What Keeps Love Attractive After 50

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_03 (00:03):
The refreshingly normal podcast.

SPEAKER_04 (00:23):
Welcome back, everybody.
Thank you for tuning in to theRefreshly Normal Podcast.
I am Kifla.

SPEAKER_01 (00:29):
I am Cree.

SPEAKER_04 (00:31):
And we are your hosts for the world's favorite
podcast.

SPEAKER_01 (00:36):
Say that.

SPEAKER_04 (00:37):
I said that.
All right.
So we're going to get into itbecause uh somebody has to get
on with her streak of running.

SPEAKER_02 (00:45):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (00:46):
So we don't want to keep her from that.
And then I have to get on withmy streak of taking a shower.
So uh Cree.

SPEAKER_01 (00:57):
Yes, sir.

SPEAKER_04 (00:57):
How was your week?

SPEAKER_01 (00:59):
Um let's see.
Uh my week was pretty good.
About the same old same.
Saturday.
We were able to go celebrate ourfriend Poe or Dewine.
Every time I say Dewine, I thinkI'm saying it like uh Whitley on

(01:21):
uh on uh Different World becauseit's Dewine.
Um so we went to celebrate him.
Very nice.
Some delicious, scrumptiousgoodies were there.
A beautiful spread.
His wife Megan did a great jobof it.

SPEAKER_04 (01:36):
She said she went crazy on the uh cheese.
Cheeses.
But it was good though.

SPEAKER_01 (01:40):
Lots of cheeses.
Um, so Saturday was nicecelebrating him.
Um, our Sundays are are prettymuch most of the time relax.
So that's what we did.
Well, somebody did not relax,y'all.
He was stressing out about hisgood work.

SPEAKER_04 (01:58):
That's all right.
We'll talk about that anothertime.

SPEAKER_01 (02:02):
So I tried to make everything else less stressful
for him on Sunday.

SPEAKER_04 (02:08):
He did a good job.
Thank you.
I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_01 (02:10):
You're welcome.
Um, other than that, busy weekdoing what I do um on my job,
trainings, helping um studentsand teachers, and all the
things.
Got to spend a little bit oftime in his school again.

(02:32):
So that was nice.
I got to meet a very specialstudent that I enjoyed spending
some time with.

SPEAKER_04 (02:39):
And she thinks she may have put her foot in her
mouth.

SPEAKER_01 (02:42):
I think I did, y'all.

SPEAKER_04 (02:43):
Okay, let's and guess who else probably tasted
the foot too?
Yeah.
Because we were like a couple.
No, it was me, because I I saidthe day.

SPEAKER_01 (02:52):
Yes.

SPEAKER_04 (02:53):
We'll talk about that later.
Well, we might forget you goahead and talk about it.

SPEAKER_01 (02:56):
Okay, so I'll just share this one a little bit, and
then that would be the end of myweek.
Oh, and I got my nails donetoday by Miss Kimmy.

SPEAKER_04 (03:04):
But anywho, um I'm glad they got pause because you
was okay.
I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 (03:14):
What?

SPEAKER_04 (03:15):
I didn't pay attention to notice if it was
cat's eye.

SPEAKER_01 (03:17):
No, it's not cat's eye.
I didn't get cat's eye thistime.
Um, so uh this week, rememberlast time Kifa said they had uh
Spirit Week for the teachers?
So I knew they had Spirit Week.
So I saw this teacher come upand sh that the outfit looked
like it was something forwhatever the day was titled

(03:40):
because y'all remember he didn'tknow.
Say what you said, did I say mypart?
He didn't remember all the days.
I said, What did I say?
So so what's what's oh I said,so what's going on with all
this?

SPEAKER_04 (03:51):
I said, oh, it's tacky day.

SPEAKER_01 (03:54):
Then he thought about it and was like, oh wait,
some days this is her dress.
This is her dress.
And then I was like, oh Lord.

SPEAKER_04 (04:03):
And Miss T, uh, a friend of our Miss T, she just
turned her head and she waslooking at, well, she wasn't
looking at us, but she waslaughing.

SPEAKER_01 (04:15):
She was looking at the floor.

SPEAKER_04 (04:16):
And then when when uh the teacher walked away, we
was like, oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 (04:22):
I sure hope.
I surely hope that that was notthat teacher's regular outfit.
I hope that she was.
But she did say she was.
She says, because the other day,which was pajama day, she was in
the grocery store.
She was wondering why peoplewere looking at her strange, and
she's like, Oh, I forgot I havemy pajamas.

SPEAKER_04 (04:41):
So uh She teaches the arts, so you know, they're
very eclectic.
So we thought about it likeinstantly.
We was like, oh shoot.
It's kind of like if a man says,Oh my god, you know, when is
when is the baby due?
And we're like, oh, or are youpregnant?
And then, you know, it's kind oflike one of those things.

SPEAKER_01 (04:57):
I'm not pregnant.

SPEAKER_04 (04:58):
And so it was it was funny.
But uh me and T laughed aboutthat.
Uh was that yesterday?
I think, yes, no, today.
Yeah.
We laughed about the.

SPEAKER_01 (05:06):
And Miss T is so funny.
So I'm walking down with her toleave.
Everybody she sits, she's like,hey, you know who this is.
This coach Aaron's wife.
She's beautiful, ain't she?
I'm like, oh God, Miss T.
I said, stop, stop.

SPEAKER_04 (05:21):
No, she said, she said, because she has a
beautiful spirit, uh, Miss Tdoes.
And she said, uh, she said,look, Keith, I know you're tired
of hearing this by now, but I'mgonna keep saying it.
Your wife is just so beautiful,her spirit and outside.
You she just so beautiful.
I said, hey, you know, that'swhy we keep getting blessings,
you know.

SPEAKER_01 (05:40):
Oh, she is so sweet.
I love Miss T.
But anyhow, as I was walkingout, somebody, some man, I don't
know who he was.

unknown (05:47):
You know, this coach hair wife, you know.

SPEAKER_01 (05:49):
Yeah, that's hey that's I said, I don't know.
Then she said, Well, this coachhair's wife, so I met, I can't
even remember because I'mterrible with names.
And uh she told him, she says,Ain't she beautiful?
He was like, like, I got to sayyes.
Because she's standing righthere.
What I'm gonna say.
Mm-mm.

(06:09):
So, anyways, but yeah, so thatwas my week of just busy going
in between schools, lots ofdriving, lots of checking on
students.
I had some behavior consults indifferent places to watch some
students and help give teacherssome behavior intervention
support.
So um, I did some of that too.

(06:30):
So, yeah, today was a busy week.
I'm looking forward to tomorrow,because tomorrow will be a
little bit lighter because it'sthe day before Thanksgiving.
That's good.
Nobody really has you coming outthe day before Thanksgiving.
Um, and so we're having a brunchwith my team, and so it'll be a
good light day into the break.

SPEAKER_04 (06:49):
That's good.
Yep.

SPEAKER_01 (06:50):
How about you?
How was your week?

SPEAKER_04 (06:52):
It was it was good.
Uh productive in the classroom,just making sure the kids had
everything they needed, uhtesting-wise and stuff, uh
preparing for the end of thecourse exams.
Um, you know, because once weget back from the break, we only
have two full weeks, and then wehave the two days, and then we
get out early, because that'sthe testing days, you know.

(07:14):
Um so it's it's weird, thissemester is almost over with.
It's crazy.
Um, but it was cool.
I had uh a little young Tindercome visit me at my job.
And my little young Tinder.
She came to visit me.
Uh and today I would I wasworking.

(07:36):
And you still came to visit me.

SPEAKER_01 (07:38):
I said hey.

SPEAKER_04 (07:39):
Yeah, so uh we uh today we had a science fair for
the class that I'm a co-teacherin, and it went very well.
The little it was at elementaryschool, and so those some of the
kids be running in the hallway,and I'd say hey, hey, hey.
It was just habit.
I'm just sitting in the hallwith equipment.
So when the kids from differentum stations come and they need
extra stuff from the classroom,I was in the hallway, and uh the

(08:03):
kids would be running in thehall and I would just stop them
and and they would look andokay.
Like they don't know me fromanybody, but they would stop
running in the hallways, andsome of the teachers were like,
Thank you, thank you.
And uh uh Tiffany, uh that'sMonroe, she was like, uh, she's
like, Dang, you good at this.
I said, Hey girl, I used toteach, I used to teach

(08:24):
elementary, you know?
And uh it was it was just sofunny because she would be dying
laughing when I would stop a kidor high five a kid or something
like that, just you know, justout of that normal people in
elementary, right?

SPEAKER_01 (08:38):
Well, people who like what they do.

SPEAKER_04 (08:40):
There you go.
That's what that's what I wastrying to say.

SPEAKER_01 (08:41):
Yes.

SPEAKER_04 (08:42):
People that like what they do, and so uh it was
just funny to see.
And and you know, they wouldthey were so lively, and um,
today was a a live day.
Like I just stood in one spot,and you know, it was just cool
to just be around that energy.

SPEAKER_01 (08:56):
Tell them what the kid said, the one little boy.

SPEAKER_04 (08:58):
The one little boy was like, you know, he said,
Hey, what are you doing here?
And I was like, I'm here for thescience fair.
So I have to stand in thehallway and give kids supplies
when they need it.
Oh, okay.
And then he left and he went toanother class and came back with
his class.
He said, You still here in thissame spot?
I said, Yep, I'm still here.
He said, And you ain't moved?
I said, Nope.

(09:19):
So then he left and came back.
He said, Wait a minute, why areyou still here?
He said, I don't want you to behere later on.
And so, and then another likeone of the girls, every time it
would be like more kids noticingthat I was still there.
And so then the last time he Ifelt something tap me.
And I look and I just said, Ohman.
He said, Yep, you still here.

(09:39):
You need to go home.
I said, You want me to leave?
He said, No, you just standingin the same spot.
I just want you to be able tomove.
I said, I'm fine.
I'm fine, buddy.
So I guarantee you, when if hecomes to Kennesaw, I bet you
he'll remember me.
Uh-huh.
Because he was just one of them,like he was, it was like he was
seeking me when he would see me.
He'd be like, I gotta get thechance to speak to him.

(10:02):
But that was real cool.
I appreciated that.
Um And that's it.
Physical therapy is going well,but my back is it's I mean, it's
going well because I don't havethe pain that I used to have,
but I still have pain.
So I I think I need to go aheadand make my appointment for pain
management.
And that's like the neurologistsand chiropractors and all those

(10:23):
people, so they can see ifthere's any maneuvering they
need to do.

SPEAKER_01 (10:27):
But uh I was thinking about you saying when
you told the kids could wentrunning and how they could slow
down.
I remember when I was at amiddle school and they were the
their teacher or the schoolcounselor's trying to give them
direction.
They were like up, they werelike in the stands, just running
their mouth, just going.
I said, Hey, I said, She'strying to get y'all's attention

(10:48):
so y'all know what to do.
They said, Who is you?
I said, Oh, no, they didn't.
And I was like, Um, you don'tneed to worry about who I am,
but what you do need to worryabout is closing your mouth.
I know, I know she I said, Oh,middle school.
I can't do this.
All y'all people that are uhmiddle school or teachers, yeah,

(11:12):
middle school is a specialplace.
It's a special place.

SPEAKER_04 (11:15):
I did it for eight years.
A special year eight years.

SPEAKER_01 (11:19):
Yeah, it is a special place, but yeah, I was
like, I listen.
Anyways.

SPEAKER_04 (11:25):
Middle school ain't for the week at all.

SPEAKER_01 (11:28):
It is not.

SPEAKER_04 (11:29):
It is not.
Let's get into it.
Um, this is the week uh beforethe week.
Before the week of Thanksgiving.

