July 9, 2024 • 28 mins
Bunny talks with Lyn Carpenter about Equine Gestalt Coaching and how it is changing lives in Santa Fe. Lyn is a caring compassionate person who shares her love for people and New Mexico (especially the sunsets) through her work with horses. Find more about Lyn at the links below.
Links
Blisful Heart Coaching
Follow Lyn on Instagram
I Love New Mexico blog page
Bunny’s website
I Love New Mexico Instagram
I Love New Mexico Facebook
Original Music by: Kene Terry
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Bunny (00:00):
Hi there. I'm Bunny Terry , and I'm the host of the
I Love New Mexico podcast. Wetalk about everything here.
There are no boundaries. Wetalk to people who are from all
corners of the state, peoplewho are chefs, who are
tourists, who are artists, whoare Chamber of Commerce
(00:21):
executives, and who are fromranch families that have been
here for hundreds of years. NewMexico is enchanting, and it's
interesting, and I, I can'tbelieve I get to do this job.
New Mexico is so amazing, and Iinvite you to come along for
the ride on the I Love of NewMexico podcast. Thanks for
(00:42):
being here. I'm so excited onthe, I love New Mexico podcast.
Today we have my, I, I feellike relatively new friend,
Lynn Carpenter and Lynn livesin Santa Fe , um, volunteers
her time for a number ofcauses, but spends the bulk of
(01:02):
her time helping others , um,in her profession and in her
personal life. So Lynn , I'm sohappy that you're on the
podcast and I want folks tohear who you are and what you
do. So welcome.
Lyn (01:15):
Thank you, Bunny. I'm thrilled to be here. Thank you
for the opportunity, .
Bunny (01:21):
I just, I love, so the way that this came about is
that Lynn commented on a postthat I put on about , um,
stepping Down as the boardchair, the Cancer Foundation,
and she made a comment and Ithought, you know, sometimes
this just comes to you. Uh , wedo this. So there are no
boundaries in the, I love NewMexico podcast in terms of the
(01:41):
topics that we talk about, butsometimes I see somebody online
and I think that is somebodythat the rest of New Mexico
needs to know about. So, Lyn, Iwanna hear, what are , are you
a new Mexican by birth? What,if not, what brought you here
and what are you doing withyour time now?
Lyn (02:00):
Oh my gosh, I wish I were a New Mexican by birth. The
first time my husband Brian andI came to Santa Fe was in 2006,
and it was over Christmas. Wehad , um, our two sons who
were, one was a freshman incollege and one was a junior in
high school. So we were gonnago skiing at Pagosa Springs and
(02:22):
decided to spend Christmas inSanta Fe. There was so much
snow on the ground that year,and it was gorgeous, and, And
it was love at first sight. Um,and so literally we have been
coming almost annually, since2016. And then, oh gosh, a
(02:44):
while, probably 12 years ago,my husband had started a new
job. We always came for a week,the first week in August to
escape the Dallas-Fort Worthheat. And my husband said, I
can't take a full week. I'vejust started this new job. So
he came in and flew home , um,after the weekend, and I had
(03:06):
rented this little casita kindof in between the plaza and the
rail yard district. I walkedeverywhere. I did a yoga and
painting retreat all in one .
Wow. I met some amazing women,and there is nothing like
experiencing a place on foot.
(03:28):
It's one thing to be in a car,but to walk. And, and I walked
everywhere and I just got sucha feel for the culture and the
vibe here. And I went home andI announced to Brian, I don't
know about you, but I'mretiring in Santa Fe. And he
said, well, I guess I'mretiring in Santa Fe.
So that's, that's a kind of howwe got here. Um, the following
(03:53):
year I had saved all theseZillow listings, not that we
were ready to purchaseanything, but I, we wanted to
get a feel for what parts ofSanta Fe could we have courses
. And , um, anyway, long story.
We, and I'll , I'll break itdown, but , um, we looked at
all these places and , um, myhusband loved , um, this
(04:17):
specific area and kind ofnorthwest Santa Fe and he said,
let's build. And I said, no,that's crazy. And so anyway, he
said, just humor me . We found,we found a piece of land and
the sellers came out to meetus. We instantly connected with
(04:37):
them. They're mutual friends ofours, Bunny John and Lynn
Arnold. So we immediatelyconnected with them. And , um,
I had told my husband the nightbefore, the only way I'd build
is if we could build a homewith a central court courtyard.
So John and Lynn are walking usaround the property, showing us
(04:59):
the, you know, the beautiful, Imean, 360 degree views. And
John said, well, we were gonnabuild here, but we don't need
12 acres. So we, but we weregonna put a home with the
central courtyard on it. AndBrian went, what? Oh my gosh,
that's kismet. So we went totheir office, he gave us the
plans , and , um, we ended upbuying the land in 2015. Um,
(05:25):
sat on it for a few years, andfinally my husband said, if we
don't build now, we're gonnaget priced out. So we built
now, and we weren't ready tolive here full time . We were
going back and forth betweenDallas-Fort Worth because of my
husband's job. And then Covidhit, and like so many people ,
um, he's now able to work fromhome. And he said, Hey guys,
(05:47):
you know, I have a home inSanta Fe. I can just as easily
work from Santa Fe as I canhere. And they said , do it. So
that is definitely a silverlining , uh, for us, for Covid
.
Bunny (06:00):
And then you came here and is this is what you do now
new, or were you doing thatwhere you were before?
