December 9, 2025 • 34 mins
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Get real about parenting and personal growth in this candid episode of The Real Family Eats featuring guest Jamie B. We dig into Jamie's journey through loss, business ownership, and redefining what matters most as a parent.
- Jamie’s experience of loss and how it impacted her perspective on parenting and work
- The challenges and coping mechanisms involved in grieving as a business owner
- Practical steps and advice for homeschooling after public school wasn’t the right fit
- How external judgments affect grief and what meaningful support actually looks like
- Jamie’s transition from vet tech student to successful dog grooming business owner
Tune in for real-talk and tangible takeaways for parents facing tough transitions.
From Jamie Buccheri:
Homeschool mom of two and business owner of three.
Connect:
@jamie.buccheri
______
Pickle & Olive Martini ("The Dirty Dirty")
Ingredients:
2 oz gin or vodka (your choice)
0.5 oz dry vermouth
0.5 oz pickle juice
0.5 oz olive brine
1-2 pickle slices (for garnish)
2 green olives (for garnish)
Optional: a splash of lemon juice for brightness
Instructions:
Fill a shaker with ice.
Add the gin/vodka, vermouth, pickle juice, and olive brine.
Shake well until chilled.
Strain into a chilled martini glass.
Garnish with a skewer of olives and a pickle slice (or get fancy with a mini dill wrapped around the olive).
Salty, tangy, and totally unfiltered—just like your podcast episode.
Bacon-Wrapped Dates (Stuffed or Not)
Ingredients:
12 Medjool dates (pitted)
6 slices of thin bacon (cut in half)
Optional stuffing:
Soft goat cheese
Blue cheese
Almonds
Instructions:
Preheat oven to 375°F (190°C).
If stuffing: slice the date open (but not all the way through) and add a teaspoon of cheese or one almond inside. Close it up.
Wrap each date with half a bacon slice and secure with a toothpick.
Place on a baking sheet lined with parchment or foil.
Bake for 18–22 minutes, flipping halfway, until the bacon is crispy.
Let cool slightly and drizzle with honey or balsamic glaze if you’re feeling boujee.
Sweet, salty, smoky—like a mic drop wrapped in bacon.
******
Host: Reesa Morala, MA, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Reesa is a parenting specialist with a niche in supporting couples. Find Reesa hosting couples and parenting workshops nationwide!
Make sure to like, follow, and subscribe!
For the video version of this episode find us at: https://www.embracerenewaltherapy.com/
If you are a parent ready to share your real-life parenting struggle and dish up a recipe with Reesa, apply here:
https://www.embracerenewaltherapy.com/real-family-eats-guest
If you are experiencing a mental health crisis or need personalized support, please seek help from a licensed mental health professional. If you are in immediate danger or experiencing a crisis, contact emergency services or a crisis hotline in your area.
Suicide and Crisis Line: Text or Call 988
Go to your local hospital or call 911
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
It kind of, backfired alittle bit because a lot of
people would say, well,you don't even look sad.
I haven't seen you cryin a long time.
And it's like, you have no ideaHey, everyone, thanks for
joining me.
My name is Reesa and I'myour host.
(00:22):
We are talking to real familiesabout real stories.
Here on the Real Family Eats.
Where we've got food for thoughtand thoughtful food.
So let's eat, Welcome back,everybody, to the real family.
(00:46):
eats.
I'm excited about today'sepisode.
And our guest the lovelyJamie is joining us.
Hi Jamie thank you so much forjoining us here today.
Hi, guys.
Thank you so much for having me.
Yes. All right.
For anybody who doesnot know you.
Can you introduce yourself forus today?
Yes.
So I am a mother of two anda business owner of four.
(01:10):
Oh my goodness.
So you've got your hands full,I imagine.
Yes, very much so.
Okay.
Well, I can't wait to heara little bit about,
the parenting journeythat you're, you're going
to share with us today.
I think that there'sa lot of value there, that
our parents will get atbefore we do that.
(01:31):
As always, you're going to sharea recipe with us,
and you've got.
We had a two for onetoday, folks.
So tell us, what recipeam I going to be making
and why did you choose this one?
So I chose bacon wrapped datescombined with, pickle
olive martinis.
And I chose this because ifthis were something that
I were making at home, it'sthe one meal that makes me feel
(01:55):
like I'm at a five star resort.
No matter where I'm at, I justautomatically feel like I'm
on vacation and extra fancy.
So that's why I chose that.
Yeah, and what I loveabout that is one of the
number one things I hearfrom parents all the time is
we're just so busy to kind oftake some time for ourselves
and have nice things again.
(02:17):
It's so few and far between,but I love that this is
something that folks could doright at home.
Without necessarily going onvacation and having to drag
all the kids with us, right?
Or leave them.
But that could still give youa little bit of a break.
Exactly.
A patio, a sunset, and thenyou're set for the night.
Perfect. Okay.
(02:39):
So if you could tell me, tell methe steps to the recipe,
and then I'll get mixingand making while we chat.
Okay.
Sounds good.
So we're going to first,are the dates pitted and cut?
If not we're going to go aheadand do that.
They are okay.
And then we are going to precook the bacon slightly.
(03:01):
Okay.
Okay.
We're going to do you want me todo it slowly or just
you can just give it all to meand then I'll I'll get moving.
Okay. Perfect.
And then we're going tostart the date.
So whether you have goat cheeseor cream cheese, whatever
your preference is we're goingto go ahead and stuff
those. Okay.
(03:22):
And then after that we're goingto wrap it in the bacon, put a,
toothpick in it just to kind ofkeep it in place.
And then we're going tomake them awesome.
And then how about the martini?
What are we doing there?
So the martini, obviouslyyou can use, gin, vodka,
whatever.
Your preferences for a base.
Then we're going to doa little bit of pickle juice,
(03:44):
a little bit of olive juice,and then we're going
to garnish with a pickle,an olive.
Perfect.
Well, I can absolutely do that.
And while I get moving, I knowyou mentioned, you know, you got
two kids and we were talking alittle bit before this,
that your journey to kind ofgetting there wasn't necessarily
(04:05):
super straightforward.
And there were some challengesthat you had.
So I love to kind of hear alittle bit more about your
experience and kind ofentering into, into parenthood
and what that look like for you.
And so I was, 20 years old.
I had just opened a brandnew business, a dog
(04:27):
grooming salon.
And so I had a lot on my plateat the time.
I was very young.
I was about to be a new mother.
I was a new business owner.
I had a lot of stuffgoing on for me at that point,
and my mindset was always justwork, work, work and you can't
work anymore.
And that's what life is.
Okay, so when I had my son,I was back to work within
(04:51):
four weeks after a C-section.
I was on the phone constantly,even throughout that break.
And it always felt wrong,very deep inside of me.
But I just didn't really knowany other way.
Okay.
When I lost my son in 2015,he was five months old
(05:13):
at the time.
Gave me a huge reality shiftthat I don't think
a lot of people had theopportunity to experience
that sort of reality shift,especially at that young
of an age.
And it just really mademe prioritize for the future.
So I knew that when I hadkids again, that I had to
(05:37):
take this time to buymy time back and make sure
that once I was ready to dothat again, that I would be able
to be home with them and spendtime with them because
life isn't about workingourselves to death.