SPEAKER_01 (11:37):
Yes.

SPEAKER_04 (11:38):
So hopefully when we release this, we'll actually be
on the highway, right?
No.
No.
We won't be on the highway,we'll be on the highway uh late.

SPEAKER_01 (11:46):
A couple days after.

SPEAKER_04 (11:47):
Yeah.
And um, but anyway, we're goingto see Paw Paul, the grandma.
Um and then we'll film another,well, record another episode.
Maybe we I mean.

SPEAKER_01 (11:58):
We'll have to do that like Saturday or for
tomorrow.

SPEAKER_04 (12:01):
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
Oh, tomorrow, actually.
Yeah, we'd do one.
Um or Sunday.
I mean, we actually, I don'tknow.
I I would I'm gonna try to do auh a road trip episode where I I
have my the machine here, has amicrophone, and we're gonna

(12:22):
we'll probably just put itsomewhere and then where
everybody's in the car and talk.

SPEAKER_02 (12:28):
Oh, that'd be cool.

SPEAKER_04 (12:29):
And I mean, because we'll see what footage we get.
If the footage is not good, thenwe just won't do nothing with
it.
But if it is good, we'llprobably.
And then that way we can do somequestions in there.
Okay.
And it should be it, it would,it will pick up because it has a
360-degree microphone.

SPEAKER_00 (12:43):
Okay.

SPEAKER_04 (12:43):
So I think that'll be cool.
We'll try that.
Um, so let's get into a storytime.
What you had?
It was a story.
I mean, not a story time.
Well, yeah, the st the the ladydid something.

SPEAKER_01 (12:55):
Uh the retirement.
What was her name?

SPEAKER_04 (12:57):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (12:58):
Okay.
So we can actually kind of thinkabout retirement because you
heard some good news?

SPEAKER_04 (13:05):
No, I not good news, but that's what I did today.
What you do?
I uh did my TRS information.

SPEAKER_02 (13:12):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (13:12):
I logged in, set my account up.

SPEAKER_02 (13:14):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (13:15):
Um, and I had to like update like address for
you, my beneficiary.
I had to update the address forthe boys.
And I was just looking like,okay, because I got 11 years.
Because I'm not buying back theyears.
That's gonna be expensive.
Well, I ain't gonna say that.
No, no, no.
If God has something for me todo, but I have 11 years before I
can fully have 30 years of ofGeorgia.

SPEAKER_01 (13:39):
The retirement.

SPEAKER_04 (13:40):
And so I say, let me just punch in some numbers.
If I punched in the highestnumbers that I've made thus far,
because you know it's your fyour last three years.
Yeah, well, for it's they saidfirst two years.

SPEAKER_00 (13:52):
First two years it was?

SPEAKER_04 (13:53):
I mean not first two years, the year, highest two
years.

SPEAKER_00 (13:55):
Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_04 (13:56):
Yeah, so they asked for what's your first highest
and what's your second highest.
And I put the information in,and then it said if I retired at
62, um the monthly would be fourthousand and four hundred
dollars a month.
And I was like, oh, that ain'tbad.

(14:19):
But that's just, but of courseit's gonna be more because I got
11 more years.
That's depending on politics andall that stuff, we're probably
probably another ten thousanddollars on our pay.
Or fifteen thousand, who knows?
You know what I'm saying?
So I was like, okay, so then ifshe got that, and we still doing
a little extra, you know,therapy and stuff, we're gonna

(14:41):
be alright.

unknown (14:42):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (14:43):
We're gonna be alright.
I thought about that.
I said, okay then, I can fish.
Yeah.
I know.
Travel with my fishing pole.

SPEAKER_01 (14:57):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (14:58):
I would love to do that.

SPEAKER_01 (14:59):
Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04 (15:00):
But I'm sorry, but go ahead.
But I just when you saidretirement, that's look how we
we could we connected.

SPEAKER_01 (15:05):
I see you.

SPEAKER_04 (15:06):
Yeah, I see you too.

SPEAKER_01 (15:08):
So this little lady is 64 years old.
She guess what?
She's a retired high schoollanguage arts teacher.
All right.
And after spending her wholelife in Los Angeles, she decided
that it was time for a change.
So while many retirees considerdownsizing or moving to sunnier

(15:32):
areas, she says that she soughtout a life at sea.
So after a decade of searchingfor the right cruise ship, now
at 77, made um, she made herdream a reality when she
purchased a cabin and set sailin June this year on the Odyssey

(15:58):
of Villa Ve Residency Cruise.

SPEAKER_04 (16:04):
So residency cruise must mean you can't.
Permanent residence.

SPEAKER_01 (16:07):
It provides a permanent residence at sea um as
it circumnavigates the globe.

SPEAKER_02 (16:14):
Oh.

SPEAKER_01 (16:14):
And so the cruise which um it had oh, it said it
it had a belated start, but lastOctober, but then it has
started, and it goes where umthree and a half year long
adventures around the world.

SPEAKER_04 (16:32):
So she retired at 63, but didn't do this until 73.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.

SPEAKER_01 (16:37):
67 wait, 64.

SPEAKER_04 (16:39):
Oh 64.

SPEAKER_01 (16:40):
And 77 is when she started this.
And um stopping at 425 ports.
Oh my god.
In 1470.

SPEAKER_04 (16:49):
But that's three years, though.
Okay.

SPEAKER_01 (16:51):
Yeah.
425 ports in 147 countriesduring each voyage.
And so the ship permitspassengers to own, rent, or
lease a cabin for life throughits endless horizons program,
allow them to live among homecomforts while exploring the

(17:11):
world time again.
So the cabins, based on theirage, because I guess they're
trying to guess when you'regonna die.
Um the pat the the price startat$189,000.

SPEAKER_04 (17:26):
So basically a floating retirement home.

SPEAKER_01 (17:30):
Um, so for for passengers 75 to 79 years old,
it's$189,000.
But it gets cheaper the olderyou get.
And so your time.
Yeah, because your time isshorter.
Um, so um, she says she's alwaysbeen an ocean person.

(17:51):
She loves the environment.
And so this allows her to visitall the places.
The food is made, it's just likea regular cruise ship with your
food and all the things in it.
She says she don't have shedoesn't have to cook, she
doesn't have to clean.

SPEAKER_04 (18:08):
And do nothing.

SPEAKER_01 (18:09):
She just gets to live.

SPEAKER_04 (18:10):
Yeah, like a like a really like a floating retired
nursing home or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 (18:14):
Mm-hmm.
So, and the rooms are they looklarger than the normal.
And I think now these new cruiseships, they're making the rooms
bigger.
Because I've noticed like someof the the I guess it depends.
Some of the people that I followon social media when they go on
there, of course we know thereare bigger rooms, but a lot of

(18:34):
the rooms are a lot since thelast time I've been on a cruise,
um, which is a long time.

SPEAKER_04 (18:40):
Well, we don't know that.

SPEAKER_01 (18:41):
They seem bigger.

SPEAKER_04 (18:43):
We'd only been in two rooms.
What three rooms?
You've been in one.

SPEAKER_01 (18:47):
But it was a room.
We never know.

SPEAKER_04 (18:48):
They might just be, you know, showing all big rooms.

SPEAKER_01 (18:51):
So, anywho, thinking about that retirement, could you
um do like Sharon and travel theworld and live on a cruise ship?

SPEAKER_04 (19:02):
I don't think I can live on a cruise ship, but um I
can travel the world, of course.
But I just got so manyquestions, like, um, like where
all the dead bodies go?
Because I'm sure they're joking.
Yeah, they dying.

SPEAKER_00 (19:18):
That is a good question.

SPEAKER_04 (19:20):
Are they cremating them and I'm sure some people
got cremate services?
They say because they love thewater that much, they probably
say, sprinkle my remainsoverboard over the sea.

SPEAKER_01 (19:30):
So you think it's a cremation thing on the ship?

SPEAKER_04 (19:33):
I guarantee you.
I guarantee you.
You have lost your marbles.
I guarantee you.
So how else are they gettingback?

SPEAKER_01 (19:39):
They probably when they get.

SPEAKER_04 (19:40):
Or they wait till they port, then they book it
with somebody to say, hey,what's the local cremate?

SPEAKER_01 (19:45):
Whatever your whatever your maybe you have to
do a thing that says, if thathappens, would you like your
body shipped back, whole body?

SPEAKER_04 (19:54):
Would you like to cremate it at the next port?
At the next port.
And then we pick it up.

SPEAKER_01 (20:01):
Don't be spread my ashes.
Send me back to my family.

SPEAKER_04 (20:04):
But if that's their that's what they want.

SPEAKER_01 (20:07):
But uh, you know what I think about too?
Okay, so I'm assuming that thislady, Sharon, she doesn't have
any children.

SPEAKER_04 (20:15):
Right.
Well, she's 60-something.

SPEAKER_01 (20:16):
They they but even still, if my children were
grown, I don't want to be out atsea for three three and a half
years.

SPEAKER_04 (20:25):
So you're you're a connected family.
Some people are not connected,like they say, oh, I they may
see their relatives only on theholiday.

SPEAKER_01 (20:35):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (20:36):
Or they may see them every so often.

SPEAKER_01 (20:39):
But I think you would see your kids more often
than that.

SPEAKER_04 (20:42):
It depends.
Not everybody has, I'm tellingyou, when you listen to people,
you realize, think about howmany people you know, like
really that don't have the thethe plans of holiday that you
have.
Like they'll say, You gonna seeoh no, I don't spend time with
my family.
Oh no, I don't, you know.

(21:03):
And there's a lot of people thatdon't have kids to now the days.

SPEAKER_01 (21:07):
That is true.
So I I think to me, if you'resomebody who maybe you don't
have kids.

SPEAKER_04 (21:11):
And she didn't talk about her husband.

SPEAKER_01 (21:13):
Mm-mm.
So that might be an ideal place.
I mean, she's all around people.

SPEAKER_04 (21:17):
Yeah.
Um, maybe she find her littleThey always in them old homes.

SPEAKER_01 (21:23):
Maybe she'll find her little boo at the next port.

SPEAKER_04 (21:26):
Not at the port.
You know how they say SCDs isrampant in the older In the
nursing homes.
Yeah, in the nursing homes.
So that's that ship.
You know, somebody up on there.
He hopes the Mac.
He is the Mac.
Hopefully they got uh Captain D,that's what they call it.

SPEAKER_01 (21:42):
Hopefully they got a um Oh, they got blue pills.
What is it called?
Infirmatory.

SPEAKER_04 (21:47):
The infirmary.

SPEAKER_01 (21:48):
Infirmary.
Well, they got an infirmary onthe side.
You got a lot of blue pillsthere too.
They might.
So people have a good time.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, Harold.
Yeah.
I and then I just don't want tobe on a ship all the time.
Nah.
Like you're seeing the samething every day.
But I guess that's a nursinghome.

(22:10):
Yeah, I was gonna say.
Well, really, it's like a nurseat home.
Is that what you said already?

SPEAKER_04 (22:15):
Yes, yeah, I'll tell her.

SPEAKER_01 (22:17):
It's like a nur a floating nurse at home.
Is that what he's saying?

SPEAKER_04 (22:21):
But hey, what about the uh what?
I'm gonna be I'm gonna be verystereotypical.

SPEAKER_01 (22:28):
Who went work on there?
You you stuck.
Maybe they trade out people.
Some people maybe they trade outthrough the ports.

SPEAKER_04 (22:34):
But you know, like that's how cruise ships are.

SPEAKER_01 (22:36):
Like, but I think they trade out workers though.
Like as well as shorter.

SPEAKER_04 (22:42):
You go and come back.

SPEAKER_01 (22:44):
But um and then I never heard of no three,
three-year cruise.

