May 5, 2025 • 36 mins
Executive stage presence coach Erin Duffy returns to discuss how authentic leadership presence transforms careers and inspires others, whether on camera or in person. She shares practical techniques for creating meaningful connections in virtual environments and challenges common misconceptions about what it means to be a leader.
• The key to camera confidence is seeing beyond the technology to connect with the person on the other side
• Leaders create "a 3D world in a 2D space" by bringing their full selves to virtual environments
• Leadership isn't about managing people but taking initiative on things that matter to you
• Mid-career professionals need to reclaim dormant parts of themselves to advance to the next level
• Women often feel they need to be 100% qualified for a role while men apply with only 60% qualifications
• The "inner game" involves reconnecting with past successes and what truly energizes you
• "When we show up 100% our authentic self, we have no competition"
• Your presence affects everyone in the room - by owning your authentic self, you inspire future leaders
Learn about Erin's new book "How to Build Empowered Partners to Skyrocket Your Visibility and Income for Creative Entrepreneurs" and subscribe to her newsletter for stage presence and leadership tips.
Connect with Erin
Executive Edge Newsletter - https://inspirationsqrd.com/subscribe/
LinkedIn - www.linkedin.com/in/erin--duffy/
YouTube - @erinduffy-inspirationsqrd
Instagram - @inspirationsqrd
Empowered Partner Workshop Series kicks off Monday, May 12th 2025, and features 12 live virtual workshops led by 10 expert contributors from the book. If you're ready to stop networking aimlessly and start building relationships that truly move you forward — this is your moment.
Register at: https://gr187.isrefer.com/go/wkshpseries/ErinDuffy
Thanks for listening! To book a free consultation with Aideen visit https://www.confidenceinsinging.com/contact/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Aideen Ni Riada (00:02):
Welcome to the Resonate podcast with Aideen.
I'm Aideen Ni Riada, and myguest today is Erin Duffy.
Erin is a previous guest on mypodcast and I'm so excited to
have her join us again.
Hi, Erin, hello, Aideen, sogood to see you.
Yes, it's so good to be here,and let me tell people a little
(00:23):
bit about you.
In that first episode and ifyou haven't listened to that
episode, it's a great episodeWe'll probably be referring to
it.
But I'm going to give youErin's updated bio.
It's two years later, so thingshave evolved for you.
Erin Duffy is an executive stagepresence and career
transformation coach with over30 years experience in creative
(00:45):
agency leadership and theperforming arts.
Through her unique coachingapproach, Erin breaks down the
elements of charisma, personalbrand and stage confidence,
guiding her clients to connectwith their true selves and
project their best selvesoutwardly.
Erin recently co-authored anumber one best-selling book on
Amazon called how to BuildEmpowered Partners.
(01:09):
That's a tricky one, those twoPs how to Build Empowered
Partners to Skyrocket yourVisibility and Income for
Creative Entrepreneurs.
So welcome.
I love you, Erin, and the thingwe have in common is we are
both performers.
We both have journeyed throughour own experience of being on
(01:35):
stage, becoming very self-aware,becoming very present and
learning the elements of helpingothers to develop that, to be
able to project their bestselves into the world.
And when we first spoke, yourmain clients were mid-career
professionals who were havingdoubts about what their value
(01:59):
would be as they moved into thelatter part of their career.
What has changed in terms ofhow your business has evolved
since we spoke about that?
Erin Duffy (02:11):
Great question, Aideen.
What's fascinating is, you know, I still am really focusing in
on many of those mid-careerbusiness professionals and
leaders, but what's evolvedmostly is that, you know, in my
business as you and I both beingperformers there was always
this aspect of executive stagepresence that always there was a
(02:33):
thread of that through all ofmy programs, all my programs
really do start with your storyand owning your story and owning
your voice.
And on the career side, thatwas really important because
when you do hit that mid-career,it is about stepping back and
reclaiming those parts ofyourself that you may have sort
of let go of or, you knowchecked at the door or they're
(02:55):
laying dormant and by you know,sort of opening that back up and
owning that really put thosecareer business professionals on
a very different career road,transformation road.
And what happened over the lastcouple of years is the sort of
executive stage presence pieceof my business started to grow
(03:17):
and that really was birthed kindof funny, out of COVID.
And how that happened, Aideen,was, if you remember, when COVID
happened in March of 2020, allof us were thrust home and we
all had to be behind a cameraand I had many of my
professional friends andcolleagues and clients that were
(03:39):
really disappointed, upset,couldn't wait to go back to the
office.
They hated the camera,especially my sort of leadership
clients and colleagues, theones who had to make deep
efforts to pull their teamstogether and impress them and
encourage them, and they werereally hating doing that on the
(04:03):
camera.
And one of the statements Imade very early on is that, hey,
everybody get used to thecamera, it's never going away.
Covid has just accelerated.
What we all knew was coming andwhat happened in my business is
the people said well, that's allfine and dandy, Erin, but how
do I do that?
How do I feel comfortable andconfident on the camera?
(04:23):
So I started to teach that,pulling a lot from the aspects
of what I was doing in my careertransformation program, to be
honest with you, because it isabout really getting very
comfortable and confident withwho you are and being able to
bring that to the camera.
