In this episode, I speak with Sarah Cannata, creator of Storytelling for the Soul, embodied processing practitioner, and long-time introvert who believes in the healing power of writing. Sarah helps women in midlife and beyond reconnect with themselves through a unique blend of body-based trauma-informed support and embodied journaling.
We explore how writing can be more than self-expression—it can be a path home to ourselves. Sarah shares how trauma lives in the body, why safety is the foundation of healing, and how introverts can use journaling to process difficult emotions, navigate tricky conversations, and feel more seen and heard—without having to perform or pretend.
If you've ever struggled to speak your truth, or felt that your quiet nature holds you back, this conversation will affirm your worth, your voice, and your way of being.
Key Talking Points:
- What embodied processing is—and how it supports healing at a nervous system level
- Why journaling is a powerful tool for introverts, especially during midlife transitions
- How to begin journaling in a trauma-informed way (hint: don’t start with your hardest memory)
- The importance of attunement, presence, and holding safe space in client work
- How introverts can honour their energy while still showing up visibly and courageously
- The surprising role of Buffy the Vampire Slayer in Sarah’s quiet warrior journey
- Why being visible isn’t about being loud—it’s about being authentic and aligned
Resources & Links:
Learn more about Sarah’s work: www.sarahcannata.com
Follow Sarah on socials: @storytellingforthesoul on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn
Call to Action:
- If you enjoyed this episode, subscribe to The Quiet Warrior Podcast for more inspiring insights and leave us a 5-star rating on your podcast app to help introverts and quiet achievers worldwide find their voice.
- Sign up for The Visible Introvert newsletter for a real, tell-it-like-it-is look at life and work through the eyes of introverts and those who work with them.
- Join The Visible Introvert Academy if you’re ready to elevate from quiet achiever into a Quiet Warrior in your life and work.
This episode was edited by Aura House Productions
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, I'm Serena Loh.
If you're used to hearing thatintroverts are shy, anxious,
antisocial and lack goodcommunication and leadership
skills, then this podcast is foryou.
You're about to fall in lovewith the calm, introspective and
profound person that you are.
Discover what's fun, unique andpowerful about being an
(00:21):
introvert, and how to make theelegant transition from quiet
achiever to quiet warrior inyour life and work anytime you
want, in more ways than youimagined possible.
Welcome.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Hello and welcome to the Quiet Warrior podcast.
My guest today is Sarah Kanata,the creator of Storytelling for
the Soul.
Sarah uses journaling andbody-based practices to help
women in midlife and beyondreconnect with themselves and
gently shift how they live andfeel.
Sarah's work is rooted in livedexperience, deep exploration
(01:00):
and a commitment to safe,trauma-informed support.
And a commitment to safe,trauma-informed support.
In addition to being ajournalist, she's a certified
embodied processing practitionerthrough the Centre for Healing.
Embodied processing is abody-based approach to working
with trauma.
Sarah creates a nurturing spacewhere people feel seen, heard
(01:21):
and held.
Welcome, sarah, to the QuietWarrior podcast.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
Thank you very much.
That makes me sound reallyimpressive what you just read
around.
I'm like.
Thank you very much for havingme and for your patience,
because I think you may haveinvited me on this podcast about
two years ago and it has takenme this long to get my act
together and actually be herewith you.
(01:47):
So thank you very much.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Oh, you're so welcome .
I'm so glad you're here,because now we have even more to
talk about.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Yes, very true, because we've known each other
longer now and I think some ofour paths have overlapped as
well, especially in thetrauma-informed space.
So I hope that this is a reallydeep, deep, rich and
informative conversation foryour audience.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
It will be, because the first thing I want to ask
you is what exactly is embodiedprocessing?
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Yes.
So embodied processing, whichyou explain in the intro, is a
training that I've done throughthe Centre for Healing here in
Australia.
So essentially it's abody-based approach to working
with trauma.
So what that means is traumaoccurs in the body.
And I want to be very clear Iam not framing myself as a
(02:43):
trauma expert.
There are far better people outthere, like Irene Lyon, dr
Gabor Marte, so many more whoare far better placed to talk
about trauma than I am.
But what I say is that I'mtrauma informed.
So what that means is I have anawareness that trauma is
subjective.
So what that means is somethingcould happen to me and
(03:07):
something could happen to youSame exact event.
I will walk away traumatized.
You will never give it a secondthought in your life.
You'll just move on.
So we're all very unique.
Our makeup is different.
Some of us have more sensitivenervous systems.
It's just the way that we'reactually brought up.
(03:29):
So with embodied processing,essentially what we do is we use
something called a resource.
So a resource is something thatis either internal or external
to us that can help us to feelsafe, supported, comforted.
Some people will not resonatewith any of those words, so what
(03:51):
I say, is the opposite ofoverwhelm, and most people can
understand what that means andwe use that as our island of
safety so that whenever we goback through the EP process.
So actually I have to clarifyin my business now I don't
really do the EP process fromstart to finish as I was trained
(04:13):
.
I weave in what you describedas embodied journaling.
However, I do apply theprinciples of embodied
processing.
Really, the foundation of theembodied processing and the
foundation of my work as well isthat resource, because without
safety we can't process traumain the body and we can't heal.
(04:35):
So essentially, the onenon-negotiable that I have with
all of my clients, regardless ofwhy they decide to come to me,
what they need help with theircircumstance, it doesn't matter.
It's that resource pieceBecause if we don't have that
safety, we can't safely process.
Whatever may surface in thesessions as we journal.
(04:58):
And then with embodiedprocessing itself, you actually
bring up something.
So generally there's a triggeras part of the process that
people would like to explore.
So for example, let's just I'mgoing to use one that's close to
my heart public speakinganxiety.
So say I wanted to explore thatin the session we would do a
(05:19):
resource first to make sure thatI have that place of the
opposite of overwhelm or safety,comfort, support to travel to.
I will add that that can beanything and I've had everything
and anything while working withpeople pets, memories, food,
songs and if people reallycannot think of anything, they
(05:43):
can take themselves off to animagined place.
So we have that resource readyto go and then we basically
bring in the trigger and we takeit from there and we see what
happens.
And then there's a number ofdifferent techniques that you
can do as part of EP.
So, for example, breathingexercises, pendulation so
(06:04):
basically stepping into thetrigger and then trying to step
back into the resource so thatyou're proceeding safely.
But essentially, if I had towrap a description of embodied
processing in a sentence or two,I would say that what we are
trying to do is to allowourselves to feel the sensations
(06:24):
that weren't able to process atthat time in our nervous system
, and what's happened is thatthey're stuck.
And then what happens is thatnext time I go off and try to
speak, I get all the feels thatI'm getting from the fight
flight freeze fawn.
People will typically have somekind of understanding of those
(06:46):
terms and I'm almost stuck inthat moment in time because my
body doesn't know that I'm notin that moment.
So my body thinks that I am indanger.
Essentially.
So that's my understanding ofEP.
But, like I said, I am not atrauma expert.
I'm someone who would callmyself trauma informed and I
(07:10):
don't really follow the embodiedprocessing structure as it was
taught from start to finish.
So what I do in my sessions,like I said, we have the
resourcing piece and then,depending upon what people are
coming to me to explore, I willgive them journal prompts and I
will give them time to write.
I might play some gentle music,depending upon the client.
(07:33):
As they are writing, I will askthem to feel into the felt
sense of their body.
So it's not just a brain dump,it's not just a cerebral
experience.
And then, once they're finishedwriting, if they feel triggered
while they're writing, so Iwill be watching them while
they're doing this and takingnote and noticing things like
(07:55):
their breathing, their facialexpressions, all those kinds of
things, and they know that I amthere if they need my support,
we can go back to the resourceat any time if they're feeling
overwhelmed.
If they get through the journalprompt, we have a debrief and
they can share whatever theyfeel comfortable sharing.
And that is essentially thereally rough structure of a
(08:17):
session, because I do run it alittle bit differently depending
upon the client.
With some people I will usesome of the EP techniques, so,
for example, deep breathing, thephysiological sigh shaking,
kind of just depends.