SPEAKER_04 (22:47):
But if that's your think about it, that's the Navy.
It's that is that's themilitary.

SPEAKER_01 (22:53):
That's their job.
Whoa, that's their job.

SPEAKER_04 (22:54):
That's what I'm saying.
That's their job.
And they get a chance to comehome every now and then.
So I'm sure you can fly out froma certain port.
Right.
You could fly from a certainport to go home and then come
back.

SPEAKER_01 (23:04):
That's an interesting life.

SPEAKER_04 (23:06):
Yeah.
But what where would a lot ofthe hood people uh nursing home
be?
They'll be on carnival, one.
They'd be on carnival.
They'll be on carnival nursery.

SPEAKER_01 (23:15):
Listen, people would why people would uh be dead
because they will fight till thedeath.

SPEAKER_04 (23:24):
Yes.

SPEAKER_01 (23:25):
Can you imagine being stuck on a carnival cruise
ship?

SPEAKER_04 (23:27):
Because they'd be on there for a week.
Or not even a week, but threedays.
And they all them fights.

SPEAKER_01 (23:33):
Three days.
You put them people on there forthree years.

SPEAKER_04 (23:38):
Dead.

SPEAKER_01 (23:39):
It will be like what's that thing called?

SPEAKER_04 (23:42):
The purge or whatever.
Something like that would be.

SPEAKER_01 (23:46):
It would be that would be a good movie.

SPEAKER_04 (23:49):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (23:49):
Would that be a good movie?

SPEAKER_04 (23:50):
It would.

SPEAKER_01 (23:51):
All of us said it'd be like now the carnival cruise
and they stuck with each otherfor three years.

SPEAKER_04 (23:55):
We can sell them shirts that key money with his
quote on there.

SPEAKER_00 (23:59):
What does it say?

SPEAKER_04 (23:59):
Key Money's famous quote from uh Hilton Head.

SPEAKER_00 (24:03):
Get me off of this thing.

SPEAKER_01 (24:06):
Get me over this thing.

SPEAKER_04 (24:10):
I couldn't do it.

SPEAKER_01 (24:12):
No, I couldn't do it.
I I like to a little bit offreedom.
I I would feel too um morerestricted.
Restricted.
Yeah, and feeling like, likereally, like you locked, locked
up.
I mean, I guess at any point youcan port and say, I'm going
somewhere else.
I mean, and then meet them atthe next port.
Yeah, because it is your house.

(24:32):
Because you'll know, yeah, it isyour house.
So you'll know when they comeinto each port.
So you could say, Oh, I'd hadenough of this.

SPEAKER_04 (24:40):
Let me go and go visit your family and then come
back.
Yeah, meet them at another port.
Oh, in uh wherever Costa Rica.
Okay, I'll say that.

SPEAKER_01 (24:48):
That's how I that's how I would do it.
I couldn't be on that thing thewhole time.
I probably would hit a port andafter so long be like, I'm gonna
go do this, and come back andmeet at another port or
something like that.

SPEAKER_04 (25:00):
If you had the money, you could just buy one of
those pla you know things onthere, reserve it for yourself.

SPEAKER_01 (25:07):
And let other people use it.

SPEAKER_04 (25:09):
And then you'd be, you know, boom, boom.
Like a time shit.
Yeah, like a time shirt.
That's how I would use it.
But no, I mean No, I couldn't doit, man.
I gotta, I gotta have uh moresay-so in where, not necessarily
where I go, but how I get there.

SPEAKER_01 (25:25):
Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_04 (25:27):
You know.

SPEAKER_01 (25:27):
And and then I'm just thinking, after so long,
how different can the cruisefood be?

SPEAKER_04 (25:35):
No.

SPEAKER_01 (25:36):
You know what I mean?
After so long, it's it's gonnabe like, Whew, that was enough
of this.
You know?

SPEAKER_04 (25:42):
Now if you gotta your OBC, and then you ain't
gonna have no stove with allthem old people because it's not
a good thing.
No, they say you can't.

SPEAKER_00 (25:47):
No, she says food's cooked for you.

SPEAKER_04 (25:48):
I know, but I'm just saying, they couldn't have like
no actual stoves, a littleapartments, because somebody
leave it open, leave it leave iton, and the whole uh ship go
down in flames.
Well, it won't go down in theflames because it'll be wet.
So the flames won't go down.
It'll go down because of flames.

(26:09):
See how I did that there?

SPEAKER_01 (26:10):
I say.

SPEAKER_04 (26:11):
All right.
So let's you share the emailwith us, with me.
Oh, I got it pulled up here.
And um the title is, ladies andgentlemen, sorry, but these 18
habits make husbands loseattraction after 50.

(26:32):
So when I first read it, I waslike, oh, what is it that I
will, you know, won't beattractive?
I mean attractive after 50.
That's what I thought about.

SPEAKER_01 (26:42):
Oh, you thought about men wouldn't be
attractive.

SPEAKER_04 (26:43):
Yeah, like what is it about men that's that women
find that too?
Unattractive.
But I thought it was like, youknow, the presence, you know,
bald head, you know, gray hair.
You know, a lot of people dofeel that way.
And then I was like, I know shedidn't.
And then I went on hand, youknow, started reading, and I was

(27:03):
like, oh.
Yeah.
So we're only gonna, there werewhat we say, 18.

SPEAKER_01 (27:07):
18 of them.
So go through them and see whichone we're gonna do.
Let's go, we'll start at theinterest.

SPEAKER_04 (27:12):
Or do you wanna?
I was gonna just do the top 10.
Oh, let's do it.
Start from 10 and go down.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (27:19):
Okay.

SPEAKER_04 (27:19):
All right, so top 10.
Number 10.

SPEAKER_01 (27:22):
What?

SPEAKER_04 (27:23):
Dismissing his interests.

SPEAKER_01 (27:27):
Like, I don't want to watch football.

SPEAKER_04 (27:31):
Um, things like that, yeah, stuff like that.
But that that that is way before50.

SPEAKER_01 (27:37):
Yeah, I did, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (27:38):
Yeah, that is way before 50.
Never been interested.
Yeah, but um, I mean, it ain'teven football.
It'd just be like if you tellsomebody kind of like your
dreams and stuff and they shootit down.
Um, like I was saying, you know,before I had a uh a person that
I dated in my past, uh, becauseyou know the one thing I like to
do all the time is I'll saysomething like, If you got a

(27:59):
million dollars, right now yougotta spend it.
Five minutes, what you gonna do?
And I would do that all thetime.
You you got uh three places youcan live.
What's your top three?
Right now, you gotta think aboutit.
You gotta think about it then,you know, all that kind of stuff
within 10 seconds.
And they were like, We ain't gota million dollars, so be quiet.
I was like, Oh.
So that kind of turned me off onthat individual at that time.

(28:20):
But they're dismissing interestwould definitely um And you know
what I find?

SPEAKER_01 (28:26):
People really do like that question.
When I do an activity with someof the students I train, one of
the questions that they do, likea partner talking with, is you
just won the mega millionbillion dollar jackpot.
What are the first three thingsyou're buying?
And they're like, oh, first I'mbuying.

(28:47):
And then, and oh, this one boy,he said, I'm gonna buy a car.
And I said, What kind of car areyou gonna buy?
He said, Oh, nothing too much.
Just a Bugatti.
I said, Oh, just a Bugatti.
So, yeah, they always enjoyanswering that question.
It it automatically brings joy.

SPEAKER_04 (29:08):
Yeah, it does.
Yeah, it does.
All right, number nine,neglecting, neglecting physical
affection outside the bedroom.

SPEAKER_01 (29:20):
So at that point, people probably just get tired
of each other.

SPEAKER_04 (29:24):
No, I don't think I mean some people do.

SPEAKER_01 (29:27):
I mean, and I guess what would make it hard is if
they used to be, and then theyaren't.

SPEAKER_02 (29:32):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (29:33):
So, because you can't expect it if it never was
really a thing.
Because some people just aren'ttouchy-feeling kind of people.
But if they were, and then allof a sudden they don't.
What would make what makessomebody not if you if they were
touchy feeling, why do you thinkafter 50 or um that would stop
for somebody?

(29:53):
Oh hormones.

SPEAKER_04 (29:54):
Yeah, hormones.
Because it could be vice versa,like when when you know how
women say, Oh my god, when Iread My forties or my fifties,
my hormones went in overdrive.
And then it's it flips.
Me and our hormones drasticallystart to decrease after the age
of four, right?
When they hit 40 to 45, there'sa huge d decrease in

(30:14):
testosterone levels.
You know, and so uh, you know,think about it when they get old
old, especially if they're notexercising to do things to help
regenerate the testosteronelevels, you know, they may have
a certain feel about them, youknow.

SPEAKER_01 (30:27):
I'm thinking, um if you know that, and I know there
are certain vitamins or drugs orthings that people can do, but
then I also feel like I knowlike a desire, people like to
naturally have the desire.
But I feel like you can alsokind of not force yourself but

(30:51):
be mindful of when have I beentouching my partner?
Have I kind of hugged on them orrubbed on them?
So I think even as you we knowthat that's gonna happen in an
old, you know, as you get older,like making that a practice of
when the last time I touched himor rubbed something, or and vice

(31:13):
versa, for the one uh man tosay, when the last time I hugged
her, I mean um because I thinkpeople, as people say, as you
get older, you just get is itcomplacent?

SPEAKER_04 (31:24):
Complacent, right?

SPEAKER_01 (31:25):
They get complacent and you don't do all those
things.
And so I would say just remindlike when the last time I did
something.

SPEAKER_04 (31:34):
I know I can speak for myself, and then like
recently, you know, it's just mymind has been just so um
cluttered with just you know,almost like as I get I was just
worrying about is everythinggonna be alright?
Is everything taken care offinancially, physically, uh, you

(31:57):
know, the boys, you, you know,it's just it's so much, and it's
stuff that I didn't worry aboutbefore, but was still going on,
and I'm like, why am I worryingabout it now?

SPEAKER_01 (32:08):
You know, but it's sounds like like I wonder if
there are a male version ofperimetopause.

SPEAKER_04 (32:14):
I'm sure it is.

SPEAKER_01 (32:15):
Because that's what I mean, it sounds similar to
that.

SPEAKER_04 (32:18):
Yeah, but um it's uh I like say I definitely know,
you know, and I do know my mytestosterone levels are.
Remember, I did all my testingand stuff.
They're they're in the norm, butthey're the low norm.
And you know, that they werelike, well, you could do
something for testosteronetherapy, but then you gotta be

(32:39):
careful of your kidneys and allthat other kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_01 (32:41):
So side effects.

SPEAKER_04 (32:43):
Yeah.
Um, but you know, all right.
This number eight, using sarcasmtoo often.

SPEAKER_01 (32:50):
I like sarcasm.

SPEAKER_04 (32:52):
Um yeah, sarcasm is good.
I think it's healthy, yeah.
We do it.

SPEAKER_01 (32:56):
But uh we know um it's teasing.

SPEAKER_04 (33:00):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (33:01):
Um so if that's a banter for us.

SPEAKER_04 (33:04):
Polite with it.
Like we we won't say um thingsthat we know.
Oh, sorry.
That's a scam likely.
We won't um that's what they'redoing now.
They do they do back to backnow.
But I've I've been hitting themwith spam.

(33:26):
But uh, like we we will we willjoke on each other, but there's
certain jokes we won't say.
You know, like there are jokeswe may say to somebody else that
we won't say to each otherbecause we know this may be a
sensitive subject.
Yeah.
You know, so we're being mindfulof our sarcasm.

SPEAKER_01 (33:44):
And then even with that, um What's my ringer?

SPEAKER_04 (33:49):
I turn it off.

