September 1, 2025 • 36 mins
In this episode, David Nakhla is joined by seasoned deacons John Stahl (Emmanuel OPC, Wilmington, DE), Jared Grigg (Acacia Reformed OPC, Manassas, VA), and Dan Barnes (Trinity Reformed OPC, Lanham, MD) for a conversation on the unique challenges faced by solo deacons in their ministries.
The work of a deacon is vital to the life of the church. Deacons demonstrate Christ’s mercy by caring for the physical needs of the congregation. By providing aid to the poor, caring for the needs of the sick, supporting widows, and tending to those in hardship, deacons are at the heart of mercy ministry. The institution of the office in Acts 6, where the apostles instructed the church to appoint seven men, shows the biblical principle of plurality in this work.
Yet, in some small congregations, a plurality of deacons is not always possible. How does a deacon function when he serves alone? Listen as these men share practical wisdom managing expectations, leaning on the gifts of fellow church members, and faithfully carrying out mercy ministry in the strength God provides.
Referenced in this episode:
Presbytery Diaconal Committees
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
A deacon holds a lot of bandwidth internally and he
can only hold so much.
And so if you're a solo deacon,encourage other people to serve
, because you can't do it aloneforever.
It may be to do it for a while,but you can't do it forever.
And then you need to let yourpeople know so they can come
alongside you because really, adeacon, you know you're a
cheerleader for their ministry.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Welcome to the Reformed Deacon, a casual
conversation with topicsspecifically designed to help
local Reformed Deacons.
There are nearly a thousanddeacons in the OPC alone, so
let's take this opportunity tolearn from and encourage one
another.
We're so glad you could join us.
Let's jump into our nextepisode.
Hi, my name is David Nockla andI serve as the administrator
(00:41):
for the OPC Committee on DiakonMinistries.
On today's episode of theReformed Deacon, we're
addressing a topic that many ofour churches face.
It's the unique challenge ofserving as a solo deacon.
We hope you'll find thisepisode to offer encouragement
and practical insights fordeacons who serve in such
contexts.
Joining me today are threedeacons who have all had
(01:04):
experience serving as a lonedeacon.
John Stahl serves as a deaconat Emanuel OPC in Wilmington,
delaware.
He's a member of the Committeeon Diagnostic Ministries and he
is now serving with a fellowdeacon, but has experienced
being the only deacon for a time.
Also, we have Jared Grigg.
He serves as a deacon at AcaciaReformed OPC in Manassas,
(01:26):
virginia.
I think they recentlyparticularized Is that right?
Yeah, and he too has a fellowdeacon now, but for a good while
he was serving in that churchplant alone.
And then, finally, we have withus Dan Barnes.
He is a solo deacon currentlyat Trinity Reformed OPC in
Lanham, maryland, so we lookforward to hearing from Dan as
(01:48):
well.
Welcome to each of you,brothers.
Thanks for joining in thisimportant conversation.
Great to be here.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Thanks for having us Super.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
It's too bad, but a number of OP congregations find
themselves with diaconates ofone, a solo deacon.
Sometimes this is due topositive developments like
church planting, of course, asis the case with Jared at Acacia
.
Other times it just may be lackof training or awareness or,
probably most often, there'sjust not qualified men in the
(02:18):
congregation, or some who arequalified but they're just not
willing to consider serving inthis important office.
When we look back at Acts 6,when the office of deacon was
instituted, the apostlesinstructed the church to do what
?
To appoint seven men.
And when we look at that, weright off the bat see the
(02:40):
importance of plurality, theprinciple of plurality.
They said in Acts Therefore,brothers, pick out among you
seven men of good repute, fullof spirit and of wisdom, whom we
will appoint to this duty.
There's good reason for thismodel for plurality.
(03:01):
Plurality providesaccountability.
There is certainly wisdomshared through the counsel of
many.
It's also more hands to thepump, it's the division of labor
, and then, even when we'resitting with folks, a second set
of eyes and ears can be sohelpful.
And then, finally, there's justthe built-in support and
(03:22):
redundancy.
All good reasons for plurality.
If scripture models andcommends plurality of deacons,
then the question is how can weserve faithfully when that ideal
is not yet realized?
And we say yet realized becausewe do look forward to that time
when our lone deacons haveothers coming alongside them to
(03:44):
share the load.
So today we hope to explorethis question by listening to
the experiences and challengesfaced by these three men.
So, brothers, maybe we canstart with each of you telling
us a bit about your church,describe the type of region
you're in and about how manypeople would be in worship and
average age, just to give us asense of your congregations.
(04:06):
And, dan, maybe we'll startwith you, certainly.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
We're a diverse church.
We're located around 14 milesfrom the nation's capital and
some 23 miles from Annapolis,Maryland, so we're kind of like
sandwiched between the twonations' capital and the state
capital, and we currently haveabout 21 members.
The average age we're aging outabout 63 years of age, so we
range in age from members fromaround 21 through 76,.
(04:34):
I want to say, On a givenSunday we have around 25 people
attending the morning worshipservice.
Unfortunately, in the eveningit's a little less than that,
but typically it's about 25folks attending worship service.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Do you have a number of walk-in people coming in for
help from off the streets?
Speaker 4 (04:52):
We do have some people coming in.
What we have is we have athriving food pantry that we
created and we have monthly fooddrives, and so we're able to
invite people through that means, and sometimes they'll show up
for worship service.
We also have an English class,where we're also able to
minister to people around thearea and also invite them into
service, and that's how we havepeople come to service as well.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Okay, great, great, great.
Well, it'd be interesting tohear more from you, especially
given that setting.
John Stahl, why don't you giveus a sense of the church where
you serve?
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
So we're in a suburban area in North
Wilmington, delaware, so it's inthe metropolitan Philadelphia
area.
We have about 140 membersprobably 120, I think on average
coming to morning worship wehave 55 children in the
congregations.
Our average age is probably inthe low 40s, but we do have a
(05:49):
strong population that are nearretirement or retirement age
also, so we have a decentdistribution.
I would say our weakest innumbers is probably middle age,
40s and 50s.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
John Jared, how about your church Acacia?
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Yeah, so we just recently particularized we are
located in Manassas, virginia,which is on the other side of
Dan, on the Virginia side, andso there's a giant beltway.
They call it the CapitolBeltway.
It's 495.
And so we're on the other sideon 66 West, our average age.
It's kind of interestingbecause I hear you guys have
(06:28):
some older folks.
We have probably 30s to 50s.
That's kind of our prime range.
We do have one guy that justbecame a member.
He's 100 years old, which wasreally cool.
God's been really merciful andthat was cool to watch and be a
part of.
It's a pretty suburban area.
I would say Manassas and be apart of.
It's a pretty suburban area.
I would say Manassas, virginiais pretty sprawled out.
(06:48):
It's a little bit further westof DC, so we don't have a lot we
rent.
We were in a movie theater butnow we're in a community college
, so we don't have a building,which gives us some versatility
in certain ways but not inothers.
So that's us in a nutshell.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
So brothers, as you think back to those years when
you were serving as the onlydeacon and Dan, that's current
for you today what do you thinkwere some of the biggest
challenges that you faced as alone deacon?
You want to start, john.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Well, in the beginning was why is there only
one of me?
Well, in the beginning was whyis there only one of me?
Because I started with probablyseven other men, however many
years ago it was about 14, 16years ago but, analyzing it, it
was more just some moving away,retirement, passing away.
(07:39):
There wasn't a solid reason whywe had come down.
The session had tried toencourage some men to train over
the years and when the few thatwere willing to do that wound
up deciding against being aregular deacon.
So I would say the biggestthing was well, this is a lot
(08:00):
different than what I had signedup for, lot different than what
I had signed up for.
And I realized that how am Igoing to do everything that
we've done before?
And I came to realize, well, Ican't do everything that I
didn't before.
So as a deacon, we can't doeverything that we did before.
And so how I deal with it?
(08:21):
I lower my expectations alittle bit.
But one of the things I reallythink is important is for the
deacons to at least have someone-to-one private conversation
with each member.