Lyn (06:08):
Interestingly, I got my certification. So I am
certified in a coaching methodcalled the Equine Geal Coaching
Method. Um, it's based ongestalt, which is a therapeutic
modality. It's a German word,and the closest English
translation is wholeness. SoGestalt says , we all have
(06:29):
these countless parts ofourselves, but some are really
known and others not so much.
Good girls don't behave likethat. And there are parts of
ourselves that we've learnedthrough social conditioning to,
to put what I call in theshadow. And Gestalt says, no,
we need all of those parts tobe whole worthy individuals.
(06:52):
And , um, I immediately , um,just connected. I have had a
lifelong passion for personalhealing, personal development.
And when I found this program,it combined my passion for
healing and my passion forhorses. And I was all in , um,
it was a two year program, veryintense. Um, and I got my
(07:17):
certification in 2018, and weliterally moved into this home
Labor Day weekend of 2018. Anda couple weeks later in
September, I got mycertification. So it all kind
of dovetailed how the timingworked out.
Bunny (07:34):
That's so exciting.
And, and when , um, say you are, um, uh, it's women, right?
It's you , you
Lyn (07:43):
Work Yes, mainly women.
I've , I've worked with somemen, but it's mainly women.
Bunny (07:49):
And so if somebody , um, how does it work in
practical terms?
Lyn (07:55):
So horses are prey animals, and that means they're
in the food chain. And theirspecies has survived for over 2
million years, I believe, asprey animals , um, without
being eaten. So their abilityto read the energetic field has
kept that species alive. Theyknow, okay, the mountain lions
(08:18):
up there sleeping, but thesecond he kind of wakes up
those horses know it andthey're out. Um, so what my ,
the founder of our program, hername is Melissa Pierce, she is
a lifelong horse woman and also, um, a 40 plus year therapist.
And she had a home inFlagstaff, lived in Phoenix,
(08:42):
but spent her summers inFlagstaff to escape the heat.
And so she'd bring her coachingcounseling clients up to her
ranch for long intensiveweekends. And she had one rule,
don't go on the same side ofthe fence as my horses , but
she said, inevitably she'd seepeople at the fence and the hor
there would always be a horsethere. And she said, they're
(09:04):
standing in knee deep grass. Soshe said, if it was one horse,
I would've not even thoughtabout it. But she said it was
almost like, Hey, I got thatone yesterday. This one's
yours. And she said she noticedin her afternoon sessions with
these clients, they were muchmore accessible to her
counseling after being with thehorse. So this was
(09:27):
pre-internet, and she decidedto start playing with it and
started asking clients if theywould get in her round pin with
her horses. And what shediscovered was incredible.
Sometimes they would Panama,sometimes they would work
energetically on a client. Andshe just really started this
(09:48):
practice. And , um, before sheknew it, people were saying,
can you create something toteach this method to us? And
um, so horses, I have threeright now. I have one that's a
, a boundary teacher. Like heloves to get in people's
personal space, and horses arebig. So you , you know,
(10:11):
, they're big. So he's great atteaching boundaries. Um, and a
lot of women in particular haveweak boundaries. Um, I'm sure
that's not news to you, but No , no , no , no . It's
absolutely cost me a lot ofheartache in my lifetime.
Exactly. So, so strongboundaries are something that
(10:34):
are just imperative to reallyliving authentically. Um, I
have another horse that's anenergy healer, and she , um,
she'll just hone in on someone.
I have a perfect example and abeautiful picture of this, but
, um, I did an event calledCowgirls Horses and sunsets
(10:56):
last summer, and my horse fancy, um, honed in on this woman. I
think there were 10 people inthe circle. It was a pretty
large circle. And she honed inon this woman and just went
right to her during themeditation and just had her
nose on her head and her eyesgo half masked , and it's the
most beautiful thing. She musthave spent 15 minutes just
(11:21):
connecting with that woman. Andit was the most beautiful
thing. Everyone in the circlewas just in awe of it. Um, and
then I have crush who's just agoofball. He's the horse I
ride, and he's funny and heloves to make people laugh. And
, um, they, they bring so muchto the coaching practice. I'm
(11:44):
someone who has done years andyears and years and years of
counseling on the couch. Um,and you know, I , when I
experienced this equine gestaltmethod, I was blown away one
session with a gifted coach anda horse, something that I had
talked in therapy about for 20plus years gone. It was, I was
(12:09):
done, it was, it was over. So,wow , the,
Bunny (12:16):
So it's less about riding and more about
interacting.
Lyn (12:20):
It's all on the ground.
It's ev so you don't need tohave horse experience. You,
most people that come out lovehorses, some have zero horse
experience, have never beenaround them before in their
lives, and others have beenlifelong horsewomen. Um, but
there is just something I, theirony of the horses. And when I
(12:44):
go into a session with someone,I never know what they're going
to reveal to me. But oftentimesI take my cues and how I coach
from the horse most of thetime, not just oftentimes
. Um, yeah, it's, it'samazing. That's so
Bunny (13:02):
Interesting. I mean, I'll, I'll be really honest, I
have a a , I mean, like manypeople I suspect have a little
bit of a, a fear of being alonewith the horse because even
though I grew up on a farm inthe country, in a rural
environment all my life, theonly horse we ever owned in our
family was a really mean littleShetland pony that
Lyn (13:26):
Threw me .
Bunny (13:28):
And I'm like, they're so big. They take up so much
space. I don't have , um, themost positive experience with
horses. So I, I would suspectthat happens on occasion too,
that , I mean, it's not likeI'm fearful, like I won't be in
the same space with them, butI'm very , um, uneasy around
(13:48):
horses. Does that happen?
