
if they're not a good fit.
Melissa Gonzalez (13:57):
Exactly, exactly there's.
It's an abundance, right, it'san abundance.
I always say, like people arechoosing to work with me and my
team, but I'm also choosing todo onboard to as a client, and
we look for shared values.
We look for that.
That's very important.
You can have all the money inthe world, but if you're not a
(14:19):
nice person, we probably don'twant you as a client.
And again, that's just more oflike, just about more value
driven practice on how we'rehelping people.
But, being forward, it's onLinkedIn website, on the Zoom or
any other call it virtual toolsthat anyone uses.
I always use my pronouns, myemail signature Goal is just to
(14:42):
make it very apparent and thatit's also a safe space too.
That typically opens a doorwhere someone else might feel a
little bit more comfortablesharing some more, some more
personal information with methan maybe I didn't have that.
Coach Alex Ray (14:59):
Amazing.
Ok, should we get into thefinance stuff?
Let's give everyone the fullfinancial overhaul today.
Let's go.
Melissa Gonzalez (15:10):
Give them a starting place.
Coach Alex Ray (15:11):
I know what the question was that I was
forgetting earlier, and I thinkthis is a great spot to kick
things off here.
I for a long time and it's areoccurring thing I just finally
did my budget after hiding fromit since almost a year, and I
(15:32):
had had one for a little bitbefore, and I go in and out.
One of the things thatreoccurse for me is I have a lot
of fear of looking at myfinances.
I have this mindset, and I'msure there are other people
listening that maybe havesomething too, so I want to hear
your input on it of well, if Ijust close my eyes, it's
probably going to be OK.
(15:52):
So why look at it?
Because if I look at it, it'sjust pure anxiety.
Melissa Gonzalez (15:59):
That's such a good question and absolutely
you're not alone.
That's so common, so, so common, so one.
I like that you have the budget.
I like that you've created abudget and it's so hard to stick
to a budget sometimes I thinkit's just human nature that we
don't want to right.
I love that you did it.
And then I think it's like so Ithink of any type of goal,
(16:25):
whether it's a career goal, afinancial goal or maybe it's any
other goals in life.
A lot of times we place, we putthis goal out there, and
normally what gets tracked getsdone.
Right If we do pay attention toagain, maybe looking at that
(16:49):
budget, right, we have to start.
Oh sorry, if we're not payingattention to that, let's start
asking ourselves what's holdingus back, what is causing this
fear, and understand what thatroot causes.
And what happens is, a lot oftimes we're in this lack
mentality that we're thinking ofwhat we don't have versus the
(17:09):
we're so grateful that we dohave XYZ.
So I'm thinking of whethersomeone has a job right, whether
getting paid every two weeks orevery month, however they get
paid, or someone's self-employed.
However you're getting paid,someone is still trusting you to
(17:31):
pay you.
So it's like receiving.
I always look at it.
It's like you're alwaysproviding something.
Wherever it is that you work orself-employed, you're providing
a value somehow and you'regetting paid for that.
So I think focusing on what'sreally positive about it versus
the lack and I think it's sohard to it's easier said than
(17:56):
done right.
But so I think one is likeacknowledging that piece is what
is it?
What's causing the fear?
And maybe digging into it alittle bit more.
And then the other one ishaving some type of goal or a
goal in place about what we'repaying right, whether we're
looking at our expenses, formaybe it's just to put money
(18:21):
into a savings, or maybe to paysome bills, maybe it's to pay
some credit cards, whatever itis.
It's that if we don't feel likewe're making progress, a lot of
times we just naturally humanbehaviors to avoid it.
So I'd say, having some type oftarget a lot of times helps
(18:42):
alleviate it, because there's atarget and then there's some
level of a plan associated withhow am I going to save this
money or pay this bill or paythis card off?
Like, if there's a plan, thenyou have like the end in sight.
Then we start seeing itdifferently.
Yeah, I don't know kind ofreasonable there, but that's
(19:02):
kind of how I'm taking that one.
Coach Alex Ray (19:05):
I love that answer and when I think about it
for myself, I used to work outlike that was my main thing.
