Embracing Imperfect Parenting and Homemade Cosmic Brownie Cookies with Dr. Taylor Harper

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In this episode of The Real Family Eats, Dr. Taylor Harper, a child psychologist, mom of two, and children’s book author, joins Reesa for a refreshingly honest discussion about parenting, homeschooling, and real life in the kitchen. Skip the fluff and get the truth behind the chaos, challenges, and small victories of raising kids.

• Tips and mindset shifts Dr. Harper uses to manage parenting stress and stay present
• Honest talk on homeschooling, socialization myths, and choosing what’s best for your family
• How to handle big personalities in kids, including creative ways to channel energy (like WWE wrestling and throwing games)
• Real strategies for managing parental anger, apologizing to your kids, and fostering emotional connection
• The importance of finding small breaks, self-care rituals, and letting go of unrealistic social media standards

Don’t forget to check the links for Dr. Harper’s books and resources at the end!

 

 

From Dr. Taylor Harper:

Im a child psychologist who focuses on sibling bonds and sel. Im also a mom who lets my kids swear and normalize the struggle.

 

 

Connect: 

@ drtaylorharperatbettertogether

______

 

Cosmic Brownie Cookies

 

1/2 c unsalted butter softened

1/2 c light brown sugar

1/4 c granulated sugar

1 large egg

1 tsp vanilla extract

2 tbsp light corn syrup

1/4 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 c dark cocoa powder

1 1/4 c all-purpose flour

 

Toppings:

3/4 semi-sweet chocolate chips

1/4 c heavy cream

Rainbow chip sprinkles

 

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 350F

In a large bowl, use an electric mixer on medium-high speed to cream softened unsalted butter, light brown sugar, and granulated sugar for 2 minutes until light and fluffy.

Add the egg, vanilla extract, and light corn syrup and mix on low speed until combined. 

Scrape down the sides of the bowl so everything can combine. 

Add in baking soda and salt and mix for another 5-10 seconds until combined.

Lastly, add dark cocoa powder and all-purpose flour and mix on medium until combined. 

Scoop dough into 1/4 c sized scoops, roll into balls, then gently flatten each dough ball into a 1/2" thick disc; this will help them spread instead of be puffy. 

Bake at 350F for 11-12 minutes. Do not overbake. The centers may look a tiny bit wet but will continue to bake on the hot pan, allowing them to firm up without overbaking. 

Allow to fully cool before decorating.

******
Host: Reesa Morala, MA, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Reesa is a parenting specialist with a niche in supporting couples. Find Reesa hosting couples and parenting workshops nationwide!

Make sure to like, follow, and subscribe!

For the video version of this episode find us at: https://www.embracerenewaltherapy.com/

If you are a parent ready to share your real-life parenting struggle and dish up a recipe with Reesa, apply here:
https://www.embracerenewaltherapy.com/real-family-eats-guest

If you are experiencing a mental health crisis or need personalized support, please seek help from a licensed mental health professional. If you are in immediate danger or experiencing a crisis, contact emergency services or a crisis hotline in your area.

Suicide and Crisis Line: Text or Call 988

Go to your local hospital or call 911

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
I think when you are pushedto the limit so far,
that you just don't want to bethat person anymore,
is when you're going to change.
Hey everyone, thanks forjoining me.
My name is Reesa and I'myour host.

(00:21):
We are talking to real familiesabout real stories.
Here on the Real family eats,where we've got food for thought
and thoughtful food.
So let's eat.

(00:42):
Welcome back everyone.
Thank you so muchfor joining us.
I'm excited about today'sepisode, not only about
the recipe, but for the stories.
I'm sure we will talk about.
I have got Doctor TaylorHarper here joining us.
Hi, Taylor.
Thank you so much for joiningand being a guest on The
Real Family Eats Today.
Yeah, I'm so excited to be here.
I can't wait to talk about,you know, parenting staff life.

(01:05):
The chaos that goes onin my house.
And I'm sure this is going to bea favorite episode
amongst the kids when they hearabout the recipe.
So yes.
Speaking of okay, so for anybodywho doesn't know you, can you
introduce yourself for us?
Sure. Yeah.
So I am a child psychologist.
I am a boy mom of two.
I am a children's book author.

(01:27):
Let me think of whatelse is going on.
I'm a homeschooler, so we.
Can you talk about thata little bit?
And.
Yeah, just, born and raisedin the Midwest, moved out
to California and just kindof living life and figuring it
out.
Love it.
Okay, so you kind of alluded tothe recipe.
So tell us what recipeare you going to share with us

(01:47):
parents today?
And why did you choose this one?
Sure.
So so first of all, I'llpull this up.
So this is the seriesthat I started about our
four year old and his babybrother.
And it's cooking in the kitchen,so we do recipes all the time.
It's a little chaoticon Instagram.
We cook and do all thosefun things.
But the recipe I pickedwas something that I

(02:09):
used to like a lot as a kid.
And they are, you know, there'slike a little, they're like
cosmic brownies, I think, like,Little Debbie made them or
something like that.
But it's a cookieversion of that.
So it's always a fan favoritein our house.
It's always fun.
The kids love it,and it's actually in the back
of this book.
So it's the recipein the back of the book.

(02:30):
Oh, I, I love this.
Okay, so tell me what give youthat overview of all the stuff
that I'll be doing,and then I'll get cooking
and baking while we chat today.
Sure. Yeah.
So we're going to like what arethe ingredients in the whole.
Right.
You know, pretty,pretty standard stuff.

(02:52):
We're going to like, use,you know, like brown sugar,
granulated sugarand egg, vanilla.
Like corn sirup.
And, you know, for anyonewho doesn't know, not the same
thing as high fructosecorn sirup.
Just cuz nobody knew,baking soda.
So, you know, dark cocoa powder,all purpose flour, chocolate.

(03:15):
And then, of course, we haveour rainbow sprinkles,
which you have to be specificabout.
Okay.
So yeah.
So you're obviously you're goingto like, kind of mold
them together.
You're going to put themon the pan, put them
in the oven.
And you get to decoratewith the cute little sprinkles
that everybody knows.
And I can't imaginea human being who doesn't know

(03:35):
those sprinkles.
Right?
All right, I love it.
And yes, I think you're sospot on in the fact that,
any time my childrenhave an excuse to to
eat something sweet, they're.
So I'm sure they will havea fun surprise.
And.

(03:57):
I know, I feel like your kidsare gonna love me.
It's going to be.
I'm going to be the new favoritein the house.
And they don't even know me.
Which is even better.
This is. This is.
This is what.
This is what we made and this isfor today.
So love it.
Okay, well, I can absolutelyplug and play in for all these
in the mixer while we chatand while we do that, I know
that you had mentioned, boy,you know boy.