So we have a feel, we have apulse of the congregation as
individuals and I realize, well,there's no way that's going to
(08:42):
happen, at least for the timebeing.
So I pretty much concentratedmore on trying to look for
obvious opportunities of membersthat might have needs.
Often it seemed to concentrateon a single man, but it wasn't
always that there were, you know, some women with needs.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Thank you, dan.
I guess in a sense I'm assumingthat you've always been the old
knee deacon, or was there atime when you had other deacons
there?
Speaker 4 (09:11):
In the history of the church.
We're 25 years plus old.
There's been two deacons.
One was promoted, elevated tobe an elder.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Oh, I like to say demoted, he was demoted, he was
demoted, so he's demoted.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
Amen, he's demoted, so he's demoted.
Amen Some 10 years ago he waselevated to be an elder and so
for the past 10 plus years I'vebeen the sole deacon.
We have a small pool of peoplein our church so we can't really
draw.
He's got 100-something peopleso he's able to have a big pool
of people that might be willingand fit the biblical model for
being a deacon.
(09:44):
Our congregation is notcomprised that way, so it's
really myself that's been thereand looks like it's going to
continue to be that way for sometime.
Pastor does try and encouragesome of the men in the church to
become deacons, but they don'tfeel that there's calling as it
is right now.
The one thing about being asmaller congregation affords me
the opportunity to have moreone-on-ones with people.
I know everybody by name.
(10:04):
I know their pet's names, allthose types of intimate details,
I know the financial status ofsome of them when they're in
need, et cetera, et cetera.
So that's made it a little biteasier for me and I'm also able
to just draw from the elder thatwas elevated.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
He serves as an informal deacon and the two of
us have regular recurringmeetings on matters pertaining
to the church.
So you've, in a sense, the wayyou've compensated is with this
elder serving, in a sense, asecond deacon.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
Yeah, and then we also have committees like the
building maintenance committee.
As the deacon, I'm the head ofthat.
That.
I have a lot of men that arepart of that actually utilize
their talents to help get thingsdone around the church.
And then we have my wife, who'slike a I guess we call it a
(10:52):
soul deaconess or whatever youwant to call her.
She's a big helpmate when itcomes to things like making sure
that people who have food needs, et cetera, et cetera, have
those needs met?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Wonderful Thank you, jared.
So I think you started as asolo deacon, or did you start a
different church?
Why don't you give us yourpersonal history as the deacon?
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Yeah, so I started as a deacon at Sterling OPC 12
years ago I think I lose trackof time but I actually had a
very, very good diaconaltraining with the local session
there and then the deacons there.
I really got the privilege toserve under some older men that
(11:26):
had their wits about them, andso for me my experience as a
deacon was built off the back ofthat.
I know not everybody gets toexperience that, but I'm so
grateful because when I got toAcacia I got to work off the
backs of those men and that wasa blessing for me, because when
I came in we had another deaconwho became an elder, and so then
(11:47):
I became the solo deacon for Ithink I want to say two years or
so, and so I kind of had amodel of okay, this is what
deaconing looks like.
I got to see that from oldermen through their whole lives.
You know one of the deaconsthat I served with that trained
me, one of my mentors, you knowhe passed a couple years ago and
(12:08):
so and he was a deacon up untilthe day he died, and so it was
cool.
I think one of the challengesfor me early on in a mission
work before particularizationwas this feeling of kind of
overwhelmed and then thetemptation to be guilt-driven in
a way.
Right, and that's not whatmercy ministry is.
And so that was difficult forme in the beginning, feeling
(12:29):
like, oh, I'm not doing enough,I'm not doing enough, I don't
have enough bandwidth to getthis done.
I'm not seeing these people,yada, yada, yada, and realizing
those conversations we have inour heads and they're not
actually what's reality.
You know, God calls us to servein the capacity, in the
intentionality that we can, butwe can't do everything.
And so getting people to comealongside, I think that's one of
the things you know.
Kind of honing in on the firstquestion, you know what is the
(12:51):
congregation might not think of.
It's the reality that a deaconholds a lot of bandwidth
internally and he can only holdso much.
And so if you're a solo deacon,encourage other people to serve
, because you can't do it aloneforever.
You may be able to do it for awhile, but you can't do it
forever.
And then you need to let yourpeople know so they can come
alongside you because really adeacon and you know you're a
(13:12):
cheerleader for their ministry.
And so if you're trying tochange the light bulbs and
you're trying to, you know,unplug the switches and try to
put out fire here and there,like you're just going to run
yourself into the ground.
And I've done that and Ilearned my lesson I need God's
people around me.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
That's really great.
I have to say that in ourchurch what makes the deacon's
job a little bit more mild isthat we have trustees that are
overseeing the caretaking of thechurch property itself, so at
least that burden is off.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
You have trustees.
Wow, I'm a trustee too.
I don't know that, the trusteeyeah.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
Well, I'm a trustee also, but I'm not the head
trustee.
When you're the only deacon,you're the head deacons.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Yeah, A board of trustees, which is in our book
of church order right, is agreat way of utilizing the gifts
of those who may never bequalified to serve as deacons
but can carry out a lot of thework, whether they're skilled at
construction or maintenance orfinances or what have you.
A lot of our churches haveutilized that.
So, brothers, in whatsituations do you feel that it's
(14:20):
essential to have a second setof eyes or ears?
Speaker 4 (14:24):
Particularly when it comes to spiritual matter.
A lot of times we're counselingfolks on financial matters and
they'll be thinking more alongtheir own financial lines than
God and giving to God.
So that becomes more of aspiritual matter and I usually
call the elder and pastor andaddress those when people are
refusing to submit to some ofthe guidance that we provided
them for getting their financialhouse in order.
(14:44):
So, particularly when it comesto spiritual matter, I think
that's when you definitely haveto call in heavy hitters.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Thank you Dan.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
I think it's actually easier, in a way, to deal with
outsiders because you don't knowthem.
When you're dealing withmembers, you're typically, and
the more you work with them andI shouldn't say work, because
we're relating to them asmembers They've become friends
of yours and so realizing, youknow, with friendship there's
(15:14):
emotions involved, and so thedecision making could very
easily be less subjective, andso you really need, even for
financial decisions, do I wantto give this person these funds?
Is it too much that I'm tryingto give them?
I'm trying to relieve them.
You know, as a friend, it mightnot be the best, so it's really
(15:36):
helpful to have at least oneother person to bounce that off
of.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
It's really good, john, I had not actually thought
about that situation that, yeah, I had not actually thought
about that situation that, yeah,when it's just you meeting with
them, it's you deciding asopposed to the diaconate
deciding something, and whenyou're by yourself, it's hard
for them and you to distinguishbetween the diaconate and you
personally, right, yeah?
Speaker 3 (16:01):
That's good, the more I've thought about it.
Well, that's why I'm a deacon,because I kind of feel like
everybody I minister to is afriend, because that's part of
being a deacon is buildingfriendships and relationships.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Jared, what's been your experience where you feel
that that second set of eyes orears is so essential?
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Well, I think these brothers have probably kind of
hit a lot of the big nails onthe head.
But I think another thing toois when you're dealing with
women, I think it's critical andthis comes from you, david, but
you know, a lot of times thedeacon qualification has to deal
with the wife as well, becausethere's going to be a lot of
situations where you need yourwife and you need to lean on her
, and so sometimes there'sconfidential things, and so
(16:53):
there's been many a times wherewe've had a situation and it's
like, okay, you know, we need awoman to kind of look at this,
and so I'll call my wife andshe's just been such a good
gauge of relating to her andkind of little deaconing her.
So any sort of situation thatrequires a little bit more
vulnerability with the oppositesex, I think it's a requirement
really that your wife be engaged, or another deacon's wife be
engaged, or an elder's wife, youknow somebody.
Well, I think you get the point.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Yeah, good, that's good.
How have you, other brothers,dealt with situations where,
yeah, you're ministering to asingle woman or that has needs
and you're a solo deacon?
How have you addressed that?