So I started to teach that and,as COVID started to wane, that
started to blossom into more ofthis executive stage presence,
(04:47):
which is that idea of bringingyour authentic self to every
room you walk into, because tome the stage is every room you
walk into.
And what was happening is I wasfinding people who were stepping
into leadership were beingexpected to just have presence.
They should just be able to,like, get up in front of the
(05:09):
room and feel comfortable andconfident and make an impression
and bring yourself there.
And how many people were veryuncomfortable doing that and
they would do what I think mostof us do they would fake it till
they make it or they wouldsteal their nerves and get
through it and I'm like no, no,no, no, no, no, no.
You need to really learn tounderstand who you are and get
(05:32):
really comfortable and confidentwith who you are and own that
voice and be able to then, inturn, bring that to every room
you walk into.
So great.
Aideen Ni Riada (05:42):
Let me ask you a question, because that's quite
a lot of information you'vegiven us there and yes, and so I
would love to just reflect it alittle bit, because I feel like
what we started with was, youknow, finding that authentic
part of yourself, finding whoyou truly are, so that you could
step into confidence withconfidence, into your career in
(06:03):
general.
Right, and then with the theadvent of you know having to be
on camera, it was like anotherlayer of um, how authentic can I
be on camera?
Because I know myself right,when I started doing videos for
my work, I was like a children'stv presenter.
(06:25):
I was like hi everyone.
So, tv presenter, I was like hieveryone.
So what am I going to do now?
Because there's this, eitheranticipation of I'm being seen
in a certain way.
You're not necessarily relatingto the person at the other side
of the camera, you're kind ofrelating to the camera and the
camera itself creates that deerin headlights feeling.
So just coming back to thatlike this is the crux of the
(06:49):
problem.
For the people that you startedworking with during COVID, it
was like what does that camerado to our nervous system and why
?
Erin Duffy (06:59):
Right, and it's such a great question because that
was the crux of the problem.
People said that camera turnsoff on and I go blank or I just
I stiffen up or I don't feellike myself, I don't recognize
myself and, because it wasalmost foreign, like there's
people behind that camera, Ican't really see them and that
(07:20):
wasn't the biggest complaints Iwould hear.
It's like okay, I'm talking tothis camera, but I don't see
anybody and I feel like I'm notmaking a connection.
And what we end up doing is,when we feel that way, we pull
back, people will pull back andthey will diminish themselves
and what I was teaching and whatI'm very good at is like what I
(07:41):
was teaching and what I'm verygood at is like no, no, no.
You need to look at that cameraas if that camera is a person.
Stop seeing the technology,Stop seeing that little hole and
start seeing who's behind thatcamera.
Whether it's a one-on-one thatyou might be having with a team
(08:02):
person or you are presenting to500 people, you are actually
looking at one person becausewhen you are able to see that
camera as that ideal personyou're trying to reach, so as a
business owner Aideen, you and I, both business owners or as a
business leader.
You know who you're trying toreach behind that camera, and so
what I end up teaching is seethat person.
(08:24):
Who is that person?
See them physically, see them,and one of the things I actually
do with people to get them evencomfortable is one you know
find a picture of somebody thatyou think you're talking to and
put it right above your camera.
Aideen Ni Riada (08:40):
That's a great idea.
Erin Duffy (08:42):
And then just imagine that behind that camera
you are actually just having aone-on-one conversation, even if
it's maybe 500 people.
The reason I say that is wehave a lot more power on camera
than you think we do, becausewhen you can make that
connection across the camera andit's like you're seeing
somebody as if you're justhaving a coffee with them,
(09:04):
everybody whether it's oneperson or 50 or 500 people, they
all think you're talkingdirectly to them because you're
looking them in the eye.
Aideen Ni Riada (09:13):
But it's also something to do with that
feeling within your own bodywhen we communicate from the
heart.
It's like I noticed thisrecently.
I was doing a presentation and,because of the way I had set it
up, I could not see any of thecomments.
And I couldn't see I had someof these slides or whatever, and
about halfway through I startedto think I can't see any
(09:35):
comments, that means nobody'sthere or they've all, they've
all gone to get a cup of tea andand I started to doubt myself,
I started to doubt that therewas anyone even listening.
Of course, when I went back inand I could see that there was
quite a bit of engagement, youknow, I was so relieved but I
kind of had to talk myself downfrom that self-doubt of nobody's
(09:55):
really listening.
And still, even with that doubtand with that feeling of
there's nothing at the other endof this, I had still had to
bring what was my kind of heart.
When I think that when we'respeaking to someone there beside
us, you can feel their energy,Like I feel, like you can.
You know we, when we walk intoa room and we and someone's had
(10:17):
an argument, you can feel thatenergy.
When someone's happy to see you, we can feel that energy, but
we don't feel that energy quiteas easily when it's through the
technology.
You have to really try to feelit, you have to kind of, you
know, first of all get over yourown insecurities around your
own voice and whether you'rebeing seen or not, and then
(10:38):
sometimes you can tell.
Erin Duffy (10:40):
Absolutely.
I mean, you hit it right on thenose.
We each have to own that forourselves.
We each have to bring our fullself to that camera.