(04:19):
Mom, two boys, you're kind ofin the thick of it,
so let's chat.
I would love to kind of heara little bit about some of
the challenges that youhave experienced firsthand
that maybe don't really fitwith the Beaver Cleaver.
Oh, everything'sjust so amazing.
Lifestyle.

(04:39):
Tell me about it.
Yeah.
I guess the first thingthat comes to my mind is
our four year old has the most,like, bubbly, just outgoing
personality, with alittle bit of lack of focus.
Okay, I can see that she isthe smartest, sweetest child.

(05:06):
But he also, like, isone of those kids that takes
no mercy.
Okay?
Especially especially withadults.
But can you see more like.
What does that mean?
Yeah.
So like as a prime example, he'sin karate and at karate
I will get videos of him.
And he you would think he wason Broadway like he will

(05:29):
I have a video and it'slike a 32nd long video
of him kicking and he goes, Ki.
And it's just the is likemost drawn, dramatic thing in
the whole world.
And it is so cute and so funny.
He just, he just has suchas, like, big personality.
And so sometimes I have to like,real him in and I'm like,

(05:51):
hey, buddy, hey, buddy.
We have to, like, focus, right?
We got to, like, get backon track.
And I shouldn't even saysometimes because it's a lot
of the time.
And he definitely has someinteresting, things that
he loves that, you know,some parents, don't
love as much.
So one of my son's favoritethings is hocus pocus.

(06:15):
The movie.
Yes, yes.
Obsessed has been obsessedforever.
I mean, forever, like, we havepurchased a cape
and he will sing the wholesong, and, I mean,
the whole thing was startto finish, like, he gets into
this zone and he is, like,on his own little Broadway show.
And it is just the cutest, like,funniest thing to watch.

(06:37):
But it also comes with likeso many challenges, especially
homeschooling.
Because when we're inhomeschooling, right, it's like
I can kind of just allow himto be him, right?
And like, you know, whatever.
If you want to get inyour own world and do your thing
like, that's cool.
And then sometimeswhen he goes out into, like
the community setting or thingslike that, and they expect him
to focus, like karate,for example, he's like that.

(07:00):
He's that kid in the backof the room.
That's like coaxingother people to,
like, talk to him and, like,not pay attention. Yeah.
And he just is walking thisfine line between like,
not hindering his personalityand also like being like,
hey, buddy, it's time to checkin, right?
It's time to like, do our thing.
We got to like, you know,pay attention.
And he just just watching himand like, the joy that he has is

(07:23):
so hysterical.
But also sometimes is alsomanaging my expectations, right.
Because I sort of have a littlebit of that, like, people
pleaser mentality. Right.
And so I'm like, okay, buddy,we got to focus.
And then I'm like,you know what?
Why do we even care? Why?
Why do I care what other peoplethink about my kids doing?
He's having fun.
Whatever, right?
Yeah.

(07:44):
And so sometimes it's likemanaging our own expectations
too, right?
Of like, my kid time.
He's mine.
It's not, you know, if heif this is how he wants to spend
his karate time is doing a 32ndcheck in there, then, you know,
whatever, you know.
And so sometimes I thinkwith parents a lot, it's
it's about like our perceptionof what other people think.

(08:07):
And really like it shouldn'tbe that like just allow
your kid to exist the waythat they are.
Right?
And like, give them the chanceto have that super big,
bubbly, outgoing personality,right?
Because we need more peoplelike that.
We need people who trulylike, care about the world
and are present and who like,just enjoy life like.
And I think as adults we like,forget that you're supposed

(08:29):
to enjoy life.
Yeah.
And I think you're so smart.
I mean, because I'veheard that from so many parents
like that idea, like yousaid, that there's so much
pressure, whether it'sexternal pressure or internal
pressure of like, we've got toquiet down, we've got to fit in
like society says, you know,focus and, pay attention and,

(08:52):
you know, all these thingsand then, like, you're too big.
It's it's it's too much.
Right.
And to pull it back and thenthere's that, like you
said, that fear of us, of peoplelooking at me now.
And what are you thinking?
And, you know, are theyjudging me?
And so I think you'reso spot on and I, I feel like
one of the thingsthat I hear from people is
I want to be able to get tothat point where it's like,

(09:15):
I don't care, and I can justlet them be there so hard.
Like it's it's easierto say like, yeah, I don't care
when it is actually likewhen you're in it to kind
of be able to do some of thatsurrendering.
And so I'm so curious, like,have you for yourself done like
any explanation as to likewhy, why, why does that
even exist?

(09:36):
Like what's the purposeor the function for you in that?
Like, like you said thatpeople pleasing or having
that like awareness ofwhat are people thinking
right now?
Oh yeah, I mean, this goesway down the rabbit hole.
But, yes, I've donea lot of, like, inner work
to realize why it isthat I grew up in that sort
of people pleasing mentality.

(09:56):
But that doesn't mean thatI'm perfect, right?
Like, there are totally momentswhere I go back into it
and I'm like, okay, okay,we're let's just like, you know,
let's just get it together.
And then I have to rememberthat, like, I am the road
in my child's journey, right?
Like I'm here to createthe general road for you,
but I'm not here to hinder youor to shift you in a way.

(10:20):
Right?
Like I'm here to just help you.
And so I think I just look backto all of the things that I wish
I could have done differently.
Right? Or, you know,that someone would have told
me, right?
Like, hey, baby, youdo your thing, right?
Like, there's so many kidsright now even that
I see on a day to daybasis, right.
Who can diagnose something?
ADHD or somethinglike that? Right.

(10:41):
And they're too big forthe classroom, right?
They're just too big for theclassroom.
And so what do we do instead ofpromoting that child in the way
that they are, they say, hey,let's, you know, let's tell
this kid down.
Right.
And that's what that's, that'swhat life is, right?
Like they were made that wayfor a reason.

(11:02):
Right?
There's somethinggoing on there.
There's like, let's I thinkI just try to focus
more on like, okay, this is whatyou enjoy, this is what
you love.
Let's give you those tools.
Right. Versus let's hinder that.
Right.
And so that's why we startedhomeschooling, to be
quite honest.
I saw his personality and I sawhow big he was.
And I saw like, how sweetinclined and just so

(11:25):
loving towards his, like,baby brother.
He was then.
I didn't want a doll that way.
And I don't want to hateon like, schools.
I think there's so manyincredible teachers
like I really do.
I think there are so many peoplethat are working so hard
every day, but it's justit's the system
is whole, like in I again, likethere are so many teachers
that I absolutely admire.

