Dennis Rodman, Avoiding Obstacles, & AITAH

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The Real Dream Podcast returns from our hiatus. In todays episode, we react to the recent revelations about Dennis Rodman and his daughter Trinity's strained relationship. We explore the impact of absentee parenting and the lessons fathers can take from their story. Then, we shift the focus to the powerful role fathers play in their daughters' lives. From building confidence to shaping their values, we discuss what it truly means to be present and engaged as a father. Tune in for a raw and insightful conversation on fatherhood, accountability, and growth.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 2 (00:11):
and welcome to the real dream podcast.
I'm your host daily news.
I'm here with my boy, duke man.
How you doing today?
I'm good man.
How are you?
I'm good, I'm good.
Uh, to everybody listening tothis.
This is gonna come outchristmas week, so we wish you a
Merry Christmas, man.
Hope you enjoy your holidaysHappy holidays.

Speaker 3 (00:27):
Yes, good to know that everybody's celebrating
Christmas, true, true.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
First episode back, and man, let's just get back
into it.

Speaker 3 (00:36):
What it's been over a year.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
Yeah yeah, it's been over a year since we recorded an
episode and had a coupleinterviews and everything like
that.
Took a break, got our liveschanged and dealing with some
stuff in our own personal lives,and now we're in a good spot to
just get back to it.
Man, gotta get our swagger backright quick.
Yeah.
Yeah, had to take a little bitof time.

(00:59):
I don't know if I ever hadswagger.
I had something.
I don't know if I call itswagger, but yeah, man, let's
get back into it.
Let's get on our first topic.
Our first topic is this wholeDennis Rodman thing.
Now, I know you didn't knowabout this.
No, you didn't.

Speaker 3 (01:17):
Somewhat I knew a little bit, but not everything
Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
So we're going back into this whole story about
Dennis Rodman and his daughter,trinity.
She recently opened up on apodcast about a strained
relationship between her and herfather, was calling him out,
calling him that he was a dad byblood only and it was revealed
that he was absent and thingslike that.

(01:42):
So we're going to play you theclip.

Speaker 3 (01:43):
Well, he's running around in a wedding dress, so I
mean that might have somethingto do with it.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
He was tripping back in the 90s.
He was out there.
Honestly, I didn't even know hehad kids.
I didn't either.
So but yeah, his daughter,Trinity Rodman, is actually.
She's a the USA national soccerteam.
She's a professional, I think.
She plays for Manhattan.

Speaker 3 (02:09):
The.

Speaker 2 (02:09):
Manhattan soccer team .

Speaker 3 (02:11):
Oh, you're the NWSL, yep.

Speaker 2 (02:15):
I'll go ahead and play the clip and we'll go ahead
and react to what she had tosay about old dad.

Speaker 4 (02:20):
I think what the most frustrating part about it is is
.
I think, with how successful hewas and how rich he was, he was
surrounded by a lot of toxicpeople.
He's never understood thatpeople could actually just want
to be around him and to justwant to, like, make him happy.

Speaker 1 (02:38):
Like we.
Yes, we're coming to you formoney because we're literally
living in a fucking car, but wealso want you.
But he's so paranoid ofwhatever's going on in his life
that he can't like accept whatyou guys are trying to give him.
And so it's like this cat andmouse game where you guys feel
like you're constantly beingrejected.

Speaker 4 (02:57):
For me.
Emotionally.
He's put me through like, oh mygosh, like even just him not
talking to me for months, monthsand months.
And then he randomly calls andhe's like hey, like I'm thinking
of doing a TV show, reality TVshow you want to join?
I'm just like whoa, we had anexpedition and we kind of lived
in that for a little bit.

(03:17):
We tried to live with him.
But he's having parties 24 seven.
He's bringing random in.
He loves the spotlight, heloves the cameras, he loves
bringing his children on stageand being like, oh, these are my
kids.
I'm crying, no one knows what'sgoing on and I'm like, dude, my
dad's here.
And then I walk over and againthere's cameras everywhere.
He grabs my head and I juststart bawling into his arms as
if, like it's a daddy-daughter,like I lost hope in like ever

(03:45):
Getting him back.
I answer the phone now for,like my conscience, to be like
he needed to hear my voicebefore anything happens, like
that's why I answer the phone,not for me he's not a dad, maybe
by blood, but nothing else.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
How long ago was this interview.

Speaker 3 (03:53):
This video interview was done a couple weeks ago,
like a week or so ago I thoughtI remember seeing something that
they were doing good like,because I I knew they had a
strange relationship, yeah, butI thought I heard that they came
together like before theolympics actually, yeah, and was
really good and on goodspeaking terms and he was around

(04:13):
and stuff.
So something must change.
But tennis, robin man, I meanyeah, anybody that remembers the
90s?

Speaker 2 (04:21):
god, I remember that man married himself, like I just
, I just remember him in thewedding dress and I remember the
jordan talking about the.
Uh, the last day vacation, yesyou need a break oh man.

(04:42):
So all right, so let's, let'sjump into this like.
Oh man, so what does thisreveal about, like the impact of
absentee parenting, and howdoes like men like us deal?
How do we handle the pressureof parenting and not have to
like get out?

(05:02):
You know what I mean,especially when the struggles
like and struggles take us awayfrom home, because dennis robin
I don't think he was an actuallike absentee father where he
was just like I'm booking it,you know what I mean he just
kind of nba girls, hispriorities was just he got
caught up.

Speaker 3 (05:19):
Sound like he got caught up.
Yeah, um, it's not like he.
I I do know.
I remember seeing a, a movieabout his life and I don't know,
I don't think his firstdaughter, um, I believe it was a
little girl, I hope I'm notmisquoted, but he was there for
her and then that woman, atleast in the movie, if I

(05:45):
remember correctly, kind of tookhis kid away from him.
And that's when, because Denniswas like strict, cut and
everything.
When he first got into theleague he was quiet, soft spoken
, just got rebounds and then alot of this.
I don't want to say I don'tknow what the man's been
diagnosed with or anything likethat, but all this craziness and

(06:07):
foolishness that we started tosee a lot of it stemmed from
when he couldn't see his door,his first daughter as much as
possible.
Now, obviously he followed apattern with that and and
repeated, and I don't know, Idon't know how many children he
has I know this young lady's inher 20s, so I don't know if this
is the second kid or what whereshe's at in that that hierarchy

(06:30):
of children, but it sounds likeand again, I don't know his
full background or anything likethat, so I'm just going off of
things that I've heard and seen.
I don't know if he ever wastaught how to be a dad or taught
how to be a man per se, becausehe's got a lot of problems.

(06:50):
He's got a lot of issues.
He's got a lot of mental issuesand stuff like that.
So I don't know.
I'm not trying to give him apass or anything like that.
I know me personally, I try tobe there for my kids as much as
I possibly can, working or notworking.
Obviously, I've never been inthe NBA, so I don't know how, I
don't know that life but kidstend to just want somebody to

(07:13):
feel like they care for them, tofeel like that, no matter what
mom or dad for that matter isdoing, they're going to always
be there for me.
I can always, I can always, Ican always, I can always, I can
always count on mom or count ondad.

(07:33):
It's clear that this young ladydoes not feel that way.
It can go one or two waysbecause, not to go too far off
topic, but Jalen Rose JalenRose' dad was in the NBA.
He didn't know about his daduntil he got older and he used
that as fuel to motivate him toget to the NBA and become a

(07:54):
better player than his dad was.
And he said his motivation wasstrictly that.
So he can see what he missedout on.
Jalen Rose's number is theopposite of his dad's number.
See, I didn't know that, all ofthat.
You know what I'm saying.
When he was in high school,five he was just five in the
pros, but in high school and Idon't remember what that number
was.
But he purposely flipped hisnumber on what his dad's number

(08:16):
was.
Okay, so his dad can be like outyou, right, I don't need you,
you are a sperm to her type ofthing.
So I don't know if this younglady used that same uh
motivation to become becauseshe's one of the great, one of
the best uh soccer players inthe world, right, yeah, you know
.
So I don't know if she usedthat as the same motivation or
not.
Because they had I know theyhad a hard life, because you

(08:38):
know they, they were hard up formoney, like mom didn't sound.
I don't think the mom asked formuch from from uh dennis and
such.
They absolutely positivelyneeded it and stuff like that.
So I don't know.
But I mean you know.