We need to create a 3D world inthis 2D world and that's us
being present on camera thing.
(11:00):
When we take the lead and Iteach this to all my leaders and
I'm teaching it specificallyany business professional that's
a rising leader or starting abusiness you need to be the
voice of your business, of yourteam, of whatever it is for you,
and you need to be always showup as that leader.
And the way you do that oncamera is that you are fully
(11:24):
present.
And so you are looking at thatcamera and you are as if you are
creating the fact that thesepeople are sitting right in
front of you.
And when and here's theinteresting thing, Aideen when
you do that, it's amazing whathappens to people on the other
side of the camera.
Because they feel your energy,they start to be more energized,
(11:45):
they start to lean in more,they start to sit up a little
bit more, because they feel like, okay, she's there, she's
present, she's listening to me,she knows I'm here, you're
building awareness as if you arein a room.
So us as leaders, if we becomeexamples of that, we are
teaching others to do the same,so we have to create it for
(12:09):
ourselves.
So I would say, be the leaderthat creates a 3D world in this
2D world that we live in.
And you can do that just bythese simple things.
And here's the thing I had aclient of mine a couple of years
ago who we were doing the fullstage presence program, so it
was in person and camera.
Camera was big for him becausehe had a team that was overseas
(12:33):
and he had to meet with them atleast once a week.
And his team.
They were quiet and you knowthey worked hard, but they
tended to be pretty passive inthese meetings.
And you know, they worked hard,but they tended to be pretty
passive in these meetings.
He was the leader in themeeting but they would sit down
and they would just write theirnotes and they would, you know,
nod and whatever.
There wasn't a lot ofengagement.
And so we started teaching this,like when you're in those calls
(12:56):
, look at the camera and talk tothem rather than looking at the
little squares.
Look at your camera and seewhat happens.
Just start practicing this.
No joke, he had a meeting andhe called me.
He says Erin, I'm so sorry tobother you, but I had to call
you because I just got off myteam meeting and something
(13:18):
strange happened.
And I'm like what happened?
He goes, my leader on that team, who tends to be very quiet,
doesn't say anything, alwayslooks down.
For the first time she sat up,she looked at the camera, was
smiled I hadn't seen her smilein years and she was talking Wow
(13:40):
, and he goes.
And it's because I looked inthe camera and I acknowledged my
people and I'm like it's thesimple little things and think
about how simple that is.
But in this day and I'm notkidding back, I know five years
ago I said to everybody get usedto the camera, it's never going
away, even now that we're allgoing back and people are
working in offices and stuff.
(14:01):
We are living in a hybridpresence to the camera and we be
that leader in that space andmake that difference to the
people on the other side,because you will make that
(14:22):
difference for those people, youwill transform other people.
Aideen Ni Riada (14:26):
What happens if you're in a meeting where maybe
you know you're not the tophoncho?
Maybe your boss is there,you're there, your team is there
.
Can we influence the dynamicsin a meeting like that on camera
, even if we're kind of one ofthe people in between or maybe
we're one of the people thatwe're just at the meeting?
(14:47):
Can we interact in a way thatwill improve that connection?
Erin Duffy (14:52):
Absolutely so.
Here's the thing is that nomatter where you are on the
ladder right, your presence isimportant.
So even if, let's say, I justhave to participate in this
meeting today, I'm not reallysupposed to say a whole lot, but
I really need to listen andtake notes and acknowledge
(15:12):
whatever you have to do, but I'mnot supposed to be leading the
meeting.
Please don't, like, turn yourcamera on and just sit back and
just kind of do this and likeand, by the way, we've all seen
this.
So I'm giving you examples ofmeetings where you could tell
people are multi, multitaskingand they're somewhat checked out
.
Here's the thing the camerashows everything.
(15:36):
So you may think you can sitback in that meeting, but if
you're trying to rise up theladder and get noticed but
you're not supposed to be youknow, engaging in this meeting
you're supposed to be listening,what have you?
Those people, those leaders,are watching you.
They're taking notes.
So, even if you're in a meeting, make sure you're sitting up
(15:59):
and you're listening and you'rewatching and you're nodding and
you're taking notes and you'reengaged, because we're in this
small little rectangular box andeverything is noticed.
But your leaders are takingnote of the people who are
paying attention and the peoplewho aren't.
Aideen Ni Riada (16:16):
And they appreciate that attention.
As your client testifies, thatsmile meant the world to him.
Erin Duffy (16:22):
Meant the world to him, Absolutely Like.
It's hard to present, right, soit is, and it's like.
But if you can, and again, asleaders, it is up to us, like I
was saying earlier, it is up tous to bring our presence to that
camera, to that room every timeand make sure we're engaging
(16:43):
with our people, but also us whoare watching our leaders.
It's also important for ussaying oh yeah, this meeting's
coming up, I have an hour forthis meeting.
I need to be fully present inthis meeting.
I need to make sure I am takingthe notes and I'm nodding and
I'm smiling or whatever.
But and I'm not talking aboutfake smiling, I'm talking about
(17:04):
you're fully engaged in thatmeeting and you are smiling
because you get their point, youknow whatever it is, because,
again, they're taking note ofthat.
