May 10, 2024 • 44 mins
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"Murdering Malachi" is a special limited series by The Redacted Podcast, produced by Matt Bender and Pamela Bender.
In this episode, we go to Lehigh Acres, Florida, where the sun shines on the abandoned subdivisions and the echoes of a turbulent past. Our guide, Malachi, a man of resilience and raw honesty, opens the doors to his life – a life carved out on the edge of existence, with his trailer, his car, and his cat Stinkers.
Malachi's tale unfolds against the backdrop of a landscape that mirrors his own complexities – a place caught between progress and neglect, wealth and desolation. His narrative is a mosaic of struggle, survival, and the search for peace, from the streets of North Philadelphia to the quiet isolation of his Floridian homestead. As we navigate through the potholes of his past, we encounter the demons that haunt the corners of his world.
In a candid conversation, Malachi confronts the nature of trauma, the battle for emotional growth, and the scars that map his body and soul. His voice, tinged with both humor and pain, challenges us to reconsider our perceptions of strength, vulnerability, and the human capacity for change.
Join us at Esmeralda's Cuban Bakery, where the aroma of sweet coffee blends with the bittersweet reflections on control, identity, and the delicate balance between vice and virtue. This episode is not just a story; it's a testament to the indomitable spirit of one man and a piercing look at the America that often remains unseen.
Help Malachi Rebuild His Life (Please note: This is specifically for Malachi's fundraiser - not a donation to the podcast - the link to donate to the show is below.)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is my story, this is my song.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
I went to visit Malachi on a perfectly sunny
South Florida day in February of2024.
My friend Chris offered to comealong and help me record, so he
also gets credit for helpingproduce this episode.
Thanks, chris.
But anyway, we hopped in thetruck and headed the two hours
south to visit Malachi.
(00:31):
About 30 minutes east of all thebeaches, resorts, melting
margaritas, tiki bars andpostcard pictures of Fort Myers
sits a town called Lehigh Acres.
This area was originallypurchased as a cattle ranch by a
Chicago businessman.
In the 1950s he used it as atax shelter.
Eventually, the area startedbeing developed into residential
(00:55):
communities, a haven fornorthern snowbirds seeking to
escape the icy, cold northernwinters.
That plan failed and thousandsof lots and empty subdivisions,
complete with roads, satabandoned for years to come.
If you've ever seen land orlots for sale in South Florida
at a shockingly low price,chances are it's in Lehigh Acres
(01:19):
.
In 1992, the area was declaredblighted by Lee County and plans
were made to improve thedevelopment and infrastructure.
It wasn't really until the realestate boom of 2006 that any
real progress was made.
Today the city sits at acrossroads of newer, wealthier
(01:41):
developments that are closer tothe beaches and Interstate 75,
of newer, wealthier developmentsthat are closer to the beaches
and Interstate 75, and theeastern edge, consisting of
still-abandoned subdivisions andhaphazard farmettes.
Malachi lives on one of thesefarmettes where he rents some
space from the owner of theproperty A tiny little spot for
(02:03):
his trailer, his car himself andhis cat stinkers.
After driving east from 75 towhat seemed like the middle of
Florida or maybe even the edgeof it, we reached our turn.
The road to the farmetteproperty was gravel, or more
accurately, dirt, withtreacherous potholes that could
swallow a small car whole.
Seriously, they were huge, butluckily enough I drove my truck.
(02:28):
I dodged some fallen palm trees, almost bottomed out my truck a
few times and made it to thegate of the property and saw him
standing there waving us in.
I headed down the driveway andhe told me that he lived in a
trailer, which I assumed to besomething similar to a camper,
(02:48):
but it definitely was not.
From the Redacted Podcast, I'mMatt Bender and this is
Murdering Malachi, episode 3.
Here's the thing.
Life's a bitch.
You're better looking than me.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
I'm not better looking Like one of you got to
be ugly.
I'm just saying One of y'allgot to be ugly, Damn.
Give me some balance here.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Malachi is on the shorter side, maybe 5'7 or 5'8,
and stands stout wearing a baggybrown t-shirt, jeans and a
tattered hat.
Despite being a self-proclaimedcity boy most of his life, he
actually fits in here, if Ididn't know better.
He kind of looks like a farmer.
(03:55):
He has scraggly gray hair,light blue eyes and smiles
warmly through mangled teeththat kind of resemble a bear
trap.
I kind of get the Dennis theMenace reference he made earlier
Makes sense now I can see it.
He has a bit of an exaggeratedmacho stance, sucking in his
(04:17):
belly, sticking his chest outand kind of bowing his arms.
It's confident but defensive.
It's probably a product ofyears of fighting and street
life, all mixed together with alittle bit of vanity.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Welcome to my humble abode.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yeah, thanks man.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
I got tired of people and I wanted to be older and
have as little bills as possible, but it turned out, between
this thing and that thing, beinga person with absolutely shit
credit, I had to rent to own.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Yeah, that's not off-grid no.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
I don't know what the fuck I was thinking.
Man, it's big as shit Because Itry to do photography.
It's like this balance betweenI have to get a job, I got to
look professional.
It's like that balance betweenI want to be off grid but I
really can't afford to yet, so Ihave to get a job and kind of
like, look like a grown up.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
But then this thing cost.
(05:14):
It's a worker trailer but itgot tailor made as you can see.
There's a window, there's anair conditioner, there's a 220
plug so I have lights andoutlets, but there's no 220 here
.
So I run an extension cord, butit's costing me fucking more
than the 220.
Those are those who are amillionaire, but I'm living like
a pauper.
Welcome to America, yeah right.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
His trailer is well just that.
It's a construction trailerLike the kind landscapers use.
It's small, maybe 8 by 12, andit's kind of hard to believe
that a person lives in this.
It sits in a small clearingnext to a metal building on the
property with an extension cordrunning to it.
(05:58):
There's no plumbing, has an airconditioner on the top and a
window.
There's no plumbing.
It has an air conditioner onthe top and a window.
The inside is messy, dank and,frankly, kind of horrifying.
There's clothes scattered ontop of a cot along with a laptop
.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
It made me a bit uncomfortable to see.
To be honest, I kind of justmade it messy because I'm a
bachelor, but this is a kittycat.
Um, so that's my computer setup and there's the lights and
stuff, but they're not hooked upand the kitty cat is.
I have to find her.
Why are you hiding?
Come here, come here, bubba.
That's my baby.
She's actually a reallywonderful kitty.
(06:42):
She's just not used to people.
Oh, I get it.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Um what's her name?
Speaker 1 (06:46):
stinkers, stinkers.
Because she showed up at mydoorstep one day when I was
living, uh down the ways a bit.
She was one pound, she wascovered in mange, basically half
dead, smelled like death.
I mean, she just appeared, yeah, and I gave her some food and
took her in.
I caught her mange, which theycall scabies in humans, and then
(07:10):
I got an allergic reaction tothe mange.
So it was bad Jesus.
I was covered in hives.
I ended up in the emergencyroom like three times Jeez,
because it was like four in themorning.
I'm just God damn it, I can'ttake it.
So they had to shoot me up fullof shit.
It was horrible.
I took her to the vet the nextday and now she's a bit of a
(07:33):
mini celebrity.
Everyone loves her, so I don'tknow how you want to do this,
but in there it's really small.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
We can hang out out here for a little bit and chat,
and then we want to go grablunch or something.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Well, I want you.
Do you drink Cuban coffee?
Absolutely.
I don't know what it is aboutEsmeraldas, I don't know what.
I don't know what witchcraftthey have, but I've been to
multiple because I, when itcomes to coffee, there's only
two Cuban and Turkish.
Nothing else is coffee, andthey've got some sort of
(08:06):
witchcraft where there is justfucking good.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
I don't understand it malachi, hopped in the car with
us and we headed back towardscivilization, so to speak, to
visit a cuban bakery that he wasquite fond of.
Now town is about 20 to 30minutes away from here.
I was hungry, and seeing how hewas living actually made me
(08:30):
pretty sad, so I was relieved tobe headed out.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
If it wasn't for the demon, this would be so peaceful
.
So where's the demon she?
Speaker 2 (08:41):
went somewhere with her man.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
I mean, here's the thing, it's very simple.
I call her demon just, andshe's not really demon.
She's a hurting human being.
She just gets on my nerves somuch it's hard to have empathy
because she does two things anda lot of people do this, and
she's one of them and it's themost irritating person to deal
with.
She's went through her owntraumas.
She shared some of them with meand they are horrific, but she
does something.
(09:04):
Let me close the gate thatwhoever she meets is either they
.
They are categorized as eitherthe cause for the trauma whether
they've ever been there or not,they're the cause for the
trauma or they're responsible tobe the cure.
Yeah, I get it, one of thethings that I've been fairly
(09:25):
good at.
I mean, I think I had my momentin my 20s.
Of the whole, it's the world'sfault and you know, I think I
went through a small moment ofthat, but for the majority of my
life I mean the nature of mydemons themselves are
self-blaming.
So this concept of blamingeveryone else is completely
(09:47):
foreign to me.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
You know, I think it's kind of immature.
It's something you're supposedto grow out of.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Then you kind of go into the other description of
when you're traumatized, and Ihate that everyone uses that
word now for everything.