So if it's okay with you,I would love to kind of take
a step back.
(05:57):
You mentioned that for you kindof work, work, work was was what
you knew, which kind ofhow you were living life
at that point.
Can you say a little bitmore about for you kind of
where did that was thatsomething that was modeled
for you, or how did thatkind of mindset come about
at the beginning?
Yeah.
So my mom is an entrepreneuras well.
(06:20):
And so my younger ages,my grandma watched me a lot.
So I knew that my mom workedreally hard and she was gone
a lot of the time.
And that was just kind ofthe mindset that was
modeled through my childhood.
And my parents.
Gotcha.
Okay, so for you like the idea,because I heard you mentioned
(06:41):
you said for weeks aftera C-section that you
return to work.
Yes.
Oh my goodness, I imaginethat was that's got to
be exhausting.
Well, I was young.
I had the energy.
I mean, doing somethinglike that now would be out of
the question.
But, for me, I was just so laserfocused on my business.
(07:02):
And then also, I didn'thave it set up in a way where
I could step back.
So when I did, there werea lot of fires to put out.
So I kind of felt obligatedto go back because it wasn't
set up correctly for meto leave.
So.
Gotcha. Okay.
And so when this happenedin this class, you know,
(07:25):
unimaginable.
What happened?
What and what came up for you,what was that like?
I can only imagine just, gosh,the amount of devastation
in that moment.
Yeah, I was, I was definitelyI was definitely in shock
for a few weeks.
There's a lot of, like,hazy moments and things that I
(07:47):
don't remember very clearlyabout that time.
But just every day,every moment, like, you just
wake up, your eyes open,and you're just in pain
immediately and just tearsand flooding immediately
from wake to sleep for, I mean,I don't even know how long.
And then having to deal with,you know, the funeral
(08:09):
and arrangement and then familyand then everyone else's pain on
top of that.
And then running a business.
I don't, I don't know,I don't know how I got
through it.
I think I was just existingthrough it, to be honest.
Wow. Yeah.
And I think you make such a,a point that maybe, you know,
(08:29):
people don't think about is thatit doesn't just stop there, that
there are so many other things,like you said, other people's
pain and grief that maybethey're coming to you
and expressing and havingto deal with the logistics.
And on top of it, you know,you're dealing with you've got
a business, which I imagineat that point in time was
your way of, you know,putting food on the table.
(08:52):
Would that be a fair statement?
Exactly. Yes.
Yeah.
And so, I mean, how do youhow do you manage all of that?
How did you get to theother side of that?
I think by just puttinglaser focus into positive things
because obviously it's very easyto go down a rabbit
(09:14):
hole of like, you know,partying or drug use or,
you know, other thingslike that.
But if you can put all of thatpain and energy into making
a better life for yourself,which obviously is easier said
than done.
But all that energy needs togo somewhere, so channeling it
into something positive I thinkis really the only way out.
(09:37):
Was there something for youthat that kind of helped you,
or that you, you in particularkind of channeled that energy
into, mine was work becausethat's all I really had
at the time.
I just, I knew I my focuswas just on my next life is
(10:00):
going to be exactly the wayI want it, and I'm going to
make that and manifestthat into every single day.
So it was really justputting all my focus into like,
I mean, I went back into thingslike I went into my time,
I was going to the gymconstantly.
I really enjoy singing.
I feel like, the frequency, likethe frequency that happens
(10:23):
when you're singing is very,very healing.
So just like personal hobbiesand little things, on the side.
And then, like I said,just diving into work.
Yeah.
Were there any of those?
Because it sounds like you,you had multiple, maybe coping
tools that you went to thatyou used in your toolbox?
(10:43):
Was there anything whether it's,it's there or other people
or support groups oranything else like that,
that for you just really,was helpful in your
healing journey because Ifeel like so many times
people say, you know, oh,with grief especially.
Oh, it just takes time.
(11:05):
And we kind of stop there.
There's not necessarilytoo much more as to like
what really did help.
Did anything help, or was itjust kind of a grin and bear it
until it's a little bit lighter?
No.
So, I think I unintentionallycreated some tools for myself.
And I'm not against, therapy or,you know, going to talk to
(11:29):
someone at all.
It just didn't work for mebecause I would go to the group,
I would go to the groups.
And a lot of my parents wereexperiencing things like,
since and, you know, accidentalthings.
Mine was just a it wasit's just a different story.
So even in those groups,I would tell my story
(11:50):
and everyone would stop and bewide eyed and be staring at me.
And I was supposed to not feellike an alien in those
situations, and I still did.
And then I would go seea psychiatrist psychologist,
and I literally have toget up and go hand them tissues
because they're crying.
So I, I mean, I tried 3 or 4psychiatrist psychologists.
(12:12):
I tried a few groups.
It just wasn't for me.
It was better for me to healon my own.
But a couple thingsthat I did do was
the first thing was, you know,obviously being a business
owner or just, you know,having to live life in general,
you can't be a messall the time.
You have to have a toolwhere you can kind of
bring yourself togetherand compose yourself.
(12:33):
So me in the car or when I hadprivate time, I would play music
that would remind me of himand I would just cry and
I would get everything out,and I would just allow myself
to feel every emotion.
But when the car stoppedand the music turned off
and I had to walk in somewhere,or I had to talk, some talk
to someone, I, over timetrain myself to shut it off
(12:56):
in that moment.
So that allowed meto kind of gain a sense
of control where I wasn't justshoving it down and not
allowing it to come out.
But I wasn't just, you know,breaking down every single
moment of my life.
And I was able to functionthat way.
It kind of, it kind of,backfired a little bit because a
lot of people would say, well,you don't even look sad.
(13:18):
I haven't seen you cryin a long time.
And it's like, you have no idea,but I would.
I just learned to control itover time by shutting it off
and allowing my talent my timein, in private.
Yeah.
When you say it kind ofbackfired, was it like
a backfire?
Because then people maybe thendidn't extend any empathy
(13:41):
or compassion because they'relooking at you and saying,
oh, well, you know, she must beover at we're going to go
or can you say a little bit moreabout that?
Yeah, exactly.
So people would just call melike Non-Emotional or that
I didn't care, or that maybeI must have had something
to do with it, like just allkinds of things, because I
(14:01):
was in a mess in public,or around people, as much as
I should have been or something,I don't know, but that was
just me trying to gaincontrol of my life, and people
didn't see what I was goingthrough at night or in the car
or any other time.
So, I'm glad that narrativepeople having that narrative,
because I had to do what I hadto do to get out of that.
(14:23):
And I don't need to explainanything to anyone, but that is
one of the things that happenedbecause of that. Yeah.
And I hear you saying,you kind of you, you know,
you were giving peoplethey were free to kind of
have their own thoughtsand their own opinions,
and you needed to kind offocus on you and your healing
and whatever that look like.
(14:44):
I imagine that doesn'tnecessarily have those
those words and those thoughtsand those rumors and opinions
kind of flying aroundmake it any less hurtful,
when you're already tryingto just move through
it and survive.
Yeah.
I mean, now now I, I can see theperspective clear as day.
(15:05):
But back then, in the midstof that, yeah, those comments
killed me.
