Building Bridges Through Inquiry: A Real Estate Perspective

The central theme of this discourse is the imperative nature of inquiry over assumption in our professional interactions. I emphasize the significance of asking questions, rather than presuming to know the thoughts and feelings of clients, colleagues, or escrow officers. Such assumptions often lead us astray, as they are mere constructs of our imagination, devoid of the reality we seek to comprehend. By fostering a culture of curiosity, we cultivate understanding and trust, thereby strengthening our relationships within the real estate domain. I implore you to embrace this practice, for it is through inquiry that we build connections, and through assumptions that we erect barriers.

Engaging in a reflective discourse on the imperative of questioning rather than assuming, Bill Risser provides a thought-provoking examination of communication dynamics in the real estate industry. The episode illustrates how assumptions can lead to significant miscommunications, as we often craft narratives in our minds that do not align with reality. Risser posits that the courage to ask questions is fundamental not only to professional success but also to personal relationships. By invoking the wisdom of notable figures such as Don Miguel Ruiz and Stephen Covey, he reinforces the notion that understanding precedes being understood, a principle that is critical in navigating complex interactions within the real estate sector.

The host adeptly weaves in cultural references, notably drawing parallels between his insights and the popular television series 'Ted Lasso.' By highlighting Ted's mantra of curiosity over judgment, Risser articulates a broader message about the necessity of empathy and inquiry in fostering trust. This thematic exploration culminates in a compelling argument for the transformative potential of questioning—both in terms of enhancing professional relationships and enriching personal interactions. Risser concludes with a clarion call for listeners to adopt this mindset, emphasizing that the simple act of asking questions can significantly alter the landscape of communication, ultimately leading to stronger connections and more fruitful outcomes in their professional endeavors.

Takeaways:

• In the realm of real estate and interpersonal interactions, the imperative to ask questions supersedes the tendency to make assumptions, fostering clearer communication.
• Assumptions often lead to misunderstandings and misinterpretations, which can adversely affect relationships in both personal and professional spheres.
• The act of asking questions is a demonstration of humility and courage, acknowledging that one does not possess all the answers.
• Curiosity, as opposed to judgment, is a fundamental trait that enhances connections and builds trust among individuals.
• Engaging in dialogue with clients or colleagues about their true concerns is crucial for effective collaboration and relationship-building.
• The assertion that assumptions are the termites of relationships highlights the destructive nature of unverified beliefs in personal and professional interactions.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Whether you're sitting acrossfrom a client, collaborating with
another agent, or hashingsomething out with your escrow officer,
ask instead of assume. It'seasy to tell yourself a story in
your head, but unless you ask,it's just that. A story. You're listening
to the Real Estate Sessions,and I'm your host, Bill risser. With
nearly 25 years in the realestate business, I love to interview

(00:22):
industry leaders, up andcomers, and really anyone with a
story to tell. It's thestories that led my guests to a career
in the real estate world thatdrives me in my 10th year and over
400 episodes of the podcast.And now I hope you enjoy the next
journey. Hi, everybody.Welcome to episode 423 of the Real

(00:43):
Estate Sessions podcast. Asalways, thank you so much for tuning
in. Thank you so much fortelling a friend. I am solo again
this week, and I'm really gladyou're here today because I want
to talk about something simplebut powerful. It's the idea that
we should ask questions andnot assume. This is something I'm
doing a lot in my role atFidelity National Financial, and
I thought I would share itwith the audience. Now, I know it

(01:06):
sounds obvious, right? But inreal life, especially in real estate,
we make assumptions all thetime. We assume we know what a client
is thinking. We assume acolleague is being difficult. We
assume someone's upset or thatwe're being ignored or that something's
personal. And most of thetime, we're off the mark. There's
a quote I love from Don McGillRuiz, author of the Four Agreements.

(01:27):
He said, don't makeassumptions. Find the courage to
ask questions and to expresswhat you really want. And, man, that
one hits. Asking questionstakes courage. It takes humility.
It's a way of saying, hey, Imight not have all the answers, and
that's okay. Now, if you'veever watched Ted Lasso, and honestly,
if you haven't, go fix that.There's a brilliant moment where

(01:48):
Ted is playing darts withRupert, who's Rebecca's ex. Ted tells
a story about how he wasunderestimated his whole life and.
And how that used to botherhim. Then he drops this line that
just lands. Be curious, notjudgmental. It's a quote often attributed
to Walt Whitman, thoughthere's some debate on that. But
what matters is the truthbehind it. Ted explains that all

(02:09):
those people who judged himnever asked questions. They assumed
he was a joke. They neverwondered what made him tick, what
he cared about, or what he wasgood at. That's the heart of what
we're talking about here. Inthis business and really in life,
judgment often comes fromassumptions. Curiosity, on the other
hand, comes from questions.And questions lead to connection,
understanding, trust. StephenCovey nailed it when he said, seek

(02:33):
first to understand, then tobe understood. And that's what asking
questions is all about. It'ssaying, I care enough not to guess.
I want to know whether you'resitting across from a client, collaborating
with another agent, or hashingsomething out with your escrow officer.
Ask instead of assume. It'seasy to tell yourself a story story
in your head. But unless youask, it's just that, a story. Anne

(02:55):
Lamott has a line that Ireally like. You can safely assume
you've created God in your ownimage. When it turns out that God
hates all the same people youdo. It's funny, but it's a reminder
that our assumptions usuallyreflect us, not reality. So here's
a challenge I'm throwing outto you this week. Channel your inner
Ted Lasso. Be curious, notjudgmental. Ask your clients what

(03:18):
they're really worried about.Ask your partner how they're feeling.
Ask your team what they needfrom you. Because asking builds bridges.
Assuming builds walls. Or asHenry Winkler once said, assumptions
are the termites ofrelationships. Thanks for letting
me have this short time withyou to share my thoughts on this
whole idea of askingquestions. Don't assume. Or even

(03:40):
if you want to call it, becurious, not judgmental. I think
it's a powerful tool in ourlives and also in what we all do
for a living. So just go outthere, keep asking the right questions,
and I hope you'll be back herenext week. Cheers.