But the authentic definition oftrauma is sex violence,
especially when you're young.
So when you're legitimatelytraumatized, your emotional
(10:15):
growth stops at that point.
So if you were raped at nineand it was a very intense I mean
not that any rape is notviolent, but I'm talking really
traumatizing rape.
Even some people say you takeyour smoke first, hit a crack at
11, your emotional growth stopsthen.
So what you may say, is itimmature?
(10:35):
Is it, though, if you're stilljust 11?
So that's kind of.
You see what I'm saying?
Like immaturity is such a fluidstatement, but if you're still,
you're not immature, you'rejust where you are, and so we
have to look at that as adifferent definition, because
now you're telling someone who's11 that they're immature for
(10:56):
being 11, when they're actually52.
So is that helping or is thatjust damaging even further?
Speaker 2 (11:05):
It's a different way to think of it, man.
I never quite thought of itlike that.
It's interesting.
I think one of the things thathow do you overcome that?
Because you had some traumaticstuff when you were younger.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
My trauma started at six months Since we broached
that subject.
We'll give you a really I I.
My trauma started six monthsSince we broached that subject.
We'll give you a really quickoverview.
Okay, and there is no quickversion of Doron's, but we'll
give it.
So my biological mother iswhite.
She had five kids by fourdifferent men.
Two of those men were brothers.
One of them was a one-nightstand.
(11:42):
She.
Those men were brothers.
One of them was a one-nightstand.
She was the stereotypical white,fat, white woman who just kept
having babies by black men.
After the first baby, everyonedisowned her.
This is in the 70s, back whenyou still weren't allowed to
actually fuck outside the race.
So her own parents disowned her.
Everybody disowned her.
She was just messed up.
(12:03):
When I was young, I looked.
I was a middle kid, so there'stwo above two below.
When I was young, I looked.
I was a middle kid, so there'stwo above two below.
When I was young, I looked very, very, very white.
I remember too yellow hair,pudgy.
I looked like super white kid.
Her parents wanted me because Icould pass.
She saw that as them giving methe love they no longer gave her
, so she tried to kill meSupposedly, yeah, she like threw
(12:26):
me against the radiator orsomething.
How old I had a baby.
So obviously she did something.
That's your six months, yeahsomething.
And long story short, childProtective Services came in,
took me and my two brothers awayand rumor mill is that her
(12:47):
parents are the ones that calledon her when she wouldn't let
them have me.
So your grandma and grandpayeah, I've never met biological
biological, did that?
Some little black woman who wasliving in the apartment building
at the same time saw thishappening and said, nope, give
them to me, I'll take them.
Because at that time inphiladelphia, if you were taken
away by cbs, you ended up in aplace called Baptist Homes which
is basically a rape factory.
(13:07):
That was it, and she knew thatand she knew this.
Everyone knew it.
It was a non-secret secret thatif you went into the system in
Philadelphia in the 70s, youwere not coming out with your
same asshole Period.
You are not coming out withyour same asshole Period.
And if you are biracial see,this is what people know we're
(13:29):
not allowed to talk about thiscountry, the hell that biracial
children went through.
Still, do you know?
We're only allowed to have oneoppressed race in this country
and it damn sure ain't us.
So we went to fucking hell.
So this little black woman whohad actually married a white man
back in like the 40s, so shewas really empathetic because
(13:52):
her family, like some of them,look white, some of them look
black, whatever, and she wasthis real Christian, if you talk
about the traditional blackfamily, even though her family
is biracial and somebody marrieda Chinese woman, somebody
married a Puerto Rican, so itwas like the Rainbow Coalition,
but it was based upon thetraditional black family.
(14:13):
Jesus Christ, martin Luther King, jesus Christ, john F Kennedy.
I don't know if you've everheard that we actually had it.
There was literally MartinLuther King, jesus Christ, john
F Kennedy.
There was hot comb, the smallerhot combs.
On Sundays.
(14:34):
There was church with the whitegloves and the church hats and
the you know hallelujahs and theNegro spirituals.
You know, this is my story,this is my song.
There was Kool-Aid and sweetpotato pie with every meal
turkey necks and collard greens.
You know, if someone did mewrong, the first words came out
(14:55):
of my mouth is you got toforgive them, child, they don't
know no better.
You got to love them, notrealizing that the wrong that
was done to me was bad.
So my brothers ended up beingsent away because she was too
old and fragile and couldn'ttake care of all of us.
So she sent them away but saidthey can come on weekends or
(15:15):
once a month or.
I want to give them some sanity, but I'm 80, I just can't do.
All three is 80.
She was 72 when she took us.
Yeah, something like 75.
She took us in and she's takingcare of her 80-year-old senile
sister All on retirement.
Yeah, she lived alone too, soit was just her senile sister,
three young kids.
She couldn't do it.
She had to send them away.
(15:37):
She told me later she kept mesimply because I was the
youngest.
It was like I just won thejackpot of being the youngest.
That was it, and I wasn't asacting as crazy as they were
beginning to.
They would come back at homevisits and spit in my food, try
to fuck me in the ass.
All the shit that's being doneto them.
They did to me.
So they were at a.
They were there.
(15:58):
They were at Baptist.
They were there.
Is that what you called it?
They were suffering everything,and everything that they
suffered they tried to do to me.
When I went outside, the littlekid who looked white in a black
neighborhood put it this way myvery first fight was 13 years
old.
I had to fight three kids Oneof them was supposedly her
friend and I beat all theirasses.
Matter of fact, they had topull me off of one arm.
(16:19):
I was scraping his arm acrossthe ground, which would become
part of my identity, as I hate,hate, hate to fight.
But if you make me fight you,I'm scarring you.
I'm leaving you with a scar.
It's just.
If you take me to that darkplace, I'm leaving you with a
scar.
Did that in jail?
Did that?
(16:40):
I'm scarring you Because you'retaking me somewhere I never,
ever, ever want to go.
So there is that.
The only time they wanted mearound was when they wanted me
watching them fuck somebody, orwatching some girl suck their
dick, or they wanted to watch mewith two girls and I didn't
even know what I was doing andthey were all standing around
watching.
It was just sex, sex, sex.
(17:01):
Then I got very violentlyforced to suck a dick at the
threat of death, 10, 11,something being hung over the
side of a well, and then onetime.
Then it happened again on topof a building.
I went to explore someabandoned building and some
other kid grabbed me.
I went over the side of thebuilding and he forced me to
suck his dick Very violent.
(17:22):
And that's when I died andthat's when I was born.
Were these just kids in theneighborhood?
Just kids in the neighborhood?
I don't even know who they were.
What part of Philly was this?
North Philadelphia 13th andWyoming the hood?
So I?
What was the neighborhood like?
The ghetto?
Give me a visual of it.
(17:42):
Have you ever seen a blackghetto on television?
Yeah, that's it.
You know dad's not around,mom's strung out.
The old ladies have really nicefront yards that are like the
size of a post stamp.
They have candies in theirbowls.
They'll send you to the storefor a quarter.
There was a very small pocket oftime when I kind of got along
with everyone.
I was young Before the kidsstarted listening to their
(18:05):
parents and we would play streetfootball.
You know like literally I bustmy head open, running into a car
once Wide open, and didn't goto hospital because I had a
black grandma.
She just put some spit on thatthing, this Band-Aid, and was
like we can't afford thehospital.
And now, instead of a scar likethat.
I've got a scar like this.
(18:25):
But then as I started to getolder 13, 14, the kids started
picking up on society.
They started learning and theystarted realizing I look white,
I'm to be hated, and I basicallyspent my whole time alone.
I was scared to go outside.
I would hide in my house, sonot to go to school.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
So you feel like it was a learned behavior.
This wasn't something naturally.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
How is racism natural ?
Put two little babies together?
They don't give a fuck.
How is I mean?
In what sense is it natural?
Your skin color doesn't brownme?
We're only allowed to talkabout one side of it, though.
Then they've got this new thingout colorism where they're like
oh you treated us so bad, likeno bitch.
Almost every light-skinnedperson you talk to, if you give
(19:14):
them a chance to tell you thehonest truth, will tell the
dark-skinned ones, blame themfor everything and bully them
and ostracize them and then, butif you ask the darker-skinned
ones, they'll go it's color, wedon't get a shit, no bitch,
everything you.
We go through hell, but societydoesn't want to hear that,
especially not if you got blindhair and blue eyes like me.
(19:37):
You're talking about lightskinned black.
Right, light skinned black.
But I'm talking about not justlight skinned, I'm talking about
light skinned Like what we callhigh yellow.
That's what our phrase is highyellow.
I have a friend, a friend who'sactually really respect.
He's a he's a very big muslimimam in new jersey, and I just
met him one day going to thebank.
(19:57):
He was selling some sense thatI love their sense and we
started talking.
We hit it off.
I noticed he was feeding thecommunity like he was, and he
was sharing with me like his,his I don't know that's, just
people talk to me and he wassharing with me like his, his, I
don't know, just people talk tome and he was start sharing
with me his doubts and like ishe doing the right thing?
And it doesn't mean it, youknow that sort of spiritual
crisis, even though I'm notmuslim and we start sharing.
(20:20):
He's half white too, but helooks more black, but he's still
like a shade darker than me,and so we share, like the
understanding.
Like man, we went through hell.