Lyn (13:50):
Oh , uh, yes, it does happen. I always have a handler
present in my session. So thatis someone who's focused on the
horse so that I don't have tobreak contact with the client
in front of me. I can focus onthe client. And the handler's
role is to make sure theclient's comfortable. Some
people may not be happy orcomfortable sitting in a
(14:13):
meditation with the horse,having their nose on their
forehead, standing above this . When you were
Bunny (14:19):
Talking about that, I was like, Ooh . I was sort of,
my brain was scrunching up itfelt like, because I was like,
Hmm , I don't know. I mean,
Lyn (14:27):
I bet
Bunny (14:28):
I would, I would trust your processes, absolutely. But
I suspect there are people who, um, who might find that a
little daunting.
Lyn (14:36):
Of course, yes. I , um, I do a safety demo at the
beginning of every session, andI tell them, you know, about
how to be safe around a horse.
And , um, and I also say, if atany point you're uncomfortable
with where the horse is, justlet the handler know and, and
(14:59):
she'll move the horse back. Um,so, so it's, we're very, very
safe about how this is done.
Um, I never just get in a roundpin with a client and a horse.
I've always got a handlerpresent. So , um, and a lot of
people, bunny are afraid ofhorses, but they wanna get over
(15:21):
that fear. And so they comeand, and work with us. And when
I first got my certification, Iworked with a woman who was
deathly afraid of horses, andshe had reason to be her mother
had a very tragic accident on ahorse. Um, but then her
daughter decided she was horsecrazy , and she wanted to
(15:43):
support her daughter's passion,but was, I mean, just
terrified, terrified,terrified. And so we worked
together in privately , um,and, and she would, we would
monitor her pulse on her applewatch. And, and it was because
it was, it was like, okay, weneed to back up. And, and, and
(16:05):
so we pushed, we worked withher, her comfort zone of where,
where did she feel safe? And itwas really, really neat to see
her progress and be able to petthe horses. And, and after one
session, she jokingly said,okay, I'm ready for a horse. Is
that too quick? And I'm like,yeah, probably. So Wow.
(16:27):
Wow. That's a breakthrough. Andand do you work with clients
primarily alone or they, or ingroups? How does it work?
Either, both. Um, my, I , Ilove groups. I love the dynamic
of a group. I love one-on-onesas well. There's something,
gestalt is very experiexperimental. So what that
(16:49):
means is , say Gestalt says ,we all have unfinished business
from our past that plays in aloop in our minds that really
prevents us from being fullypresent in the here and now,
and life is happening in thehere and now. So when we have
all of this unfinished businessthat we're looping on , um, it
(17:11):
really, it we gestalt I can setup an experiment to take that
person back to that point intheir life where they have the
unfinished business and givethem an opportunity to say what
they wish they could have said.
And, and it wasn't taught to methis way, but I do a lot of ,
(17:35):
um, learning and studying onneuroplasticity and which is
the brain, and we have theseneural pathways, and , and
that's what the loop is. It's aneural pathway that we keep
walking down. I think of itlike a , a trail that you
always take and the grass getsworn down. And, and that's
what's happening in our brain.
(17:55):
Well, with Gestalt, we cancreate an experiment to take a
person back to that place. Andwhat I see, and again, Melissa
May scold me for this, but , what I see is that
it's, we're we're just layingdown the start of a new neural
pathway when someone can goback and complete that
(18:19):
unfinished business. So if ,um, in a group, I can bring the
group participants in to theexperiment so I can have
someone step in as mom orwhoever the, the person, the
perpetrator or whatever, I canhave a person step in and play
(18:43):
that role. And, and it's soneat in a group, sometimes we
do what's called a familysculpture where I take someone
back to 12 years old and whereif, if this were a sculpture of
your family, how would mom bepositioned? Where would dad be?
Who are the siblings? And I canget everybody in the group
(19:07):
involved in this person's pieceof work. And bunny it is, I
have goosebumps. It's magic.
Bunny (19:15):
I can't imagine how powerful
Lyn (19:17):
Can be . It's amazing.
Bunny (19:20):
Wow, that's such a, I mean, that's such a formative
time anyway, but the way that I, I mean, I, I'm not an expert,
but it does feel that the waythat we were , um, formed and
learned and informed at thattime in our life, we carry it
with this forever, right?
Lyn (19:40):
That's right. 12 years old is the time we really start
individuating from our parentsand our family, typically most
often our same sex parent, howI'm gonna be like them, how I'm
not gonna be like them. Andit's, we start looking outside
of ourselves. And so that's ,um, it's a really critical time
(20:03):
in emotional development.
Bunny (20:07):
I , I'm , I'm so fascinated. I , I can't, I
can't really find words to talkabout, but you, you're doing
something. Talk about whatyou're doing on Wednesday
nights, because I know thereare people who are gonna wanna
know about that.
Lyn (20:18):
Okay. So Wednesday nights I do no coaching, and I do no
gestalt. So I, I needto preface that Wednesday
nights are a women's connectioncircle. Something I have seen
in my clients, especially postcovid , I is this deep need for
connection. And I, I just seeit all the time where I've, and
(20:43):
I , I've heard it a lot about,I'm having trouble getting like
a , a support network. Ithasn't been my experience here,
but I've heard that from a lotof people. Um, and so I, I
thought about what, you know,what can I do to let people
experience, get to know me andhow I facilitate a group, get
(21:04):
to know the horses , horses ,and then experience these
incredible Santa Fe sunsets.