Speaker 4 (17:24):
Same matter what he just articulated.
Leverage your wife, leveragethe elder's wives, the pastor's
wife, and that would be critical.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Good.
Are there other situations thatcome to mind where any of you
feel that it's essential to havethat second set of eyes or ears
?
Speaker 1 (17:41):
You know one thing Christian men ought to have
their wits about them.
And so sometimes there's maybea spidey sense, right, like
something comes through, likemaybe it's a weird email or
maybe it's something with insideyour church with one of the
members, and it just doesn't sitright with your subconscious or
something like that.
Right, I know everybody's hadthat and you're like, wait a
(18:01):
minute, subconsciously like thissounds maybe right, maybe some,
maybe not.
And I think that's too where Ithink that's your conscience
saying like, hey, man, you needto discuss this because with the
multitude of counselors,there's wisdom, right, and so
you need to rely on the menaround you, and if you don't
have other deacons, then it'sgot to be your elders.
(18:23):
That was a real blessing for methrough this transitionary
period while I was the solodeacon.
It's really just.
I mean, the relationships thatI developed with my elders was
awesome.
I got to work way more closelywith them.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
You guys talked about the burden of the workload as
being a single deacon.
What did you learn as someworkarounds to addressing that?
You mentioned the trustees.
That's one avenue, but werethere other avenues of
workarounds just to spread theload a little bit?
Speaker 4 (18:55):
Yes, we have the committees that I mentioned.
We have committees that we'vestood up.
I just leveraged the talentsfrom the various committees to
get things done.
I have a building andmaintenance committee.
We have mercy ministrycommittees.
I rely heavily upon thosecommittees and the people that
comprise those committees to getthings done.
That's a workaround for me.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Yeah, can you describe a little bit more about
this mercy ministry committeethat you have?
What is the nature of what theydo and who would be on that
committee?
Does it involve men and women?
Speaker 4 (19:26):
It involves men and women.
We have the food pantry that we, as I indicate, we, minister to
the community on a monthlybasis.
The committee it's an informalcommittee, but it's a committee
nonetheless.
It's comprised of men and womenof the church and they actually
meet on a monthly basis andprovide food, the physical food,
but then, more importantly, asour pastor indicates more so,
(19:46):
the spiritual food.
And then we have the buildingmaintenance committee, which is
responsible for keeping theproperty in good order and
appearance.
Then we also have an Englishclass as well.
So that's my workaround.
My workaround has really beenjust to have these subcommittees
.
I don't have, as I said, Idon't have another deacon I can
rely on, but thankfully it'ssmall, but the people are
(20:08):
willing to participate in thelife of the church through these
various committees.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Good, good, john, you went from seven deacons to one
deacon.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
You know it was gradual.
Maybe it would have crossedseven years or whatever.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
But I mean, but talk about like when you were feeling
overloaded and you felt like Ican't do it all and you had to
reduce.
What you could do that was oneworkaround was to reduce, but
were there other things that youimplemented?
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Yeah, I would say there's, and still it's true
today.
But we do have a committeewhich I'll talk about.
It's called Be Kind One toAnother.
It was started many, many yearsago at her church and is still
is active today, but before it.
So, don't forget, I think thatcommittee has worked out.
(20:55):
You know, it depends on who's onthe committee, it depends what
year it is, what they'reactually doing, but it seems
like we often and part of that'sthe deacons, part of that's the
session two at times it seemslike we form teams of people to
meet individuals' needs, like weused to have a blind woman who
(21:16):
was a member and we realized youknow, my wife and I worked with
her on some things.
There is an elder who was adeacon in the past and he spent
time with her, his wife, therewas a bunch of different people
that helped in different ways,and so, as a deacon and this was
(21:37):
the time where I was the onlydeacon, I think twice I pulled
together all the people I knewthat were helping, at least the
main people that were helping,so that we could just get
together and be on the same pageas how we're trying to help her
.
What needs to be done.
There was another case where wewere concerned about some guys
(21:58):
in the church who just thefinancial situation, and so the
session appointed two of themSal, along with me as the deacon
to discuss that together andwork with the men.
So, yeah, there's work togetherwith other ordained leaders,
but also this committee, the bekind to one another, is not
(22:20):
ordained officers, although itis under the auspices of the
deacons and it's been comprisedmainly of wives of deacons and
wives of elders, but it's notlimited to that.
It can be men and women.
Typically, the women are drawnto what they are doing,
obviously, we'll have a deaconsit on the meetings occasionally
(22:43):
, since it's under our office.
It is to meet the physicalneeds of the membership but also
social needs and all Some ofthe things that they do and, as
I said, it kind of variesdepending on what year it is and
who's involved, what their owninterests are, but they've sent
out cards to people, significantbirthdays or thank yous for a
(23:05):
ministry that a person is doingin the church, making phone
calls and visits to the shut-ins.
Every year they honor highschool and college graduates
with a gift and just a publicannouncement of what their plans
are, and we have cake togetherduring fellowship time.
A lot of this really are thingsthat a deacon wouldn't
(23:27):
necessarily have time to do, butit helps to make the meals for
their family or births, that,whatever reasons.
(23:52):
In a sense the deacons are ableto offload that to the women
and it's better for them to dothat anyway, because it's
usually the women that arepreparing and cooking the meals.
But not necessarily Some peoplethat sign up could be single
men who can purchase a meal orwhatever.
In the past they had somebodythat has been responsible for
(24:13):
transportation.
Maybe an older person needstransportation to doctor's
appointment or whatever.
And then these are more specialthings that they've done is
they had a meal or gathering forsome of the elderly in our
church and had the teens do someentertainment or presentations
(24:34):
for them.
And again it's another thingthat is building unity within
the church.
We've also had some women inthe past that have been
interested in organizing specialvolunteer days at the mission
in downtown Wilmington.
This committee has had a widevariety of ministries that
they've chosen to do and oftenthey choose to kind of fund
(24:58):
their own thing.
But they know that and we oftenwe will try to make sure that
they're given some petty funds,some cash from the deacon's fund
, so they can carry out theirwork uninhibited.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Yeah, it does seem that these unordained committees
can be an effective way ofsharing the load.
And wow, I mean the volume ofwork that the women do in all
our congregations is oftentimesvery diaconal in nature and yet
seldom do we acknowledge it asdiaconal and yet very thankful
for the work that they do.
That is true.
Do you guys think that the restof the congregation senses the
(25:34):
need for more deacons when wehave these situations of lone
deacons?
I mean, is that a burn for them?
And if not, what are ways thatwe could help the congregation
grow in its desire to raise upmore deacons?
Speaker 3 (25:48):
I can't say for sure that they're aware.
There are some, you know.
Those that I've communicatedwith you know that, yeah, I
could use a few more deaconshere and spread the load.
So they are aware and they'repraying for more.
And we do have two more deaconsin training that have been
approved.
We just we need them elected ina couple weeks.
(26:09):
But I think, as you mentioned inthe beginning, it needs to be
emphasized more, perhaps fromthe pulpit or on diaconal
announcements, just remindingthe church of the biblical
mandate to have a multiplicityof deacons.
And I've never done this, butespecially since I already
(26:31):
confessed that.
You know, when I was a singledeacon I just gave up the whole
idea of trying to meet withevery person.
I am hoping, when we have fourdeacons that we'll be able to
assign the membership andhopefully be able to on a
regular basis make contact witheach member.
But I think just asking thecongregation if they've talked
(26:52):
with a deacon one-on-one overthe last year, if they haven't,
then we're probably not doingthe work that we should be doing
.
And I know in our church Iprobably I might be surprised,
but I would venture that atleast half would say no, I guess
they haven't.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
Yeah, I'll take a swing at that.
Is the congregation going to beaware all the time of a
particular need?
Maybe, maybe not.
I think some of that depends on, you know, if it's their need,
obviously they're going to knowif they're in that circle.
One of the things that I loveabout Acacia is that there's a
real sense of community together, and I think some of that
(27:32):
probably stemmed from Sterlingand it probably stemmed from the
pastor from Sterling who was amissionary in Uganda, and so he
brought a lot of love and a lotof transparency and a lot of
vulnerability and that kind ofcoursed in and that continuity
carried over to Acacia.
