February 4, 2025 • 60 mins
Countercultural motherhood comes alive as we talk with our special guest, Haden, a passionate home birth advocate from Midland, Texas. Discover Haden's personal journey from knowing nothing about home births to wholeheartedly embracing it for her first child. Together, we discuss how trusting the body's natural capabilities can lead to profound spiritual benefits, challenging the conventional medical approach that often interrupts natural processes like childbirth and menstruation.
Many women face hurdles with hormonal birth control, and we're not shying away from the tough conversations. Join us as we uncover the emotional and psychological impacts of IUDs and implants like Mirena and Nexplanon. Together with Haden, we call for greater transparency and understanding in women's healthcare, advocating for informed choices amidst a societal landscape that often resists acknowledging the drawbacks of birth control.
The path to physiological birth is a transformative one, and we're thrilled to share insights on navigating myths around birth and breastfeeding. Haden opens up about her home birth experience, from selecting a bathtub over a birth pool to the unexpected challenges she faced. We highlight the importance of preparation, support, and debunking common misconceptions about milk supply. This episode invites listeners to explore a holistic approach to motherhood, offering inspiration and guidance for their own journeys.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Hello and welcome to the Radiant Mission Podcast.
My name is Rebecca Toomey andwe are on a mission to encourage
and inspire you as you'renavigating through your life and
with your relationship withChrist.
We've been in a series on beingcountercultural in a secular
world, and today I welcome avery special guest who not only
loves Jesus but recently brokethe mold and went against
(00:55):
cultural norms by having a homebirth for her first baby.
Hayden is now a home birthenthusiast and is all about
instinctual motherhood, and hersweet family lives in Midland
Texas and she is loving life asa stay-at-home mom.
You can find her on Instagramat haydenleejohnson Hayden.
(01:18):
Thank you so much for joiningme today.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Thank you for having me.
I'm so excited.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Yeah, so you and I both have a mutual friend and
that is Audrey at A Joyful Birth.
And so for folks that have beenlistening to the show for a
while, or if you're new here,scroll back like 50 episodes.
And she was on.
But I really just want to goahead and jump in and start with
(01:44):
.
But I really just want to goahead and jump in and start with
.
Can you share a little bitabout you?
Who are you and where are youfrom, and tell us all the things
?
Speaker 2 (01:53):
I am from Stephenville, texas.
I was born in Spokane,washington, though my mom is
from Washington, my dad's fromTexas.
They met and dated for aboutseven years, had me and then
decided that Texas was wherethey were going to call home.
I went to college for a littlebit and then kind of decided it
(02:19):
wasn't for me, dropped out andthen, um, I never even knew that
you could have a home birth andthat was just something that
was never in my vision, it wasnever something I wanted to do.
Um, and then, as of veryrecently like, I'll be honest,
(02:42):
probably two a year ago um, Idecided that that was something
I'd want to do if the Lord didbless my husband and I to have a
baby, and I also felt like, asmy faith grew in Jesus, my faith
in the human body also grew,among so many other things,
(03:03):
beyond birth even.
Um, so, yeah, and then just alot of preparation, research
beforehand.
Um, it was a very easy decisionfor me to make to have my first
baby at home.
And then I also have a familymember that really pushed me in
the counterculture directionwhen she kind of started telling
(03:28):
me because I was on birthcontrol and I wanted to kind of
get off of it, not for anypurpose other than I'm married
and she just kind of told me,like how bad it was for you and
the damage it can do to yourbody and how it spiritually
isn't even good for your soul,and I said whoa sent me down a
(03:55):
rabbit hole and then I gavebirth to my bathtub.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
I love it, I love the jump and I love that you had
people in your life that werespeaking these truths to you,
because sometimes that's where Ifeel like and that's why this
show exists and other podcastslike it is to raise awareness
about things or to talk aboutthings that maybe are not talked
about enough or in a truthfuland real way, and I love that.
You pointed out that there is aspiritual aspect when we're
(04:23):
taking birth control.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Oh yes.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Because you'll hear well, everything has side
effects.
But what about our soul?
What about that side of?
If we're suppressing a piece ofour bodies, a portion of
ourselves, on birth control?
What is that doing for ourgreater spiritual self?
Speaker 2 (04:48):
And celebrating it at the same time to not having a
menstrual cycle and having allthe negative side effects that
go with it.
The celebration of that andit's like, no, your menstrual
cycle is something that'sbeautiful and it means you're a
healthy young woman, and insteadit's derogatory and dirty and,
oh, you don't want to have one,and I understand they can be
(05:10):
like, not fun.
But in the same breath it saysyour body is meant to do what
was created to do that andyou're suppressing it.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Isn't it amazing?
I love that you're using theword suppress here, because it's
accurate.
But isn't it amazing how modernmedicine is all about the
suppression of the human bodyand how our human bodies were
made to be?
Like I mentioned to you beforewe started, I have a little bit
of a cough still.
My cough is my body, expellingwhat it needs to expel.
(05:39):
But what does pharma want to do?
Suppress it with a coughsuppressant, with cough drops.
That's suppressant.
You know, everything is aboutsuppressing the symptom rather
than allowing the body to healand to go through it.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
It's also about escaping discomfort too, which
is very, very heavy in oursociety.
Nobody wants to have discomfort, Nobody wants to sit in it,
Nobody wants to learn from it,grow from it or even just allow
our bodies to go through theprocess of being sick or allow
our bodies to go through theprocess of pregnancy, and it's
(06:16):
it breaks my heart to see somany women wanting to induce
labor at 36, 37 weeks becausethey're uncomfortable and it's
like no, don't do that.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
You're bringing up such a point.
It's amazing because it couldjust be a few more days for some
people, or another week or twoweeks, and it's like we can't
sacrifice a week or two ofdiscomfort to ensure that not
only our baby has a goodexperience, but that we don't
experience birth trauma, goingthrough something that we didn't
(06:50):
need to go through.
But you're right, so much ofthe birth system inside the
hospital is about convenience,is about comfort, is about let's
put us in the best, mostcomfortable, pain-free, so to
speak, air quotes, put us in thebest, most comfortable,
pain-free, so to speak, airquotes position possible.
But I want to back up for asecond, because we're talking
(07:11):
about countercultural stuff andin some ways it's weird for me
to say which I'm sure it is foryou now too to say this is
countercultural, because to me,home birth and avoiding
pharmaceuticals is very normal.
To me, home birth and avoidingpharmaceuticals is very normal.
It's not weird to me, but it'sviewed as against the grain to
(07:32):
society and home birth.
You know it's taboo for a lotof people.
They are like oh my gosh, homebirth is so dangerous.
But God designed our bodies togive birth.
Like you said, he designed ourbodies to have periods and to
menstruate and to go throughthat cycle, and when we don't go
through it and when we forceourselves to be suppressed by
birth control, we cause damageto it.
(07:54):
I mean, birth control is aclass one carcinogen, so that's
something for us to reallyconsider there.
Anyway, let's talk a little bitabout how you got there, because
you were our first time mom.
That home birth and that is notthat common.
(08:14):
It happens, obviously, yes, butwhat was the thing?
Was there a one thing that waslike I've seen what I needed to
see in the hospital, these momskind of thing.
Was it a moment or was itgradual?
And this kind of thing thatyou're like you know what?
I'm staying home.
I I'm not new in that wholething it was.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
It was gradual and then all of a sudden if that
makes any sense at all it wasvery gradual and then it was
like absolutely that I would notdo it any other way.
I kind of like grew up in thehospital system.
(08:58):
I guess you could say for mejust being sick as a child, from
me just being sick as a childand then realizing, as I kind of
went on my journey, there wereso many things that were never
brought into question when I wassick as a child and I was
having these feigning spells andI just was never well, I was
never once asked what my dietwas like.
(09:19):
I was never once asked how areyou sleeping?
What kind of stress levels didyou have?
And looking back, stress wasvery, very clearly a reason why
I was sick and I was never evenasked that it was just immediate
medication.
So that also, and then havingfamily members getting diagnosed
(09:43):
with cancer and then seeingthem go through that long drawn
out process of being in thehospital system and being in and
out of hospitals and visitingthem and them coming home and
sadly having to say goodbye tothem, that also just kind of
tainted my faith in what Ithought of the hospital system.
(10:03):
And that's not to say thatanything was wrong about either
of those situations.
It was just me kind of learningand growing in myself and then
looking back and being like, huh, hmm, that's kind of weird.
And also my um, my family memberAlso my family member.
(10:25):
She had a home birth and thenshe also had a free birth as
well.
And seeing her go through herabsolutely beautiful journey and
I look up to her so much andher kind of opening, cracking
the door for me with why don'tyou look at how bad birth
control is for you?
I went on a spiral and wheneverI, whenever my husband and I
(10:48):
very first decided that wewanted then educating myself,
being informed on everything,trying to figure out what I
envisioned for my birth and howI needed to execute that, and
(11:10):
what I kind of did was I startedat the very far end of the
spectrum, which is free birthing, and I worked my way back and
then found where I would be mostcomfortable.
And then that was what Idecided to do.
And my husband, he made surethat he ate healthy, he worked
out a bunch.
He was right there along withme listening to positive birth
(11:33):
stories and deconstructing theidea of birth in the media and
things like that.
So whenever we decided to getpregnant, I was fully informed.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
I knew exactly what I wanted to do, how I wanted to
do it and, yeah, it wasn't likean aha moment, it was gradual,
and then all of a sudden piecesto this right, because there's
we've talked on the podcast alittle bit about conditioning,
(12:06):
mental conditioning andprogramming I guess you could
call it yes, where we grow upand we're programmed to believe
or think a certain way, likeabout the medical system, as you
mentioned.
You know, when you grow up inthe medical system, you often
feel like that's the place to go.
Those are the experts that yougo to, and then, as you get
older and you see the disservicethat it does to a lot of people
(12:27):
, I think that's the first kindof like crack in the screen.
It's the first crack in it.
You're like wait a second.
I've gone through this with myown mother-in-law who she had a
stroke and went to the hospitaland they couldn't figure out
what was wrong with her.
No, and a couple of weeks latershe was having stroke symptoms
(12:50):
again, very sick, went to adifferent hospital.
They couldn't figure out whatwas wrong with her.
My cousin happens to be adoctor and we pulled her results
from this both hospitals andsent them to her and she said
she's having strokes.
Why are they not?
(13:11):
Why are they not recognizingthis?
It's, it's in their ownpaperwork, you know, it's in
their own tests right here.
So we ended up taking her to astroke hospital and it turns out
she had had dozens of strokes.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Oh bless her heart.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
It's just one of those examples that you know.
So many people I know go to themedical system for help and
don't get it, even when they'reseeking specific help for a
specific thing.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Especially women, especially women.
And it's always so crazy to mehow any woman off the street,
you pull them and say what'swomen's healthcare like?
And it's, oh, it's horrible,but home birth is dangerous and
I don't agree with that, but Idon't trust the medical system.
Or I had endometriosis and PCOSand they would not diagnose me
(14:05):
with either of those, or theysaid that those are like not
even real diagnosis and it'salways crazy to me how a woman
can acknowledge that and saywomen within the medical system
are abused so often.
We're dramatic.
Um, we're making it up, it'sall in our heads.
(14:26):
Well, are you sleeping enough?
Well, any of these factors thatjust like write women off.
But whenever, as soon as we getpregnant very, very quickly,
are we to turn our bodies overentirely to the medical system.