Um, so I created cowgirlshorses and sunsets. So it's an
intro, just come out, connectwith other women. I start with
a safety demo and then a , ashort guided meditation. That
(21:25):
meditation helps people reallytune into their higher self,
their soul, however terminologyyou wanna say. But , um, I, I
think of it as soul or higherself, but it really just quiets
them down in the middle of theweek to get in touch with
themselves again. And then Ifacilitate deep conversation.
(21:49):
So I send a question around, Ihave my , um, my pony, that's
kind of the Native Americantalking stick , the little
stuffed pony that we tossaround the circle. So whoever
has the pony has, has thefloor, and I have strong ground
rules, no crosstalk,everybody's divine. And we
don't need to give , um,advice. Let's just let people
(22:12):
be seen and heard. And, and sothe connection that forms in
that deep container that I set,it's really beautiful. And then
at the end, I have my handlerkinda watch for, okay, sunset's
prime. We get up, we go intothe larger paddock , um, and I
(22:35):
invite people to, to go inquietly and set an intention
for , um, something they wantto do in the next week. That,
and, and so I keep it veryfocused and , um, and so I, I
let people, I ask people to bejust go silently into the area
(22:57):
with the horses, enjoy thesunset, and then again, I, and,
and they can start talkingbetween themselves and they do.
And that's part of theconnection piece of it. Um, but
then at the end, we all circleup and, and close out our
circle with naming ourintention. And, and it's
beautiful in facilitating thosedeep conversations. People
(23:20):
really do make strongconnections. Um, last summer I
did 12 weeks and you can attendone summer all , and I had
three women that pretty muchcame to every one of them. And
, um, and so it'll beinteresting. I just, I, I love
these Wednesday nights. It'sjust a , a fun way to gather
(23:43):
women who are really focused on, um, personal development and
, um, and deep, you know,wanting deep connections with
like-minded women.
Bunny (23:54):
And I think some that's hard for some people here. I
mean, I, you and I are pretty ,um, outgoing and, and I don't
get the impression that youhave a hard time meeting
people, but I have so manyclients, so many real estate
clients who move here and thendon't make deep connections.
You know, I, I , you know, Itake some of them to lunch
(24:17):
together or I hook before,before, you know, if I got
somebody who's moving from theBay Area, I try to introduce
them to other clients I havewho have moved from a similar
area. But I do, every once in awhile , uh, you know, I'll
reach out. I always reach outafterwards and I'll say, how
are things going? And they'llsay, oh, you know, my husband
got so involved. He's going,he's biking with a group and
(24:39):
he's hiking with a group. Ijust don't know what to do. So
this is, this is reallyinteresting what you're doing,
because I think it provides ,um, it , it feels like the
ground is pretty level foreverybody who shows up. It's
not like I'm, I'm a betteryoga, you know, I'm better at
yoga than you are, or I'm, I'm,you know, I'm a better
storyteller if I go to awriter's group. This is just,
(25:01):
everybody shows up at the sameplace, right?
Lyn (25:04):
Correct. And I oftentimes say, when I start the circle, I
don't want your resume. Idon't, I want to know, share
with us who you are as a woman.
What do you stand for? And somepeople are like, what
people
Bunny (25:21):
Dunno , Lynn .
Lyn (25:22):
I know. But that's what's, that's so beautiful
because it really gets them tothinking about what are my
values? Who am I? Who am I,what do I stand for? And , um,
it's, it's great because Ireally don't let people get so
into what do they do for aliving? What are the labels
(25:45):
they have? Um, and, and so Ithink that is a great joining
place for people to cometogether and , um, and just, I
mean, for me, I'm , I callmyself an authenticity coach. I
am all about like, who are youbeneath all that social
conditioning?
Bunny (26:05):
Wow. Wow. And who are we? . That's the hard
part. Um, is there a cost forthe Wednesdays?
Lyn (26:12):
Yes, it's $35 and the , uh, last Wednesday of the
month, a hundred percent of theproceeds go to the horse
shelter, which is a cause verynear and dear to my heart. Um,
and so yes, it's, I I want themto be affordable so that
everyone can experience beinghere and, and connecting with
(26:35):
other women. Well,
Bunny (26:37):
Lynn , I'm really excited about what you're
doing. Um, it's, it's, to me,this is a perfect example of
how people show up in NewMexico and start changing their
life and, and other people's aswell. I mean, it seems , um, I
mean, this is a place where weget to be , um, authentically
who we are. I, I, I don't , Itry not to have a pat answer,
(26:57):
but just what we've beentalking about feels so
quintessentially new Mexican. Imean, thank you for doing that.
How , how do people find you?
Lyn (27:08):
I am , my website is blissful heart coaching.com. Uh
, blissful has one L, not two ,um,. And
Bunny (27:19):
We'll have a link, the show
Lyn (27:21):
Link Perfect.
Bunny (27:22):
To Lynn's website in the show show notes driving .
So
Lyn (27:27):
That's true. Yes. And I'm on Instagram at Lynn Carpenter,
under coach and Facebook. I'mblissful heart coaching. Well,
Bunny (27:37):
I'm so excited first of all that we got to meet in the
way that we did. And I justwanna say that if Lynn Arnold,
who, who was one of my dearestfriends and who , um, died of
metastatic lung cancer , um, ifshe were here, she would be in
the middle of that circle. Iknow. She, she would ,
Lyn (27:56):
I feel her all the time.
I know. She's, I know she'shere cheering us on.
Bunny (28:03):
She is . Thank you so much for what you do.
Lyn (28:05):
Oh, thank you, bunny. I really appreciate the
opportunity.