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
And I'm so sorry that that wasyour experience.
Because in those moments withsuch grief, I think what you
mentioned there, findingwhat works for you is
so important because whatworks for one person isn't going
(15:26):
to fit the next person.
We're such unique individuals.
And to kind of expectone person's grief
to look exactly the sameas someone else's is, is really
unfair.
And unrealistic.
Yeah.
And yeah, and then measuringthat to how the person actually
feels inside is absolutelycrazy.
But yeah, none of those peoplehave gone through that, that are
(15:47):
judging things like that.
People that have gone throughthat are non-judgmental
too, however you're acting.
So yeah.
And what I really appreciatedthat you said is that for you,
you know, you had realitiesof having to show up
for business and, and run that.
And it would, I imagine,be debilitating if you
didn't have some of thoseboundaries of like,
(16:10):
you know, okay, I have this carride, right?
To kind of feel whateverI want to feel whatever
comes up, I'm goingto let it come.
And then once this, this partis done or and, you know,
I shut off the music that, thatthat's my boundary that
I'm drawing becauserealistically, I need to
step into the spaceand I need to to be a business
owner.
(16:30):
Yeah, exactly.
And I mean, the triggerswere just nonstop.
I mean, I was the face ofthat business.
And so 3000 clients knew I justhad a baby.
So every single one wascoming in.
How's the baby?
How's the baby?
Wow.
100 times a day.
And so the triggers wereeverywhere.
So if I didn't learn tocompose myself, like I would,
(16:53):
I would have been gone.
Yeah. Oh, gosh.
I couldn't imagine,like you said, just over
and over and over,some of those, those questions.
And to have something that'sso personal and so private,
kind of being thepublic eye, for lack of a
better way of kindof saying that I have
some of that, I think forlike six months I would say,
(17:17):
oh, he's good, he's good.
And then one of my groomersput her hand on me afterwards,
and she looked at meand she goes, what are you
going to say in nine yearsthat he's in baseball?
And I said, I was like, it wasit was harsh to hear that,
but I was like, I was like,you're right.
And then that was a new phase.
And it was now every singleperson who asked and who has
(17:39):
been asking me for the lastcouple months, I now
have to like kind ofsay something to them so that
this line doesn't,like, continue.
So then there was thatphase of it and yeah, yeah,
gosh, if I could I'm goingto grab my child.
I'm ready to pour my, mymy drinking, grab my glass
over here.
(18:00):
I wanted to ask because Ihear you saying some of what
you experienced that maybewasn't as helpful in your
grieving process.
Is there anything for anybodylistening that maybe has has a
loved one, a friend, whomeverthat might be going through
something like this or will inthe future that you could offer
(18:21):
them?
What would have been morehelpful for you, that people
could have offered supportthat they could have extended
to you during this time?
I would say silence.
I mean the silent,silent support.
People are always trying to,you know, offer advice.
(18:41):
Especially not peoplethat haven't even gone
through that.
They want to offer advice.
They want to see all sortsof things to you.
It's better to just show upat the person's house,
bring food, and just sit thereand observe what they need
and give it to them.
Don't ask them questions.
Don't offer advice.
Just be there and support insilence. Yeah, I so appreciate
(19:06):
that perspective.
I think it's so valuable becauseinstinctually I what I find
is so many people, you know,they want to fix it
with this idea that if I fix it,it'll be all better, right?
That's, that's going to make itgo away.
And sometimes for, for griefespecially, there's not really
a thing.
(19:27):
And what, again, what worksfor you or what you think
might be a good fix may not bewhat they actually need.
And so really kind of just beingthere and sitting there,
it sounds like if I'm hearingcorrectly, sitting there
with them through it andletting them take the lead
as far as what do they need,and really supporting in
(19:48):
that way and lettingyour, your ego in that instinct
to like put, insert yourselfinto kind of what you think
might, might be best kind oflet that go is that I would that
be an accurate wayto saying that?
Yes, exactly.
I mean, and those we're goingto need basic necessities,
right?
We're not going to be cookingfor ourselves.
(20:09):
We're not going to be.
So any like basic necessitiesthat you can offer is,
we think about those thingsyears and years later.
Wow. Yeah.
That's so powerful.
I appreciate you beingwilling to kind of, share that
piece of it and and sharekind of for you.
Maybe what would be helpful thatand maybe suggesting things
(20:32):
that people haven't alreadythought of.
So thank you so much for beingwilling to kind of share
that piece with ourlisteners here.
If I could I know itsounded like from that
experience and from that journeythat you had that very difficult
journey that you had towalk through it, it may be
shifted your perspective on thatidea of work first.
(20:55):
Did I hear that correctly? Yes.
Can you say a little bitmore about that?
Yes.
So I mean, now I havetwo children and I mean, I still
I still work every day.
I have a lot of stuff going on,but I've gotten myself
in a position where I havepeople managing, and then I
(21:16):
have people managingthe managers.
So I get a lot of phone calls.
I'm on the computer,but I'm always here.
I'm with my kids all the time,and now that they're
homeschooled, we're alwaystogether.
We're going on little vacationsand we just take our work
and our school with uswherever we go.
So that was that's the lifethat I manifested, and that's
what it's come out to.
(21:37):
And honestly, it's come outto a lot more than I
expected also.
So I'm very grateful.
Can you say more?
You said that you homeschool.
What?
Can you walk me through whatthe decision process was?
How did you come to thatdecision to homeschool them?
So every day, dropping offat school, I just had this
(21:59):
feeling in my chest like,this is wrong.
You know, I I'm separated fromtheir father, so there was
split custody at the time.
Then they go to schoolfor seven hours a day, and we
do homework.
So, like, my time with themwas just almost nothing.
Just made me feel sick everysingle day.
(22:20):
So I ended up, you know, onsocial media and stuff,
like following some homeschoolpeople.
And that was kind of likemy road down the rabbit hole.
Nobody in my familywas supportive of that.
At all.
They were very like, everyone'sgotta go to school.
That's the way.
And I have teachersin the family.
So like, there was I hadno support at all.
(22:41):
Everyone that I was absolutelycrazy.
So I ended up just pullingthe trigger with no support
and doing it.
And it's been the bestdecision of my life and my
one child that was threegrade levels behind is now
on target after herfirst year of homeschool, so
it was an early goodness.
Yeah.
(23:02):
And I think that's such adifferent shift because like
you said, maybe externallypeople have again, a lot of
opinions about how toraise children and what's
best for them.
And it sounds like for, foryour child that it, it really
suited them and actuallyhelped them achieve
all the things that theycould achieve.
(23:22):
And would that be an accuratestatement?
Exactly.
Plus the freedom I haveall my time back, like
in all of it.
So yeah, I'm so curious for youwhen you had that, like
feeling in your body that like,this doesn't feel right.
Was there something that maybelike an moment that helped
you realize what it wasthat you were responding to?
(23:46):
And I ask that because oftentimes, you know, when I
work with folks, just as asociety, I feel like we get
a lot of conditioning of just,oh, you know, do what
you need to do.
And we kind of forget about whatsignals our body is telling us
and what they're tryingto communicate.
