Dating's Curious Double Standards, Masculine Vulnerability and Dating a Millennial with Karen

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What happens when old friends reconnect to discuss the messy, complicated world of modern relationships? In this raw and unfiltered conversation, Chris welcomes his longtime friend Karen (aka "Kare Bear") to explore relationship dynamics that rarely get discussed openly.

The episode dives deep into age-gap relationships and the curious double standard that exists - why is it celebrated when older women date younger men but often criticized when older men date younger women? Karen and Chris share personal insights about dating preferences, boundaries, and what truly makes a relationship work beyond superficial attractions. Their candid discussion about sexual health testing reveals important truths about responsibility in modern dating that everyone needs to hear.

Perhaps most fascinating is their exploration of communication styles and how they affect relationships. Karen's preference for radical transparency ("I'll tell you everything") contrasts with Chris's more reserved approach, highlighting how different personality types navigate relationship challenges. When they tackle the question "Are men intimidated by successful women?", Chris's honest admission that many men struggle with taking a supporting role offers rare insight into masculine vulnerability.

Throughout the conversation, their decades-long friendship provides a comfortable foundation for discussing uncomfortable truths about blocking exes, parenting struggles, and finding partners who match your energy rather than deplete it. Whether you're dating, in a relationship, or taking a break from romance altogether, this episode offers wisdom from two people who've experienced it all and aren't afraid to laugh about their mistakes along the way.

• Age gaps in relationships: acceptable or problematic?
• Double standards between older women/younger men vs older men/younger women relationships
• How digital culture has transformed dating compared to 20+ years ago
• Transparency vs "don't ask, don't tell" approaches in relationships
• Sexual health testing and responsible dating practices
• The psychology behind blocking exes on social media
• Why men are often intimidated by successful women
• Single parenting challenges and setting boundaries with children
• Finding partners who match your communication style and energy

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:08):
5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Welcome back to another episodeof the Relationship Method
podcast.
It's your boy, Chris.
Thank you for coming back again.
Today I have a special guest.
One of my home girls from theBay is visiting the island.
She's a marketing consultant.
She has a podcast, the HoopsOff.
I got my girl Care Bear Karenon this.

(00:31):
Motherfucking hoe, Karen.
What's up?
Girl On the island, bro?
I know, Hello, motherfuckinghoe.
Hell yeah, Was it hard findingthis place.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
Google Maps bruh, that's all.

Speaker 1 (00:49):
Google Maps?
You know what I'm saying?
Mapquest who uses that bitchright now?
It's been a while.
Oh my gosh, it's been a while.
When was the last time I seenyou?

Speaker 2 (01:00):
Don't age us, chris.

Speaker 1 (01:02):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:02):
The listeners think we're young.

Speaker 1 (01:05):
We're young in spirit .
You know what I'm saying, theskibbity.
I'm trying.
I'm trying to keep up withthese kids.
These kids are fucking killingme.
I know, girl, when was the lasttime I've seen you?
We've seen each other over 20years the party, yeah, yeah,
because you brought that up inmarch and I don't even remember
it, so I don't the party, yeah,yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
Because you brought that up in March and I don't
even remember it, so I don'tknow if I was high.

Speaker 1 (01:29):
We're kind of inebriated, me and my partner,
we took the cab, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:34):
I don't.
Even you remember way moredetails than I.

Speaker 1 (01:41):
Well, she was with my boy.
She hooked me up with one ofher girls which I don't even
remember, girls which I don'teven remember who, I don't even
remember who it was, but endedup and it was college.

Speaker 2 (01:50):
I was at state, I was at SF state and then ended up.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
Yeah, it was a great night since when did you start
censoring?
Yourself never since I gotmarried Makes sense, Girl.
How did I get the yes from youto come on the first time and
now come on live with me?

Speaker 2 (02:17):
Because you're the homie and I support homies and
their hustle and their growthand plus, this is a tax
write-off, okay.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
Marketing consultant, y'all.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
Hustle.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
Hustle and bustle Girl.
Well, I do appreciate youcoming on the first time.
We had that double feedback soI couldn't.
I tried fixing it, I reallytried hard.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
Sorry, it's my levels , it's my voice.
I know, yeah, it's her fault.

Speaker 1 (02:45):
See levels.
It's my voice I know, yeah,it's her fault.
See people take accountabilityand it's awesome and uh, but I
do appreciate you coming on, youknow in person, because not a
lot of mainland folk be comingon, but I do begin, like some
people, they need to.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
I mean business pleasure.
The island you gotta, I don't,why not?
You're fucking right andisn't're fucking right.

Speaker 1 (03:06):
And isn't Hawaii too expensive to where mainland
folks work?
So they work hard just to spenda week here and they can't even
afford that.

Speaker 2 (03:14):
I mean, I will say, I am fucking surprised that y'all
have SF prices for fuckingsmoothies, sandwiches, isn't?

Speaker 1 (03:25):
it.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
It's fucking crazy, but is the wage similar?
We got tech wages.

Speaker 1 (03:32):
No, the wages aren't similar here.
How are?

Speaker 2 (03:34):
y'all hanging.

Speaker 1 (03:36):
Some people got a side hustle.
I think it's more of the sidehustle.
They have the regular 9-5, andthen on the side we have people
that, uh, they make platelunches, yep oh they uh you
gotta give me some records, yeahthe trucks, the food trucks, um
, which is good.

(03:56):
There's a lot of barbers here up, you know they do it from the
garage, okay, as aestheticians,aesthetic aestheticians you know
english, not Aestheticians,aestheticians, aestheticians
English not very good, huh.
And then you know there'speople I know a lot of people
doing landscaping and the wholecar detailing business.
So there's a lot of sidehustles that I guess the local

(04:17):
folks out here that's how, likethey're surviving, and then some
and also not like the mainlandthey have family members living
in their home for 10, 20 plusyears, yeah.
So community.
Community is a big thing.
Yeah, as for me, man, you're 18.
You're getting the fuck out.
Damn, I'm sorry, damn dad, no,but the reason why I do that is

(04:38):
because I want them to surviveand understand.
Good See, that's done.
Surv to survive and understand.
Good See, that's done.
Survive and understand, likehow it is growing up and being
on your own, because I left whenI was 17.
Yeah no, that makes sense andthat, like that really humbled
me because I was like damn.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (04:55):
No laundry for free.
Nope, no more food waiting inthe fucking fridge.
My internet, no groceries it'son my fucking phone now, you
know it's internet.
It's on my fucking phone now,you know.
It's like all that bullshit.
So I just want my older kidsjust just to understand they
could come back home.
Right, by all means, they couldcome back home.

Speaker 2 (05:11):
They're gonna stay right, but they're yeah, they're
getting the boot, you know I'msaying you know what I'm proud
of you as a millennial parentthat you're not um babying your
babies and you're empoweringthem because, yeah, like I was
on my own at 19 and I I jokewith friends if that didn't
happen I'd totally be a princessright now, like I'd be helpless

(05:32):
you'd be a princess oh yeah,yeah, I could see that speech.

Speaker 1 (05:36):
I could see that shit happening too.
Oh my god, what happened afterfrisco?

Speaker 2 (05:42):
uh, you went to school, you got done yeah, life
life was lifing or life waslifing, you know, post college
definitely.
Um, I met some of my best, bestbest friends living in a house
together in Emeryville.
We have tons of awesomeadventures, even on the islands,
and, um, I really focused oncareer so I went into PR

(06:05):
internship, I went toadvertising.
Yeah, tried the love thing too.
Guys, I don't know, we'll talkabout that and then I had my
oldest in 2011, so became mommyhow's your oldest now?

Speaker 1 (06:20):
14 14 yeah, sophomore freshman freshman going into
high school.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
Remember those days.

Speaker 1 (06:25):
Yeah, oh my gosh.
But see high school now.

Speaker 2 (06:28):
It's like that's where I met you High school, I
know.

Speaker 1 (06:33):
High school nowadays, though, but see back, we had
AOL, so it was just chatting.
Now it's like send me a picture.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
Snapchat, snapchat, snapchat.
Let it disappear that nudie.

Speaker 1 (06:43):
So I think the when I liked our high school days more
, because now it's likeeverything's easily accessible
Because you could be a freak.
Yeah, yeah, that too.
Yeah, yeah, and no one wouldknow.
No one would know, no one wouldfucking know.

Speaker 2 (06:55):
That's why we danced in the club and got sweaty
because there was no live, therewas no pictures.
After Exactly, you couldn't getin trouble.

Speaker 1 (07:01):
There's no pictures after you couldn't get in
trouble, that's why you twerkedyour ass off.
Yeah, hell yeah, yes, and thengo outside.
You can be as funky as you wantFreak nasty oh my gosh.
Right.
That's why these kids don'tdance.

Speaker 2 (07:14):
You ever hit up a club now.

Speaker 1 (07:17):
You know what?
I went with my wife like acouple months.
Yeah, they don't.

Speaker 2 (07:22):
And they make fun of us for putting our hands in the
air.

Speaker 1 (07:24):
Uh-huh.
But they don't dance Is thathow it is in the Bay now, Like
they're wallflowers.

Speaker 2 (07:28):
Yes, yes, people don't drink, people don't dance,
they don't drink no.
The bar industry.
There is going.
Oh well, now it's like micro.

Speaker 1 (07:41):
Really.

Speaker 2 (07:41):
Alcohol's not cute.

Speaker 1 (07:43):
On the island.
People are drinking on theisland, okay, but I guess it's
different, it's?

Speaker 2 (07:47):
more easily accessible, I think, on the
island, because y'all don't,you're not, you haven't
legalized cannabis here yet,right?

Speaker 1 (07:55):
Uh no.

Speaker 2 (07:56):
Yeah, no, we have not .
That's a damn shame.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
But we do have dispensaries though, but you
have to have a medical card.

Speaker 2 (08:07):
Yes, yes, but on the mainland you could just go in.
Well, I don't know where else.
I know denver, maybe new yorkalready, but you literally just
there's a dispensary around thecorner 21 and up purchase.
Get out, do your thing yeah, Imaybe 18 and up, but you know
when have I been carded?