Bunny (28:09):
Thanks to all of you for taking the time to listen
to the I Love New Mexicopodcast. If you've enjoyed this
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(28:31):
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enchanted. Thank you so much.
Hi there. I'm Bunny Terry , and I'm the host of the
I Love New Mexico podcast. Wetalk about everything here.
There are no boundaries. Wetalk to people who are from all
corners of the state, peoplewho are chefs, who are
tourists, who are artists, whoare Chamber of Commerce
(00:21):
executives, and who are fromranch families that have been
here for hundreds of years. NewMexico is enchanting, and it's
interesting, and I, I can'tbelieve I get to do this job.
New Mexico is so amazing, and Iinvite you to come along for
the ride on the I Love of NewMexico podcast. Thanks for
(00:42):
being here. I'm so excited onthe, I love New Mexico podcast.
Today we have my, I, I feellike relatively new friend,
Lynn Carpenter and Lynn livesin Santa Fe , um, volunteers
her time for a number ofcauses, but spends the bulk of
(01:02):
her time helping others , um,in her profession and in her
personal life. So Lynn , I'm sohappy that you're on the
podcast and I want folks tohear who you are and what you
do. So welcome.
Lyn (01:15):
Thank you, Bunny. I'm thrilled to be here. Thank you
for the opportunity,
Bunny (01:21):
I just, I love, so the way that this came about is
that Lynn commented on a postthat I put on about , um,
stepping Down as the boardchair, the Cancer Foundation,
and she made a comment and Ithought, you know, sometimes
this just comes to you. Uh , wedo this. So there are no
boundaries in the, I love NewMexico podcast in terms of the
(01:41):
topics that we talk about, butsometimes I see somebody online
and I think that is somebodythat the rest of New Mexico
needs to know about. So, Lyn, Iwanna hear, what are , are you
a new Mexican by birth? What,if not, what brought you here
and what are you doing withyour time now?
Lyn (02:00):
Oh my gosh, I wish I were a New Mexican by birth. The
first time my husband Brian andI came to Santa Fe was in 2006,
and it was over Christmas. Wehad , um, our two sons who
were, one was a freshman incollege and one was a junior in
high school. So we were gonnago skiing at Pagosa Springs and
(02:22):
decided to spend Christmas inSanta Fe. There was so much
snow on the ground that year,and it was gorgeous, and, And
it was love at first sight. Um,and so literally we have been
coming almost annually, since2016. And then, oh gosh, a
(02:44):
while, probably 12 years ago,my husband had started a new
job. We always came for a week,the first week in August to
escape the Dallas-Fort Worthheat. And my husband said, I
can't take a full week. I'vejust started this new job. So
he came in and flew home , um,after the weekend, and I had
(03:06):
rented this little casita kindof in between the plaza and the
rail yard district. I walkedeverywhere. I did a yoga and
painting retreat all in one .
Wow. I met some amazing women,and there is nothing like
experiencing a place on foot.
(03:28):
It's one thing to be in a car,but to walk. And, and I walked
everywhere and I just got sucha feel for the culture and the
vibe here. And I went home andI announced to Brian, I don't
know about you, but I'mretiring in Santa Fe. And he
said, well, I guess I'mretiring in Santa Fe
So that's, that's a kind of howwe got here. Um, the following
(03:53):
year I had saved all theseZillow listings, not that we
were ready to purchaseanything, but I, we wanted to
get a feel for what parts ofSanta Fe could we have courses
. And , um, anyway, long story.
We, and I'll , I'll break itdown, but , um, we looked at
all these places and , um, myhusband loved , um, this
(04:17):
specific area and kind ofnorthwest Santa Fe and he said,
let's build. And I said, no,that's crazy. And so anyway, he
said, just humor me . We found,we found a piece of land and
the sellers came out to meetus. We instantly connected with
(04:37):
them. They're mutual friends ofours, Bunny John and Lynn
Arnold. So we immediatelyconnected with them. And , um,
I had told my husband the nightbefore, the only way I'd build
is if we could build a homewith a central court courtyard.
So John and Lynn are walking usaround the property, showing us
(04:59):
the, you know, the beautiful, Imean, 360 degree views. And
John said, well, we were gonnabuild here, but we don't need
12 acres. So we, but we weregonna put a home with the
central courtyard on it. AndBrian went, what? Oh my gosh,
that's kismet. So we went totheir office, he gave us the
plans , and , um, we ended upbuying the land in 2015. Um,
(05:25):
sat on it for a few years, andfinally my husband said, if we
don't build now, we're gonnaget priced out. So we built
now, and we weren't ready tolive here full time . We were
going back and forth betweenDallas-Fort Worth because of my
husband's job. And then Covidhit, and like so many people ,
um, he's now able to work fromhome. And he said, Hey guys,
(05:47):
you know, I have a home inSanta Fe. I can just as easily
work from Santa Fe as I canhere. And they said , do it. So
that is definitely a silverlining , uh, for us, for Covid
.
Bunny (06:00):
And then you came here and is this is what you do now
new, or were you doing thatwhere you were before?
Lyn (06:08):
Interestingly, I got my certification. So I am
certified in a coaching methodcalled the Equine Geal Coaching
Method. Um, it's based ongestalt, which is a therapeutic
modality. It's a German word,and the closest English
translation is wholeness. SoGestalt says , we all have
(06:29):
these countless parts ofourselves, but some are really
known and others not so much.
Good girls don't behave likethat. And there are parts of
ourselves that we've learnedthrough social conditioning to,
to put what I call in theshadow. And Gestalt says, no,
we need all of those parts tobe whole worthy individuals.