And so one of the things that Ilove about particularly the men
is when we come to church wehug each other and we tell each
(27:55):
other that we love each otherbecause we're family, and I
think that's critical, becausewhat that does is that becomes,
you know, like, oh, we don'tjust go to church together on
Sunday.
It becomes like OK, well, we'rehaving dinner on Tuesday night.
Like we open our doors right,like come on in, man, we're not
over here, at least these clean,nice people on Sunday morning,
and then our doors are shutduring the week, like we're in
(28:17):
each other's homes, we're havingdinner, and so what that does
is that creates more and moresituational awareness, right For
everybody.
And that doesn't mean like Idon't have dinner with everybody
, everybody doesn't have dinnerwith me, but it creates more of
that Like, okay, we're morecomfortable around each other,
and the more comfortable are youaround with people, the better
you get to know them, the easierit becomes, the more they're
(28:39):
going to tell you about theirlife, right, like in a large way
, like, if you think about I'vebeen married going on 11 years,
right, and it's like I know waymore about my wife now than I
did 10 years ago.
But that took time.
And so I think, as a deacon,investing and kind of putting
yourself in a vulnerablesituation, sometimes you've got
to do that and you've got totake that risk because, at the
end of the day, god hasn't givenyou a spirit of fear, but it's
(29:01):
power and of love and ofself-control.
And so part of mercy ministryis this vulnerability, to say
like I need Christ, I need thegospel, and God's grace is not
just spiritual but it's tangible.
We get to live that out in ourcommunities together, right?
So for us the situationalawareness becomes really
relevant, because it's not atask anymore.
(29:23):
It's hey, we're just doing this, and then, neuropathically, our
brain starts to change that wayas well, like we're just geared
to do it, you know.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
That's one thing that I appreciate, and certainly
it's made my job easier, myministry easier, when I was the
only deacon is the relationshipwith people at church.
Well, I find out later.
Oh yeah, this needs being met,and well, by a friend, because
of friends.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
And that's awesome, right.
Then you don't feel like theburden is like completely on you
all the time.
You're like, oh, this didn'thappen, I'm a failure or
whatever.
You don't have to believe thosekind of lies anymore, because
you know people start doing whatthey're in.
You know courage is contagious.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
But it is easy to fall into.
That was one of the things Iwas considering.
Sharing when I'm being a solodeacon is doubting yourself you
know and it's easy to fall into,and yet it's something we have
to give over to the Lord and say, no, I can do this, and God's
(30:26):
called me to this diaconate, tothis church, these people.
This time, he is a reason forit, this is my calling, and you
just have to trust that all thatyou're doing, the person that
you are, is what's necessary forthe moment.
Obviously, you're relying onother people as well, but I'm
just saying that it's a carefulwalk with the Lord.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Yeah, yeah, certainly the Lord is the one who will
raise up the workers and theofficers in his church.
And yet it's also good for usto encourage.
The Bible talks about aspiringto office a biblical thing.
It's a good thing to desire toserve the body and I'm guessing,
daniel, in your church is acongregation that is a smaller
congregation and an agingcongregation, but you've been
(31:10):
serving as a solo deacon for adecade and I'm guessing that
there were those who you mighthave had a sense that could have
been good deacons, but theyjust maybe just felt like they
couldn't fit in their lives ormaybe had a lower view of
themselves, maybe thought youwere doing a great job.
Speaker 4 (31:26):
All of the above.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
All of the above Okay .
Speaker 4 (31:29):
Yeah, yeah.
Not many have actually wantedto be deacons.
No one's ever raised their handand said I want to be.
I like what you guys are doing.
I want to be a deacon, or Ilooked at what the Bible says
about being a deacon.
I think I fit that descriptionand I want to serve in that
capacity.
Just doesn't happen.
I don't get the sense that ourcongregation feels a need for
more deacons because they seethings that are getting done and
(31:49):
that's by God's grace and hedeserves all the glory for that.
They see things getting done,spiritual matters being
addressed, building mattersbeing addressed.
Then they feel that, oh, it's awell-oiled machine.
So we don't sense a need formore.
In theory, as you said, theBible says we should have more,
just for that mere fact alone.
But unfortunately we have nothad that happen.
But we have.
I said we have a solution forthat, which would be the
(32:12):
committees and the board oftrustees that we have as well.
So unless things start going inopposite direction, then they
might sense a need for it.
But as long as all thesematters are being addressed,
then they're never going tosense really the need for it.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
So, brothers, as we kind of bring this conversation
a little bit to a close, isthere specific advice that you
would give to a solo deacon?
Maybe you know one or twothings that you'd say, maybe
when not to go alone, you knowcaution them or encourage them
with how to avoid burnout, thattype of thing.
Speaker 4 (32:42):
Biblical model says basically there's been many
counselors.
You can find them right withinyour own congregation and
leverage them, take fulladvantage of them.
Spiritual matters, any matter,but you don't have to feel the
need to go along.
You have a lot of people therewith spiritual maturity and
wisdom to help you to performyour duties as a deacon to the
glory of God.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
That's a good word.
Thank you, Dan.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Jared thoughts.
Well, I think there's seasonsof life where you may feel
burnout being a solo deacon, andyou have to realize that you're
not alone, even if that's theway you feel in a particular
moment.
When to not go alone, Well, Ithink you know the example that
we gave before probably fitthere, but yeah, I'm not sure.
I guess the answer for me wouldbe never.
We're Presbyterians and we'reChristians first, and we're
(33:29):
marked by accountability andsubmission to one another, and
so I think there's a lot ofpeace when we submit to one
another in love.
And one of the things that waskind of on my heart was
Philippians 3, 13 through 15.
It says Brothers.
I do not consider that I havemade it my own, but one thing I
do forgetting what lies behindand straying forward to what
lies ahead, I press toward thegoal, the prize of the upward
(33:49):
call of God in Christ Jesus.
Let those of us who are maturethink this way, and if anything
you think otherwise, God willreveal that to you also.
There's times where it'sstrainingful to be a deacon,
spiritually and physically insome cases and emotionally in
some cases.
But the reality is that ouridentity is in Christ and that's
where we start, and so we havegood days and we have bad days,
(34:10):
right, but we always have toremember who we belong to and
who gave us this office, youknow, and we must decrease and
he must increase.
That's what we want people tosee.
We want people to see moreChrist than less of us.
That's good, Thank you.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
So obviously this has been covered.
But you need to trust in theLord and that's more than a
daily exercise in continuing to.
You know I talked about.
You know doubting yourself andall or being overwhelmed by the
needs.
It's basic.
You know what a solo deacon,his main need is, what all
(34:45):
believers' main needs is is toentrust his burdens to the Lord,
allow God to guide us andempower us, and then to realize
one deacon can't do everything.
And if it's great I've beenencouraged by Daniel's testimony
there with your church, withthe committees, it sounds like
you're doing so much way beyondthe work of having one deacon
(35:07):
because of your reliance on thebody.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
Well, that's great.
We didn't have time to talk toomuch about the Presbyterian
Diaconal Committee.
I'd encourage you lone deaconsout there to be aware of the
existence of your PresbyterianDiaconal Committees and the ways
that they can help you andaugment your work.
Maybe they can provide you witha loner deacon, somebody who
you can bounce ideas off of.
We do have the deacon check-inprogram that you can plug into
(35:34):
that you'll find out on ourwebsite and that would be a way
for you to develop arelationship with another deacon
who can be a part of thatnetwork of counselors who you
can involve in difficult thingsas well.
So those are just some otherideas on how to use that.
Brothers, good to be with you.
Thank you for joining me on theReformed Deacon Podcast.
So good to be with you, Daniel.
(35:55):
This is, I think, your firstappearance, but hopefully it
won't be your last.
We're looking forward to seeingyou again.
Jared and John are veterans nowon the Deacon Podcast, but look
forward to our time togetheragain in the future, and I'd
like to thank all you in theaudience for joining us today.