SPEAKER_01 (33:50):
And even if there's something that we do say that
does kind of offend the otherperson, we'll both I don't know,
I'll say, Well, why you saythat?
I mean, I don't have a propsetter, so you'll know if it is
um something that is a littlesensitive.
Yeah, I'm not just gonna sit onit.

(34:11):
I'm gonna immediately say, Idon't like that.

SPEAKER_04 (34:14):
Yeah.
They don't say, they say usesarcasm too often, but they
don't say mimicking.
So if y'all been watching andlistening, y'all know that I
mimic stuff.

SPEAKER_01 (34:25):
Now that is definitely And y'all, it is a
habit now.
You losing the And so now I'mtrying to watch it because
before I know it, I done alreadymimicked him.
So I'm trying to I'm trying tobe mindful of it, but it just
comes out.

SPEAKER_04 (34:44):
Number seven, always putting others first.

SPEAKER_01 (34:48):
Oh, we done learned our lesson on that.
Yeah, we've already been downthat road.

SPEAKER_04 (34:53):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (34:54):
And we have taken a detour.
Yeah.
So yeah, we definitely, yeah, wedon't do that because it just
ends up somebody being upset andtaking advantage of.
Yeah, we don't do that.

SPEAKER_04 (35:05):
So I um I think some other things on the list should
have been higher than this.

SPEAKER_01 (35:10):
You think so?
Yeah.
Give me an example.
What what do you think?
Let's say Well, that's not butthat's not in a uh order of I
know it's not, but but you justchose to do the first ten.
Yeah, first ten.
Not the top ten, the first ten.

SPEAKER_04 (35:23):
Like uh what do you think?
Uh let's see.
Letting technology take overevenings.

unknown (35:34):
Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_04 (35:36):
You know.

SPEAKER_01 (35:37):
Yeah.
You gotta work on that.

SPEAKER_04 (35:40):
I am.
It's it's at the uh end of theday.
You know, yeah, in the bedtime.

SPEAKER_01 (35:48):
Yeah, he's got to work on that.
Me, myself.
I'm not even gonna say that'snot a problem for me.

SPEAKER_04 (35:56):
All right.
Okay, so we'll move right along.
All right, the next one isnumber six.
Forgetting to tease each other.
That's similar to the teaching.

SPEAKER_01 (36:06):
Oh, we yeah, that's the same.
Well, then it's no, no.
It said two tease, but don'tsarcast.

SPEAKER_04 (36:12):
Oh, forgetting.
Okay, you're right, right,right.
I mean, forgetting to, yeah, wedo we do tease each other.

SPEAKER_01 (36:16):
Teasing can feel like sarcasm.
No, no, no, teasing.
Teasing more goofy, giggly,laughing, teasing.

SPEAKER_04 (36:25):
Like we tease each other all the time about uh
sarcasm can be mean.
Yeah, sarcasm.

SPEAKER_01 (36:30):
Our sarcasm isn't mean.
Yeah, our sarcasm goes towardsteasing.

SPEAKER_04 (36:36):
Yes.

SPEAKER_01 (36:37):
But sarcasm can't be mean.
There are some mean, sarcasticpeople out there.

SPEAKER_04 (36:41):
It is some mean couples.
Yeah, I've seen I've heard someand I'd be like.

SPEAKER_01 (36:45):
I'll be thinking.

SPEAKER_04 (36:46):
We've heard it.

SPEAKER_01 (36:47):
He found the right one.
Because let me tell you whatthis sister would be saying.
Yes, I I have heard it and I waslike, we've heard it.
And we were like, mm-hmm, mm-mm.
Couldn't be mean.

SPEAKER_04 (36:57):
Change the subject, guys.

SPEAKER_01 (36:59):
Change and let's move on.

SPEAKER_04 (37:00):
Um, number five, refusing to try new things.

SPEAKER_01 (37:03):
Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (37:05):
Yeah, I I would hate to be with somebody that doesn't
try new things.

SPEAKER_01 (37:08):
That seems like something somebody would have
always been.

SPEAKER_04 (37:13):
Man, people change.
That's the thing.

SPEAKER_01 (37:15):
That is true.
People change.

SPEAKER_04 (37:17):
That is so crazy because it's just like, you
know, we hear people, well, Imean, we don't know that we
can't live in their life, butit's just people change.
You know, it's just how it is.

SPEAKER_01 (37:29):
Um But that's but that is the long-term
relationship.
It is so how do you deal withthat when somebody decides they
won't don't want to try newthings?

SPEAKER_04 (37:40):
But that's the that's that's why you see people
talking about they were marriedfor 30 years and got a divorce.

SPEAKER_00 (37:45):
That's true.

SPEAKER_04 (37:46):
You know, um some things they can work through and
some things they say, I'm not.
I'm trying to live the rest ofmy years on this side of the
coin as peaceful as possible.

SPEAKER_01 (37:57):
Yeah.
Possible.
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (37:59):
So I mean it's sad, but yeah, be people change.
That's like um, and you know, Iyou know, what's the saying when
someone shows you who they arethe first time, believe them.

SPEAKER_01 (38:10):
Yeah, but believe it, sister.

SPEAKER_04 (38:12):
A lot of times they ain't showing you everything.

SPEAKER_01 (38:14):
No, but then also people change.
And different life circumstancesare things that change.
So cause and effect.
Like for instance, what I'veseen for some people, if they
travel for work and then theyretire, then all of a sudden
they don't like to travelbecause they did that, but then

(38:35):
their spouse didn't travel.
And so, you know, so certainlittle things as you get older,
they do shift and change.
But I think as a as a partner orspouse, um, and it's not all
about you.
You have another person that isa part of you, and so sometimes
we have to compromise and we gotto do things that um we may not

(39:01):
necessarily want to do, but wedo because we care about the
other person having somehappiness in their life.

SPEAKER_04 (39:08):
That's the hardest thing for for people to do is
compromise.
Because compromising looksdifferent to each person.

SPEAKER_01 (39:15):
That's true.
You know, that that would be agood uh uh discussion.
What does compromise look liketo you?
What does compromise feel like?

SPEAKER_04 (39:26):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (39:26):
What does it sound you?

SPEAKER_04 (39:28):
You're the one with MFT certification.

SPEAKER_01 (39:31):
Well, that is good.
I mean, I think that's animportant thing.
Like, people need to figure thatpart out.
And then that way you'll belike, oh, we don't see this the
same.
And then in some way, you canmeet in the middle of that
compromise.

SPEAKER_04 (39:44):
Uh but I think in order to get a true reading of
that, you would have to ask themaway from each other.

SPEAKER_01 (39:50):
Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (39:51):
The same scenario.

SPEAKER_00 (39:52):
Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04 (39:52):
And then you come back and see if those if that
data Yeah.
If it's like this perfect link,or if it's like, oh my God, it's
all y'all are all the way off.

SPEAKER_01 (40:04):
And then how do we bring it together?
If possible.

SPEAKER_04 (40:10):
I mean, you can because you can say, you know,
you you try to talk about thatscenario and say, Why do you
feel this way?
Why do you feel this way?
Say, oh, okay, now I see whereyou're coming from.
But if they're so stu you knowboth stuck on what they thought
of what they said, it's gonna bedifficult.
But uh compromise is very, verydifficult.

(40:31):
Point blank, period.

SPEAKER_00 (40:32):
It is.

SPEAKER_04 (40:34):
Yeah.
Number four, criticizing morethan complimenting.
This is definitely something youyeah, that is unattractive.
Criticizing more thancomplimenting.
And I think also like even ifyou do it to yourself, like your
your spouse or your partner, buteven yourself.

SPEAKER_02 (40:57):
Like negative self-talk?

SPEAKER_04 (40:58):
Yeah, I I that's that kills me.
Because sometimes it's peoplefishing for compliments.

SPEAKER_01 (41:06):
Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (41:07):
You know, those people.
And so, you know, once you knowthat's what they're doing, I
don't say nothing.
Oh, I don't either.
I mean good, like, and then theybe like you kind of slowly see
them fade out of the roombecause it's like, oh, I guess
ain't nobody giving me thatattention I'm looking for.
Like, girl, we done I alreadytold you.

(41:28):
Chill out.
Um, forgetting the importance ofphysical closeness.

SPEAKER_01 (41:36):
Mmm.

SPEAKER_04 (41:37):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (41:38):
That kind of goes with the other one.

SPEAKER_04 (41:41):
Um But the other one was more in was it public?

SPEAKER_01 (41:44):
What did you say touching?

SPEAKER_04 (41:46):
It was neglecting physical affection, yeah,
outside of the bedroom, right?

SPEAKER_01 (41:51):
Oh, okay.
And that one is in the bedroom,I'm assuming.

SPEAKER_04 (41:54):
And this one, no, I mean it doesn't say it's just um
forgetting the the importance ofphysical closeness.
This could be sitting near eachother.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (42:05):
That was true because I don't know how many
older people I've seen.
You go to their house and theyeach got their own little
recline.
This is or and how many people,the new thing is husbands and
wives have their own bedrooms.
No, I ain't doing that.
Like, so that to me creates adivide.
But they say they come togetherfor um when they want want to be

(42:26):
intimate.

SPEAKER_02 (42:27):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (42:27):
Um, but some of them say it's because together they
can't get a good night's rest.
Um, because certain things theydo wake them up.
That part I do understandbecause when somebody gets up
out the bed, um it does, it doeswake you up.
Not now, depending on how goodI'm sleeping.

SPEAKER_04 (42:47):
Or depending on how good your mattress is.

SPEAKER_01 (42:50):
Well, I'd like to ask a variety of people because
somebody thinks our mattress isjust horrible.

SPEAKER_04 (42:56):
How long we had that mattress?
We better not even tell.
They might they might disown usas their favorite couple.

SPEAKER_01 (43:03):
Y'all don't worry about this.
Do not worry about this.
But getting out of the bed.
When I get out of the bed, doyou do am I like sometimes,
sometimes no?

SPEAKER_04 (43:13):
But I mean, I think I think this is what it is now.
I'm comfortable and I recognizethe motion, which doesn't
frighten me.
You understand what I'm saying?
But like I'm like if I hear anoise somewhere, like, you know,
we here at home, we hear anoise, we hear a door open, we

(43:35):
hear something, we're in ourcomfort zone.
But if we at someone else'shouse and we hear a door open,
we are alert because of theuncomfortability of being
wherever we are.
So when I'm in the bed with you,you know, I think I do feel

(43:56):
because I I think what happens,that's when I'll roll over or
something.
I'll change positions, you know,but it's not to the point where
it disturbs my sleep.

SPEAKER_01 (44:05):
Sometimes when you get in bed, it's like I'll be
like, what is we got it seemslike you sit down, get over,
turn around, get down, up,downside, down, and around, and
in.
But I'll be saying, I bet he'strying to, because of your aches
and pains, just trying to getfind that spot?
Yeah, trying to find that spot.

(44:26):
So that's where some people, orif there's somebody that's a
snore, there's some there aresome people that are snores and
I know I I told the doctor, mymain reason I said he's like, do
you snore?
No, I wouldn't even.

SPEAKER_04 (44:41):
No, I'm just saying.
I I told the doctor.

SPEAKER_01 (44:43):
Because you said I snore.
I was thinking about myself.

SPEAKER_04 (44:45):
But hey.

SPEAKER_01 (44:47):
You think I need a what's a name?

SPEAKER_04 (44:49):
You you would benefit greatly from one.
I ain't even gonna lie.
You would benefit greatly fromone, but I'm when I'm sleep, it
is what it is.
Like I can tone it out.

SPEAKER_01 (45:03):
I cannot tone it out.

SPEAKER_04 (45:05):
When it comes to sleep for you, you turn into
someone else.

SPEAKER_01 (45:11):
Yes.

SPEAKER_04 (45:12):
I ain't gonna say you turn into someone, it's just
who you are.