Or, you know, so many timesthere's bad emotions versus
just honoring, like, hey,emotions are actually really
(24:07):
valuable.
Sometimes they're tryingto communicate a message to us.
And so I'm so curiousfor you, like, how did you
kind of draw that through lineand be able to connect to what
your body was telling you wasactually related to just
this value that you have isspending time with your
children and and reallythe importance of that.
(24:28):
I don't know what that isspecifically or if that's just
something that I have, but whenI have those, there's so strong
that they make me physicallysick.
I start having, like, physicalsymptoms, it doesn't go away
until I figure out what it is.
(24:48):
And so, like, I didn'tknow anything about home school
that wasn't that wasn't, like,triggering to me at first.
But I just knew thatthere had to be a way
where I could get my time back,and I just.
I don't think that it's right inany sort of biological way
for us to spend as much timeapart from our children
that we do, especially from sucha young age.
(25:10):
It's insane.
And it's normalized.
Yeah, absolutely.
And, and I think what youmentioned there, that
normalization piece of it,it absolutely is.
And it's not until you actuallylike, sit down and you crunch
the numbers that yourealize how, how many hours
they spend, like yousaid, a week from you.
And I can appreciate where, thatespecially with that shift,
(25:35):
it sounds like for you ofjust the importance and wanting
to be able to to be thereand absorb kind of every minute,
that that would make sense.
And that's like a logicalnext step.
I'm so curious.
Like I heard you mentioned,you know, when you were
researching and you werelooking at it, there wasn't
really support and there wasa lot of it sounds like
push back.
(25:57):
And you decided to stillkind of pull that trigger.
Did you notice, like, inimmediate, that feeling
went away when when you decidedto homeschool?
As soon as I signed them up,that feeling went away.
Wow.
So super, super meetinglike, yes, this is this is where
I was supposed to be going.
Yeah, exactly.
Because, at that point,especially seeing, like, how
(26:20):
their personalitieswere developing and stuff,
we're not raising them anymore.
We're just taking a part andraising them at that point
because they spend more hoursaway from us than they
do with us.
And that that just doesn't sitright with me.
Yeah.
Is there any again, I'm going togo back to any thoughts
or wisdoms that you would offer.
(26:40):
Anyone who is thinking aboutdoing homeschooling but similar
to you is getting a lotof pushback and a lot
of kind of, naysayers to that.
Anything that you would offer,maybe insights or, things
that you've learned thatmaybe helped make the journey
a little bit more manageablewithout that support?
Yeah.
So I think a lot of peoplehave the idea of homeschool,
(27:02):
where I'm the teacher and Ihave to come up with a
curriculum.
That's very traditionalhomeschool.
If you have the timeand the means to do that, that's
totally fine.
But there's actually a lot of,school districts that are
coming up with hybrid programs.
So you want to just like,dip your foot in the pool,
or you can try a hybrid programwhere they're being taught
(27:23):
by a teacher on zoom.
And then basically therest of it is just, you know,
guided homework to whereyou're not coming up with
lesson plans.
You're not like diving intothis whole world.
You're just able to have themput more and then you just,
you know, you have to haveyour laptop set up in a
little area and your suppliesand stuff like that.
But I think it's a, an easierof a step to take than
(27:43):
just diving into a traditionalhomeschool.
Okay.
And now so what program doyour children use currently?
We go to Sage Oak.
Okay.
And then, so, they do the hybridprogram.
So it's three days a week for,like 3.5 hours or so.
(28:05):
So, like nine hours a week ona laptop, and then the rest
is just independent study.
Gotcha.
Okay, so do your children.
I know one of the big thingsthat I heard, especially when
we had the pandemic, right,was that, oh, having your kids
on, on zoom, are they goingto get kind of the zoom fatigue,
if you will?
How do you manage childrenkind of in the screens
(28:26):
that much?
Did you notice any of thatwith your children?
Are there tips or tricksthat you you do to kind of help
mitigate some of that?
So the days are it helpsthat the days are shortened.
I'm not sure if during Covidthey were doing full seven hour
days or not, but alsoamidst Covid, everyone was
kind of locked in and we weren'tdoing anything in general.
(28:48):
Obviously, it's very importantthat if you're going to go down
that route, you need tohave times of socialization
at least you need to be ableto be going to the park more
because you do need tofulfill, like the physical
education portion.
But as long as they havea balance where they're
getting out of the houseand doing something, even if
it's free, like the park,like house will set up little
like random field tripsthroughout the year that we go
(29:11):
on, like educationalfield trips.
We go to the park a few timesa week.
We make sure that we havelittle co-ops and friends,
that they can, you know, have.
So it's very importantto maintain that social side.
And then I feel like itthat, you know, being cooped
up, feeling kind of goes away.
So I love those ideas andgetting creative, it sounds like
(29:33):
with how you're gettingthem out, how that socialization
and maybe even reachingthat physical education
credit as well.
But it doesn't necessarilyhave to be, oh, you know,
we're doing two years like youwould see it in the school
system necessarily.
Exactly. Yeah.
Awesome. Okay.
So as we wrap up here,one of the, questions that
(29:55):
I generally have to askfolks is, if I'm a big back
to the future fan.
So if you have access toa Delorean and could go back,
in the past, where you couldgo to yourself at a specific age
or a specific event and offeryourself something not to change
the past, but you know,whether it's offer yourself
(30:17):
some words or offeryourself even just a hug.
When would you go back towhat event or what age, and
what would you offer yourself?
Yeah.
I you said it.
Actually, I probably wouldn'tsay much to myself, because I
wouldn't want to change thetrajectory of how things have
(30:38):
worked out, but I would probablyjust give myself, And, yeah,
everything's going to work out,and everything's going to be
okay.
I don't self is even, like yousaid, even just a hug and
and just that reassurancesometimes is in reference when,
when you're in it and it feelslike that light at the end of
(30:58):
the tunnel is never goingto come.
Yeah.
When it does.
Yeah.
Well, I so appreciate you beingwilling to get vulnerable
with us and talk about,some of the things that maybe
our society likes to keepin the dark and not really
talk about.
And being willing to kind ofshare that, that story and help
(31:19):
normalize it.
These are these experiencesthat you've had or very much,
experiences that parentshave had, might have in
the future.
And so being willing to kindof share that I so appreciate,
you come in and joining us todayand sharing this recipe.
I'm excited for my, my big yeah,I really appreciate
you having me.
(31:39):
I had a lot of fun and Ihope this reaches someone
who needs it.
Yes. All right.
As we close out, I loveI think that all of us deserve
a seat at the table.
So I love shamelessplug section.
So tell us anybody who'slistening, how can they connect
with you?
What are your businesses,what services you offer
and what's the best way for,for anybody to to just network
(32:02):
with your connect?
So you can find, my Instagramor Facebook just by my first
and last name.
And then all of my salonsare located in Southern
California.
They're all linked on thosepages, so.
Okay.
And they're all dog groomingsalons, correct? Yes.
They're all dog grooming salons.
There's, Donny's followingCorona Temecula pet salon
(32:24):
and Temecula Fallbrookpet parlor.
And then the newest one is a dogwash in Winter Park.
Okay, awesome.
Which is a quick cycle.
How did you get into doggrooming? What?