But also, if we're going tomeetings, why are we not a
hundred percent present?
Why are we multitasking If youhave a meeting?
Because here's the thing if youwere in a conference room, if
(17:25):
you were sitting in a conferenceroom you can't quite get away
with, oh, let me check my phoneright now to see if, like you
know, anything's going on inFacebook.
Like you, you couldn't get awaywith that Right Cause people
would notice that.
Bring that same level ofpresence to this virtual room.
It will make a whole differencefor you in your career and
(17:48):
especially if you're a risingleader, this is imperative for
you, Absolutely a rising leader.
Aideen Ni Riada (17:55):
This is imperative for you, absolutely.
I have this theory.
You know, especially nowadays,with so much going on in the
world that we do not want to seea lot of you know strife and
discord and conflict, that youknow regular ordinary people
need to find ways to feelconfident enough to speak out,
and in that way, I feel likewe're being called to be a
(18:17):
leader in conversations, aleader amongst our friends, a
leader with our own smallbusiness.
And do you have any tips forsomebody who maybe isn't
speaking up in situations?
Because I know that in thebusiness world, yes, there's,
there are the KPIs there's.
(18:37):
You know we have to do thisbecause of the bottom line, for,
you know, money, but there areother instances where there is
high stakes.
There is high stakes, you know,when someone is maybe a
vulnerable person and you wantto defend them.
Now, I know that this isn'tquite your area that you work in
, but I bet you would have somegreat advice around this topic
(18:59):
too, if you don't mind touchingon it a little.
Erin Duffy (19:03):
Well, I think you know one of the things
especially when I'm working withyou know my I have one of the
areas that I really focus in onis the presence, is the
executive presence in career,and what I mean by that is I
have a lot of people who arethose rising leaders and they
(19:23):
see that they know where theywant their career to go, but
also see the piece that'smissing is their presence, that
they don't feel as comfortablein their voice.
They don't feel as comfortable,you know, to step up and say
what they want to say and theyknow that may be what's holding
them back from rising up.
So that is a really good areafor me, because a lot that's
(19:44):
that mix of that career and thatyou know executive belief.
Absolutely, and that's what itcomes down to.
And so one of the things isreally getting in touch with
really what's important to you,truly understanding what you
stand for, what you value, whatis most important to you,
(20:05):
understanding you first, beforeyour company, before your
organization, really gettingclear on what you stand for and
becoming very comfortable withthat.
Sometimes we lose sight withthat, so that, to me, is one of
those key things that I believeis very important, especially as
we are climbing up that ladderand being expected to show up.
(20:28):
You kind of want to show up inwho you are.
It's your turn to really stepup and be 100% yourself, rather
than comparing yourself tosomebody else.
You want to be you, and that,by the way, is what your company
wants.
So they do are fully looking foryou to be fully present and
then really taking those momentsof if you're wondering about
(20:50):
something or you're questioningsomething is, using that voice
to then talk to your reportedmanager, whoever.
That is right.
Really, don't go above, unlessin some situations that is
called for, but in theconversation we're having it's
not.
It's really.
When can you learn to startusing your voice in a leadership
(21:12):
way?
Start with that layer, thatnext layer, which is your
manager, is your boss, and ifthere's something that you're
passionate about or somethingthat you know you're not feeling
so good about, test thatconversation out with them.
Start to practice that voice ofyours, that leadership voice of
(21:33):
yours, with your manager.
Aideen Ni Riada (21:35):
Can you give an example of what kind of topics
people need to bring?
Erin Duffy (21:39):
Well, I think you know a perfect example.
I have a client of mine who wasvery interested in an
initiative at her company thatwas really, really underserved
and it was an area for her thatshe not only she was very
passionate about, but she had alot of experience in and it was
being sort of neglected Mm-hmm.
(22:01):
And so she was able to puttogether sort of a plan.
It wasn't a full blown planLike it was like a high level
strategic plan about how shewould go about this and why it
was important and what the stepswould be.
She put that together and thenshe set up and, by the way, she
(22:21):
set up a meeting with hermanager.
It wasn't like doing it, itwasn't her one-on-one.
She decided she made it.
I want to talk to you about Xand she set up a meeting, a
separate meeting, with him, andthen they had this meeting.
She ran that meeting.
She was prepared for thatmeeting and the wonderful thing
about that was when he heard itwas impressed with the fact that
(22:47):
she took her own initiative todo this.
It wasn't like somebody askedher to.
She saw the problem, saw thesolution, had a passion for it,
and then just you know what itwas.
She led it, even though she's asubordinate, right, I mean,
she's like you know.
She, by the way, she alreadyhad a full-time job, like it
wasn't like she had thebandwidth, but she was able to
(23:07):
carve out.
She even figured out how muchtime she could carve out of her
time to actually deal with thisinitiative and she presented it
well.
He thought it was great.
He had actually rose it up tothe next level and they said,
yeah, let's go for it, let'sgive it a three-month trial, but
what it takes there, Aideen,it's really that one.
She did that work onunderstanding what mattered to
(23:31):
her most, what her purpose was,why she is at this company, what
she values the most.
And here was the thing.
There was a really good chancethat they would have said you
know what, no, we don't believein this, forget it.