A lot of people that follow mestill know me from the fitness
world.
What you said about trackingreally reminded me of how I used
to really track my deadlift, mysnatch, which is not anything
(19:28):
naughty it's a crossfit movement, not anything naughty here.
I mean, we do talk naughty onthe podcast so we can definitely
talk about that.
But deadlifts, squats, all ofthe different movements like I
would track what was my lift andwould, over time, watch that
(19:51):
number grow and it wasintentional about trying to get
stronger.
And I did, and I think the samething.
If I never even knew what wason the barbell and if I never
actually wrote it down or lookedback, I also wouldn't have had
any of the satisfaction of ohlook, I actually lifted more
(20:12):
this week than I did a month ortwo ago.
I think applying some of thatsame mentality for me is a
really great framework forfinances.
Melissa Gonzalez (20:20):
That's so good .
Coach Alex Ray (20:22):
So thank you for that.
Ok, next question I have foryou is how is the financial
challenges, or financialplanning challenges, that queer
folks need to plan for?
How are those different?
Melissa Gonzalez (20:40):
That's a good one.
So I think one budgetingabsolutely is a big topic.
The other one is estateplanning.
So, estate planning.
That's a big one Because italso depends on what state you
live in, whether you're inCalifornia or you're in a
different state.
So I think of estate planningbecause there are added
(21:03):
components that make it a littlebit more challenging for
same-sex couples.
So for our community, so thatwould include having a will or a
trust or having the rightbeneficiaries in place health
care directives I've heard thestories from clients and from
(21:28):
other areas that somethinghappened with their partner but
they don't have rights to govisit them at a hospital, they
don't have rights to helpfinancially, to have access to
bank accounts, to help pay bills, because they're not on an
account but there's no power orattorney.
So there's these nuances for ourcommunity.
(21:49):
So that's one.
And then also just every stateis different.
So I think of even adoption.
So in some states one persondoesn't, if they're basing in
same-sex couple, they don't haveto adopt the child.
But in another state, if theadoption, if one parent is not
(22:12):
legally a parent, there can besome issues there.
If the let's just assume childgoes to a field trip to a
different state and thensomething happens that wasn't
supposed to happen, there mightbe some issues there.
So estate planning is huge inour community.
I can say it's often overlooked.
But really important to addressthis, important to address that.
(22:39):
And then you asked some other.
I think it was like nuances orother challenges that LGBTQ plus
individuals, families face alsojust the family, growing a
family, if that's important tothe individual, to the couple.
It's not like.
I'll give myself as an examplemy wife.
(23:01):
Her name is Manicela.
It's not like Manicela and Ican wake up one day and say, hey
, let's make a baby tonight.
We just can't do that.
I'm like we just can't right.
Coach Alex Ray (23:11):
There's a little more planning involved.
Melissa Gonzalez (23:14):
Yeah, it's just not going to happen, so we
really have to plan it.
Then it's the who are we goingto contact?
Who are we going to trust?
Who has experience working withsame-sex couples?
Then it's how much is thisgoing to cost?
Then it's the insurance.
Does some employers have reallygreat coverages in this space?
(23:35):
Some employers don't?
Then there's the, also likethinking about maternity leave.
Right, if you're not married,can you both take maternity
leave?
Like, how does that work?
So these all these littlenuances, but that can really
affect someone's lifefinancially.
(23:57):
And then what is another one,the, I'd say an emergency fund
safety, like a safety net.
Lgbtq plus individuals arerecommended to have a higher
emergency fund than ourheterosexual counterparts.
Coach Alex Ray (24:19):
Sure.
Melissa Gonzalez (24:19):
And the reason ?
One reason is because there's ahigher probability that we
would experience some type ofworkplace harassment, so then we
have a higher probability ofbeing out of work and then
meaning, and then statisticallywe have more debt.
So there's just like this cycle.
(24:40):
So it's like having thosestrong safety nets is really can
play a significant role longterm, short term or long term.
Coach Alex Ray (24:48):
Yeah, that's really, that's really good to
think about.