(11:46):
I actually went back to my oldelementary school about
two weeks ago to do anauthor assembly, and my,
my third grade teacherhad actually just retired
like last year.
So I missed him by like a year.
And I was so excited for thatexperience because he was just
such like a pivotal partof my life.
So there are those teachersdoing the really good work.
It's just the systemis like not built for everybody,

(12:09):
right?
It's just not there.
And so I'm so happyand fortunate that we have
homeschooling as an option.
And, you know, my kidgets to do all these fun,
incredible things.
But yeah, it's it's a, it's abattle every day.
Right?
Because sometimes I'm like,you know, is schooling
the best option?
Should I send him to school?
I mean, that's like an everydaybattle, right?
Yeah.
And then I know how muchhe's grown and how much

(12:29):
he's involved.
And it's.
I find that every day I fightwith my own family, you know?
Oh, yeah.
Totally.
Like, they're like,you're crazy.
Like you doing, like,why is your kid homeschooling?
And the biggest thing, and I'msure you can attest
to this as well.
The biggest thing I get iswhat about socialization?

(12:49):
Yeah, I've heard that one.
So many.
Yes, for sure it isabsurd to me.
It is absurd.
And I'm like, okay,let me let me just play this
out for you.
What about socialization?
Is a kid sitting in a deskhaving to raise their hand,
not engaging with their peers?
That's not socialization to me.
I know right?
We're getting yelled atwhen they engage

(13:09):
with their peers.
This is socialization.
I don't get yelled at when wewere talking about
because like you said, thatmaybe you're a little bit
louder, or maybe you do kind ofhave this, this larger than life
kind of personality.
And then, like you said, is thatsocialization to be like
quiet down, right.
Nothing fit inside this,this box that we've,

(13:31):
we've designed for you?
Oh, yeah.
I mean, it's, so that was likethe biggest thing for me.
And so that's the questionthat I get asked the most.
Yeah, I would say whenhomeschooling is brought up,
that's the thing I get askedmost, like, what about
socialization?
I'm like, listen, my kidjust got to go last week
to do an author visit with me.
He got to see like over500 kids, right?

(13:51):
And he got to be a partof what mom does.
Like that to me is so muchmore beneficial.
Right.
And that's not everybody'sjourney.
And I totally understand that.
And there is no pressureto do anything you don't want
to do, like truly dowhat is best for you.
And I like wholeheartedlymean that.
Like do whatever is best for youand do whatever is best
for your kids.
Yeah, but to me, like thoseexperiences are just so pivotal.

(14:14):
He got to go with mom to Chicagoand like, see what
that was like, right?
And see what mom does.
And he got to be like a partof that.
And he got to see himself.
Right.
So like, I was reading this,so I have four books, but I was
reading this to older kidsand they were doing meditation
and mindfulness for the youngerkids.
And so he had to come inand like all of these kids

(14:35):
were so excited to meet himbecause it was him. Yeah.
And so he was like,we're excited.
He like to know what to do,to kind of like process it.
He was just like, and no,he doesn't realize he's
like famous, right?
He has no concept of that.
And I get asked that to like,does he realize that?
And like not really.
No, he doesn't he just,you know, like, even the other

(14:55):
night, he had to goand sign books and an author
visit that I did, and he waslike, mom, why do they want
my signature?
And I was like, well, buddy,because you're on the book.
And he was like,you don't want me to sign
their name?
And I was like, no, no,they want using your name.
Well, using your name. Yeah.
So I mean, he gets to dolike some of these incredible
things.
And I'm so fortunate to be ableto give that to him.

(15:17):
And like I'm so aware of that.
Like I, you know like a part ofit is me creating
that experience.
Right.
But a part of that is also likejust understanding that I'm
so fortunate to be ableto do that.
And I love literallyevery second of it.
Like truly my favorite thingon this whole planet.
Hardest thing I do is beingan author.

(15:37):
Favorite thing is beinga parent.
Like when I know everyone, like,roll their eyes, me like,
yeah, whatever.
And like, there are totally hardmoments like, you make
that absolutely clear.
You know, as we've talked abouta little bit, my 16 month old
is literally not sleepingthrough the night period.
He is his coping.
His coping mechanism is milk.

(16:00):
Exhausting.
So his two copingmechanisms are,
milk and sleeping in betweenhis mom and his brother.
So.
So it's, there's been a lotof unintentional co-sleeping
nights, for sure, becauseeventually you just
have for him, you're like,forget it.
This is worth it.

(16:22):
So, yeah, our our bedis totally full between dad,
our four year old, our 16 monthold, and Mia, our bed is
tapped out.
The dogs are on the floor.
It's been, the.
I mean, I think,you know, I just
I'm always just, I think,and I had to change my mindset.
And this has been, you know,over time.

(16:43):
But I'm just so grateful to getto experience these things
right.
And, like, be present for them.
And I think that's thebiggest thing is like, just be
present, right.
Like, you know, like, again,we will roll their
eyes and be like, you're notthat happy.
Yeah, I know there are momentswhere I totally am, like losing
my shit.

(17:04):
Like I'm, I'm a human, right?
Like.
And that absolutely happens.
But I was never once I comparethe losing your shit part
because this is somethingI don't.
I get asked this,but I feel like I would ask this
as a therapist through likefor real now.
Like, do you ever lose that?
You know, let's letlet's be real and people

(17:25):
don't believe me.
So I love take a moment, ask youthe same question I get asked
so many times.
So even as a therapist, you loseyour shit.
Oh my God.
Totally.
I'm a human.
Like that is.
I know that people thinkthat we're, like,
perfect and like, we just haveall these answers, right?
And again, with everything,it's easier for me
to tell somebody how to dotheir life than it is

(17:46):
to do mine.
Right?
Right.
Everyone can give advice, right?
But doesn't always meanyou're taking it.
I have no idea.
Right.
But, I think for me, I've gottenreally good at prioritizing,
things that I really enjoyin order to give myself
that space.

(18:08):
Okay.
So. Sure.
Favorite things of mine, Sana,I go, I'm like this
very ritualistic human being.
Every Friday I go to the sauna.
That's kind of my jam.
Every Sunday I go to yoga.
I do like a restorativeyoga class. Okay.
Once a month, I go to,Her name is Detox by Rebecca.

(18:33):
It's a lymphatic drainage.
So I'll make, like, one day,and I'll do that, and I'll
do a facial, so I'll literallygo, like, five minutes away.
I'll go to the facialistand I'll kind of just create
this day for myself.
Right.
And that to me just gives methat extra moment to just
kind of like write because I'mFridays.