It's also very I have foundthis and I think this has gotten
(08:38):
better as I've done moresessions and have trusted myself
along the way.
It's a very intuitive processfor me now, so it's a feeling of
what people need, becausesometimes they actually can't
articulate it clearly in asession.
If that makes sense, I'm sureyou might get the same thing
sometimes with clients.
Serena.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Yes, I wanted to explore this concept of
intuition a bit more with you,because you did mention that you
had to learn to trust yourselfmore in the process.
So what was it like initially,when you first started out on
this path, in this?
Speaker 3 (09:15):
business Completely nerve-wracking.
I felt like a massive imposter.
And, to be honest with you, Ihave always written.
So I've been keeping a journalsince I was about 12 years old.
I wouldn't have called itembodied journaling back then
because I wouldn't have had thelanguage to actually use those
words.
(09:35):
So I have always known throughpersonal experience how powerful
writing can be.
So as I grew, evolved, studiedjournalism I've worked in
communications for over a decadenow.
I started working with clientsin my business as well, using
journaling.
Then I started to discover okay, it's not just me who finds
(09:58):
writing and journaling powerful.
Other people are having thesame outcomes from writing.
There's a bunch of science outthere that proves what I'm
saying, especially aroundexpressive writing.
So that element was alwaysthere.
Embodied processing was really agame changer, and that came
(10:19):
about two or three years agobecause what would happen I knew
with myself.
I knew it with clients.
We would write, and writing canbe triggering, much like any
kind of talking or anything likethat, because essentially, when
(10:39):
you are delving into somethingthat may be traumatic, you're
kind of reliving the experience.
You're taking yourself back tothat situation.
And until I actually studiedembodied processing, I didn't
quite know what to do whenpeople were triggered Besides
being there for them, obviously,being present, checking in with
(11:03):
them afterwards, afterwards,all that kind of stuff I didn't
actually know what to do.
So embodied processing was themassive game changer with that.
And then to your question, it'sa matter of practice.
So when I first started withembodied processing and taking
people through the process as astudent before I became
(11:25):
certified, it was incrediblyscary, because the thing is
you're always fearful thatyou're going to take people to a
place that you don't know whatto do and you can't bring them
back.
So there's always that fear.
But over time, as I'veessentially, I guess, moulded
the process to suit where I seemy expertise, which is very much
(11:46):
in journaling, writingcommunications, and then gotten
more experience with that Ithink it's just the more
sessions that I've done youstart picking up patterns and
noticing things, and then thefunny thing that also happens is
you tend to actually attractpeople who are pretty similar to
you.
(12:06):
So it's almost like you'reattuned during the session and
there's a connection there, andat the end of the day, if
intuition fails, you can justask the person how are you doing
, are you okay?
Speaker 2 (12:24):
I love what you said there about attunement and
attracting the same kind ofpeople or people who are on your
frequency, because it takes alot of that performance anxiety
out of the equation and that wassomething that used to bother
me a lot trying to anticipateahead of time who I was going to
be working with, what was goingto happen in the session, paid
(12:44):
ahead of time, who I was goingto be working with, what was
going to happen in the session.
So if your clients are all moreor less resonant with you, then
you already have that trust andthat rapport which makes it so
much easier to work in a sessionwhere something triggering what
has been helpful for you as anintrovert in starting and
(13:10):
maintaining this businessBecause I understand you've been
in this business for about 10years now and I saw a Facebook
post of yours quite recentlywhich really intrigued me where
you talked about the fivelearnings after 10 years in
business and one of the thingsyou said there one of the five
was that you said my nervoussystem is my business partner.
(13:34):
Can you talk to us about that?
Speaker 3 (13:36):
Mm-hmm.
So just to clarify, it's been10 years in business in total in
storytelling for the soul, inbusiness in total in
Storytelling for the Soul.
It's been three years now.
But either way, business isbusiness.
I've had a lot of ups and downs.
I've had three businesses intotal.
First one was really profitableand successful.
(13:59):
The problem was I didn't enjoyit so I walked away.
Second one, I essentiallygutted by trying to monetize it,
so that one kind of dissolvednaturally.
And now we are on storytellingfor the soul, which I think is
I'm doing air quotes now the one.
Just to give a little bit ofbackground to why I'm saying 10
years.
To be honest with you, I had todo my own work as part of the
(14:23):
process.
So when I did the embodiedprocessing, yes, it was for
professional reasons, because Iwanted to be able to weave it in
to my business, and I was alsovery aware of what I spoke about
earlier, that I've got allthese people, including myself.
We get to a certain point, weget triggered.
What's next?
I'm not 100% sure what to do.
(14:45):
So there was that side of it.
But on the other side it wasalso very personally motivated
as well.
So when I discovered EP, it wasbecause I was really
essentially looking intomind-body connection to do with
having some pretty severe gutissues and I'd gone and done all
(15:05):
of the medical testing underthe world that you usually do.
Everything had been ruled out.
I ended up with a diagnosis ofirritable bowel syndrome.
I was told sorry you just, thisis something that you're just
gonna have to manage Now.
I was in my 30s at the time.
I'm only 37 now, but that'spretty devastating to hear that
(15:28):
because gut issues can be reallylife limiting.
So I knew I had to do somethingto try to help myself.
So that was when I starteddoing my own research and I
found embodied processing, senseof healing, massively
supportive community and Istarted doing the EP work and
I've continued doing theembodied processing work along
(15:50):
with the embodied journaling onmyself and as I've done that,
what has really happened hasbeen an unfolding.
So I think the most valuablepiece of advice I can give to
people in terms of business andI know it's a buzzword, but it's
authenticity.
So I don't show up and play acharacter anymore which I felt
(16:16):
very much like I was doing earlyon in my business.
Especially with the firstbusiness I felt I had to be this
put together, professional,confident person.
I was working in PR at the time, so it was public relations for
people who aren't familiar.
So it was kind of part of thatcharacter and that identity that
(16:36):
I had created for myself.
These days I'm a lot moreappreciative of who I actually
am at my core and I am notafraid to say that.
I'm a lot more appreciative ofwho I actually am at my core and
I am not afraid to say that I'mawkward because I am.
I'm introverted because I am.
I'm not always the smoothest ofpeople because that's who I am.
(16:57):
So by the time people haveconsumed my content, heard me
speaking, done my training, theyknow who I am.
They know who they're gettingin the sessions.
They're not expecting somepolished, perfect person to rock
up, they're expecting me torock up.
And with embodied processing weare taught we're not there to
(17:19):
fix people because we're not.
We're there to hold space forpeople.
And I truly believe, after twoor three years doing the
embodied processing work, thatis one of the most undervalued,
underrated skills and abilitiesa person can have truly holding
(17:40):
space and just listening topeople.
Not listening to reply, notlistening to solve their
problems, but just holding asafe container and environment.
And it's pretty sad because, ifyou reflect on the state of the
world at the moment, we aremore connected technology-wise
(18:00):
than ever before, yet somehowwe're more disconnected than
ever before.
People are, generally speaking,lonelier, they're living in
their own silos.
So I honestly believe, and Iknow, that artificial
intelligence and all kinds oftechnology is popping up, but
nothing can replace humanconnection.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Would you say that being introverted also helps
with this idea of?
I seem to have lost my train ofthought.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
That's okay.
I think introverted helps me inimmeasurable ways.
I think and I know that Isuspect that there is still a
lot of, I guess, falsitiesaround what people think
introversion is.
So there's still this stigmaaround introversion meaning that
people are antisocial, morealong that train of thought.
(19:06):
It's actually not that at all.
It's just you need more time torecharge your batteries and you
recharge your batteries alone.
You're not someone who's goingto be in a big crowd and be able
to recharge your batteries.
So I actually think being anintrovert you may disagree with
that definition, serena, so feelfree to jump in but I think
(19:28):
being an introvert is a massiveasset because in meetings or in
crowds, I'm actually listeningto people.
Rather than thinking about thenext word that I can get in or
wanting to be in front of people.
I'm genuinely listening topeople and I think, naturally,
introverts engage in moreself-reflection than other
(19:52):
people.