They think we're gay.
They think we're weak.
It's just like we're.
Nature's weird balance.
But yeah, we're automaticallyassumed to be sweet.
Well, we have to be twice astough, because if you're
(20:40):
light-skinned in a blackneighborhood, you are
automatically victimized,targeted, berated, bullied, in
my case, raped a couple of times.
My brother's trying to rape me,my mother's trying to kill me.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
I guess what kind of catches me is just like the
amount of homosexual rape.
That's something I I mean I'veheard ghetto stories.
I've lived by ghettos, nearghettos, in ghettos, ghetto
friends I haven't heard thatmuch about like I've heard about
beating up, mugging, shit likethat Jumping, but not homosexual
(21:17):
rape In the ghetto.
I've never heard that.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Because this is what I'm going to tell you.
I had flash forward like 30years later and I'm working at a
uh, a prison halfway house.
I was kind of working as a drugcounselor, even though I wasn't
licensed as one because of mybrain.
They're like you got thepaperwork but you got the brains
, or here you go and the blackguys there would.
(21:43):
Well, they were mostly allblack.
It just happened to be becauseit was in the ghetto, so it
isn't race-based, but it justhappened to be that this
particular location 99% of themwere black but also feeds into
the ghetto.
Almost all of them experiencedsome type of sexual assault.
0.1% of them talk about it.
(22:04):
So that's the issue.
That's the issue, they wouldtell me, because I'm
non-threatening, so that's sortof like oh, he's light-skinned,
he's smaller, even though I'mfreakishly fucking strong and I
can fight because I've had toand I've done some training.
So I'm not just some dude whofights like a wind.
No, I've done some training.
(22:24):
I made the national team inSambo when I was 19.
Do you know who Sambo is?
No, do you know who Khabib isin UFC?
Yes, what he does.
I made the national team when Iwas 19.
I can fight.
Yeah, I know you wouldn't thinkit.
No one ever does.
There's a whole other side, butI hate it.
(22:48):
There's a whole other side, butI hate it.
It's a complicated issue.
It makes me sick to my stomachIf you and him start fighting.
I mean, now I'm old, I'm alittle better with it.
I'll try to break you up, butas far as like sitting watching
it, no, ew, disgusting you know.
But like last year there wassome crazy, some guy.
(23:08):
Crazy guy with a razor bladewas at a farmer's market.
I was, I was managing and he'sa little guy, but he still
poured out a razor blade andharassing old ladies.
Every guy there was your size,guess you tackled him and put
him in a fucking chokehold.
Guess who jumped in after I hadhim down?
The rest of the fucking guys.
I'm the smallest guy there.
(23:29):
I'm the one that has him downin a fucking rear, naked choke,
with the blade over there.
Did you think?
Speaker 2 (23:36):
about it, or did you just react?
Speaker 1 (23:39):
No, I'm very good.
My thought process in themiddle of an emergency is very,
very fast.
I'm that dude who calculatesexactly what's happening.
A friend of mine was trying toattack me once because he got
drunk and I was protecting womenfrom him, which meant I was
protecting him from going inprison for 20 years.
You know, like vice versa, andhe pulled a knife and I was
(24:02):
calculating, like if I do thisand I do that, he's still.
And I'm like blub, blub, blub,blub, like no, I don't want to
kill him, so I put down.
And I do that, he's still.
And I'm like blah, blah, blah,blah, like no, I don't want to
kill him.
So I put down what I had, Idon't want to kill him.
And you know he ended upgetting stabbed twice and going
to jail.
And I looked around like I'mprobably the only person here
strong enough to hold him downwithout hurting him.
Because when you're actuallystrong, weak people use force.
(24:25):
Strong people use control.
A weak person.
A strong person knows hisstrength.
It can.
Just you ain't going nowhere,dog.
Now let's calm down.
You see the difference.
So I had to hold him down untilthe police came, until the
paramedics came.
Same thing Last year guy was onthe ground, purple, not
(24:46):
breathing.
Somebody was trying to cprweekly.
There was no life left in him.
It was actually a dark alley.
I heard I heard the conversion.
I pulled out my rambo knifebecause I knew there were some
druggies involved and I backedhim off like y'all, try
something.
That's all I ask, right?
They backed off and then Icompressed his chest down to his
(25:06):
fucking back and after a fewcompressions he gurgled and then
he started breathing again.
The paramedics came.
Rambo knife yeah, I had a bigone.
I carry a machete in my car.
Listen, I'm a pacifist, but noteveryone else is, and I will
not be a victim.
I will offer to buy you acoffee first.
(25:28):
I even had people hit me andI'm like dude, I'm still
standing, I didn't even quake.
Can we talk about this now?
Because you see, it's not goingto end well for you.
I don't even need the punchback, it didn't even hurt.
Let's go have a coffee.
I've done that more than once.
You just want to?
Speaker 2 (25:44):
de-escalate it Get out of it.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
I'll take that.
It didn't even do nothing to me.
Yeah, I got hit with a brickfrom behind in the ghetto
because I looked white.
Somebody snuck me from behindwith a brick, broke my jaw.
I didn't even flinch.
I turned around.
They were running down thestreet.
God just knew I was going totake some punishment in my life.
(26:10):
And it's ironic and I find itweird because my whole life
people have looked at me as likeI'm probably the weakest guy
out there, the softest guy outthere.
The reality is I'm not thestrongest motherfucker you'll
ever meet, but I'm the mostpassive.
I don't want no smoke, but I'mthe guy that I don't want no
smoke, but I'm the guy that willrun to the gunman.
(26:31):
Is there a conscious thoughtbehind that?
Because I believe I'm the onethat will survive.
There's just an understandingin me that there are certain
things I can accomplish and I'llsurvive.
I'll run to the gunman andsomehow come out that bitch
alive.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
So you maybe.
Maybe you feel kind ofinvincible.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Not invincible.
Like I'm not going to runstraight to the gun barrel, like
I understand that because ofthe as fast as my mind works and
I'm strong, that there was noguarantee I'll survive, but of
all these people standing here,I probably have the best chance.
So no, I'm not invincible.
I'm calculating in chaos andmost people freeze in chaos.
(27:15):
And why don't you?
Probably because I've beenthrough enough of it.
I got chased home every fuckingday, got beat up, got raped
twice, got my own brotherstrying to put dicks in my ass.
I think I had to figure somethings out pretty early.
I've been conditioned tosurvive in chaos because I was
born in it.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
When did the chaos stop?
Did it ever stop?
No, it hasn't.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
Not.
Yet it got worse At my worst,when the chaos and everything
else is finding its new identityand I'm trying to figure out
how to survive.
And they said that you're notthat part of that.
You're not supposed to existBecause someone like you, when
the doctors and you read it,when I was in the psych ward and
the doctor said someone likeyou doesn't exist because you're
(28:00):
supposed to Like, all we everhope for someone like you is to
get them to be able to feedthemselves, to be functioning,
and you're sitting here readingCrime and Punishment by
Dostoevsky.
There's no book on you.
There's no book on you.
What I remember was when I tooka lighter and about eight
different times burned my fleshand watched it burn.
How long ago was that?
(28:21):
I think the last one was 10, 15years ago, a little longer than
that, maybe 15 or 20.
So that's like a bunch ofdifferent times.
These are different times.
The first one was almost mywhole.
No shit, I lose track.
It was this one, because Ididn't have it quite under
control yet.
So I lost a part of my arm andit was just a lighter.
That's fucking horrible.
(28:43):
This is the remainder of.
I don't even know what happened, but I just did it and I had a
steak knife and one of them wasreally bad.
I had to go to the emergencyroom because it was going to
bleed out Just took the steakknife and did that.
Once here my leg almost got cutoff and there's a couple here.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Just like self-harm, Like were you unconscious and
aware of it?
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Yeah, why Were you unconscious and aware of it?
Yeah, why that level ofself-hate, that level of
psychosis, that level of holdingtoo much in, that level of
self-punishment and self-blamefor being weak, for being right,
for being druggy, for being?
I mean, I was taught.
(29:25):
Another lesson I was taughtvery young is that I'm
completely worthless, I'm notshit, I'm nothing.
That the pain on the outsidewas actually alleviated the pain
on the inside.
So imagine what the pain on theinside was if setting yourself
on fire was less the diagnoses.
(29:49):
I mean they have a drug death acouple of times.
That's a whole otherpsychiatric system in America.
It's fucking insane.
It's all bought and paid for,it's all corporate, it's nothing
has to do with actually helpinganybody.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Esmeralda Cuban Bakery sits in a little
unassuming, slightly run-downmini-mall in Lehigh Acres.
The windows are covered withvinyl sheets showing generic
pictures of cakes and desserts.
You can't see the inside fromthe outside.
Some would say it was a hole inthe wall, but these are always
(30:27):
the best places in my experience.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
Okay, come here for a second.
Hello, my love, hi, hi, baby,hi, do you want a coffee?
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Yeah, you gotta get a coffee.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
You gotta get a coffee.
The one they're going to giveyou is not like mine.
This is my special blend.
They make this for me.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Malachi is loud and charismatic when he enters.
The ladies who work there seemto know him and they smile back
as they greet him.
I order some Cuban braised pork, yellow rice and mashed yucca
from a buffet-style counter.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
This is the spot.