(06:52):
And , um, I immediately , um,just connected. I have had a
lifelong passion for personalhealing, personal development.
And when I found this program,it combined my passion for
healing and my passion forhorses. And I was all in , um,
it was a two year program, veryintense. Um, and I got my
(07:17):
certification in 2018, and weliterally moved into this home
Labor Day weekend of 2018. Anda couple weeks later in
September, I got mycertification. So it all kind
of dovetailed how the timingworked out.
Bunny (07:34):
That's so exciting.
And, and when , um, say you are, um, uh, it's women, right?
It's you , you
Lyn (07:43):
Work Yes, mainly women.
I've , I've worked with somemen, but it's mainly women.
Bunny (07:49):
And so if somebody , um, how does it work in
practical terms?
Lyn (07:55):
So horses are prey animals, and that means they're
in the food chain. And theirspecies has survived for over 2
million years, I believe, asprey animals , um, without
being eaten. So their abilityto read the energetic field has
kept that species alive. Theyknow, okay, the mountain lions
(08:18):
up there sleeping, but thesecond he kind of wakes up
those horses know it andthey're out. Um, so what my ,
the founder of our program, hername is Melissa Pierce, she is
a lifelong horse woman and also, um, a 40 plus year therapist.
And she had a home inFlagstaff, lived in Phoenix,
(08:42):
but spent her summers inFlagstaff to escape the heat.
And so she'd bring her coachingcounseling clients up to her
ranch for long intensiveweekends. And she had one rule,
don't go on the same side ofthe fence as my horses , but
she said, inevitably she'd seepeople at the fence and the hor
there would always be a horsethere. And she said, they're
(09:04):
standing in knee deep grass. Soshe said, if it was one horse,
I would've not even thoughtabout it. But she said it was
almost like, Hey, I got thatone yesterday. This one's
yours. And she said she noticedin her afternoon sessions with
these clients, they were muchmore accessible to her
counseling after being with thehorse. So this was
(09:27):
pre-internet, and she decidedto start playing with it and
started asking clients if theywould get in her round pin with
her horses. And what shediscovered was incredible.
Sometimes they would Panama,sometimes they would work
energetically on a client. Andshe just really started this
(09:48):
practice. And , um, before sheknew it, people were saying,
can you create something toteach this method to us? And
um, so horses, I have threeright now. I have one that's a
, a boundary teacher. Like heloves to get in people's
personal space, and horses arebig. So you , you know,
(10:11):
, they're big. So he's great atteaching boundaries. Um, and a
lot of women in particular haveweak boundaries. Um, I'm sure
that's not news to you
absolutely cost me a lot ofheartache in my lifetime.
Exactly. So, so strongboundaries are something that
(10:34):
are just imperative to reallyliving authentically. Um, I
have another horse that's anenergy healer, and she , um,
she'll just hone in on someone.
I have a perfect example and abeautiful picture of this, but
, um, I did an event calledCowgirls Horses and sunsets
(10:56):
last summer, and my horse fancy, um, honed in on this woman. I
think there were 10 people inthe circle. It was a pretty
large circle. And she honed inon this woman and just went
right to her during themeditation and just had her
nose on her head and her eyesgo half masked , and it's the
most beautiful thing. She musthave spent 15 minutes just
(11:21):
connecting with that woman. Andit was the most beautiful
thing. Everyone in the circlewas just in awe of it. Um, and
then I have crush who's just agoofball. He's the horse I
ride, and he's funny and heloves to make people laugh. And
, um, they, they bring so muchto the coaching practice. I'm
(11:44):
someone who has done years andyears and years and years of
counseling on the couch. Um,and you know, I , when I
experienced this equine gestaltmethod, I was blown away one
session with a gifted coach anda horse, something that I had
talked in therapy about for 20plus years gone. It was, I was
(12:09):
done, it was, it was over. So,wow , the,
Bunny (12:16):
So it's less about riding and more about
interacting.
Lyn (12:20):
It's all on the ground.
It's ev so you don't need tohave horse experience. You,
most people that come out lovehorses, some have zero horse
experience, have never beenaround them before in their
lives, and others have beenlifelong horsewomen. Um, but
there is just something I, theirony of the horses. And when I
(12:44):
go into a session with someone,I never know what they're going
to reveal to me. But oftentimesI take my cues and how I coach
from the horse most of thetime, not just oftentimes
Bunny (13:02):
Interesting. I mean, I'll, I'll be really honest, I
have a a , I mean, like manypeople I suspect have a little
bit of a, a fear of being alonewith the horse because even
though I grew up on a farm inthe country, in a rural
environment all my life, theonly horse we ever owned in our
family was a really mean littleShetland pony
Lyn (13:26):
Threw me .
Bunny (13:28):
And I'm like, they're so big. They take up so much
space. I don't have , um, themost positive experience with
horses. So I, I would suspectthat happens on occasion too,
that , I mean, it's not likeI'm fearful, like I won't be in
the same space with them, butI'm very , um, uneasy around
(13:48):
horses. Does that happen?
Lyn (13:50):
Oh , uh, yes, it does happen. I always have a handler
present in my session. So thatis someone who's focused on the
horse so that I don't have tobreak contact with the client
in front of me. I can focus onthe client. And the handler's
role is to make sure theclient's comfortable. Some
people may not be happy orcomfortable sitting in a
(14:13):
meditation with the horse,having their nose on their
forehead, standing above this
Bunny (14:19):
Talking about that, I was like, Ooh . I was sort of,
my brain was scrunching up itfelt like, because I was like,
Hmm , I don't know. I mean,
Lyn (14:27):
I bet
Bunny (14:28):
I would, I would trust your processes, absolutely. But
I suspect there are people who, um, who might find that a
little daunting.