(18:55):
It's just me.
Like, it's I don't workon Fridays.
So it's just me and the kidsall day long.
So by

the time 6 (18:59):
00 or whatever time it is rolls around,
my husband comes strolling down.
I'm like, okay, going tothe sauna by later.
I gotta get out of here.
I like my gym and, yeah, I'mlike, driving her car.
I'm like, one wheel.
I'm like, see you guys later.
You know, so I absolutelyhave moments, but I think

(19:21):
I just learned over time that I.
And I think I'm creatingsomeone's inner self.
Right.
And I think that's so crucialthat I don't lose my shit.
And if I do, then, like,I need to, like, take a step
back or.
And I know this is hardfor parents, you need to

(19:42):
apologize.
And I know it's hard.
Right?
You need to apologize.
And I think for me, that's likeit was hard at first because I
was like, why don't I apologize?
It's ridiculous.
Yeah.
And then I realized, like, I'mcreating a whole person, right?
And I want this personto apologize for things
that they do to other people.
Then I need to mirror that.

(20:03):
Right?
So even if I do lose my shit,which it only happens.
Yeah.
I get on this level andI apologize.
You know, I look him in theeyes like I would do
to anybody else,and I apologize.
Yeah, it was it was realhard at first.
It was like, can you thinkmore about that?
Because you're so right.
And I hear that all the time,right?
There's this idea of, like,apologize to my kids, right?

(20:27):
You know, for you, like,what did you find maybe was
some of your, your hangupsand what didn't make it
so difficult?
I think it's thatconcept of like, if the tree
falls in the forest and nobodyhears it, did the tree fall
right?
So I think a lot of parentscan see it as like,
oh, I don't need to apologizeto my kid because, like,

(20:48):
they're not going to remember,they're not going to know,
right?
Like, yeah, the treereally fall.
Right.
And you can just kind ofwalk away. Right.
What you're doing is you'rejust modeling behavior. Right.
So at the end of the day,like they're going to be like
oh and I have to apologize.
Why would I.
Right.
So I just always kindof try to come from the place
of love and compassion.

(21:09):
So that's hard.
Like it's hard right.
But but my biggest thing.
Right.
So when I'm driving homefrom work, again, I create these
little moments for myself.
Right?
So when I'm driving homefrom work, I'm.
You're listening to, like,a murder podcast.
Because I feel like it'slike all females or I'm
jamming out to, like,some twins rap.

(21:32):
We're talking like Eminem.
Whatever you can possiblythink of.
That's just likea little intense, right? Yeah.
And that kind of just, like,just sits me in a good place,
right?
Or I create a fun thingfor my kids.
So being a boy mom means alot of physical altercation.

(21:53):
So something that I do withour oldest, and he thinks
that is the funniest thingin the world.
We have speakers like downstairsthat are in our, like, ceiling.
And so I'll turn on our speakersand I'll play, hopefully
they see this.
I, I play WWE music, Yes I do,yes, I actually do.

(22:16):
And we will like,think, wrestle.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nice.
Yeah.
So here's my, here'smy therapist moment, just like
music and wrestlewith your kids.
Right.
Well, what I love about thatis it's a great way to channel
that energy.
And like you said,kind of towards the beginning

(22:37):
is that these are thingsthat if we can nurture them
and, and create that path,and even reframing our own way
of looking at it, that, gosh,how much we could nurture
some of that creativityand some of that energy that is
naturally going to be theredevelopmentally.
I mean, like, you know,we've got those feelings.
You're going to find a wayto do that.
WWE wrestling, when yougive them a space

(23:00):
to do it or not.
And so now in this way,what I love is that you're,
you're providing maybe likean outlet for that in, in a way
that contains, you know, kind ofoh yeah.
Okay.
Let's see for way maybe that'sthe way.
Yes, yes.
A lot of life with kidsis reframing.
So I went through a massivethrowing phase with our four

(23:20):
year old, and it wasright before, of course,
our youngest was aboutto be born, and I was like,
oh my gosh, he's throwingeverything.
This is just so hectic.
And my husband, of course,like turns and looks at me
and I'm like, I don't know,right?
Like I'm doing it.
What do I do with this?
He's just throwing.
It's just insane, I don't know,and at one point he broke a TV,
an accident.

(23:41):
Yeah.
So we had went to we had wenton a vacation and we went
to the NASCAR Hall of Fame,and we got him, like this
toy car, and it was like apretty heavy vehicle.
And all of a sudden,I came upstairs one day
and he had just gone answersfor, like, literally 30s.
I was like, hey, buddy, go getyour shorts.
Come downstairs.

(24:01):
I go stairs because he's takinga long time, which
probably means he's likein his own world.
So all of a sudden I justsee this, like, crack in the TV,
and I was like, okay.
And I finally keep mycool, right?
Because I realized that,like, yes.
Does it absolutely have to buya new TV?
Totally.

(24:22):
But it was me losing my coolgoing to be beneficial.
No it's not.
And at the end of the day,all I'm doing is
I'm making myself feel better.
It's not actually, it'snot changing what happened.
I'm just mad at him.
And so I'm going to take iton, on him.
But that doesn't makeanything better.
And all I'm doing is creatinglike more problems for him.
So I talk to him about it.
I somebody just pleasebe honest.

(24:43):
Like what happened.
And he was like, well, I thoughtit was funny to throw the car
in the air.
And then I hit the TVand I was like, okay, so like,
not intentional, right?
And I think that'swhat parents go first is like
it's intentional and likemost of the time
not intentional, right.
Like most of the time,just a weird sort of error
that has occurred with kidsbecause they were testing

(25:04):
the limits of life. Right.
And that's what they're doing.
So I think, yeah, I mean, it's ait's a whole thing.
So we went through this learningphase.
And so what I had to do wasI had to create a lot of things
for him to do thathe could throw.
So I put a bucket on the couchand I would give him, like,
those soft, squishy ballsand try to make it into

(25:25):
the bucket.
Yeah, right.
We have these things from Amazonwhere, you know, those,
like, couches that, like,foldable couches.
Yeah.
You can fold it up into,like, a square.
And then there's like thisVelcro piece that goes around
and it looks like eitherlike a hockey goalie or like
a baseball catcher or whatever,and it has little holes in it

(25:47):
and you can, like, throwinto there.
And that way you could throwas hard as he wanted because it
was just going directly intothis, like, couch.
So we really just had to getreally creative for a while.
And Pinterest is my best friend,completely my best friend.
Because I feel like even though,like I'm on social media, a lot
like Instagram becomes thisreally overwhelming like thing

(26:09):
where you can just constantlylike scroll and scroll
and you're just like,this too much Pinterest.
I can like get a few ideasand I can like move on
with my day.
But yes, a lot of throwingrelated ideas.
Thankfully we're past that.
But there's always phasesin life where things
will get broken and stuffdoesn't go quite right.