SPEAKER_01 (45:14):
I'm very short-tempered.

SPEAKER_04 (45:16):
Yes, you you're very short-tempered.

SPEAKER_01 (45:18):
Because I love sleeping.
And it's like love it.
It's it's it's you know I lovesleep.
Let me tell y'all a story when Iwas in high school.
One of my good friends came forher uh to sleep over.
And so we had an extra room.

(45:39):
So I don't know she, if we werein the same room or she came in
the other room, but she woke up,she wakes up early.
Now she knows, maybe she didn'tknow.
I'm not an early riser.
And she came jumping on the bed.

(46:00):
I almost hurt her because uh,and it wasn't, you know, it was
just my reaction becauseeverybody in my house knows me
and sleep.
You don't bother me.
Even like my mom and daddy onetime when I came, I think I came

(46:21):
home from college.
I don't know what it was.
I might have, it might have beenwhen I came home or something.
And if anybody, don't nobodyknow but us.
But my mom and daddy godownstairs and it's early, and
they just are talking loud.
Every coffee cup you heargetting down, every cabinet you

(46:45):
got.

SPEAKER_04 (46:45):
It's probably why you are like that now.
All the things because you neverhad a good night's sleep.

SPEAKER_01 (46:51):
And so one morning I was so frustrated, and I think
maybe I have I did have to go towork, but I was trying to sleep
as long as I could before I wentto work.
So I opened my bedroom door.
I said, some people in thishouse are still trying to sleep,
but I guess y'all don't care.
And I got shut my door real hardand got back in the bed, and I

(47:12):
heard them say, Oh, she donelost her damn mind.
But sleep, like, is so importantto me.
And so I I I just love it.
And I don't want it to beinterrupted.
Like, it is really, really like,I don't know.
I just love it.

(47:32):
That's good.
You should love it.
Yeah, I just love sleep.
Some people don't like sleep.
Some people are early birthday,like to get up.
I just love, I think it's justpeace for me.
Sleep is just like peace.
It just feels so good.
I love sleep.

SPEAKER_04 (47:48):
Yeah, I love it too, but not to the point where I'm,
you know, it I'm quick and snap.
But I I I, you know, I try to beI love sleep.

SPEAKER_01 (47:56):
I can fall asleep anywhere.

SPEAKER_04 (47:58):
I I can too, but I try to be, you know, what a
little more um understanding.

SPEAKER_01 (48:08):
About me and my sleep?

SPEAKER_04 (48:09):
No.
I mean, no, I'm understandingabout your sleep.
I'm understanding what I'msaying, being a little bit more
understanding about like ifsomebody gets out of the bed,
yes, there's gonna be movement.
So you can't expect them not toget out of bed.
And if they get in the bed,there's going to be movement.
So you can't expect them to belight as a feather.
Maybe So hold on.
And so when it does occur thatthis individual is not trying to

(48:35):
disturb your sleep.

SPEAKER_00 (48:36):
I don't think yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (48:37):
But the response is always as if this person knows
better and should do better.
And I can't believe you didn'tdo better, kind of thing.

SPEAKER_01 (48:47):
Maybe y'all need to practice.
How softly can I get into bed?
This is why some.
This is why.
These new couples, the newcouple thing, why they got their
own bedrooms.

SPEAKER_04 (49:01):
It is.
It is.

SPEAKER_01 (49:02):
So they can have like this peaceful sleep.

SPEAKER_04 (49:04):
But I didn't get married to have a separate
bedroom.
At any time.

SPEAKER_01 (49:09):
Yeah.
I this, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (49:11):
Yeah.
I don't believe in that gettingmad and sleeping on the couch.

SPEAKER_01 (49:14):
Oh, yeah.
He doesn't believe in sleepingin a separate room at all.

SPEAKER_04 (49:17):
If we had a disagreement and you ain't
sleeping in here, I don't careif you're mad or not sleeping in
the room.
You go in to sleep in the um,but downstairs, I'm right down
there with you.

SPEAKER_01 (49:28):
Just turn the other cheek.

SPEAKER_04 (49:29):
Yep.
I'm right down there with you.
But yeah.
Last thing we're gonna do issomething happen and then we go,
oh my God, I didn't, da da da.
You never know.

SPEAKER_01 (49:37):
Yeah, that is true.
You never know.
And it's really sometimes youhave to think about it, is it
really that deep?

SPEAKER_04 (49:45):
No.
No, it's not.
And then sleeping away fromsomebody, it it don't change
nothing.

SPEAKER_01 (49:51):
What you mean?

SPEAKER_04 (49:52):
Like Oh, sleep in another room?
Yeah, it don't it doesn't solveanything.
Because you're unconnected.

SPEAKER_01 (49:57):
You still gotta come the next, you still got to talk
about the thing.

SPEAKER_04 (50:00):
Even if they right next to you, you can still be
quiet.
Yeah.
And you can still think aboutokay, what did I do wrong?
What did he do wrong?
What did she do wrong?
All that you can still think,you can still do everything you
need to in the same room.

SPEAKER_02 (50:12):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (50:13):
So all that, let's separate and do this stuff.
No, stop running away from yourproblems.
Your problems are right there.

SPEAKER_01 (50:19):
Yeah.
It's gonna still be theretomorrow.

SPEAKER_04 (50:21):
Yep.

SPEAKER_01 (50:22):
That is true.
So it's better just to go aheadand figure it out.

SPEAKER_04 (50:26):
And figure it out so that you can sleep peacefully.

SPEAKER_01 (50:28):
That is true.

SPEAKER_04 (50:29):
And start your morning better with the
opportunity.

SPEAKER_01 (50:32):
Yeah, because when you go to sleep like that, you
wake up, you're like, I gottastill be made.

SPEAKER_04 (50:36):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (50:37):
So you wake up.

SPEAKER_04 (50:38):
And that other person probably had a great
dream and whatever, and justlike, oh well, you know, it's a
new day.
Thank you, Lord, it's a new day.
And you may be like, I justprayed for a break, a great day.
I thought, you know, I justthank the Lord that He woke me
up this morning.
And here you are wishing thatsomebody didn't wake up.

SPEAKER_01 (50:54):
Oh no, I don't think anybody's wishing that.
But I think that's why somepeople have to think, Joe, go to
bed angry, because if you go tobed angry, then you have to wake
up angry.
Like that's with anything.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (51:06):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (51:07):
So you gotta pray about it, and I guess either
talk it out if you if you feellike you're gonna wake up with a
seal on your heart and yourmind, you might as well, because
you really aren't gonna sleepthat well either.
You don't sleep well angryeither.

SPEAKER_04 (51:20):
No, you don't.
If you do, then that's that'ssome issues you gotta work out.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (51:24):
I know of times of I've been angry, you don't get
good rest.
So it's better stay up, talk itout, then you can get you some
good rest.

SPEAKER_04 (51:33):
Yeah.
I can't sleep good when I'mextremely happy.
Like, yo, I'm extremely happyabout something the next day.
I'm like, oh God, I couldn'teven sleep.
I'll just toss it to her, likelooking at the clock, thinking
it was time, like withChristmas, thinking it was time
to wake up.
You know, so I know definitelyif it's something is um that I'm
mad or upset about, um, I won'tget any sleep.
You know, especially me, becauseI don't I do not like people

(51:57):
being upset with me.

SPEAKER_01 (51:59):
Oh, we now upset that before.

SPEAKER_04 (52:01):
Yeah, I'm just saying.
Well, back to this thing.
Forgetting the importance ofcloseness.
So that's important to me.

SPEAKER_00 (52:08):
Like Then we already said, so that's the point.

SPEAKER_04 (52:10):
Yeah, that's the one, but I'm saying, remember we
were saying it's like the otherone.
The other one, I think, isalmost like physical, uh, what
do they call it?
Public um affection.
Yeah, public affection.
And so, like, I don't mindpublic affection, but I know I
don't do it as much as Iprobably should, or as much as
you probably would want.

(52:31):
But I do like physicalcloseness.
That's like if we're sitting onthe couch.
Yeah, I do like for you to beright there next to me, if you
know, or something like that.
I do like that.
Like I that's important to me.
Physical closeness is very, veryimportant.

SPEAKER_01 (52:44):
And I think physical closeness is not just uh did
they say physical?
Oh, yeah, they did.
I was gonna say becausesometimes I think of closeness
as in talking and connecting inthat way, you know, in that way
too, to me, can feel physical.

SPEAKER_04 (53:00):
Yeah.
All right.
Um, number two, ignoringignoring appearance to get
altogether.
Oh, ignoring appearancealtogether, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 (53:08):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (53:08):
So that means just looking don't care how you look.

SPEAKER_01 (53:10):
Looking a pickle.

SPEAKER_04 (53:12):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (53:12):
That's what that means.
Like you're not really caringanymore about how you look, and
and sometimes people peoplestruggle with getting older and
looking older.
I know for me, sometimes I'mlike, oh my gosh, I can I'm
getting older, like the bags andyour eyes and things.

SPEAKER_04 (53:28):
But um, figuring out how do you grow old gracefully
or yeah, you grow old gracefullyby by not getting those
enhancements because you don'tget to see yourself get old and
appreciate maybe the lines andall that stuff.
And I'm just speaking formyself, don't say, oh, you don't

(53:49):
know women, but I'm saying oncesomeone is in need of those
enhancements and we see themwithout, we're like, ooh, they
look bad.

SPEAKER_01 (53:57):
Not everyone.

SPEAKER_04 (53:58):
But I'm saying, but I'm saying people that like, you
know how we say when people needtheir bow top.
Oh, yeah.
And then we say, oh my God, theylook bad.
But look at this picture before,they didn't look like that just
last week.
You know, something and so webecome part of the problem of
the graceful aging.

SPEAKER_02 (54:15):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (54:16):
You know, and so, but if you like, if you just
look at people that have agedgracefully and how they just
carry themselves and everything,and we're like, you know, oh my
God, they still look beautiful.
Um, but you know, that's that'sThat's not the world we live in,
of course.
And is people are going to saythat's not for us to determine
how somebody looks.

SPEAKER_01 (54:36):
Or how somebody feels about the way they look.

SPEAKER_04 (54:39):
But we can always talk about anything else, but we
can't talk about that.

SPEAKER_01 (54:42):
Yeah.
But I mean, I guess the thingis, well, we also are our own
worst critics.

SPEAKER_04 (54:49):
We are definitely are.

SPEAKER_01 (54:50):
That we see all the flaws that we feel like are
flaws, but other people don'tsee them as flaws, but to us
they are.
And um, and so we we gradeourselves harsher.
And um, yeah, we just that'salso to me about like that
positive self-talk.

SPEAKER_02 (55:10):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (55:11):
Um, to to somehow have that in your life.
And what does it say?
Um, comparison is the thief ofjoy.
Um, we live in a world now wherewe see so you're comparing all
the time.
You're comparing all the time.
Yeah, yeah.
Because you're looking at onepicture.

SPEAKER_04 (55:29):
Facebook could say what?
This time four years ago, andit'll show your memory.
Yeah, to show you a memory.

SPEAKER_01 (55:36):
Yeah, so you see that, and so you're able to see
that part of you aging, and thenyou see other people and and you
don't know.
Sometimes you can tell whenpeople use filters, sometimes
you can't, but um, and then somepeople are getting different
things, their injections and allthe things, and so and you just

(56:01):
have to be happy that you arealive and well, and just trying
to figure out what are thethings you're grateful for so
you can have your person focus.