Lyn (14:36):
Of course, yes. I , um, I do a safety demo at the
beginning of every session, andI tell them, you know, about
how to be safe around a horse.
And , um, and I also say, if atany point you're uncomfortable
with where the horse is, justlet the handler know and, and
(14:59):
she'll move the horse back. Um,so, so it's, we're very, very
safe about how this is done.
Um, I never just get in a roundpin with a client and a horse.
I've always got a handlerpresent. So , um, and a lot of
people, bunny are afraid ofhorses, but they wanna get over
(15:21):
that fear. And so they comeand, and work with us. And when
I first got my certification, Iworked with a woman who was
deathly afraid of horses, andshe had reason to be her mother
had a very tragic accident on ahorse. Um, but then her
daughter decided she was horsecrazy , and she wanted to
(15:43):
support her daughter's passion,but was, I mean, just
terrified, terrified,terrified. And so we worked
together in privately , um,and, and she would, we would
monitor her pulse on her applewatch. And, and it was because
it was, it was like, okay, weneed to back up. And, and, and
(16:05):
so we pushed, we worked withher, her comfort zone of where,
where did she feel safe? And itwas really, really neat to see
her progress and be able to petthe horses. And, and after one
session, she jokingly said,okay, I'm ready for a horse. Is
that too quick? And I'm like,yeah, probably. So
(16:27):
Wow. That's a breakthrough. Andand do you work with clients
primarily alone or they, or ingroups? How does it work?
Either, both. Um, my, I , Ilove groups. I love the dynamic
of a group. I love one-on-onesas well. There's something,
gestalt is very experiexperimental. So what that
(16:49):
means is , say Gestalt says ,we all have unfinished business
from our past that plays in aloop in our minds that really
prevents us from being fullypresent in the here and now,
and life is happening in thehere and now. So when we have
all of this unfinished businessthat we're looping on , um, it
(17:11):
really, it we gestalt I can setup an experiment to take that
person back to that point intheir life where they have the
unfinished business and givethem an opportunity to say what
they wish they could have said.
And, and it wasn't taught to methis way, but I do a lot of ,
(17:35):
um, learning and studying onneuroplasticity and which is
the brain, and we have theseneural pathways, and , and
that's what the loop is. It's aneural pathway that we keep
walking down. I think of itlike a , a trail that you
always take and the grass getsworn down. And, and that's
what's happening in our brain.
(17:55):
Well, with Gestalt, we cancreate an experiment to take a
person back to that place. Andwhat I see, and again, Melissa
May scold me for this, but
it's, we're we're just layingdown the start of a new neural
pathway when someone can goback and complete that
(18:19):
unfinished business. So if ,um, in a group, I can bring the
group participants in to theexperiment so I can have
someone step in as mom orwhoever the, the person, the
perpetrator or whatever, I canhave a person step in and play
(18:43):
that role. And, and it's soneat in a group, sometimes we
do what's called a familysculpture where I take someone
back to 12 years old and whereif, if this were a sculpture of
your family, how would mom bepositioned? Where would dad be?
Who are the siblings? And I canget everybody in the group
(19:07):
involved in this person's pieceof work. And bunny it is, I
have goosebumps. It's magic
Bunny (19:15):
I can't imagine how powerful
Lyn (19:17):
Can be . It's amazing.
Bunny (19:20):
Wow, that's such a, I mean, that's such a formative
time anyway, but the way that I, I mean, I, I'm not an expert,
but it does feel that the waythat we were , um, formed and
learned and informed at thattime in our life, we carry it
with this forever, right?
Lyn (19:40):
That's right. 12 years old is the time we really start
individuating from our parentsand our family, typically most
often our same sex parent, howI'm gonna be like them, how I'm
not gonna be like them. Andit's, we start looking outside
of ourselves. And so that's ,um, it's a really critical time
(20:03):
in emotional development.
Bunny (20:07):
I , I'm , I'm so fascinated. I , I can't, I
can't really find words to talkabout, but you, you're doing
something. Talk about whatyou're doing on Wednesday
nights, because I know thereare people who are gonna wanna
know about that.
Lyn (20:18):
Okay. So Wednesday nights I do no coaching, and I do no
gestalt
nights are a women's connectioncircle. Something I have seen
in my clients, especially postcovid , I is this deep need for
connection. And I, I just seeit all the time where I've, and
(20:43):
I , I've heard it a lot about,I'm having trouble getting like
a , a support network. Ithasn't been my experience here,
but I've heard that from a lotof people. Um, and so I, I
thought about what, you know,what can I do to let people
experience, get to know me andhow I facilitate a group, get
(21:04):
to know the horses , horses ,and then experience these
incredible Santa Fe sunsets.
Um, so I created cowgirlshorses and sunsets. So it's an
intro, just come out, connectwith other women. I start with
a safety demo and then a , ashort guided meditation. That
(21:25):
meditation helps people reallytune into their higher self,
their soul, however terminologyyou wanna say. But , um, I, I
think of it as soul or higherself, but it really just quiets
them down in the middle of theweek to get in touch with
themselves again. And then Ifacilitate deep conversation.