Great idea, but no.
And it would have given her alittle bit more insight too
about her career, like, hmm, isthis a place I want to be at?
Aideen Ni Riada (23:55):
Yes, how much do I want to invest if this is
what they are?
You know, focuses.
Erin Duffy (24:01):
Yeah and see, so she owned that.
And I always tell people youneed to own your career.
No company owns your career.
You get to define, especiallyas you're rising up now, as
you're a mid-career and you'rerising up in leadership.
You get to figure out what,what you align with, what's
important to you, what you valuethe most, where you want to
(24:22):
make a difference.
And when you get a clearpicture of that, it makes those
next step much easier.
Because you're leading itNobody, they're not.
Clear picture of that it makesthose next step much easier.
Because you're leading itNobody, they're not.
They're not driving it.
You are.
Aideen Ni Riada (24:32):
So what I'm hearing here is that leadership,
because here's the thing I,when I think of leadership, I
think of the person in charge,right, but what you're saying is
leadership is basically takinginitiative on something that
matters to you.
Erin Duffy (24:45):
Absolutely.
Yeah, I mean, you know what Ilove?
We're all leaders.
Every single person is a leader.
You get to show up as a leaderin your career every single day.
And, by the way, just so youknow you can be a leader, people
think leader means you have tomanage people, and that is so
(25:05):
not true.
And it's amazing how manyclients I've worked with who
think, well, I need to bemanaged people in order for
someday to be a leader.
I'm like.
And then you look at thisperson's career throughout every
single stage of her career, shehas been a leader.
I mean, she led this initiative, she took over that she did,
but she never saw herself as aleader because she wasn't
(25:27):
managing people.
Okay, and.
I'm like, uh-uh, you are a true.
Look at all these incredibleleadership qualities you have.
She never saw them asleadership qualities, didn't
understand it, because thedefinition in many of our minds
is well, I don't manage people,so I'm not a leader.
No, you are a leader, and whenwe are able to own that, when we
(25:48):
are able to own, I'm a leaderof my career.
It makes such a differencebecause it puts you in the
driver's seat.
You are in control, notsomebody else.
Aideen Ni Riada (26:00):
And in essence we each are kind of living out
our lives as if we are theleading lady of our lives.
There you go so we got to stepinto that a little more.
Erin Duffy (26:10):
Yes, yes, You're right.
You know and it's interesting,Adia, I love that you said
leading lady because you and I,both being performers, you know
we remember throughout ourtheater career and as a singing
career.
You know, when you look at thestepping stones that we both did
and in becoming a leading lady,that was us doing that.
(26:32):
When you think about it, likeno one was taking care of that
for me and you're probably thesame way, it was like we were
choosing the opportunities thatgave us the possibility of
finally one day being theleading lady in a show.
You know, our careers are thesame way.
You get to define your careerand the type of career you want
(26:53):
to have by showing up as aleader in your career, for sure.
Aideen Ni Riada (26:58):
It's so interesting.
I love the idea that it's aboutinitiating or, you know, just
taking those opportunities.
Sometimes it's not even thatyou've come up with something
brand new.
It's about being able to say,hands up, that's something I
would like to do at a meeting.
And you find your clientssometimes have difficulty being
completely, kind of maybeconfident in saying that
(27:21):
sometimes too.
Erin Duffy (27:22):
Oh, absolutely yeah.
I mean people like well, Idon't know if I'm the right
person for it.
Oh, absolutely yeah.
I mean people like well, Idon't know if I'm the right
person for it.
And it's like well, the firstquestion he has is well, what
evidence shows that you're notthe right person?
And it's interesting, there'susually no evidence.
It's the mind games we playourselves.
Why don't I have the experience?
I haven't done enough, Ihaven't been here long enough.
(27:43):
There's these things that go onour mind that we kind of put
there ourselves.
But when you're able to look atsomething, if you're excited
about it and you have incrediblepassion about it and you really
want to do it, there'sabsolutely no reason why you
can't ask for it.
But it's understanding that andcoming from that lens.
Coming from that lens like whatabout?
(28:06):
This excites you, and when youget that man, it arms you with
this level of courage andexcitement that, by the way,
every company wants to see.
They really do.
They want somebody who's goingto take an initiative and be
excited about it and pull theright people together.
They're looking for that kindof leadership.
(28:28):
That's what they want.
So sometimes it's just a matterof just kind of getting out of
our own way, and sometimes it isthe little voices in our head
that tell us well, you're notthe right person.
Aideen Ni Riada (28:42):
I've heard some interesting research that said
that there is a differencebetween men and women, that
women will apply for a new rolethat they feel a hundred percent
qualified for, whereas a manwill apply for a new role if
he's 60% qualified.
Erin Duffy (28:56):
Absolutely.
Yep, so you've noticed that withclients that apps and it's a
true, that's an actual, truestatistic.
It's very interesting.
And, by the way, 18, I wouldsay I, if you were talking me in
the two thousands, I would havetwo thousands in the 2010s.
I would have said the samething.
I went oh well, I, oh shoot,I'd love to do that job, oh, but
(29:17):
I don't have this.
And right away you're like Ican't do the job.