Speaker 1 (08:20):
it's been a while let me ask you this when you go get
liquor or go to a cannabis club, do you feel uplifted when they
ask you for your card?

Speaker 2 (08:32):
oh, hell yeah.
One time I was just gettingchampagne at safeway yeah, yeah
and the guy carded me.
I was with some another adult,uh-huh, and he's like I have to
card her.
I was like oh, it's oh me.
He's like oh, my God, thank you.
And then he looked at my ageand looked at me and he's like
ooh.
And I was like thanks.

Speaker 1 (08:50):
Asian don't raisin folks, Asian don't raisin, and
also estheticians, they do thejob right, okay, do you get work
done?

Speaker 2 (09:05):
Oh yeah, I get Botox.
You don't look like it.
You got to do that, okay.
So, ladies, if you're listening, men too, okay, you got to get
the Botox before the wrinkles.
But don't begin the Botox whenyou're 20.
You're too young.

Speaker 1 (09:14):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (09:14):
Maybe mid-30s, and then you just do a little bit
and what it is is?
It freezes you where you're at,so it helps prevent wrinkles.
If you already got the wrinkles, you're assed out.

Speaker 1 (09:24):
Really.

Speaker 2 (09:25):
So I got a little here, but I don't put too much,
so you do see a little bit.
And then I have crazy lock jaw.
So I have like a super wide,square face.
It's muscular.
I put stuff there to relax itSlim.

Speaker 1 (09:38):
You get lock jaw because of dropping back in the
day.

Speaker 2 (09:41):
Wait, you too.

Speaker 1 (09:43):
I did yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:44):
Is that why?

Speaker 1 (09:45):
I think so Holy shit, bro, I pacified it up like when
I was dropping.

Speaker 2 (09:49):
Oh, I didn't even make that connection, yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:51):
Wow, if you don't know what dropping is nowadays,
it's called molly.

Speaker 2 (09:56):
It's always been molly.

Speaker 1 (09:58):
No, I called it drop.

Speaker 2 (09:59):
Okay, I know.

Speaker 1 (10:06):
We call, call it, drop in.
E.
Yeah, we called it.
E it's mdma and it's pure formmolly's whatever molecule.

Speaker 2 (10:08):
Green triangles blue dolphins, whatever, oh, that
triple stack I will lay your assout.

Speaker 1 (10:14):
Light show, light show.
Another cigarette, anothercigarette, please, please not
fix fix oh see, and that'sanother thing, right, raves.

Speaker 2 (10:23):
we were, our asses, were on that dirty ass floor.
Yeah, like showing it upsucking on the pacifier,
sniffing the Vicks.
These kids like the raveculture in SF right now I don't
know about here, they do raves.

Speaker 1 (10:36):
They do raves here too.

Speaker 2 (10:37):
yeah, but it's like super, like I swear to God it's
full straight edge, but it's notthe same.

Speaker 1 (10:43):
Describe straight edge because I've seen a lot of
people that I know that I follow.
They go to raves.
So tell me what straight edgeis.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
Okay, when I say straight edge, like back in the
80s, 90s, you were straight edgewhen you didn't do drugs, you
didn't do alcohol.

Speaker 1 (11:01):
Okay, that's true.
Yeah, they don't do that here.

Speaker 2 (11:05):
Well, unless they keep it real good on the low,
the cats, now the young cats,love their.

Speaker 1 (11:09):
EDM, uh-huh.

Speaker 2 (11:10):
I think we only liked EDM because we were fucked up
when we were on there.

Speaker 1 (11:12):
This is true, oh my God, this is true.
Like there's so much I could do, it's, it's, it's, it's.
I'm on, like, say, anelliptical or the.

Speaker 2 (11:22):
Oh, yes, that beat when I hear that it's like I'm
running on the beat.

Speaker 1 (11:26):
You know what I'm saying that high BPM.
Yeah, I don't think you'll everhear me bumping it in my whip,
cruising on the hot damn highwayon a six you know what.
I'm saying Calm down.
Yeah, you're like.
I ain't hitting that shit.
I ain't hitting that shit, bro,there god, oh yeah, we're old,

(11:49):
so raves out.
Here it's um.
I haven't heard of anyone likedropping like that.
I've I've no people that theysmoked and they drank.

Speaker 2 (11:52):
Everything else is like no, you know why, though
right, chris is what it's ourgeneration.
We're stressed the fuck out and, yeah, we had a lot of trauma
growing up, so what we did wasescape through drugs.

Speaker 1 (12:04):
That's our outlet.
Yes, yeah.

Speaker 2 (12:05):
Now, with the internet, these kids can escape
through online communities.
They're much more educated onthe effects of drugs.
They're more emotionallyintelligent and go to therapy.
Sometimes, Well, yeah, I meanit's accessible.

Speaker 1 (12:19):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (12:20):
Yeah, it's a different, it's a different.
I mean, if anything, socialmedia is their drug Because,
yeah, it's a different.
I mean, if anything, socialmedia is their drug Because you
get a dopamine hit every timeyou tap that screen.
Anything you just swiping,that's a dopamine hit Really.

Speaker 1 (12:34):
Yes, Let me ask you, since we're millennials, how
long are you on your screen for?

Speaker 2 (12:41):
Oh, too long.

Speaker 1 (12:42):
Oh really, Do you time yourself for anything you
have to?

Speaker 2 (12:44):
remember.
So, as Chris mentioned,marketing consultant, but my
specialty is social mediastrategy, so I need to live
online to understand what theculture is talking about.
And it's a double-edged swordbecause it's like I know I need
to separate and get off of it,but I actually have to do it for
research purposes no, that'sfacts, though like I understand

(13:04):
that, um, if it's for work, thenit's okay, but if it's like is
it?
Yeah, because it's like if Iwas a, if I was a dealer oh, you
got a chemist like you could.
Is it still good for me if Ihave to use my own product?

Speaker 1 (13:22):
no, but, like as a chemist, you could see what,
because you know info isshooting out on the internet.
You could see what, like say,the other people are doing.
You're like, oh shit, maybe ifI added this okay, into this,
walter white okay you know, I'mjust trying to think outside the
box.
Oh thank you, thank you, I havegrown.

Speaker 2 (13:45):
We are edumacated, we are.

Speaker 1 (13:47):
We are, oh shit, all right.

Speaker 2 (13:49):
Enough of the tangent I know.

Speaker 1 (13:52):
So let me ask you this.
The first one Is it immoral todate someone significantly
younger, slash older than you,and I guess we could both talk
about this, okay.

Speaker 2 (14:04):
Well, you know, as a cultural strategist, right we
could talk about what'shappening in celeb culture.
Right, We've got Drea and Jalen.

Speaker 1 (14:13):
Who the fuck?

Speaker 2 (14:14):
is that what?

Speaker 1 (14:16):
Drea and Jalen.

Speaker 2 (14:17):
NBA Jalen Green.
Oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (14:19):
Oh, just like a 30-year gap.

Speaker 2 (14:20):
So she's our age right 43, something like that.
Her like a 30 year gap.
So she's our age right 43,something like that.
Her son is a year different,either younger than Jalen, and
then they now have a new baby,right?
There's a lot of conversationaround their relationship.
That's a huge gap.

Speaker 1 (14:36):
It is.

Speaker 2 (14:38):
I don't know about immorality, but I think,
especially if you have kids andthen you're dating someone so
close in your kid's age, thatgets a little funky to me yeah,
it's like your kid calling themdad oh yeah, my dad, my dad out
here in the Philippines tryingto marry a 43 year old.
So to me is like is there ahint of pedophilia in them?

(14:59):
uh-huh right if you think aboutit, because you're literally
looking at someone the same ageas your child.
So that's where it's weird forme.
But then there's Tracy.
Ellis Ross was talking abouther dating men younger.
She wasn't talking about 20years younger, but she's in what
her early 50s and just maybeguys in their 30s and a lot of

(15:23):
women now older women, becauseI'm 43.
43.

Speaker 1 (15:29):
Talk about dating younger men because I think it
makes them feel good, it makesy'all feel good.

Speaker 2 (15:35):
No, I think there's a couple things you know.
Women take care of themselves.
Yes, right, we see ourestheticians, we take all the
supplements.
We, you know, try to get our130 grams of protein in a day.
Like all that bullshit.

Speaker 1 (15:48):
So specific and go to therapy, uh-huh.

Speaker 2 (15:51):
Y'all.
I don't know, Chris, if you'veseen some of the single guys our
age on social, on dating apps,yeah.

Speaker 1 (15:58):
Well, not on dating apps.
What I've seen.

Speaker 2 (16:00):
Okay, well, you okay.
First off, I'm going to saythis you look good for your age
and I attribute it to your wife.
Okay, let's, because a woman'sgoing to take care of her man
because she can't be walking outthese streets with some
haggard-ass looking dude, allright, but these guys that are
either newly single, single fora while, no, wifey, no, whatever
, they don't give a fuck.

(16:21):
Dudes don't take care ofthemselves.
Think about it.
Do you do skincare?
How do you eat?
Does your wife contribute tothat of how you take care of
yourself?

Speaker 1 (16:30):
Oh okay, oh okay, I'll answer that Skincare.
She nags about me, yes, However, I'm pretty hard-headed, so she
gives me face stuff right, yes,and you use it sometimes, and
then that's it.
Sometimes, but I'm usually justwater, you know, water on the
face.
Okay, I have used deodorantthat she recommended because of

(16:57):
this.

Speaker 2 (16:59):
I don't know man, I get it Aluminum.

Speaker 1 (17:00):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, you get the yellow
sweat.
Yes, now I don't Oop, so hey,that Right.

Speaker 2 (17:08):
So you see that right .
So when men don't have apartner helping them.
Oh, the partying in our 20scaught up to the dude's.

Speaker 1 (17:16):
RAs.
Oh, this is facts, yeah.