(21:49):
So I send a question around, Ihave my , um, my pony, that's
kind of the Native Americantalking stick , the little
stuffed pony that we tossaround the circle. So whoever
has the pony has, has thefloor, and I have strong ground
rules, no crosstalk,everybody's divine. And we
don't need to give , um,advice. Let's just let people
(22:12):
be seen and heard. And, and sothe connection that forms in
that deep container that I set,it's really beautiful. And then
at the end, I have my handlerkinda watch for, okay, sunset's
prime. We get up, we go intothe larger paddock , um, and I
(22:35):
invite people to, to go inquietly and set an intention
for , um, something they wantto do in the next week. That,
and, and so I keep it veryfocused and , um, and so I, I
let people, I ask people to bejust go silently into the area
(22:57):
with the horses, enjoy thesunset, and then again, I, and,
and they can start talkingbetween themselves and they do.
And that's part of theconnection piece of it. Um, but
then at the end, we all circleup and, and close out our
circle with naming ourintention. And, and it's
beautiful in facilitating thosedeep conversations. People
(23:20):
really do make strongconnections. Um, last summer I
did 12 weeks and you can attendone summer all , and I had
three women that pretty muchcame to every one of them. And
, um, and so it'll beinteresting. I just, I, I love
these Wednesday nights. It'sjust a , a fun way to gather
(23:43):
women who are really focused on, um, personal development and
, um, and deep, you know,wanting deep connections with
like-minded women.
Bunny (23:54):
And I think some that's hard for some people here. I
mean, I, you and I are pretty ,um, outgoing and, and I don't
get the impression that youhave a hard time meeting
people, but I have so manyclients, so many real estate
clients who move here and thendon't make deep connections.
You know, I, I , you know, Itake some of them to lunch
(24:17):
together or I hook before,before, you know, if I got
somebody who's moving from theBay Area, I try to introduce
them to other clients I havewho have moved from a similar
area. But I do, every once in awhile , uh, you know, I'll
reach out. I always reach outafterwards and I'll say, how
are things going? And they'llsay, oh, you know, my husband
got so involved. He's going,he's biking with a group and
(24:39):
he's hiking with a group. Ijust don't know what to do. So
this is, this is reallyinteresting what you're doing,
because I think it provides ,um, it , it feels like the
ground is pretty level foreverybody who shows up. It's
not like I'm, I'm a betteryoga, you know, I'm better at
yoga than you are, or I'm, I'm,you know, I'm a better
storyteller if I go to awriter's group. This is just,
(25:01):
everybody shows up at the sameplace, right?
Lyn (25:04):
Correct. And I oftentimes say, when I start the circle, I
don't want your resume. Idon't, I want to know, share
with us who you are as a woman.
What do you stand for? And somepeople are like, what
people
Bunny (25:21):
Dunno , Lynn .
Lyn (25:22):
I know. But that's what's, that's so beautiful
because it really gets them tothinking about what are my
values? Who am I? Who am I,what do I stand for? And , um,
it's, it's great because Ireally don't let people get so
into what do they do for aliving? What are the labels
(25:45):
they have? Um, and, and so Ithink that is a great joining
place for people to cometogether and , um, and just, I
mean, for me, I'm , I callmyself an authenticity coach. I
am all about like, who are youbeneath all that social
conditioning?
Bunny (26:05):
Wow. Wow. And who are we?
part. Um, is there a cost forthe Wednesdays?
Lyn (26:12):
Yes, it's $35 and the , uh, last Wednesday of the
month, a hundred percent of theproceeds go to the horse
shelter, which is a cause verynear and dear to my heart. Um,
and so yes, it's, I I want themto be affordable so that
everyone can experience beinghere and, and connecting with
(26:35):
other women. Well,
Bunny (26:37):
Lynn , I'm really excited about what you're
doing. Um, it's, it's, to me,this is a perfect example of
how people show up in NewMexico and start changing their
life and, and other people's aswell. I mean, it seems , um, I
mean, this is a place where weget to be , um, authentically
who we are. I, I, I don't , Itry not to have a pat answer,
(26:57):
but just what we've beentalking about feels so
quintessentially new Mexican. Imean, thank you for doing that.
How , how do people find you?
Lyn (27:08):
I am , my website is blissful heart coaching.com. Uh
, blissful has one L, not two ,um,
Bunny (27:19):
We'll have a link, the show
Lyn (27:21):
Link Perfect.
Bunny (27:22):
To Lynn's website in the show show notes driving .
So
Lyn (27:27):
That's true. Yes. And I'm on Instagram at Lynn Carpenter,
under coach and Facebook. I'mblissful heart coaching. Well,
Bunny (27:37):
I'm so excited first of all that we got to meet in the
way that we did. And I justwanna say that if Lynn Arnold,
who, who was one of my dearestfriends and who , um, died of
metastatic lung cancer , um, ifshe were here, she would be in
the middle of that circle. Iknow. She, she would ,
Lyn (27:56):
I feel her all the time.
I know. She's, I know she'shere cheering us on
Bunny (28:03):
She is . Thank you so much for what you do.
Lyn (28:05):
Oh, thank you, bunny. I really appreciate the
opportunity.
Bunny (28:09):
Thanks to all of you for taking the time to listen
to the I Love New Mexicopodcast. If you've enjoyed this
episode, please feel free toshare it with your friends on
social media or by texting ormessaging or emailing them a
copy of the podcast. If youhave a New Mexico story that
you'd like to share with us,don't hesitate to reach out.
(28:31):
Our email address is I love NewMexico blog@gmail.com and we
are always, always looking forinteresting stories about New
Mexico. Subscribe, share, andwrite a review so that we can
continue to bring you thesestories about the land of
enchanted. Thank you so much.
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