(26:29):
And I think just reallyremembering that like,
yes, you like lost your shitfor two seconds, but that is
like creating this humansmindset.
And so the last thing I wantto do is give him anxiety or OCD
or any of those things, right?
Like the last thingI want to do, because I

(26:51):
see it in these little kids init is just like I see
these little kids every day.
And I was like, oh, and I justwant to give them a hug.
And I'm like, let me justhug you, like, just hang
on a minute.
Yeah, right.
And like, I have kidsin my office who just come like,
sit on my lap and they justwant me to, like, be there
and be present.
Right.
And like, that's okay.
But I think it's justeven in the midst of the chaos,

(27:14):
I just want to really comefrom a loving, good place.
And I know it's really hard.
Right?
You've worked all day long,you're exhausted, I get it,
the lack of sleep totally here,right?
Me and coffee are best friends.
Me and coffee are absolutelybest friends.
But at the end of the day,I just really look back
and think, like, I'm creatinga whole person and I'm creating

(27:35):
their mentality and how they'regoing to engage with the world.
And like, I guess it's easywhen I have perspective
because I go to workevery day, right?
And I see these thingsthat like, are like not good
spectrum, right?
And so I think it gives me a lotof perspective every day, but

(27:57):
it doesn't meanthat I'm perfect.
Right.
And I think you can agreewith that.
Right?
Like, I'm sure there are thingsin parenting that you've done
that you're like, that wasinteresting.
Oh yeah.
And in fact, I think probablyevery day, like, if we really
have to get on, it's probablysomething every day that we
do that differently.
Yeah, probably goingyeah, sometimes I'm just

(28:20):
too tired and I forget it.
Just whatever.
Just let it happen.
Like, yeah, like it just iswhat it is.
And I, you know, you mentionedkind of just this idea of
kind of even the anger I heardyou mentioned that if I were
to go out and I, you know,like the car incident

(28:42):
and the TV, that if you wereto kind of get big and get
loud, that it would beabout you, could you say
more about that?
Like, why would you'recoming from that place,
be about you?
Because it's it doesn'tbenefit him for me to sit there
and scream at him and be like,don't do this.
Don't do that.
Right.
And like, come at him.
He's like, he was like twoand a half at the time.

(29:04):
Like what?
How is that going to benefit himat all in any way?
It's not, you know, like it'sit's really it's it's
not going to worklike that. Right.
And so at the end of the day,all it would do is make me
feel better.
And that's the crazything, right?
Is like, does it really makeyou feel better?
Because then like, I feel likewhen I do lose my shit,

(29:27):
I feel like immense amountof like shame and just guilt
and I'm like, I'm so sorry.
Like, why did you dothat? Right?
And so I think if we canjust alleviate that part right,
just take a deep breath.
Take a deep breath.
And this I'm laughing because,there's so on another
podcast about why I got intomeditation and mindfulness

(29:48):
and things like that.
And that was kind of awild journey.
And so for me, just like takinga deep breath and I think
about it like this, likejust because there's a tornado
going on around me doesn't meanthat I need to respond.
Right?
Like I need to take a momentand just be like, it's
okay, we're okay.
We're going to be fine.
We're going to, like, work thisout together.
Right?
So even though he was twoand a half, I treat him like

(30:10):
he's an adult, right?
So I sat him down and said,hey, buddy.
Like, just tell mewhat happened.
Like, let's just be honest.
I said, don't lie.
You know, just tell mewhat happened.
And he said, you know, like hesaid, you know, he thought
it was funny.
I said, okay, buddy,what do you think
that's funny now?
And he was like, no.
And I was like, okay.
And so the naturalconsequence of that was,
guess what?
When he wanted to watch TV,he couldn't because he couldn't

(30:33):
see the TV.
So the natural consequencethere was like,
yeah, this sucks.
You can't see the TV.
Like half the TV is black,you know, like you can't see
the TV.
And so we kind of left itlike that for a while because I
wanted him to realize, like,that's what happens when you do
this thing.
Right?
So it was a bigger sort ofnatural consequence

(30:55):
for him to learn that that TVdoesn't work.
Now, then, for me, I sit thereand like, what is berating you?
Okay, I'm going to do nothing.
It's not going to do anything.
You're not going to benefitfrom that.
Like, and again, I get it.
You were like pissed with me.
You go to work all day,you got to pay for this dang TV.
It's a whole thing, right?

(31:18):
But I just think about it aseverything in life is
replaceable.
My kids mental health is not.
It's a non-negotiable.
Yeah.
Right.
My kids physical healthnon-negotiable.
Yeah.
I was just going to ask I meanagain to kind of have this
now in your current brainwhere you're, you know

(31:39):
maybe more regulated. Right.
Right.
You're right.
Now hopefully.
Yeah.
It seems like it might bean easier thing to say,
but when you're in it. Yeah.
Excuse me.
But I get it, I get it.
We, Yeah, we're in the midstof all of that chaos.

(32:01):
When kids got a an infectionat the moment, it's a whole
hot mess.
Sorry about that.
It was that chocolate.
It just kind of wafted in.
Down the road.
Thank goodness.
Okay, well, for back.

(32:21):
So, just getting to that point,I imagine isn't easy.
Sure.
Yeah.
So I'll take you there.
I'll take.
How did I get to that point?
So the first two booksI ever wrote were about

(32:44):
meditation and mindfulnessfor kids.
So I started working with adultsand I realized that, like,
adults really lackedbasic coping skills.
And so I said adults tokids definitely don't.
So I started doing thatwhen our oldest was about
six months old.
And I actually started outdoing meditation

(33:06):
and mindfulness, not becauseI thought it was like the super
cool thing, but solely because,I thought I was
going to get an A in the class.
I thought I was going to beable to sleep.
It was a college class.
And so our teacher comes in and,just talking about this
last week, and it turnedinto this whole, like, other

(33:28):
conversation when our teachercomes in here, is this,
like, very he's like,very eccentric.
I don't know whatthis man is about to teach us.
But half of my classis asleep, like, midway through
the class, I was like, 930in the morning.
I know it was like nine.
Yeah.
For sure.
Yes, it was like 930 inthe morning.

(33:48):
It's a bunch of, like, collegeathletes, like everyone
was just like, I'm just,you know, we all had workouts
that morning, so I was justlike, this is a chance for us to
go to sleep.
He turns out all the lightshe like puts on YouTube video
meditations and like,that was like my experience.
And then eventually I was like,oh, this is kind of cool.
Like, maybe I'm stuckin this class, right?
Like, I might as wellsee what this is about.

(34:12):
And so I started doing it,and then I started challenging
myself to see how longI could, like, meditate
right now.
Just kept challenging myselfand challenging myself.
And the more that I went throughthat process, I then started
like a 30 day yoga challengewhere I do yoga every day
for 30 days.
And they say it takesabout 21 days to change,
like your mindset overall.
And so I just really focused on,I think when you are pushed

(34:35):
to the limit so far that youjust don't want to be
that person anymore is whenyou're going to change, right?
And so for me, I like being thatpeople pleaser and not
being able to form myown opinions or my own
decisions or, you know, alwayshaving this weird level
of anxiety.
And I didn't even know why.
So these things kind of allculminated together.