Speaker 2 (08:51):
So reports say that like the moms, like she was
talking in an interview abouthow the mom really tried, really
trying to create a stableenvironment with all the chaos.
And the daughter in theinterview you can go check it

(09:12):
out she even talked about howDennis Rodman, when she was with
him, was like bringing a bunchof women home and stuff like
that.
Yeah, man.
So I think I remember being inhigh school right and I remember
playing football.
Think I remember being in highschool right and I remember
playing football, and I remembermy parents had to work.
My dad worked 12 hours in themorning, my grandma worked 12

(09:36):
hours at night and that was ajob, or vice versa, my mom
worked 12 hours during the day,my dad worked 12 hours at night
and he had to sleep during theday.
My mom worked 12 hours duringthe day, my dad worked 12 hours
at night and he had to sleepduring the day.
And so there was a lot likethey had to do because we had
damn near a thousand kids,siblings, right, and so, uh, and
I remember playing football mysenior year and I remember it
was senior night and I remembertalking to my dad.

(09:57):
I was like, hey, are you gonnabe able to come?
He was like, nah, I'm not gonnabe able to and I was like, all
right, cool, I understandbecause you know, I understand,
I'm the oldest of my siblings.
I'm like I totally understandthat.
And so in my mind I'm talkingwith some of the other players
because they had a rule that youcan't just go out to the field
by yourself so they won't haveother parents come out for you

(10:20):
or other coaches or something.
Right, do that too.
Right.
And we're walking out to thefield on a senior night and
right before the seniors get out, my dad taps me on the shoulder
pad and he's like I'll meet youon the 50 yard line.
And I'm like, oh shit, you knowwhat I mean.
Okay, you bet.
Now we had one teammate whosedad was like dealing with some
other stuff, like personalissues, and so all the I hate to

(10:44):
say this all the brothers justgot together and met him at the
50-yard line my dad and someoneelse's dad and a couple others
and they met him so that way hewouldn't be alone.
But I remember that meaning somuch to me.
Like, just not necessarily.
Like, I understand, you got towork, you got to do things and
things like that.
I don't know what strings hepulled to even get there, but he

(11:08):
was at least there.
He was like I'm gonna be herefor the first half, you give me
for the first half.
Then I gotta go to work.
I'm like, okay, I'm good withthat, um and uh, so then fast
forward.
I'm grown, my kid has a game umhour and 15 minutes away and my
concern is you're not going tofall and get a concussion with
your clumsy ass at this game andme not be able to me find out

(11:31):
that they taking you to thehospital.
That's not gonna happen.
And so I pulled some strings atwork and I'm working a lot for
the holidays and I pulled somestrings and I was able to get
off work like an hour and a halfearlier.
So I'm like bet I can make thegame.
So I leave early, I make thegame and I pull up right when

(11:53):
the coach is giving his speechto go on the court.
And you can see, as I walked byhim, she like saw me and like
got teary-eyed and tried like toplay it off and smile and not
try to make eye contact with me.
Um, but uh, and then she goesout and then she scores like 20

(12:14):
points in the game, right, andso it was just super cool.
Because afterwards she's like Iappreciate you coming and you
realize, like they don't.
They don't acknowledge the factthat you work, they don't
acknowledge the fact that yourback is hurt or anything like
that.
But in that and in this moment,like we you know we old now, I'm
not old.

(12:34):
I like to pretend I'm not.
You're not that old, I'm sorry,you're not that old, I'm not
old.
But my knees, you are not thatold, my knees, you are not fat,
I'm not that old.
But my knees don't work likethey used to.
Not old, I tell my knees that.
Tell my knees that they mid 30s, because I'd be when I'd be.
I saw my, I saw a video of merunning.
That shit is not pretty.

(12:55):
That shit is not pretty.
That is not young me, that isnot a young body, uh, but uh,
but like my daughter's, like ourkids are 13, 14 years old.
That's not a long life.
So that is a huge moment forthem, whereas us is like I'll
reminisce about that, that waspretty cool about, and with them

(13:18):
it's like, oh, those are thethings they remember.

Speaker 3 (13:21):
Yeah, yeah, man, I remember the people that are
there for them.

Speaker 2 (13:24):
Right, right, and it just.
I think the biggest issue withthis story is that she's grown,
she's accomplished stuff, andthere's always this narrative,
this question on the line as faras who is the responsibility?
It is to rectify relationshipsonce children get older and
become adults themselves, and itwhether or not it's on the

(13:46):
parents or not.
And I know some people that arelike, oh my kid, they done with
me, and I mean it is what it is.
No, you gotta put in work torectify that relationship or
accept the fact that they'regonna be on podcasts talking
about you.
You can't be a union.

Speaker 3 (14:04):
To me it's just a lot All you can do.
It's tough, especially in thissituation.
I don't know where his headspace is at.
I don't know if it's his guiltthat's not allowing him to be

(14:27):
the father that he wants to be.
And obviously I'm just goingoff of how I feel about the
situation because I don't knowthe man.
You know it could be anything,it could be.
He's embarrassed by the way hetreated his mom.
I'm not saying that any of thesethings are right, because

(14:48):
ultimately, he is the adult inthe situation.
Well, they're both adults now,but he is the dad in the
situation.
So I do think it's always up tohim to rectify whatever issues.
It may be, having an adultconversation with his adult

(15:09):
daughter, because I want to sayshe's mid-20s, yeah, she's a
grown-down, so she's capable ofhaving an adult conversation
with and, at the end of the day,your kids just want to love you
.
At the end of the day, yourkids want to feel like you love
them and they want to love youright?
Um, as as much as she wastalking about there and upset

(15:31):
she was or well, not necessarilyupset, but speaking her truth.
I guarantee you, if he pickedup the phone and talked to her
and explained things.
She might not like what he'ssaying, but she can understand
it and then they can startmoving forward and having a
productive relationship goingforward.

Speaker 2 (15:48):
Right, snoop Dogg was at the Olympics.
Let's be real, snoop Dogg wasthe biggest supporter fan of the
Olympics.
He was sitting next to SimoneBiles' mom.
He was there.
He was over there like powerlifting, like a blank pole.
Snoop was just out there havingthe time of his life who's like

(16:11):
50, 60 years old now?
But you just gotta be there andI think, yeah, you can have
conversation and, yeah, they maynot forgive you at that time.
You know what I mean, but she'sa national soccer player, just
be there.
She know what I mean, but she'sa national soccer player, just
be there.
She's at the age where she'shopefully, maybe eventually

(16:31):
gonna start starting her ownfamily.
You know what I mean and yougotta, yeah, man, it just I
don't.
I don't see where it's like Iunderstand you want to look at
the world through a differentlens, but it's like there is no
different lens when it comes toyour kid.
Your kid's lens is or yourchild or your daughter's lens.

Speaker 3 (16:54):
it's hers and so you got in the day.
When it's all said and done,that's your legacy.
So what do you want your legacy?
Going around, thinking aboutyou?
Yeah, that's my thought process.
Um, you know, when people ask me, I'm like, at this point in my
life, I'm focused on my legacy.
I'm focused on when I pass andmy children are still here, what

(17:16):
conversations are they going tobe able to have about me?
Right, right, um, you know, Iwant people to be able to come
to my kids and be like, hey, Iknew your dad.
Your dad was a hell of a person.
You know, your dad did this forme, or not even did this for me
.
Your dad was there for me, yourdad, whenever I needed somebody
, I knew I can count on your,your pops.
That's what I want people tosay about me.