Where and so many most women Iknow would tell you the same
thing there's that idea ofperfection that we're not good
enough, kind of thing, and it'slike no, no, no, no.
And that's why I always talk tomy clients about those ideas of
your transferable skills.
That's one of those big piecestoo.
(29:38):
When you're at that mid-careerand you've had all this
experience and you're ready tostep into that next amazing
phase, it's really looking atall of your experiences, your
wisdom, your skills and seeinghow much of it's transferable.
That's the most important piece, because many things can be
(29:58):
taught, many things can betaught.
But those skills that you have,a lot of that emotional
intelligence sort of skills thatyou have, that wisdom skills
that you have a lot of thatemotional intelligence sort of
skills that you have, thatwisdom, that stuff is gold, and
when we can own that and walkinto a room and say I want this,
(30:20):
I want this job, I'm the rightperson for this job and bring
that.
This is why I'm the right personfor the job.
I may not have these two thingsover here, but oh, I know I can
learn these, because look at myresume or look at my experience
.
I've shown time and time againthat I have learned very quickly
throughout my entire career.
This is why our history is soimportant.
This is why our story is soimportant and it's really about
(30:43):
we need to own it first andreally believe it and be
comfortable with it before westart expressing it out.
Because we have to believe itfirst without just oh, I can do
that kind of thing.
But when you truly believe it,you show up with a very
different voice, a moreconfident voice, a more excited
voice, and that's what companiesare looking for.
Aideen Ni Riada (31:05):
And it sounds like what you do as well, as you
help people review wherethey've been, because I know,
when we just think of who we aretoday, if you're in a job that
you're not enjoying, that you'renot really expressing all of
your capabilities in, it'salmost like you forget that.
But I was, like, hugelysuccessful at this and I was
more fulfilled at this.
Hugely successful at this and Iwas more fulfilled at this.
(31:29):
So finding that point of whatmakes you excited and what makes
you kind of what's firing youback up again, and combining
that with all of that evidencemust create like a completely
different energy for yourclients once they start stepping
out again.
Erin Duffy (31:40):
Oh, absolutely, it makes all the difference.
That's what I call the innergame Like we do the inner game
work first, because when you'reable to tap back into all those
things that excite you, thosestories that really have you
know, kind of like uniquelycarved out this amazing statue
of who you are and there'snobody else like you and that's
(32:01):
the thing I've used this line inmy business since the day I
started it when we show up ahundred percent our authentic
self, we have no competition.
And by doing that inner gamework, understanding what excites
you, understanding your valuesat a at a level that is so deep
that nobody, nobody can comparethemselves to you, and then you
(32:25):
really own those stories thatgot you to where you are.
That's what catapults you tothat next level, because you're
walking in the door with thislevel of confidence and comfort
and belief in who you are andthat there's nobody else like
you out there.
And there's a big differencewhen we're no longer comparing
ourselves to others Because,gosh, we spend our 20s and 30s
(32:48):
and probably most of our 40scomparing ourselves.
Not good enough, all that kindof stuff.
What if you were able to ridyourself of that and no longer
were you comparing, but you wereactually celebrating.
You're able to celebrate otherpeople and excited for their
success, because you know you'reexcited about your own and you
(33:11):
know you're exactly where youwant to go.
You know, and that's why thatinner game piece is so important
, because that really does setyou free.
Aideen Ni Riada (33:20):
I love this, so we just need to start
celebrating ourselves a littlemore.
Erin Duffy (33:23):
Exactly, break out the champagne.
Aideen Ni Riada (33:27):
We are going to wind things up now, in a few
minutes, but, Erin, is thereanything that you'd like to say,
any final words of wisdom thatyou think maybe you might've
wanted to mention earlier, butyou didn't get a chance.
Erin Duffy (33:39):
Well, I don't know.
We have had such a greatconversation, which you and I
always do, so thank you so muchfor this.
But, like I was, like I wassaying earlier, you know, this
is the time to really step in towho you are and really own your
presence and bring that to theroom, because not only are you
making a difference for yourself, but you literally are making a
(34:01):
difference for everybody inthat room.
And as leaders today, one ofthe biggest thing that we all
want to do as a leader is sortof make a difference and affect
leaders of tomorrow, and by usbringing our presence to the
room and being fully confidentin who we are, you are making a
(34:22):
difference in those youngleaders of tomorrow.
So that's what I would like tosay.
Aideen Ni Riada (34:29):
Yeah, beautiful , it's like an inspiration and I
think you know even there'seven that micro benefit of you
have a better meeting.
You get to feel better aboutyourself that day.
So there are so many layers towhy you might might choose to
(34:50):
just put a little more of youinto a situation, maybe a little
more effort and I think thisinner game part is something
that if you haven't done that,if you haven't reviewed your
skills and all the things you'vedone, if you haven't truly
celebrated your successes, thatmight be the thing that will
bring you to that point where,internally, it feels safe to
(35:14):
step out and to look directly inthe camera and to make more of
you stand out in your workplace.
Erin Duffy (35:21):
Yes, absolutely Love that oh it's been so much fun.
Aideen Ni Riada (35:25):
Thank you so much, much.
Thank you, Erin.
So Erin has a new book out sheco-authored um.