So I think we typically have abetter sense of who we are,
which I feel like in this 24-7modern world is super important,
because if you don't know whoyou are, the world's going to
tell you who you are.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Thank you for clarifying there.
I think I agree with you moston how you look at introversion.
I also look at it as the way mysocial battery either drains or
gets replenished.
But I wanted to go back to whatyou said earlier about
introversion and holding space.
Do you think being an introvertis what enables us to hold
(20:31):
space?
Some people may not be sofamiliar with you know the idea
of holding space, but you didexplain that it's holding a safe
space and a container forpeople to be themselves, to
express themselves authentically.
Do you think the introvertedside of us is what enables us to
hold space?
Speaker 3 (20:51):
well, I think it helps.
I mean, I think extroverts canhold space too, but I think what
is probably playing a role inthe introversion helping in
terms of holding space is thatwe tend to be observers in the
world.
So there's a lot of well, Ifeel that this is true for me.
(21:12):
There's a lot of almost a senseof being on the outside,
looking in and observing andactually really enjoying.
Just this sounds a bit creepyand stalkerish, but it's not.
It's just generally reallyenjoying, just watching and
paying attention to how peopleengage with one another and how
(21:33):
they switch on and off, andlooking at things like body
language as a form ofcommunication, all those kinds
of things.
So I actually think we're justactually almost sponges for
human interaction and then wecan, and then, if you add the
self-reflection into that, Ithink that that just makes us
(21:54):
really well equipped to holdspace for people.
Also, just the ability to notwant to be constantly talking or
not wanting to be the personwho has the last word, and just
allowing there to be silence andyou don't have to have the
answer and you can.
Just I think that this isactually one of the most
(22:17):
underrated things.
People are very uncomfortablewith silence.
If you notice, if you're in awork meeting and you just let
the silence hang in the air andyou look around, you will find
most people are very, veryuncomfortable with it, whereas I
almost feel like my.
(22:37):
I guess strongest relationshipsare defined by how long I can
stay silent with someone andfeel comfortable rather than
uncomfortable.
And, like I said, a big part ofthe embodied processing
training is not trying to fixpeople, which means you don't
have to have the answers.
And I think one of the mostfrustrating things for people
(22:58):
because I mean, I've definitelyexperienced this before is if
you're seeking someone to justlisten and instead of listening
they try to problem shoot foryou and that's not what you need
in that moment, because realityis no one knows what it's like
to walk around in our body, likewith our experiences, with our
(23:21):
perspective, our lens on theworld.
That is one thing that is 100%unique to us.
People can have empathy, peoplecan experience similar things,
but you're the only one in yourbody experiencing this world as
Serena Lowe.
That's not going to change, noteven with AI, surprisingly.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Not even with the AI online therapist nowadays.
Yes, I find that interestingbecause I think it's also human
nature that when we encountersomeone who's suffering, someone
who's going through a difficulttime, that altruistic side of
us just wants to reach out andhelp and connect and solve the
problem as you say, which isn'talways helpful because it
(24:06):
depends what the person islooking for.
If they're looking for asolution, then yes, they are
open to it.
But I think it's because weassume and we don't ask that
question and we don't clarifyand we just jump in and offer
solutions and why don't you dothis and why don't you do that
and have you tried this?
Which then, of course, makesthe person feel very judged.
So, with introverts and writingand expressing themselves
(24:34):
authentically, once they haveexpressed themselves, what do
they do with all that?
What has that enabled them todo?
Speaker 3 (24:44):
I think there's a couple of different.
I'm going to on my ownexperience here, because I think
the way that I have foundwriting to be most helpful is in
basically practicingpotentially difficult
conversations with people.
I find that if I can, even ifthe conversation goes nothing
like I anticipate, I just feellike writing down what might
(25:09):
happen, what I might say if thishappens, what I might say if
that happens, is incrediblyhelpful.
So one of the things that Istruggle with is that often I
take time to process.
So if you ask me a questionunless it's like a black and
white, one or two kind ofquestion, if you're asking me
for my opinion and for me todraw on my experience or
(25:31):
expertise, I like to process andI like to mull over and I like
to consider things from alldifferent perspectives.
And I feel like in this worldin real time, you just often
don't get that opportunity tolean into that power of the
pause.
So I feel like I do that a lotwith my journaling and it's
(25:51):
especially helpful withdifficult conversations.
I think introverts sometimeshave difficulties expressing
themselves just because peoplejump on top of us before they
actually allow us to speak.
So I think you know there's allthose kinds of things.
There's also different methodsfor what people do with their
(26:13):
journaling.
So some people destroy it, somepeople like shredding it, some
people like keeping it and thenreflecting back, say, end of the
week, end of the month.
This is a good exerciseactually for introverts and
asking themselves some reallybasic questions what is
consistently draining me?
What is consistently energizingme?
(26:34):
Out of those two things, what'swithin my power to control?
If it's not within your powerto control, you should just drop
it because there's no point intrying to do anything about it.
But if you can actively improveyour life and do more of the
things that are energizing youand less of the things that are
(26:54):
draining you, writing can be areally good way to actually
recognize those patterns,because most of us go about our
day pretty much going throughthe motions.
Let's face it.
We know we have to take thekids to school.
We know we have to go to workschool.
We know we have to go to work.
At work we'll have ourdedicated tasks, we'll have lots
(27:15):
of meetings, we'll come home,get the kids dinner and then
repeat, do the same thing overand over again.
So it can be really easy to getinto that routine.
So I think journaling givespeople space to reflect and also
in an environment where they'renot going to be judged, and I
(27:36):
think that's probably the mostpowerful thing I've found.
There's a blank page waitingfor you.
It's for your eyes only.
You can write whatever you want.
If you're concerned thatsomeone's going to find it, you
can shred it.
I think that that is just soincredibly powerful.
And then probably the otherthing that I would add to that
is it's just so accessible formost people.
(27:59):
There's a lot of healingmodalities out there and I'm not
going to sit here and saythey're not valuable.
I think I would say journalingand what I do complements
healing.
Does not replace anyprofessional support or any kind
of other practice that peopleneed, but it can certainly
(28:21):
complement it.
And out of everything, it's themost accessible, and what I
mean by that is people need, andwhat I mean by that is people
need paper, pen or something totype with, and they're good to
go.
I have people who have beenliving in their car who are
journaling.
So to me that shows the greatvalue of this work, that it's
(28:53):
just so accessible to everyone,and those are the kind of
stories that make me reallyhappy, because these people in
their car who have foundthemselves in difficult
circumstances and trying times,they can still get a notepad and
a pen, use a journal prompt andthey can feel into where
they're at in their life.
And people can use journalingat any time 3am, if they wake up
(29:15):
, I mean, you're obviously notgoing to call your best friend
or a counsellor or apsychologist at 3am.
Even if you called them,they're not going to answer,
let's face it.
But journaling is there for youall the time and I think that
is the greatest value.
Accessibility, I mean.
Obviously people can developtheir skill over time.
(29:39):
I would say to people if you'recompletely new to journaling,
don't start by looking into themost traumatic experience of
your life.
That's a very bad idea.
Start at surface level.
Start with things like whatmade me happy today, what upset
me today, and as you're doingthat, try to connect with your
body as well, because I thinkthe other issue that I see with
(30:02):
the people who come to me andthey tend to be women in midlife
and beyond they don't feeltheir body until something is
going very wrong with their bodyand their body is basically
screaming at them and I've beenthere too.
That's essentially how thejourney started, with embodied
processing.
I got into this work because Ihad to, because I got to this
(30:24):
dead end with my gut issues andI didn't want to live that way
for the rest of my life.
So often it does take somethinglike that to make us look and
think about our lifeholistically, rather than just
running through our list ofdeadlines, ticking off
achievements.
All that kind of stuff meansnothing when you start having
(30:46):
health issues.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Do you think also it's the system that is set up
in a way that disconnects usfrom ourselves and from each
other and from our own bodies?
100%?
Speaker 3 (31:00):
And reality is intellect is highly valued in
our society.
However, I do feel like peopleare starting to wake up and see
that maybe being switched on24-7 on screens, go, go, go, go
go isn't the best way forward toattain the kind of lifestyle
(31:26):
that they want.