(17:37):
That's what I care about atthis point in my life is and you
, just as you get older,especially as a man, you start
to face your mortality.
Yeah, um, and that's where I'mat, like I, you know, I'm 47
years old.
I'll be 48 in march.
I still have a lot of time left, I feel like.

(17:59):
But but with my, my youngest isseven, you know.
So you know, do the math there.
Yeah, you know.
So I want to make sure thatwhen I leave this earth and I
take my last breath, I'm goingto be somebody that he's going
to be proud of in all mychildren yeah, especially him,
because my other kids I've beenaround long enough for them.

(18:21):
He's still a kid, he's still ababy.
You know he's seven kid.
He's still a baby.
You know he's seven.
Yeah, he don't think he's ababy, but he's still a baby, um,
you know so.
So that's what matters to methat when I'm long gone,
somebody could say to him belike hey, I knew your pops.
Yo, your pops was a good dude,you know, your pops was, was,

(18:41):
you know, and not just and Idon't want it to be them just
saying that I was there.
I want him to be like you knowwhat?
I know that, I know that aboutmy pops.
I know because every time Ireached out to my pops he was
there for me.
You know, type of thing that'sthat's what matters to me,
period.

Speaker 2 (18:55):
Yeah, no, absolutely.
I tell uh, my older still allthe time I'm like, listen man,
it is the important things toaccomplish in life, but being a
good person cannot beovershadowed.
And I remember I forget whathappened.
We were going to Walmart, Idon't know if I told you this.

(19:19):
So we were going to Walmart andI remember I was don't judge,
okay, all right.
So I was in like a CaptainAmerica t-shirt, okay, okay.

Speaker 3 (19:31):
Wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 2 (19:33):
Captain America, captain America, no, no, it was
just like the shield, but it wasa new shield.
It was like the Falcon shield.
Okay yeah, I don't know if youknow, but like there's a small
difference in the shields Idon't know if you know, but
there's a small difference inthe shields.
And I made sure.
I was like okay, this is theFalcon shield, I'll show it to
you.
And so, like the Sam Wilsonshield, and so we go and we're

(19:54):
getting off on the exit andthere's a huge accident.
Someone got rear-ended intoanother car and that car got
pushed into the traffic.
And so they're pulling out thiswoman out of the car.
She was black and everybodykept asking me if she was my
girlfriend or my wife.
I was like no, stop, stop.
I know, I know we in a placewhere there's not a lot of black

(20:15):
people, just because you seetwo don't mean we together, like
whatever.
And so immediately I just likeI'm, you know, I'm in the
medical field.
So I pull over and I go and I'mlike listen, I need you to stay
by this car, because the onecar I got pushed out in the
traffic, that person is still inthat car.

(20:35):
So if traffic comes, you know,another accident.
I just need you to stay by thiscar.
I need to get that woman out ofthe car.
So I go, I run out on the street.
There's another guy directingtraffic and there's this older
woman and she's you can tellshe's in shock.
And so I'm like we need to getyou out of this car.
You're fine, but I need to getyou away because you're still in

(20:58):
neutral, like you're not here,and so she, I take her and I set
her by my kid.
I'm like you just stay righthere.
And she's like, and my kid'slike, what do I do?
I'm like I just want you totell her about your basketball
game, just get her mind off ofthis.
He's like, okay, and so youknow my kid will talk your ear

(21:20):
off.
So then I go, I check on theother woman who's pregnant, and
they're fine, police are comingand everything like that.
And I go, um, like, okay, cool,they're stable, this woman's
stable.
I didn't see the accident, theydid, please pull up.
I'm like everybody's here,we're good, I'm going to take my
kid out of here.

(21:41):
And so, to take my kid out ofhere, and so she, we go, and
then we finish going walmart andshe goes, I am, I am so like
scared and I was like so worriedfor that lady and I was worried
for you, daddy, and I was likeit's okay, daddy was fine, I
ain't, I'm not going, I'm gonnabe all right.
Um, daddy decided to help herand she's like, well, well, you

(22:02):
did everything.
I'm like, well, you know, youtalked to her and you calmed her
down, so you kind of helpedsave that lady's life.
She's like, well, you dideverything.
I'm like, well, you know, youtalked to her and you calmed her
down, so you kind of helpedsave that lady's life.
She's like I did, daddy, Isaved a woman.
And so I'm like go ahead, girl.
And so we get out the car andwe walk down, walk to the store,
and as we're walking, these twolittle, these three kids, like
teenagers, like 20 years old,they go hey, you're Captain

(22:26):
America.
I'm like, no, at first I took itas an insult.
I was like, oh, they just thinkI look like this motherfucker.
You know what I mean?
I don't look like wait, hold on, hold on.
You wish you looked like him.
I wish, nah, I don't wish Ilooked like him.
I don't.
Maybe, maybe I don't, maybe,maybe, I don't know you look
like him.
Anyway, anyway, I was like, no,I don't look like him.

(22:47):
They was like, no, we saw youin the street.
Is that lady going to be okay.
And I was like, yeah, she'sgoing to be fine.
Medics there, you know what Imean.
They're fine, she seems stable.
They're going to take her tothe hospital, make the baby's
okay, the older woman's okay too.
But you know, we'll see.
And they're like, oh man, Icouldn't stop, I was scared.

(23:07):
And then so we walk in and shegoes daddy, you're a hero.
And I'm like I didn't pullanything, I didn't do anything,
I just got laid to the side ofthe road.
But it was nice to kind of getthat.
You know what I mean.

(23:28):
That feeling was like when yourkid tells you like man, you're a
hero, absolutely.
You know, I mean, andespecially for every little girl
, their dad is their first hero,right, right.
And so it's just I try tostretch to it that it's
important, it's important to bea good person more than anything
.

Speaker 3 (23:37):
But you can be smart all that and so, at the end of
the day, that's what you leavewith it.
Don't matter how much money youhave it don't matter how much
status you have, how much swagyou have.
At the end of the day, that'swhat you leave with it, don't
matter how much money you have.
It don't matter how much statusyou have, how much swag you
have.
At the end of the day is whattype of person were you?
Because that's what people aregoing to remember.
Daily news.
Had all that cash and, and hedid.
They're not going to rememberthat.

(23:57):
Yeah, they're going to remember.
Hey, do you remember daily news?
I heard a story about himhelping somebody that was in a
car accident.
Or I heard a story about how hehelped so and so when they were
down on their luck and and hewas there for that person.
That's the thing that peopleultimately remember.
They're not going to rememberthe time that you let them

(24:18):
borrow x amount of money.
No, they're going to rememberthat time when they needed to be
talked off of that rooftop,when they felt like life was not
worth living or something wasjust going on to, where they
just could not handle it, andyou helped them get past.
That that's the thing that Iremember.

(24:39):
Everybody that's ever doneanything like that for me.
I don't remember if peopleloaned me money first off
because I've already paid itback.
Right, I don't like all of themlike that anyway, yeah.
But you know, I don't rememberstuff like that.
I remember when, if I was downand out, if you checked in on me
, if, if, if you hadn't heardfrom me in a couple of days and

(25:03):
we normally conversate like thatyou were just like hey, bro,
I'm just checking up on you tomake sure you good, I'm checking
on your mental, I want to makesure you good.
That's what I remember.
I don't remember the farewellfriends that when I'm doing well
, everybody want to know who Iam and everybody want to be
around me.
I remember when I wasn't doingwell at all and I was struggling

(25:25):
and living paycheck to paycheck.
I remember the motherfuckersthat were still there.
You know what I'm saying andthat's the same thing.
That's how I raised my childrenis remember the people that are
truly down for you when you'reat your lowest point.
Are they still around?
Are they checking in on you ordid they disappear?
And the next time you talk tothem is the next time you

(25:47):
reached out to them.
Yeah, that's what people cansay, anything they want to say.
I don't believe words.
I don't care what anybody say,word wise.
I look at what your actions are.
I look at what your bodylanguage tells me, because you
can tell me anything you want totell me.
Right, but I'm studying how yousaying it.