So I feel like there's adisconnect right there that you
are doing an amazing job athighlighting and saying hey,
(14:48):
there are other options forwomen with their healthcare,
especially during pregnancy andlabor and delivery and
postpartum even.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Absolutely.
Hey, I was one of those womenand you'll love this story.
I had an IUD when I was youngerand I was having suicidal
ideation where I was justfantasizing about killing myself
.
It didn't make any sense,because that's not how I am at
all, never have been.
I'm like this is so weird.
(15:20):
This is not me and I knew itwas from the IUD.
It was the hormonal Mirena IUD.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
And.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
I went to get it out First.
Ob couldn't get it out and shedidn't have a ultrasound machine
, so she couldn't see what shewas doing.
So I called my insurance and Iwas like this thing needs to
come out today.
Can you help me find a practicethat can see me today that has
an ultrasound machine?
They found one.
So I go to this place and it'sa male OBGYN and I tell him
(15:53):
what's going on and this iswhere the gaslighting that
you're mentioning comes in.
He says oh, you don't need toget your IUD out, you just need
to be on an antidepressant.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
There you go, convey your book.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
I could have slapped this guy.
I was like, excuse me, sir, butno, I need to get it out.
He did attempt to get it outand couldn't because, guess what
, it was embedded to my uterinewall so I had to have it
surgically removed and yeah, solike worst case scenario, right.
But I want to tell you I was adifferent person within one.
(16:30):
Like I got it out on a Friday,saturday comes by, my husband is
like you're different, you'recalmer, and just the way that I
felt it was like a weight waslifted off of me.
Anxiety that I had felt fromthis thing went away.
I never had thoughts like that,ever again.
And it's so frustrating to methat doctors will say things
(16:55):
like try to cover a problem froma medication with another
medication.
That will also cause problems,and antidepressants and
antipsychotics can also make youway worse and have even bigger
issues.
But then the other thing I wantto address here is the women to
(17:15):
women, part of this woman towoman that Whenever this
conversation I'll give this mystory as an example comes up
within a group of women, thereis a resistance to it oftentimes
, and I know it's a defensemechanism, because women don't
(17:36):
want to think about the idea ofbirth control being taken away
from them.
Yes, it's too hard to thinkabout what life would be like
without birth control.
It's like you have to shatteran idea.
You're shattering theprogramming around birth control
, or you're trying to, by evensuggesting that it could cause a
(17:56):
problem, when anyone could lookat an insert for any birth
control and see the side effectsare a mile long.
So, they'll say things like well, I was fine, I had it for five
years and never had a problem.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
And I was one of those women.
So you know, yes, no, I do, Iwas on.
I was on Nexplanon, the bar inyour arm.
I got put on when I was 18because I had ovarian cysts.
Not any question of well, let'scheck your hormone levels.
Just oh, you have cysts, notany question of, well, let's
check your hormone levels, justoh yeah, and cysts.
(18:28):
Here's birth control.
No, quite like immediately, andI didn't know any better.
I was just like, okay, didn'thave a problem with it for years
and years and years turn around.
My husband and I just gotengaged and I kind of started
thinking about maybe getting itremoved but was still like, eh,
we'll wait until after we'remarried, whatever.
(18:50):
And I went into go have itreplaced and I was like, if I
want to get it removed in acouple months, I can't, because
the time to get it replaced wasup.
I got it replaced and I tellyou, within a week I was exactly
like you.
(19:10):
I was in a completely differentand the reason why I didn't
think it was I thought it's thestress of planning a wedding.
I just got engaged.
So many life changes.
I'm moving all the way toMidland, like that's kind of
what I thought it was for thelongest time.
I say longest time, it wasmaybe a month, cause that's how
(19:32):
bad.
It got very quickly and myhusband one day very, very
bravely sat me down and said Ithink it's your birth control.
Wanted to slap him because howdare you?
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Yeah, how dare you?
You can't take this away fromme.
I was like how?
Speaker 2 (19:52):
dare you First of all tell me that I'm hormonal Crazy
?
He was absolutely correct,cause then I went back to go get
it removed.
Less than a month later, turnsout it was a completely
different drug he had put in myarm oh wow.
They changed the hormonal levelsof it, so my body reacted
negatively to it, extensively.
(20:16):
So, as I'm sitting there in theroom about to get it removed
just now hearing oh well, it'sbecause it's a completely
different hormonal level andit's a completely different drug
I was disgusted.
I felt so betrayed.
And this is an ob and it was amale.
This was an ob that I actuallyreally loved, I liked him.
(20:37):
But after that and then alsofinding out that with Nexpanon
you can actually have an egg getfertilized Did not know that,
was not told that I would havechosen a different birth control
, even at age of 18 if I wouldhave known that, and so I just I
(21:01):
lost all my trust right thenand there, and that's what sent
me on my spiral also.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Yeah, I totally agree with you, but they're the same
experience with having an IUDtoo.
It was something that I didn'trealize or understand fully
until later.
That same thing that you canhave an egg fertilize and go
into your ut, into your uterus.
And with the copper iud inparticular, it makes your uterus
(21:29):
unhospitable, like how gross isthat?
Yeah, it creates anunhospitable, hospitable
environment that can literallytear the embryo apart, and it
just made me feel I went througha lot of just feeling very sad
and guilty, almost.
(21:51):
It's hard to process that, right, because you don't know better,
necessarily until you do.
And that's why we're talkingabout this, because now
everybody knows, right here,right now, now you know, heard
it here.
But it is important for us tohave these conversations because
(22:13):
anything that we put in ourbody that's foreign, that is not
of God, that is not of the Lord, that he didn't create.
We are changing our bodies,we're changing the chemistry of
our bodies, we're changing theway that our bodies work and
function and you know, it's justsomething that I think we all
need to talk about and thinkabout you just going on these
(22:41):
paths and choosing what you feelGod chose best for you to say
I'm not.
I'm not messing with this birthcontrol stuff anymore.
You know, I'm going to trustthe Lord and I'm sure there's
there's other, there's otherfactors and other things that we
can do.
Right, we actually have a wholeseries on fertility awareness
method.
Yes, for those listening thatare scared about the whole birth
(23:03):
control thing, I can't not beon birth control.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Yeah, well, there are other options you know, my
husband and I did those otheroptions and they worked
perfectly.
And the moment, without beingtoo I guess you can't be too TMI
but without being too TMI, likethe moment we decided to try, I
got pregnant because that's howaccurate it can be and it
worked for us for two years on.
(23:28):
We weren't ready to have a baby, so we didn't.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
Yeah, exactly, it's funny when I, when I went to the
OB to actually I ended upgetting a second IUD, if you can
believe that.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
And when I went to finally have it removed.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
I know I got the copper one next and then I had
even more problems.
So anyway, it's a story foranother day.
Well, actually I already sharedthe story on this podcast, so
we'll just scroll back.
You know what he said to me hegoes.
So what are you going to do?
You're not going to you know,you're taking this IUD out.
You're not going to go on thepill or anything.
What are you going to do?
(24:06):
And, first of all, why do Ihave to answer that question to
you guy?
But we said we're going tofollow fertility awareness
method.
And he said, oh, you know whatwe call that parents?
And I was like, okay, thatparents?
(24:30):
And I was like, okay, that'sgross, gross, right and same
thing.
We, we followed fam and didn'thave a baby for a year, whatever
it was, and then, when wedecided that we wanted to get
pregnant, I had understood howmy cycle worked and understood
those fertility windows, andthat's the thing that's really
awesome about it, and I knowthat a lot of folks are worried
about.
Well, I have an irregular cycleand things of that nature.
(24:50):
I'd encourage them to go downthe route of looking into their
diet, following ananti-inflammatory diet,
something of that nature,because that can help get your
hormones back on track.
Our world is so full of toxins.
I was just watching a videotoday about how Tampax put all
these parabens and paraffinsinto their tampons in 2020.
(25:12):
And now the ingredientcomposition is different than it
used to be 10 years ago, let'ssay, and women are sticking
those up their hoo-ha and ofcourse they're going to
influence your hormones and ofcourse they're going to change
and shift the way that ourbodies work.
That's just one product.
It's not body wash and shampoosand lotions and all these
(25:37):
things perfumes, all of theseendocrine disruptors and things
that we use in and on our bodiesthat can influence fertility.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Yes, absolutely yes.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
So let's get back to home birth for a second or for a
while, however long you want togo, because I want to hear more
about you made the decision tohave a home birth.
Did you get nervous as you weregetting closer to your date?
When did you end up having yourbaby?
Were you, were you?
Did you have a guest date?
Or you know due date orwhatever however you wanted to
(26:13):
label it?
Were you looking at that?
Was it something you werethinking about?
Walk us through.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
I was not, so I had no anxiety at all.
As soon as I got pregnant, Ihad no anxiety, I had no fear,
and I had what I called like avery I guess cocky where I was
like I'm so excited for labor, Ican't wait to experience it,
(26:44):
and just the outlook on it, likeI was so excited to give birth,
I was so excited to go intolabor, and I honestly think that
just my faith and knowing thatthis is what I was designed to
do, and then also justunderstanding physiological
birth at such a deep level andunderstanding also contributes
(27:09):
to the peace I felt too, and Iwas.
I was still humbled, thoughthat's not to say I was not
humbled during labor.
I absolutely was.
I was having contractions andwas thinking I had back labor
also the entire time.
I don't think I had onecontraction in my belly at all,
oh no, was he sunny side up.
(27:30):
He was sitting on the oppositeside that he was supposed to, so
he had to rotate all the waydown.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Yeah, so he had to rotate all the way around and
then decided to come up.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
That's usually what happens with back labor.
Right is, babies just have tohave to, has to make their spin.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
Yeah, spinning out to the yes and I did the whole
spin babies thing for monthsbecause he did not leave that
side of my belly.
I don't think he was ever on myleft side once.
He was just on that.
He was where he was comfortablefavorite side of the bed, I
guess.
Um, yeah, right, he, uh, butyeah, I mean, he was good to me
(28:14):
during pregnancy, though Ididn't really have.
I had a very easy pregnancy.
I loved being pregnant, umuntil I would have to get up off
the couch at 40 weeks, nomorning sickness or anything
like that I had a little bit ofmorning sickness, but it wasn't
anything I couldn't manage.
Um, making sure I'm eatingenough protein first thing in
the morning uh, ginger candy, uh, bone broth.
(28:38):
Still, keep, keep exercising.
Uh, I would say if I would getreally nauseous I would take a
cold shower and that would help.
Also For my husband'srecommendations.
He loves telling me anytime Ihave anything wrong with me.
He's like take a cold shower.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
That's.
That's his global advice.
I love it.
Yes, did you follow a specificpregnancy diet, like real food
for pregnancy or brewer's dietor anything like that.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
I kind of did a version of the brewer's diet and
I did read real food forpregnancy and I didn't really
try and like stick to one thing.
I just made sure that I wasalways eating whole, nutrient
dense foods.
I didn't prioritize one thingover another.
I was eating my prenatal Iguess is what you could call it
(29:30):
Lots of eggs, lots of milk, lotsof red meat, lots of smoked
oysters, pearl powder.
I'm trying to think of what thecreator's name is Noelle on
Instagram.
I can't think of her handleright now, but I absolutely love
her and the freely rootedpodcast.
She has a full episode on thereabout prenatal uh diet and I
(29:54):
just kind of took that and ranwith it also, um, she's the one
that recommended the smokedoysters and stuff nasty, but I
did it I was gonna say oyster isgood for you.