Speaker 2 (17:17):
They look it's crazy.
It's crazy.
I someone on an app, a datingapp, and same age but I swear to
God he looks 50 or 60.

Speaker 1 (17:27):
It's nasty out there.
Is he a white or is he a brown?

Speaker 2 (17:30):
Well, you know, you're right.
There's like white Europeandescent.
So I put some Hispanics andLatinos in that.
Uh-huh, what not?
I mean, there's some ashylooking brown dudes too, like
I'm not going to lie.
Uh-huh, so looking brown dudestoo, like I'm not gonna lie.
So I think that's a reason,like older women kind of go
younger, younger men, you know,like early millennial, new gen z

(17:53):
, you guys are taking care,they're taking care of
themselves, they're going totherapy, they're washing their
face with saratoga water, fijiwater and all that you know
bottled filtered alkaline goingto the gym, right.
So I think to me, when we're acertain age as adults, it, you

(18:13):
know, like eight years, seven,ten, maybe it's all right.
I think when you start gettingaround the 20s, that's a little
I don't know.
I don't know how you feel aboutthat, if you you know what I
mean, chris, like what if yourdaughter started dating someone?
So your age.

Speaker 1 (18:29):
So the reason why so the question came up from you
know, from uh, a follower, okay,so wait, I was thinking like
it's uh, it's not frowned uponwhen an elderly woman goes for a
younger man, right?
Oh?

Speaker 2 (18:47):
I hear it is.

Speaker 1 (18:48):
No, majority of the times it's not.
But if it's flipped an olderguy going for a younger woman,
not female woman it's superfrowned upon.
It's like oh, pedo, this andthe third?
Why do you think that is?

Speaker 2 (19:03):
Yes and no.

Speaker 1 (19:04):
Okay, yes and no.
Yes and no, I mean look at what?

Speaker 2 (19:06):
um, I don't want to say his, uh, I forget.
But if you look at a lot of themale celebrities, they're and
billionaires their wives arelike young yeah young and no one
bats an eye.

Speaker 1 (19:18):
Well, yeah, but like we talk shit.

Speaker 2 (19:20):
Yeah, we're talking shit.
Women will talk shit.

Speaker 1 (19:22):
It's frowned upon.
But let's say Demi Moore datingAshton Kutcher.
That wasn't a frowned upon, itwas like oh, go ahead, girl.

Speaker 2 (19:29):
Oh, you know well, get it girl For bagging.
I might get deep with you here,so I don't know if this is
appropriate for the pod.
Dig them cheeks.

Speaker 1 (19:36):
Yeah go I mean, if you average, you ain't digging
deep.

Speaker 2 (19:43):
But I think, if you think about it too when you were
a teen, like if a guy likekissed an older, grown ass woman
, it's kind of like dude, that'scool, you've got.
You've got fucking Riz, and butthat's as a parent, that's
sexual assault, bro.

Speaker 1 (20:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (20:01):
Because anyone under 18, a child, does not give
consent.
I don't care what comes outtheir mouth.

Speaker 1 (20:07):
Oh yeah, that's true, and it's a power struggle,
right, uh-huh.

Speaker 2 (20:09):
So I think there's something there and like, of
course, like cougars are kind ofsexy and MILFs and things like
that, and I don't, but men areallowed to age.

Speaker 1 (20:19):
Mm yeah.

Speaker 2 (20:20):
There's still scenes, you know, George Clooney,
Benito De Toro.

Speaker 1 (20:22):
That's what handsome.

Speaker 2 (20:23):
Right, they're allowed to go peppered.
But women, like I justmentioned earlier, I got to get
the Botox.
I got to get the lip.
I didn't mention it.
I got a little lip filler, likeyou know.
We got to get those things.

Speaker 1 (20:34):
So I don't know it's a I don't know, man, like what
you said earlier, you live withit, you die with it.

Speaker 2 (20:47):
Yeah, swords, liquids , swords, swords, swords.
Oh, with the hard eye.
Well, you're the one who says aboat like you're fucking
Canadian.

Speaker 1 (20:51):
Yeah, I am man.
I've been saying that for years.
A boat it, you know.
A boat it come on.
So is it still so?
Do you think it's frowned uponthat?

Speaker 2 (21:00):
I think it.
It depends on who you ask,depends on who it is.

Speaker 1 (21:03):
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm, would you date someone in their
20s?
Okay, let me rephrase it.

Speaker 2 (21:18):
Would you have a good time with someone in their 20s?

Speaker 1 (21:20):
Oh I could easily have a good time with someone in
their 20s.
Okay, how about a guy?
Could he have fun with someonein their 20s?
Yeah, yes.
But no relation, no Back andout.

Speaker 2 (21:32):
She's an adult.

Speaker 1 (21:33):
She's an adult.

Speaker 2 (21:33):
To me.
You're in your 20s, you're anadult, Huh.

Speaker 1 (21:37):
Okay, mm-hmm.
Well, I ain't hitting any20-year-olds anytime soon.

Speaker 2 (21:42):
Well, you know, if you asked me in my 20s I'd be
like gross.
But now that I'm 40 and I'vebeen working my ass off and my
retirement sucks, if I was in my20s and dated a 60-year-old
millionaire, would thateventually be dead now and leave
me a house and pensions?

Speaker 1 (22:02):
That's kind of smart.
So if we had a time machine,you go back to seeing your old
self.
You would suggest your20-year-old self to be like hey,
man, go for that 50-year-oldright now.

Speaker 2 (22:11):
Uh well, it's not.
It's not like I encountered50-year-olds when I was in my
20s, but I wasn't looking.
Ah, so it I also think twopeople have parent issues if
they date.
That big of a gap.

Speaker 1 (22:25):
You think so?

Speaker 2 (22:25):
Yeah, they're finding love through someone that
resembles their parent.
Ooh, ooh, on the next pod.
Hey, that's a good one, heythat's a good one.

Speaker 1 (22:36):
We'll talk about that one.
My sense, I don't think I couldsee, like, say, my daughter's
20 right now.
I don't think she could.

Speaker 2 (22:51):
Dating someone, one of your homies, but would it be
different if it was like thesame gender?
Oh that's.
You know, I can't speak for thecommunity, but I that I hear is
not as frowned upon it's not astabooed.

Speaker 1 (22:58):
yes, because I know someone that's in their 20s
dating a 45-year-old.
They're a lesbian couple, yeahsee and they're like going
strong.
Of course I understand shelikes to party, she's more at
home because she's done withthat shit, right, but I guess

(23:18):
the chemistry's there.
Yeah, I've never heard of a guy, but I've heard of him.

Speaker 2 (23:22):
I have I know a lot of my.
I have my male gay friends, andtheir partners are much, much
older.

Speaker 1 (23:30):
And their chemistry is good.
Yeah, and it's not frowned uponhow weird is that, vid, you're
straight frowned upon.
Yes, if you're, can I saybinary, is that right?

Speaker 2 (23:43):
No, no, no no.
If you're, can I say, binary Isthat?

Speaker 1 (23:47):
right, no, no, no If you're in the community.

Speaker 2 (23:49):
I mean, that's why I say community, Jinx, owe me a
Serpy, I want a Coke.

Speaker 1 (23:51):
Zero, it's good.

Speaker 2 (23:53):
Yeah, yeah Well.

Speaker 1 (23:55):
Okay, not good, but it's more accepted.

Speaker 2 (23:57):
Accepted, right?
Well, you're already sort of inan alternative lifestyle.
So you know, when you're binaryand you're cis and heterosexual
, you need to uphold societalnorms, right?
Then there's misogyny.
I'm going to throw all theseterms at y'all but, like, maybe
I don't know, that's myassumption.

Speaker 1 (24:17):
Let me ask you this, ms Care Bear as you got older,
are you taking your birthdaystoo, uh, serious, or has it
always been serious?
Or were you always low-keybecause I've came across okay,
um, people's birthdays, yes, andit's oh, it's my birthday month
.
Yes, and I'm like motherfucker.
You wasn't born in a month.

(24:38):
You're in like three hours.
You got pushed out.

Speaker 2 (24:42):
Okay, I like this context.
Okay, I get you, I get whatyou're saying.
Okay, because when I first sawthat question I was like define
serious.
Um, I think women celebratethings more.
I think, um, and everyone'sdifferent, right, but a majority
, um, oh, I do birthday month,but it's not that I'm expecting

(25:02):
everyone to celebrate mybirthday, but everyone's got
different schedules Back in theday, right, you could be like,
oh, party for my birthday at thecrib, everyone shows up.

Speaker 1 (25:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:11):
Now everyone's busy with families.
They've got trips, they've gotother shit to do, other
obligations.
Yeah, so in order for me tofeel like I continue, I can
spend time with the importantpeople on my birthday to
celebrate me.
Time with the important peopleon my birthday to celebrate me,
it has to be all month because Igot to accommodate xyz schedule
and then they're not available.
You know, not everyone'savailable the week I throw my

(25:32):
get together and then anotherfriend's like I'm sorry, I can't
make it, let's do lunch nextweek.
So ain't nothing wrong.
Plus, I'm an astrology girly,so it's a whole season.
You know tourist season.
Okay, april 26.
Mark that on your calendar,nothing wrong.
Plus, I'm an astrology girly,so it's a whole season.
You know Taurus season.
Okay, april 26th.
Mark that on your calendar,right, chris, you a Gemini.

Speaker 1 (25:52):
No, I'm a Cancer.
I'm crabby, Wait what's yourbirthday?
June 24th.

Speaker 2 (25:57):
Bitch, you are on the cusp, you both.

Speaker 1 (25:59):
I'm a Leo.

Speaker 2 (26:02):
Leo Cancer, cancer Gemini.

Speaker 1 (26:03):
Cancer Gemini.

Speaker 2 (26:04):
June 24th right.

Speaker 1 (26:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:06):
Yeah, that's why you're a professional yapper,
bruh, I'm not a professional andyou have multiple personalities
.