(26:12):
I'm studying I'm.
I'm like okay, when I was inthis situation previously, was
you down or did you disappear?
And now all of a sudden, wetalking again because I'm back
up.
Yeah, you know I'm saying so.
We kind of got off topic withthat, but yeah, you know, that's
just.
You know something that I teachmy children Like pay attention.
Pay attention to everybodyaround you, whether you know
they, whether you think theycool or not.
Pay attention when things gethairy, when you're in a

(26:34):
situation.
Who's down for you and who allof a sudden, oh I ain't got it.
Or I ain't I got other things?
I'm not around All of a sudden.
Oh, I didn't know.
You called me, or?
Oh, my bad, I'm just seeingthat you texted me and it's
three days later.
Just pay attention to thosethings, because people can say

(26:54):
what they want to say, but theiractions will always tell you
what they actually mean.
My middle child.

Speaker 2 (27:00):
We've moved and so she's trying to make friends.
And she's like I'm going gonnago to their wrestling meet or
whatever.
And I'm like, oh cool, that'sawesome.
She's like, yeah, I'm gonna dothis and I'm gonna go, I'm gonna
support my friends and you know, everyone's her friend at this
point, you know.
And I'm like, well, are theyyour friends?
And she's like, I don't knowwhat you mean.
I'm like, well, are they comingto your basketball?
games are they coming to yourthings.

(27:21):
This is where your track meanshe's like well, no, I'm like
don't, don't cross an ocean forpeople that won't jump over a
puddle for you like it's, it'slittle things like that that you
just.
I mean, she's young, so she hasto learn, and these are the
growing years and figuring outwho you are and how you want to
make your friends and how youwant to interact.

(27:42):
And my oldest one, she's takingit to heart and she was like no
, I know exactly, I have friendsthat I talk to every day.
I have friends that I go to foradvice.
I have friends that tell mewhen I'm fucking up and I need
to get in.
You just have to figure outwhich is which.
You got friends.
You have acquaintances I'm notsaying acquaintances are bad.

Speaker 3 (28:03):
Just know where bad, yeah, just know where they at,
just know what lane they in.
And keep them in, yep, unlessthey want a promotion and they
show you that they are worthy ofthat promotion.
But keep them, and there'snothing wrong with that.
You know there's different.
There's different sets.
You're gonna find differentpeople within your life.
There's levels to this.
All right alright, man.

Speaker 2 (28:23):
Well, that was a great first fucking segment.
A little rusty, but we'regetting to it we're getting to
it so we're gonna take a quickbreak and we'll on to a second

(28:53):
topic of the day.
We just want to piggyback offof our first segment here and
and go into, you know, just thereality of where we're at in our
lives.
You know, I mean our daughters,our, our sons, our children are
watching us and learning fromus and relying on us to guide
them through this world.
And, in light of the wholeDennis Rodman and Trinity Rodman

(29:15):
situation, let's just have aconversation about confidence
and the values that we instillin our kids and things like that
.
And just how do we navigate,specifically being present,
despite the life obstacles?
Like, obviously, we got work,we got.
You know births, deaths, youknow financial situations.

(29:38):
I ain't having no more births.
Well, not ours.
I got nieces and nephews.
I ain't having no more.
So you cut that part out of it.
Man, I'm done too, so but uh,yeah, I think, once your, your
daughter, hits puberty, you donelike, once your oldest daughter
, not maybe not the sons, butthe girls, man, once they hit

(29:59):
puberty, I'm done.
So.
Uh, let's go ahead and uh, justexpand on it, though, man, what
?
How do you?
How would you navigate thoseobstacles as far as being
present versus you know what Imean it's just being.

Speaker 3 (30:15):
it starts with being present, if you're.
If you're present, theneverything else I don't want to
say everything falls into placeand make it seem like it's
simple and easy, because it'snot.
No, parenting is not easy.
Every child is different.
When you have multiple kids,you learn that You're like oh
okay, this might have worked forthe first kid, this ain't going
to work for this one.
This one's a little crazy.
So I need to change my setup.

(30:38):
I need to change how I come atyou, because I'll tell you,
right now I have a child where Igot to come out like we about
to go to war and be like look,you don't change this shit.
Right now we're going to have aproblem.
Yeah, you know, and over myinner Kevin Hart about to put
the paws on him, I'm about toput the paws on him.

(30:58):
Let me tell you something,calvin, you got one more time to
do something crazy boy.
Before you get the paws, yougot one more time to do some
crazy boy for you get to pause.
But then I have another childwhere you know it's more of a.
Okay, you know you done fuckedup.
Right, you learn from that.
What did you learn?
What happened this daddy andthis?
Okay, we're going to do thatagain.

(31:18):
Nope, you ain't got to work,and I know when I have that
conversation with her, that's it.
Yeah, she's going to moveforward.
She learns sometimes BecauseI'm that type you can't tell me
things.
I have to learn it on my ownRight.
And if that means that I fall,that means I motherfucking fall
Right, right, then I learn howto pick myself up.

(31:40):
I have a child right now that'skind of learning that a little
bit had to fall a little bit yep, and now they're working on
picking themselves back up.
I'm still right there, I'mmonitoring.
He even told me the other dayhe's like I know you're worried,
dad, but I got this.
But I also know that if Iabsolutely need you, you right
there, yeah, like 100, I'm gonnalet you now.

(32:03):
That don't mean I'm not gonnalet you fall a little bit,
because I do think you need tolearn those lessons sometimes
because it's either a lesson ora blessing, and sometimes a
lesson can turn into a blessingbased off of the situation.
But I know at the end of theday he's going to be fine, right
, you know.
But it meant a lot to me toknow that he knows that.

(32:24):
That's like my youngest.
For instance, last year histeacher reached out to me
because he was being named likestudent of the month or
something OK.
But I couldn't make it becauseshe told me too late and I
remember saying to her hey, justlet him know that his dad loves
him.
Sorry that I couldn't make it,and let him know that love loves
him.
She texted me back and she waslike when I told him that, he

(32:48):
said I know, but that was likethe best thing ever, because he
already knew, you know.
So I, and that was my worry,because I didn't want well, I
don't want any of my children tothink that I don't love them,
because as a parent, if youcan't make things, sometimes you
feel that way.
You're like damn it.

(33:10):
I hope they don't think thatthey don't matter enough, but
sometimes adult life doesn'tallow you to do everything that
you want to do, and so that mademe feel so good.
But his immediate response wasI already know, I know my dad
loves me.
I was like okay, and is dadloves me?
I was like okay, and he's proudof me, right.
Right, you know?
So that that meant the world,because that meant that I'm

(33:30):
doing something, right?
Yeah, because he understandsthat and he knows that.
So if there are things that Ican't make it to, he knows, it's
not for lack of trying.
He knows because I don't lovehim and stuff like that, because
I don't want any of my childrenwalking around thinking that
their dad does not love themright right.