I don't know if I could do itand uh, but yeah, I didn't
really follow like a specificdiet I would say, other than
just avoiding junk, avoidingultra processed foods, um, and
(30:17):
avoiding a little too much sugar.
I noticed during my firsttrimester if I would eat a
little too much sugar it wouldalways make me nauseous.
First trimester, if I would eata little too much sugar, it
would always make me nauseous.
So avoiding sugar also.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
But other than that, just listening to my body and
eating what it was telling me toeat.
Yeah, that's awesome.
So you got to 40 weeks, andthen what happens next?
Speaker 2 (30:40):
I got to 40 weeks and I kind of had to mentally
prepare myself that, okay, mymidwives are going to start
talking about induction.
I had to kind of mentally prepmyself for that.
Went in for my 40 weekappointment and, yeah, they did
(31:01):
say they were like, well, 42weeks is when we'll, we can't
take care of you anymore.
And I talked to my husbandabout it and we kind of decided
that if it does reach that pointand if I'm okay and if baby's
okay, we're going to still do ahome birth.
We talked about it, agreed toit.
Thankfully did not have to dothat.
(31:25):
I had him exactly on 41 weeks.
Um, my, I didn't really try andI wasn't sure.
I still was not searching forlabor, I still was not trying to
force labor, I wasn't doing anycraziness.
Um, uh, my husband was lookingup different things to do and we
(31:46):
had a what did we call it Aserotonin day.
We had a serotonin day and hetook me and we got pedicures
together.
We watched my favorite movies.
I think I ate my favorite food,which is pho.
I love pho.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
I think I ate my favorite food, which is pho I
love pho and he just kind ofmade like a day for me serotonin
day, and then the next day Ihad my first contraction while
eating lunch with my family.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
Wow, wow, serotonin day worked.
Look at that, it worked.
That is what I recommend toevery mom I'm like if you're
reaching that point and you'rekind of getting nervous about
your guest date or whatever, theworst thing you can do is
stress.
The worst thing you can do isput pressure on yourself.
The worst thing you can do isrestrict yourself and have that
mentality of what if?
Restrict yourself and have thatmentality of what if it's.
(32:49):
Take it step by step, take itday by day and just really focus
on yourself and being happy,especially with you and your
husband.
One of my most fondest momentsof my husband and I are those
last few days leading up togoing into labor, because those
are the last few days that itwas just him and I and we really
did a lot to cherish those andmake new memories together and
(33:11):
just spend really good qualitytime together also.
So cause I mean birth is whatyou have to completely surrender
yourself to it.
You can't control it.
It's not your job to putyourself into labor.
Your body will do what it'smeant to do, and that's the
mindset I had, and I had him atexactly 41 weeks.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
I love that and it is very true that if we are under
pressure or stress or there'soutside factors, it can prevent
us from going into labor.
I had a doula during my firsthome birth who she shared with
me two out of her four labors,so I think it was like numbers
(33:53):
two and three or something likethat.
She actually went into laborwhen her and her husband went to
stay alone together at a hotel,like she was away from her
other children and it was justher being with her other
children taking care of them.
Her body and her mind wasfocused on that and she couldn't
(34:16):
relax.
And once she went on this youknow, staycation in town,
whatever with her husband for anight, she went into labor.
Wife.
That happened to her and Ithought that that was really
funny.
Now I have not had that issue.
Thankfully I've gone into laborwith all my kids being here,
but I noticed that for myself.
I always have a lot of tasks.
(34:37):
I get very nasty.
And when I complete the list islike when my body's like all
right, you can go into labor nowyour list is done.
So I've made my list shorterwith every pregnancy, just so
we're not waiting around.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
I got so nasty too.
My poor husband.
He was putting together so manydifferent things for me and
helping me check things off myto-do list.
Like I'm cleaning thebaseboards.
Like we got to make a goodfirst impression.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
And the, the nesting pregnancyhormones are so weird too,
because it's not always stuffthat makes sense.
You know, it's like I got toclean out this drawer that I've
never cleaned out in 10 years.
That's not significant orimportant in any way to this
birth of this baby, but that'sjust how it is.
I had two long lists,double-sided, and I start early,
(35:30):
girl.
I'm like at four months, here'smy list of things I need to do
and it doesn't make any sense.
I don't know.
I don't know why I'm this way.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
I wish I started that early.
I waited right up until thatlast minute and said okay, so I
need to do everything you knowwe all.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
We all have our things and our ways of working.
But now you know you got youcan start your list early, yes,
but you know my sister alwaysjokes.
She's like I wish I had yournesting energy, not pregnant,
because then I can actually getthings done.
I had your nesting energy, notpregnant, because then I could
actually get things done.
And I said I wish I had mynesting energy, not pregnant too
(36:13):
.
But all right.
So you got to 41 weeks and thenyou're out to lunch you have
your first contraction.
Did you feel like and this isthe thing that's so fun about
hearing birth stories, when it'sthe first time, it's like did
you know you were in labor?
Did you know that it washappening?
Or were you like I don't know.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
I just heard my husband chuckle in the
background because I did notbelieve I was in labor until I
was probably seven, eightcentimeters dilated, like I was
having consistent contractions.
I the reason why I did notthink I was in labor is because
(36:49):
I did not feel it in my stomach.
I only felt them in my back andI also had never given birth
before.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
So I'm like okay, so as soon as my contractions done.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
Um, I'm like totally fine, like I'm chatting, I'm
sitting here like I feel normal,and then I would have another
one and then be normal again.
And I didn't.
I was like I don't know aboutthat and that's the one thing
that no amount of preparationwatching birth, watching home
birth videos, listening to birthstories prepared me for is how
(37:29):
true labor actually goes, solike you can watch it.
But when I was going through it, I'm like that's, that's not
what I'm going through.
So I think my doula and mymidwife showed up at the same
(37:51):
time and I told my husband Iwanted my doula there a little
bit early, but it didn't happenbecause my contractions went
from five minutes apart to aminute apart very quickly and I
don't even remember my doula ormy midwife coming to the getting
here.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
I don't even remember them arriving.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
That's how far gone I was and I was in birthing la la
land and uh.
But yeah, I just gaslightedmyself aggressively that I'm not
in labor.
It's also the which I'm workingon it.
The aggressive people pleaserin me and the overwhelming me to
(38:35):
not be an inconvenience.
I was so terrified of tellingmy midwife or my doula to come
to the house and then meactually not be in labor.
That was a horrible fear ofmine.
I would have felt so bad forwasting their time doing that,
so that also contributed to thereason why it took until my
husband was like I'm notlistening to you anymore, I'm
(38:56):
just going to call them.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
I think that's a pretty common anymore.
I'm just going to call them Ithink that's a pretty common
thing and that's a good call out, because that is something that
a lot of women worry about whenthey're having a baby and,
whether it's the first time ornot, is am I really in labor?
Is this really happening?
But I also do think that thereisn't a need for anybody else to
(39:19):
be there, because you're doingyour thing.
So it's okay to wait, it's coolto wait, and for those home
birthing, you're pretty prepared, no matter what, right Like,
there's always the, there'salways going to be the potential
that you're going to have thebaby before the midwife comes.
Oh, yeah, so that's something.
That's like what?
(39:39):
Yeah, so you're ready for that.
So you know, yes, it wasawesome.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
I didn't.
I didn't initially plan which,looking back, I am so glad I did
hire a doula.
I initially.
I initially hired her in mymind to help my husband because
he just kept asking me um um, Imight butcher her last name, but
emily uh saldea with the freebirth society.
(40:09):
We watched her um uh podcastepisode over how your partner
can assist you in your freebirth and we watched it together
and he still was like I'm stillso nervous, I still like I'm
still I have so much anxiety.
And so in my mind I was like,okay, we'll hire a doula that
(40:30):
can, when I'm in labor, doingall the things she can assist,
help you, to help me, I guess?
Sure, yeah, she was phenomenal.
I absolutely loved my doula.
She was amazing.
I could not have handled mybirth and my delivery as well as
I did without her.
She was incredible and but yeah, looking back, I got her for
(40:50):
him and then she ended up beingeverything I needed and more.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
That's awesome.
I'm so glad to hear that.
It sounds like she reallysupported you.
It was probably veryencouraging.
I don't know if she was helpingwith positions or counter
pressure or anything like that,but that can be really helpful
too.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
Yes, she was, she was doing, she was doing all the
things, and then she also helpedme for my breastfeeding journey
too, and I'm also convincedbreastfeeding for me has been
very, very easy.
The Lord has blessed meincredibly in that department.
I have not had any trouble withit at all, but she also set me
up for success with that also.
So I really appreciate that.
(41:30):
That's the one thing I willalways tell soon-to-be moms that
want to breastfeed is take alactation course, because
there's so much out there thatyou don't know about, and it
breaks my heart to hearbreastfeeding journeys end
simply because they don't knowand simply because they don't
have the support, and it makesme so sad.
(41:50):
So that is one thing find alactate, find a um IBCLC and go
through that process with them,because they will set you up
with success.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
Absolutely.
Yep, absolutely agree.
Speaker 2 (42:04):
Most of them.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
True.
Yes, we had an IBCLC on theshow.
I mean I wish I knew theseepisodes off the top of my head,
but I don't.
Her name is Sarah and she gavesome really great advice and
then also some information onties and what to look for and
things of that nature, becausethat is why a lot of moms can
struggle.
I actually have had ties in allmy kids and still have
(42:30):
breastfed and been fortunateenough to not struggle to
breastfeed.
I did have pain with my first,but I thought that was normal at
the time and then by the timelike the couple of weeks went by
was over and I never had anissue ever since.
So I'm in the same boat withyou that breastfeeding has been
(42:50):
a very positive and good journey.
I do think that it's importantfor moms to seek that education
and help and look into thingsthat can never hurt and just get
educated.
But you know, the big thing toois not to hold too much stress
or fear.
I think that a lot of moms thinkthat they need to be pumping
(43:11):
bottles of milk when a baby'sborn and like they need a pinky
know fingernail pinky fingernailsize of milk the first week.
Yes, they're feeding, theydon't need all this milk, and
that's something that I see alot in these mom groups I'm in
is I'm not producing enough, mymilk hasn't come in and it's
like your body needs to do?
Speaker 2 (43:33):
yes, exactly, and pumping also is not a good
indicator of what your supply isat all.
And I see, and I see so manymoms say, oh, I'm only pumping,
like this much milk, my of likelow supply, I need to supplement
with one.
No, y'all like, what you'repumping is not accurate of how
much your baby is receiving, andif there is latch issues or
(43:55):
anything like that, you can findresources and help for that as
well.
But another thing that just isthe belief that there's so many
things within the birthing worldand just motherhood in general,
of things that are marketed asa have to do.
You must do that, you do nothave to do, you don't have to
pump.
(44:16):
Nobody has to keep like.
Not every single mom has topump in order to keep a supply
up.
Now, there are nuances forabsolutely everything, but a mom
that is able to breastfeednormally does not need to pump,
and pumping can also cause somany issues in the long run Also
, especially if you're not doingit correctly or have the
(44:38):
support of a IBCLC to educateyou on when and how to do it, if
that is something that you wantor need to do.
But the belief that, oh, youabsolutely have to pump.
No, you don't.
You don't have to put that muchadditional stress on yourself.
You don't have to give yourbaby a bottle.
You don't have to do anything.
The only thing you have to dois listen to yourself.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
The only thing your baby needs is you.
That's right.
Reach, yeah, absolutely.