Speaker 1 (26:13):
Huh, audience.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, right,the whole multiple personalities
part.
I was diagnosed because I havea therapist now I have bipolar
type 2.
Meaning, whoa, chris, I'mbipolar, yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:24):
Really.
So you have downs, do we notlike the close people in your
life see you down for periods oflike long periods of time?

Speaker 1 (26:34):
No, my close.
So like my wife and my sister,they see me.
Oh, and my daughter, they seeme like when I'm low.
I'm low, but my therapist sayslike he doesn't know how long
I've had it.
He thinks I've had it likethroughout my life.
But like growing I've copedwith, like I have a coping
mechanism to where I could gofrom here to like boost myself

(26:56):
up by myself without meds.

Speaker 2 (26:57):
Right.

Speaker 1 (26:58):
So yeah, but I think like my really bad crash out was
when, like, like my daughterwas in, she was in California, I
was here.
I think I went through somefinancial shit right and I was
just like fuck Right rough.
So like I was grinding,grinding, grinding and it came
to the point where I was likethis is hard, like my dad

(27:19):
working three jobs, like I feelhim now you know, and then I was
like fuck.
And then my wife saw that so sheflew my daughter out because I
couldn't talk to her, you know,because she was busy with school
, yeah.
So she flew her out surprisedand I was like, oh shit, went
back up and I was like, okay, Ithink I could do this again,
like it reframes my brain workand I was good, but that was

(27:42):
like one of the biggest crashouts Damn Like I've had and I
was like fuck, money, right,right.

Speaker 2 (27:47):
Money always.

Speaker 1 (27:49):
Always Like if you're ahead of the household.
If you fail, everyone fails.
Yes, you feel me Like you gobroke the whole house goes broke
, the whole house is broke.
It's a lot of pressure.
Yeah, as a single parent, yes,have you had one of those crash
outs where you're like, fuck,this is fucking hard?
And when you did, how did youget yourself?

(28:09):
Like?

Speaker 2 (28:09):
back up again.
Yeah, I think all the time.
But I think, as I've gottenolder, right, you learn and,
like your wife did for you, yougotta do something, you gotta
interject and, like you said,not with medication, but your
daughter right Something thatmakes you happy, that reminds
you of your purpose, thosethings.
This trip, even though it's abusiness write-off, was also my

(28:32):
prevention of a burnout, right.
So I know the islands, I knowocean, I know nature, you know,
being born in the Philippines,like there's a draw for me to be
in environments like this.
And then the homies.
So I think, knowing what youneed, knowing what feeds you and

(28:53):
waters you, and injectingyourself with that before you
burn out, that's the way to goBefore you crash out, before you
burn out.

Speaker 1 (29:03):
Let me ask you this you said you felt yourself
burning out.
What were the things that, likeyou felt or you saw yourself
like, oh shit, it's happening.
Like I could see myself burningout.

Speaker 2 (29:17):
Yeah, I think that's a tough one because I've always
hustled growing up.

Speaker 1 (29:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (29:22):
My mom was a single mom.
I was like academically, a lotof pressure, did a lot of things
.
I think part I'm.
I go to therapy but I have notbeen diagnosed being on spectrum
or having adhd.
But I definitely know I havesome realms of neurodivergence
because or it could be traumainduced, but I I to feel busy, I

(29:43):
have to be busy and I thinkthat's my drug from being within
myself and my thoughts.
So signs for me is definitelylike Just give me one Snappy.
Oh.

Speaker 1 (30:00):
Like you have a short fuse.
Oh, very short fuse.

Speaker 2 (30:02):
And then I get lows Like I say oh, I'm resting, but
I literally won't leave my bedall day.
I feel so good though it does,especially now.

Speaker 1 (30:14):
So you get snappy.
When you're lows, you just stayin bed.
What gets you out of the bed?
What makes you like oh man, I'msorry for being snappy Like, do
you um?

Speaker 2 (30:25):
oh yeah, I check myself now.
Yeah, I tell my kids all thetime uh-huh, you know, our
parents snapped at us and allthat bullshit and said nothing
yeah I after I snap, I apologizefor the snap take
accountability for it right,yeah, but I say that my message
is still there.
The reason I probably snappedwas I felt overworked and
underappreciated, and when theydecided not to listen to me or

(30:49):
to not do what I said and notconsider how much I've been
carrying this family on my back,then you know that discussions
had girl, I'm glad you say that,because yesterday, um, I was
telling my like my young ones,over and over again to do the
certain tasks right, and then itcame to the point where I

(31:12):
wasn't a dick or an asshole.

Speaker 1 (31:15):
Yeah, you know what I was a dick and an asshole yes,
I was like hey, hey, do it man.
Yes, like I told you, like fouror five times, yeah, why isn,
why isn't it?
And it's like, oh, let me do it.
So it's like my wife wouldalways tell me.
It's like why do you talk tohim that way?
I was like hey, were you therewhen I asked him Four times
nicely.
I have to put the polite yeah,so I have to, so that's like my

(31:41):
snappy thing.

Speaker 2 (31:42):
Man, that's a privilege, Right, I always have
to be the bad guy.

Speaker 1 (31:47):
Right, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (31:49):
Always have to be the bad.
Well, I don't have yeah, youknow I don't have a partner to
play good cop, bad cop.

Speaker 1 (31:58):
I don't get to be the nurturing mommy I want to be
all the time, all business,mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 (32:07):
Oh, oh gosh, is it hard being like a single parent,
like throughout this whole.
I can't think about you being aparent, and with a partner now,
add times two at least.
But I'll be real, your wifeprobably does a little more than
you do.

Speaker 1 (32:16):
You just don't see everything, you know I really
don't see everything, but I tellher all the time and this is me
being like me, because I'veseen my dad was a single parent,
I've seen my dad do it I think,no, fuck that I know I could do
what she does.
It's just I gave her it's kindof fucked up but I, like I gave
her some of the responsibilitythat I know I could, but I want

(32:40):
her to do it.
And then I know there's there'ssome, there's points where her,
her responsibility would likefall through the crack and I'll
pick it.
You know like I'll handle it,but I I know I could because
I've been a single parent tooand I know I could set up the
doctor's schedules oh yeah, Iknow I could make it like I've
done.
I've done it, so I get you knowI give it to her right so, yeah,

(33:01):
when it falls through thecracks, you know I I'm the
backup, I'll do it, but I doexpect her to like be on top of
whatever she has to do youreimagine yourself being that
single parent again, chris?

Speaker 2 (33:12):
oh man I mean and multiple kids.
So that's the other thing.
Right like you were, you weresingle parent for your oldest.
I've got two 10 gap.
So I'm going throughteenagehood, I'm going through
toddlerhood, the two T's WooDoggy, I feel you Damn.

Speaker 1 (33:32):
I feel you, because you got to talk to one of them
one certain way and then theother one is just like.
You can't talk to your toddleras a teen.
Oh, there's no fucking way.

Speaker 2 (33:44):
No, you know what?
No, actually, I, oh you do so.
I'm the parent that's like.
You might as well hear cusswords from me.
We could talk about drugs.
We could talk about sex.
Those like I, rather you, comefrom a source I trust, in which
is myself, yeah Than out on thestreets.

Speaker 1 (34:06):
That from a source I trust in, which is myself, than
out on the streets.
I had this talk with mydaughter when she became of age.
We had that talk and I alsotold her I'd rather have you
have these kickbacks at the crib.

Speaker 2 (34:17):
Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 (34:19):
You know I'll bump in , I'll jump in to see you yeah,
yeah right, but I'm not going tointeract intermingle.

Speaker 2 (34:25):
Yeah, you're not going to try to be cool tito,
cool dad up in that, eh see,walk in the eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
your dad's trying to talk to meagain.
Yeah, hell, no, hell no.

Speaker 1 (34:38):
Oh my God.
But yeah, I told her like I'drather be, I'd rather have you
home than out on the street.

Speaker 2 (34:44):
Oh, hell yes, for sure.

Speaker 1 (34:46):
Yeah, I wish they told me that I wish my dad would
have told me that.

Speaker 2 (34:48):
What a nice huh, I would sneak it.
Chris.
I would have a pair of streetclothes out in the bush for them
.
Nighttime sneaks.

Speaker 1 (34:59):
Did old boy ever tell you that I jumped out of my
second story window just to goout?

Speaker 2 (35:05):
I can't.
How did you scale down?

Speaker 1 (35:08):
You just jumped, I had a big ass bush and I just
plopped on the bush.
So I walked down like this notthe ceiling, the roof, the roof
At an angle, because my windowand then there's a roof right,
oh my God.
And then right below the roofthere was like a big ass bush.
So like I landed on the bushand everything I didn't.

Speaker 2 (35:27):
Scratches.

Speaker 1 (35:28):
Not.
My jeans were, all you know, inthe green.

Speaker 2 (35:33):
It's the stalker started a new style and the
brown.
I was like fuck man, youstarted a new style.

Speaker 1 (35:38):
You're like hey bro why didn't I just fucking go
through the door like everyother person?
But yeah, so going back homewas always a fucking case
Sneaking out oh yeah, I wasalways jumping out.

Speaker 2 (35:49):
Damn, where'd y'all hang late at night?
What was the hangs?
What was the parking lot?

Speaker 1 (35:54):
So it depends on which friends I'm with Right, If
I'm with my razor friends.
It would have been in San Josein and out, ready for the in and
out, ready for the runs In andout.
If it was like just the smokingbuddies, it would have been
just maybe a parking lot or at acrib.
Yeah, that's about it.
On the weekends, though, holycrap, with old boy and his group

(36:20):
of friends.
Oh, it was far away, bound allday, every day.

Speaker 2 (36:24):
Excuse me, how come I wasn't part of those bounds?

Speaker 1 (36:27):
you were like like a sprinkle, like at the night,
though, yeah, I remember timeswhere they had to spread
themselves out with all the youknow I think we went to the
sneaky links I was single thoughI was.
I was single though, but Iremember there was a time where
we went to your crib I think itwas like your family members,
like it was a birthday party orsomething, because there was a

(36:49):
lot of people.