I think a lot of this alsocomes down to the life stage
that you're in.
I mean, that's what I found aswell.
So like if you wereinterviewing me in my early
twenties, this would be acompletely different interview,
because I was highly, highly,highly ambitious.
All I could see was career.
That's it.
(31:48):
Now that I'm 37 and approachingmidlife, things have changed
considerably and, yes, work andpurpose is super important to me
still very, very, veryimportant to me.
There are other aspects of mylife, like health and wellbeing,
and almost at this point again,this is probably a life stage
(32:12):
thing, but because I'm at thatpoint where now I'm looking at
the second phase of my life,it's almost like everything is
on the table for considerationand you bring your wealth of
knowledge and experience thatyou have up to now to make those
decisions.
I'm sure everyone is differentand I think maybe if there is
(32:35):
certainly a pressure isn't thereand maybe a lot of that comes
down to the circles that you'rein as well.
The other really valuable thingabout embodied processing was
the community of people, becausefor the first time in my life,
I actually found people who arelike me.
So that connection showed methat, yes, I do belong somewhere
(33:01):
and I do understand.
Also, I will say in mysituation, I don't have kids and
I'm single, so life isbasically 100% about me, which
is not not the situation thatmost people find themselves in,
and obviously they're jugglingmultiple things kids, a partner,
maybe elderly parents.
(33:22):
There could be a lot going onthere, but I do think in the
modern there's a pressure toconstantly attain more.
And at what point do you askyourself well, when is enough
enough?
If you could spend your wholelife just chasing the next thing
and I'm sure many people do andeveryone is different.
(33:43):
If that is what makes peoplehappy, good for them, and
everyone is different.
If that is what makes peoplehappy, good for them.
For me, that doesn't make mehappy to just constantly chase
materialism and that kind ofthing.
And I think the introversionhas helped with that because,
like I said, I feel likeintroverts self-reflect more
(34:04):
Obviously.
Journaling is often areflective exercise as well.
So, and the fact that no kids,no partner, if you think about
it, it's a lot of time thatyou're spending alone.
So, even though I'm 37,compared to an average person in
terms of the amount of timethat I spend, on just reflection
(34:27):
I'm probably like 57.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
Now I want to talk about something more fun, but
it's still to do with the quietwarrior concept.
I hear you have a black belt.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
Well, I had a black belt many many moons ago.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
Yes, well, you don't lose the black belt.
So I think you can safely sayyou have one and also you are a
super fan of this particular TVseries.
That's to do with a lot ofkicking and martial arts and you
know really kick-ass style.
That's really different fromand I'm trying to picture you
(35:13):
with your black belt and doingall those moves.
Speaker 3 (35:15):
So tell me more.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
Tell me more about this enthusiasm that you have
for Buffy the vampire slayer,because I did remember watching
her as well, but I never gothooked to the same extent.
Speaker 3 (35:30):
How long do you have?
I must say I don't know ifyou've seen it on my Facebook
page, but they're doing a rebootnow, which excites me very,
very much.
But essentially I firstremember watching Buffy in grade
six, so that was like seasonone.
It was on very early, at about7 pm or something, and then over
(35:54):
time, as the seasons progressed, it started getting later and
later at night and my parentswould never let me watch it in
real time and I had a little VHStape where we taped it and I
watched it back the next day VHStape where we taped it and I
watched it back the next day andI honestly think it's just one
of the most underratedtelevision shows.
That was so far ahead of itstime.
(36:15):
It had a female heroine andbasically I think the genius
behind it is that it flips somany of the standard stereotypes
on its head.
You've got this very small,petite woman who you would never
expect could do the things thatshe can do, and she is
(36:36):
essentially the slayer and thechosen one and the things that
big, scary monsters are afraidof at night, and the way that
Buffy works is that a lot of thethings that surface in the show
are actually metaphors for reallife.
So like, for example, inseasons one to three, Buffy and
(36:58):
her friends go to high schooland Sunnydale, which is the
place where the high school is,is on the hell mouth.
Now, for most of us, highschool was hell, right.
So that's just one example of ametaphor.
In later seasons so one ofBuffy's best friends is Willow
(37:19):
and basically Willow ends upgetting addicted to magic and
she becomes evil Willow.
I'm laughing because it doesactually sound comical when you
explain it to people like that.
But you know you can swap themagic addiction for any other
addiction that people generallyhave on this planet, which
(37:39):
anything can be an addiction.
So I just think it was so farahead of its time and, to be
honest with you, I think I'vebecome more of a super fan as
I've aged and watched thingsback, because I remember
watching things at the time andfeeling a certain way.
But then watching them back asa 37-year-old I'm like, yeah,
(38:03):
it's totally, totally different,totally, totally different.
Where else would you like me togo?
I feel like I could talk allday well.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
I think that's a perfect way to wrap up, because
we are talking to introverts,we're talking to quiet achievers
.
They have aspirations of beingthat quiet warrior who, at the
time that they need to, canexpress themselves authentically
, like we talked about, can becourageous, can have those
difficult conversations, and youtalked about how embodied
writing can actually help themprocess, maybe even prepare for
(38:39):
that difficult conversation.
We've talked about how, howsociety can underestimate the
quiet ones, the ones who don'tlook like they could wreak as
much havoc as they can, who areactually really, really powerful
(38:59):
, but most of the time they justwalk on, they just live their
lives quietly until somethingrequires them to step up.
And that really is the conceptof the podcast that there are
times when we feel called or arecalled to rise up into
something greater than what wethink we're capable of, and
usually that's in service tosomething that's bigger than
(39:21):
ourselves.
I find that when we're allself-focused, we get that
performance anxiety and we'reworried about getting it wrong,
worried about being judged.
But when something bigger is atstake like you know, with Buffy
and all the demons that sheslays when it's for somebody
else, when you're trying torescue or save a loved one or
protect a loved one.
(39:41):
I think that's when that warriorenergy or that warrior side of
us comes out, and so what I'mtrying to do, also with the
podcast, is to encourage more ofthat warrior side to show
itself at the right time, sothat we're not just saying, oh,
I'm an introvert, so I can't dopublic speaking, I'm an
introvert so I can't sell and Ican't promote myself.
We're saying, no, I'm wiredthis way.
(40:04):
Yes, I may be reluctant to doit, it might make me a little
bit nervous, but if I have to doit I can, and I know what the
purpose is, that I'm doing it,which is important, because you
talked a lot about purpose aswell, and I think that having
that clarity around why we dothings, why we engage in
uncomfortable conversations ordifficult interactions, is
(40:25):
really important for theintrovert that wants to be
visible and want to make animpact in the world.
Speaker 3 (40:31):
Yeah, I agree, and I think one of the most important
things as an introvert to learnis that I have to work to grow
my capacity to be okay withbeing uncomfortable and being
uncomfortable is not a bad thing.
And, going back to what yousaid earlier, at a certain point
the why and the message becomesmore important to you and, I
(40:58):
guess, drives you and pulls youmore than the fears do, and I
think that's essentially thetipping point for most people.
That doesn't mean that thingsstill aren't challenging.
They are.
I am never going to be OprahWinfrey and love public speaking
.
That's not who I am.
But because I truly believe inembodied journaling and the work
(41:21):
that I'm doing, I can getmyself to a level where I can be
okay with it and I can think of.
Well, if I reach one or twointroverts and they start
journaling as a result of thispodcast, it was worth putting
myself on the line A hundredpercent.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
Beautiful.
I love that spirit.
So where can people find youand connect with you, Sarah?
Speaker 3 (41:45):
So my website is the best place, so it's
sarahcanadacom.
I'm sure you have it in theshow notes so I won't spell my
last name and then all acrosssocial media, you can either
Google my name or Storytellingfor the Soul Facebook, instagram
, linkedin.
I'm everywhere, basically.
Speaker 2 (42:06):
And can I say how super visible you are across
socials for someone who saysyou're an introvert, you like to
be private, but because thereis a message that you want to
share and you want to impact andinspire other people, it's
worth putting yourself out there, putting yourself on the line.