Speaker 2 (33:48):
So, like I had a conversation with my dad just
the other day, I was like hey,because we were talking about my
oldest playing basketball.
My dad's a big basketball guyand everything.
He's kind of talking to me.
I'm like how did you do thiswhen we were kids?
And he's like you just got tolove coaching and being that
person.
I'm like no, no, no, havingkids there's six of us how did

(34:12):
you do this?
He's like I don't know, I gaveup in the last two Selfless man.
Being a parent is selfless.
It's so funny because like,like, so we have a blended
family and me and my girlfriendand so my oldest being biracial
and being in the area that welive in, she's had multiple

(34:35):
documented issues with race inher schools and I understand it.
I understand what it's likebeing black and being in America
, and so I've dealt with thosethings on a very aggressive
level.
As far as being an involvedparent anytime or anything that

(34:56):
happens right Now, our middleone is different.
Her dad's not around and,unlike our oldest, and the
youngest, is different.
Her dad's not around and,unlike my oldest and the
youngest, the oldest willprotect if she needs to, but
she's very much so like zero toa hundred and just like

(35:19):
emotional, like outbursts right,like it's like a.
I can't believe I did this.
I'm so like I can't.
You know what I mean.
Um, the youngest one is kind ofthe same way.
He's very sensitive and he'svery passionate about like
people and not wanting to hurtother people.
The middle child don't give adamn, she will.
She will hit you and make apeanut butter and jelly sandwich

(35:40):
.
That same five, five minuteslater.
It's like she don't care aboutnothing.
So she goes and she comes homeand she's telling us about this
person.
I was picking on her andeverything like that.
And she goes in.
So she was picking on me andeverything like that, and I told
her you're in my bubble and Iwill push you out and I will

(36:01):
shove you or anything like that.
And she was like no, you won't.
She was like yes, I will, andif you touch me, like yada, yada
, yada.
And so I'm like so we have thisconversation like that.

Speaker 3 (36:10):
First off, I don't mean to interrupt you, but first
off let me find out who thatkid is.
Right, right?

Speaker 2 (36:18):
Okay, okay, I will punch that kid, right, right,
right, I'm done right now and so, and so I'm just like I
understand, defending yourself.
You got to do what you got todo, but you're a little bit
aggressive with it, right?
So let's remind us that we actin self-defense.
Nope, right, you're like no, no, no right.

Speaker 3 (36:38):
When it comes to mine , we.
So I'm telling you right nowyou mess with it when the camera
at.
I'm going to look right here.
I'm going to look right here.
I'm going to tell you right nowAny of you little chrome
smashers mess with any of mychildren or any of my nieces or
nephews you're going to have tocome see me.
I'm going to throat punch youand then have your parents come

(37:00):
and I'm going to throat punchthem too.
That's my PSA for the day.
I can't breathe, Continue Notplay with me.

Speaker 2 (37:12):
I'm trying, I'm trying to get my thoughts
together, but so she goes.
I'm like listen, you can defendyourself.
It doesn't have to be physicalor like even in your mental, but
you defend yourself.
I don't care how you do it.
And then, once you do it, ifyou have to put hands on someone
whatever case me, and you feltlike that was needed, we'll have
a conversation.

(37:33):
Yeah, and it was then that sherealized one that I've never
told my daughter that if sheever got into a fight she'd get
punished.
I've always said you don'tstart it, it's a, it's a
conversation, because I know mykids would never start a fight,
except for her.
She might, she might be the one.
So I could see that.
Yep, and so she goes and rightbefore she leaves the room and I

(37:56):
stop, I'm like hey, listen, Iwant you to understand something
.
And she was like yeah, and shewas like yeah, I was like I
understand.
You never had this in your life.
If anything happens when schooland someone is picking on you,
you understand that to go to theteacher and let them know.
And then you let us know, andshe's like yeah, and she's like
and if it doesn't get resolvedyou still let me know.

(38:18):
I will go into the school andthen we have to have a
conversation about why it wasn'tresolved and my daughter had to
put it in her own hands and shepaused and she was like you,
you would go into the school.
That's all I get.
I've met.
Our oldest is principal inevery single school she's been
in because of issues that havetranspired, issues that have

(38:42):
transpired.
I have no problem going intoyour school and saying we need
to have a conversation about whymy kid had an issue, went to
you about it and it was notrectified and so, like she, you
could see she was like are youserious.
I was like yeah, no, no, it ismy job to protect you, right?
And if you have to protectyourself at this age, that means

(39:04):
I'm not doing my job.
And if you have to protectyourself at this age, that means
I'm not doing my job.
And so now I have to go and sayyo, I give you responsible, or
the school is responsible atthis moment in time, to care and
protect my kid.
When I'm not there, why aren'tyou doing your job?
Why does she come to you?
Because now I have to protecther and hold you accountable.
Now I have to protect her andhold you accountable.

(39:24):
And it was nice to see that atthat moment in time she had just
like, oh, I did not realizethat.
Yeah, no, absolutely.
And you could see her kind oflike have a little pep in her
stuff.
I was like, okay, yeah, I gotbackup.
I'm like hold on now, hold on,now, let's pump the brakes in

(39:46):
and so.
But it was good, man, it wasgood to see a smile on her face
and be able to realize that shehad, that she didn't have to
deal with that alone.
You know what I mean and like wewere talking about man, it just
it's just about engaging andbeing there and having
conversations with your kids andstuff like that and talking to

(40:09):
them.
There's like, like my oldest,she'll be like you remember
so-and-so?
Nope, I do not rememberso-and-so, but she's told me so
many names that I'm like, okay,finish the story and I'm gonna
pinpoint it, um, and cryingabout the other ones because
they're young, so they're notgonna always be like especially
young, so they're not gonnaalways be like, especially with
me.
They're not gonna always belike, hey, you remember
so-and-so, because they don'tI'm new, so they're not.

(40:31):
They're gonna talk, mom, aboutthem.
That would be like, hey, howwas ryan, how was jake, how was
uh britney, how was so-and-so?

Speaker 3 (40:39):
in your class.
I have some the shawns and thequans up in there.
I Brittany and Jayden.

Speaker 2 (40:44):
What the fuck is that ?
Okay, I'm using generic names.
They ain't no goddamn genericnames.
Yes, they are, because if Imention any, those are white
names, I know.
But where we live at, if Imention a black name, that's
going to be specific to thatperson.
Like I know my youngest it'ssome goddamn Daquans or

(41:04):
something around here.
It's gotta be.
Yes, yes, yes.
He doesn't know what Jaquan is.
See, that's my point.
I hate the fact that you likepulled some random name out of
your head.
It was like yep, that's it.
Times are a-changing.
Our oldest she cracks me upbecause she's like yeah, you

(41:26):
know me and your oldest daughterand a couple others.
She's like yeah, you know, Igot a special relationship with
her.
I got a special relationshipwith her.
I got a special relationshipwith her because we're colored
girls and we understand things.
Did she just call your childrencolored?
No, that's what she says.
She's like we're the coloredpeople in the school Because
there's another girl in thegroup.

(41:46):
That's Mexican Rodriguez.
That's the coach Martinez.
I don't know her name.
You're going to have to have aconversation with her about that
.
I know Her vernacular needs tobe adjusted.
Oh Lord, it's cool to havethose conversations and she'd be
like but this one girl act likewe don't have the same hair, we

(42:11):
don't Girl.
It was so funny because she waslike the way she I'll to our
white listeners.
You may not understand this.
In the black community, when youwalk and you're doing something
whatever it is about your dayand you see another black person
, we typically nod to each other, even if we don't know you, and

(42:37):
we have a compliment that gets,that's it.
It's just like hey, I see you,continue.
You know you look good,continue, you know, I see you.
You know what I mean.
But if you don't nod back,that's fighting words.

(43:03):
Yeah, in my mind I almost gotinto it with somebody at work
because he listened to me.
I nodded to him and he glaredat me.
He just looked at me with ablank stare and I almost was
like whoa.
I almost said out loud I waslike well, fuck you too.
But then, like you know, I hadjust started at the job and so,

(43:25):
nah, he's special needs.
And so I didn't know that.
I didn't know that.
Nope, I didn't know that You'renot canceling me.
We just came back from there.

Speaker 3 (43:35):
I didn't know that, nope.
And so after that Nope, I amnot listening to the rest of
your story.

Speaker 2 (43:41):
We were cool.
We were cool, but like no, iflike, wait you cool with the
special needs kid now, yes, I'mcool with the special needs kid,
we best not talk about nodding.
He's super nice.
Do you know why he nodded, doyou?