Like all of those things,particularly the one standing
out to me is like having thatbigger safety net and knowing
like, oh, okay, hey, that's,it's more.
It's important for us to have alarger safety net than we might
be if we're not seeking outqueer centered or or, yeah,
(25:09):
queer centered advice on ourfinances.
We may not be aware of thesenuances.
Are there any things we talkedabout challenges a bit?
Are there any strengths thatyou see in queer individuals and
their finances?
Melissa Gonzalez (25:27):
Absolutely yes , so that's a good one.
Our queer community have a verystrong buying power in the.
United States very strongbuying power in the United
States and household incomes arehigher typically than the
heterosexual incomes.
(25:48):
When you find a household.
I'm sure there's like ageranges to this and I don't have
the exact data there, but it'spretty neat to hear that the
data stating that LGBTQ plus areone of the one of the segments
of folks that are that areincreasing their buying power in
(26:08):
the US.
It's like, okay, we have, we're, we're, we're dropping some
money in our community, in ourbusinesses, all of that.
Coach Alex Ray (26:22):
I feel like that's something that to me,
feels very empowering, to knowthat like hey look, we've got
corporations, businesses wantour money.
When I think about it from thatside of like, oh, they want
what I have, I always feel a lotmore empowered, like, well,
great, then I'm gonna make somewise decisions because I'm not
(26:45):
the one that's like begging herelike you want what I have, and
I don't have to just kind oflike grovel yeah, yeah, I love
it.
Melissa Gonzalez (26:56):
It's so true, though it's so true, there's
we're we're important buyers inour community, in our community
whether it's local space,national space, and it's
probably why we're also seeing alot of, amongst other things,
but we're seeing a lot ofcompanies really focus on
(27:19):
capturing this business, yeah,and really helping our community
.
Coach Alex Ray (27:23):
So definitely, and I think that's sort of a way
that we can all start thinkingabout.
Okay, well then, how do weleverage this in our workspaces?
Or or, if you're wanting topurchase something like, how do
you use that again to youradvantage instead of feeling
like, oh, something, I have tohide this part of me?
Can that be something that's atthe forefront, that's actually
(27:45):
like your, your identity beingan ally for you, instead of
feeling like your identity is ahindrance exactly.
Are there any?
Do you have any like top tipsfor the community for planning
for a better financial future?
Melissa Gonzalez (28:06):
Really good question.
So top tips.
So one is I think the first oneis start with.
The first one always is startwith, like start with the budget
is understanding what's comingin every month, what has to come
out every month.
A good rule of thumb is 60% ofexpenses goes go towards sorry,
(28:27):
60% of income goes towardsexpenses like your normal day to
day.
20% goes towards your futureself.
Always recommend to look atsaving or investing, putting
money away as as a bill.
It's like you're going to payyour rent or you're going to pay
your mortgage pay yourself tooand then the last 20% goes to
(28:51):
whatever you want to spend on,like whatever you want, guilt
free.
So you're giving yourselfpermission to spend.
So that's one as your rate asyou your income increases.
Always recommend to to increaseyour savings or investments to
like what you're contributing.
It's so easy for us to increaseour lifestyle spending.
(29:14):
So it's like how do we do both?
So it always like operatingpercentages.
So budgeting, that's one.
The other one is is starthaving the a conversation with a
, with a planner, with anadvisor.
Start having a conversation,develop a financial plan,
regardless of what stage in lifeyou're in, is understand what
(29:37):
are the short-term and long-termgoals you, you want in life and
it's they're always changedLike.
They always always change.
So it's okay that we don't havelike the, the perfect, like we
don't have, we don't knowexactly what we want in five
years or in 10 years or in 20years.
That's okay.
There's no right or wronganswer.
And then, just to startsomewhere, always recommend to
(30:00):
do things to make sure thatthey're setting themselves with
a very strong foundation.
I like to use the analogy of afinancial house.
When you purchase a house,you're always going to double
check if there's, if thefoundation of that house is
really strong.