I love that courage and I lovethat visibility of yours.
That's done consistently andconsciously.
(42:27):
So thank you for coming on theshow today and make sure you
check out Sarah's links in theshow notes so that you can get
in touch with her.
If you're interested in findingout more about her embodied
journaling work and if you'veenjoyed this conversation and
want more like this, make sureto leave a five-star rating and
review so that the Quiet Warriorpodcast can reach more
introverts around the world.
(42:49):
See you on the next episode.
I'm so grateful that you're heretoday.
If you found this contentvaluable, please share it on
your social media channels andsubscribe to the show on your
favorite listening platform.
Together, we can help moreintroverts thrive favorite
listening platform.
Together, we can help moreintroverts thrive.
(43:10):
To receive more upliftingcontent like this, connect with
me on Instagram at Serena LuQuiet Warrior Coach.
Thank you for sharing your timeand your energy with me.
See you on the next episode.
Hi, I'm Serena Loh.
If you're used to hearing thatintroverts are shy, anxious,
antisocial and lack goodcommunication and leadership
skills, then this podcast is foryou.
You're about to fall in lovewith the calm, introspective and
profound person that you are.
Discover what's fun, unique andpowerful about being an
(00:21):
introvert, and how to make theelegant transition from quiet
achiever to quiet warrior inyour life and work anytime you
want, in more ways than youimagined possible.
Welcome.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Hello and welcome to the Quiet Warrior podcast.
My guest today is Sarah Kanata,the creator of Storytelling for
the Soul.
Sarah uses journaling andbody-based practices to help
women in midlife and beyondreconnect with themselves and
gently shift how they live andfeel.
Sarah's work is rooted in livedexperience, deep exploration
(01:00):
and a commitment to safe,trauma-informed support.
And a commitment to safe,trauma-informed support.
In addition to being ajournalist, she's a certified
embodied processing practitionerthrough the Centre for Healing.
Embodied processing is abody-based approach to working
with trauma.
Sarah creates a nurturing spacewhere people feel seen, heard
(01:21):
and held.
Welcome, sarah, to the QuietWarrior podcast.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
Thank you very much.
That makes me sound reallyimpressive what you just read
around.
I'm like.
Thank you very much for havingme and for your patience,
because I think you may haveinvited me on this podcast about
two years ago and it has takenme this long to get my act
together and actually be herewith you.
(01:47):
So thank you very much.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Oh, you're so welcome .
I'm so glad you're here,because now we have even more to
talk about.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Yes, very true, because we've known each other
longer now and I think some ofour paths have overlapped as
well, especially in thetrauma-informed space.
So I hope that this is a reallydeep, deep, rich and
informative conversation foryour audience.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
It will be, because the first thing I want to ask
you is what exactly is embodiedprocessing?
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Yes.
So embodied processing, whichyou explain in the intro, is a
training that I've done throughthe Centre for Healing here in
Australia.
So essentially it's abody-based approach to working
with trauma.
So what that means is traumaoccurs in the body.
And I want to be very clear Iam not framing myself as a
(02:43):
trauma expert.
There are far better people outthere, like Irene Lyon, dr
Gabor Marte, so many more whoare far better placed to talk
about trauma than I am.
But what I say is that I'mtrauma informed.
So what that means is I have anawareness that trauma is
subjective.
So what that means is somethingcould happen to me and
(03:07):
something could happen to youSame exact event.
I will walk away traumatized.
You will never give it a secondthought in your life.
You'll just move on.
So we're all very unique.
Our makeup is different.
Some of us have more sensitivenervous systems.
It's just the way that we'reactually brought up.
(03:29):
So with embodied processing,essentially what we do is we use
something called a resource.
So a resource is something thatis either internal or external
to us that can help us to feelsafe, supported, comforted.
Some people will not resonatewith any of those words, so what
(03:51):
I say, is the opposite ofoverwhelm, and most people can
understand what that means andwe use that as our island of
safety so that whenever we goback through the EP process.
So actually I have to clarifyin my business now I don't
really do the EP process fromstart to finish as I was trained
(04:13):
.
I weave in what you describedas embodied journaling.
However, I do apply theprinciples of embodied
processing.
Really, the foundation of theembodied processing and the
foundation of my work as well isthat resource, because without
safety we can't process traumain the body and we can't heal.
(04:35):
So essentially, the onenon-negotiable that I have with
all of my clients, regardless ofwhy they decide to come to me,
what they need help with theircircumstance, it doesn't matter.
It's that resource pieceBecause if we don't have that
safety, we can't safely process.
Whatever may surface in thesessions as we journal.
(04:58):
And then with embodiedprocessing itself, you actually
bring up something.
So generally there's a triggeras part of the process that
people would like to explore.
So for example, let's just I'mgoing to use one that's close to
my heart public speakinganxiety.
So say I wanted to explore thatin the session we would do a
(05:19):
resource first to make sure thatI have that place of the
opposite of overwhelm or safety,comfort, support to travel to.
I will add that that can beanything and I've had everything
and anything while working withpeople pets, memories, food,
songs and if people reallycannot think of anything, they
(05:43):
can take themselves off to animagined place.
So we have that resource readyto go and then we basically
bring in the trigger and we takeit from there and we see what
happens.
And then there's a number ofdifferent techniques that you
can do as part of EP.
So, for example, breathingexercises, pendulation so
(06:04):
basically stepping into thetrigger and then trying to step
back into the resource so thatyou're proceeding safely.
But essentially, if I had towrap a description of embodied
processing in a sentence or two,I would say that what we are
trying to do is to allowourselves to feel the sensations
(06:24):
that weren't able to process atthat time in our nervous system
, and what's happened is thatthey're stuck.
And then what happens is thatnext time I go off and try to
speak, I get all the feels thatI'm getting from the fight
flight freeze fawn.
People will typically have somekind of understanding of those
(06:46):
terms and I'm almost stuck inthat moment in time because my
body doesn't know that I'm notin that moment.
So my body thinks that I am indanger.
Essentially.
So that's my understanding ofEP.
But, like I said, I am not atrauma expert.
I'm someone who would callmyself trauma informed and I
(07:10):
don't really follow the embodiedprocessing structure as it was
taught from start to finish.
So what I do in my sessions,like I said, we have the
resourcing piece and then,depending upon what people are
coming to me to explore, I willgive them journal prompts and I
will give them time to write.
I might play some gentle music,depending upon the client.
(07:33):
As they are writing, I will askthem to feel into the felt
sense of their body.
So it's not just a brain dump,it's not just a cerebral
experience.
And then, once they're finishedwriting, if they feel triggered
while they're writing, so Iwill be watching them while
they're doing this and takingnote and noticing things like
(07:55):
their breathing, their facialexpressions, all those kinds of
things, and they know that I amthere if they need my support,
we can go back to the resourceat any time if they're feeling
overwhelmed.
If they get through the journalprompt, we have a debrief and
they can share whatever theyfeel comfortable sharing.
And that is essentially thereally rough structure of a
(08:17):
session, because I do run it alittle bit differently depending
upon the client.
With some people I will usesome of the EP techniques, so,
for example, deep breathing, thephysiological sigh shaking,
kind of just depends.
It's also very I have foundthis and I think this has gotten
(08:38):
better as I've done moresessions and have trusted myself
along the way.
It's a very intuitive processfor me now, so it's a feeling of
what people need, becausesometimes they actually can't
articulate it clearly in asession.
If that makes sense, I'm sureyou might get the same thing
sometimes with clients.
Serena.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Yes, I wanted to explore this concept of
intuition a bit more with you,because you did mention that you
had to learn to trust yourselfmore in the process.
So what was it like initially,when you first started out on
this path, in this?
Speaker 3 (09:15):
business Completely nerve-wracking.
I felt like a massive imposter.
And, to be honest with you, Ihave always written.
So I've been keeping a journalsince I was about 12 years old.
I wouldn't have called itembodied journaling back then
because I wouldn't have had thelanguage to actually use those
words.
(09:35):
So I have always known throughpersonal experience how powerful
writing can be.
So as I grew, evolved, studiedjournalism I've worked in
communications for over a decadenow.