As you can tell, they're verysweet, they humor me, the
service is great, but the coffeeis the best.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
I've never quite had anything like this.
It's different.
I couldn't drink it all thetime, so I got like a sweet
meter.
Like this it's different.
I couldn't drink it all thetime, so I got like a sweet
meter.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
Well, that's why I say it's really sweet for anyone
else.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
But this is for me, it's like my grandma's, my
grandma's.
She's sweetened my sugar.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
Give you an example.
You notice, I had to stir moresugar in there.
I had to stir the bottombecause it wasn't sweet enough.
Really have you?
Speaker 2 (31:48):
always liked coffee, your whole life.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Yeah, I think so.
I think one time I had a bit.
I remember one time I had alittle too much control over me.
I was late for work because Icouldn't stop to get my coffee.
I stopped and I missed my busYears ago and I went okay, let's
mess it with my money.
So I switched to tea for like acouple of years.
Somehow I got to tea for like acouple years but somehow I got
(32:12):
back to coffee.
I I do need it in the morning.
Um, it does have a certainlevel of control over me, but
then of all the things thatcontrol me, I'd rather coffee
than anything the hell else.
There there was a very, verypowerful truth in the simple
methods of picking your battles.
You know, sometimes you gottatake the L, save the strength
for a more important battle.
And the simple methods ofpicking your battles.
Sometimes you've got to takethe L and save the strength for
(32:32):
a more important battle.
So if caffeine is going to bemy L, so be it.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
You've got to have something.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
Right In American culture.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
yes, You've got to have advice.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
I watch a lot of and it's it's been soothing and it's
helping me get gratitude andit's grounding and it's bringing
me to a better place.
Recently I've been watching alot of people in different
countries, say, say, russia,china, a lot of the former
(33:11):
Soviet Union countries,kazakhstan, where people are
like living in mountains orthey've been living in some
Arctic village and they live offof the most basic necessities
and just the most basicexistence and they find such a
peace in it like there was one Iwatched last night.
(33:32):
The guy had been alone for 20years, you know he pretty much
lived off of like rabbits, thathe caught, fish that he caught.
He would go walk five, fivehours to the village, like once
a week, to tell stories andpeople would give him food and
he would use that and likereading the newspaper, like he
would get a bunch of newspapersin that that trip, that was it,
(33:54):
that was his life and he wouldmake some homemade bread.
No vice, that was his thing,just the simplicity of existing,
the gratitude in existing.
So I I really have to questiondo you really need a vice?
You know, I think that we've.
(34:15):
Really, the more I look at it,the more.
I wonder if we've beenconditioned to think we all need
a vice Because that keeps usthe door open for other
weaknesses.
Like, as long as you have avice, I can use that door to get
to you.
I know that there's a crack inyour armor and I think a lot of
(34:36):
society now is being conditionedto make sure that there's a
crack somewhere that someoneelse can use.
Control Everything is aboutcontrol.
I mean, that's just not tosound like some really weird
weirdo, but in the past, withthe whole Trump and it probably
started with Obama and Trump andthey're really starting to look
(35:02):
at how much control we arereally under and how much we're
being lied to, or how much wetake or how much we disbelieve
under, and how much we're beinglied to and how much we take or
how much we disbelieve.
Like they pointed out somethingabout obama.
Like I knew something aboutobama a lot of people don't talk
about, especially being a vegan.
I understood this was obama andthe mazonto protection act.
(35:22):
Like he literally said, we'regoing to poison your food, but
no one can tell you about it.
And half of his cabinet workedfor masanto.
I think almost all of hiscabinet.
I think it was.
Almost.
All of them worked for masantoat one point in their life.
Obama decided to protect them,decided that anyone who brings
(35:45):
any of masanto's productsproducts into Russia will be
convicted as a terrorist.
That's just when I startedwaking up like wait a minute.
Obama dropped more bombs thanany president in the history of
the United States, but he wasgiven the Peace Award.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
Wait a minute.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
Make that make sense.
That's when I started waking upand going wait a minute,
something's going on here.
Donald Trump, you ready forthis?
The only president in historywhose descendants never owned
slaves?
Obama's did.
(36:26):
We are told so many things tomanipulate and control us.
I think one of the biggest onesright now is the black
community.
You know, you're being toldyou're born victims because that
way you'll stay victims and wekeep your votes.
You're being told that you havea right to commit crimes
(36:49):
because that way you'll keepcommitting them, won't rise up,
you will keep your votes.
We're being told math is racistbecause you're too stupid to do
math.
Because you won't rise up,we'll keep your votes.
Lowest number of black andhispanic support among democrats
in history.
Because they finally said atleast the Republicans really
(37:11):
don't give a fuck about us.
They're not actively trying tokeep us down, they just don't
give a fuck.
The powers that be who matter.
Now I'm not going all the waydown the rabbit hole, going like
the Illuminati and probablyit's true but I'm not going down
that rabbit hole.
Alright, probably some truththere, but I'm not going down
that rabbit hole.
Alright, probably some truththere, but I'm not going that
far.
I am just going to say thepowers that be want to keep
(37:32):
powering and we don't fuckingmatter.
I mean, it's just for me.
Here's the thing.
Life is a bitch.
This eight hour a day work weekI've never done that.
I've never kept a permanent jobmy whole life.
Because I get bored as fuck, mymind wanders.
I start going into my crazyplace.
(37:52):
So I figured out what works forme is short projects and for a
while I did good.
There were some times I wasmaking $400 a fucking day but
doing nothing.
So I'd build a retaining walland people just liked me.
So I'd cut bushes and be likehere's $300, cut those bushes,
you know.
Or I'd be inside stripping aroof and be like here, we'll
(38:12):
come back in three weeks, wewant it done.
Okay, see you in three weeks.
And I pretty much made my lifeduring that.
I don't know how.
And again there were times whenI was younger and stronger
Because again, I was physicallyfreakishly strong.
If you leave me alone and tellme this needs to be done, it'll
(38:35):
be done.
They didn't have to worry aboutme and I spent my whole life
that way.
This concept of going to thesame job day in and day out,
eight to 12 hours a day for 10to 20 years.
I would end up on a roof.
I don't know how people do itand I also understand.
It breaks your soul.
You don't have a brain foranything else.
(38:57):
You come home, kids scream,wife screams.
You get maybe 15 minutes toyourself a day.
Most people walking thesestreets right now are so fucking
insane.
But they're insane from pureexhaustion.
And so if you give them asimple story to believe, that's
all they want.
That's all they have a strengthfor.
(39:19):
They want a leader, becausethey don't have the strength to
lead themselves, they'recompletely exhausted and beaten.
What was your first job that youever had?
Well, when I was 13 or 14, Iactually this is funny.
Here's a part of Americana foryou.
This is about as American as itgets.
(39:39):
Actually it was a Muslim blackguy who boy talk about a short
Hercules this guy was just rightwho owned a little newsstand on
the corner in the ghetto and Iwould stay it up in the aisle
and sell newspapers to cars.
(40:00):
That's about as a mass ofnewspapers, as a kid for a
Muslim, you're right.
But then you add the Muslims sothat you kind of add that
Americana melting pot.
Add that little bit, add thatlittle melting pot.
It's not rock well Americana,it's real life Americana.
When you had that first job whenyou were that age, what did you
(40:23):
want to be when you got older?
I was a child genius.
I was studying virology at 13.
University of PennsylvaniaMedical School wanted me to come
audit a class for the semesteron infectious diseases when I
was 14.
Medical School wanted me tocome audit one of their audit
semester.
They wanted to start teachingme at 14.
(40:44):
Yep, I got a scholarship,full-ride scholarship to
Germantown Friends, which is oneof the top ten schools in the
entire fucking country.
They paid.
I wanted to be a researchscientist.
I was groomed to be a researchscientist.
I was supposed to be the kidwho cured diseases.
I found microbiology justabsolutely fascinating.
(41:11):
I found immunopathologyfascinating the concept on so
many levels.
The simple virus to me is itjust encompasses everything in
existence and I'll tell you why.
Very simple, okay.
It is the border between lifeand death.
(41:31):
They still haven't decidedwhether a virus is alive or dead
, depending on what scientistsyou ask, because it doesn't
really do anything until youactivate it.
It's just a clump ofnothingness until it bumps into
you, then it activates.
So is it alive or dead?
They still depending on who youask.
Right, that's fascinating.
(41:52):
What it does is fascinating.
And I also think it'sfascinating in the sense that to
me it's proof of God as greatas we are, as powerful as we are
, god's simplest creation, right, mr Fucker?
I think that's God's littlereminder Don't ever get too big
(42:15):
for your britches, because Imight turn that switch off.
It can't be by accident that weare the most advanced living
being that we know of and thatlittle don't even know if it's
alive or not.
Like you said, one littleswitch, we're done.
(42:38):
That can't be by accident.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
Somebody's looking up .
Speaker 1 (42:44):
Well, I mean, somebody once said you're always
a hero of your own story.
Some of them stories.
You ain't the fucking hero, butyet you are.
That's another problem withsociety that they're always the
hero of their own story.
The truth doesn't allow that,so they don't allow the truth.
(43:05):
The truth needs to fit me beingthe hero.