It's called how to buildempowered partners to skyrocket
your visibility and income forcreative entrepreneurs.
She also has an awesomenewsletter where she sends out
stage presence and confidenceand leadership tips that I
receive and I find veryinteresting.
(35:46):
So we are going to put some ofthose details with the show
notes and I encourage you all tofollow Erin and to let her
inspiration inspire you to alsostep into your own power in your
work and in your life.
Thank you so much, Erin, forbeing here today.
Erin Duffy (36:03):
Thank you, Aideen, it was a pleasure.
Welcome to the Resonate podcast with Aideen.
I'm Aideen Ni Riada, and myguest today is Erin Duffy.
Erin is a previous guest on mypodcast and I'm so excited to
have her join us again.
Hi, Erin, hello, Aideen, sogood to see you.
Yes, it's so good to be here,and let me tell people a little
(00:23):
bit about you.
In that first episode and ifyou haven't listened to that
episode, it's a great episodeWe'll probably be referring to
it.
But I'm going to give youErin's updated bio.
It's two years later, so thingshave evolved for you.
Erin Duffy is an executive stagepresence and career
transformation coach with over30 years experience in creative
(00:45):
agency leadership and theperforming arts.
Through her unique coachingapproach, Erin breaks down the
elements of charisma, personalbrand and stage confidence,
guiding her clients to connectwith their true selves and
project their best selvesoutwardly.
Erin recently co-authored anumber one best-selling book on
Amazon called how to BuildEmpowered Partners.
(01:09):
That's a tricky one, those twoPs how to Build Empowered
Partners to Skyrocket yourVisibility and Income for
Creative Entrepreneurs.
So welcome.
I love you, Erin, and the thingwe have in common is we are
both performers.
We both have journeyed throughour own experience of being on
(01:35):
stage, becoming very self-aware,becoming very present and
learning the elements of helpingothers to develop that, to be
able to project their bestselves into the world.
And when we first spoke, yourmain clients were mid-career
professionals who were havingdoubts about what their value
(01:59):
would be as they moved into thelatter part of their career.
What has changed in terms ofhow your business has evolved
since we spoke about that?
Erin Duffy (02:11):
Great question, Aideen.
What's fascinating is, you know, I still am really focusing in
on many of those mid-careerbusiness professionals and
leaders, but what's evolvedmostly is that, you know, in my
business as you and I both beingperformers there was always
this aspect of executive stagepresence that always there was a
(02:33):
thread of that through all ofmy programs, all my programs
really do start with your storyand owning your story and owning
your voice.
And on the career side, thatwas really important because
when you do hit that mid-career,it is about stepping back and
reclaiming those parts ofyourself that you may have sort
of let go of or, you knowchecked at the door or they're
(02:55):
laying dormant and by you know,sort of opening that back up and
owning that really put thosecareer business professionals on
a very different career road,transformation road.
And what happened over the lastcouple of years is the sort of
executive stage presence pieceof my business started to grow
(03:17):
and that really was birthed kindof funny, out of COVID.
And how that happened, Aideen,was, if you remember, when COVID
happened in March of 2020, allof us were thrust home and we
all had to be behind a cameraand I had many of my
professional friends andcolleagues and clients that were
(03:39):
really disappointed, upset,couldn't wait to go back to the
office.
They hated the camera,especially my sort of leadership
clients and colleagues, theones who had to make deep
efforts to pull their teamstogether and impress them and
encourage them, and they werereally hating doing that on the
(04:03):
camera.
And one of the statements Imade very early on is that, hey,
everybody get used to thecamera, it's never going away.
Covid has just accelerated.
What we all knew was coming andwhat happened in my business is
the people said well, that's allfine and dandy, Erin, but how
do I do that?
How do I feel comfortable andconfident on the camera?
(04:23):
So I started to teach that,pulling a lot from the aspects
of what I was doing in my careertransformation program, to be
honest with you, because it isabout really getting very
comfortable and confident withwho you are and being able to
bring that to the camera.
So I started to teach that and,as COVID started to wane, that
started to blossom into more ofthis executive stage presence,
(04:47):
which is that idea of bringingyour authentic self to every
room you walk into, because tome the stage is every room you
walk into.
And what was happening is I wasfinding people who were stepping
into leadership were beingexpected to just have presence.
They should just be able to,like, get up in front of the
(05:09):
room and feel comfortable andconfident and make an impression
and bring yourself there.
And how many people were veryuncomfortable doing that and
they would do what I think mostof us do they would fake it till
they make it or they wouldsteal their nerves and get
through it and I'm like no, no,no, no, no, no, no.
You need to really learn tounderstand who you are and get
(05:32):
really comfortable and confidentwith who you are and own that
voice and be able to then, inturn, bring that to every room
you walk into.
So great.
Aideen Ni Riada (05:42):
Let me ask you a question, because that's quite
a lot of information you'vegiven us there and yes, and so I
would love to just reflect it alittle bit, because I feel like
what we started with was, youknow, finding that authentic
part of yourself, finding whoyou truly are, so that you could
step into confidence withconfidence, into your career in
(06:03):
general.
Right, and then with the theadvent of you know having to be
on camera, it was like anotherlayer of um, how authentic can I
be on camera?