Speaker 2 (36:51):
And then, yeah, we went, was it my birthday?

Speaker 1 (36:53):
I don't know, I don't remember if it was your
birthday.

Speaker 2 (36:56):
Oh, Chris, you're making me try to tap into some
Did we take pictures too.

Speaker 1 (37:00):
I don't know, but this was like before.
You know camera phones andeverything.
So it might be like kiddingaway in your like Somewhere In
your Fujifilm thing, fujifilm.
But yeah, I remember thosetimes where we would link up
with you.
Oh, we went to Great America.
And then it was after GreatAmerica it was like, hey, let's
go to old girl's house.

(37:21):
I think we met you at yourschool too I'm not sure.
Damn, it's fuzzy, it's fuzzy,it's super fuzzy.
I wish we had one of those.
You know like when my memory'sgoing.
Yeah, like Harry Potter, I coulduse the wand and recall memory,
but all the times that we hungout with you, it was always a
good time.
Yeah, there was no drama.

Speaker 2 (37:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (37:41):
Or whatever.
You know what I'm saying.
Did there was no drama orwhatever.
You know what I'm saying, Didwe almost get in a fight.

Speaker 2 (37:44):
Well, I was a pick-me girl then.

Speaker 1 (37:47):
You were a pick-me what does that even mean?

Speaker 2 (37:49):
You know, a lot of women and girls are taught to
not ruffle feathers to pleasemen, and so you do things to be
a pick-me.
So you're like oh yeah, I'll dothat, that's not a problem.
Sure, oh yeah, I'll do that,that's not a problem.
Sure, oh, you guys want to goum, like drink here and go to
the races and stuff, like, ofcourse, like I'm so easy, I'm

(38:12):
low maintenance, no, don't dothat don't do that be, you
definitely set boundaries.

Speaker 1 (38:20):
Oh yeah, don't be, uh don ABG.

Speaker 2 (38:22):
Do what you want to do.
That's it.

Speaker 1 (38:25):
Did you ever consider yourself as an ABG girl?

Speaker 2 (38:27):
No, I think that's new too, isn't it?
Is it?
And also, can you define it forme?
Because there's a type and I'mnot that type.
Don't get me wrong, I do love aLouis, but I don't do the
monogram tote.

Speaker 1 (38:39):
Okay, so ABG, asian Baby Girl they're the ones with
the dyed blonde hair.
Back in the day, everything thethin eyebrows where you colored
them in no, 50% of them werelike trying to be import models.
No, no, you weren't that.

Speaker 2 (38:58):
No, you weren't that.
I wanted to race, I could drivestick.
You didn't have the voice likethis.

Speaker 1 (39:03):
Yeah, no, I wanted to be the driver.
Yeah, okay, yeah, you weren't,because I remember you had Jace
back in the day and that's whatI was like oh God, she's cool,
aw, chris, because she had Jace.

Speaker 2 (39:15):
I'm a baller though.
Okay, I'm a baller first Baller.

Speaker 1 (39:24):
Yeah, because, oh boy , I was like, hey, did she play
basketball?
She's like, yeah, I was like,oh damn, aol does a goddamn
thing.
Aol teen chat, aol was a thing.
Oh, rat battles and shit, allright, next question.
Next question.

Speaker 2 (39:33):
ASL.

Speaker 1 (39:36):
Okay, this might be a good one.
Do women respect a man forusing a condom?

Speaker 2 (39:41):
Women respect men who are proactive in safety.
Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 (39:46):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (39:48):
But we were talking about this earlier.
So I actually I would respect,I would hold on, not just
respect a man, I would get on myknees for a man If he
proactively showed me somerecent lab work that said, baby,
I'm clean, clean, clean and Igo get my shit checked.
So if you want to go above andbeyond, not just the rubber, but

(40:10):
, doctor's appointments, gettingyour prostate checked, make
sure you don't got no STDs.
Did you know, chris?
Chris, I just found this outthis month.

Speaker 1 (40:18):
Prostate as in like colonoscopy.

Speaker 2 (40:20):
All those things Because at our age we're
supposed to get that stuff.
Did you get it yet I'm.
All those things because at ourage we're supposed to get that
stuff did you get it yet?

Speaker 1 (40:29):
uh, I'm waiting till 45.
I know me too, because you knowyou could actually send your
shit in.
I'd rather do that.
I'd rather do that than havingsomething stuck in my eye.

Speaker 2 (40:32):
I'd rather just well you could do it now, before 45,
you could actually do the sendyour shit.
So take a dump, package it upand send it in the mail it's
like oh, you know what it's, itdoes.

Speaker 1 (40:44):
It sounds bad, but after wiping baby's asses oh yes
, it's like ain't shit.

Speaker 2 (40:52):
Yeah, literally ain't shit.
Um, did you know that stds cameabout because some dude wanted
to fuck an animal and thenfucked a woman?
That's the origins of STDs.

Speaker 1 (41:08):
Really.

Speaker 2 (41:08):
Yes, please, someone, can you snopes that Fact check?

Speaker 1 (41:10):
I'm going to make this into a reel or a clip and
then I'll yeah fact check thatshit.

Speaker 2 (41:15):
Yeah, so like chlamydia herpes, all that came
from animals.
Humans didn't have it until aguy decided to get freaked nasty
.

Speaker 1 (41:25):
It was a guy, not a woman.
Do better, y'all Do better Dobetter.

Speaker 2 (41:30):
Come on, man, do better, y'all Get tested.
Do better, wear your rubbersOkay.

Speaker 1 (41:35):
Before I got married I got tested twice a year.

Speaker 2 (41:38):
That's Chris.
Is that good?
Yes, okay, cause you're like.
Normalize that, please, oh man,I hated it.
Or every time you change apartner, let's be real.

Speaker 1 (41:46):
So if you're very active, even with the sneaky
links, please, oh true, okayyeah alright oh, definitely,
yeah, twice a year January,january, january or June or June
or December is one of those two, like in the middle see, yeah,
but I hated it.
I hated the process.

Speaker 2 (42:05):
Really, what do you guys have to do?
How do you, how do guys have toget tested?

Speaker 1 (42:09):
Now it's different.

Speaker 2 (42:11):
Did you swab your pee hole the inside?
You have to stick a cute ohokay, I see why you, oh, we got
bigger holes.
I see why it's like first ohpee, pee.

Speaker 1 (42:20):
It's like Swab Doctor's there, cool, All right,
then Hold down your pants.
Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool,cool cool.

Speaker 2 (42:27):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (42:27):
Then they swab the tip.
Okay, cool, swabbing the tip,all right, kind of cold, don't
mind the shrinkage, all right.
Then they open the hole.

Speaker 2 (42:49):
I'm like, okay, what's going on here?
This is a very so.

Speaker 1 (42:51):
This is the first time that I've got check right,
they open the hole.

Speaker 2 (42:53):
Then you know how um q-tips right, yeah, how big
q-tips are.

Speaker 1 (42:54):
They're like they're thick, they're thicker than your
hole.
This in length, oh yeah, thatone.
So imagine a q-tip.
I'm gonna say this long oh yeah, oh, my god, okay, I'm gonna
start crying because it was sopainful, so you put it in and
then they go and it's like I'mgonna say it feels like an

(43:14):
eternity, but it's only like 15seconds of oh my god, the whole
time you're like.
And then the worst part is when,because when they pull it out
because you're like, becauseyou're like, so I was like, so
pull it out, and then put it ina fucking ziploc bag and call it
a day and yeah, so my veryfirst time I was like in tears.

(43:37):
I wasn't crying like a bitch oranything, but I was in tears
and I was like dog, dog, man, Ineed, I need a blunt or
something that test or COVIDtest.
I'd rather do a COVID.
I'd rather take COVID test.
Yeah, no, for sure, okay so.

Speaker 2 (43:52):
I can have.
What does a female go through?
It's the same, but we have abigger hole.
But we have to get this clampcold ass metal clamp and it goes
.

Speaker 1 (44:04):
It goes like it opens vertically, or is it horizontal
?

Speaker 2 (44:06):
Well, it's only two prong.
So, whichever way they put itin, it's like when you're
getting checked, right, yeah,okay, yeah, they swab two with
the same Q-tip, but you have atiny hole.

Speaker 1 (44:17):
Yeah and then it's a smaller See so I get why men
don't test.
Often that's excruciating, Likewhen you pee.
So when I peed and this is whatthe doctor told me afterwards
when you pee you're going tohave blood, blood and it stings
Like the very first time Becauseyou're scraping a thin membrane
.

Speaker 2 (44:38):
Oh bro, we got into some literally deep shit with it
, deep shite.

Speaker 1 (44:43):
Well, for females it's just.
And then Clamp, yeah, and thenyes.
Is that how it is nowadays?
Oh, but that's our pap smears.
That's what we regularly haveto get.
So we go, we do so.
When you get your pap smear,you're doing SCD simultaneously
Might as well.

Speaker 2 (44:57):
I order it.
Yeah, you're already in there,uh-huh In Lake and, like flint,
get it all done, get it all done, all done right here, right now
I'm not coming back next week.
I'm not coming back next month.

Speaker 1 (45:11):
Get it over with now, are you big on um with your
kids?
Are you big on like theiryearly checkups, or do they go
twice a year and all thatbusiness?
Oh, that's regular why do youthink parents uh like skip a a
year or two, no, so so how old'syour youngest?

Speaker 2 (45:30):
uh six yeah, so I think they changed it, because I
swear now like, do you rememberwell, with your younger ones?
It's like I literally feel likein the first few years where I
was every month and then likeevery at least three months and
then six months, and then everyyear till like way into every
month, and then like every atleast three months and then six
months, and then every year tilllike way into elementary school
and it's like every three yearsNow they skip it, like my son's

(45:52):
four, but he didn't have athree-year-old appointment.

Speaker 1 (45:54):
Oh really.

Speaker 2 (45:55):
They didn't require it.
Huh, isn't that crazy.