We hope this has been aninsightful discussion with
useful takeaways to encouragesolo deacons.
(36:16):
If you are a solo deacon, besure to use the resources on the
OPC Committee on DiagnosticMinistries website, opccdmorg.
God bless, Thanks for joiningus.
Go to our websitethereformedeaconorg.
There you will find all ourepisodes, program notes and
other helpful resources.
And please make plans to joinus again for another episode of
(36:38):
the Reformed Deacon Podcast you.
A deacon holds a lot of bandwidth internally and he
can only hold so much.
And so if you're a solo deacon,encourage other people to serve
, because you can't do it aloneforever.
It may be to do it for a while,but you can't do it forever.
And then you need to let yourpeople know so they can come
alongside you because really, adeacon, you know you're a
cheerleader for their ministry.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Welcome to the Reformed Deacon, a casual
conversation with topicsspecifically designed to help
local Reformed Deacons.
There are nearly a thousanddeacons in the OPC alone, so
let's take this opportunity tolearn from and encourage one
another.
We're so glad you could join us.
Let's jump into our nextepisode.
Hi, my name is David Nockla andI serve as the administrator
(00:41):
for the OPC Committee on DiakonMinistries.
On today's episode of theReformed Deacon, we're
addressing a topic that many ofour churches face.
It's the unique challenge ofserving as a solo deacon.
We hope you'll find thisepisode to offer encouragement
and practical insights fordeacons who serve in such
contexts.
Joining me today are threedeacons who have all had
(01:04):
experience serving as a lonedeacon.
John Stahl serves as a deaconat Emanuel OPC in Wilmington,
delaware.
He's a member of the Committeeon Diagnostic Ministries and he
is now serving with a fellowdeacon, but has experienced
being the only deacon for a time.
Also, we have Jared Grigg.
He serves as a deacon at AcaciaReformed OPC in Manassas,
(01:26):
virginia.
I think they recentlyparticularized Is that right?
Yeah, and he too has a fellowdeacon now, but for a good while
he was serving in that churchplant alone.
And then, finally, we have withus Dan Barnes.
He is a solo deacon currentlyat Trinity Reformed OPC in
Lanham, maryland, so we lookforward to hearing from Dan as
(01:48):
well.
Welcome to each of you,brothers.
Thanks for joining in thisimportant conversation.
Great to be here.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Thanks for having us Super.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
It's too bad, but a number of OP congregations find
themselves with diaconates ofone, a solo deacon.
Sometimes this is due topositive developments like
church planting, of course, asis the case with Jared at Acacia
.
Other times it just may be lackof training or awareness or,
probably most often, there'sjust not qualified men in the
(02:18):
congregation, or some who arequalified but they're just not
willing to consider serving inthis important office.
When we look back at Acts 6,when the office of deacon was
instituted, the apostlesinstructed the church to do what
?
To appoint seven men.
And when we look at that, weright off the bat see the
(02:40):
importance of plurality, theprinciple of plurality.
They said in Acts Therefore,brothers, pick out among you
seven men of good repute, fullof spirit and of wisdom, whom we
will appoint to this duty.
There's good reason for thismodel for plurality.
(03:01):
Plurality providesaccountability.
There is certainly wisdomshared through the counsel of
many.
It's also more hands to thepump, it's the division of labor
, and then, even when we'resitting with folks, a second set
of eyes and ears can be sohelpful.
And then, finally, there's justthe built-in support and
(03:22):
redundancy.
All good reasons for plurality.
If scripture models andcommends plurality of deacons,
then the question is how can weserve faithfully when that ideal
is not yet realized?
And we say yet realized becausewe do look forward to that time
when our lone deacons haveothers coming alongside them to
(03:44):
share the load.
So today we hope to explorethis question by listening to
the experiences and challengesfaced by these three men.
So, brothers, maybe we canstart with each of you telling
us a bit about your church,describe the type of region
you're in and about how manypeople would be in worship and
average age, just to give us asense of your congregations.
(04:06):
And, dan, maybe we'll startwith you, certainly.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
We're a diverse church.
We're located around 14 milesfrom the nation's capital and
some 23 miles from Annapolis,Maryland, so we're kind of like
sandwiched between the twonations' capital and the state
capital, and we currently haveabout 21 members.
The average age we're aging outabout 63 years of age, so we
range in age from members fromaround 21 through 76,.
(04:34):
I want to say, On a givenSunday we have around 25 people
attending the morning worshipservice.
Unfortunately, in the eveningit's a little less than that,
but typically it's about 25folks attending worship service.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Do you have a number of walk-in people coming in for
help from off the streets?
Speaker 4 (04:52):
We do have some people coming in.
What we have is we have athriving food pantry that we
created and we have monthly fooddrives, and so we're able to
invite people through that means, and sometimes they'll show up
for worship service.
We also have an English class,where we're also able to
minister to people around thearea and also invite them into
service, and that's how we havepeople come to service as well.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Okay, great, great, great.
Well, it'd be interesting tohear more from you, especially
given that setting.
John Stahl, why don't you giveus a sense of the church where
you serve?
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
So we're in a suburban area in North
Wilmington, delaware, so it's inthe metropolitan Philadelphia
area.
We have about 140 membersprobably 120, I think on average
coming to morning worship wehave 55 children in the
congregations.
Our average age is probably inthe low 40s, but we do have a
(05:49):
strong population that are nearretirement or retirement age
also, so we have a decentdistribution.
I would say our weakest innumbers is probably middle age,
40s and 50s.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
John Jared, how about your church Acacia?
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Yeah, so we just recently particularized we are
located in Manassas, virginia,which is on the other side of
Dan, on the Virginia side, andso there's a giant beltway.
They call it the CapitolBeltway.
It's 495.
And so we're on the other sideon 66 West, our average age.
It's kind of interestingbecause I hear you guys have
(06:28):
some older folks.
We have probably 30s to 50s.
That's kind of our prime range.
We do have one guy that justbecame a member.
He's 100 years old, which wasreally cool.
God's been really merciful andthat was cool to watch and be a
part of.
It's a pretty suburban area.
I would say Manassas and be apart of.
It's a pretty suburban area.
I would say Manassas, virginiais pretty sprawled out.
(06:48):
It's a little bit further westof DC, so we don't have a lot we
rent.
We were in a movie theater butnow we're in a community college
, so we don't have a building,which gives us some versatility
in certain ways but not inothers.
So that's us in a nutshell.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
So brothers, as you think back to those years when
you were serving as the onlydeacon and Dan, that's current
for you today what do you thinkwere some of the biggest
challenges that you faced as alone deacon?
You want to start, john.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Well, in the beginning was why is there only
one of me?
Well, in the beginning was whyis there only one of me?
Because I started with probablyseven other men, however many
years ago it was about 14, 16years ago but, analyzing it, it
was more just some moving away,retirement, passing away.
(07:39):
There wasn't a solid reason whywe had come down.
The session had tried toencourage some men to train over
the years and when the few thatwere willing to do that wound
up deciding against being aregular deacon.
So I would say the biggestthing was well, this is a lot
(08:00):
different than what I had signedup for, lot different than what
I had signed up for.
And I realized that how am Igoing to do everything that
we've done before?
And I came to realize, well, Ican't do everything that I
didn't before.
So as a deacon, we can't doeverything that we did before.
And so how I deal with it?
(08:21):
I lower my expectations alittle bit.
But one of the things I reallythink is important is for the
deacons to at least have someone-to-one private conversation
with each member.
So we have a feel, we have apulse of the congregation as
individuals and I realize, well,there's no way that's going to
(08:42):
happen, at least for the timebeing.
So I pretty much concentratedmore on trying to look for
obvious opportunities of membersthat might have needs.
Often it seemed to concentrateon a single man, but it wasn't
always that there were, you know, some women with needs.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Thank you, dan.
I guess in a sense I'm assumingthat you've always been the old
knee deacon, or was there atime when you had other deacons
there?
Speaker 4 (09:11):
In the history of the church.