I started working with clientsin my business as well, using
journaling.
Then I started to discover okay, it's not just me who finds
(09:58):
writing and journaling powerful.
Other people are having thesame outcomes from writing.
There's a bunch of science outthere that proves what I'm
saying, especially aroundexpressive writing.
So that element was alwaysthere.
Embodied processing was really agame changer, and that came
(10:19):
about two or three years agobecause what would happen I knew
with myself.
I knew it with clients.
We would write, and writing canbe triggering, much like any
kind of talking or anything likethat, because essentially, when
(10:39):
you are delving into somethingthat may be traumatic, you're
kind of reliving the experience.
You're taking yourself back tothat situation.
And until I actually studiedembodied processing, I didn't
quite know what to do whenpeople were triggered Besides
being there for them, obviously,being present, checking in with
(11:03):
them afterwards, afterwards,all that kind of stuff I didn't
actually know what to do.
So embodied processing was themassive game changer with that.
And then to your question, it'sa matter of practice.
So when I first started withembodied processing and taking
people through the process as astudent before I became
(11:25):
certified, it was incrediblyscary, because the thing is
you're always fearful thatyou're going to take people to a
place that you don't know whatto do and you can't bring them
back.
So there's always that fear.
But over time, as I'veessentially, I guess, moulded
the process to suit where I seemy expertise, which is very much
(11:46):
in journaling, writingcommunications, and then gotten
more experience with that Ithink it's just the more
sessions that I've done youstart picking up patterns and
noticing things, and then thefunny thing that also happens is
you tend to actually attractpeople who are pretty similar to
you.
(12:06):
So it's almost like you'reattuned during the session and
there's a connection there, andat the end of the day, if
intuition fails, you can justask the person how are you doing
, are you okay?
Speaker 2 (12:24):
I love what you said there about attunement and
attracting the same kind ofpeople or people who are on your
frequency, because it takes alot of that performance anxiety
out of the equation and that wassomething that used to bother
me a lot trying to anticipateahead of time who I was going to
be working with, what was goingto happen in the session, paid
(12:44):
ahead of time, who I was goingto be working with, what was
going to happen in the session.
So if your clients are all moreor less resonant with you, then
you already have that trust andthat rapport which makes it so
much easier to work in a sessionwhere something triggering what
has been helpful for you as anintrovert in starting and
(13:10):
maintaining this businessBecause I understand you've been
in this business for about 10years now and I saw a Facebook
post of yours quite recentlywhich really intrigued me where
you talked about the fivelearnings after 10 years in
business and one of the thingsyou said there one of the five
was that you said my nervoussystem is my business partner.
(13:34):
Can you talk to us about that?
Speaker 3 (13:36):
Mm-hmm.
So just to clarify, it's been10 years in business in total in
storytelling for the soul, inbusiness in total in
Storytelling for the Soul.
It's been three years now.
But either way, business isbusiness.
I've had a lot of ups and downs.
I've had three businesses intotal.
First one was really profitableand successful.
(13:59):
The problem was I didn't enjoyit so I walked away.
Second one, I essentiallygutted by trying to monetize it,
so that one kind of dissolvednaturally.
And now we are on storytellingfor the soul, which I think is
I'm doing air quotes now the one.
Just to give a little bit ofbackground to why I'm saying 10
years.
To be honest with you, I had todo my own work as part of the
(14:23):
process.
So when I did the embodiedprocessing, yes, it was for
professional reasons, because Iwanted to be able to weave it in
to my business, and I was alsovery aware of what I spoke about
earlier, that I've got allthese people, including myself.
We get to a certain point, weget triggered.
What's next?
I'm not 100% sure what to do.
(14:45):
So there was that side of it.
But on the other side it wasalso very personally motivated
as well.
So when I discovered EP, it wasbecause I was really
essentially looking intomind-body connection to do with
having some pretty severe gutissues and I'd gone and done all
(15:05):
of the medical testing underthe world that you usually do.
Everything had been ruled out.
I ended up with a diagnosis ofirritable bowel syndrome.
I was told sorry you just, thisis something that you're just
gonna have to manage Now.
I was in my 30s at the time.
I'm only 37 now, but that'spretty devastating to hear that
(15:28):
because gut issues can be reallylife limiting.
So I knew I had to do somethingto try to help myself.
So that was when I starteddoing my own research and I
found embodied processing, senseof healing, massively
supportive community and Istarted doing the EP work and
I've continued doing theembodied processing work along
(15:50):
with the embodied journaling onmyself and as I've done that,
what has really happened hasbeen an unfolding.
So I think the most valuablepiece of advice I can give to
people in terms of business andI know it's a buzzword, but it's
authenticity.
So I don't show up and play acharacter anymore which I felt
(16:16):
very much like I was doing earlyon in my business.
Especially with the firstbusiness I felt I had to be this
put together, professional,confident person.
I was working in PR at the time, so it was public relations for
people who aren't familiar.
So it was kind of part of thatcharacter and that identity that
(16:36):
I had created for myself.
These days I'm a lot moreappreciative of who I actually
am at my core and I am notafraid to say that.
I'm a lot more appreciative ofwho I actually am at my core and
I am not afraid to say that I'mawkward because I am.
I'm introverted because I am.
I'm not always the smoothest ofpeople because that's who I am.
(16:57):
So by the time people haveconsumed my content, heard me
speaking, done my training, theyknow who I am.
They know who they're gettingin the sessions.
They're not expecting somepolished, perfect person to rock
up, they're expecting me torock up.
And with embodied processing weare taught we're not there to
(17:19):
fix people because we're not.
We're there to hold space forpeople.
And I truly believe, after twoor three years doing the
embodied processing work, thatis one of the most undervalued,
underrated skills and abilitiesa person can have truly holding
(17:40):
space and just listening topeople.
Not listening to reply, notlistening to solve their
problems, but just holding asafe container and environment.
And it's pretty sad because, ifyou reflect on the state of the
world at the moment, we aremore connected technology-wise
(18:00):
than ever before, yet somehowwe're more disconnected than
ever before.
People are, generally speaking,lonelier, they're living in
their own silos.
So I honestly believe, and Iknow, that artificial
intelligence and all kinds oftechnology is popping up, but
nothing can replace humanconnection.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Would you say that being introverted also helps
with this idea of?
I seem to have lost my train ofthought.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
That's okay.
I think introverted helps me inimmeasurable ways.
I think and I know that Isuspect that there is still a
lot of, I guess, falsitiesaround what people think
introversion is.
So there's still this stigmaaround introversion meaning that
people are antisocial, morealong that train of thought.
(19:06):
It's actually not that at all.
It's just you need more time torecharge your batteries and you
recharge your batteries alone.
You're not someone who's goingto be in a big crowd and be able
to recharge your batteries.
So I actually think being anintrovert you may disagree with
that definition, serena, so feelfree to jump in but I think
(19:28):
being an introvert is a massiveasset because in meetings or in
crowds, I'm actually listeningto people.
Rather than thinking about thenext word that I can get in or
wanting to be in front of people.
I'm genuinely listening topeople and I think, naturally,
introverts engage in moreself-reflection than other
(19:52):
people.
So I think we typically have abetter sense of who we are,
which I feel like in this 24-7modern world is super important,
because if you don't know whoyou are, the world's going to
tell you who you are.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Thank you for clarifying there.
I think I agree with you moston how you look at introversion.
I also look at it as the way mysocial battery either drains or
gets replenished.
But I wanted to go back to whatyou said earlier about
introversion and holding space.
Do you think being an introvertis what enables us to hold
(20:31):
space?
Some people may not be sofamiliar with you know the idea
of holding space, but you didexplain that it's holding a safe
space and a container forpeople to be themselves, to
express themselves authentically.
Do you think the introvertedside of us is what enables us to
hold space?
Speaker 3 (20:51):
well, I think it helps.
I mean, I think extroverts canhold space too, but I think what
is probably playing a role inthe introversion helping in
terms of holding space is thatwe tend to be observers in the
world.
So there's a lot of well, Ifeel that this is true for me.