So, from a financial planningperspective, let's make sure
that you have a very strong,strong foundation.
(30:20):
So talk to a financial advisor,have that conversation, get to
build a relationship and then,little by little, you'll see the
progress.
That's the.
That's one thing that I wish Ihad done sooner, even for myself
.
Marisa, my wife, says the samething, that she wishes she had
done things sooner too.
(30:41):
We don't know what, we don'tknow right, and but then we
learn.
Coach Alex Ray (30:45):
Yeah.
Melissa Gonzalez (30:45):
Like okay, let's just keep on going,
there's progress.
Coach Alex Ray (30:49):
Yeah, Okay.
So potential roadblock I'mseeing here is what about the
person that's like, okay, thatall sounds great, but like I'm
panicked because my finances areso tight?
How much is it going to cost meto talk with an advisor?
How can I even afford to beable to do that?
Melissa Gonzalez (31:06):
Yeah, that's, that's, that's so true, and I
can see that those, those comeup, so it depends.
So there are, there are folksthat really focus primarily on
more like budgeting therethere's, you probably would pay
some type of fee, probably a fewhundred dollars a month, to
speak to someone that is onlygoing to really focus on
(31:27):
budgeting, right?
So that's a great first way,but, yes, you're probably
looking at a few hundred dollarsof an investment in there per
month for a financial planner,financial advisor.
Some charge a flat fee just tohave conversations as well.
Some don't.
Personally, I've operated mybusiness of not charging that
upfront fee, so it's really justa conversation.
(31:50):
There is no charge to have themeetings, to have the
conversations.
We just ask to share the levelof financial planning, right?
Because instead of puttingthousands of thousands, of
thousands of dollars intomarketing, we'd say, well, we
want to just serve our communityand the way we grow.
The grow is through word ofmouth, the favorable
introductions, all of that.
(32:11):
So I there are advisors outthere, myself included that will
not charge that upfront fee,which can be several thousands
of dollars.
Coach Alex Ray (32:23):
Amazing.
So someone listening right nowwith that exact situation could
say okay, great, I'm going to,I'm going to call up Melissa
after this interview and be likeexcuse me, I need some help.
Where do I get started?
Melissa Gonzalez (32:39):
Yeah, absolutely, and you'd be able to
get them started.
Yeah, absolutely we would.
We would spend a little.
We spent some time have thatconversation, direct, the right
way, kind of give somesuggestions of what to do on
some tools as well, like we've.
We've have we've helped somepeople where, where we give them
(33:01):
some guidelines, some tools asto what they need to do to get
out of some debt, to build astrong emergency fund.
And then we pretty much say thisis kind of like the homework
over the next three months orsix months or a year, and again,
they're adults, they'reresponsible for implementing all
of that.
And then after that, then it'sthe Melissa, we did it, we're
(33:24):
done, we're almost done.
Now it's the okay, let's focuson some longer term planning
versus solely paying off debt.
But and again, debt was just anexample, but we've done that
several times.
Coach Alex Ray (33:36):
Yeah, amazing, okay, cool.
So, looping back to somethingthat we talked about earlier, I
wanna shift the conversationmore towards families for a bit.
For queer families, what shouldthey keep in mind as far as
navigating estate planning orinsurance or other things that
(34:01):
are unique to queer families?
Melissa Gonzalez (34:05):
For queer families.
So estate planning is absolutelyobtain a trust, absolutely a
trust if you have assets toprotect and pass down to each
other and making sure thatbeneficiaries are up to date,
because, again, some states arejust not going to honor that,
they're not gonna honor ifsomeone's not married and
(34:26):
sometimes they will, but again,every state is different.
So, having a trust and updatingbeneficiaries for insurance, I
highly encourage folks to beproactive about life insurance,
be proactive about protectingtheir income.
Our ability to earn an incomeis what pays the bills, what
helps us save money andeverything, and that's a big
(34:47):
area that's missed.
And there can be times where wejust can't go to work and that
can be very detrimental to thedebt that we just paid off, the
savings account that we justbuilt, and now we can't go to
work for six months for XYZreason.