(34:55):
And I started to do meditation,mindfulness, and then I took a
couple more classes because Ireally loved it.
And so I was learning themeditation mindfulness
techniques, but then I wastaking the yoga and the things
that they were teachingin that yoga class. Right.
Like being present, just likethey say that if you're living
in the in the future,you have anxiety.
If you're living in the past,you have depression, right?

(35:18):
And so always just try to livein the present, right?
Like I really, really do.
And it's a daily thing, right?
Like even for me is for yearsand years and years.
And it's so like a daily thing,right.
Like I still really haveto push myself to not respond
in certain ways,even with adults.
More so, adults and kids,because kids, I'm like,
oh, you're so sweet and cute,like innocent, adults.
I'm like, I'm like flipping upthe middle finger

(35:40):
and I'm like, seeyou later, Joker.
And I'm sure, like, no onecan believe that
coming out of me.
But it does happen, I promise.
Kids, I'm very sweet and kindto not adults so much.
So, I mean, I think for me,it was just one of those things
that I just had to really,like, push through over time
and then, like, I don'tI don't know how to explain it

(36:05):
to you, and I don't knowthat I'll ever be able to do it.
But like the momentthat I saw our four year old,
I was just like, I love you sounconditionally and I don't know
how I can ever be mean to you.
Like, I just don't knowhow I could do that.
And so it's not that I don'thave moments where I'm, like,
so pissed off and just like,oh my gosh, or like

(36:25):
this obsession right now is thathe wants us to build him rainbow
on a boat.
No, I'm not a woodworkerany way, shape or form.
And he has talked about it7000 times.
I mean, I literally mean thatlike, mom, are you
going to go to Home Depot?
And I'm like, no, I'm not goingto go to home.
Do I want to do this?

(36:46):
Yeah.
He solicited my sister in law.
Like he's got the wholethe whole thing.
Like it's it's a whole it'sa whole thing.
And so yesterday,even yesterday, we were
driving home and he startedarguing with me.
And at Home Depot wasthe other way.
And I was like, buddy, Homedepot is five minutes
from our house.
No, it's not your line.
I was like, why would Ilie to you about the

(37:07):
location? What?
I said, I'm Home Depot, here'sthis place on this about me
because I was coming.
So like, do that.
But I'm so tired of hearingabout this. But, and so, like,
I was dealing with my husbandnot feeling well, I was like,
dealing with our youngest,having an ear infection.

(37:27):
And then this guy in the backtelling me that I'm lying
about the location, Home Depot.
I was just like, oh my gosh.
So I just sat there and I took adeep breath.
And I'm saying, buddy,if you talk about home people
one more time, I was like,I will not build this boat.
Like I promise you,I will not build this boat.

(37:49):
I won't even try.
Like if you ask me about hometo people again.
And so there isn't momentswhen I like, don't lose my mind
or think about it, right?
But I think I've just becomereally good at changing
my mindset and not likelosing it, right?
Or like for me, sometimes justbeing silent is the
better option.

(38:09):
I'm losing my mind.
Yeah, no.
Like I had my doctorPepper in the car and I was
just like, sitting there.
Just like drinkingmy doctor Pepper driving home.
Just like listening to himincessantly tell me that I
was the wrong way.
And I'm just like, it's fine,it's fine.
And like, even my ownhusband will ask you, like,

(38:30):
how do you say so?
Like, so calm.
And I'm like, I thinkpart of it too is that like
people pleaser sort ofmentality, right?
There's so there's so I dothink there are some good things
about it. Right.
But okay, generally speakingI think I always just put
everybody first.
And so it was just a naturalprogression in parenthood to put
my kids first.

(38:51):
And that was kind of thislike cool thing.
But so I mean, in ways I'm like,I can understand that I
it was not a terrible thing.
But then I just had to takeout the anxiety and the things
like that, that kindof created this
negative mindset.
Yeah.
Which really, I love puttingthem first every second
of every day.
Like, and I know that soundscrazy, right?

(39:13):
But that's why I said, like,being an author.
Hardest thing, being likeis easiest thing.
Truly, being an authoris one of the most challenging
things I've ever done.
Because you just don't seehow much work it takes to, like,
start to finish, and thenyou're constantly promoting
yourself every day, all day,all day long.
I mean, it is insanity.

(39:34):
Like it's crazy the amount ofwork like I respect authors
an insane amount.
Like after doing all of this,like shout it to every author
who's really do, yeah.
I mean, I think I just it'sjust taking a lot of time
and a lot of introspectionand a lot of me learning.
And then, you know,when all else goes to hell,

(39:54):
we just wrestle in theliving room.
We just, you know, and Ithink it works for me to write
like it works for mein a way that I can kind of like
decompress, right?
Or some of the thingsthat we do.
So after our secondson was born, I worked
with someone who kind oftaught me like a functional

(40:16):
way of, like, working out.
Right?
So doing it more, based on,like, your body and things
like that, making sure you'redoing the right form and stuff
like that.
And so one of thethings we did was we did a lot
of like, bear crawls and a lotof like inchworm and things
like that.
And so I will implement thatwith our kids.
Right.
Like I'm like, okay, let's race,let's do a bear call. Right?
Like and I get out energyso I can't possibly be

(40:37):
frustrated.
I'm too tired to be frustrated.
Yeah, absolutely.
So I mean, I can't give youlike a guidebook,
but it was justtime and patience and learning
about me.
What I love what you saidand I think it kind of
falls in that.
Right.
That you, you kind ofgot to a point.
It sounds like if I heard youcorrectly, you think you got

(40:58):
to the point where you, youhate were I can either
keep going down this pathor I can make a change.
I don't know necessarilywhat that change looks like.
I have to learn all thesenew skills, learn all these
new things.
But I have the abilityto do that.
And the motivation to dothat was it sounds like
kind of you seeing withinyour camp, like I want something

(41:21):
different for you.
And I was change for you and adifferent path that I can help,
you know, create for you.
And it's going to take melike learning all these
new skills and how to,like you said, how can I
incorporate, even opportunitiesfor me to get some of my own,
my anger and my frustrationkind of out in appropriate ways?
And how can we just reallykind of incorporate that,

(41:43):
if I'm hearing you correctly?
Oh, yeah.
I mean, like, I think, you know,as we both have experienced,
generational traumais a real thing, right?
Like we passed down these thingsfor so long, and people
do things the same wayfor so long.
And then we wonder whynothing changes.
And it's like, because you'restill doing the same thing,
right?
Like you're still in that space.