(21:12):
There's a lot of almost a senseof being on the outside,
looking in and observing andactually really enjoying.
Just this sounds a bit creepyand stalkerish, but it's not.
It's just generally reallyenjoying, just watching and
paying attention to how peopleengage with one another and how
(21:33):
they switch on and off, andlooking at things like body
language as a form ofcommunication, all those kinds
of things.
So I actually think we're justactually almost sponges for
human interaction and then wecan, and then, if you add the
self-reflection into that, Ithink that that just makes us
(21:54):
really well equipped to holdspace for people.
Also, just the ability to notwant to be constantly talking or
not wanting to be the personwho has the last word, and just
allowing there to be silence andyou don't have to have the
answer and you can.
Just I think that this isactually one of the most
(22:17):
underrated things.
People are very uncomfortablewith silence.
If you notice, if you're in awork meeting and you just let
the silence hang in the air andyou look around, you will find
most people are very, veryuncomfortable with it, whereas I
almost feel like my.
(22:37):
I guess strongest relationshipsare defined by how long I can
stay silent with someone andfeel comfortable rather than
uncomfortable.
And, like I said, a big part ofthe embodied processing
training is not trying to fixpeople, which means you don't
have to have the answers.
And I think one of the mostfrustrating things for people
(22:58):
because I mean, I've definitelyexperienced this before is if
you're seeking someone to justlisten and instead of listening
they try to problem shoot foryou and that's not what you need
in that moment, because realityis no one knows what it's like
to walk around in our body, likewith our experiences, with our
(23:21):
perspective, our lens on theworld.
That is one thing that is 100%unique to us.
People can have empathy, peoplecan experience similar things,
but you're the only one in yourbody experiencing this world as
Serena Lowe.
That's not going to change, noteven with AI, surprisingly.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Not even with the AI online therapist nowadays.
Yes, I find that interestingbecause I think it's also human
nature that when we encountersomeone who's suffering, someone
who's going through a difficulttime, that altruistic side of
us just wants to reach out andhelp and connect and solve the
problem as you say, which isn'talways helpful because it
(24:06):
depends what the person islooking for.
If they're looking for asolution, then yes, they are
open to it.
But I think it's because weassume and we don't ask that
question and we don't clarifyand we just jump in and offer
solutions and why don't you dothis and why don't you do that
and have you tried this?
Which then, of course, makesthe person feel very judged.
So, with introverts and writingand expressing themselves
(24:34):
authentically, once they haveexpressed themselves, what do
they do with all that?
What has that enabled them todo?
Speaker 3 (24:44):
I think there's a couple of different.
I'm going to on my ownexperience here, because I think
the way that I have foundwriting to be most helpful is in
basically practicingpotentially difficult
conversations with people.
I find that if I can, even ifthe conversation goes nothing
like I anticipate, I just feellike writing down what might
(25:09):
happen, what I might say if thishappens, what I might say if
that happens, is incrediblyhelpful.
So one of the things that Istruggle with is that often I
take time to process.
So if you ask me a questionunless it's like a black and
white, one or two kind ofquestion, if you're asking me
for my opinion and for me todraw on my experience or
(25:31):
expertise, I like to process andI like to mull over and I like
to consider things from alldifferent perspectives.
And I feel like in this worldin real time, you just often
don't get that opportunity tolean into that power of the
pause.
So I feel like I do that a lotwith my journaling and it's
(25:51):
especially helpful withdifficult conversations.
I think introverts sometimeshave difficulties expressing
themselves just because peoplejump on top of us before they
actually allow us to speak.
So I think you know there's allthose kinds of things.
There's also different methodsfor what people do with their
(26:13):
journaling.
So some people destroy it, somepeople like shredding it, some
people like keeping it and thenreflecting back, say, end of the
week, end of the month.
This is a good exerciseactually for introverts and
asking themselves some reallybasic questions what is
consistently draining me?
What is consistently energizingme?
(26:34):
Out of those two things, what'swithin my power to control?
If it's not within your powerto control, you should just drop
it because there's no point intrying to do anything about it.
But if you can actively improveyour life and do more of the
things that are energizing youand less of the things that are
(26:54):
draining you, writing can be areally good way to actually
recognize those patterns,because most of us go about our
day pretty much going throughthe motions.
Let's face it.
We know we have to take thekids to school.
We know we have to go to workschool.
We know we have to go to work.
At work we'll have ourdedicated tasks, we'll have lots
(27:15):
of meetings, we'll come home,get the kids dinner and then
repeat, do the same thing overand over again.
So it can be really easy to getinto that routine.
So I think journaling givespeople space to reflect and also
in an environment where they'renot going to be judged, and I
(27:36):
think that's probably the mostpowerful thing I've found.
There's a blank page waitingfor you.
It's for your eyes only.
You can write whatever you want.
If you're concerned thatsomeone's going to find it, you
can shred it.
I think that that is just soincredibly powerful.
And then probably the otherthing that I would add to that
is it's just so accessible formost people.
(27:59):
There's a lot of healingmodalities out there and I'm not
going to sit here and saythey're not valuable.
I think I would say journalingand what I do complements
healing.
Does not replace anyprofessional support or any kind
of other practice that peopleneed, but it can certainly
(28:21):
complement it.
And out of everything, it's themost accessible, and what I
mean by that is people need, andwhat I mean by that is people
need paper, pen or something totype with, and they're good to
go.
I have people who have beenliving in their car who are
journaling.
So to me that shows the greatvalue of this work, that it's
(28:53):
just so accessible to everyone,and those are the kind of
stories that make me reallyhappy, because these people in
their car who have foundthemselves in difficult
circumstances and trying times,they can still get a notepad and
a pen, use a journal prompt andthey can feel into where
they're at in their life.
And people can use journalingat any time 3am, if they wake up
(29:15):
, I mean, you're obviously notgoing to call your best friend
or a counsellor or apsychologist at 3am.
Even if you called them,they're not going to answer,
let's face it.
But journaling is there for youall the time and I think that
is the greatest value.
Accessibility, I mean.
Obviously people can developtheir skill over time.
(29:39):
I would say to people if you'recompletely new to journaling,
don't start by looking into themost traumatic experience of
your life.
That's a very bad idea.
Start at surface level.
Start with things like whatmade me happy today, what upset
me today, and as you're doingthat, try to connect with your
body as well, because I thinkthe other issue that I see with
(30:02):
the people who come to me andthey tend to be women in midlife
and beyond they don't feeltheir body until something is
going very wrong with their bodyand their body is basically
screaming at them and I've beenthere too.
That's essentially how thejourney started, with embodied
processing.
I got into this work because Ihad to, because I got to this
(30:24):
dead end with my gut issues andI didn't want to live that way
for the rest of my life.
So often it does take somethinglike that to make us look and
think about our lifeholistically, rather than just
running through our list ofdeadlines, ticking off
achievements.
All that kind of stuff meansnothing when you start having
(30:46):
health issues.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Do you think also it's the system that is set up
in a way that disconnects usfrom ourselves and from each
other and from our own bodies?
100%?
Speaker 3 (31:00):
And reality is intellect is highly valued in
our society.
However, I do feel like peopleare starting to wake up and see
that maybe being switched on24-7 on screens, go, go, go, go
go isn't the best way forward toattain the kind of lifestyle
(31:26):
that they want.
I think a lot of this alsocomes down to the life stage
that you're in.
I mean, that's what I found aswell.
So like if you wereinterviewing me in my early
twenties, this would be acompletely different interview,
because I was highly, highly,highly ambitious.
All I could see was career.
That's it.
(31:48):
Now that I'm 37 and approachingmidlife, things have changed
considerably and, yes, work andpurpose is super important to me
still very, very, veryimportant to me.
There are other aspects of mylife, like health and wellbeing,
and almost at this point again,this is probably a life stage
(32:12):
thing, but because I'm at thatpoint where now I'm looking at
the second phase of my life,it's almost like everything is
on the table for considerationand you bring your wealth of
knowledge and experience thatyou have up to now to make those
decisions.
I'm sure everyone is differentand I think maybe if there is
(32:35):
certainly a pressure isn't thereand maybe a lot of that comes
down to the circles that you'rein as well.