Speaker 3 (43:54):
even know why.

Speaker 2 (43:54):
Yeah, we had a conversation, we talked, we
talked.
He's always like hey, tell me,you got a special needs kid at
your place.
I got a couple of them.
I got one that talked tohimself in the elevators oh,
you're going to have to explorethis later.

Speaker 3 (44:08):
Oh yeah, I'll say hi, we're on camera and I don't
want to say you know what?
I love everybody that she needsor not.
I love you all.

Speaker 2 (44:18):
there you go, but yeah, so we're going to talk
about it off camera because Igot a lot of questions.

Speaker 3 (44:28):
I got a lot of questions.

Speaker 2 (44:30):
So we had these conversations and she was like
yo, dad, I did not like, I didnot like that, I did not like
that Like girl, your hair isjust as nappy as mine.
Don't be like, if I say hi toyou, like, because she don't
know the nods.
She don't understand the nodsso much.
It's high school, so she'd belike if I say hi to you, I

(44:51):
wasn't taught Right, right,right, that's not what it was
like.
If I say hi to you, right,right, but if you like, but like
.
She was like.
But then like, later on she waslike well, I guess she, like
out of nowhere, just came up tome, was like oh my gosh, I love
your hair, and it was because wehad the same hairstyle, dad,
and so it was just like out ofnowhere.
And it was like oh, okay,that's cool.
She was like yeah, but I wasn'ttalking to her like that, I was
just like oh, uh, my stepmomdid it.

(45:13):
Why?
And so you know so, because nowshe upset, now she got the
attitude like nah, you didn'tnod to me, you didn't recognize
me on day three, don't try toact like we.
Cool now because you want, youknow.
So it's just yeah, it'sinteresting, just kind of
dealing with those aspects,about just especially the middle

(45:35):
one, just being able tounderstand like you got, I got
your back, and that, in my mind,is just the idea of being
present and like there's lots ofobstacles we're gonna face and
there's some, you know.
I mean that's gonna make mejust like be like, hey, listen,
I'm taking the blunt of this toprotect you and there's

(45:56):
something that's like I gottalet you take the blunt of this
so that we understand the world.
Yeah and um, I don't like thoseones.
But yeah, man, it's just, it'sa, it's a roller coaster, but
it's a, it's one.
I'm excited and glad to be onyou.
You know what I mean.
I see it as a privilege, right?

Speaker 3 (46:15):
Yeah, it's tough Because, especially being where
we're at, there's times whereI'm like man, am I?
Yes, I'm present for my child.
But again, obviously our kidsare mixed and it's like it's a

(46:36):
fine line Because where we livein is a predominantly white area
.
Yeah, so obviously they'regetting that side of it, and
especially in my kids, us twoand our extended families are
the only minorities that theyknow.
Yeah, you know.

(46:56):
So that puts a lot of pressure,but that like, sometimes I go
I'm like okay, Um, how I give itto her in, in in portions of
the plight of the world and andmy and my child I don't want to

(47:21):
say she can mix in, but she's alittle lighter.
So if you don't necessarily know, you might not know if she's
mixing until you see her dad,obviously, and then there ain't
no hiding it.
So I think in some ways shehasn't quite had the same plight

(47:42):
as your child, because youcould tell that your child is
mixed.
My child is a little bitlighter.
So, unless you know, sometimesI think she, she I don't want to
say because she's not trying toget away with anything, but
she's a little bit on thelighter scale, I should say so

(48:02):
she hasn't quite had the sameissues as your kid, but at the
same token I try to have thoseconversations with her about,
like if we just had aconversation earlier today, yeah
yeah, yeah, her about, like, ifwe just had a conversation
earlier today actually about, um, you know, angela davis, and
and look that up and see,because, um, you know, you get

(48:23):
enough of what I'm like her forlack of a better term I'm her
black history.
Yeah, right, so it like falls onme to be like read up on angela
davis, read up, read up oncivil rights leaders and stuff
like that, because in the schoolsystem, yeah, they learn a
little bit about it, but not asmuch as I would like.

(48:44):
So I have to be that extraconversation with her, I have to
be that extra conversation withmy sons, stuff like that to
certain things that you need tobe aware of.
Because, at the end of the day,the world sees you as black.
Right, I know you see yourselfas a person, but the world sees

(49:06):
you as black and that's a wholenother set of things.
I know there's some people thatmight unless you have, unless
you are black and have lived inmy shoes or a black person's
shoes, you never can 100% youcan sympathize with it, you can
empathize with it, but you cannever truly 100% understand it,

(49:26):
and I'm not the type of personthat walks around like oh, the
world is looking down on me, soon and so forth.
I still try to rise above allthat and go forward and push
through.
That's the same thing that Itry to teach my children.
Don't use that as a crush.
Don't use that as an excuse.
If you feel like you need to betwo or three times better, be

(49:46):
two or three times better.
Make it to where, no matterwhat it is that you're shooting
for, that there's no reason thatyou can't get what it is that
you're shooting for, thatthere's no reason that you can't
get what it is that you'retrying to achieve.
Does that mean you might haveto work a little bit harder?
Maybe, maybe you do, maybe youdon't, but regardless, I want my
children to be overachieversanyway, right?
So I don't teach them to belike oh, you have to work harder

(50:12):
because of your skin color.
I teach them you have to workharder just because, because you
have to work harder because ofyour skin color, I teach them
you have to work harder justbecause, because you want to be
better, because you want toleave, no doubt when it is that
you're trying to go do something, when you're trying to do
something.
So it's tough.
Like I said, I have thoseconversations Even with my
seven-year-old.
I have those conversations.
Obviously we started a littlebit late because he's only seven
, so there's only been so muchhe can grasp.

(50:34):
But I've already started tohave those conversations with
him and stuff like that with my14 year old.
Same thing now she's.
You know, they go to the sameschool, I go to the same school.
They've grown up together andthat's what's made it easier,
honestly, is the fact thatthey've grown up together.
They're only a couple of monthsapart and you know they've been

(50:55):
sisters.
They don't.
You know they're not, you knowa friend or a cousin, they're
sisters.
As far as they're concerned, youknow so and it's like it's
funny because you know they havetheir other friends and stuff
like that.
But when it's them two togetherit's like boom, totally
different the other friends arejust like oh yeah, okay, I guess

(51:16):
we're just kind of here.
Yeah, I thought we was cool, Ithought we was cool.

Speaker 2 (51:20):
I thought we was cool , we was talking and texting,
and this person comes.
I don't even know who this is,I've met her like twice and then
you just act like we don'texist.
Yeah, yeah, that's so funny, itwas.
It's different, but the same,absolutely, absolutely so funny.
And I, when she was younger, Iremember talking to her mother

(51:41):
and we were talking about likeshe was like well, we're going
to raise her as a person, likedo you raise her as black?
Do you raise her as mixed?
No, she is who she is, yeah,exactly.
And she was asking she she is,yeah, exactly.
She asked me she's like Daddy,you're brown and mommy's light
and pink, and what am I?
I'm like you're your name andthat's who you are and you

(52:03):
understand that first, yep,before you understand who the
person you are, in this area, inthis world, in this lifetime,
in America they will define youas black, like that's the
reality of it.
No one's going to look at youand be like oh you, white, yo,

(52:23):
you made it.
No, you are a black woman inamerica's eyes, in a black
community maybe, but right nowin america, they're going to
look at you as black and in thatlight you have to be proud of
them, and so that was thebiggest caveat of just doing a
little bit of history lessons.
Not necessarily.
Oh, you got to study, yeah.

(52:45):
No, I'm not like you got to beblack, black, black, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I'm not saying that I'mblack y'all and I'm black y'all
and I'm blacker than black andI'm blacker than black, and I'm
black y'all and I'm black y'alland I'm black y'all and I'm
blacker than black and I'm blacky'all, I'm black, blacker than
black black.