We're 25 years plus old.
There's been two deacons.
One was promoted, elevated tobe an elder.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Oh, I like to say demoted, he was demoted, he was
demoted, so he's demoted.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
Amen, he's demoted, so he's demoted.
Amen Some 10 years ago he waselevated to be an elder and so
for the past 10 plus years I'vebeen the sole deacon.
We have a small pool of peoplein our church so we can't really
draw.
He's got 100-something peopleso he's able to have a big pool
of people that might be willingand fit the biblical model for
being a deacon.
(09:44):
Our congregation is notcomprised that way, so it's
really myself that's been thereand looks like it's going to
continue to be that way for sometime.
Pastor does try and encouragesome of the men in the church to
become deacons, but they don'tfeel that there's calling as it
is right now.
The one thing about being asmaller congregation affords me
the opportunity to have moreone-on-ones with people.
I know everybody by name.
(10:04):
I know their pet's names, allthose types of intimate details,
I know the financial status ofsome of them when they're in
need, et cetera, et cetera.
So that's made it a little biteasier for me and I'm also able
to just draw from the elder thatwas elevated.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
He serves as an informal deacon and the two of
us have regular recurringmeetings on matters pertaining
to the church.
So you've, in a sense, the wayyou've compensated is with this
elder serving, in a sense, asecond deacon.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
Yeah, and then we also have committees like the
building maintenance committee.
As the deacon, I'm the head ofthat.
That.
I have a lot of men that arepart of that actually utilize
their talents to help get thingsdone around the church.
And then we have my wife, who'slike a I guess we call it a
(10:52):
soul deaconess or whatever youwant to call her.
She's a big helpmate when itcomes to things like making sure
that people who have food needs, et cetera, et cetera, have
those needs met?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Wonderful Thank you, jared.
So I think you started as asolo deacon, or did you start a
different church?
Why don't you give us yourpersonal history as the deacon?
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Yeah, so I started as a deacon at Sterling OPC 12
years ago I think I lose trackof time but I actually had a
very, very good diaconaltraining with the local session
there and then the deacons there.
I really got the privilege toserve under some older men that
(11:26):
had their wits about them, andso for me my experience as a
deacon was built off the back ofthat.
I know not everybody gets toexperience that, but I'm so
grateful because when I got toAcacia I got to work off the
backs of those men and that wasa blessing for me, because when
I came in we had another deaconwho became an elder, and so then
(11:47):
I became the solo deacon for Ithink I want to say two years or
so, and so I kind of had amodel of okay, this is what
deaconing looks like.
I got to see that from oldermen through their whole lives.
You know one of the deaconsthat I served with that trained
me, one of my mentors, you knowhe passed a couple years ago and
(12:08):
so and he was a deacon up untilthe day he died, and so it was
cool.
I think one of the challengesfor me early on in a mission
work before particularizationwas this feeling of kind of
overwhelmed and then thetemptation to be guilt-driven in
a way.
Right, and that's not whatmercy ministry is.
And so that was difficult forme in the beginning, feeling
(12:29):
like, oh, I'm not doing enough,I'm not doing enough, I don't
have enough bandwidth to getthis done.
I'm not seeing these people,yada, yada, yada, and realizing
those conversations we have inour heads and they're not
actually what's reality.
You know, God calls us to servein the capacity, in the
intentionality that we can, butwe can't do everything.
And so getting people to comealongside, I think that's one of
the things you know.
Kind of honing in on the firstquestion, you know what is the
(12:51):
congregation might not think of.
It's the reality that a deaconholds a lot of bandwidth
internally and he can only holdso much.
And so if you're a solo deacon,encourage other people to serve
, because you can't do it aloneforever.
You may be able to do it for awhile, but you can't do it
forever.
And then you need to let yourpeople know so they can come
alongside you because really adeacon and you know you're a
(13:12):
cheerleader for their ministry.
And so if you're trying tochange the light bulbs and
you're trying to, you know,unplug the switches and try to
put out fire here and there,like you're just going to run
yourself into the ground.
And I've done that and Ilearned my lesson I need God's
people around me.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
That's really great.
I have to say that in ourchurch what makes the deacon's
job a little bit more mild isthat we have trustees that are
overseeing the caretaking of thechurch property itself, so at
least that burden is off.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
You have trustees.
Wow, I'm a trustee too.
I don't know that, the trusteeyeah.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
Well, I'm a trustee also, but I'm not the head
trustee.
When you're the only deacon,you're the head deacons.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Yeah, A board of trustees, which is in our book
of church order right, is agreat way of utilizing the gifts
of those who may never bequalified to serve as deacons
but can carry out a lot of thework, whether they're skilled at
construction or maintenance orfinances or what have you.
A lot of our churches haveutilized that.
So, brothers, in whatsituations do you feel that it's
(14:20):
essential to have a second setof eyes or ears?
Speaker 4 (14:24):
Particularly when it comes to spiritual matter.
A lot of times we're counselingfolks on financial matters and
they'll be thinking more alongtheir own financial lines than
God and giving to God.
So that becomes more of aspiritual matter and I usually
call the elder and pastor andaddress those when people are
refusing to submit to some ofthe guidance that we provided
them for getting their financialhouse in order.
(14:44):
So, particularly when it comesto spiritual matter, I think
that's when you definitely haveto call in heavy hitters.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Thank you Dan.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
I think it's actually easier, in a way, to deal with
outsiders because you don't knowthem.
When you're dealing withmembers, you're typically, and
the more you work with them andI shouldn't say work, because
we're relating to them asmembers They've become friends
of yours and so realizing, youknow, with friendship there's
(15:14):
emotions involved, and so thedecision making could very
easily be less subjective, andso you really need, even for
financial decisions, do I wantto give this person these funds?
Is it too much that I'm tryingto give them?
I'm trying to relieve them.
You know, as a friend, it mightnot be the best, so it's really
(15:36):
helpful to have at least oneother person to bounce that off
of.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
It's really good, john, I had not actually thought
about that situation that, yeah, I had not actually thought
about that situation that, yeah,when it's just you meeting with
them, it's you deciding asopposed to the diaconate
deciding something, and whenyou're by yourself, it's hard
for them and you to distinguishbetween the diaconate and you
personally, right, yeah?
Speaker 3 (16:01):
That's good, the more I've thought about it.
Well, that's why I'm a deacon,because I kind of feel like
everybody I minister to is afriend, because that's part of
being a deacon is buildingfriendships and relationships.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Jared, what's been your experience where you feel
that that second set of eyes orears is so essential?
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Well, I think these brothers have probably kind of
hit a lot of the big nails onthe head.
But I think another thing toois when you're dealing with
women, I think it's critical andthis comes from you, david, but
you know, a lot of times thedeacon qualification has to deal
with the wife as well, becausethere's going to be a lot of
situations where you need yourwife and you need to lean on her
, and so sometimes there'sconfidential things, and so
(16:53):
there's been many a times wherewe've had a situation and it's
like, okay, you know, we need awoman to kind of look at this,
and so I'll call my wife andshe's just been such a good
gauge of relating to her andkind of little deaconing her.
So any sort of situation thatrequires a little bit more
vulnerability with the oppositesex, I think it's a requirement
really that your wife be engaged, or another deacon's wife be
engaged, or an elder's wife, youknow somebody.
Well, I think you get the point.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Yeah, good, that's good.
How have you, other brothers,dealt with situations where,
yeah, you're ministering to asingle woman or that has needs
and you're a solo deacon?
How have you addressed that?
Speaker 4 (17:24):
Same matter what he just articulated.
Leverage your wife, leveragethe elder's wives, the pastor's
wife, and that would be critical.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Good.
Are there other situations thatcome to mind where any of you
feel that it's essential to havethat second set of eyes or ears
?
Speaker 1 (17:41):
You know one thing Christian men ought to have
their wits about them.
And so sometimes there's maybea spidey sense, right, like
something comes through, likemaybe it's a weird email or
maybe it's something with insideyour church with one of the
members, and it just doesn't sitright with your subconscious or
something like that.