So those are at least a littlebit on the insurance side.
Longer term for insurance itwould be long-term care,
(35:10):
planning long-term care for myqueer clients.
Their concern tends to be, andeven for myself too, their
concern tends to be how much isthis going to cost?
Who's going to take care of mewhen I get older if I don't have
kids?
Because a lot of times whathappens is kids become the plan.
(35:30):
That's very common and thestate doesn't pay for this stuff
.
The government doesn't pay forthis stuff.
So then we don't have kids.
Then who's left?
So we really have to sell funand practically plan for this.
But there is a way to have aninsurance company, kind of, pay
that bill for you.
Coach Alex Ray (35:51):
Love that.
I feel like.
That's like right there theanswer I wanted to hear.
It was like okay, wait a minute, hold on how much?
Yeah, oh my god.
Melissa Gonzalez (36:01):
Are you sure?
Coach Alex Ray (36:02):
no one else is going to help with this, because
I pay so much goddamn money andtaxes and insurances like are
you sure?
Melissa Gonzalez (36:09):
Yeah, that one's a tough one.
That one's a tough one becauseit's very unfortunately it's
very expensive process to gothrough long-term care.
So Southern California, on thelow end, it's about $5,000 a
month in today's dollars.
I don't pay for that and that'snot for the best care.
And that rate is skyrocketingyear over year.
(36:31):
So we can imagine when you andI are a little bit older we're
probably going to still be superhealthy, hopefully.
Coach Alex Ray (36:40):
Yeah, hopefully, hopefully, independent living,
but, as you said, that's notalways guaranteed.
And it's like a lot offinancial planning is to kind of
help with that thing, the factthat life isn't 100% guaranteed,
preparing for those unexpectedthings.
Melissa Gonzalez (37:02):
Right, it's exactly Prepare for the
unexpected but plan for a reallygood tomorrow and then figure
out how do you still plan forthose things but still have an
amazing life today, or sustain?
I'm working to only plan fortomorrow.
That's not.
Most people want to have a verybalanced life that they're
(37:26):
enjoying today, but they'replanning for a good tomorrow.
Coach Alex Ray (37:30):
Yeah.
What could someone do then tostart connecting with a
financial advisor or findingmore information?
Melissa Gonzalez (37:41):
Absolutely.
Well, you mentioned it earlierthat I absolutely am happy to
help.
I'm happy to help, so they'remore than welcome to reach out
through my website.
There's a way to just kind oflike fill out the little
questionnaire and then it'llsend me a link or a note to
contact and schedule a timetogether.
So that's going to be one waythat, of course, I'm on LinkedIn
and Instagram All those goodsocial media channels they can
(38:05):
reach out to me.
Coach Alex Ray (38:05):
Yeah one of the reasons I really wanted to have
you was so that anyone that'slistening that's like, hey, I
really want to start working onmy financial picture, but most
financial advice out theredoesn't feel like it includes me
or even is aware of what arethe things that I need to look
(38:27):
out for as someone in the LGBTQplus community.
So absolutely all get yourselfconnected with Melissa.
She's going to actuallyunderstand the challenges, the
unique challenges that you'regoing to face, that you have
thought of or that you may nothave thought of at all.
So I really appreciate thatabout you and your expertise.
Melissa Gonzalez (38:48):
Thanks, Alex.
Coach Alex Ray (38:49):
Yeah, let's do two questions from the audience.
So, dr Gretchen Sites, I hope Iam saying your last name
correctly.
Yes, is it possible to generatewealth without investing in
real estate?
Melissa Gonzalez (39:08):
Really good question and the answer is
absolutely yes, absolutely yes.
So there is no right or wrongway on how to build wealth or
generational wealth.
I think I do believe socialmedia has taught a lot of us
that the only way to do it isthe real estate Right.
(39:29):
I think that's very common.
I think that is a way to do it,but not the only way to do it.
The best way to approach itfrom a finding perspective is to
diversify assets and havedifferent ways.
Different wealth-building toolshave to think about yes, real
(39:50):
estate is a great tool.