You know, something that Ilearned that I didn't know going
into my first baby nursingexperience was that the milk
changes throughout the day.
And so let's say that a momdoesn't know this and she is
pumping for night feeds, let'ssay, and then she's not giving
(45:27):
the baby's not getting all ofthe milk, she's freezing some of
it.
It's like, technically, yourbaby isn't getting a percentage
of milk that you're producingthat changes in its fats and in
its carbohydrates throughout theday.
And I find found that reallyinteresting and why and also is
fascinating to me like somepeople would pump and they would
(45:48):
combine all of their milktogether from the whole day,
from morning, afternoon to night, and there's a reason that it
has these different levels to it.
And there's a reason that ithas these different levels to it
.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
So the milk thing is like a whole hole that anyone
can go down.
Yes, I've gone down it justbecause my passion for
everything pregnancy, birthrelated it's like a branch of it
that I'm also obsessed with,because breath smoke is so
incredible and so amazing andit's so innately designed to be
(46:21):
exactly what it needs to be foryour baby.
And it breaks my heart to seemoms that try everything they
can to have a successful journeyand they end up not being able
to have that.
And I don't want to say give up, because if you don't have the
support to go on, then it's notyou giving up Like you did not
(46:42):
fail, it's a system that was setup for you to fail.
And the lack of support aroundthat is, I don't know it.
Just it just really reallymakes me sad to see that so
often.
Speaker 1 (46:56):
Oh, absolutely, and a lot of women.
It's funny that you mentionednot all IBCLCs or lactation
consultants.
Let's say I don't know if thiswoman specifically was, but when
I was at the hospital with myfirst, this lactation consultant
came in and she was trying toget me to nurse in positions
(47:17):
that she thought I should nursein, for whatever reason.
My baby and I were mostcomfortable when she was upright
, so it was like her head was upand down, like she was just up
and down, not across, and shekept trying to say try football,
do this, do that.
And I think it's probablybecause of her tie.
It just pinched me every otherway, so that was the most
(47:39):
comfortable.
This lady brought other peoplein the room like I was a circus
freak.
She was like I'm in here, I'venever seen anybody nurse in this
position before.
I'm like you've never seen anupright position.
Speaker 2 (47:53):
This is literally a position but to go the latch in
every way.
He'll latch Like we've donesome weird things.
Speaker 1 (48:03):
However, baby is going to latch is how baby is
going to latch.
And it's just an example of ifI would have had head trash
about that or beenself-conscious, that could have
been something that deterred mefrom continuing to breastfeed.
And I think that that'ssomething that a lot of
consultants or people in thespace, just you know need to
(48:23):
consider is how they'reapproaching moms and how they're
approaching the situation tohelp and to be supportive,
because babies are gonna do whatthey're gonna to do.
Speaker 2 (48:37):
Yes, yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (48:41):
Well now I don't want to skip over the birth part,
because that's where we got to.
Yes, so you, your doula getsthere, she's helping you out.
Your midwife gets there.
Um, were you laboring in?
You said you were in your tubor you had a birth pool, or both
.
Speaker 2 (48:59):
Well.
So whenever my midwives firstdid their in-home meeting yeah,
like visit to like look at thehouse and I asked them I said,
hey, we have a pretty bigbathtub.
Would this just work instead ofa laboring tub?
(49:19):
And they said, yeah, no, we'vehad moms give birth in their
bathtubs all the time.
If that's what you would ratherdo, and I was like sure, let's
just do that.
So I told them we'll just dothat.
If there is one thing I couldchange about my birth, it is
laboring in that dang tub,because the water was not nearly
(49:42):
high enough to where.
I don't think I got that.
I have people on Instagram askme often how was your experience
with a water birth?
Would you recommend it?
I don't know, because I did notget any of the benefits that
come from birthing in the water,other than for my son being
born very peacefully andsmoothly, and not abruptly, I
(50:07):
guess.
So the transition was reallygood for him going into the
water, but for me also havingback labor, I would not do that
again.
The water wasn't deep enough, soI didn't get that zero gravity
effect.
I didn't get any of the painrelief from it.
The water kept getting cold.
I kept getting cold, um, andthen my hands and knees, because
(50:30):
it's a hard surface.
My hands and knees were gettingvery sore because I was
laboring on my hands and kneesfor a good while.
I don't really know a timelineof anything.
I just kind of woke up and itwas hours later.
But I eventually did whenever Ithink it was, whenever I
(50:51):
started feeling the need to push, I leaned back and I got on my
back.
Well, because I was havingstrictly back labor, I was.
You can see it in some of myhome birth videos.
I'm holding myself up like thisin the bathtub that does not
have enough water in it.
I can figure out for the lifeof me, after I delivered him,
(51:13):
why my arms and my back were soexhausted.
Specifically, my arms and myback were so exhausted.
Specifically, my arms and myback were so sore.
I could hardly even hold himfor the first three, four days.
Well, then I went back andlooked at my videos after the
postpartum high kind of wore offand I'm like oh, it's because I
was planking.
Speaker 1 (51:33):
Yeah, you were using your whole body to hold yourself
up.
Speaker 2 (51:37):
Because I was having back labor and I didn't want my
back pressing up against theground.
So it was just, I did not enjoythat, that was not, that was
not fun.
But and then my water.
My water did not break until Istarted pushing.
So and that was another reasonwhy I did not think I was in
labor is because my water neverbroke, it didn't break until I
(52:01):
pushed, maybe once or twice, andthen I felt it pop and then he
came very quickly after that.
So I pushed, I pushed and then,as he started to transition, I
reached down and I felt him andI had this moment of just bliss.
I will never forget.
(52:22):
Whenever I reached down and Ifelt his little head.
It just like I get emotionaltalking about it, because it was
like for that one moment wherehe was still a part of me and he
was still inside of me, wherehe was safe.
And that's the one thing I missabout pregnancy is him being
(52:43):
safe, knowing he's safe insideof me, and it was just that last
moment of all.
Right now you have to come.
I'm very sad about it.
Now you have to come.
And he, I um, delivered him,and then my husband picked him
up and put him on my chest andit was beautiful.
(53:03):
And then I delivered myplacenta.
I want to say maybe 15, 20minutes after, um, and my
placenta was absolutelybeautiful.
She did.
Speaker 1 (53:16):
I bet with those oysters.
I bet she was a good lookingplacenta.
Speaker 2 (53:20):
She was so pretty and she did so good for him.
She took such good care of him.
Speaker 1 (53:27):
That's amazing.
I just love that.
The call out on the birth poolslash bathtub.
You and I talked about this alittle bit previously.
I did the same thing with myfirst baby.
I was laboring in my bigbathtub thinking, you know, I've
got this big bathtub and it washorrible because it's so hard
(53:48):
and I did not want to be inthere, I just wanted to get out.
Speaker 2 (53:52):
And I wanted to get out too, but I was like we're in
too deep well you are, we'rehaving a home birth.
Speaker 1 (54:00):
I had what with my first was going to the hospital,
so I didn't even believe that Iwas in labor either.
I this is what a clown I was.
You should call the hospitaland ask them.
I didn't know what was going onback then, and so you fast
forward to the second time.
(54:20):
I'm like I am buying a birthpool, I'm getting a birth pool.
Well, I had a midwife until theend, and when that whole thing
dissipated, I decided to buy myown birth pool, and it is night
and day difference.
So next time, get the birthpool.
Speaker 2 (54:34):
When I found out that they have like soft sides and a
soft floor and they were bigand they had handles, I was like
, oh, how did I do that tomyself?
I probably felt more misery forno reason.
Speaker 1 (54:50):
I do think that more midwives should talk about this
home birth, midwives that areattending births Mine at the
time, did you know?
She was like yes, there's,there are big benefits to this,
but I don't think that sometimesthe emphasis is there enough
and it really does make adifference, especially the
handles.
(55:10):
I loved holding onto thehandles and like floating back
and forth in the water Because,like you said, that zero gravity
feeling that comes with beingin a deep pool.
So for those listening, get thebirth pool it makes the
difference.
Speaker 2 (55:26):
Yes, get it, opt for it.
Don't labor in your bath, don'tgive birth in your bathtub the
way I did.
That was no.
Speaker 1 (55:36):
If you want a water birth, get the pool.
It's worth it and you'll find away from there forward.
But that's so beautiful.
I'm so glad that you had abeautiful experience just being
home, being safe, being, youknow, in your space at home, not
being bombarded with questionsand lights, and oh yeah all the
(55:59):
other nonsense my midwives.
Speaker 2 (56:01):
My midwives did absolutely incredible with
allowing physiological birth tohappen.
It.
They were not like.
I don't even remember thembeing in the room.
I don't remember there wasnever at one point where they
were distracting or anythinglike that.
I think they honestly just hungout in the living room until my
(56:25):
husband went and said, hey,he's about to come.
And then they came.
I had the lights off.
I had my, my labor playlistgoing, which, looking back, I
should have put way more songson there because, um, you're a
(56:45):
good, good father playedprobably five times do you
remember what?
Speaker 1 (56:52):
do you remember what song was playing when he came
out?
Or did someone catch it onvideo?
Speaker 2 (56:57):
um brody, do you remember?
No, I don't, I don't think, I'mnot sure, but new york, I don't
know why, but that one justreally stuck in my head.
It played so many times and Iwas like I'm so sorry to
everybody around me.
Speaker 1 (57:15):
Hey, maybe that was the one that was playing.
You never know.
Speaker 2 (57:19):
It could be.
My B-wide is sticking in myhead.
Speaker 1 (57:22):
It could be.
It could be.
My sister had a physiologicalbirth for her third baby after
so she had two C-sections andthen a natural birth at a
birthing center and she had aplaylist going and it did loop,
like you said, and she asked thesame question.
She was like what song wasplaying when I gave birth?
I'm like I have no idea.
(57:42):
I was too busy watching yougive birth.
I do not remember, but Irecorded while she was giving
birth and we went back and Iturned the volume way up to see
whatever song was playing and itwas very significant to her, so
maybe yours might besignificant to you.
Um, water breaking less than15% of women's water break or
(58:14):
less.
I think it's like eight to 15%of women's water breaks before
they're in the pushing phase,and I didn't know that until I
didn't either, until just now.
And that's something that Ithink we all watch these movies
or TV shows, like on Friendswhen, oh, my water broke
everywhere.
Now I'm in labor.
Speaker 2 (58:30):
And that's what we think.
It's this huge gush and thenthe woman's screaming in pain
moments later.
Speaker 1 (58:38):
Yep, and that's not how it is.
My water broke for my first andit trickled with my second and
it didn't break with my thirduntil I was in the pool pushing
like you were.
Speaker 2 (58:50):
So it can be different.
Nothing is an indicator oflabor except labor itself.
Speaker 1 (58:58):
You know what, when the head is coming out, that's
the good indicator, right?
Speaker 2 (59:04):
That's yes.
Speaker 1 (59:07):
Well, I love it.
Thank you for sharing yourstory on birth.
I hope that it encourages otherwomen.
Thank you so much for tuninginto today's episode.
As you're hearing now, this waspart one and there is going to
be a part two we are going todive into.
So much for tuning into today'sepisode.
As you're hearing now, this waspart one and there is going to
be a part two.
We are going to dive into somuch more, from cloth diapering
to being a stay-at-home mom andmore.
(59:27):
So be sure to tune in next week.
In the meantime, you can followher on Instagram at Hayden
H-A-D-E-N.
Dot.
Lee L-E-E dot Johnson.