SPEAKER_04 (56:11):
Make your person feel good.
If if you're not, if you're justa jerk or a hole, then you know,
it's you just that's who youare.
You're not gonna say, well, theydon't look good to me.
I don't like that, you know.
Okay, cool.
But really, if you are really inlove with someone, their their

(56:32):
flaws that are unintentional, itit means nothing.
Like real talk, it meansnothing.
And because you're now seeingthem out of the eyes of
compassion, if that if you knowthat that person also feels a
type of way that there may bechanging in that aspect.
And so when you're looking atthem through the eyes of

(56:52):
compassion, compassion is aboutbeauty anyway.
It's a beautiful heart, abeautiful spirit.
So that's all you're going tosee from your person.
You know, but when you'relooking at it based off of
measurement, then yeah, it's notgonna be the same.

SPEAKER_01 (57:06):
Superficial.

SPEAKER_04 (57:07):
Right.

SPEAKER_01 (57:08):
And and even with that, I think when when people
feel that somebody cares, likethey feel the care, they feel
the compassion, they feel thelove, they feel the empathy.
I think those are things thatmake people want to keep
themselves together doing allthe things.

SPEAKER_02 (57:26):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (57:27):
But when somebody makes them feel otherwise, then
it impacts their self-esteem andthat sort of thing.
I remember somebody I knew andthey gained weight, and their
husband was always sayingsomething about their weight.
And she eventually said, Whydoes it matter my weight?

(57:47):
Because when I was skinny, youcheated on me when I'm big,
you're doing the same thing.
So what difference does it make?
And so, um, yeah, so it's kindof like, you know.
So yeah, it is true.
So in that regard, you have tospeak, you know.

SPEAKER_04 (58:04):
But do stuff to keep yourself up, though.
Like just because you old don'tmean you get to wear an old
behind nightgown that's jackedup with grease on it and stuff
like that.

SPEAKER_01 (58:16):
Also, if you don't like it, then buy them something
that you want to see them intoo.

SPEAKER_04 (58:20):
But also, if you buy them something that you want to
see them in, they have to atleast try it on to see how they
look and how that person looksat them when they got it on.
Well, I agree with you.

SPEAKER_01 (58:32):
I do agree.
And I also agree with this.
When somebody buys yousomething, you can try it on in
your time to try it on.
You don't have to try it onimmediately if you feel like
maybe I haven't showered yet.
Maybe I'm just just trying torelax and I'm not ready to try
on new clothes yet.

(58:53):
But I am gonna try it on, butthen when somebody be trying to
force you to try stuff on intheir time frame, then you get
defiant.

SPEAKER_04 (59:05):
And that's not right.

SPEAKER_01 (59:08):
What happened?

SPEAKER_04 (59:10):
Being defiant just because it ain't just because
you just said it.

SPEAKER_01 (59:15):
It's not just because you just said it.
It is a reason.

SPEAKER_04 (59:19):
Okay.

SPEAKER_01 (59:21):
So there is a reason.

SPEAKER_04 (59:23):
Just make sure you try to dress right, you know, to
you know, the brain to keep theflames where they need to be.

SPEAKER_01 (59:31):
Um and don't say, if you don't try this on, I'm just
gonna take it back.
See why I even buy it in thefirst place.
Don't say that.
Because then they'll be evenmore defiant.

SPEAKER_04 (59:40):
Hey, it is what it is.
Take it back.
And then you don't buy nothing.
Say, why you don't buy me?

SPEAKER_01 (59:47):
All right, well, what's the first thing?
So what's the last thing?

SPEAKER_04 (59:53):
I was telling trying to help the people.

SPEAKER_01 (59:55):
Okay, sure you were.

SPEAKER_04 (59:57):
I was trying to help the people.

SPEAKER_01 (59:58):
Come on, oh, you thought.

SPEAKER_04 (01:00:00):
I was talking about you.
Child.

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:03):
Who are you talking about?
Your mama.

SPEAKER_04 (01:00:05):
No, I was just talking about like scenarios.
This thing says why husbandslose attraction after 50.
So I'm trying to help all thesehusbands.

SPEAKER_00 (01:00:14):
I hear you.

SPEAKER_04 (01:00:15):
The number one thing on the list.
I'm not going to say number onething, but it's the number one.

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:19):
First thing listed.

SPEAKER_04 (01:00:21):
Talking more about problems than possibilities.

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:25):
Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (01:00:26):
That is a kicker for me.

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:28):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (01:00:30):
Like, and I and even there should be a problem limit.
You know?
Like sometimes I understandthere are problems, but it's
like, you know what?
We're not going to um.

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:47):
Is it y'all's problems or anybody's problems?

SPEAKER_04 (01:00:51):
Anybody's problems.
Oh, I'm talking about people'sproblems.
Yeah.
So it's like there's a limitbecause.

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:58):
Well, what's gonna be how you gonna tell me with
the limit?
Oh, he does tell me limit, hego.
I don't hear no more.

unknown (01:01:05):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:01:05):
Enough already.
I'd had a tough negative day.
I can't hear no more negativestuff.
Let's talk about something else.

SPEAKER_04 (01:01:10):
Let's get to the positive.
And even when it's the negative,like if I had a negative day, if
I had a positive day, don't turnthe the you know, the
temperature down in the room.
It's like we at a club andkicking it.
Ooh, yeah.
And all of a sudden you put onsome.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

(01:01:31):
boom, boom, boom.

SPEAKER_01 (01:01:32):
Love and happiness.
I like that song.

SPEAKER_04 (01:01:35):
Yeah, but like blowing.
Right.
You see there?
But it's in reading the room.
Everybody get crooked off, yeah,glow.
And then she just put that on.
And we're like, wait a minute.
You know.
But uh, yeah, you gotta, yougotta um limit that the
problems.
Like you can talk about problemsbecause, you know, you want to

(01:01:57):
make sure you have some resolve.

SPEAKER_01 (01:02:00):
But um yeah, if you feel like it's a problem, then
you you do have to find somepoint for y'all to talk about
what it is because if you holdon to it, it'll come out in ugly
ways.
So you do have to talk about it.
But I do agree the additionalproblems that have nothing to do
with y'all, like for some peoplethat's a fixer, doesn't all I

(01:02:25):
think this this is myhypothesis.
Somebody who is a fixer and kindof, I mean, really sees an easy
solution, yeah, but the easysolution is not being done with
the people who have the problem.
There's a frustration level, andit's like it's a waste of time

(01:02:45):
to talk about because peoplearen't doing the things they
need to do.
So why even talk about it?

SPEAKER_04 (01:02:52):
Let it go.

SPEAKER_01 (01:02:53):
Is that a good hypothesis?

SPEAKER_04 (01:02:54):
Yeah, it's a good hypothesis.
And then, you know, sometimesyou'll say, uh What will I say?
Like, you know, no, well no, Ihave to ask you.
What do I ask now?
Because I'm like, do you want meto solve it or listen?

SPEAKER_01 (01:03:10):
Or listen.
Yes, because this one will go.
He immediately gets to, well, dada da, you need to do, and why
did you ask them?
And I go, oh, you have reallylike taken it up a notch.
It's not even all of that.
And then so I'm glad he startsasking.

(01:03:32):
Because then I'll be like,goodness gracious, Tyrone, you
took it too far.

SPEAKER_04 (01:03:37):
Because the way she tells it, it's like it's the, oh
my God, you just gotta, and andand then she be getting mad.
Like, I hate when she tells mestuff in public because people
across the room be thinkingwe're fussing.
But she'll be like, and so Itold her, I still look at him.

(01:03:58):
And then and I'll be like, what?
You know, and so they looking atus thinking, oh my gosh, she is
really giving it to him.
And she just telling me a story.
Then next thing we'll startlaughing, they're probably like,
that lady bipolar.
But that's how she is.
She was like, and so I was like,and then and then and so then
I'm like, okay, is she beinganimated or she's a big one?

SPEAKER_01 (01:04:17):
Well, now that makes me feel like my coworker was
right.
Because she says, Kree's gonnatell you the story, but it's
gonna be, it's gonna sound moredramatic.

SPEAKER_04 (01:04:25):
I mean, you you go there, but then we're gonna.

SPEAKER_01 (01:04:28):
But I'm telling the truth though.

SPEAKER_04 (01:04:29):
But I'm like, look, do you want me to fix it or do
you want me to just listen?

SPEAKER_01 (01:04:33):
And what I also want you to, okay, here is is not
dramatics.
Here's what it is.
It's because I also want you tofeel how I I need you to feel
the feelings that I feel.

SPEAKER_04 (01:04:48):
I feel it.
I feel it without, but No, youdon't.

SPEAKER_01 (01:04:51):
When I do it like that, that's why you be getting
like, well then, da-da-da.
No.
Because I'm like, because youfeel what I feel.

SPEAKER_04 (01:04:58):
I get like that even in a calm conversation.
When we when I'm listening, sideear hustling to a conversation,
what I say too.
I'll be like, you know what, letme go.
Because I can't say nothing.
Oh, yeah.
Because it's not myconversation.

SPEAKER_01 (01:05:12):
You can say something.
And then some things you justdon't want to say.
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (01:05:16):
But at the same time, like, I I get it.
You know, I can I'm really goodat read, I can read the room.
I just wanted to.

SPEAKER_00 (01:05:23):
Well, maybe I am just an actor.

SPEAKER_04 (01:05:28):
You might be.
And maybe, well, I ain't nomaybe.
I do know that, like, you workin an environment that has a lot
of stuff that um goes on.
Yes.
And with a lot of personalities.

SPEAKER_01 (01:05:44):
So I'm trying to have you envision the
personalities through mydramatization of what happened.
Because I even have to mock howthe person sounds and all of
that.

SPEAKER_04 (01:05:59):
I don't mind none of that.
I don't mind none of that.
I just want like sometimes I'veand and I never want you to I
don't I never want you to getthe feeling that I don't want
you to share your day with me.
But I just like sometimes I belike, okay.

(01:06:22):
Two dramatizations, that's it.
Now, how are you doing, babe?
Let's, you know, let's get totalking and laughing with each
other.

SPEAKER_01 (01:06:32):
And guess what else did He did?
I don't call nobody.

SPEAKER_04 (01:06:37):
No, you don't.
She don't, but I mean, it'sjust, and I be like, look,
y'all.

SPEAKER_01 (01:06:42):
Some of the stuff is dramatization, but it's also
funny to me.
It it yeah, because it'sunbelievable.
It's unbelievable that they'renot.
And so I'm not upset, but it'slike so funny to me.
Like, can you believe that?
Yeah, so I think they're justinteresting stories.
There's so many interestingpeople.

SPEAKER_04 (01:07:01):
It definitely is.
It's it's a it's a a retirementbook, you know, book that you
write when you retire and yougotta worry about getting no
jobs.

SPEAKER_01 (01:07:09):
It's just, yeah, it's just interesting people um
everywhere, really.
But um, yeah, I just like to I Itell a good story.
You want to hear a good story?
I need to tell it.

SPEAKER_04 (01:07:22):
No, I tell a good story.
People be thinking I'm lying.
But I be to my story be true.

SPEAKER_01 (01:07:27):
Sometimes I be thinking he lied too.

SPEAKER_04 (01:07:29):
A lot of times you thought he was lying.
Until what?

SPEAKER_01 (01:07:32):
Until I found out everybody be lying.
So who tells the truth?
Is it Kurtz?

SPEAKER_04 (01:07:37):
Oh no, girl, yes.
That's them boys.

SPEAKER_01 (01:07:40):
Is it De Nova?

SPEAKER_04 (01:07:41):
Almost killed themselves.
Yes.
No, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:07:44):
So it's a lot of shit.
Like, I don't believe that.
I don't believe that.

SPEAKER_04 (01:07:46):
They're like, what?
They did what?
He didn't know.

SPEAKER_01 (01:07:49):
I did think he was stretching the truth.

SPEAKER_04 (01:07:52):
But uh, oh, here's one on the list.
This is a uh, what do they callhonorable mention?