(42:04):
And so it's not like a callto action to parents is not
telling you to like,like, you know, read seven
books and like, what I'm reallyI get it.
We are truly like a generationof people who are so burnt out
and like I some daysjust lose my mind because of
my schedule, not my kidsor anything else.
Right?
But like everythingthat's going, everything else

(42:24):
that's going on in mylife, right.
And like a lot of it'slike really great things.
But that doesn't mean it doesn'twear on you.
It doesn't mean that doesn'thappen. Right.
And so I just I thinkcoming from being
a people pleaserto not the thing that I have
learned the most is making surethat I ask for what I need.
Right.
A parent, I don't think we dothat enough is like asking
for what we need, right?
If anything from our partner,it be from our kids,

(42:47):
or that'd be fromwhatever, right?
Like even from our self.
Like being able to ask for whatyou need, right?
If you need a break,take a break.
Right.
Take a break.
Right?
It seems so simple, but truly,like that's when I go
to the sauna on Friday, right?
I sit there and watch likegarbage TV and just like
sit in the sauna and, you know,get a little sweaty and like,

(43:09):
watch some trash TLC orwhatever it might be.
And I sorry, TLCfor saying that.
You're trash.
It's not trash.
I watch we are big fans of 90Day Fiancé, if you've ever seen
it.
I've not seen it, but I'veheard of it. Yes.
Wild.

(43:29):
Absolutely wild.
Because I think as a parent,just kind of finding your thing,
right?
Finding whatever that thing isthat, like, makes you happier
or, like, gives you fulfillment,right?
For me, it's like doing sportswith my kids, too.
It's, like, superimportant to me.
You know, being a collegeathlete, I a going on, like,
play tennis with our fouryear old.
They're all like, you know,my husband can't wait

(43:52):
to play home run derby,but that's a little later on.
We need a little moretime for that.
But I think the more time wespend with them, and, like,
I can't say thisenough and, like, again,
this is not for everyone.
Like, I promise you, it is.
It is not for everybody,but the dynamic between
our two kids because they areboth in our home is incredible.

(44:16):
I mean, it is so adorableto watch them.
I mean, it's absolutelyadorable.
Like there's there'sno other way to describe it.
They spend so much time togetherthat they don't know
anything else.
Like if I ask my four year old,who's your best friend?
He's either going to say medad or his brother.
I think that's it.
Yeah, yeah.

(44:36):
And so I think that'sso helpful to is that they send
so much time togetherthat they have to
learn to coexist becausethey spend so much
time together.
Right?
So I think a lot of timesthey're on these like homeschool
parents go on these podcastsand like everything's great.
We have like, you know, 15 kidsand everything's just rolling
fine.
And it's like, yeah, because youhave to learn to coexist.
You don't have an option.

(44:57):
Like you just kind of have tomake it work great.
You're all in the house,you're all doing your thing like
let me see if there's a, I knowthere's like a very cute this,
this was like literallythis morning.
So in the midst of our nonsleeping chaos right.
Half the time I'm likeoff the bed.
So when I just get upand I'm like, forget it.
I'm an early morninghuman being.

(45:17):
And so eventually I was like,forget it.
Oh, that's something crazy too.
Biggest piece of adviceI could ever give to parents.
And I think this was sopivotal for me.
Get up two hours before any kidsknow this early.
But there are somethingso magical about being
able to sit and just like,drink coffee or do
whatever you do in the morningall by yourself.
Like the world just seems likeit is not there.

(45:38):
Yeah, life is not there.
And you can just kind of relaxand just like I'm telling you,
like, even if it's an hourfor your kids, like, it's a
magical experience to just see.
And I don't have to watch supersimple songs or Miss Rachel
or whatever Disney stuff we needto watch, right?

(45:59):
Like, I can like, watchanother not real, but,
adult content and not tonot actually constantly change
the channel.
Yeah, yeah.
And drink my coffeeand it's warm the entire time,
which is wild and uninterrupted.
Yeah, it's it's undetermined.

(46:20):
And if the dog looks at me,I'm just like, no, thank you.
No, thank you.
So that's my biggest pieceof, like, advice.
Say you take anythingfrom this is, you know,
just enjoy life and, you know,get up an hour before kids
get up and know.
But yeah, this wasthere they are.
They were definitely, it's likewhenever I'm zooming in

(46:41):
it's like moving.
But yeah, there's a ton of them.
They like, have likeinterlocked arms
as a whole thing.
You know what they arejust so other it's,
And I love that.
And so as we kind of wrap up,the one of the things with you,
you kind of, I think you gave usa big pro tip here,

(47:01):
but I love to ask folksthat if you had access
to a Delorean, backto the future.
Something back to the future.
Can you have you had accessto one?
And you could go back to a pointin your life, and age
or whatnot, and offer yourselfsomething not to not to
change things necessarily,like change, you know, change

(47:24):
events, but rather tooffer yourself a word, a phrase,
or even just a hug.
When would you go back andwhat would you offer yourself?
Well, let me think.
I think right after both of mykids were born.
Okay.

(47:44):
And this is a shout outto like every mom on this
planet, like, I knowhow hard it is and I've been
there, and I live that.
And like, there's just an insaneamount of pressure put on moms,
right?
Like, I had two C-sectionsand I was supposed to
just get up the next dayand actually everything
was fine, right?
Like, I just wasn't get upand take care of this whole life

(48:07):
and just kind of figure itout, right.
It's I think I just go backand, like, give myself a hug
in those first, the first weekbecause that first, like a week,
you know, because therewere moments where I was
totally having a breakdown, likein the shower, just like wanting
to be by myself and being like,I love this human being so much,
but at the same time, like,I just your hormones

(48:27):
are all over the place,like it's just a whole mess.
It's a whole mess.
So I think I would go backand just kind of be like
second time around wassignificantly easier.
I will say that because I thinkyou know what to expect
when you have a little bitmore of like a sense of
what's going on.
But first time around, wow.
Like, that was that was crazy.
And like, no amount of helpfrom, like, your significant

(48:51):
other or family or friendsis going to change that.
Like, you have to workthat experience, right? Like
I couldn't no one could takeaway the fact that, like,
my hormones were just all overthe place.
Yeah, absolutely.
And so I think I wouldjust go back and be like, it's
okay, it's going to be fine,right?
Like we're going to be okay.

(49:11):
And then you look at yourselfin the mirror and you're like,
who the heck is this person?
Like a little person, right?
And I think we see, you know, onsocial media and all
those things, all these momswho just like Max, they like
bounce back and they're like,think it's like, I'm like,
we're like the momswho literally are like,
you labor with like, curlyhair and like, look, you.