However, has his downsides.
Or some investment accounts aregreat tools, but they have some
downsides.
So everything is going to havea pro and have a con.
There's no corn product outthere that's going to be perfect
, but it is what feels right toyou as a person, versus doing
(40:16):
something that maybe justdoesn't feel right.
Like, not everybody wants to bea property manager and be a
landlord Not everybody.
I think our society has made alot of people believe that
that's the only way to buildwealth, and that's absolutely
not true.
Best way to look at it is basedon habits.
(40:37):
So what's the percentage ofincome that we're actually
putting away and that's growing?
right, so it's in certain bigsavings, investment accounts and
our real estate.
But the percentage of ourincomes, that's what's going,
that we're actually putting away.
That's what's going to growover time If we're not putting
(40:58):
anything away.
That makes it very challenging.
Coach Alex Ray (41:00):
Right that nothing's growing because it's
not growing.
Melissa Gonzalez (41:04):
That's right yeah.
Coach Alex Ray (41:05):
That on it right there.
That's something that I reallyappreciated.
The first time that we hung outand got coffee and talked was
just that you really center thehow on values.
I felt really comfortabletalking with you and
understanding that, like, okay,wait a minute, you're not
(41:26):
someone that's going to comewith a plan of, okay, well,
here's the step one throughseven.
You have to do all of these andif you don't like them, then
get over it or, sorry, you'rejust hopeless.
You're never going to be able tohave the financial future you
want, and that is kind of theway that I felt, like I was
being talked to in otherfinancial settings was like you
(41:49):
have to do these specific thingsand if you don't, you cannot
succeed financially, or eventhat there's something almost
like wrong with you if you don'tlike this.
And some of us have, like,certain moral obligations with
certain ways of investing ourfinances, and I think that's
probably maybe more common inthe queer community than it is
(42:10):
outside the community for us tobe more aware of where we're
putting our money and being alittle more conscious of I don't
want just growth, I also wantto be doing good with how I
invest my money, absolutely.
Melissa Gonzalez (42:24):
Yeah, absolutely.
Coach Alex Ray (42:25):
And that's so common.
Melissa Gonzalez (42:26):
That is very, very common.
The social, responsibleinvesting that is something that
is more talked about now andit's important.
People want to align theirvalues to what they're putting
their money towards, or evenwhat stores they go to, what
(42:47):
business are they going to payinto for our products or
services.
We look at the HRC scores, welook at a lot to make sure that
they're in alignment.
Yeah.
Coach Alex Ray (43:02):
Absolutely All right.
The second question I have isfrom Mario and he said are there
expenses unique to the LGBTQcommunity that we should plan
for?
Melissa Gonzalez (43:19):
Good question.
I think I touched on one alittle earlier on the long-term
care planning.
I think that one for sure not ahuge concern as a younger
individual, but as we get olderit's something that would play a
role.
So that's going to be one.
And the other one is reallypaying attention to employer
(43:42):
benefits.
What are the benefits that youhave access to If you're looking
to transition?
Are those?
Is that covered through workRight?
Or what portion?
What part of it is covered,what part of it is not?
Or if we're looking to expandthe family, start a family, does
(44:04):
your employer offer some helpor not?
So I think it's a lot of it isemployer-based.
I think those are the two mainones that at least pop up to
mind right now.
Coach Alex Ray (44:15):
Those are great, all right.
Lastly, give us a littlepreview of what they can expect
if they reach out to you.
What does it look like to workwith you?
Melissa Gonzalez (44:26):
So typically we would have an introductory
conversation and it's aconversation just to understand
what's important, what the goalsare of that individual, that
family or that couple, whoeverit is, understand their current
story as to where they're atfinancially, how they got there,
all that, and then understandwhat they're not doing.
(44:50):
I ask a lot of questions Just tounderstand the story and I can
say it's a judgment-free zone,so no right or wrong answers.
It's just really understandingwhat the current scenario is and
where you're headed or theindividual's headed, and then,
assuming we agree on havinganother conversation, typically
(45:13):
we would have another meetingand that's when I would share a
little bit more of thoseobservations of the this is what
steps to take or strategies todo, and then at that point we
can say, okay, should weactually formalize this
relationship and really worktogether?