H-a-d-e-n.
Dot Lee L-E-E dot Johnson.
We're on TikTok at HaydenH-E-Y-Y-D-E-N and, as always,
thank you for tuning in and forbeing on this journey with us.
(59:49):
If you'd like to follow theRadiant Mission outside the
podcast, you can do so onFacebook, instagram or YouTube.
Today we are going to closewith Jeremiah 17, verses seven
through eight Blessed is the onewho trusts in the Lord, whose
confidence is in him.
We're wishing you a radiantweek and we will see you next
(01:00:11):
time.
Bye, everyone.
Hello and welcome to the Radiant Mission Podcast.
My name is Rebecca Toomey andwe are on a mission to encourage
and inspire you as you'renavigating through your life and
with your relationship withChrist.
We've been in a series on beingcountercultural in a secular
world, and today I welcome avery special guest who not only
loves Jesus but recently brokethe mold and went against
(00:55):
cultural norms by having a homebirth for her first baby.
Hayden is now a home birthenthusiast and is all about
instinctual motherhood, and hersweet family lives in Midland
Texas and she is loving life asa stay-at-home mom.
You can find her on Instagramat haydenleejohnson Hayden.
(01:18):
Thank you so much for joiningme today.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Thank you for having me.
I'm so excited.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Yeah, so you and I both have a mutual friend and
that is Audrey at A Joyful Birth.
And so for folks that have beenlistening to the show for a
while, or if you're new here,scroll back like 50 episodes.
And she was on.
But I really just want to goahead and jump in and start with
(01:44):
.
But I really just want to goahead and jump in and start with
.
Can you share a little bitabout you?
Who are you and where are youfrom, and tell us all the things
?
Speaker 2 (01:53):
I am from Stephenville, texas.
I was born in Spokane,washington, though my mom is
from Washington, my dad's fromTexas.
They met and dated for aboutseven years, had me and then
decided that Texas was wherethey were going to call home.
I went to college for a littlebit and then kind of decided it
(02:19):
wasn't for me, dropped out andthen, um, I never even knew that
you could have a home birth andthat was just something that
was never in my vision, it wasnever something I wanted to do.
Um, and then, as of veryrecently like, I'll be honest,
(02:42):
probably two a year ago um, Idecided that that was something
I'd want to do if the Lord didbless my husband and I to have a
baby, and I also felt like, asmy faith grew in Jesus, my faith
in the human body also grew,among so many other things,
(03:03):
beyond birth even.
Um, so, yeah, and then just alot of preparation, research
beforehand.
Um, it was a very easy decisionfor me to make to have my first
baby at home.
And then I also have a familymember that really pushed me in
the counterculture directionwhen she kind of started telling
(03:28):
me because I was on birthcontrol and I wanted to kind of
get off of it, not for anypurpose other than I'm married
and she just kind of told me,like how bad it was for you and
the damage it can do to yourbody and how it spiritually
isn't even good for your soul,and I said whoa sent me down a
(03:55):
rabbit hole and then I gavebirth to my bathtub.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
I love it, I love the jump and I love that you had
people in your life that werespeaking these truths to you,
because sometimes that's where Ifeel like and that's why this
show exists and other podcastslike it is to raise awareness
about things or to talk aboutthings that maybe are not talked
about enough or in a truthfuland real way, and I love that.
You pointed out that there is aspiritual aspect when we're
(04:23):
taking birth control.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Oh yes.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Because you'll hear well, everything has side
effects.
But what about our soul?
What about that side of?
If we're suppressing a piece ofour bodies, a portion of
ourselves, on birth control?
What is that doing for ourgreater spiritual self?
Speaker 2 (04:48):
And celebrating it at the same time to not having a
menstrual cycle and having allthe negative side effects that
go with it.
The celebration of that andit's like, no, your menstrual
cycle is something that'sbeautiful and it means you're a
healthy young woman, and insteadit's derogatory and dirty and,
oh, you don't want to have one,and I understand they can be
(05:10):
like, not fun.
But in the same breath it saysyour body is meant to do what
was created to do that andyou're suppressing it.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Isn't it amazing?
I love that you're using theword suppress here, because it's
accurate.
But isn't it amazing how modernmedicine is all about the
suppression of the human bodyand how our human bodies were
made to be?
Like I mentioned to you beforewe started, I have a little bit
of a cough still.
My cough is my body, expellingwhat it needs to expel.
(05:39):
But what does pharma want to do?
Suppress it with a coughsuppressant, with cough drops.
That's suppressant.
You know, everything is aboutsuppressing the symptom rather
than allowing the body to healand to go through it.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
It's also about escaping discomfort too, which
is very, very heavy in oursociety.
Nobody wants to have discomfort, Nobody wants to sit in it,
Nobody wants to learn from it,grow from it or even just allow
our bodies to go through theprocess of being sick or allow
our bodies to go through theprocess of pregnancy, and it's
(06:16):
it breaks my heart to see somany women wanting to induce
labor at 36, 37 weeks becausethey're uncomfortable and it's
like no, don't do that.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
You're bringing up such a point.
It's amazing because it couldjust be a few more days for some
people, or another week or twoweeks, and it's like we can't
sacrifice a week or two ofdiscomfort to ensure that not
only our baby has a goodexperience, but that we don't
experience birth trauma, goingthrough something that we didn't
(06:50):
need to go through.
But you're right, so much ofthe birth system inside the
hospital is about convenience,is about comfort, is about let's
put us in the best, mostcomfortable, pain-free, so to
speak, air quotes, put us in thebest, most comfortable,
pain-free, so to speak, airquotes position possible.
But I want to back up for asecond, because we're talking
(07:11):
about countercultural stuff andin some ways it's weird for me
to say which I'm sure it is foryou now too to say this is
countercultural, because to me,home birth and avoiding
pharmaceuticals is very normal.
To me, home birth and avoidingpharmaceuticals is very normal.
It's not weird to me, but it'sviewed as against the grain to
(07:32):
society and home birth.
You know it's taboo for a lotof people.
They are like oh my gosh, homebirth is so dangerous.
But God designed our bodies togive birth.
Like you said, he designed ourbodies to have periods and to
menstruate and to go throughthat cycle, and when we don't go
through it and when we forceourselves to be suppressed by
birth control, we cause damageto it.
(07:54):
I mean, birth control is aclass one carcinogen, so that's
something for us to reallyconsider there.
Anyway, let's talk a little bitabout how you got there, because
you were our first time mom.
That home birth and that is notthat common.
(08:14):
It happens, obviously, yes, butwhat was the thing?
Was there a one thing that waslike I've seen what I needed to
see in the hospital, these momskind of thing.
Was it a moment or was itgradual?
And this kind of thing thatyou're like you know what?
I'm staying home.
I I'm not new in that wholething it was.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
It was gradual and then all of a sudden if that
makes any sense at all it wasvery gradual and then it was
like absolutely that I would notdo it any other way.
I kind of like grew up in thehospital system.
(08:58):
I guess you could say for mejust being sick as a child, from
me just being sick as a childand then realizing, as I kind of
went on my journey, there wereso many things that were never
brought into question when I wassick as a child and I was
having these feigning spells andI just was never well, I was
never once asked what my dietwas like.
(09:19):
I was never once asked how areyou sleeping?
What kind of stress levels didyou have?
And looking back, stress wasvery, very clearly a reason why
I was sick and I was never evenasked that it was just immediate
medication.
So that also, and then havingfamily members getting diagnosed
(09:43):
with cancer and then seeingthem go through that long drawn
out process of being in thehospital system and being in and
out of hospitals and visitingthem and them coming home and
sadly having to say goodbye tothem, that also just kind of
tainted my faith in what Ithought of the hospital system.
(10:03):
And that's not to say thatanything was wrong about either
of those situations.
It was just me kind of learningand growing in myself and then
looking back and being like, huh, hmm, that's kind of weird.
And also my um, my family memberAlso my family member.
(10:25):
She had a home birth and thenshe also had a free birth as
well.
And seeing her go through herabsolutely beautiful journey and
I look up to her so much andher kind of opening, cracking
the door for me with why don'tyou look at how bad birth
control is for you?
I went on a spiral and wheneverI, whenever my husband and I
(10:48):
very first decided that wewanted then educating myself,
being informed on everything,trying to figure out what I
envisioned for my birth and howI needed to execute that, and
(11:10):
what I kind of did was I startedat the very far end of the
spectrum, which is free birthing, and I worked my way back and
then found where I would be mostcomfortable.
And then that was what Idecided to do.
And my husband, he made surethat he ate healthy, he worked
out a bunch.
He was right there along withme listening to positive birth
(11:33):
stories and deconstructing theidea of birth in the media and
things like that.
So whenever we decided to getpregnant, I was fully informed.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
I knew exactly what I wanted to do, how I wanted to
do it and, yeah, it wasn't likean aha moment, it was gradual,
and then all of a sudden piecesto this right, because there's
we've talked on the podcast alittle bit about conditioning,
(12:06):
mental conditioning andprogramming I guess you could
call it yes, where we grow upand we're programmed to believe
or think a certain way, likeabout the medical system, as you
mentioned.
You know, when you grow up inthe medical system, you often
feel like that's the place to go.
Those are the experts that yougo to, and then, as you get
older and you see the disservicethat it does to a lot of people
(12:27):
, I think that's the first kindof like crack in the screen.
It's the first crack in it.
You're like wait a second.
I've gone through this with myown mother-in-law who she had a
stroke and went to the hospitaland they couldn't figure out
what was wrong with her.
No, and a couple of weeks latershe was having stroke symptoms
(12:50):
again, very sick, went to adifferent hospital.
They couldn't figure out whatwas wrong with her.
My cousin happens to be adoctor and we pulled her results
from this both hospitals andsent them to her and she said
she's having strokes.
Why are they not?
(13:11):
Why are they not recognizingthis?
It's, it's in their ownpaperwork, you know, it's in
their own tests right here.
So we ended up taking her to astroke hospital and it turns out
she had had dozens of strokes.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Oh bless her heart.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
It's just one of those examples that you know.
So many people I know go to themedical system for help and
don't get it, even when they'reseeking specific help for a
specific thing.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Especially women, especially women.
And it's always so crazy to mehow any woman off the street,
you pull them and say what'swomen's healthcare like?
And it's, oh, it's horrible,but home birth is dangerous and
I don't agree with that, but Idon't trust the medical system.
Or I had endometriosis and PCOSand they would not diagnose me
(14:05):
with either of those, or theysaid that those are like not
even real diagnosis and it'salways crazy to me how a woman
can acknowledge that and saywomen within the medical system
are abused so often.
We're dramatic.
Um, we're making it up, it'sall in our heads.
(14:26):
Well, are you sleeping enough?
Well, any of these factors thatjust like write women off.
But whenever, as soon as we getpregnant very, very quickly,
are we to turn our bodies overentirely to the medical system.
So I feel like there's adisconnect right there that you
are doing an amazing job athighlighting and saying hey,
(14:48):
there are other options forwomen with their healthcare,
especially during pregnancy andlabor and delivery and
postpartum even.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Absolutely.
Hey, I was one of those womenand you'll love this story.
I had an IUD when I was youngerand I was having suicidal
ideation where I was justfantasizing about killing myself
.
It didn't make any sense,because that's not how I am at
all, never have been.
I'm like this is so weird.
(15:20):
This is not me and I knew itwas from the IUD.
It was the hormonal Mirena IUD.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
And.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
I went to get it out First.