Right, I know everybody's hadthat and you're like, wait a
(18:01):
minute, subconsciously like thissounds maybe right, maybe some,
maybe not.
And I think that's too where Ithink that's your conscience
saying like, hey, man, you needto discuss this because with the
multitude of counselors,there's wisdom, right, and so
you need to rely on the menaround you, and if you don't
have other deacons, then it'sgot to be your elders.
(18:23):
That was a real blessing for methrough this transitionary
period while I was the solodeacon.
It's really just.
I mean, the relationships thatI developed with my elders was
awesome.
I got to work way more closelywith them.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
You guys talked about the burden of the workload as
being a single deacon.
What did you learn as someworkarounds to addressing that?
You mentioned the trustees.
That's one avenue, but werethere other avenues of
workarounds just to spread theload a little bit?
Speaker 4 (18:55):
Yes, we have the committees that I mentioned.
We have committees that we'vestood up.
I just leveraged the talentsfrom the various committees to
get things done.
I have a building andmaintenance committee.
We have mercy ministrycommittees.
I rely heavily upon thosecommittees and the people that
comprise those committees to getthings done.
That's a workaround for me.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Yeah, can you describe a little bit more about
this mercy ministry committeethat you have?
What is the nature of what theydo and who would be on that
committee?
Does it involve men and women?
Speaker 4 (19:26):
It involves men and women.
We have the food pantry that we, as I indicate, we, minister to
the community on a monthlybasis.
The committee it's an informalcommittee, but it's a committee
nonetheless.
It's comprised of men and womenof the church and they actually
meet on a monthly basis andprovide food, the physical food,
but then, more importantly, asour pastor indicates more so,
(19:46):
the spiritual food.
And then we have the buildingmaintenance committee, which is
responsible for keeping theproperty in good order and
appearance.
Then we also have an Englishclass as well.
So that's my workaround.
My workaround has really beenjust to have these subcommittees
.
I don't have, as I said, Idon't have another deacon I can
rely on, but thankfully it'ssmall, but the people are
(20:08):
willing to participate in thelife of the church through these
various committees.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Good, good, john, you went from seven deacons to one
deacon.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
You know it was gradual.
Maybe it would have crossedseven years or whatever.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
But I mean, but talk about like when you were feeling
overloaded and you felt like Ican't do it all and you had to
reduce.
What you could do that was oneworkaround was to reduce, but
were there other things that youimplemented?
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Yeah, I would say there's, and still it's true
today.
But we do have a committeewhich I'll talk about.
It's called Be Kind One toAnother.
It was started many, many yearsago at her church and is still
is active today, but before it.
So, don't forget, I think thatcommittee has worked out.
(20:55):
You know, it depends on who's onthe committee, it depends what
year it is, what they'reactually doing, but it seems
like we often and part of that'sthe deacons, part of that's the
session two at times it seemslike we form teams of people to
meet individuals' needs, like weused to have a blind woman who
(21:16):
was a member and we realized youknow, my wife and I worked with
her on some things.
There is an elder who was adeacon in the past and he spent
time with her, his wife, therewas a bunch of different people
that helped in different ways,and so, as a deacon and this was
(21:37):
the time where I was the onlydeacon, I think twice I pulled
together all the people I knewthat were helping, at least the
main people that were helping,so that we could just get
together and be on the same pageas how we're trying to help her
.
What needs to be done.
There was another case where wewere concerned about some guys
(21:58):
in the church who just thefinancial situation, and so the
session appointed two of themSal, along with me as the deacon
to discuss that together andwork with the men.
So, yeah, there's work togetherwith other ordained leaders,
but also this committee, the bekind to one another, is not
(22:20):
ordained officers, although itis under the auspices of the
deacons and it's been comprisedmainly of wives of deacons and
wives of elders, but it's notlimited to that.
It can be men and women.
Typically, the women are drawnto what they are doing,
obviously, we'll have a deaconsit on the meetings occasionally
(22:43):
, since it's under our office.
It is to meet the physicalneeds of the membership but also
social needs and all Some ofthe things that they do and, as
I said, it kind of variesdepending on what year it is and
who's involved, what their owninterests are, but they've sent
out cards to people, significantbirthdays or thank yous for a
(23:05):
ministry that a person is doingin the church, making phone
calls and visits to the shut-ins.
Every year they honor highschool and college graduates
with a gift and just a publicannouncement of what their plans
are, and we have cake togetherduring fellowship time.
A lot of this really are thingsthat a deacon wouldn't
(23:27):
necessarily have time to do, butit helps to make the meals for
their family or births, that,whatever reasons.
(23:52):
In a sense the deacons are ableto offload that to the women
and it's better for them to dothat anyway, because it's
usually the women that arepreparing and cooking the meals.
But not necessarily Some peoplethat sign up could be single
men who can purchase a meal orwhatever.
In the past they had somebodythat has been responsible for
(24:13):
transportation.
Maybe an older person needstransportation to doctor's
appointment or whatever.
And then these are more specialthings that they've done is
they had a meal or gathering forsome of the elderly in our
church and had the teens do someentertainment or presentations
(24:34):
for them.
And again it's another thingthat is building unity within
the church.
We've also had some women inthe past that have been
interested in organizing specialvolunteer days at the mission
in downtown Wilmington.
This committee has had a widevariety of ministries that
they've chosen to do and oftenthey choose to kind of fund
(24:58):
their own thing.
But they know that and we oftenwe will try to make sure that
they're given some petty funds,some cash from the deacon's fund
, so they can carry out theirwork uninhibited.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Yeah, it does seem that these unordained committees
can be an effective way ofsharing the load.
And wow, I mean the volume ofwork that the women do in all
our congregations is oftentimesvery diaconal in nature and yet
seldom do we acknowledge it asdiaconal and yet very thankful
for the work that they do.
That is true.
Do you guys think that the restof the congregation senses the
(25:34):
need for more deacons when wehave these situations of lone
deacons?
I mean, is that a burn for them?
And if not, what are ways thatwe could help the congregation
grow in its desire to raise upmore deacons?
Speaker 3 (25:48):
I can't say for sure that they're aware.
There are some, you know.
Those that I've communicatedwith you know that, yeah, I
could use a few more deaconshere and spread the load.
So they are aware and they'repraying for more.
And we do have two more deaconsin training that have been
approved.
We just we need them elected ina couple weeks.
(26:09):
But I think, as you mentioned inthe beginning, it needs to be
emphasized more, perhaps fromthe pulpit or on diaconal
announcements, just remindingthe church of the biblical
mandate to have a multiplicityof deacons.
And I've never done this, butespecially since I already
(26:31):
confessed that.
You know, when I was a singledeacon I just gave up the whole
idea of trying to meet withevery person.
I am hoping, when we have fourdeacons that we'll be able to
assign the membership andhopefully be able to on a
regular basis make contact witheach member.
But I think just asking thecongregation if they've talked
(26:52):
with a deacon one-on-one overthe last year, if they haven't,
then we're probably not doingthe work that we should be doing
.
And I know in our church Iprobably I might be surprised,
but I would venture that atleast half would say no, I guess
they haven't.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
Yeah, I'll take a swing at that.
Is the congregation going to beaware all the time of a
particular need?
Maybe, maybe not.
I think some of that depends on, you know, if it's their need,
obviously they're going to knowif they're in that circle.
One of the things that I loveabout Acacia is that there's a
real sense of community together, and I think some of that
(27:32):
probably stemmed from Sterlingand it probably stemmed from the
pastor from Sterling who was amissionary in Uganda, and so he
brought a lot of love and a lotof transparency and a lot of
vulnerability and that kind ofcoursed in and that continuity
carried over to Acacia.
And so one of the things that Ilove about particularly the men
is when we come to church wehug each other and we tell each
(27:55):
other that we love each otherbecause we're family, and I
think that's critical, becausewhat that does is that becomes,
you know, like, oh, we don'tjust go to church together on
Sunday.
It becomes like OK, well, we'rehaving dinner on Tuesday night.