(49:35):
I'm like, there'ssomeone with you.
Like, did someone do your makeupin real time?
Like, what is happening here?
I look like a total disasterbecause nothing exciting about
any of that.
So I, you know, I think I wouldjust go back and, like, be like,
hey, it's okay.
We're good.
Like, it is going to be fun.
Your kids are great.

(49:55):
It's going to be all good.
Because I think, yeah,I think a lot of, you know,
for everything in life,social media sets a lot
of unrealistic expectations.
And even as, like, you know,as a psychologist,
I'm susceptible to a to, like,I want certain things
from my own life.
Right.
And so when I see thatin other people, I'm like,
dang, like, why don'tI have that?
Or like, what's going on?

(50:16):
Like, why can't I just domore like, do that thing, right?
But like, I have toremember that it's not
my thing, right?
That's not my journey.
So yeah, for sure.
I definitely go backand give myself a hug.
Like in that first weekof first.
Yeah, I love that, though,because I think you're so right.
And in so many the thingsthat you said throughout our

(50:36):
conversation here is thatjust some of that, we'll get
through it.
It's really rough.
And I see you and I hear youin that rough.
And you, you can do thiseven though sometimes it
maybe seems like it's like,I don't think I can.
Yes.
And we did a lot of thatwhen our four year old
was younger.

(50:57):
So, yeah, another little tip.
Just being there, right?
Like when your kids are havingthese full blown tantrums,
you're not going to change it.
And yelling at them and tellingthem to be quiet is not going
to help you change anything.
I would just get down onthis level.
Literally.
I would sit on the floor, and Iwould just wait and I would say,
I love you.
I'm here for you.
Let me know when you're ready.

(51:17):
And eventually I got to a pointwhere when he was ready,
he would come crawl up in my lapand I would just hug him
and we would kind of hang out.
And now it's gotten tothe point where if he's like
having a meltdown, whichis mainly if he's,
like overtired at this point,he will be like, mom,
can you hold me?
Right?
And that's because we fosterthat really good connection,
like at the beginning.
And it was rough, right?

(51:38):
Like I'm sitting herelistening to this child
scream and just, like,lose his mind.
Yeah.
I was like, oh my gosh.
But I just had to believein the process.
Right.
I had to believe that it wasgoing to work.
And so I would justsit on the floor and I'd wait.
And if that meant that Imissed dinner or my dinner
was cold or whateverthe case may be.
Right.
Because it never happensin a convenient moment,
never happened.
And that's what it was, right?

(51:59):
Because I knew thatI was fostering this whole
human being.
And so I think that's just like,just be present.
Just be present and be there andmake them present.
I mean, when you say anythinglike just being there isn't like
you are enough.
And I think that's likeso crucial is like you weren't
enough as a parentto just be there.

(52:20):
Right.
I don't always have tofix everything.
And so sometimes you don't needto fix it.
All right.
And that was the thingwith myself too.
Like I don't needto fix everything
all in one day.
Right.
I need to walk outof the hospital looking like
I didn't just have a kid.
Right? Yeah, because you did.
And it's hard.
And so it's okay to look like,yeah, I just went
to hell and back because it wasreally like, you know, my organs

(52:45):
were literally just outof my body like I was
before that, you know, like.
Yes. Yeah.
And the second time around,I did make my husband
videotape it.
I had two C-sections.
And the second time I was like,I want to know.
I want to see what's going onhere.
You need a video tape? It.
And our four year old.
I've never shown him this video.
I don't know how he's like.

(53:06):
We must have had a conversationabout it.
And he was watching his brother,like, be born.
I don't know whyhe likes watching this video.
He loves it.
And I'm like, buddy,can we turn it off?
Like I'm getting nauseousover here right?
Like, maybe becauseit was my skin, but I'm
getting notches, so, I mean,yeah, I look back on the video

(53:27):
and that's like alittle reminder of, like,
what really happened, right.
And it's this incredible thing.
But I think just like every momgiving yourself like, grace
and please don't go onsocial media, just, like,
check it out for like,a couple of months.
Just like, leave it over there,because you're not going
see anything you want to see.
It's, there are very few momswho are, like, really, truly

(53:50):
transparent about whatit looks like.
Absolutely.
And so I thank you guys so muchfor being willing to come
and talk to us about whatreally does happen, because I
think, you know, it's notI will not share photos
on Instagram.
Yes.
I will not share photos,but you just know it was a mess.

(54:10):
It was a mess.
I can relate 100%.
So I appreciate you know,this is before I let you go.
This is our time for Shamelessplug.
So for anybody who wants toconnect with you, get in touch
with your books or anythinglike that, please plug away.
Tell us.
Tell us how we can find you.

(54:31):
Okay. Yeah, sure.
So, social media doctorTaylor Harper at Better
Together.
Book wise, doctor TaylorHarper books.org.
Or obviously Amazon.
But if you want me to sign itand all the good stuff,
you gotta go to the website,and do some pretty cool
things online right now.
So I don't know how quicklythis is going to come out,

(54:51):
but hopefully, maybe they'llsee it before this ends.
I'm not sure.
But I did a collaborationwith Chrome Strips for one of
my meditation mindfulness booksfor kids.
So those are out right now.
And I'm actually doinga giveaway, but I think
this might not come out on time,but we'll see.

(55:12):
But if it does, you know,go check it out.
Because I'm giving away a signedcopy of one of my books and the
comic strips that go with it.
And then.
Yeah, just come, come hang outwith me, ask me questions,
please.
Like, DM me.
If I can answer it ison a totally clinical question
that I'm not supposed to answer.
I will happily respond likeit is me on social media.

(55:32):
There's nobody else running it.
It's just me, myself, and I.
So you will get a responsefrom me.
Wonderful.
And all of those links will bein our show notes as normal,
so make sure to check that out.
Thank you Taylorso much for being
willing to come shareyour recipe.
I'm excited for to put these inthe oven.
I am so thankful, for yoube willing to just be authentic

(55:55):
with us and share a little bitabout your story and kind of
how you've been making yourway through it.
We're getting there.
We're getting there every day.
Yes.
So thank you again.
And thank you everyone fortuning in.
We will see you next time.
If you or anyone that you knowis struggling with any of
the topics that we discussed intoday's episode, make sure

(56:18):
to check out our show notesfor support and resources.
You can get help.
So thanks again for joining uson today's episode of The
Real Family Eat.
If you're a parent readyto share your real life
parenting story, make sure toreach out to us and our website
found in the show notes.
And that goes for today's recipesocial media's support

(56:41):
and resources.
All of that can be foundin our show notes,
so make sure to check them outand make sure to follow, like,
share, subscribe, and stayup to date on all things
the real Family Eats.
I hope you'll join us next timefor more food for thought
and thoughtful food.
Enjoy your eats!