Speaker 3 (53:00):
I'm blacker than black, yo, because I'm black and
I'm black Because you knowyou're mixed.
You're half, you're half.
There's cultures on both sides.
I want you to know both sides.
I want you to be your ownperson.
Yeah, listen to your own music,you know.
Do whatever it is that you wantto do you know.

Speaker 2 (53:17):
So my kid, being being who she is, went through a
taylor swift phase and makingthe styling phase.
And now she's listening to herand lma, yeah, yeah, you
remember.
I remember I was like I toldabout it.
I remember we were driving andshe was just I don't know what

(53:40):
came on and I was like playingthe radio.
And I was listening to theradio and she said I heard
mother sending me hoes.
So I said, okay, so makeanother hoes.
And I'm like where did youlearn that?
And she's like like dad, I lovethat part.
Like make another hove.
Like dad, they can't makeanother hove.

(54:02):
I'm like do you know who hoveis?
no, but they can't like dad,they can't make another me, so
they can't make another hove anduh, just like, uh, just stuff
like that.
So she's, she definitely wasjust like.
It's so crazy to see them growup.

Speaker 3 (54:19):
Now they're young ladies.

Speaker 2 (54:20):
Gosh.
It's like, yeah, I know, I know, I told her.
I told who was it?
Someone had my aunt.
We went to a wedding.
My aunt had ran into me.
She was like oh my gosh, shewas just a baby.
What happened?
And I to me, she's like oh mygosh, she was just a baby, what
happened?
And I'm like I don't know, Idon't know how this work.
Stop fucking growing up, likethat's the best way I can

(54:42):
explain it.
I'm tired of this.
I just wish you were threemonths old and you looked at me
pooped and smiled.
That was it.
So, gosh, yeah.
And now they're goinghomecoming dancing Boys.
Nope, we ain't fitting to bewhere to be where.
Nope, I had to threaten a kid.

(55:06):
Yep, ok, I ain't threatening akid, I ain't threatening a kid.
I scared the shit out of him.
I scared the shit out of him.
I scared the shit out of them.
Nah, no, I told you about this,right, I just went to the gym.
I had to work that day.
I'm in like a muscle t-shirt.
I ain't got a lot of muscles.
Chill out internet.

(55:26):
I ain't got a lot of them.
I got a little bit Walked inthere and it was school.
It was like the thing that theydo before school, where you got
to meet all your classes orwhatever.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.
And I think I told you thisstory where we go into this one
classroom and there's one boyand he in the corner and he is
pacing oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, hegot the Justin Bieber haircut,

(55:50):
he just scrawny or whatever, andhe just pacing back and forth
in the corner.
Ain't nobody acknowledging thismotherfucker.
So in my mind, so in my mindthat he ain't right.
Something's going on with thiskid, that mentally he not doing
good.
I've never met him, so I don'tknow whose kid this is, but

(56:13):
that's what I'm pissed off about.
Where his parents at, there'sno parents in the Anyway, anyway
.
So we go into class and we go,they're a little different,
right, right, right, yeah, we'reraised a little different.
And so we go into the class andhe starts walking to me.
So now I'm like I got to punchthe little kid in his face.

(56:34):
I don't know what's fuckingwrong with him, but I got to
punch him in his face.
And no, no, but all seriousness, my kid, my oldest, was
standing next to me as he walkedto me.
She walked to the back of thegroup.
I'm like, okay, what's going onhere?
And he goes are you his father?
I'm like I am.

(56:55):
And he goes hello, sir, my nameis so-and-so.
And I go well, it's nice tomeet you.
And he goes, okay, and runs outthe damn room.

(57:17):
I was just like, I just looked,he was gone.
He ain't say nothing to nobody,he just ran.
I don't know what the fuck theshiver was, but I was like, okay
, he came up to me, he shook myhand, he said, sir, my name is
so-and-so, and he introducedhimself to me.
I was like, okay, and mydaughter goes.

(57:39):
He's just a friend, dad, he'sjust a friend.
I'm like, okay, she's like whatdo you think of him?
I'm like I don't like him.
I don't like him Exactly.
I ain't going to like him.
I ain't going to like him.
Like them.
I ain't gonna like them Untilsomeone is old enough, mature
enough and responsible enough toprovide more than I can.
I ain't gonna like them.

(57:59):
And even then I ain't gonnalike them.
And Uncle ain't never gonnalike them.
Nope, let's throw that outthere, right there.
No, hell, no.
Remember.
One dude came to the party, theboy.
She invited one boy to theparty.
That's right, right.
And me, you, two other uncleswere all on him.

(58:21):
This boy was so scared dog,this boy was so scared.
It took him three hours at theparty to ask for a hot dog Three
hours.
The motherfucker was justsitting there like I haven't
eaten yet.

Speaker 3 (58:36):
I'm like we haven't served cake and anything Come on
, get something to eat.

Speaker 2 (58:42):
Hey, listen, listen, I was there.
I had a sleeveless shirt on.
The other uncle was there withthat huge beard and shaved head.
You was there.
The other uncle had God firsttatted on his knuckles.
It was not a good clue.
It was not a good clue at all.
She don't want you to talk tohim.
No more, of course you don't.

(59:04):
He's scared the life out of him.
He don't come back, no more.
Oh well, my problem Right,we're going to take a short
break and we'll be right back.

Speaker 3 (59:33):
And we're back to the Real Dream Podcast.
Hey, s-s-h-o-l-e, I'm anasshole, world's biggest asshole
.

Speaker 2 (59:39):
Okay, I gotta get that.
I gotta get that one through,yep, so alright.
So we're back to our thirdsegment of the day.
Man, typically we do RatchetNews.
We're gonna switch it up alittle bit today and we're gonna
read some Reddits, theA-I-T-A-H Reddits.
So here we go and get Duke'sresponse on this.

(01:00:01):
Okay, here we go.
Am I the asshole for telling mysister that it's her uterus
Keeping her from her dreams, andnot me?
I, 26 female, have known foryears that I don't want children
ever.
It's not up for debate.
I've been very clear about thiswith my family, my older sister

(01:00:23):
we're going to call herSamantha.
She's 32 female.
It's the opposite.
She dreamed of being a motherher entire life, but she's been
struggling with inferidelity foryears.
It's been heartbreaking to seeher go through this, and I've
always tried to be supportive inother ways.
Recently, samantha and herhusband started exploring

(01:00:45):
surrogacy.
They've saved up enough a lotof money, but the cost is still
high.
So samantha asked me if I'dconsider being her surrogate.
I was blindsided.
I told her that I love her andsupport her, but I'm not
comfortable with pregnancy,whether for myself or for
someone else.
I reminded her that I've beenvery clear about my decision not

(01:01:07):
to have children, and thatincludes not being pregnant at
all.
She didn't take it well.
She accused me of being selfishand said I was prioritizing my
own convenience over her chanceto be a mother.
I got worse over the next fewweeks, with her dropping
passive-aggressive comments andeven implying that I was wasting

(01:01:29):
my uterus, since I don't wantkids.
The breaking point came at afamily dinner.
Samantha brought up my refusalin front of everyone and said
it's so sad when your own sisterstands in the way of your
dreams.
I was so frustrated that Isnapped and said it's not me
keeping you from your dreams,it's your uterus, and I'm not

(01:01:49):
sacrificing my body to fix thatfor you.
Okay Damn.
The room went dead silent.
Samantha burst into tears andlaughed, and now my family is
divided.
Some think I was too harsh andshould apologize, while others
think Samantha crossed the lineby trying to guilt trip me.

(01:02:10):
I feel terrible for hurting her, but at the same time, I don't
think it's fair to expect me togo against my values and life
choices to fix her situation.
So, reddit, am I the asshole?
I don't think so.