If your truth doesn't make methe hero, I don't want to hear
it, and the truth doesn'tfucking matter.
Speaker 2 (43:17):
Do we need the stories?
Do we need help?
Speaker 1 (43:20):
Only if we learn from them.
If we don't learn from them,they're fucking fodder.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
On our next episode we find out whether or not
Malachi thinks OnlyFans modelsare the heroes of their own
story, the true origins of hisgay uncles, as he calls them,
and we hear Malachi's own secretrecipe on how to make the
(43:51):
perfect male stripper.
You won't want to miss this one.
The Redacted Podcast isproduced by myself, matt Bender,
and my wife, pamela Bender.
Make sure to go out there andgive us a like, a share, share
it with your friends, rate us.
Every little bit helps.
Thanks for tuning in.
This is my story, this is my song.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
I went to visit Malachi on a perfectly sunny
South Florida day in February of2024.
My friend Chris offered to comealong and help me record, so he
also gets credit for helpingproduce this episode.
Thanks, chris.
But anyway, we hopped in thetruck and headed the two hours
south to visit Malachi.
(00:31):
About 30 minutes east of all thebeaches, resorts, melting
margaritas, tiki bars andpostcard pictures of Fort Myers
sits a town called Lehigh Acres.
This area was originallypurchased as a cattle ranch by a
Chicago businessman.
In the 1950s he used it as atax shelter.
Eventually, the area startedbeing developed into residential
(00:55):
communities, a haven fornorthern snowbirds seeking to
escape the icy, cold northernwinters.
That plan failed and thousandsof lots and empty subdivisions,
complete with roads, satabandoned for years to come.
If you've ever seen land orlots for sale in South Florida
at a shockingly low price,chances are it's in Lehigh Acres
(01:19):
.
In 1992, the area was declaredblighted by Lee County and plans
were made to improve thedevelopment and infrastructure.
It wasn't really until the realestate boom of 2006 that any
real progress was made.
Today the city sits at acrossroads of newer, wealthier
(01:41):
developments that are closer tothe beaches and Interstate 75,
of newer, wealthier developmentsthat are closer to the beaches
and Interstate 75, and theeastern edge, consisting of
still-abandoned subdivisions andhaphazard farmettes.
Malachi lives on one of thesefarmettes where he rents some
space from the owner of theproperty A tiny little spot for
(02:03):
his trailer, his car himself andhis cat stinkers.
After driving east from 75 towhat seemed like the middle of
Florida or maybe even the edgeof it, we reached our turn.
The road to the farmetteproperty was gravel, or more
accurately, dirt, withtreacherous potholes that could
swallow a small car whole.
Seriously, they were huge, butluckily enough I drove my truck.
(02:28):
I dodged some fallen palm trees, almost bottomed out my truck a
few times and made it to thegate of the property and saw him
standing there waving us in.
I headed down the driveway andhe told me that he lived in a
trailer, which I assumed to besomething similar to a camper,
(02:48):
but it definitely was not.
From the Redacted Podcast, I'mMatt Bender and this is
Murdering Malachi, episode 3.
Here's the thing.
Life's a bitch.
You're better looking than me.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
I'm not better looking Like one of you got to
be ugly.
I'm just saying One of y'allgot to be ugly, Damn.
Give me some balance here.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Malachi is on the shorter side, maybe 5'7 or 5'8,
and stands stout wearing a baggybrown t-shirt, jeans and a
tattered hat.
Despite being a self-proclaimedcity boy most of his life, he
actually fits in here, if Ididn't know better.
He kind of looks like a farmer.
(03:55):
He has scraggly gray hair,light blue eyes and smiles
warmly through mangled teeththat kind of resemble a bear
trap.
I kind of get the Dennis theMenace reference he made earlier
Makes sense now I can see it.
He has a bit of an exaggeratedmacho stance, sucking in his
(04:17):
belly, sticking his chest outand kind of bowing his arms.
It's confident but defensive.
It's probably a product ofyears of fighting and street
life, all mixed together with alittle bit of vanity.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Welcome to my humble abode.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yeah, thanks man.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
I got tired of people and I wanted to be older and
have as little bills as possible, but it turned out, between
this thing and that thing, beinga person with absolutely shit
credit, I had to rent to own.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Yeah, that's not off-grid no.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
I don't know what the fuck I was thinking.
Man, it's big as shit Because Itry to do photography.
It's like this balance betweenI have to get a job, I got to
look professional.
It's like that balance betweenI want to be off grid but I
really can't afford to yet, so Ihave to get a job and kind of
like, look like a grown up.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
But then this thing cost.
(05:14):
It's a worker trailer but itgot tailor made as you can see.
There's a window, there's anair conditioner, there's a 220
plug so I have lights andoutlets, but there's no 220 here
.
So I run an extension cord, butit's costing me fucking more
than the 220.
Those are those who are amillionaire, but I'm living like
a pauper.
Welcome to America, yeah right.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
His trailer is well just that.
It's a construction trailerLike the kind landscapers use.
It's small, maybe 8 by 12, andit's kind of hard to believe
that a person lives in this.
It sits in a small clearingnext to a metal building on the
property with an extension cordrunning to it.
(05:58):
There's no plumbing, has an airconditioner on the top and a
window.
There's no plumbing.
It has an air conditioner onthe top and a window.
The inside is messy, dank and,frankly, kind of horrifying.
There's clothes scattered ontop of a cot along with a laptop
.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
It made me a bit uncomfortable to see.
To be honest, I kind of justmade it messy because I'm a
bachelor, but this is a kittycat.
Um, so that's my computer setup and there's the lights and
stuff, but they're not hooked upand the kitty cat is.
I have to find her.
Why are you hiding?
Come here, come here, bubba.
That's my baby.
She's actually a reallywonderful kitty.
(06:42):
She's just not used to people.
Oh, I get it.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Um what's her name?
Speaker 1 (06:46):
stinkers, stinkers.
Because she showed up at mydoorstep one day when I was
living, uh down the ways a bit.
She was one pound, she wascovered in mange, basically half
dead, smelled like death.
I mean, she just appeared, yeah, and I gave her some food and
took her in.
I caught her mange, which theycall scabies in humans, and then
(07:10):
I got an allergic reaction tothe mange.
So it was bad Jesus.
I was covered in hives.
I ended up in the emergencyroom like three times Jeez,
because it was like four in themorning.
I'm just God damn it, I can'ttake it.
So they had to shoot me up fullof shit.
It was horrible.
I took her to the vet the nextday and now she's a bit of a
(07:33):
mini celebrity.
Everyone loves her, so I don'tknow how you want to do this,
but in there it's really small.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
We can hang out out here for a little bit and chat,
and then we want to go grablunch or something.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Well, I want you.
Do you drink Cuban coffee?
Absolutely.
I don't know what it is aboutEsmeraldas, I don't know what.
I don't know what witchcraftthey have, but I've been to
multiple because I, when itcomes to coffee, there's only
two Cuban and Turkish.
Nothing else is coffee, andthey've got some sort of
(08:06):
witchcraft where there is justfucking good.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
I don't understand it malachi, hopped in the car with
us and we headed back towardscivilization, so to speak, to
visit a cuban bakery that he wasquite fond of.
Now town is about 20 to 30minutes away from here.
I was hungry, and seeing how hewas living actually made me
(08:30):
pretty sad, so I was relieved tobe headed out.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
If it wasn't for the demon, this would be so peaceful
.
So where's the demon she?
Speaker 2 (08:41):
went somewhere with her man.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
I mean, here's the thing, it's very simple.
I call her demon just, andshe's not really demon.
She's a hurting human being.
She just gets on my nerves somuch it's hard to have empathy
because she does two things anda lot of people do this, and
she's one of them and it's themost irritating person to deal
with.
She's went through her owntraumas.
She shared some of them with meand they are horrific, but she
does something.
(09:04):
Let me close the gate thatwhoever she meets is either they
.
They are categorized as eitherthe cause for the trauma whether
they've ever been there or not,they're the cause for the
trauma or they're responsible tobe the cure.
Yeah, I get it, one of thethings that I've been fairly
(09:25):
good at.
I mean, I think I had my momentin my 20s.
Of the whole, it's the world'sfault and you know, I think I
went through a small moment ofthat, but for the majority of my
life I mean the nature of mydemons themselves are
self-blaming.
So this concept of blamingeveryone else is completely
(09:47):
foreign to me.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
You know, I think it's kind of immature.
It's something you're supposedto grow out of.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Then you kind of go into the other description of
when you're traumatized, and Ihate that everyone uses that
word now for everything.
But the authentic definition oftrauma is sex violence,
especially when you're young.
So when you're legitimatelytraumatized, your emotional
(10:15):
growth stops at that point.
So if you were raped at nineand it was a very intense I mean
not that any rape is notviolent, but I'm talking really
traumatizing rape.
Even some people say you takeyour smoke first, hit a crack at
11, your emotional growth stopsthen.
So what you may say, is itimmature?
(10:35):
Is it, though, if you're stilljust 11?
So that's kind of.
You see what I'm saying?
Like immaturity is such a fluidstatement, but if you're still,
you're not immature, you'rejust where you are, and so we
have to look at that as adifferent definition, because
now you're telling someone who's11 that they're immature for
(10:56):
being 11, when they're actually52.
