From Burn to Balance: Mastering the Art of Moving On

Today, I wanted to reflect what does it really mean to be able to move on from a situation. For example, how can you disengage your anger quickly? Look out at us and when you're driving a car that is getting its transmission sticky and it's getting stuck in a gear or it doesn't want to go into drive or it doesn't want to go in reverse. And you need to go to a mechanic and find the reason behind it. And you work on it because you really want your car to go forward as you want and be able to reverse as you want to. You want to have full control of your vehicle, which is understandable. The same way it should be with our emotions, with the train of thoughts, with the way that we take control of ourselves. Yes, this is easier said than done. And it requires many, many years of self-discipline in order to achieve it. But it's not impossible to achieve. And you have to start with small steps. You can't just say, I'm going to do it and do it. If you can, more power to you. But this is a discipline. Disciplines are not created overnight. They're actually molded to time, identifying the causes and effects of what we want to have control over, what discipline do we want to have in life. And what I'll be doing today, for example, is how do we control our anger? There's really no sure way of controlling our anger. We think we have an idea. There are so many ways to trigger anger. So my goal has been to address the problem by, instead of focusing on what happened in the moment, as soon as I get enough information, I want to move up into how are we going to fix it and how can we prevent it from happening again. After we get that accomplished, then we can take time to see the problem and fully take it in. Why do I say that? Because a first reaction may be, who to blame? Why did it happen? who could be so deliberately inexperienced or purposely trying to do something wrong. Sometimes we go as far as, you know, talking down on people because we think, well, how could you have made that mistake? I would never. Well, you know, we all make mistakes. Sometimes it depends if you're caught making it or not. sometimes we forget our own mistakes and we see other people can make the same mistake we've done and we still assume that we're incapable of making such mistakes. So when you see a problem or when you are confronted with a problem, if you let those emotions take over first, your chances of really finding the road of the issue increases. Because your first step should be, how did this happen? How could we have stopped it from happening, prevented from happening? And how can this be prevented in the future? If a dog bites you, your main focus is to get the dog off your hand. Now whose dog it is, why is the dog attacking you, or anything like that. It's called reaction. Yes, you're going to have a reaction. Somebody gets you upset. You might scream back. You might say things that you don't wish. But after that does settle, then you must make a reflection on yourself. What got you there? What triggered you? What was the issue? And that way you get to learn about yourself. And eventually, when issues like that pop up, the way you address it now becomes a logical, rational way instead of an emotional way. And when you don't let emotions cloud your mind, you can actually find solutions to those problems that trigger such a response. But again, this is a discipline. This is something that you gain through time. This is something that you learn by paying attention to details, by being willing to be trained on your own understanding. Yes, going to a therapist is vital. Having a good mentor is great. Having a good support system, it's even better. But it starts with the self. If you are not willing to take the time, to take the initiative, to take the full discipline, willing to be disciplined, you can never really achieve it. Now, I will say, I do believe we are all capable of doing this. And therefore, in order for this to truly, truly be effective, you must always show up for yourself. And every week, we have a new episode on The Resilient Philosopher. Don't forget the books, specifically The Resilient Philosopher, The Prism of Reality, which is now also available in a digital copy for free and the website visionlion.com.