What made you go there?
I was actually in that techschool, and I wanted to get
my foot in the doorsomewhere else, because that
(32:46):
was going to take me yearsto get through, and it was also
very expensive.
So I found a little holein the wall grooming school
in Buena Park.
And, you know, I ended uploving it so much.
I started a little side gigin my garage, and it just
completely blew up.
And then, yeah, one locationafter the next.
(33:07):
And then, I actually ended upbuying the school that I went
to recently and did do school.
So yeah.
Wow.
Well, congratulations.
That's amazing.
I'm so happy for you and allthe success, that you had there.
And I will make sure anyonewho is interested in connecting,
all of that will be inour show notes.
(33:28):
And make sure to check itout there.
Thank you again, Jamie,for being willing to,
talk with us.
And thank you, everyone,for listening.
We will see you next time.
If you or anyone that you knowis struggling with any of
the topics that we discussed intoday's episode, make sure
to check out our show notesfor support and resources.
(33:49):
You can get help.
So thanks again for joining uson today's episode of
The Real Family Eats.
If you're a parent readyto share your real life
parenting story, make sure toreach out to us and our website
found in the show notes.
And that goes for today's recipesocial media's support
and resources.
All of that can be foundin our show notes,
(34:11):
so make sure to check them outand make sure to follow, like,
share, subscribe, and stayup to date on all things
the real family.
I hope you'll join us next timefor more food for thought
and thoughtful food.
Enjoy your eats!
It kind of, backfired alittle bit because a lot of
people would say, well,you don't even look sad.
I haven't seen you cryin a long time.
And it's like, you have no ideaHey, everyone, thanks for
joining me.
My name is Reesa and I'myour host.
(00:22):
We are talking to real familiesabout real stories.
Here on the Real Family Eats.
Where we've got food for thoughtand thoughtful food.
So let's eat, Welcome back,everybody, to the real family.
(00:46):
eats.
I'm excited about today'sepisode.
And our guest the lovelyJamie is joining us.
Hi Jamie thank you so much forjoining us here today.
Hi, guys.
Thank you so much for having me.
Yes. All right.
For anybody who doesnot know you.
Can you introduce yourself forus today?
Yes.
So I am a mother of two anda business owner of four.
(01:10):
Oh my goodness.
So you've got your hands full,I imagine.
Yes, very much so.
Okay.
Well, I can't wait to heara little bit about,
the parenting journeythat you're, you're going
to share with us today.
I think that there'sa lot of value there, that
our parents will get atbefore we do that.
(01:31):
As always, you're going to sharea recipe with us,
and you've got.
We had a two for onetoday, folks.
So tell us, what recipeam I going to be making
and why did you choose this one?
So I chose bacon wrapped datescombined with, pickle
olive martinis.
And I chose this because ifthis were something that
I were making at home, it'sthe one meal that makes me feel
(01:55):
like I'm at a five star resort.
No matter where I'm at, I justautomatically feel like I'm
on vacation and extra fancy.
So that's why I chose that.
Yeah, and what I loveabout that is one of the
number one things I hearfrom parents all the time is
we're just so busy to kind oftake some time for ourselves
and have nice things again.
(02:17):
It's so few and far between,but I love that this is
something that folks could doright at home.
Without necessarily going onvacation and having to drag
all the kids with us, right?
Or leave them.
But that could still give youa little bit of a break.
Exactly.
A patio, a sunset, and thenyou're set for the night.
Perfect. Okay.
(02:39):
So if you could tell me, tell methe steps to the recipe,
and then I'll get mixingand making while we chat.
Okay.
Sounds good.
So we're going to first,are the dates pitted and cut?
If not we're going to go aheadand do that.
They are okay.
And then we are going to precook the bacon slightly.
(03:01):
Okay.
Okay.
We're going to do you want me todo it slowly or just
you can just give it all to meand then I'll I'll get moving.
Okay. Perfect.
And then we're going tostart the date.
So whether you have goat cheeseor cream cheese, whatever
your preference is we're goingto go ahead and stuff
those. Okay.
(03:22):
And then after that we're goingto wrap it in the bacon, put a,
toothpick in it just to kind ofkeep it in place.
And then we're going tomake them awesome.
And then how about the martini?
What are we doing there?
So the martini, obviouslyyou can use, gin, vodka,
whatever.
Your preferences for a base.
Then we're going to doa little bit of pickle juice,
(03:44):
a little bit of olive juice,and then we're going
to garnish with a pickle,an olive.
Perfect.
Well, I can absolutely do that.
And while I get moving, I knowyou mentioned, you know, you got
two kids and we were talking alittle bit before this,
that your journey to kind ofgetting there wasn't necessarily
(04:05):
super straightforward.
And there were some challengesthat you had.
So I love to kind of hear alittle bit more about your
experience and kind ofentering into, into parenthood
and what that look like for you.
And so I was, 20 years old.
I had just opened a brandnew business, a dog
(04:27):
grooming salon.
And so I had a lot on my plateat the time.
I was very young.
I was about to be a new mother.
I was a new business owner.
I had a lot of stuffgoing on for me at that point,
and my mindset was always justwork, work, work and you can't
work anymore.
And that's what life is.
Okay, so when I had my son,I was back to work within
(04:51):
four weeks after a C-section.
I was on the phone constantly,even throughout that break.
And it always felt wrong,very deep inside of me.
But I just didn't really knowany other way.
Okay.
When I lost my son in 2015,he was five months old
(05:13):
at the time.
Gave me a huge reality shiftthat I don't think
a lot of people had theopportunity to experience
that sort of reality shift,especially at that young
of an age.
And it just really mademe prioritize for the future.
So I knew that when I hadkids again, that I had to
(05:37):
take this time to buymy time back and make sure
that once I was ready to dothat again, that I would be able
to be home with them and spendtime with them because
life isn't about workingourselves to death.
So if it's okay with you,I would love to kind of take
a step back.
(05:57):
You mentioned that for you kindof work, work, work was was what
you knew, which kind ofhow you were living life
at that point.
Can you say a little bitmore about for you kind of
where did that was thatsomething that was modeled
for you, or how did thatkind of mindset come about
at the beginning?
Yeah.
So my mom is an entrepreneuras well.
(06:20):
And so my younger ages,my grandma watched me a lot.
So I knew that my mom workedreally hard and she was gone
a lot of the time.
And that was just kind ofthe mindset that was
modeled through my childhood.
And my parents.
Gotcha.
Okay, so for you like the idea,because I heard you mentioned
(06:41):
you said for weeks aftera C-section that you
return to work.
Yes.
Oh my goodness, I imaginethat was that's got to
be exhausting.
Well, I was young.
I had the energy.
I mean, doing somethinglike that now would be out of
the question.
But, for me, I was just so laserfocused on my business.
(07:02):
And then also, I didn'thave it set up in a way where
I could step back.
So when I did, there werea lot of fires to put out.
So I kind of felt obligatedto go back because it wasn't
set up correctly for meto leave.
So.
Gotcha. Okay.
And so when this happenedin this class, you know,
(07:25):
unimaginable.
What happened?
What and what came up for you,what was that like?
I can only imagine just, gosh,the amount of devastation
in that moment.