Speaker 1 (45:58):
Uh-huh.

Speaker 2 (45:58):
So I don't know.
I think they're changing it upa bit, Because I think there's
virtual visits now.
Unless there's major issues,you don't really need to go the
way insurance and Medicare ishappening right now.
I think there's just changes.

Speaker 1 (46:15):
Did you like the virtual visits or would you
rather see an actual doctornurse in front of you?

Speaker 2 (46:32):
Well, I think I like the virtual visits, for at least
like oops, check me like I'm,I'm anxious, I'm a web md, I'm a
hypochondriac, so but I'm alsopretty good at spotting when
something's wrong.
I think most parents are yourchildren completely change vibes
when they're sick yes, trueright energy.
So I don't mind it, because atleast I know in the next few
hours someone's going to check.
Then they can order like go tourgent care, come to my office,
We'll squeeze you in, right,Having to like make an

(46:54):
appointment.
And you got to, they're like,oh, you got to wait a day or two
.
It's like what the fuck?
This kid's sick right now.
Yeah Right, yeah Right.
So I'm cool, I'll take avirtual.

Speaker 1 (47:04):
You'll take a virtual Mm-hmm.
Virtuals are good too.
I just, I guess I'm just soused to seeing, like getting an
answer, seeing the person's likefacial expression tone and
everything yeah.
Right then and there.
So I like the in-person, butvirtual is super convenient
because you could be anywhereand just oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (47:25):
Yeah, yeah, facts, facts.
Okay, check time.
Oh, we're still good.

Speaker 1 (47:29):
All right, here's another one.
All right, you and I weretalking.
You've never got blocked, butyou've been doing the blocking.

Speaker 2 (47:37):
I'm the blocker.

Speaker 1 (47:38):
You are the blocker, so she's the blocker.
Huh, as you're blocking certainpeople, what goes, what's the
process, what goes through inyour head to where when you tap
that this phone screen?
Yeah, what goes through in yourhead?

Speaker 2 (47:58):
yeah, I part of me why I block.
Yeah, one of the main reasons Iblock uh-huh is.
I'm that messy girl.
I can't just leave you alone,so I have to block for me oh,
that's different yes, so I'mblocking you, but it's so.
I don't go in your dms, I don'tgo in your stories, I don't go
your emails, I don't gosearching for you on google.

(48:19):
I don't go stalking you makingGoogle.
I don't go stalking you makingmy own self crazy.

Speaker 1 (48:23):
Wow, that's different .

Speaker 2 (48:25):
Blocking is a boundary for me, so it's like
girl, let him go.
You have no access.
He has no access.
He can't come breadcrumbing aweek later being like, hey, baby
, I miss you.
So there's no point of return.

Speaker 1 (48:42):
Oh, so it's for your own benefit.
Has there been a block, ablocked person?

Speaker 2 (48:49):
like finding a way to get back to you, listen in ways
if I blocked you and you founda way back to me, I'm gonna
applaud you and I'm gonna giveyou a chance, because how?
Oh, it's right like how youtook extra effort to find a way
outside of, because I blockedthe usual right phone and email

(49:09):
doesn't necessarily happen umsocial media right, yeah so if I
block you on those mainchannels, but you find your way
in?
oh, you were thinking about me,right, or you made a little
extra right, you made an extraeffort, like there's an
appreciation, but also I'm likeoh, you a little crazy too.

(49:29):
So you know, you gotta crazyyeah right, you gotta wait, wait
your options, but um, yeah, I,I'm the crazy one.
Oh so, in order to keep mysanity, to not look crazy and to
not get myself crazy, I need toblock you.
So there's no access andthere's no weakness factor.

Speaker 1 (49:51):
When did you find out that you were the crazy one and
not, it wasn't them?
And how did you?
How did you know?
It was like?
Yeah this is it's me.

Speaker 2 (50:00):
Well, I'll call you out that.
So I say crazy, crazy.
But I've learned throughtherapy.
I have anxious attachmentbecause I had, yes, um,
physically, mentally,emotionally abusive dad.
My mom was also his own victim,so like she was distant, not
typical loving moms and there.

(50:21):
So as an anxious attachmentperson, you, you didn't get love
the healthy way growing up yeahso you're not secure.
When you look for a partner,every little thing that you
notice you're already in yourhead like they're gonna leave
you oh, oh, yeah it yeah, youknow your text doesn't get
responded to right away.

(50:42):
It's that extreme.
It's that extreme.
I swear we were just texting.
He said he was taking a shitand now he's ignoring me.
Like who else is he juggling?
Is he over me?
You notice shifts in energyimmediately, right, you clock a
regular cadence with someone youstart talking to and the minute
it's the next response is likefour hours later.

(51:05):
You, you're thinking, and thereason you do that is because
you had emotionally unavailableparents, or really crazy parents
, drug addicts, anything.

Speaker 1 (51:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (51:16):
So your survival skill was to understand pattern
in order to protect yourself,understand pattern in order to
protect yourself.
So, um yeah, it's not that I'mcrazy, it's that I have anxious
attachment and I'm a lover girllike I have.
I still have crazy dreams ofjust like falling in love, fairy
tale, you know, finding my lifepartner and love partner, and

(51:39):
just the I love rom-coms, allthat bullshit, but that that
those dreams aren't reality yeahso I have to huh I have to
block at this age in your life?

Speaker 1 (51:53):
are you able to?
Or are you still that girlwhere you want that happy fairy
tale tall ending?
Yeah, Like it doesn't stop,especially with oh, that's good,
I'm hopeful.

Speaker 2 (52:06):
Oh, that's good, chris, I'm losing hope.

Speaker 1 (52:08):
Oh don't, oh, there's like a billion more guys.

Speaker 2 (52:11):
I know, but I'm such an introvert and I'm such a
bitch on the streets I don'tsmile.
I look in the ground.
I only look up to make eyecontact when there's men,
because I'm telling them hey, Icould tell I could spot you in a
lineup, so don't you try shit.
That's my bitch eyes.
And then I'm back down on theground.

Speaker 1 (52:29):
It's like no, no, what gets your fancy, like what
attracts you.
Then when you're walking, yeah,can a guy just give you the
simple eye contact and be likehey, good morning, and then just
keep on going.

Speaker 2 (52:45):
Are you talking about physical?

Speaker 1 (52:47):
Just whatever.

Speaker 2 (52:49):
I think it's an energy thing, chris, because if
I look at how what I've beenattracted to, it's very varied,
like I can't find the pattern.
Well, I have some patterns, youdon't have a type.
I like brown skin okay.
Brown skin pop it Brown skin popit, brown skin pop it.
I used to have my white boyphase, but and not, you know,
not to stereotype white people.

(53:10):
But you know your familiesbrush things under the ground.
You're not very communicative.
Y'all had, you know, in societya higher foundation and
baseline to work off of, so youdon't necessarily understand
struggle, and sometimes baselineto work off of, so you don't
necessarily understand struggle.
Um, and sometimes theunseasoning just don't work with
my seasoning, right, it's justa little the bland doesn't work
with my spicy, so that's a,that's, that's a good contract

(53:32):
also too, um, I don't know, andyou've probably seen that one
girl talks about that, one whitegirl.
She was on a pod.
She talked about how she justshampoos her hair and lets it
run and then she thinks she'sdone with her shower I've seen
that bruh.
So a lot of european descentpeople are.
You know, I think they'reraised that white is the closest

(53:54):
to cleansiness and then likethey're just not.
They're not washcloth people,they're not like shower and get
it done.
European baths the reason it'scalled a European bath where you
just perfume yourself.
Yeah, that has some kind oforigin.
That's a thing.
Yes, I sat next to a goodlooking man on the plane, not
this ride, but in LA.

Speaker 1 (54:13):
Yeah, funk For a business trip.

Speaker 2 (54:16):
He had funk, he had funk and mm-mm.

Speaker 1 (54:20):
But to him that's just natural.

Speaker 2 (54:22):
Probably, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (54:24):
Would you ever want someone to tell you like girl.

Speaker 2 (54:27):
Yes, always.
Okay, I'm a very transparentperson.
Don't stab me in the back, stabme in the front.
To me, true friends, people whocare about you, tell you up
front, girl, you smelling funky.

Speaker 1 (54:40):
Yeah, it's like, mm, you got something in your teeth
about.
You tell you a friend, girl,you smelling funky.
Yeah, it's like you got somenew teeth.
Um, why you act like that?
I know I do that a lot.
It's like hey, man, what do youlike like that, talk to me.
I guess for guys it's just.
It's just different the way wecommunicate, so let me ask you
okay, yeah, yeah, I want to hearthis.

Speaker 2 (54:57):
Can we go?

Speaker 1 (54:58):
with communication.
So now that we're at this age,it's communicating with other
people.
Has it been easier or is itstill hard, like you have?

Speaker 2 (55:09):
to beat around the bush.
It's hard, is it really?
No, I don't beat around thebush, but I feel like I think
I'm over communicative Becauseyou're transparent Like.

Speaker 1 (55:19):
Is that the transparency?

Speaker 2 (55:20):
Yes, yes, I think that's part my personality, like
I don't.
I think too it's my upbringing.
My dad was full of secrets, sofor me I'm very like I'm open.
I don't.
When I'm in a friendship or arelationship, I want you to
fully trust me and not have anyconcern, because that's what I

(55:43):
would want in return.
Yeah, so I'm overly like when Idate guys and some guy comes
knocking whatever some guy datedyears ago, tries getting up in
my dms or texts like hey, andI'm like bye, even though I
reacted in a very respectful way, I still tell my my man hey,
just by the way, someone triedto hit me up.

(56:04):
I just want you to know,because I don't want you getting
in my text messages or DMs andbeing like what the fuck is this
?
But then some guys look at mecrazy, like why'd you tell me
this?
Do you want me to get jealous?
And I'm like I'm that guy.
Oh see, that's crazy, chris, I'mthat guy, so you would be like
don't ask, don't tell.
That's the type of person I amyeah, it's not good, chris, I

(56:30):
can't help that I'm still abaddie, okay, and my man better
know that shit.
And remember I mean it's goodyou don't want to respect the
fact that I'm open about it.