Ob couldn't get it out and shedidn't have a ultrasound machine
, so she couldn't see what shewas doing.
So I called my insurance and Iwas like this thing needs to
come out today.
Can you help me find a practicethat can see me today that has
an ultrasound machine?
They found one.
So I go to this place and it'sa male OBGYN and I tell him
(15:53):
what's going on and this iswhere the gaslighting that
you're mentioning comes in.
He says oh, you don't need toget your IUD out, you just need
to be on an antidepressant.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
There you go, convey your book.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
I could have slapped this guy.
I was like, excuse me, sir, butno, I need to get it out.
He did attempt to get it outand couldn't because, guess what
, it was embedded to my uterinewall so I had to have it
surgically removed and yeah, solike worst case scenario, right.
But I want to tell you I was adifferent person within one.
(16:30):
Like I got it out on a Friday,saturday comes by, my husband is
like you're different, you'recalmer, and just the way that I
felt it was like a weight waslifted off of me.
Anxiety that I had felt fromthis thing went away.
I never had thoughts like that,ever again.
And it's so frustrating to methat doctors will say things
(16:55):
like try to cover a problem froma medication with another
medication.
That will also cause problems,and antidepressants and
antipsychotics can also make youway worse and have even bigger
issues.
But then the other thing I wantto address here is the women to
(17:15):
women, part of this woman towoman that Whenever this
conversation I'll give this mystory as an example comes up
within a group of women, thereis a resistance to it oftentimes
, and I know it's a defensemechanism, because women don't
(17:36):
want to think about the idea ofbirth control being taken away
from them.
Yes, it's too hard to thinkabout what life would be like
without birth control.
It's like you have to shatteran idea.
You're shattering theprogramming around birth control
, or you're trying to, by evensuggesting that it could cause a
(17:56):
problem, when anyone could lookat an insert for any birth
control and see the side effectsare a mile long.
So, they'll say things like well, I was fine, I had it for five
years and never had a problem.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
And I was one of those women.
So you know, yes, no, I do, Iwas on.
I was on Nexplanon, the bar inyour arm.
I got put on when I was 18because I had ovarian cysts.
Not any question of well, let'scheck your hormone levels.
Just oh, you have cysts, notany question of, well, let's
check your hormone levels, justoh yeah, and cysts.
(18:28):
Here's birth control.
No, quite like immediately, andI didn't know any better.
I was just like, okay, didn'thave a problem with it for years
and years and years turn around.
My husband and I just gotengaged and I kind of started
thinking about maybe getting itremoved but was still like, eh,
we'll wait until after we'remarried, whatever.
(18:50):
And I went into go have itreplaced and I was like, if I
want to get it removed in acouple months, I can't, because
the time to get it replaced wasup.
I got it replaced and I tellyou, within a week I was exactly
like you.
(19:10):
I was in a completely differentand the reason why I didn't
think it was I thought it's thestress of planning a wedding.
I just got engaged.
So many life changes.
I'm moving all the way toMidland, like that's kind of
what I thought it was for thelongest time.
I say longest time, it wasmaybe a month, cause that's how
(19:32):
bad.
It got very quickly and myhusband one day very, very
bravely sat me down and said Ithink it's your birth control.
Wanted to slap him because howdare you?
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Yeah, how dare you?
You can't take this away fromme.
I was like how?
Speaker 2 (19:52):
dare you First of all tell me that I'm hormonal Crazy
?
He was absolutely correct,cause then I went back to go get
it removed.
Less than a month later, turnsout it was a completely
different drug he had put in myarm oh wow.
They changed the hormonal levelsof it, so my body reacted
negatively to it, extensively.
(20:16):
So, as I'm sitting there in theroom about to get it removed
just now hearing oh well, it'sbecause it's a completely
different hormonal level andit's a completely different drug
I was disgusted.
I felt so betrayed.
And this is an ob and it was amale.
This was an ob that I actuallyreally loved, I liked him.
(20:37):
But after that and then alsofinding out that with Nexpanon
you can actually have an egg getfertilized Did not know that,
was not told that I would havechosen a different birth control
, even at age of 18 if I wouldhave known that, and so I just I
(21:01):
lost all my trust right thenand there, and that's what sent
me on my spiral also.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Yeah, I totally agree with you, but they're the same
experience with having an IUDtoo.
It was something that I didn'trealize or understand fully
until later.
That same thing that you canhave an egg fertilize and go
into your ut, into your uterus.
And with the copper iud inparticular, it makes your uterus
(21:29):
unhospitable, like how gross isthat?
Yeah, it creates anunhospitable, hospitable
environment that can literallytear the embryo apart, and it
just made me feel I went througha lot of just feeling very sad
and guilty, almost.
(21:51):
It's hard to process that, right, because you don't know better,
necessarily until you do.
And that's why we're talkingabout this, because now
everybody knows, right here,right now, now you know, heard
it here.
But it is important for us tohave these conversations because
(22:13):
anything that we put in ourbody that's foreign, that is not
of God, that is not of the Lord, that he didn't create.
We are changing our bodies,we're changing the chemistry of
our bodies, we're changing theway that our bodies work and
function and you know, it's justsomething that I think we all
need to talk about and thinkabout you just going on these
(22:41):
paths and choosing what you feelGod chose best for you to say
I'm not.
I'm not messing with this birthcontrol stuff anymore.
You know, I'm going to trustthe Lord and I'm sure there's
there's other, there's otherfactors and other things that we
can do.
Right, we actually have a wholeseries on fertility awareness
method.
Yes, for those listening thatare scared about the whole birth
(23:03):
control thing, I can't not beon birth control.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Yeah, well, there are other options you know, my
husband and I did those otheroptions and they worked
perfectly.
And the moment, without beingtoo I guess you can't be too TMI
but without being too TMI, likethe moment we decided to try, I
got pregnant because that's howaccurate it can be and it
worked for us for two years on.
(23:28):
We weren't ready to have a baby, so we didn't.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
Yeah, exactly, it's funny when I, when I went to the
OB to actually I ended upgetting a second IUD, if you can
believe that.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
And when I went to finally have it removed.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
I know I got the copper one next and then I had
even more problems.
So anyway, it's a story foranother day.
Well, actually I already sharedthe story on this podcast, so
we'll just scroll back.
You know what he said to me hegoes.
So what are you going to do?
You're not going to you know,you're taking this IUD out.
You're not going to go on thepill or anything.
What are you going to do?
(24:06):
And, first of all, why do Ihave to answer that question to
you guy?
But we said we're going tofollow fertility awareness
method.
And he said, oh, you know whatwe call that parents?
And I was like, okay, thatparents?
(24:30):
And I was like, okay, that'sgross, gross, right and same
thing.
We, we followed fam and didn'thave a baby for a year, whatever
it was, and then, when wedecided that we wanted to get
pregnant, I had understood howmy cycle worked and understood
those fertility windows, andthat's the thing that's really
awesome about it, and I knowthat a lot of folks are worried
about.
Well, I have an irregular cycleand things of that nature.
(24:50):
I'd encourage them to go downthe route of looking into their
diet, following ananti-inflammatory diet,
something of that nature,because that can help get your
hormones back on track.
Our world is so full of toxins.
I was just watching a videotoday about how Tampax put all
these parabens and paraffinsinto their tampons in 2020.
(25:12):
And now the ingredientcomposition is different than it
used to be 10 years ago, let'ssay, and women are sticking
those up their hoo-ha and ofcourse they're going to
influence your hormones and ofcourse they're going to change
and shift the way that ourbodies work.
That's just one product.
It's not body wash and shampoosand lotions and all these
(25:37):
things perfumes, all of theseendocrine disruptors and things
that we use in and on our bodiesthat can influence fertility.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Yes, absolutely yes.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
So let's get back to home birth for a second or for a
while, however long you want togo, because I want to hear more
about you made the decision tohave a home birth.
Did you get nervous as you weregetting closer to your date?
When did you end up having yourbaby?
Were you, were you?
Did you have a guest date?
Or you know due date orwhatever however you wanted to
(26:13):
label it?
Were you looking at that?
Was it something you werethinking about?
Walk us through.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
I was not, so I had no anxiety at all.
As soon as I got pregnant, Ihad no anxiety, I had no fear,
and I had what I called like avery I guess cocky where I was
like I'm so excited for labor, Ican't wait to experience it,
(26:44):
and just the outlook on it, likeI was so excited to give birth,
I was so excited to go intolabor, and I honestly think that
just my faith and knowing thatthis is what I was designed to
do, and then also justunderstanding physiological
birth at such a deep level andunderstanding also contributes
(27:09):
to the peace I felt too, and Iwas.
I was still humbled, thoughthat's not to say I was not
humbled during labor.
I absolutely was.
I was having contractions andwas thinking I had back labor
also the entire time.
I don't think I had onecontraction in my belly at all,
oh no, was he sunny side up.
(27:30):
He was sitting on the oppositeside that he was supposed to, so
he had to rotate all the waydown.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Yeah, so he had to rotate all the way around and
then decided to come up.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
That's usually what happens with back labor.
Right is, babies just have tohave to, has to make their spin.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
Yeah, spinning out to the yes and I did the whole
spin babies thing for monthsbecause he did not leave that
side of my belly.
I don't think he was ever on myleft side once.
He was just on that.
He was where he was comfortablefavorite side of the bed, I
guess.
Um, yeah, right, he, uh, butyeah, I mean, he was good to me
(28:14):
during pregnancy, though Ididn't really have.
I had a very easy pregnancy.
I loved being pregnant, umuntil I would have to get up off
the couch at 40 weeks, nomorning sickness or anything
like that I had a little bit ofmorning sickness, but it wasn't
anything I couldn't manage.
Um, making sure I'm eatingenough protein first thing in
the morning uh, ginger candy, uh, bone broth.
(28:38):
Still, keep, keep exercising.
Uh, I would say if I would getreally nauseous I would take a
cold shower and that would help.
Also For my husband'srecommendations.
He loves telling me anytime Ihave anything wrong with me.
He's like take a cold shower.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
That's.
That's his global advice.
I love it.
Yes, did you follow a specificpregnancy diet, like real food
for pregnancy or brewer's dietor anything like that.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
I kind of did a version of the brewer's diet and
I did read real food forpregnancy and I didn't really
try and like stick to one thing.
I just made sure that I wasalways eating whole, nutrient
dense foods.
I didn't prioritize one thingover another.
I was eating my prenatal Iguess is what you could call it
(29:30):
Lots of eggs, lots of milk, lotsof red meat, lots of smoked
oysters, pearl powder.
I'm trying to think of what thecreator's name is Noelle on
Instagram.
I can't think of her handleright now, but I absolutely love
her and the freely rootedpodcast.
She has a full episode on thereabout prenatal uh diet and I
(29:54):
just kind of took that and ranwith it also, um, she's the one
that recommended the smokedoysters and stuff nasty, but I
did it I was gonna say oyster isgood for you.
I don't know if I could do itand uh, but yeah, I didn't
really follow like a specificdiet I would say, other than
just avoiding junk, avoidingultra processed foods, um, and
(30:17):
avoiding a little too much sugar.
I noticed during my firsttrimester if I would eat a
little too much sugar it wouldalways make me nauseous.
First trimester, if I would eata little too much sugar, it
would always make me nauseous.
So avoiding sugar also.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
But other than that, just listening to my body and
eating what it was telling me toeat.
Yeah, that's awesome.
So you got to 40 weeks, andthen what happens next?