Yeah, I was, I was definitelyI was definitely in shock
for a few weeks.
There's a lot of, like,hazy moments and things that I
(07:47):
don't remember very clearlyabout that time.
But just every day,every moment, like, you just
wake up, your eyes open,and you're just in pain
immediately and just tearsand flooding immediately
from wake to sleep for, I mean,I don't even know how long.
And then having to deal with,you know, the funeral
(08:09):
and arrangement and then familyand then everyone else's pain on
top of that.
And then running a business.
I don't, I don't know,I don't know how I got
through it.
I think I was just existingthrough it, to be honest.
Wow. Yeah.
And I think you make such a,a point that maybe, you know,
(08:29):
people don't think about is thatit doesn't just stop there, that
there are so many other things,like you said, other people's
pain and grief that maybethey're coming to you
and expressing and havingto deal with the logistics.
And on top of it, you know,you're dealing with you've got
a business, which I imagineat that point in time was
your way of, you know,putting food on the table.
(08:52):
Would that be a fair statement?
Exactly. Yes.
Yeah.
And so, I mean, how do youhow do you manage all of that?
How did you get to theother side of that?
I think by just puttinglaser focus into positive things
because obviously it's very easyto go down a rabbit
(09:14):
hole of like, you know,partying or drug use or,
you know, other thingslike that.
But if you can put all of thatpain and energy into making
a better life for yourself,which obviously is easier said
than done.
But all that energy needs togo somewhere, so channeling it
into something positive I thinkis really the only way out.
(09:37):
Was there something for youthat that kind of helped you,
or that you, you in particularkind of channeled that energy
into, mine was work becausethat's all I really had
at the time.
I just, I knew I my focuswas just on my next life is
(10:00):
going to be exactly the wayI want it, and I'm going to
make that and manifestthat into every single day.
So it was really justputting all my focus into like,
I mean, I went back into thingslike I went into my time,
I was going to the gymconstantly.
I really enjoy singing.
I feel like, the frequency, likethe frequency that happens
(10:23):
when you're singing is very,very healing.
So just like personal hobbiesand little things, on the side.
And then, like I said,just diving into work.
Yeah.
Were there any of those?
Because it sounds like you,you had multiple, maybe coping
tools that you went to thatyou used in your toolbox?
(10:43):
Was there anything whether it's,it's there or other people
or support groups oranything else like that,
that for you just really,was helpful in your
healing journey because Ifeel like so many times
people say, you know, oh,with grief especially.
Oh, it just takes time.
(11:05):
And we kind of stop there.
There's not necessarilytoo much more as to like
what really did help.
Did anything help, or was itjust kind of a grin and bear it
until it's a little bit lighter?
No.
So, I think I unintentionallycreated some tools for myself.
And I'm not against, therapy or,you know, going to talk to
(11:29):
someone at all.
It just didn't work for mebecause I would go to the group,
I would go to the groups.
And a lot of my parents wereexperiencing things like,
since and, you know, accidentalthings.
Mine was just a it wasit's just a different story.
So even in those groups,I would tell my story
(11:50):
and everyone would stop and bewide eyed and be staring at me.
And I was supposed to not feellike an alien in those
situations, and I still did.
And then I would go seea psychiatrist psychologist,
and I literally have toget up and go hand them tissues
because they're crying.
So I, I mean, I tried 3 or 4psychiatrist psychologists.
(12:12):
I tried a few groups.
It just wasn't for me.
It was better for me to healon my own.
But a couple thingsthat I did do was
the first thing was, you know,obviously being a business
owner or just, you know,having to live life in general,
you can't be a messall the time.
You have to have a toolwhere you can kind of
bring yourself togetherand compose yourself.
(12:33):
So me in the car or when I hadprivate time, I would play music
that would remind me of himand I would just cry and
I would get everything out,and I would just allow myself
to feel every emotion.
But when the car stoppedand the music turned off
and I had to walk in somewhere,or I had to talk, some talk
to someone, I, over timetrain myself to shut it off
(12:56):
in that moment.
So that allowed meto kind of gain a sense
of control where I wasn't justshoving it down and not
allowing it to come out.
But I wasn't just, you know,breaking down every single
moment of my life.
And I was able to functionthat way.
It kind of, it kind of,backfired a little bit because a
lot of people would say, well,you don't even look sad.
(13:18):
I haven't seen you cryin a long time.
And it's like, you have no idea,but I would.
I just learned to control itover time by shutting it off
and allowing my talent my timein, in private.
Yeah.
When you say it kind ofbackfired, was it like
a backfire?
Because then people maybe thendidn't extend any empathy
(13:41):
or compassion because they'relooking at you and saying,
oh, well, you know, she must beover at we're going to go
or can you say a little bit moreabout that?
Yeah, exactly.
So people would just call melike Non-Emotional or that
I didn't care, or that maybeI must have had something
to do with it, like just allkinds of things, because I
(14:01):
was in a mess in public,or around people, as much as
I should have been or something,I don't know, but that was
just me trying to gaincontrol of my life, and people
didn't see what I was goingthrough at night or in the car
or any other time.
So, I'm glad that narrativepeople having that narrative,
because I had to do what I hadto do to get out of that.
(14:23):
And I don't need to explainanything to anyone, but that is
one of the things that happenedbecause of that. Yeah.
And I hear you saying,you kind of you, you know,
you were giving peoplethey were free to kind of
have their own thoughtsand their own opinions,
and you needed to kind offocus on you and your healing
and whatever that look like.
(14:44):
I imagine that doesn'tnecessarily have those
those words and those thoughtsand those rumors and opinions
kind of flying aroundmake it any less hurtful,
when you're already tryingto just move through
it and survive.
Yeah.
I mean, now now I, I can see theperspective clear as day.
(15:05):
But back then, in the midstof that, yeah, those comments
killed me.
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
And I'm so sorry that that wasyour experience.
Because in those moments withsuch grief, I think what you
mentioned there, findingwhat works for you is
so important because whatworks for one person isn't going
(15:26):
to fit the next person.
We're such unique individuals.
And to kind of expectone person's grief
to look exactly the sameas someone else's is, is really
unfair.
And unrealistic.
Yeah.
And yeah, and then measuringthat to how the person actually
feels inside is absolutelycrazy.
But yeah, none of those peoplehave gone through that, that are
(15:47):
judging things like that.
People that have gone throughthat are non-judgmental
too, however you're acting.
So yeah.
And what I really appreciatedthat you said is that for you,
you know, you had realitiesof having to show up
for business and, and run that.
And it would, I imagine,be debilitating if you
didn't have some of thoseboundaries of like,
(16:10):
you know, okay, I have this carride, right?
To kind of feel whateverI want to feel whatever
comes up, I'm goingto let it come.
And then once this, this partis done or and, you know,
I shut off the music that, thatthat's my boundary that
I'm drawing becauserealistically, I need to
step into the spaceand I need to to be a business
owner.
(16:30):
Yeah, exactly.
And I mean, the triggerswere just nonstop.
I mean, I was the face ofthat business.
And so 3000 clients knew I justhad a baby.
So every single one wascoming in.
How's the baby?
How's the baby?
Wow.
100 times a day.
And so the triggers wereeverywhere.