So is that helping or is thatjust damaging even further?
Speaker 2 (11:05):
It's a different way to think of it, man.
I never quite thought of itlike that.
It's interesting.
I think one of the things thathow do you overcome that?
Because you had some traumaticstuff when you were younger.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
My trauma started at six months Since we broached
that subject.
We'll give you a really I I.
My trauma started six monthsSince we broached that subject.
We'll give you a really quickoverview.
Okay, and there is no quickversion of Doron's, but we'll
give it.
So my biological mother iswhite.
She had five kids by fourdifferent men.
Two of those men were brothers.
One of them was a one-nightstand.
(11:42):
She.
Those men were brothers.
One of them was a one-nightstand.
She was the stereotypical white,fat, white woman who just kept
having babies by black men.
After the first baby, everyonedisowned her.
This is in the 70s, back whenyou still weren't allowed to
actually fuck outside the race.
So her own parents disowned her.
Everybody disowned her.
She was just messed up.
(12:03):
When I was young, I looked.
I was a middle kid, so there'stwo above two below.
When I was young, I looked.
I was a middle kid, so there'stwo above two below.
When I was young, I looked very, very, very white.
I remember too yellow hair,pudgy.
I looked like super white kid.
Her parents wanted me because Icould pass.
She saw that as them giving methe love they no longer gave her
, so she tried to kill meSupposedly, yeah, she like threw
(12:26):
me against the radiator orsomething.
How old I had a baby.
So obviously she did something.
That's your six months, yeahsomething.
And long story short, childProtective Services came in,
took me and my two brothers awayand rumor mill is that her
(12:47):
parents are the ones that calledon her when she wouldn't let
them have me.
So your grandma and grandpayeah, I've never met biological
biological, did that?
Some little black woman who wasliving in the apartment building
at the same time saw thishappening and said, nope, give
them to me, I'll take them.
Because at that time inphiladelphia, if you were taken
away by cbs, you ended up in aplace called Baptist Homes which
is basically a rape factory.
(13:07):
That was it, and she knew thatand she knew this.
Everyone knew it.
It was a non-secret secret thatif you went into the system in
Philadelphia in the 70s, youwere not coming out with your
same asshole Period.
You are not coming out withyour same asshole Period.
And if you are biracial see,this is what people know we're
(13:29):
not allowed to talk about thiscountry, the hell that biracial
children went through.
Still, do you know?
We're only allowed to have oneoppressed race in this country
and it damn sure ain't us.
So we went to fucking hell.
So this little black woman whohad actually married a white man
back in like the 40s, so shewas really empathetic because
(13:52):
her family, like some of them,look white, some of them look
black, whatever, and she wasthis real Christian, if you talk
about the traditional blackfamily, even though her family
is biracial and somebody marrieda Chinese woman, somebody
married a Puerto Rican, so itwas like the Rainbow Coalition,
but it was based upon thetraditional black family.
(14:13):
Jesus Christ, martin Luther King, jesus Christ, john F Kennedy.
I don't know if you've everheard that we actually had it.
There was literally MartinLuther King, jesus Christ, john
F Kennedy.
There was hot comb, the smallerhot combs.
On Sundays.
(14:34):
There was church with the whitegloves and the church hats and
the you know hallelujahs and theNegro spirituals.
You know, this is my story,this is my song.
There was Kool-Aid and sweetpotato pie with every meal
turkey necks and collard greens.
You know, if someone did mewrong, the first words came out
(14:55):
of my mouth is you got toforgive them, child, they don't
know no better.
You got to love them, notrealizing that the wrong that
was done to me was bad.
So my brothers ended up beingsent away because she was too
old and fragile and couldn'ttake care of all of us.
So she sent them away but saidthey can come on weekends or
(15:15):
once a month or.
I want to give them some sanity, but I'm 80, I just can't do.
All three is 80.
She was 72 when she took us.
Yeah, something like 75.
She took us in and she's takingcare of her 80-year-old senile
sister All on retirement.
Yeah, she lived alone too, soit was just her senile sister,
three young kids.
She couldn't do it.
She had to send them away.
(15:37):
She told me later she kept mesimply because I was the
youngest.
It was like I just won thejackpot of being the youngest.
That was it, and I wasn't asacting as crazy as they were
beginning to.
They would come back at homevisits and spit in my food, try
to fuck me in the ass.
All the shit that's being doneto them.
They did to me.
So they were at a.
They were there.
(15:58):
They were at Baptist.
They were there.
Is that what you called it?
They were suffering everything,and everything that they
suffered they tried to do to me.
When I went outside, the littlekid who looked white in a black
neighborhood put it this way myvery first fight was 13 years
old.
I had to fight three kids Oneof them was supposedly her
friend and I beat all theirasses.
Matter of fact, they had topull me off of one arm.
(16:19):
I was scraping his arm acrossthe ground, which would become
part of my identity, as I hate,hate, hate to fight.
But if you make me fight you,I'm scarring you.
I'm leaving you with a scar.
It's just.
If you take me to that darkplace, I'm leaving you with a
scar.
Did that in jail?
Did that?
(16:40):
I'm scarring you Because you'retaking me somewhere I never,
ever, ever want to go.
So there is that.
The only time they wanted mearound was when they wanted me
watching them fuck somebody, orwatching some girl suck their
dick, or they wanted to watch mewith two girls and I didn't
even know what I was doing andthey were all standing around
watching.
It was just sex, sex, sex.
(17:01):
Then I got very violentlyforced to suck a dick at the
threat of death, 10, 11,something being hung over the
side of a well, and then onetime.
Then it happened again on topof a building.
I went to explore someabandoned building and some
other kid grabbed me.
I went over the side of thebuilding and he forced me to
suck his dick Very violent.
(17:22):
And that's when I died andthat's when I was born.
Were these just kids in theneighborhood?
Just kids in the neighborhood?
I don't even know who they were.
What part of Philly was this?
North Philadelphia 13th andWyoming the hood?
So I?
What was the neighborhood like?
The ghetto?
Give me a visual of it.
(17:42):
Have you ever seen a blackghetto on television?
Yeah, that's it.
You know dad's not around,mom's strung out.
The old ladies have really nicefront yards that are like the
size of a post stamp.
They have candies in theirbowls.
They'll send you to the storefor a quarter.
There was a very small pocket oftime when I kind of got along
with everyone.
I was young Before the kidsstarted listening to their
(18:05):
parents and we would play streetfootball.
You know like literally I bustmy head open, running into a car
once Wide open, and didn't goto hospital because I had a
black grandma.
She just put some spit on thatthing, this Band-Aid, and was
like we can't afford thehospital.
And now, instead of a scar likethat.
I've got a scar like this.
(18:25):
But then as I started to getolder 13, 14, the kids started
picking up on society.
They started learning and theystarted realizing I look white,
I'm to be hated, and I basicallyspent my whole time alone.
I was scared to go outside.
I would hide in my house, sonot to go to school.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
So you feel like it was a learned behavior.
This wasn't something naturally.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
How is racism natural ?
Put two little babies together?
They don't give a fuck.
How is I mean?
In what sense is it natural?
Your skin color doesn't brownme?
We're only allowed to talkabout one side of it, though.
Then they've got this new thingout colorism where they're like
oh you treated us so bad, likeno bitch.
Almost every light-skinnedperson you talk to, if you give
(19:14):
them a chance to tell you thehonest truth, will tell the
dark-skinned ones, blame themfor everything and bully them
and ostracize them and then, butif you ask the darker-skinned
ones, they'll go it's color, wedon't get a shit, no bitch,
everything you.
We go through hell, but societydoesn't want to hear that,
especially not if you got blindhair and blue eyes like me.
(19:37):
You're talking about lightskinned black.
Right, light skinned black.
But I'm talking about not justlight skinned, I'm talking about
light skinned Like what we callhigh yellow.
That's what our phrase is highyellow.
I have a friend, a friend who'sactually really respect.
He's a he's a very big muslimimam in new jersey, and I just
met him one day going to thebank.
(19:57):
He was selling some sense thatI love their sense and we
started talking.
We hit it off.
I noticed he was feeding thecommunity like he was, and he
was sharing with me like his,his I don't know that's, just
people talk to me and he wassharing with me like his, his, I
don't know, just people talk tome and he was start sharing
with me his doubts and like ishe doing the right thing?
And it doesn't mean it, youknow that sort of spiritual
crisis, even though I'm notmuslim and we start sharing.
(20:20):
He's half white too, but helooks more black, but he's still
like a shade darker than me,and so we share, like the
understanding.
Like man, we went through hell.
They think we're gay.
They think we're weak.
It's just like we're.
Nature's weird balance.
But yeah, we're automaticallyassumed to be sweet.
Well, we have to be twice astough, because if you're
(20:40):
light-skinned in a blackneighborhood, you are
automatically victimized,targeted, berated, bullied, in
my case, raped a couple of times.
My brother's trying to rape me,my mother's trying to kill me.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
I guess what kind of catches me is just like the
amount of homosexual rape.
That's something I I mean I'veheard ghetto stories.
I've lived by ghettos, nearghettos, in ghettos, ghetto
friends I haven't heard thatmuch about like I've heard about
beating up, mugging, shit likethat Jumping, but not homosexual
(21:17):
rape In the ghetto.