The other really valuable thingabout embodied processing was
the community of people, becausefor the first time in my life,
I actually found people who arelike me.
So that connection showed methat, yes, I do belong somewhere
(33:01):
and I do understand.
Also, I will say in mysituation, I don't have kids and
I'm single, so life isbasically 100% about me, which
is not not the situation thatmost people find themselves in,
and obviously they're jugglingmultiple things kids, a partner,
maybe elderly parents.
(33:22):
There could be a lot going onthere, but I do think in the
modern there's a pressure toconstantly attain more.
And at what point do you askyourself well, when is enough
enough?
If you could spend your wholelife just chasing the next thing
and I'm sure many people do andeveryone is different.
(33:43):
If that is what makes peoplehappy, good for them, and
everyone is different.
If that is what makes peoplehappy, good for them.
For me, that doesn't make mehappy to just constantly chase
materialism and that kind ofthing.
And I think the introversionhas helped with that because,
like I said, I feel likeintroverts self-reflect more
(34:04):
Obviously.
Journaling is often areflective exercise as well.
So, and the fact that no kids,no partner, if you think about
it, it's a lot of time thatyou're spending alone.
So, even though I'm 37,compared to an average person in
terms of the amount of timethat I spend, on just reflection
(34:27):
I'm probably like 57.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
Now I want to talk about something more fun, but
it's still to do with the quietwarrior concept.
I hear you have a black belt.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
Well, I had a black belt many many moons ago.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
Yes, well, you don't lose the black belt.
So I think you can safely sayyou have one and also you are a
super fan of this particular TVseries.
That's to do with a lot ofkicking and martial arts and you
know really kick-ass style.
That's really different fromand I'm trying to picture you
(35:13):
with your black belt and doingall those moves.
Speaker 3 (35:15):
So tell me more.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
Tell me more about this enthusiasm that you have
for Buffy the vampire slayer,because I did remember watching
her as well, but I never gothooked to the same extent.
Speaker 3 (35:30):
How long do you have?
I must say I don't know ifyou've seen it on my Facebook
page, but they're doing a rebootnow, which excites me very,
very much.
But essentially I firstremember watching Buffy in grade
six, so that was like seasonone.
It was on very early, at about7 pm or something, and then over
(35:54):
time, as the seasons progressed, it started getting later and
later at night and my parentswould never let me watch it in
real time and I had a little VHStape where we taped it and I
watched it back the next day VHStape where we taped it and I
watched it back the next day andI honestly think it's just one
of the most underratedtelevision shows.
That was so far ahead of itstime.
(36:15):
It had a female heroine andbasically I think the genius
behind it is that it flips somany of the standard stereotypes
on its head.
You've got this very small,petite woman who you would never
expect could do the things thatshe can do, and she is
(36:36):
essentially the slayer and thechosen one and the things that
big, scary monsters are afraidof at night, and the way that
Buffy works is that a lot of thethings that surface in the show
are actually metaphors for reallife.
So like, for example, inseasons one to three, Buffy and
(36:58):
her friends go to high schooland Sunnydale, which is the
place where the high school is,is on the hell mouth.
Now, for most of us, highschool was hell, right.
So that's just one example of ametaphor.
In later seasons so one ofBuffy's best friends is Willow
(37:19):
and basically Willow ends upgetting addicted to magic and
she becomes evil Willow.
I'm laughing because it doesactually sound comical when you
explain it to people like that.
But you know you can swap themagic addiction for any other
addiction that people generallyhave on this planet, which
(37:39):
anything can be an addiction.
So I just think it was so farahead of its time and, to be
honest with you, I think I'vebecome more of a super fan as
I've aged and watched thingsback, because I remember
watching things at the time andfeeling a certain way.
But then watching them back asa 37-year-old I'm like, yeah,
(38:03):
it's totally, totally different,totally, totally different.
Where else would you like me togo?
I feel like I could talk allday well.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
I think that's a perfect way to wrap up, because
we are talking to introverts,we're talking to quiet achievers
.
They have aspirations of beingthat quiet warrior who, at the
time that they need to, canexpress themselves authentically
, like we talked about, can becourageous, can have those
difficult conversations, and youtalked about how embodied
writing can actually help themprocess, maybe even prepare for
(38:39):
that difficult conversation.
We've talked about how, howsociety can underestimate the
quiet ones, the ones who don'tlook like they could wreak as
much havoc as they can, who areactually really, really powerful
(38:59):
, but most of the time they justwalk on, they just live their
lives quietly until somethingrequires them to step up.
And that really is the conceptof the podcast that there are
times when we feel called or arecalled to rise up into
something greater than what wethink we're capable of, and
usually that's in service tosomething that's bigger than
(39:21):
ourselves.
I find that when we're allself-focused, we get that
performance anxiety and we'reworried about getting it wrong,
worried about being judged.
But when something bigger is atstake like you know, with Buffy
and all the demons that sheslays when it's for somebody
else, when you're trying torescue or save a loved one or
protect a loved one.
(39:41):
I think that's when that warriorenergy or that warrior side of
us comes out, and so what I'mtrying to do, also with the
podcast, is to encourage more ofthat warrior side to show
itself at the right time, sothat we're not just saying, oh,
I'm an introvert, so I can't dopublic speaking, I'm an
introvert so I can't sell and Ican't promote myself.
We're saying, no, I'm wiredthis way.
(40:04):
Yes, I may be reluctant to doit, it might make me a little
bit nervous, but if I have to doit I can, and I know what the
purpose is, that I'm doing it,which is important, because you
talked a lot about purpose aswell, and I think that having
that clarity around why we dothings, why we engage in
uncomfortable conversations ordifficult interactions, is
(40:25):
really important for theintrovert that wants to be
visible and want to make animpact in the world.
Speaker 3 (40:31):
Yeah, I agree, and I think one of the most important
things as an introvert to learnis that I have to work to grow
my capacity to be okay withbeing uncomfortable and being
uncomfortable is not a bad thing.
And, going back to what yousaid earlier, at a certain point
the why and the message becomesmore important to you and, I
(40:58):
guess, drives you and pulls youmore than the fears do, and I
think that's essentially thetipping point for most people.
That doesn't mean that thingsstill aren't challenging.
They are.
I am never going to be OprahWinfrey and love public speaking
.
That's not who I am.
But because I truly believe inembodied journaling and the work
(41:21):
that I'm doing, I can getmyself to a level where I can be
okay with it and I can think of.
Well, if I reach one or twointroverts and they start
journaling as a result of thispodcast, it was worth putting
myself on the line A hundredpercent.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
Beautiful.
I love that spirit.
So where can people find youand connect with you, Sarah?
Speaker 3 (41:45):
So my website is the best place, so it's
sarahcanadacom.
I'm sure you have it in theshow notes so I won't spell my
last name and then all acrosssocial media, you can either
Google my name or Storytellingfor the Soul Facebook, instagram
, linkedin.
I'm everywhere, basically.
Speaker 2 (42:06):
And can I say how super visible you are across
socials for someone who saysyou're an introvert, you like to
be private, but because thereis a message that you want to
share and you want to impact andinspire other people, it's
worth putting yourself out there, putting yourself on the line.
I love that courage and I lovethat visibility of yours.
That's done consistently andconsciously.
(42:27):
So thank you for coming on theshow today and make sure you
check out Sarah's links in theshow notes so that you can get
in touch with her.
If you're interested in findingout more about her embodied
journaling work and if you'veenjoyed this conversation and
want more like this, make sureto leave a five-star rating and
review so that the Quiet Warriorpodcast can reach more
introverts around the world.
(42:49):
See you on the next episode.
I'm so grateful that you're heretoday.
If you found this contentvaluable, please share it on
your social media channels andsubscribe to the show on your
favorite listening platform.
Together, we can help moreintroverts thrive favorite
listening platform.
Together, we can help moreintroverts thrive.
(43:10):
To receive more upliftingcontent like this, connect with
me on Instagram at Serena LuQuiet Warrior Coach.
Thank you for sharing your timeand your energy with me.
See you on the next episode.
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