So if I didn't learn tocompose myself, like I would,
(16:53):
I would have been gone.
Yeah. Oh, gosh.
I couldn't imagine,like you said, just over
and over and over,some of those, those questions.
And to have something that'sso personal and so private,
kind of being thepublic eye, for lack of a
better way of kindof saying that I have
some of that, I think forlike six months I would say,
(17:17):
oh, he's good, he's good.
And then one of my groomersput her hand on me afterwards,
and she looked at meand she goes, what are you
going to say in nine yearsthat he's in baseball?
And I said, I was like, it wasit was harsh to hear that,
but I was like, I was like,you're right.
And then that was a new phase.
And it was now every singleperson who asked and who has
(17:39):
been asking me for the lastcouple months, I now
have to like kind ofsay something to them so that
this line doesn't,like, continue.
So then there was thatphase of it and yeah, yeah,
gosh, if I could I'm goingto grab my child.
I'm ready to pour my, mymy drinking, grab my glass
over here.
(18:00):
I wanted to ask because Ihear you saying some of what
you experienced that maybewasn't as helpful in your
grieving process.
Is there anything for anybodylistening that maybe has has a
loved one, a friend, whomeverthat might be going through
something like this or will inthe future that you could offer
(18:21):
them?
What would have been morehelpful for you, that people
could have offered supportthat they could have extended
to you during this time?
I would say silence.
I mean the silent,silent support.
People are always trying to,you know, offer advice.
(18:41):
Especially not peoplethat haven't even gone
through that.
They want to offer advice.
They want to see all sortsof things to you.
It's better to just show upat the person's house,
bring food, and just sit thereand observe what they need
and give it to them.
Don't ask them questions.
Don't offer advice.
Just be there and support insilence. Yeah, I so appreciate
(19:06):
that perspective.
I think it's so valuable becauseinstinctually I what I find
is so many people, you know,they want to fix it
with this idea that if I fix it,it'll be all better, right?
That's, that's going to make itgo away.
And sometimes for, for griefespecially, there's not really
a thing.
(19:27):
And what, again, what worksfor you or what you think
might be a good fix may not bewhat they actually need.
And so really kind of just beingthere and sitting there,
it sounds like if I'm hearingcorrectly, sitting there
with them through it andletting them take the lead
as far as what do they need,and really supporting in
(19:48):
that way and lettingyour, your ego in that instinct
to like put, insert yourselfinto kind of what you think
might, might be best kind oflet that go is that I would that
be an accurate wayto saying that?
Yes, exactly.
I mean, and those we're goingto need basic necessities,
right?
We're not going to be cookingfor ourselves.
(20:09):
We're not going to be.
So any like basic necessitiesthat you can offer is,
we think about those thingsyears and years later.
Wow. Yeah.
That's so powerful.
I appreciate you beingwilling to kind of, share that
piece of it and and sharekind of for you.
Maybe what would be helpful thatand maybe suggesting things
(20:32):
that people haven't alreadythought of.
So thank you so much for beingwilling to kind of share
that piece with ourlisteners here.
If I could I know itsounded like from that
experience and from that journeythat you had that very difficult
journey that you had towalk through it, it may be
shifted your perspective on thatidea of work first.
(20:55):
Did I hear that correctly? Yes.
Can you say a little bitmore about that?
Yes.
So I mean, now I havetwo children and I mean, I still
I still work every day.
I have a lot of stuff going on,but I've gotten myself
in a position where I havepeople managing, and then I
(21:16):
have people managingthe managers.
So I get a lot of phone calls.
I'm on the computer,but I'm always here.
I'm with my kids all the time,and now that they're
homeschooled, we're alwaystogether.
We're going on little vacationsand we just take our work
and our school with uswherever we go.
So that was that's the lifethat I manifested, and that's
what it's come out to.
(21:37):
And honestly, it's come outto a lot more than I
expected also.
So I'm very grateful.
Can you say more?
You said that you homeschool.
What?
Can you walk me through whatthe decision process was?
How did you come to thatdecision to homeschool them?
So every day, dropping offat school, I just had this
(21:59):
feeling in my chest like,this is wrong.
You know, I I'm separated fromtheir father, so there was
split custody at the time.
Then they go to schoolfor seven hours a day, and we
do homework.
So, like, my time with themwas just almost nothing.
Just made me feel sick everysingle day.
(22:20):
So I ended up, you know, onsocial media and stuff,
like following some homeschoolpeople.
And that was kind of likemy road down the rabbit hole.
Nobody in my familywas supportive of that.
At all.
They were very like, everyone'sgotta go to school.
That's the way.
And I have teachersin the family.
So like, there was I hadno support at all.
(22:41):
Everyone that I was absolutelycrazy.
So I ended up just pullingthe trigger with no support
and doing it.
And it's been the bestdecision of my life and my
one child that was threegrade levels behind is now
on target after herfirst year of homeschool, so
it was an early goodness.
Yeah.
(23:02):
And I think that's such adifferent shift because like
you said, maybe externallypeople have again, a lot of
opinions about how toraise children and what's
best for them.
And it sounds like for, foryour child that it, it really
suited them and actuallyhelped them achieve
all the things that theycould achieve.
(23:22):
And would that be an accuratestatement?
Exactly.
Plus the freedom I haveall my time back, like
in all of it.
So yeah, I'm so curious for youwhen you had that, like
feeling in your body that like,this doesn't feel right.
Was there something that maybelike an moment that helped
you realize what it wasthat you were responding to?
(23:46):
And I ask that because oftentimes, you know, when I
work with folks, just as asociety, I feel like we get
a lot of conditioning of just,oh, you know, do what
you need to do.
And we kind of forget about whatsignals our body is telling us
and what they're tryingto communicate.
Or, you know, so many timesthere's bad emotions versus
just honoring, like, hey,emotions are actually really
(24:07):
valuable.
Sometimes they're tryingto communicate a message to us.
And so I'm so curiousfor you, like, how did you
kind of draw that through lineand be able to connect to what
your body was telling you wasactually related to just
this value that you have isspending time with your
children and and reallythe importance of that.
(24:28):
I don't know what that isspecifically or if that's just
something that I have, but whenI have those, there's so strong
that they make me physicallysick.
I start having, like, physicalsymptoms, it doesn't go away
until I figure out what it is.
(24:48):
And so, like, I didn'tknow anything about home school
that wasn't that wasn't, like,triggering to me at first.
But I just knew thatthere had to be a way
where I could get my time back,and I just.
I don't think that it's right inany sort of biological way
for us to spend as much timeapart from our children
that we do, especially from sucha young age.
(25:10):
It's insane.
And it's normalized.
Yeah, absolutely.
And, and I think what youmentioned there, that
normalization piece of it,it absolutely is.
And it's not until you actuallylike, sit down and you crunch
the numbers that yourealize how, how many hours
they spend, like yousaid, a week from you.
And I can appreciate where, thatespecially with that shift,
(25:35):
it sounds like for you ofjust the importance and wanting
to be able to to be thereand absorb kind of every minute,
that that would make sense.
And that's like a logicalnext step.
I'm so curious.
Like I heard you mentioned,you know, when you were
researching and you werelooking at it, there wasn't
really support and there wasa lot of it sounds like
push back.