SPEAKER_01 (01:07:56):
Okay, what's honorable mention one?

SPEAKER_04 (01:07:58):
So the thing is from the list, sorry, but these 18
habits makes husbands loseattraction after 50.

SPEAKER_01 (01:08:05):
What is honorable mention?

SPEAKER_04 (01:08:07):
Drum rope.
Treating him like another child.
Yep.
Yeah.
That will not fly.

SPEAKER_01 (01:08:22):
And nor will it fly vice versa.

SPEAKER_04 (01:08:26):
And it's good.
But it's not as bad as it usedto be because she's not teaching
kids anymore.
But when she was around themkids, like Kree had uh Kree has
a I did stuff after school, so Iwas able to separate pockets.
She didn't, she would comestraight from work and then

(01:08:48):
home.
And then I was still the personthat's supposed to walk on the
right side of the hallway withmy hands beside my side and two
fingers to my lips like this.
And she sometimes forgot that.
And um maybe it was myyouthfulness, you know,
appearance.
But uh sometimes I had to, youknow, say, oh wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,wait, wait.

(01:09:08):
Hold on now.

SPEAKER_01 (01:09:10):
You done.

SPEAKER_04 (01:09:11):
And then she would, she would, she would do, you
know.
But she would, she would, shewould, um, one thing I will uh
praise her for, she would say,My bad.
And it was a uh a sincere mybad.
My bad.
And because she knew it waslike, oof.
But I also know because therewas only a few people that she

(01:09:35):
could uh what's the word I'mlooking for?

SPEAKER_01 (01:09:40):
Find it.

SPEAKER_04 (01:09:41):
No, be the outlet for her because you know, she
worked with some characterseverywhere.
And so I'm the outlet person alot, you know.
Um the voice of reason that Icould talk to and something like
that.
So, but then like I said, if itwas something that would that
was stressful, I was that, butwhich you you I'm supposed to be

(01:10:06):
that.
I'm supposed to be that.
Like I I I want that, you know,because then I can help her work
through it.
But definitely treat me like achild.
Wait, are you done?
Yeah, because this is about themen.
Anyways.
So is this the is this thewoman's list?

SPEAKER_01 (01:10:23):
Listen, Linda.
Go ahead.

SPEAKER_04 (01:10:25):
We can do a woman's list too.
Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 (01:10:26):
No, it's not a women's list.
I just have to say thatsometimes I was talking to like
a child too, and someone had tobe corrected.
Specifically, if we want to givean example, I have an example.

SPEAKER_04 (01:10:40):
You can give an example.
Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 (01:10:41):
The example was one time we were talking, and I
think it might have been alittle bit of a disagreement or
something was being said, andy'all know what somebody had to
know.
What is it to say to me?
What did he say?
You understand?
You understand what I'm saying?
No, it was the tone like youwere talking to a child.
First of all, who are youtalking to?

(01:11:03):
That's what I was thinking.
Um, so teacher for teacher, weboth sometimes forgot that we
were talking to our wonderfulamazing spouse.

SPEAKER_04 (01:11:19):
You understand is a trigger for her, regardless of
the tone.

SPEAKER_01 (01:11:26):
No, because do I understand?
Who are you talking to?

SPEAKER_04 (01:11:30):
You do you understand?
Do you understand?
You understand what I'm talkingabout?

SPEAKER_01 (01:11:33):
No, that ain't how the tone.
No.

SPEAKER_04 (01:11:35):
No, I'm not, I know that wasn't a tone, but I'm
saying it is a trigger for you,regardless of the tone.
If it's a conversation aboutwhether someone is, it's almost
a right or wrong discussion thatwe're having.
And in a right or wrongdiscussion that we're having, if

(01:11:57):
I say you you understand, evenif it's calm, it's like that
it's I'm that's a trigger forher.

SPEAKER_01 (01:12:05):
So that's something that I had to learn.
Oh, I was gonna say, so whywould you say it if you know
it's a trigger?
Because why would you continue?
But you don't say it anymore.

SPEAKER_04 (01:12:19):
Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 (01:12:20):
But I was just saying, if you knew it.

SPEAKER_04 (01:12:25):
Oh, okay, hold on.
So am I listening?
How many times am I here toprovide an answer?

SPEAKER_01 (01:12:35):
No, you already answered it.

SPEAKER_04 (01:12:37):
No, you but you I was trying to, but then you did
the statement.
Remember, you already answeredit.
You said you just said so, so,so you did uh you know, adjust
it.
I was like, that's what we justsaid, so there's no need to even
say that.
Do you understand?

SPEAKER_01 (01:12:58):
He's trying to die tonight.

SPEAKER_04 (01:13:03):
But uh, but that's part of it too.
Uh, like you said, learning.
Um because some things may notcome up until later.
You know?
Um but once you make that thatuh discovery, what do you do
with it?
What do you do with thatinformation?

(01:13:23):
Do you use it to uh say, okay, II noticed it, make a note of it
and say this is this is not umhealthy in our relationship.
Let me make a change.
Uh or you say something, look, Isee this is not healthy, but
let's discuss this because Idon't think the intention is
wrong, or you know, I thinkyou're getting what I'm what I'm

(01:13:44):
trying to say, you know,confused, you know.
So it's it's it's uh a room forcommunication.
I mean, it's it's a a time forcommunication.
It's always a time forcommunication in a great
relationship.
For sure.
But um you can't be afraid tonotice something and then speak
up about it.

SPEAKER_01 (01:14:01):
Because if you um then it becomes the thing that
really can divide you if youkeep um letting it happen and
you don't speak up about it.
People always go with that, Isay it all the time.
Well, they oughta know.
No, people don't know.
They don't know, they don't knowuntil you tell them.

SPEAKER_04 (01:14:20):
And it it is it is unfair.
So if Kree does something to meand I don't speak up about it,
it is unfair to her when I blowup about it and say it's always
happening.
That is so unfair to her if Ilet her do something that that I
hated for eight years, somethingthat she could have easily

(01:14:42):
adjusted adjusted.

SPEAKER_02 (01:14:44):
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (01:14:44):
So you have to um make a note ofthat and and speak with your
partner about it.
Um you know, and and thensometimes reevaluate yourself
and say, why am I getting upset?
Why is this triggering me?

SPEAKER_01 (01:14:59):
I don't know why that is triggered, why that
triggers me.
Maybe it's because um I havecontrol issues.

SPEAKER_04 (01:15:05):
Yeah.
Yep.
I understand.
I understand.

SPEAKER_01 (01:15:13):
So I like to be in control.

SPEAKER_04 (01:15:15):
Yeah, I understand.
I understand that.

SPEAKER_01 (01:15:18):
And that's also because I probably have trust
issues.

SPEAKER_04 (01:15:20):
Y'all understand.
We understand.
Well, that's true.
But no, it is definitely.

SPEAKER_01 (01:15:26):
That has all the things to do with it.

SPEAKER_04 (01:15:28):
And um, yeah, that's that's a whole nother thing
because we could talk aboutrelinquishing control, and
sometimes relinquishing controlis the best control.

SPEAKER_00 (01:15:38):
I know.
So it's the best control.

SPEAKER_04 (01:15:40):
Yeah, it's not really for me.
I let I don't I I do not mind.
It's be like, okay, I'm good.
I do not mind.
I'm quick to say that.
Um, all right, so let's see.
Uh Side Eye.
Oh, did we have a believingsister for this week?

SPEAKER_01 (01:15:57):
We don't have a believer sister.
We didn't put it together.

SPEAKER_04 (01:16:00):
You sure we don't?
Okay.
Well, I guess well, I you know,because I be thinking sometimes
we we miss stuff, but then wegot some podcast people that we
follow out there, and sometimesthey be forgetting their topics
or run through their topics.
Um, so What's the cocktails,horrible dis horror cocktails,
dirty discussions?
Is that what it's called?

(01:16:22):
It's cocktails, I know that withKiki and Medina.
Yeah, we like that.
Yeah, I love that podcast.

SPEAKER_01 (01:16:27):
Um, I do have one, and I'm gonna try to I think I
can save this.

SPEAKER_04 (01:16:34):
Um, no, I'll wait weekend.
No, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 (01:16:41):
This is my side eye.
Um, so I was at a place wherepizza was being served.
And um, this couple episodesago.
Yeah, and pizza was being servedto people.
And the person serving the pizzafor one did not wear gloves.

SPEAKER_04 (01:17:02):
And reaching in there with his hand.

SPEAKER_01 (01:17:03):
Yeah, reaching in there in it with their hand.
But the side eye is this, y'all.
Because I'm saying if you washyour hands and all you're doing
is serving and you're not doinganything, okay, fine.
You wash your hands.
That's fine.
Your hands are clean.
Fine.
But this guess what this persondid, y'all?
The pizza was pretty saucy andcheesy, you know.

(01:17:29):
They licked their fingers toclean them off before serving
another slice.
And I that's what I should havesaid out loud.
I could not, and I'm not talkingabout, I mean, licking is bad,

(01:17:51):
period.
But what I'm talking about, awhole thumb going in somebody's
mouth.
Y'all.
Yeah, just like that.
Just like that.
Uh I couldn't believe it.
And still reaching and grabbingand licking and going and
tabbing and licking and going.

(01:18:11):
Y'all, I couldn't believe it.
I was like, well, guess I don'twant any pizza today.
And um, no, I did.
I I did not do that.
So um, yeah, that was my sideeye.
I'm just thinking, as grownpeople, we don't know how to
serve food in a sanitary way.

(01:18:34):
You couldn't get gloves, youcouldn't use a napkin, you
couldn't resist the urge, youcouldn't grabbed the napkin and
kind of wiped your hands off andthen started again serving the
pizzas.
But you thought it was alrightto stick your whole thumb and
fingers in your mouth, not justonce, but the entire time of you

(01:18:59):
serving pizza.
That's disgusting.
Disgusting, y'all.
I was like, wow.
I was at a loss for words, but Ishould have said, have y'all
heard?
Have y'all seen her?
That girl.
Hilarious.
I should have said just that.
I wish I would have had itpulled though, because I would
have played it so loud.

(01:19:19):
So, anywho, that's my side eye.

SPEAKER_04 (01:19:22):
My side eye of the week occurred today at the uh
science thing.
Um, me and uh Monroe wastalking.
And so we were talking about umsnakes or something.
You know, they know I hatesnakes.
And so she said, um, shoot, I uhI need to get something for

(01:19:46):
this, for uh a snake.
And I was like, oh yeah, I said,uh a gun.
I said, because the uh the onlythe only kind of snake is the
dead snake.
And so this um lady was walking,she said, that part.
And I was like, you know theones that always insert

(01:20:07):
themselves.

SPEAKER_01 (01:20:07):
Oh yes, I do.

SPEAKER_04 (01:20:10):
And then when they insert themselves with the
vernacular to know.

SPEAKER_01 (01:20:15):
She did it with like, uh, believe it, sister.

SPEAKER_04 (01:20:18):
Yeah, like when I said, believe it.
So she said that part.
Yeah, and I and I stopped, Isaid, and it was actually our
side, because I was like, it'sour conversation.
Get it, stop being no, you know,but I was like, okay, all right,
all right, girls, and just kepton walking.
I was like, and we looked ateach other, we said, and just

(01:20:43):
shook our head, you know.
But that was my side out of theweek.
All right, so what are youlooking forward to?

SPEAKER_01 (01:20:50):
Oh, I am without a doubt looking forward to 4 p.m.
tomorrow.
Fingers crossed for an earlyout.
We'll see.
All right, but um, if not, I'mstill I'm still thankful for 4
p.m.
and a whole nine days off.

SPEAKER_02 (01:21:10):
You get your hair done Saturday?
Saturday.