Speaker 2 (30:40):
I got to 40 weeks and I kind of had to mentally
prepare myself that, okay, mymidwives are going to start
talking about induction.
I had to kind of mentally prepmyself for that.
Went in for my 40 weekappointment and, yeah, they did
(31:01):
say they were like, well, 42weeks is when we'll, we can't
take care of you anymore.
And I talked to my husbandabout it and we kind of decided
that if it does reach that pointand if I'm okay and if baby's
okay, we're going to still do ahome birth.
We talked about it, agreed toit.
Thankfully did not have to dothat.
(31:25):
I had him exactly on 41 weeks.
Um, my, I didn't really try andI wasn't sure.
I still was not searching forlabor, I still was not trying to
force labor, I wasn't doing anycraziness.
Um, uh, my husband was lookingup different things to do and we
(31:46):
had a what did we call it Aserotonin day.
We had a serotonin day and hetook me and we got pedicures
together.
We watched my favorite movies.
I think I ate my favorite food,which is pho.
I love pho.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
I think I ate my favorite food, which is pho I
love pho and he just kind ofmade like a day for me serotonin
day, and then the next day Ihad my first contraction while
eating lunch with my family.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
Wow, wow, serotonin day worked.
Look at that, it worked.
That is what I recommend toevery mom I'm like if you're
reaching that point and you'rekind of getting nervous about
your guest date or whatever, theworst thing you can do is
stress.
The worst thing you can do isput pressure on yourself.
The worst thing you can do isrestrict yourself and have that
mentality of what if?
Restrict yourself and have thatmentality of what if it's.
(32:49):
Take it step by step, take itday by day and just really focus
on yourself and being happy,especially with you and your
husband.
One of my most fondest momentsof my husband and I are those
last few days leading up togoing into labor, because those
are the last few days that itwas just him and I and we really
did a lot to cherish those andmake new memories together and
(33:11):
just spend really good qualitytime together also.
So cause I mean birth is whatyou have to completely surrender
yourself to it.
You can't control it.
It's not your job to putyourself into labor.
Your body will do what it'smeant to do, and that's the
mindset I had, and I had him atexactly 41 weeks.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
I love that and it is very true that if we are under
pressure or stress or there'soutside factors, it can prevent
us from going into labor.
I had a doula during my firsthome birth who she shared with
me two out of her four labors,so I think it was like numbers
(33:53):
two and three or something likethat.
She actually went into laborwhen her and her husband went to
stay alone together at a hotel,like she was away from her
other children and it was justher being with her other
children taking care of them.
Her body and her mind wasfocused on that and she couldn't
(34:16):
relax.
And once she went on this youknow, staycation in town,
whatever with her husband for anight, she went into labor.
Wife.
That happened to her and Ithought that that was really
funny.
Now I have not had that issue.
Thankfully I've gone into laborwith all my kids being here,
but I noticed that for myself.
I always have a lot of tasks.
(34:37):
I get very nasty.
And when I complete the list islike when my body's like all
right, you can go into labor nowyour list is done.
So I've made my list shorterwith every pregnancy, just so
we're not waiting around.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
I got so nasty too.
My poor husband.
He was putting together so manydifferent things for me and
helping me check things off myto-do list.
Like I'm cleaning thebaseboards.
Like we got to make a goodfirst impression.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
And the, the nesting pregnancyhormones are so weird too,
because it's not always stuffthat makes sense.
You know, it's like I got toclean out this drawer that I've
never cleaned out in 10 years.
That's not significant orimportant in any way to this
birth of this baby, but that'sjust how it is.
I had two long lists,double-sided, and I start early,
(35:30):
girl.
I'm like at four months, here'smy list of things I need to do
and it doesn't make any sense.
I don't know.
I don't know why I'm this way.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
I wish I started that early.
I waited right up until thatlast minute and said okay, so I
need to do everything you knowwe all.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
We all have our things and our ways of working.
But now you know you got youcan start your list early, yes,
but you know my sister alwaysjokes.
She's like I wish I had yournesting energy, not pregnant,
because then I can actually getthings done.
I had your nesting energy, notpregnant, because then I could
actually get things done.
And I said I wish I had mynesting energy, not pregnant too
(36:13):
.
But all right.
So you got to 41 weeks and thenyou're out to lunch you have
your first contraction.
Did you feel like and this isthe thing that's so fun about
hearing birth stories, when it'sthe first time, it's like did
you know you were in labor?
Did you know that it washappening?
Or were you like I don't know.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
I just heard my husband chuckle in the
background because I did notbelieve I was in labor until I
was probably seven, eightcentimeters dilated, like I was
having consistent contractions.
I the reason why I did notthink I was in labor is because
(36:49):
I did not feel it in my stomach.
I only felt them in my back andI also had never given birth
before.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
So I'm like okay, so as soon as my contractions done.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
Um, I'm like totally fine, like I'm chatting, I'm
sitting here like I feel normal,and then I would have another
one and then be normal again.
And I didn't.
I was like I don't know aboutthat and that's the one thing
that no amount of preparationwatching birth, watching home
birth videos, listening to birthstories prepared me for is how
(37:29):
true labor actually goes, solike you can watch it.
But when I was going through it, I'm like that's, that's not
what I'm going through.
So I think my doula and mymidwife showed up at the same
(37:51):
time and I told my husband Iwanted my doula there a little
bit early, but it didn't happenbecause my contractions went
from five minutes apart to aminute apart very quickly and I
don't even remember my doula ormy midwife coming to the getting
here.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
I don't even remember them arriving.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
That's how far gone I was and I was in birthing la la
land and uh.
But yeah, I just gaslightedmyself aggressively that I'm not
in labor.
It's also the which I'm workingon it.
The aggressive people pleaserin me and the overwhelming me to
(38:35):
not be an inconvenience.
I was so terrified of tellingmy midwife or my doula to come
to the house and then meactually not be in labor.
That was a horrible fear ofmine.
I would have felt so bad forwasting their time doing that,
so that also contributed to thereason why it took until my
husband was like I'm notlistening to you anymore, I'm
(38:56):
just going to call them.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
I think that's a pretty common anymore.
I'm just going to call them Ithink that's a pretty common
thing and that's a good call out, because that is something that
a lot of women worry about whenthey're having a baby and,
whether it's the first time ornot, is am I really in labor?
Is this really happening?
But I also do think that thereisn't a need for anybody else to
(39:19):
be there, because you're doingyour thing.
So it's okay to wait, it's coolto wait, and for those home
birthing, you're pretty prepared, no matter what, right Like,
there's always the, there'salways going to be the potential
that you're going to have thebaby before the midwife comes.
Oh, yeah, so that's something.
That's like what?
(39:39):
Yeah, so you're ready for that.
So you know, yes, it wasawesome.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
I didn't.
I didn't initially plan which,looking back, I am so glad I did
hire a doula.
I initially.
I initially hired her in mymind to help my husband because
he just kept asking me um um, Imight butcher her last name, but
emily uh saldea with the freebirth society.
(40:09):
We watched her um uh podcastepisode over how your partner
can assist you in your freebirth and we watched it together
and he still was like I'm stillso nervous, I still like I'm
still I have so much anxiety.
And so in my mind I was like,okay, we'll hire a doula that
(40:30):
can, when I'm in labor, doingall the things she can assist,
help you, to help me, I guess?
Sure, yeah, she was phenomenal.
I absolutely loved my doula.
She was amazing.
I could not have handled mybirth and my delivery as well as
I did without her.
She was incredible and but yeah, looking back, I got her for
(40:50):
him and then she ended up beingeverything I needed and more.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
That's awesome.
I'm so glad to hear that.
It sounds like she reallysupported you.
It was probably veryencouraging.
I don't know if she was helpingwith positions or counter
pressure or anything like that,but that can be really helpful
too.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
Yes, she was, she was doing, she was doing all the
things, and then she also helpedme for my breastfeeding journey
too, and I'm also convincedbreastfeeding for me has been
very, very easy.
The Lord has blessed meincredibly in that department.
I have not had any trouble withit at all, but she also set me
up for success with that also.
So I really appreciate that.
(41:30):
That's the one thing I willalways tell soon-to-be moms that
want to breastfeed is take alactation course, because
there's so much out there thatyou don't know about, and it
breaks my heart to hearbreastfeeding journeys end
simply because they don't knowand simply because they don't
have the support, and it makesme so sad.
(41:50):
So that is one thing find alactate, find a um IBCLC and go
through that process with them,because they will set you up
with success.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
Absolutely.
Yep, absolutely agree.
Speaker 2 (42:04):
Most of them.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
True.
Yes, we had an IBCLC on theshow.
I mean I wish I knew theseepisodes off the top of my head,
but I don't.
Her name is Sarah and she gavesome really great advice and
then also some information onties and what to look for and
things of that nature, becausethat is why a lot of moms can
struggle.
I actually have had ties in allmy kids and still have
(42:30):
breastfed and been fortunateenough to not struggle to
breastfeed.
I did have pain with my first,but I thought that was normal at
the time and then by the timelike the couple of weeks went by
was over and I never had anissue ever since.
So I'm in the same boat withyou that breastfeeding has been
(42:50):
a very positive and good journey.
I do think that it's importantfor moms to seek that education
and help and look into thingsthat can never hurt and just get
educated.
But you know, the big thing toois not to hold too much stress
or fear.
I think that a lot of moms thinkthat they need to be pumping
(43:11):
bottles of milk when a baby'sborn and like they need a pinky
know fingernail pinky fingernailsize of milk the first week.
Yes, they're feeding, theydon't need all this milk, and
that's something that I see alot in these mom groups I'm in
is I'm not producing enough, mymilk hasn't come in and it's
like your body needs to do?
Speaker 2 (43:33):
yes, exactly, and pumping also is not a good
indicator of what your supply isat all.
And I see, and I see so manymoms say, oh, I'm only pumping,
like this much milk, my of likelow supply, I need to supplement
with one.
No, y'all like, what you'repumping is not accurate of how
much your baby is receiving, andif there is latch issues or
(43:55):
anything like that, you can findresources and help for that as
well.
But another thing that just isthe belief that there's so many
things within the birthing worldand just motherhood in general,
of things that are marketed asa have to do.
You must do that, you do nothave to do, you don't have to
pump.
(44:16):
Nobody has to keep like.
Not every single mom has topump in order to keep a supply
up.
Now, there are nuances forabsolutely everything, but a mom
that is able to breastfeednormally does not need to pump,
and pumping can also cause somany issues in the long run Also
, especially if you're not doingit correctly or have the
(44:38):
support of a IBCLC to educateyou on when and how to do it, if
that is something that you wantor need to do.
But the belief that, oh, youabsolutely have to pump.
No, you don't.
You don't have to put that muchadditional stress on yourself.
You don't have to give yourbaby a bottle.
You don't have to do anything.
The only thing you have to dois listen to yourself.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
The only thing your baby needs is you.
That's right.
Reach, yeah, absolutely.
You know, something that Ilearned that I didn't know going
into my first baby nursingexperience was that the milk
changes throughout the day.
And so let's say that a momdoesn't know this and she is
pumping for night feeds, let'ssay, and then she's not giving
(45:27):
the baby's not getting all ofthe milk, she's freezing some of
it.
It's like, technically, yourbaby isn't getting a percentage
of milk that you're producingthat changes in its fats and in
its carbohydrates throughout theday.
And I find found that reallyinteresting and why and also is
fascinating to me like somepeople would pump and they would
(45:48):
combine all of their milktogether from the whole day,
from morning, afternoon to night, and there's a reason that it
has these different levels to it.