(25:57):
And you decided to stillkind of pull that trigger.
Did you notice, like, inimmediate, that feeling
went away when when you decidedto homeschool?
As soon as I signed them up,that feeling went away.
Wow.
So super, super meetinglike, yes, this is this is where
I was supposed to be going.
Yeah, exactly.
Because, at that point,especially seeing, like, how
(26:20):
their personalitieswere developing and stuff,
we're not raising them anymore.
We're just taking a part andraising them at that point
because they spend more hoursaway from us than they
do with us.
And that that just doesn't sitright with me.
Yeah.
Is there any again, I'm going togo back to any thoughts
or wisdoms that you would offer.
(26:40):
Anyone who is thinking aboutdoing homeschooling but similar
to you is getting a lotof pushback and a lot
of kind of, naysayers to that.
Anything that you would offer,maybe insights or, things
that you've learned thatmaybe helped make the journey
a little bit more manageablewithout that support?
Yeah.
So I think a lot of peoplehave the idea of homeschool,
(27:02):
where I'm the teacher and Ihave to come up with a
curriculum.
That's very traditionalhomeschool.
If you have the timeand the means to do that, that's
totally fine.
But there's actually a lot of,school districts that are
coming up with hybrid programs.
So you want to just like,dip your foot in the pool,
or you can try a hybrid programwhere they're being taught
(27:23):
by a teacher on zoom.
And then basically therest of it is just, you know,
guided homework to whereyou're not coming up with
lesson plans.
You're not like diving intothis whole world.
You're just able to have themput more and then you just,
you know, you have to haveyour laptop set up in a
little area and your suppliesand stuff like that.
But I think it's a, an easierof a step to take than
(27:43):
just diving into a traditionalhomeschool.
Okay.
And now so what program doyour children use currently?
We go to Sage Oak.
Okay.
And then, so, they do the hybridprogram.
So it's three days a week for,like 3.5 hours or so.
(28:05):
So, like nine hours a week ona laptop, and then the rest
is just independent study.
Gotcha.
Okay, so do your children.
I know one of the big thingsthat I heard, especially when
we had the pandemic, right,was that, oh, having your kids
on, on zoom, are they goingto get kind of the zoom fatigue,
if you will?
How do you manage childrenkind of in the screens
(28:26):
that much?
Did you notice any of thatwith your children?
Are there tips or tricksthat you you do to kind of help
mitigate some of that?
So the days are it helpsthat the days are shortened.
I'm not sure if during Covidthey were doing full seven hour
days or not, but alsoamidst Covid, everyone was
kind of locked in and we weren'tdoing anything in general.
(28:48):
Obviously, it's very importantthat if you're going to go down
that route, you need tohave times of socialization
at least you need to be ableto be going to the park more
because you do need tofulfill, like the physical
education portion.
But as long as they havea balance where they're
getting out of the houseand doing something, even if
it's free, like the park,like house will set up little
like random field tripsthroughout the year that we go
(29:11):
on, like educationalfield trips.
We go to the park a few timesa week.
We make sure that we havelittle co-ops and friends,
that they can, you know, have.
So it's very importantto maintain that social side.
And then I feel like itthat, you know, being cooped
up, feeling kind of goes away.
So I love those ideas andgetting creative, it sounds like
(29:33):
with how you're gettingthem out, how that socialization
and maybe even reachingthat physical education
credit as well.
But it doesn't necessarilyhave to be, oh, you know,
we're doing two years like youwould see it in the school
system necessarily.
Exactly. Yeah.
Awesome. Okay.
So as we wrap up here,one of the, questions that
(29:55):
I generally have to askfolks is, if I'm a big back
to the future fan.
So if you have access toa Delorean and could go back,
in the past, where you couldgo to yourself at a specific age
or a specific event and offeryourself something not to change
the past, but you know,whether it's offer yourself
(30:17):
some words or offeryourself even just a hug.
When would you go back towhat event or what age, and
what would you offer yourself?
Yeah.
I you said it.
Actually, I probably wouldn'tsay much to myself, because I
wouldn't want to change thetrajectory of how things have
(30:38):
worked out, but I would probablyjust give myself, And, yeah,
everything's going to work out,and everything's going to be
okay.
I don't self is even, like yousaid, even just a hug and
and just that reassurancesometimes is in reference when,
when you're in it and it feelslike that light at the end of
(30:58):
the tunnel is never goingto come.
Yeah.
When it does.
Yeah.
Well, I so appreciate you beingwilling to get vulnerable
with us and talk about,some of the things that maybe
our society likes to keepin the dark and not really
talk about.
And being willing to kind ofshare that, that story and help
(31:19):
normalize it.
These are these experiencesthat you've had or very much,
experiences that parentshave had, might have in
the future.
And so being willing to kindof share that I so appreciate,
you come in and joining us todayand sharing this recipe.
I'm excited for my, my big yeah,I really appreciate
you having me.
(31:39):
I had a lot of fun and Ihope this reaches someone
who needs it.
Yes. All right.
As we close out, I loveI think that all of us deserve
a seat at the table.
So I love shamelessplug section.
So tell us anybody who'slistening, how can they connect
with you?
What are your businesses,what services you offer
and what's the best way for,for anybody to to just network
(32:02):
with your connect?
So you can find, my Instagramor Facebook just by my first
and last name.
And then all of my salonsare located in Southern
California.
They're all linked on thosepages, so.
Okay.
And they're all dog groomingsalons, correct? Yes.
They're all dog grooming salons.
There's, Donny's followingCorona Temecula pet salon
(32:24):
and Temecula Fallbrookpet parlor.
And then the newest one is a dogwash in Winter Park.
Okay, awesome.
Which is a quick cycle.
How did you get into doggrooming? What?
What made you go there?
I was actually in that techschool, and I wanted to get
my foot in the doorsomewhere else, because that
(32:46):
was going to take me yearsto get through, and it was also
very expensive.
So I found a little holein the wall grooming school
in Buena Park.
And, you know, I ended uploving it so much.
I started a little side gigin my garage, and it just
completely blew up.
And then, yeah, one locationafter the next.
(33:07):
And then, I actually ended upbuying the school that I went
to recently and did do school.
So yeah.
Wow.
Well, congratulations.
That's amazing.
I'm so happy for you and allthe success, that you had there.
And I will make sure anyonewho is interested in connecting,
all of that will be inour show notes.
(33:28):
And make sure to check itout there.
Thank you again, Jamie,for being willing to,
talk with us.
And thank you, everyone,for listening.
We will see you next time.
If you or anyone that you knowis struggling with any of
the topics that we discussed intoday's episode, make sure
to check out our show notesfor support and resources.
(33:49):
You can get help.
So thanks again for joining uson today's episode of
The Real Family Eats.
If you're a parent readyto share your real life
parenting story, make sure toreach out to us and our website
found in the show notes.
And that goes for today's recipesocial media's support
and resources.
All of that can be foundin our show notes,
(34:11):
so make sure to check them outand make sure to follow, like,
share, subscribe, and stayup to date on all things
the real family.
I hope you'll join us next timefor more food for thought
and thoughtful food.
Enjoy your eats!
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