I've never heard that.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Because this is what I'm going to tell you.
I had flash forward like 30years later and I'm working at a
uh, a prison halfway house.
I was kind of working as a drugcounselor, even though I wasn't
licensed as one because of mybrain.
They're like you got thepaperwork but you got the brains
, or here you go and the blackguys there would.
(21:43):
Well, they were mostly allblack.
It just happened to be becauseit was in the ghetto, so it
isn't race-based, but it justhappened to be that this
particular location 99% of themwere black but also feeds into
the ghetto.
Almost all of them experiencedsome type of sexual assault.
0.1% of them talk about it.
(22:04):
So that's the issue.
That's the issue, they wouldtell me, because I'm
non-threatening, so that's sortof like oh, he's light-skinned,
he's smaller, even though I'mfreakishly fucking strong and I
can fight because I've had toand I've done some training.
So I'm not just some dude whofights like a wind.
No, I've done some training.
(22:24):
I made the national team inSambo when I was 19.
Do you know who Sambo is?
No, do you know who Khabib isin UFC?
Yes, what he does.
I made the national team when Iwas 19.
I can fight.
Yeah, I know you wouldn't thinkit.
No one ever does.
There's a whole other side, butI hate it.
(22:48):
There's a whole other side, butI hate it.
It's a complicated issue.
It makes me sick to my stomachIf you and him start fighting.
I mean, now I'm old, I'm alittle better with it.
I'll try to break you up, butas far as like sitting watching
it, no, ew, disgusting you know.
But like last year there wassome crazy, some guy.
(23:08):
Crazy guy with a razor bladewas at a farmer's market.
I was, I was managing and he'sa little guy, but he still
poured out a razor blade andharassing old ladies.
Every guy there was your size,guess you tackled him and put
him in a fucking chokehold.
Guess who jumped in after I hadhim down?
The rest of the fucking guys.
I'm the smallest guy there.
(23:29):
I'm the one that has him downin a fucking rear, naked choke,
with the blade over there.
Did you think?
Speaker 2 (23:36):
about it, or did you just react?
Speaker 1 (23:39):
No, I'm very good.
My thought process in themiddle of an emergency is very,
very fast.
I'm that dude who calculatesexactly what's happening.
A friend of mine was trying toattack me once because he got
drunk and I was protecting womenfrom him, which meant I was
protecting him from going inprison for 20 years.
You know, like vice versa, andhe pulled a knife and I was
(24:02):
calculating, like if I do thisand I do that, he's still.
And I'm like blub, blub, blub,blub, like no, I don't want to
kill him, so I put down.
And I do that, he's still.
And I'm like blah, blah, blah,blah, like no, I don't want to
kill him.
So I put down what I had, Idon't want to kill him.
And you know he ended upgetting stabbed twice and going
to jail.
And I looked around like I'mprobably the only person here
strong enough to hold him downwithout hurting him.
Because when you're actuallystrong, weak people use force.
(24:25):
Strong people use control.
A weak person.
A strong person knows hisstrength.
It can.
Just you ain't going nowhere,dog.
Now let's calm down.
You see the difference.
So I had to hold him down untilthe police came, until the
paramedics came.
Same thing Last year guy was onthe ground, purple, not
(24:46):
breathing.
Somebody was trying to cprweekly.
There was no life left in him.
It was actually a dark alley.
I heard I heard the conversion.
I pulled out my rambo knifebecause I knew there were some
druggies involved and I backedhim off like y'all, try
something.
That's all I ask, right?
They backed off and then Icompressed his chest down to his
(25:06):
fucking back and after a fewcompressions he gurgled and then
he started breathing again.
The paramedics came.
Rambo knife yeah, I had a bigone.
I carry a machete in my car.
Listen, I'm a pacifist, but noteveryone else is, and I will
not be a victim.
I will offer to buy you acoffee first.
(25:28):
I even had people hit me andI'm like dude, I'm still
standing, I didn't even quake.
Can we talk about this now?
Because you see, it's not goingto end well for you.
I don't even need the punchback, it didn't even hurt.
Let's go have a coffee.
I've done that more than once.
You just want to?
Speaker 2 (25:44):
de-escalate it Get out of it.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
I'll take that.
It didn't even do nothing to me.
Yeah, I got hit with a brickfrom behind in the ghetto
because I looked white.
Somebody snuck me from behindwith a brick, broke my jaw.
I didn't even flinch.
I turned around.
They were running down thestreet.
God just knew I was going totake some punishment in my life.
(26:10):
And it's ironic and I find itweird because my whole life
people have looked at me as likeI'm probably the weakest guy
out there, the softest guy outthere.
The reality is I'm not thestrongest motherfucker you'll
ever meet, but I'm the mostpassive.
I don't want no smoke, but I'mthe guy that I don't want no
smoke, but I'm the guy that willrun to the gunman.
(26:31):
Is there a conscious thoughtbehind that?
Because I believe I'm the onethat will survive.
There's just an understandingin me that there are certain
things I can accomplish and I'llsurvive.
I'll run to the gunman andsomehow come out that bitch
alive.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
So you maybe.
Maybe you feel kind ofinvincible.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Not invincible.
Like I'm not going to runstraight to the gun barrel, like
I understand that because ofthe as fast as my mind works and
I'm strong, that there was noguarantee I'll survive, but of
all these people standing here,I probably have the best chance.
So no, I'm not invincible.
I'm calculating in chaos andmost people freeze in chaos.
(27:15):
And why don't you?
Probably because I've beenthrough enough of it.
I got chased home every fuckingday, got beat up, got raped
twice, got my own brotherstrying to put dicks in my ass.
I think I had to figure somethings out pretty early.
I've been conditioned tosurvive in chaos because I was
born in it.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
When did the chaos stop?
Did it ever stop?
No, it hasn't.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
Not.
Yet it got worse At my worst,when the chaos and everything
else is finding its new identityand I'm trying to figure out
how to survive.
And they said that you're notthat part of that.
You're not supposed to existBecause someone like you, when
the doctors and you read it,when I was in the psych ward and
the doctor said someone likeyou doesn't exist because you're
(28:00):
supposed to Like, all we everhope for someone like you is to
get them to be able to feedthemselves, to be functioning,
and you're sitting here readingCrime and Punishment by
Dostoevsky.
There's no book on you.
There's no book on you.
What I remember was when I tooka lighter and about eight
different times burned my fleshand watched it burn.
How long ago was that?
(28:21):
I think the last one was 10, 15years ago, a little longer than
that, maybe 15 or 20.
So that's like a bunch ofdifferent times.
These are different times.
The first one was almost mywhole.
No shit, I lose track.
It was this one, because Ididn't have it quite under
control yet.
So I lost a part of my arm andit was just a lighter.
That's fucking horrible.
(28:43):
This is the remainder of.
I don't even know what happened, but I just did it and I had a
steak knife and one of them wasreally bad.
I had to go to the emergencyroom because it was going to
bleed out Just took the steakknife and did that.
Once here my leg almost got cutoff and there's a couple here.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Just like self-harm, Like were you unconscious and
aware of it?
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Yeah, why Were you unconscious and aware of it?
Yeah, why that level ofself-hate, that level of
psychosis, that level of holdingtoo much in, that level of
self-punishment and self-blamefor being weak, for being right,
for being druggy, for being?
I mean, I was taught.
(29:25):
Another lesson I was taughtvery young is that I'm
completely worthless, I'm notshit, I'm nothing.
That the pain on the outsidewas actually alleviated the pain
on the inside.
So imagine what the pain on theinside was if setting yourself
on fire was less the diagnoses.
(29:49):
I mean they have a drug death acouple of times.
That's a whole otherpsychiatric system in America.
It's fucking insane.
It's all bought and paid for,it's all corporate, it's nothing
has to do with actually helpinganybody.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Esmeralda Cuban Bakery sits in a little
unassuming, slightly run-downmini-mall in Lehigh Acres.
The windows are covered withvinyl sheets showing generic
pictures of cakes and desserts.
You can't see the inside fromthe outside.
Some would say it was a hole inthe wall, but these are always
(30:27):
the best places in my experience.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
Okay, come here for a second.
Hello, my love, hi, hi, baby,hi, do you want a coffee?
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Yeah, you gotta get a coffee.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
You gotta get a coffee.
The one they're going to giveyou is not like mine.
This is my special blend.
They make this for me.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Malachi is loud and charismatic when he enters.
The ladies who work there seemto know him and they smile back
as they greet him.
I order some Cuban braised pork, yellow rice and mashed yucca
from a buffet-style counter.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
This is the spot.
As you can tell, they're verysweet, they humor me, the
service is great, but the coffeeis the best.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
I've never quite had anything like this.
It's different.
I couldn't drink it all thetime, so I got like a sweet
meter.
Like this it's different.
I couldn't drink it all thetime, so I got like a sweet
meter.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
Well, that's why I say it's really sweet for anyone
else.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
But this is for me, it's like my grandma's, my
grandma's.
She's sweetened my sugar.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
Give you an example.
You notice, I had to stir moresugar in there.
I had to stir the bottombecause it wasn't sweet enough.
Really have you?
Speaker 2 (31:48):
always liked coffee, your whole life.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Yeah, I think so.
I think one time I had a bit.
I remember one time I had alittle too much control over me.