Speaker 3 (01:02:24):
You don't think she's the asshole?
I don't think she's the asshole.
Okay, I don't think she's theasshole at all.
I mean, she stated that shesaid plenty of times that
children are not in her plans.
I understand that's her sister.
I don't think she's an adult atall.
I'm sorry, I just don't.

(01:02:44):
It's not her responsibility.
There's other avenues that hersister can go through.
They can adopt, they can findanother surrogate.
I do understand the thoughtprocess of having the sister as
a surrogate.
However, her body, her choice.
I'm a man.
I'm not even going to get intothat conversation of trying to

(01:03:07):
tell a woman what they can andcan't do with their body.
So that is completely up to her.
So there is no way she can bean asshole.

Speaker 2 (01:03:16):
I'm sorry.
I feel like she was very clearon what it is that her goals
were and it seems like she'scommitted to this for a long
time.
Sister feels differently.
That's your prerogative.
You have the ability to save upmoney.
Still Keep saving up.
Even if it's not now, it canstill happen.

(01:03:37):
My sister's only 32.

Speaker 3 (01:03:38):
She's still young.
She's a young lady.

Speaker 2 (01:03:40):
So you got time.
You know what I mean.
Young woman, I should say Right,and you got time and you know
and, I'm sure, resources and youcan talk to other family
members to help pool resources,but I think she is the asshole,
the only, but I think she is theasshole.
The only difference between meand you is I think being an
asshole is warranted.
You called her out at dinner.
You called her out at dinner infront of family.

(01:04:01):
She shouldn't have keptbringing that shit up, right,
right, and so that's why I'mlike nah, you the asshole, good
for you, good job, good jobshe's an asshole, but she's a
good asshole.

Speaker 3 (01:04:13):
She's a great asshole , that's right she's only the
ass, not the hole right, right,right.

Speaker 2 (01:04:19):
So she's half, she's half you an ass, but you gotta,
you gotta be that.
Sometimes I get it.
I get it cause I feel like thatwas just like a I ain't gonna
respect your boundaries.
You know what I mean.
I don't respect like there's inthe way of your decision to
have children and infidelity andall those things.
And I'm not saying it's like aclear black and white thing.
That's your body and yourhusband's body that you got to

(01:04:40):
deal with on your own and figurethat out and go through other
avenues.
And if it's not in your cards,then you got to figure out other
ways.
Or it may not be in your cards.
That's understandable.
At the same token, that's nother prerogative.
She has a life.
She wants to use her lifehowever she deems fit and it is

(01:05:03):
not your job to make her feelguilty about it.
It's like it ain't anybodyelse's job to make you feel
guilty about wanting kids,absolutely.

Speaker 3 (01:05:10):
As somebody who I may or may not have been called an
asshole a couple of times in mylife, maybe, maybe, three times
today Maybe.
We'll sit, maybe on that.
I don't think that's an assholemove.
I think I mean her body, herchoice.
I get it that they're sistersand everything.
But again, there's otheravenues that the woman can go

(01:05:32):
about and she's only 32.
So there's a possibility thatshe still can get pregnant
herself as well.
And who's to say, let's say,the 26 year old does go with it.
It's not 100% that she wouldwant to give up the child.
She's nursed it and doneeverything.
You know she's felt the babykick and she felt that baby grow

(01:05:54):
inside of her own body.
That's a whole otherconversation.
Now you have a problem.
What if she doesn't want togive that up?

Speaker 2 (01:06:02):
Typically, surrogates are like people that either
have had kids or you know what Imean like fine and like, oh,
pregnancy is easy for me, butlike you're talking about giving
up your first pregnancy to you.
That's a lot to ask of anybody.
You know what I mean.
And she said very clearly shedoesn't want to have a kid.
That means if she has a kid,there's not going to be like, oh

(01:06:24):
, I didn't want this.
You know there might bedifferent emotions that come up
and so you, just you push it toohard and I think you I think,
since the big sis crossed,crossed the line.
I think she crossed the linewith that one.
I have to agree on that one likein front of the family see,
that's, that's my family wouldhave said something for me oh

(01:06:48):
yeah, it would have been on thatside.

Speaker 3 (01:06:50):
So I'm going to go out on just a limb, just, I
don't know.
I just got this.
I don't know, I don't know, I'mgoing to go out on a limb, just
a limb, just, just, just just,I don't know.
I just got this, I don't know,I don't know.
I'm going to say there's apossibility that the people that
we are talking about lackmelatonin.
That's all I'm going to say,that they lack some melatonin.
I think I'm just going out on alimb, yeah, just a little bit.

(01:07:17):
And the part that gave it up isthe room went dead silent.
People that have melanin, thatain't gonna happen it may be
like a split second and thensomebody's like, oh hell, no,
and then that's gonna kick itoff right now.
It's gonna be a whole notherconversation going on.
I mean, maybe I could be wrong,I could be wrong, I could be
wrong.

(01:07:37):
Listen, listen.
Something in the soles of myback tells me that there was no
melanin in this conversation.

Speaker 2 (01:07:47):
I read it and at that point, when she said I'm not
sacrificing my body to fix you,I even stopped.
I stopped reading.
I was like damn.

Speaker 3 (01:07:58):
I don't know if it would sound like anything.
Anybody with melanin would saythat's not even the way that we
would say it.
It would have been a hell.
No yeah, there would have beenno debate.
There would have been nothing.
I feel like if I said somethinglike that to my sister, there
would have been no debate.
There would have been nothing,I feel like.

Speaker 2 (01:08:15):
I feel like I feel like if I said something like
that to like my sister, orsomething like that, like I'm
just going off what my youngestsister would say, who's a very
sweet woman, and it's like, ohyeah, you know, you know, you
know, it's just sad that youjust are just wasting your body
and I can't have a kid.

(01:08:36):
The fuck is wrong with you.
I just feel like that's whatwould be the first words that
come out of her mouth, Becausenow it's not subliminal, it's
not like I'm going to try toslide this in.
No, she coming straight at me.
I'm like alright, I get it,that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (01:08:55):
Yeah, I'm going to, I get it.
Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead.
I don't want to let.
I know Black Samantha's yeah,I'm just gonna go ahead.
I don't think that that's aBlack Samantha's.
I could be wrong.
I could 100% be wrong.
However, if I was a better manand I'm not, because I'm in a

(01:09:18):
state where we can't bet, but ifI was a better man, I wouldn't
have bet you that there was nomelanin in this whole
conversation.

Speaker 2 (01:09:30):
It was definitely a milk-colored person, samantha.
Good luck to you.
Definitely a milk-coloredperson.
That's just my Samantha.
Good luck to you.
Samantha's the sister yeah, bigsister, hope you figure it out.
Hope you do end up figuring outhow to have a child and you and
your husband live happily everafter and are successful.
With that, I would leave yoursister alone, because this was

(01:09:52):
probably the nicest comment shecould have came up with.
Let her go, let her live herlife.
You, not the asshole.
I'm just saying I think youshould have been more of an
asshole, but I think you handledit very well and I think you
good, so I wouldn't even worryabout it.
Everybody's going to have theiropinion on it, but, at the same
token, if she would have cameto you in private and not in

(01:10:14):
front of everybody else, itwouldn't have been their opinion
, they wouldn't have had one.
It's cool, it's good, good,yeah, damn.
Alright, man, anything you needto say.

Speaker 3 (01:10:31):
Nah, man, go ahead and close, wrap us up.

Speaker 2 (01:10:34):
Alright.
Well, that was our episode, man, we thank you for joining us,
as always from the real.

Speaker 3 (01:10:39):
I do got something.
Yeah, drink water and don't bean asshole.
Drink water.
That's a new one, that's rightgotta be hydrated, gotta stay
hydrated.

Speaker 2 (01:10:47):
Thank you for joining us, and you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (01:10:50):
Till next time, keep dreaming yes, sir, I mean until

(01:11:13):
next time.
Keep dreaming, yes, sir you.