SPEAKER_01 (01:21:13):
I get my hair done.
Yeah, I get my hair doneSaturday.
Cinnabon does too.
Cinnabon gets her hair doneSaturday.
Um, yeah, I am I keep I I thinkfor the last three weeks, I say
I'm looking forward to break.
So uh, but I am.
I'm trying to think of anythingelse.
I mean, um, and of coursespending time with my mom and

(01:21:34):
daddy soon.
So looking forward to that too.
Okay.
What are you looking forward to?

SPEAKER_04 (01:21:39):
Um, I'm looking forward to I was looking forward
to the break, but then I'm gonnastill look forward to it because
I know it's I love your parentsand stuff, but it's the drive,
and I'm just praying that thedrive don't take a lot out of
me.
Cause it's just I'm this ain'tbeen a good baby speaking at it.

(01:21:59):
No, I'm saying physical use.
Oh, physical for your body.
Yeah, it's been up and down thisyear.
A lot of, you know, like, dang,what's happening this year for
me, you know.
But it's it's it's been a lot ofgood, you know, like like
exercising, a lot of nice weightgain, muscle gain, but it's been
a lot of aches and pains andstuff that I've been trying to

(01:22:20):
take care of, but it's just it'snot even related to the other.

SPEAKER_01 (01:22:25):
The thing about it is I think all of the hard
things you put on your body arenow like, y'all.
When I tell y'all, when weearlier in marriage and this one
was on baseball um teams andsoftball teams and this guy did

(01:22:50):
some crazy things on thosefields.
But it was out of making plays.
But I could only imagine, sothat's in his 30s, 40s.
I can only imagine what thatlooked like in his teens, right?
So he believes in going all inballs to the wall, anything that

(01:23:13):
he does, part of hisperfectionist, the perfectionist
in him.
Um the the it's just hittinghim.
And I think all of those yearsof the things you put your body
through, it's catching up.
It's catching up.
Uh-huh.
I believe that all those thingsare catching up because I gotta

(01:23:36):
take care of you, you youenjoyed your body.
And I swear, if I could find it.

SPEAKER_04 (01:23:42):
You did all the things.
If I could find a softballleague now, I would be out there
doing the same thing.
Yes.
So I know no other way.

SPEAKER_01 (01:23:48):
Yes.
So all the things he done puthis body through so much that he
knows how over, over, how muchhe overdoes it, that when things
happen and people have to callme, he knows.
Oh gosh, uh, please don't callmy wife.
Because I know how he does.
He does too much to merch.

(01:24:11):
But so now that's why he has allthese ailments now.
Because But anyway.
Yeah, he over he he did tomerch.

SPEAKER_04 (01:24:19):
I'm looking forward to the break, but kind of not
looking, but I'm I'm lookingforward to it.
Kind of.
You know really, I don't know.
No, well, I'm not necessarilykind of not.
I'm just a drive.
That's a drive.

SPEAKER_01 (01:24:31):
It is, I know.

SPEAKER_04 (01:24:32):
That is a drive, and it's not, it doesn't get any
shorter.
You know, it doesn't.

SPEAKER_01 (01:24:37):
We've got to find a way to make it more enjoyable.
We gotta figure out like, whatis it gonna be to make it like
not seem so long?
I'm gonna think of somestrategies.
I'm gonna ask chat.

SPEAKER_02 (01:24:46):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:24:46):
We'll ask chat how can we break up this drive to
make it tolerable and uh not solike the drive.
All right.
And I bet you chat will give ussome great suggestions.

SPEAKER_04 (01:24:58):
So, not to rush you, but I don't know how much he is
rushing me, but my phone mightdie.

SPEAKER_01 (01:25:02):
Okay, good, because I got things to do anyway.

SPEAKER_04 (01:25:04):
All right, you do supposed to be running.
That's right.
Okay.
So, what are you grateful for?
Welcome back from the break, youguys, to almost refreshingly
normal.
Well, 50% refreshingly normal.
As you can see, we don't havethe same gear on because our
young lady here needed to finishher run.

SPEAKER_00 (01:25:25):
Oh, did you shower?

SPEAKER_04 (01:25:27):
Yes, and I showered.
So I still had to do all ofthat.
But it was because uh the thephone did run out uh of power of
juice.
I gotta figure out how to bringthe sound to the phone.

SPEAKER_01 (01:25:40):
Well, let's keep going before we run out of
power.

SPEAKER_04 (01:25:42):
While doing the juice at the same time.
So oh now she wants to rush, butbefore when she didn't want to
rush.
But we'll do it.
Y'all see it.
Keep score.
All right, so Kree, what are youthankful for?

SPEAKER_01 (01:25:54):
Let's see.
I'm gonna put, I am thankful fora husband that some mornings, if
he beats me out the door and hemade himself breakfast, he will
make me a breakfast to go.
And it will be what he knows Iwould want to eat, like egg
whites and turkey bacon, buthe'll make just what he knows

(01:26:16):
that I want.
And so it's always a nicesurprise to go down and see a
breakfast left for me with myname on it.

SPEAKER_04 (01:26:23):
That's a good man, Savannah.
All right, I'm thankful for uhthe um opportunity to be able to
travel.
Because um, you know, in inlight of a lot of stuff that

(01:26:43):
went on, you know, in the worldrecently with the shutdown and
stuff, it it put a lot of peoplethrough some stress.
And uh thankful that we're ableto be able to travel to still
see family.

SPEAKER_01 (01:26:56):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (01:26:56):
While we can.
Um, you know, a lot of timeswe're like, man, we ain't going
this time, but you gotta, youknow, you don't know if this
time is the last time, so youknow, respectfully, so you
gotta, you know, go ahead andjust spend some time, spend as
much time as you can with them.
And I'm glad that I do have uhin-laws that I do not mind

(01:27:18):
sitting with all day, severaldays, talking and laughing with.
Um it's crazy because peoplesay, you know how that goes with
in-laws, I'll be like, nah.
I like my in-laws.
And then they look at me like, Imean, you could at least agree
with you.
Sure you do.
Yeah, right, sure you do.
You could at least agree withme.
But uh, nah, that's what I'mthankful for that we're gonna,

(01:27:39):
you know, we're able to traveland we're and I have some uh
in-laws that I don't mindtraveling to see.
Even 15 hours.
Because there's some folks, theyin-laws live across the street.
Well, not across the street perse, but less than an hour away,
yeah, across town, and theydefinitely not going to see
them.
But we're going, we're gonnamake that ride.

SPEAKER_00 (01:27:58):
Woo!

SPEAKER_01 (01:28:00):
Yeah, so I think I got an idea.
Like, I know chat's gonna helpus, but maybe in certain places
we can find places where we goand get something new in a
certain city or something thatwe drive through.
If like it it I know we'redriving early hours.

SPEAKER_04 (01:28:16):
I remember I said before it was gonna be 15 hours.

SPEAKER_01 (01:28:19):
So this is gonna be 20 hours.
That is true.
Maybe not every, but maybe wechoose like a few three places.
Something.
I'm gonna find somethingsignificant for a stop.
It won't be a long stop, butit'll be a stop that maybe we'll
align with gas, or you know, wecan maybe align the gas stop
with that stop.

SPEAKER_04 (01:28:40):
Well, we could always do like we used to.
Every time we stop at one ofthem little hole in the wall
gas, they get some good friedchicken gizzards.

SPEAKER_01 (01:28:46):
No, I don't want to do that.
I was thinking more coffeeshops.

SPEAKER_04 (01:28:50):
Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:28:51):
Not fried gizzards.
The gizzards are the great roadsnacks.
One time we did get some goodfried gizzards.
I don't know where we were, butthey were delicious.

SPEAKER_04 (01:29:00):
They were very good.

SPEAKER_01 (01:29:01):
But I was thinking more coffee.

SPEAKER_04 (01:29:02):
We stopped that place twice.
Yeah.
One time y'all was still kind ofasleep.
Yeah.
And then the other time you wasup.
But they were very goodgizzards.
Anywho.

SPEAKER_00 (01:29:11):
So all right, guys.

SPEAKER_04 (01:29:14):
But we gotta check out the hamburger joint.
They said one of the tophamburger joints.
It was like the hamburgerjoints.

SPEAKER_01 (01:29:21):
Because they don't even sell anything you can get.

SPEAKER_04 (01:29:22):
But they didn't sell uh turkey.
Well, it's fine.
As long as y'all can try it andtell how good it is.

SPEAKER_01 (01:29:27):
Hey, you know what I'm looking for?

SPEAKER_04 (01:29:29):
She always says she don't want it, but she'll take a
bite of whatever it is you got.
So she doesn't.

SPEAKER_01 (01:29:32):
I'm just saying, I don't like to go and I can't say
we can't kind of compare atleast something that you have
that we could compare or have.
We don't want to go someplaceand and you there's nothing that
you can have.

SPEAKER_04 (01:29:43):
She goes to the beauty salon.

SPEAKER_01 (01:29:45):
You can go to the beauty salon if you want to.
I'm sure she would shave you upand wash you up and do all the
things.
First of all, so anywho, I willtell you what I'm looking
forward to in which tall eating.
Uh Brahms, the best littleburgers.

SPEAKER_02 (01:29:59):
Um

SPEAKER_01 (01:30:00):
Uh spangles.

SPEAKER_00 (01:30:01):
It just tastes better.

SPEAKER_01 (01:30:04):
All right.
Um, so looking forward to thosetwo burger places because they
don't have them here.
So I'll I will be getting agourmet supreme with cheese and
uh Brahms number one withcheese.

SPEAKER_04 (01:30:16):
Well, I'm looking forward to trying the uh smoked
turkey we got from Costco.

SPEAKER_01 (01:30:20):
Oh, yeah.
If y'all haven't got your smokedCostco turkey, we hear that that
is the lick.

SPEAKER_04 (01:30:26):
Yep, I got two of them.

SPEAKER_01 (01:30:28):
So instead of y'all, some of y'all trying to first
time fry a turkey burning downyour homes, just go buy you one
from Costco.
Yeah.
They're reasonably priced,somewhere between 40 to 50
something dollars.
Pop it in the oven.
You can even lie and tellsomebody you smoked it all
night.

SPEAKER_04 (01:30:44):
Because you can still, I seen this one lady, she
poured melted butter over it,did pour Cajun seasoning on it
when she put it in the oven.
Yeah.
That way it gave a little moreflavor to it.

SPEAKER_01 (01:30:52):
Don't tell nobody.
Tell them you did it.

SPEAKER_04 (01:30:54):
You did it.

SPEAKER_01 (01:30:55):
Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04 (01:30:55):
Yeah.
All right.
So we're going to get out ofhere, y'all.
Uh we appreciate you as always.
Uh continue to watch, like, andsubscribe.
Also, when I'm saying watch,like, I know sometimes YouTube,
like, it's a uh just an audio,but I've been trying to be
regular and consistent aboutputting the video up on YouTube.

SPEAKER_01 (01:31:17):
Y'all, I haven't even gone and look.
I need to go look.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (01:31:19):
Well, don't look at this week, because this week
made me remember.
I said, oh shoot, I forgot toput the video up.
But it will be up beforeSaturday.
But there's tons of videos up ofuh of the YouTube on YouTube.
So thank y'all again.
Thank you.
We appreciate you.
We love you.
This is Kefa.

SPEAKER_00 (01:31:36):
Gracias.
Gracias.

SPEAKER_04 (01:31:39):
This is who?
Your Glacier.
This is Kefla, and this isGlacias.

SPEAKER_01 (01:31:44):
This is Craig.

SPEAKER_04 (01:31:46):
And this is the Refreshingly Normal Podcast.

SPEAKER_01 (01:31:50):
Now let me go get in the shower.

SPEAKER_04 (01:31:52):
Please.

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