Should we follow up in a fewmonths, or should we reconnect
(45:34):
in another week, or is itanother six months?
Whatever it is, we can figureout cadence at that point.
But the first conversation Ican say it's a very it's just an
open conversation where we'refiguring out can we be of value
and help in any way, shape orform, or maybe is it not, maybe
is we're going to give a coupleof pieces of advice and say
(45:58):
let's connect again in sixmonths.
Coach Alex Ray (46:00):
So, again.
Melissa Gonzalez (46:01):
that's.
I'd say it's a very simpleconversation.
The most I say to be preparedfor is have a budget and I would
share like a blank budget tocomplete pre-fill prior to the
conversation, so we can focus onthat.
Okay, love it All right.
Coach Alex Ray (46:17):
Where can they find you, how can people work
with you and who can work withyou?
Melissa Gonzalez (46:24):
Absolutely Great.
So a few places to find me.
So one is on my website, sothat is Melissa Gonzalez dot
nmcom.
So that's one.
And of course there's Instagramand then there's a LinkedIn.
But the best places to get incontact, at least to schedule,
would be my website or LinkedInAre the best places for
(46:47):
scheduling, but Instagramabsolutely.
Send me a message and then wecan always schedule.
Awesome.
Coach Alex Ray (46:53):
And I'll have all that linked up in the show
notes for you and you work withanyone in the US, right?
Melissa Gonzalez (46:59):
Yes, yes, so we have access to clients all
over the US we're right nowlicensed in I might be off of
maybe 28, 29 different states.
Okay, so for whatever reason,I'm not licensed in that
specific state, then absolutelyjust get licensed super quickly.
(47:20):
So that's pretty simple.
Coach Alex Ray (47:22):
Okay, awesome.
Melissa Gonzalez (47:22):
As long as in the US, yeah.
Coach Alex Ray (47:24):
All right, I love it.
All right.
Lastly, I want to just noteeveryone go to the show notes.
You don't even have to rememberthose links.
Everything will be down in theshow notes for you so you can
easily connect with Melissa.
And if you want to be able toask questions on future episodes
, make sure that you visit thelink in the show notes to get
involved in the Instagramchannel.
(47:45):
Once you're in there, you'll beable to ask questions for
future guests.
All right, any final words ofwisdom, advice, confidence, love
that you want to share with us,melissa.
Melissa Gonzalez (47:58):
Oh, you're so sweet.
Well one thank you for havingme.
This was awesome.
Coach Alex Ray (48:01):
You're so welcome.
Melissa Gonzalez (48:02):
I'm absolutely , and I say this it's
everybody's financial journey isdifferent, so a piece of advice
is focus on, like yourself, onyour individual finances and not
(48:22):
compare life to someone else.
It's so easy to play thecomparison game and I think as
long as we focus on just ourdaily habits of proving little
by little, we will go far.
You'll go far financially and,again, there's no right or wrong
answer.
It's just your, it's your path,it's whatever kind of wherever
(48:44):
you want to go, that's whereyou'll go.
But Amazing.
Coach Alex Ray (48:50):
I think that that comparison mentality is so
difficult to get out of.
So, thank you for the reminder,because it makes such a big
difference and we do realizethat.
Okay, that's what's happeningand put that aside.
Yeah, so much more.
I think our financial picturescan look so much more hopeful
(49:11):
and exciting when we're notcomparing to anyone else Exactly
.
Melissa Gonzalez (49:17):
It's your journey.
You're an individual.
Coach Alex Ray (49:19):
Yep.
Well, Seth, thank you so muchfor coming on the podcast today
and sharing all of your wisdomwith us.
I really appreciate you beinghere.
Melissa Gonzalez (49:27):
Absolutely.
You're so sweet.
Thanks, Alex.
Coach Alex Ray (49:29):
You're welcome.
All right, everyone.
I'll see you on the nextepisode.
Bye.
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