Like we open our doors right,like come on in, man, we're not
over here, at least these clean,nice people on Sunday morning,
and then our doors are shutduring the week, like we're in
(28:17):
each other's homes, we're havingdinner, and so what that does
is that creates more and moresituational awareness, right For
everybody.
And that doesn't mean like Idon't have dinner with everybody
, everybody doesn't have dinnerwith me, but it creates more of
that Like, okay, we're morecomfortable around each other,
and the more comfortable are youaround with people, the better
you get to know them, the easierit becomes, the more they're
(28:39):
going to tell you about theirlife, right, like in a large way
, like, if you think about I'vebeen married going on 11 years,
right, and it's like I know waymore about my wife now than I
did 10 years ago.
But that took time.
And so I think, as a deacon,investing and kind of putting
yourself in a vulnerablesituation, sometimes you've got
to do that and you've got totake that risk because, at the
end of the day, god hasn't givenyou a spirit of fear, but it's
(29:01):
power and of love and ofself-control.
And so part of mercy ministryis this vulnerability, to say
like I need Christ, I need thegospel, and God's grace is not
just spiritual but it's tangible.
We get to live that out in ourcommunities together, right?
So for us the situationalawareness becomes really
relevant, because it's not atask anymore.
(29:23):
It's hey, we're just doing this, and then, neuropathically, our
brain starts to change that wayas well, like we're just geared
to do it, you know.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
That's one thing that I appreciate, and certainly
it's made my job easier, myministry easier, when I was the
only deacon is the relationshipwith people at church.
Well, I find out later.
Oh yeah, this needs being met,and well, by a friend, because
of friends.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
And that's awesome, right.
Then you don't feel like theburden is like completely on you
all the time.
You're like, oh, this didn'thappen, I'm a failure or
whatever.
You don't have to believe thosekind of lies anymore, because
you know people start doing whatthey're in.
You know courage is contagious.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
But it is easy to fall into.
That was one of the things Iwas considering.
Sharing when I'm being a solodeacon is doubting yourself you
know and it's easy to fall into,and yet it's something we have
to give over to the Lord and say, no, I can do this, and God's
(30:26):
called me to this diaconate, tothis church, these people.
This time, he is a reason forit, this is my calling, and you
just have to trust that all thatyou're doing, the person that
you are, is what's necessary forthe moment.
Obviously, you're relying onother people as well, but I'm
just saying that it's a carefulwalk with the Lord.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Yeah, yeah, certainly the Lord is the one who will
raise up the workers and theofficers in his church.
And yet it's also good for usto encourage.
The Bible talks about aspiringto office a biblical thing.
It's a good thing to desire toserve the body and I'm guessing,
daniel, in your church is acongregation that is a smaller
congregation and an agingcongregation, but you've been
(31:10):
serving as a solo deacon for adecade and I'm guessing that
there were those who you mighthave had a sense that could have
been good deacons, but theyjust maybe just felt like they
couldn't fit in their lives ormaybe had a lower view of
themselves, maybe thought youwere doing a great job.
Speaker 4 (31:26):
All of the above.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
All of the above Okay .
Speaker 4 (31:29):
Yeah, yeah.
Not many have actually wantedto be deacons.
No one's ever raised their handand said I want to be.
I like what you guys are doing.
I want to be a deacon, or Ilooked at what the Bible says
about being a deacon.
I think I fit that descriptionand I want to serve in that
capacity.
Just doesn't happen.
I don't get the sense that ourcongregation feels a need for
more deacons because they seethings that are getting done and
(31:49):
that's by God's grace and hedeserves all the glory for that.
They see things getting done,spiritual matters being
addressed, building mattersbeing addressed.
Then they feel that, oh, it's awell-oiled machine.
So we don't sense a need formore.
In theory, as you said, theBible says we should have more,
just for that mere fact alone.
But unfortunately we have nothad that happen.
But we have.
I said we have a solution forthat, which would be the
(32:12):
committees and the board oftrustees that we have as well.
So unless things start going inopposite direction, then they
might sense a need for it.
But as long as all thesematters are being addressed,
then they're never going tosense really the need for it.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
So, brothers, as we kind of bring this conversation
a little bit to a close, isthere specific advice that you
would give to a solo deacon?
Maybe you know one or twothings that you'd say, maybe
when not to go alone, you knowcaution them or encourage them
with how to avoid burnout, thattype of thing.
Speaker 4 (32:42):
Biblical model says basically there's been many
counselors.
You can find them right withinyour own congregation and
leverage them, take fulladvantage of them.
Spiritual matters, any matter,but you don't have to feel the
need to go along.
You have a lot of people therewith spiritual maturity and
wisdom to help you to performyour duties as a deacon to the
glory of God.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
That's a good word.
Thank you, Dan.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Jared thoughts.
Well, I think there's seasonsof life where you may feel
burnout being a solo deacon, andyou have to realize that you're
not alone, even if that's theway you feel in a particular
moment.
When to not go alone, Well, Ithink you know the example that
we gave before probably fitthere, but yeah, I'm not sure.
I guess the answer for me wouldbe never.
We're Presbyterians and we'reChristians first, and we're
(33:29):
marked by accountability andsubmission to one another, and
so I think there's a lot ofpeace when we submit to one
another in love.
And one of the things that waskind of on my heart was
Philippians 3, 13 through 15.
It says Brothers.
I do not consider that I havemade it my own, but one thing I
do forgetting what lies behindand straying forward to what
lies ahead, I press toward thegoal, the prize of the upward
(33:49):
call of God in Christ Jesus.
Let those of us who are maturethink this way, and if anything
you think otherwise, God willreveal that to you also.
There's times where it'sstrainingful to be a deacon,
spiritually and physically insome cases and emotionally in
some cases.
But the reality is that ouridentity is in Christ and that's
where we start, and so we havegood days and we have bad days,
(34:10):
right, but we always have toremember who we belong to and
who gave us this office, youknow, and we must decrease and
he must increase.
That's what we want people tosee.
We want people to see moreChrist than less of us.
That's good, Thank you.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
So obviously this has been covered.
But you need to trust in theLord and that's more than a
daily exercise in continuing to.
You know I talked about.
You know doubting yourself andall or being overwhelmed by the
needs.
It's basic.
You know what a solo deacon,his main need is, what all
(34:45):
believers' main needs is is toentrust his burdens to the Lord,
allow God to guide us andempower us, and then to realize
one deacon can't do everything.
And if it's great I've beenencouraged by Daniel's testimony
there with your church, withthe committees, it sounds like
you're doing so much way beyondthe work of having one deacon
(35:07):
because of your reliance on thebody.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
Well, that's great.
We didn't have time to talk toomuch about the Presbyterian
Diaconal Committee.
I'd encourage you lone deaconsout there to be aware of the
existence of your PresbyterianDiaconal Committees and the ways
that they can help you andaugment your work.
Maybe they can provide you witha loner deacon, somebody who
you can bounce ideas off of.
We do have the deacon check-inprogram that you can plug into
(35:34):
that you'll find out on ourwebsite and that would be a way
for you to develop arelationship with another deacon
who can be a part of thatnetwork of counselors who you
can involve in difficult thingsas well.
So those are just some otherideas on how to use that.
Brothers, good to be with you.
Thank you for joining me on theReformed Deacon Podcast.
So good to be with you, Daniel.
(35:55):
This is, I think, your firstappearance, but hopefully it
won't be your last.
We're looking forward to seeingyou again.
Jared and John are veterans nowon the Deacon Podcast, but look
forward to our time togetheragain in the future, and I'd
like to thank all you in theaudience for joining us today.
We hope this has been aninsightful discussion with
useful takeaways to encouragesolo deacons.
(36:16):
If you are a solo deacon, besure to use the resources on the
OPC Committee on DiagnosticMinistries website, opccdmorg.
God bless, Thanks for joiningus.
Go to our websitethereformedeaconorg.
There you will find all ourepisodes, program notes and
other helpful resources.
And please make plans to joinus again for another episode of
(36:38):
the Reformed Deacon Podcast you.
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