Speaker 1 (56:40):
No, no, it's good that you're open, but some guys
like me it's just like oh, youknow, thank you for letting me
know, but you don't have to oh,because it made you feel some
type of way.

Speaker 2 (56:48):
Huh, I don't know like this dude trying to get up
on your lady and now you're alittle angry I wouldn't be angry
it's.

Speaker 1 (56:55):
It's more of like a compliment to me.
You know it's like oh yeah, yougot a baddie.

Speaker 2 (56:59):
Yeah, exactly, that's why are you upset.
Oh, you're not, but you'resaying some guys would.

Speaker 1 (57:03):
Yeah, some guys would , but for me.
So my wife gets DMs too.
I wouldn't want to know aboutit, but I just know that she got
it, she's going to handle it.
Yeah, she'll handle it.
Oh, that's good.
But, if it gets to a pointwhere it like lightweight
stalker-ish.

Speaker 2 (57:21):
Then I'll go.
Oh yeah, Then you need to stepin.

Speaker 1 (57:23):
It's more of a like all right, I'm going to see how
you handle it, but how aboutearly in the relationship with
her?
Oh my gosh, I was a walking redflag.

Speaker 2 (57:30):
I know you mentioned it.

Speaker 1 (57:32):
I was a walking red flag, I guess for me.

Speaker 2 (57:33):
I do it early in a relationship because I'm like
you can trust me, kind of thingLike.

Speaker 1 (57:40):
I'm going to handle myself.
That's good.

Speaker 2 (57:41):
But then guys get upset.

Speaker 1 (57:44):
Maybe it's because you've just given out too much
information at the beginning ofwhat it's supposed to be before.

Speaker 2 (57:54):
You know like instead of in the middle or at the end,
right, right, right.

Speaker 1 (57:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (57:57):
I guess you know everyone thinks different, right
?
Oh definitely.
You know everyone thinksdifferent, right?
Oh definitely.
But I mean, don't men want toknow that they're they're,
they're, lady, a baddie, thatyou know they've got someone on
their arm that other people wantlike?
Isn't that something guys like,or no?

Speaker 1 (58:13):
not a lot of guys so it don't it's, it's weird.

Speaker 2 (58:17):
No, it's super weird, because when me so, you were
attracted to someone and you'relike but if other men are
attracted, you don't be like ah,she with me, You're more like
upset.
Oh, I'm so confused, Neverupset.

Speaker 1 (58:33):
I'm going to tell you a story, not a story, a
scenario, true life, real lifescenario.
So there was a Sit for this onescenario, okay, so there was a
um sit for this one before mywife, my wife, became my wife,
she was my girl we went to aclub, uh, and we, uh, we parted.
We I was here, she was there,okay.

(58:54):
So she went to the bar, she gothit on and I'm, I'm watching.
I'm like, okay, cool, cool,cool, I'm not going to be like,
oh man, who's this motherfucker?
She comes back.
She told me that you know therewas a guy hitting on her.
I was like, oh, cool, cool,give me a drink too.

Speaker 2 (59:12):
Like, while you're at it, while you're at it, give me
another one.

Speaker 1 (59:17):
So it happened, he got me you know, she got me a
drink.
It was more of a okay, like shehandled it her way, you know,
instead of me having tointerject and be like, hey, man,
she with me, like I want to seethat, so that it just tells me
like if I'm away and she's likeat a supermarket, she knows how
to handle herself, you know.
So I guess that's why, and alsoI've been cheated on a lot.

(59:42):
So, like back in the day, I'vebeen cheated on.
If I don't and this is like forparticular guys like me if I
don't know, and I know it'sgoing to hurt me I'd rather not
know.
Interesting Damn, I'm opposedto.
I know women want to know everydetail in a guy.

Speaker 2 (59:59):
No, so I just need to know.
I just need to know, I justneed to know.
Okay, part of me is like Idon't need to know about.
It's not that I don't need toknow about cheating, but I need
to know that you're out, you'reemotionally done oh, emotionally
like don't even put us in theplace where you gotta cheat just
fucking leave, uh-huh break myheart and go and I'll block you

(01:00:19):
and move on bye.

Speaker 1 (01:00:21):
You know what I mean yeah, I yeah, but it's a whole
communication thing though,right?
Community circle back it's allabout communicate very well why
is that?
chris, I don't know.
Let me tell you another story.
This happened a few days ago.
I had a fallout with one of myum, one of my close relatives.
I had a fallout, pretty bad one, and um, like my wife well,

(01:00:43):
just call tiff.
I'm getting tired of saying mywife, yeah, uh, tiff.
She saw a whole differentdemeanor because I told her I
was like yo, this happened andshe was like, oh, you're cool.
I was like, yeah, I'm all right.
Yeah, so we walked the kids toschool, we're walking back and
she you know, she notices thelittle thing.
Yeah, I'm like, oh, what'swrong?
I'm like none, I'm cool, yeah.
And she's like, oh, is it thisand this?

(01:01:04):
I was like, uh, it's stuff.
So that's me not beingcommunicated, right, right, but
she knew she knows, yes, thisfallout.

Speaker 2 (01:01:11):
I mean because you guys have have a relationship
and have at some point in life.
She's seen you go through that,so she knows some.
She knows your vibe, yourenergy, yeah, so things like
that.

Speaker 1 (01:01:21):
so if something's bothering me like that way, she
shouldn't think that I'm goingto cheat on her or nothing.
It's just me and my feels Justtrying to process, because I
told her from the get aftergoing to therapy.
I'm the type of person that ifI'm not saying nothing while
you're talking to me it'sbecause I'm processing.

(01:01:42):
It's not because if I say thefirst thing that comes out of my
mouth, there's going to be likethere's a conflict.
But if I'm processing I knowwhat to say strategically to
where it's not going to come outargumentative.

Speaker 2 (01:01:54):
But how did you guys get to that place?
So that's the.
You know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (01:01:57):
You've been together for so long years of her knowing
like, uh, what is it herknowing my, my quirks, you know.
So if I'm fitting to get in anargumentative mood or whatnot,
she knows I'm quiet.
So it's it's either in hercourt to where keep on pressing,

(01:02:21):
or, okay, I'm gonna back upspace, okay.
So my therapist told me that Icould control myself.
But I can't control otherpeople you you know.
So if you and I got into it,I'll say my piece and maybe that
might be it.
I just said that one, you knowthat one paragraph of words, yep
, and then you could come backat me and I'm just, I'm gonna be
quiet because, one, I'mprocessing, two, it's like I'm

(01:02:43):
controlling myself.
She's, she could, she's goingto hurt me, but I could.
I'm like, okay, cause, that'sthat's.
I think a lot of guys thinkthat way.

Speaker 2 (01:02:52):
Yeah, I can see that, I can see that, but I guess and
this, maybe this is where Ineed your advice right?
You and tiff have been togetherfor a long time, long time.
Um, I think my longestrelationship was five years okay
, that's so good I guess half of10 but halfway in I was out
emotionally I was done.

Speaker 1 (01:03:14):
I was trying to give him a chance to make it right so
all the so, maybe all thechances that you've given it
just got suspended, you andyou're like, all right, I'm done
.

Speaker 2 (01:03:24):
Well, I guess it's like how much do you give and
take if you know what you needand it's not?
Like I'm here with, like yougot to be six to million dollar
net worth bullshit, right, itwould be so nice.
Bullshit, right, it's nice,would be so nice.

(01:03:47):
Um, you know, it's certainthings like communication style,
emotional availability, like Idon't know.
I just I think that's where Ilose hope, because I just don't
know if people have that anymoreor at least I'm attracting
something.
Yeah, there's something about melike moth to a flame, I'm the
flame.
I I feel like I'm soemotionally, like expressive and

(01:04:08):
verbal and loud, and I tend toattract people that are shut off
because there's an attractionto that.
I can do something that theycan't, but that gets me in a
fucking catch-22 I think you oneone day you're gonna match
someone that's gonna match yourenergy all right, I think that's
somebody gonna match my freakno, but I think that's, I think

(01:04:29):
that I, but I think that's.

Speaker 1 (01:04:33):
You just need someone to match what you're putting
out.
Yeah, you know, because you areright, the opposite does it.
You do attract, oh god damn,you do attract the opposite and
I think that's what's beenhappening to you for like years,
years and also now, I think,guys, men, they're more, and it

(01:04:53):
depends on what type of men,right right, but they're more
attentive.
Now it depends which ones,though okay you feel me so, the
attentive ones, the ones thatI'm talking about, like they
could recognize how you knowyou're so out there, damn it dad
.

Speaker 2 (01:05:10):
It's okay, we got this.

Speaker 1 (01:05:11):
Okay, okay, we'll close it, yes, but to finish my
point, there's a lot of guys outthere that they know what they
want, so they would communicatethat with you.
So let's say you are justverbally going at it, right, the
man would be able to be like,hey, you're doing a little too
much.
How about we just kick it backand then let's calm down with

(01:05:33):
being expressive?
And I know that's you, I'm nottrying to change you.
However, let me get to whereyou're at, because I'm not there
yet.
But then that's someone that'slike super descriptive.
Yeah, he probably reads.
He probably needs someone thatreads.
I need someone that reads, thathas a vast vocabulary.

Speaker 2 (01:05:50):
Who has time to read at this age?

Speaker 1 (01:05:52):
Oh my God, you can't just list audiobooks?

Speaker 2 (01:05:55):
Okay, audiobooks, you can't do that shit.

Speaker 1 (01:05:56):
I'm good with that Damn this shit will fucking turn
off should.

Speaker 2 (01:06:02):
I pause, pause, pause start over and we're back.

Speaker 1 (01:06:07):
My shit turned off, but it's okay because we finna
wrap up.
We're talking aboutcommunication, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:06:14):
I was asking you advice as a happily married
person.