And there's a reason that ithas these different levels to it
.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
So the milk thing is like a whole hole that anyone
can go down.
Yes, I've gone down it justbecause my passion for
everything pregnancy, birthrelated it's like a branch of it
that I'm also obsessed with,because breath smoke is so
incredible and so amazing andit's so innately designed to be
(46:21):
exactly what it needs to be foryour baby.
And it breaks my heart to seemoms that try everything they
can to have a successful journeyand they end up not being able
to have that.
And I don't want to say give up, because if you don't have the
support to go on, then it's notyou giving up Like you did not
(46:42):
fail, it's a system that was setup for you to fail.
And the lack of support aroundthat is, I don't know it.
Just it just really reallymakes me sad to see that so
often.
Speaker 1 (46:56):
Oh, absolutely, and a lot of women.
It's funny that you mentionednot all IBCLCs or lactation
consultants.
Let's say I don't know if thiswoman specifically was, but when
I was at the hospital with myfirst, this lactation consultant
came in and she was trying toget me to nurse in positions
(47:17):
that she thought I should nursein, for whatever reason.
My baby and I were mostcomfortable when she was upright
, so it was like her head was upand down, like she was just up
and down, not across, and shekept trying to say try football,
do this, do that.
And I think it's probablybecause of her tie.
It just pinched me every otherway, so that was the most
(47:39):
comfortable.
This lady brought other peoplein the room like I was a circus
freak.
She was like I'm in here, I'venever seen anybody nurse in this
position before.
I'm like you've never seen anupright position.
Speaker 2 (47:53):
This is literally a position but to go the latch in
every way.
He'll latch Like we've donesome weird things.
Speaker 1 (48:03):
However, baby is going to latch is how baby is
going to latch.
And it's just an example of ifI would have had head trash
about that or beenself-conscious, that could have
been something that deterred mefrom continuing to breastfeed.
And I think that that'ssomething that a lot of
consultants or people in thespace, just you know need to
(48:23):
consider is how they'reapproaching moms and how they're
approaching the situation tohelp and to be supportive,
because babies are gonna do whatthey're gonna to do.
Speaker 2 (48:37):
Yes, yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (48:41):
Well now I don't want to skip over the birth part,
because that's where we got to.
Yes, so you, your doula getsthere, she's helping you out.
Your midwife gets there.
Um, were you laboring in?
You said you were in your tubor you had a birth pool, or both
.
Speaker 2 (48:59):
Well.
So whenever my midwives firstdid their in-home meeting yeah,
like visit to like look at thehouse and I asked them I said,
hey, we have a pretty bigbathtub.
Would this just work instead ofa laboring tub?
(49:19):
And they said, yeah, no, we'vehad moms give birth in their
bathtubs all the time.
If that's what you would ratherdo, and I was like sure, let's
just do that.
So I told them we'll just dothat.
If there is one thing I couldchange about my birth, it is
laboring in that dang tub,because the water was not nearly
(49:42):
high enough to where.
I don't think I got that.
I have people on Instagram askme often how was your experience
with a water birth?
Would you recommend it?
I don't know, because I did notget any of the benefits that
come from birthing in the water,other than for my son being
born very peacefully andsmoothly, and not abruptly, I
(50:07):
guess.
So the transition was reallygood for him going into the
water, but for me also havingback labor, I would not do that
again.
The water wasn't deep enough, soI didn't get that zero gravity
effect.
I didn't get any of the painrelief from it.
The water kept getting cold.
I kept getting cold, um, andthen my hands and knees, because
(50:30):
it's a hard surface.
My hands and knees were gettingvery sore because I was
laboring on my hands and kneesfor a good while.
I don't really know a timelineof anything.
I just kind of woke up and itwas hours later.
But I eventually did whenever Ithink it was, whenever I
(50:51):
started feeling the need to push, I leaned back and I got on my
back.
Well, because I was havingstrictly back labor, I was.
You can see it in some of myhome birth videos.
I'm holding myself up like thisin the bathtub that does not
have enough water in it.
I can figure out for the lifeof me, after I delivered him,
(51:13):
why my arms and my back were soexhausted.
Specifically, my arms and myback were so exhausted.
Specifically, my arms and myback were so sore.
I could hardly even hold himfor the first three, four days.
Well, then I went back andlooked at my videos after the
postpartum high kind of wore offand I'm like oh, it's because I
was planking.
Speaker 1 (51:33):
Yeah, you were using your whole body to hold yourself
up.
Speaker 2 (51:37):
Because I was having back labor and I didn't want my
back pressing up against theground.
So it was just, I did not enjoythat, that was not, that was
not fun.
But and then my water.
My water did not break until Istarted pushing.
So and that was another reasonwhy I did not think I was in
labor is because my water neverbroke, it didn't break until I
(52:01):
pushed, maybe once or twice, andthen I felt it pop and then he
came very quickly after that.
So I pushed, I pushed and then,as he started to transition, I
reached down and I felt him andI had this moment of just bliss.
I will never forget.
(52:22):
Whenever I reached down and Ifelt his little head.
It just like I get emotionaltalking about it, because it was
like for that one moment wherehe was still a part of me and he
was still inside of me, wherehe was safe.
And that's the one thing I missabout pregnancy is him being
(52:43):
safe, knowing he's safe insideof me, and it was just that last
moment of all.
Right now you have to come.
I'm very sad about it.
Now you have to come.
And he, I um, delivered him,and then my husband picked him
up and put him on my chest andit was beautiful.
(53:03):
And then I delivered myplacenta.
I want to say maybe 15, 20minutes after, um, and my
placenta was absolutelybeautiful.
She did.
Speaker 1 (53:16):
I bet with those oysters.
I bet she was a good lookingplacenta.
Speaker 2 (53:20):
She was so pretty and she did so good for him.
She took such good care of him.
Speaker 1 (53:27):
That's amazing.
I just love that.
The call out on the birth poolslash bathtub.
You and I talked about this alittle bit previously.
I did the same thing with myfirst baby.
I was laboring in my bigbathtub thinking, you know, I've
got this big bathtub and it washorrible because it's so hard
(53:48):
and I did not want to be inthere, I just wanted to get out.
Speaker 2 (53:52):
And I wanted to get out too, but I was like we're in
too deep well you are, we'rehaving a home birth.
Speaker 1 (54:00):
I had what with my first was going to the hospital,
so I didn't even believe that Iwas in labor either.
I this is what a clown I was.
You should call the hospitaland ask them.
I didn't know what was going onback then, and so you fast
forward to the second time.
(54:20):
I'm like I am buying a birthpool, I'm getting a birth pool.
Well, I had a midwife until theend, and when that whole thing
dissipated, I decided to buy myown birth pool, and it is night
and day difference.
So next time, get the birthpool.
Speaker 2 (54:34):
When I found out that they have like soft sides and a
soft floor and they were bigand they had handles, I was like
, oh, how did I do that tomyself?
I probably felt more misery forno reason.
Speaker 1 (54:50):
I do think that more midwives should talk about this
home birth, midwives that areattending births Mine at the
time, did you know?
She was like yes, there's,there are big benefits to this,
but I don't think that sometimesthe emphasis is there enough
and it really does make adifference, especially the
handles.
(55:10):
I loved holding onto thehandles and like floating back
and forth in the water Because,like you said, that zero gravity
feeling that comes with beingin a deep pool.
So for those listening, get thebirth pool it makes the
difference.
Speaker 2 (55:26):
Yes, get it, opt for it.
Don't labor in your bath, don'tgive birth in your bathtub the
way I did.
That was no.
Speaker 1 (55:36):
If you want a water birth, get the pool.
It's worth it and you'll find away from there forward.
But that's so beautiful.
I'm so glad that you had abeautiful experience just being
home, being safe, being, youknow, in your space at home, not
being bombarded with questionsand lights, and oh yeah all the
(55:59):
other nonsense my midwives.
Speaker 2 (56:01):
My midwives did absolutely incredible with
allowing physiological birth tohappen.
It.
They were not like.
I don't even remember thembeing in the room.
I don't remember there wasnever at one point where they
were distracting or anythinglike that.
I think they honestly just hungout in the living room until my
(56:25):
husband went and said, hey,he's about to come.
And then they came.
I had the lights off.
I had my, my labor playlistgoing, which, looking back, I
should have put way more songson there because, um, you're a
(56:45):
good, good father playedprobably five times do you
remember what?
Speaker 1 (56:52):
do you remember what song was playing when he came
out?
Or did someone catch it onvideo?
Speaker 2 (56:57):
um brody, do you remember?
No, I don't, I don't think, I'mnot sure, but new york, I don't
know why, but that one justreally stuck in my head.
It played so many times and Iwas like I'm so sorry to
everybody around me.
Speaker 1 (57:15):
Hey, maybe that was the one that was playing.
You never know.
Speaker 2 (57:19):
It could be.
My B-wide is sticking in myhead.
Speaker 1 (57:22):
It could be.
It could be.
My sister had a physiologicalbirth for her third baby after
so she had two C-sections andthen a natural birth at a
birthing center and she had aplaylist going and it did loop,
like you said, and she asked thesame question.
She was like what song wasplaying when I gave birth?
I'm like I have no idea.
(57:42):
I was too busy watching yougive birth.
I do not remember, but Irecorded while she was giving
birth and we went back and Iturned the volume way up to see
whatever song was playing and itwas very significant to her, so
maybe yours might besignificant to you.
Um, water breaking less than15% of women's water break or
(58:14):
less.
I think it's like eight to 15%of women's water breaks before
they're in the pushing phase,and I didn't know that until I
didn't either, until just now.
And that's something that Ithink we all watch these movies
or TV shows, like on Friendswhen, oh, my water broke
everywhere.
Now I'm in labor.
Speaker 2 (58:30):
And that's what we think.
It's this huge gush and thenthe woman's screaming in pain
moments later.
Speaker 1 (58:38):
Yep, and that's not how it is.
My water broke for my first andit trickled with my second and
it didn't break with my thirduntil I was in the pool pushing
like you were.
Speaker 2 (58:50):
So it can be different.
Nothing is an indicator oflabor except labor itself.
Speaker 1 (58:58):
You know what, when the head is coming out, that's
the good indicator, right?
Speaker 2 (59:04):
That's yes.
Speaker 1 (59:07):
Well, I love it.
Thank you for sharing yourstory on birth.
I hope that it encourages otherwomen.
Thank you so much for tuninginto today's episode.
As you're hearing now, this waspart one and there is going to
be a part two we are going todive into.
So much for tuning into today'sepisode.
As you're hearing now, this waspart one and there is going to
be a part two.
We are going to dive into somuch more, from cloth diapering
to being a stay-at-home mom andmore.
(59:27):
So be sure to tune in next week.
In the meantime, you can followher on Instagram at Hayden
H-A-D-E-N.
Dot.
Lee L-E-E dot Johnson.
H-a-d-e-n.
Dot Lee L-E-E dot Johnson.
We're on TikTok at HaydenH-E-Y-Y-D-E-N and, as always,
thank you for tuning in and forbeing on this journey with us.
(59:49):
If you'd like to follow theRadiant Mission outside the
podcast, you can do so onFacebook, instagram or YouTube.
Today we are going to closewith Jeremiah 17, verses seven
through eight Blessed is the onewho trusts in the Lord, whose
confidence is in him.
We're wishing you a radiantweek and we will see you next
(01:00:11):
time.
Bye, everyone.
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