I was late for work because Icouldn't stop to get my coffee.
I stopped and I missed my busYears ago and I went okay, let's
mess it with my money.
So I switched to tea for like acouple of years.
Somehow I got to tea for like acouple years but somehow I got
(32:12):
back to coffee.
I I do need it in the morning.
Um, it does have a certainlevel of control over me, but
then of all the things thatcontrol me, I'd rather coffee
than anything the hell else.
There there was a very, verypowerful truth in the simple
methods of picking your battles.
You know, sometimes you gottatake the L, save the strength
for a more important battle.
And the simple methods ofpicking your battles.
Sometimes you've got to takethe L and save the strength for
(32:32):
a more important battle.
So if caffeine is going to bemy L, so be it.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
You've got to have something.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
Right In American culture.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
yes, You've got to have advice.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
I watch a lot of and it's it's been soothing and it's
helping me get gratitude andit's grounding and it's bringing
me to a better place.
Recently I've been watching alot of people in different
countries, say, say, russia,china, a lot of the former
(33:11):
Soviet Union countries,kazakhstan, where people are
like living in mountains orthey've been living in some
Arctic village and they live offof the most basic necessities
and just the most basicexistence and they find such a
peace in it like there was one Iwatched last night.
(33:32):
The guy had been alone for 20years, you know he pretty much
lived off of like rabbits, thathe caught, fish that he caught.
He would go walk five, fivehours to the village, like once
a week, to tell stories andpeople would give him food and
he would use that and likereading the newspaper, like he
would get a bunch of newspapersin that that trip, that was it,
(33:54):
that was his life and he wouldmake some homemade bread.
No vice, that was his thing,just the simplicity of existing,
the gratitude in existing.
So I I really have to questiondo you really need a vice?
You know, I think that we've.
(34:15):
Really, the more I look at it,the more.
I wonder if we've beenconditioned to think we all need
a vice Because that keeps usthe door open for other
weaknesses.
Like, as long as you have avice, I can use that door to get
to you.
I know that there's a crack inyour armor and I think a lot of
(34:36):
society now is being conditionedto make sure that there's a
crack somewhere that someoneelse can use.
Control Everything is aboutcontrol.
I mean, that's just not tosound like some really weird
weirdo, but in the past, withthe whole Trump and it probably
started with Obama and Trump andthey're really starting to look
(35:02):
at how much control we arereally under and how much we're
being lied to, or how much wetake or how much we disbelieve
under, and how much we're beinglied to and how much we take or
how much we disbelieve.
Like they pointed out somethingabout obama.
Like I knew something aboutobama a lot of people don't talk
about, especially being a vegan.
I understood this was obama andthe mazonto protection act.
(35:22):
Like he literally said, we'regoing to poison your food, but
no one can tell you about it.
And half of his cabinet workedfor masanto.
I think almost all of hiscabinet.
I think it was.
Almost.
All of them worked for masantoat one point in their life.
Obama decided to protect them,decided that anyone who brings
(35:45):
any of masanto's productsproducts into Russia will be
convicted as a terrorist.
That's just when I startedwaking up like wait a minute.
Obama dropped more bombs thanany president in the history of
the United States, but he wasgiven the Peace Award.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
Wait a minute.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
Make that make sense.
That's when I started waking upand going wait a minute,
something's going on here.
Donald Trump, you ready forthis?
The only president in historywhose descendants never owned
slaves?
Obama's did.
(36:26):
We are told so many things tomanipulate and control us.
I think one of the biggest onesright now is the black
community.
You know, you're being toldyou're born victims because that
way you'll stay victims and wekeep your votes.
You're being told that you havea right to commit crimes
(36:49):
because that way you'll keepcommitting them, won't rise up,
you will keep your votes.
We're being told math is racistbecause you're too stupid to do
math.
Because you won't rise up,we'll keep your votes.
Lowest number of black andhispanic support among democrats
in history.
Because they finally said atleast the Republicans really
(37:11):
don't give a fuck about us.
They're not actively trying tokeep us down, they just don't
give a fuck.
The powers that be who matter.
Now I'm not going all the waydown the rabbit hole, going like
the Illuminati and probablyit's true but I'm not going down
that rabbit hole.
Alright, probably some truththere, but I'm not going down
that rabbit hole.
Alright, probably some truththere, but I'm not going that
far.
I am just going to say thepowers that be want to keep
(37:32):
powering and we don't fuckingmatter.
I mean, it's just for me.
Here's the thing.
Life is a bitch.
This eight hour a day work weekI've never done that.
I've never kept a permanent jobmy whole life.
Because I get bored as fuck, mymind wanders.
I start going into my crazyplace.
(37:52):
So I figured out what works forme is short projects and for a
while I did good.
There were some times I wasmaking $400 a fucking day but
doing nothing.
So I'd build a retaining walland people just liked me.
So I'd cut bushes and be likehere's $300, cut those bushes,
you know.
Or I'd be inside stripping aroof and be like here, we'll
(38:12):
come back in three weeks, wewant it done.
Okay, see you in three weeks.
And I pretty much made my lifeduring that.
I don't know how.
And again there were times whenI was younger and stronger
Because again, I was physicallyfreakishly strong.
If you leave me alone and tellme this needs to be done, it'll
(38:35):
be done.
They didn't have to worry aboutme and I spent my whole life
that way.
This concept of going to thesame job day in and day out,
eight to 12 hours a day for 10to 20 years.
I would end up on a roof.
I don't know how people do itand I also understand.
It breaks your soul.
You don't have a brain foranything else.
(38:57):
You come home, kids scream,wife screams.
You get maybe 15 minutes toyourself a day.
Most people walking thesestreets right now are so fucking
insane.
But they're insane from pureexhaustion.
And so if you give them asimple story to believe, that's
all they want.
That's all they have a strengthfor.
(39:19):
They want a leader, becausethey don't have the strength to
lead themselves, they'recompletely exhausted and beaten.
What was your first job that youever had?
Well, when I was 13 or 14, Iactually this is funny.
Here's a part of Americana foryou.
This is about as American as itgets.
(39:39):
Actually it was a Muslim blackguy who boy talk about a short
Hercules this guy was just rightwho owned a little newsstand on
the corner in the ghetto and Iwould stay it up in the aisle
and sell newspapers to cars.
(40:00):
That's about as a mass ofnewspapers, as a kid for a
Muslim, you're right.
But then you add the Muslims sothat you kind of add that
Americana melting pot.
Add that little bit, add thatlittle melting pot.
It's not rock well Americana,it's real life Americana.
When you had that first job whenyou were that age, what did you
(40:23):
want to be when you got older?
I was a child genius.
I was studying virology at 13.
University of PennsylvaniaMedical School wanted me to come
audit a class for the semesteron infectious diseases when I
was 14.
Medical School wanted me tocome audit one of their audit
semester.
They wanted to start teachingme at 14.
(40:44):
Yep, I got a scholarship,full-ride scholarship to
Germantown Friends, which is oneof the top ten schools in the
entire fucking country.
They paid.
I wanted to be a researchscientist.
I was groomed to be a researchscientist.
I was supposed to be the kidwho cured diseases.
I found microbiology justabsolutely fascinating.
(41:11):
I found immunopathologyfascinating the concept on so
many levels.
The simple virus to me is itjust encompasses everything in
existence and I'll tell you why.
Very simple, okay.
It is the border between lifeand death.
(41:31):
They still haven't decidedwhether a virus is alive or dead
, depending on what scientistsyou ask, because it doesn't
really do anything until youactivate it.
It's just a clump ofnothingness until it bumps into
you, then it activates.
So is it alive or dead?
They still depending on who youask.
Right, that's fascinating.
(41:52):
What it does is fascinating.
And I also think it'sfascinating in the sense that to
me it's proof of God as greatas we are, as powerful as we are
, god's simplest creation, right, mr Fucker?
I think that's God's littlereminder Don't ever get too big
(42:15):
for your britches, because Imight turn that switch off.
It can't be by accident that weare the most advanced living
being that we know of and thatlittle don't even know if it's
alive or not.
Like you said, one littleswitch, we're done.
(42:38):
That can't be by accident.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
Somebody's looking up .
Speaker 1 (42:44):
Well, I mean, somebody once said you're always
a hero of your own story.
Some of them stories.
You ain't the fucking hero, butyet you are.
That's another problem withsociety that they're always the
hero of their own story.
The truth doesn't allow that,so they don't allow the truth.
(43:05):
The truth needs to fit me beingthe hero.
If your truth doesn't make methe hero, I don't want to hear
it, and the truth doesn'tfucking matter.
Speaker 2 (43:17):
Do we need the stories?
Do we need help?
Speaker 1 (43:20):
Only if we learn from them.
If we don't learn from them,they're fucking fodder.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
On our next episode we find out whether or not
Malachi thinks OnlyFans modelsare the heroes of their own
story, the true origins of hisgay uncles, as he calls them,
and we hear Malachi's own secretrecipe on how to make the
(43:51):
perfect male stripper.
You won't want to miss this one.
The Redacted Podcast isproduced by myself, matt Bender,
and my wife, pamela Bender.
Make sure to go out there andgive us a like, a share, share
it with your friends, rate us.
Every little bit helps.
Thanks for tuning in.
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