Speaker 1 (01:06:20):
As a happily married man, I still don't have it all
together.

Speaker 2 (01:06:24):
I mean we're human right, oh we're definitely human
how much room.
Do you leave for error With me?
You know.

Speaker 1 (01:06:33):
There were times where, like I was done, I was
like I was mentally done, butthen I think it was because I
was in my feels Like, oh, Icould be doing this, I could be
doing this.

Speaker 2 (01:06:42):
I could be doing that .

Speaker 1 (01:06:43):
But then something clicks, that's my bipolar.
Something clicks to where I'mlike oh shit.
And then I would read a meme orI would watch like a reel and
saying you know what, you arelucky.
And I'm like, okay, there itgoes, there you go.
That's like that little switch.
You know what I'm saying?
That's like that little switch.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, and it's not me watching.

Speaker 2 (01:07:02):
TV.
It's just no Something.
I'm just listening to somethingmotivational.
You're attentive or you'relistening to the universe,
because the universe is servingyou.
Up that message and you'repaying attention?

Speaker 1 (01:07:11):
Oh, I just thought it's just.

Speaker 2 (01:07:13):
Right Gratitude and appreciation.

Speaker 1 (01:07:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:07:15):
And things like that.

Speaker 1 (01:07:17):
Mm-hmm in me because you know, man, it fucking sucks.
I watch a lot of like I don'tknow, like unfortunate shit.
Yeah, yeah, it's on my TikTokfeed and I'm like damn, that
kind of sucks.
Like I'm glad I'm in theposition where I'm at.
Yeah, yeah, so when I watchlike when a TikTok feed, when a

(01:07:39):
TikTok story comes up, it bringsme back to where you know.
So I guess that's one of mycoping mechanisms.

Speaker 2 (01:07:45):
That's not even coping.
I'm just like.
I feel like that's a smart wayto live life.
Oh, just when you're down, beopen to messages.

Speaker 1 (01:07:54):
Oh my gosh.
Oh, it's great how you saymessages, right, because I've
been watching Vikings lately, oh, and it's like know odin be
coming down with that go outagain oh ah, we got this one
though, okay, okay.
Okay, back up to the backup.

(01:08:20):
Okay, um vik to the back up.
B Okay, vikings.
I was watching Vikings.
We're going to wrap up soon.
I was watching Vikings.
Odin would always send a raven.
I love Odin, raven would.
It's like a message to a personthat's praying to the higher
gods and he or she would go offthat.

(01:08:42):
Yep.
So yeah, that's mine.
How about you?
What messages?

Speaker 2 (01:08:49):
Every day is a message.

Speaker 1 (01:08:50):
Oh really.

Speaker 2 (01:08:51):
Every day, Every day.
That's how I wake up.
So coping mechanisms I meditate.

Speaker 1 (01:08:56):
Oh really.

Speaker 2 (01:08:57):
Morning and night I use an app because my brain's
loud and messy, just like I am.
It's sighted out and an apphelps me, like I'll find
something like I need an app forgratitude, I need an app for
energy, I need an app for loveand things like that, and or
meditation, and it'spre-recorded.

(01:09:18):
It's experts, they walk youthrough it, they have binarial
sounds or certain frequenciesthat are supposed to like change
your brain and body chemistry.
And every day to me is amessage.
There's a message in everythingyour mcdonald's french fries,
the stop sign, the song thatpops on the radio.
Everything's a message.

(01:09:39):
You just have to be receptiveto seeing it.

Speaker 1 (01:09:43):
Ah, but you can't take all messages.
No, no, no, not.

Speaker 2 (01:09:47):
You know, things happen, A bug happens, whatever
A sign happens.
But if you need the message,you ask for it and it'll appear.

Speaker 1 (01:09:55):
Huh, the almighty.

Speaker 2 (01:09:57):
The almighty, almighty.
Okay, I have one question.
We don't have to answer it, butI'd love for you to ask guys on
your pod when they come on aremen intimidated by a very
successful woman?

Speaker 1 (01:10:10):
Oh, I think I had this discussion.
I think we are very intimidatedbecause that's why my chances
are a very like successfulheadstrong woman, a very
successful headstrong woman.
And guys believe in thatbecause we feel less superior,

(01:10:32):
we were processed or we aregroomed to be like the man Right
Right.
When that shit's flip-flopped,we are in unfamiliar territory
to where.
What the fuck are we supposed?

Speaker 2 (01:10:47):
to do now step up.

Speaker 1 (01:10:47):
Yeah, oh, man, you could step up, but what if we
can't?
You know, like what if womendon't give us the time?

Speaker 2 (01:10:53):
okay, I see that, I see that, I see that you know,
step up to where your status is.

Speaker 1 (01:10:59):
Sometimes men fell short, fall short and they don't
even want to try.
However, there's guys out thereand I'm one of them that, all
right, shit, I'm gonna embracebeing down here and I'm gonna,
like, make sure she's good towhere she's progressing, to
where, if she needs fucking hershoes clean or her or her uh,

(01:11:19):
dry clean, her clothes dryclean'm going to do that because
that's my role now you feel me.
You the man bro?
Oh no, dude Cater to you?
Okay, no, because I've been towhere, like I'm alpha right now,
right, and I've seen what mywife does and I'm like, damn, I
want to be home with the kids.
I like cooking, why can't Icook?

(01:11:40):
You know I like cooking.
Why can't I cook?
You know?
I'm saying I like the houseclean, yeah, and like she has
her own way of cleanliness, Ihave my own way.
Therefore, it's like, okay, Iwant the house clean to my
standards, right, I want to seeher like how far she can go.
So I would definitely love totake a back seat and let her go,
right.
Yep, because I've been in thatalpha role.

(01:12:01):
So I think men and also it's anego thing too when a man sees
his woman doing better, then itbecomes a competition, right,
right.
Men hate to lose.

Speaker 2 (01:12:13):
therefore, when the woman's status better, so you
can win right, but not a lot ofguys think like that.
Guys are still.
I'm Guys are still.

Speaker 1 (01:12:22):
I'm the man I got to make the money.
It's on me.

Speaker 2 (01:12:25):
Yep, you know, instead of hey, we can do this
50-50 and we can still survive,power and elevate each other to
make millions, like right.

Speaker 1 (01:12:34):
Exactly so.
That's why I think, what werewe talking about, chris?

Speaker 2 (01:12:41):
Are men intimidated by successful women?

Speaker 1 (01:12:44):
yeah, I think that's why men are intimidated with
successful women, because we weare not known to taking that
backseat.

Speaker 2 (01:12:52):
We're always the driver, not the princess right,
but I do want to remind men,when you meet a single woman in
her middle age, she's had had todrive.

Speaker 1 (01:13:01):
Oh yeah, she's the driver.

Speaker 2 (01:13:02):
So I didn't have a chance to take a backseat.

Speaker 1 (01:13:05):
I think it's one of those things where, when a woman
matches a guy after beingsingle for so long, it's more of
a.
It's like a toe-to-toe thing,like you come into the
relationship to where you knowwhat she's bringing.
She knows what you're bringing,so now it's an uplifting thing,

(01:13:28):
right?
You got to lift each other upinstead of putting someone down,
right?
Unless that's like the guy'sthing, like I love it.
When you can't do this shitwon't bet.
Let me show you.
That's like the type of personI am.

Speaker 2 (01:13:34):
Yeah, I need I gotta put me down to where I like.
Oh yeah, I need to flourish,you know?

Speaker 1 (01:13:39):
yeah, hell yeah that's the type of person I am,
so I think that answers yourquestion.
Yeah, sure, yeah, men just getintimidated and we don't like
that Because we're supposed tobe like the king.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:13:50):
Oh, single forever then, chris, I don't know what
to tell you.
I like money, I like safety, Ilike paying my bills.

Speaker 1 (01:13:58):
I like retirement.

Speaker 2 (01:13:59):
I like retirement.
I like retirement, I like nicethings.

Speaker 1 (01:14:02):
Shit Karen, that was fun.

Speaker 2 (01:14:03):
Aw.

Speaker 1 (01:14:03):
Chris, I know girl, where can these people find you
at?

Speaker 2 (01:14:09):
And do you have any shout-outs before we dip?
Yeah, shout-outs to my familia,for you know, supporting me in
my business endeavors, and myfriends who are always
encouraging me, and I'm on IGand TikTok Thrilla de Manila.
Thrilla de Manila.
Ma'am, my pod that Chris hadmentioned is Hoops Off.
We're currently on a hiatusbecause our production company

(01:14:31):
went bankrupt, but you know.

Speaker 1 (01:14:33):
Hey, it happens too We'll be back.

Speaker 2 (01:14:35):
I still yap about basketball, the WNBA, cultural
things, so hit me up.

Speaker 1 (01:14:42):
Yeah, give her a follow.
Please give her a follow.
Please give her a follow.
Hoop Self is pretty good.
I was listening to some of thatshit.

Speaker 2 (01:14:46):
Oh my God, I know.

Speaker 1 (01:14:47):
Yeah.
I was like I know that voice,but this is after you.
Yeah, this was after I knewabout you.
And then I was like, okay, letme listen to this shit.
I was like this is fuckingentertaining.

Speaker 2 (01:15:00):
It is.
I was like this is fuckingentertaining.
So yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:15:02):
so I subscribed and I'm like, so wasn't it, Luminary
?
Yeah, Luminary, get your shittogether.
Please Put my girl back on thepod.

Speaker 2 (01:15:11):
Put her back on the airwaves, we'll find another
production.
Yeah yeah, there's a lot Womenin sports media is blowing up,
so I definitely see the podcoming back and getting funded.

Speaker 1 (01:15:23):
I can see that too.
Yeah, I mean, who doesn't liketo see like a fresh face?
I don't understand.
Yeah, with that being said,kosudos, thank you for the
lovely home.
Rafi Bai, thank you always forthe beats man, and with that,
I'm Chris, I'm Karen, we outthis bitch Peace.