Because I know myself right,when I started doing videos for
my work, I was like a children'stv presenter.
(06:25):
I was like hi everyone.
So, tv presenter, I was like hieveryone.
So what am I going to do now?
Because there's this, eitheranticipation of I'm being seen
in a certain way.
You're not necessarily relatingto the person at the other side
of the camera, you're kind ofrelating to the camera and the
camera itself creates that deerin headlights feeling.
So just coming back to thatlike this is the crux of the
(06:49):
problem.
For the people that you startedworking with during COVID, it
was like what does that camerado to our nervous system and why
?
Erin Duffy (06:59):
Right, and it's such a great question because that
was the crux of the problem.
People said that camera turnsoff on and I go blank or I just
I stiffen up or I don't feellike myself, I don't recognize
myself and, because it wasalmost foreign, like there's
people behind that camera, Ican't really see them and that
(07:20):
wasn't the biggest complaints Iwould hear.
It's like okay, I'm talking tothis camera, but I don't see
anybody and I feel like I'm notmaking a connection.
And what we end up doing is,when we feel that way, we pull
back, people will pull back andthey will diminish themselves
and what I was teaching and whatI'm very good at is like what I
(07:41):
was teaching and what I'm verygood at is like no, no, no.
You need to look at that cameraas if that camera is a person.
Stop seeing the technology,Stop seeing that little hole and
start seeing who's behind thatcamera.
Whether it's a one-on-one thatyou might be having with a team
(08:02):
person or you are presenting to500 people, you are actually
looking at one person becausewhen you are able to see that
camera as that ideal personyou're trying to reach, so as a
business owner Aideen, you and I, both business owners or as a
business leader.
You know who you're trying toreach behind that camera, and so
what I end up teaching is seethat person.
(08:24):
Who is that person?
See them physically, see them,and one of the things I actually
do with people to get them evencomfortable is one you know
find a picture of somebody thatyou think you're talking to and
put it right above your camera.
Aideen Ni Riada (08:40):
That's a great idea.
Erin Duffy (08:42):
And then just imagine that behind that camera
you are actually just having aone-on-one conversation, even if
it's maybe 500 people.
The reason I say that is wehave a lot more power on camera
than you think we do, becausewhen you can make that
connection across the camera andit's like you're seeing
somebody as if you're justhaving a coffee with them,
(09:04):
everybody whether it's oneperson or 50 or 500 people, they
all think you're talkingdirectly to them because you're
looking them in the eye.
Aideen Ni Riada (09:13):
But it's also something to do with that
feeling within your own bodywhen we communicate from the
heart.
It's like I noticed thisrecently.
I was doing a presentation and,because of the way I had set it
up, I could not see any of thecomments.
And I couldn't see I had someof these slides or whatever, and
about halfway through I startedto think I can't see any
(09:35):
comments, that means nobody'sthere or they've all, they've
all gone to get a cup of tea andand I started to doubt myself,
I started to doubt that therewas anyone even listening.
Of course, when I went back inand I could see that there was
quite a bit of engagement, youknow, I was so relieved but I
kind of had to talk myself downfrom that self-doubt of nobody's
(09:55):
really listening.
And still, even with that doubtand with that feeling of
there's nothing at the other endof this, I had still had to
bring what was my kind of heart.
When I think that when we'respeaking to someone there beside
us, you can feel their energy,Like I feel, like you can.
You know we, when we walk intoa room and we and someone's had
(10:17):
an argument, you can feel thatenergy.
When someone's happy to see you, we can feel that energy, but
we don't feel that energy quiteas easily when it's through the
technology.
You have to really try to feelit, you have to kind of, you
know, first of all get over yourown insecurities around your
own voice and whether you'rebeing seen or not, and then
(10:38):
sometimes you can tell.
Erin Duffy (10:40):
Absolutely.
I mean, you hit it right on thenose.
We each have to own that forourselves.
We each have to bring our fullself to that camera.
We need to create a 3D world inthis 2D world and that's us
being present on camera thing.
(11:00):
When we take the lead and Iteach this to all my leaders and
I'm teaching it specificallyany business professional that's
a rising leader or starting abusiness you need to be the
voice of your business, of yourteam, of whatever it is for you,
and you need to be always showup as that leader.
And the way you do that oncamera is that you are fully
(11:24):
present.
And so you are looking at thatcamera and you are as if you are
creating the fact that thesepeople are sitting right in
front of you.
And when and here's theinteresting thing, Aideen when
you do that, it's amazing whathappens to people on the other
side of the camera.
Because they feel your energy,they start to be more energized,
(11:45):
they start to lean in more,they start to sit up a little
bit more, because they feel like, okay, she's there, she's
present, she's listening to me,she knows I'm here, you're
building awareness as if you arein a room.
So us as leaders, if we becomeexamples of that, we are
teaching others to do the same,so we have to create it for
(12:09):
ourselves.
So I would say, be the leaderthat creates a 3D world in this
2D world that we live in.
And you can do that just bythese simple things.
And here's the thing I had aclient of mine a couple of years
ago who we were doing the fullstage presence program, so it
was in person and camera.
Camera was big for him becausehe had a team that was overseas
(12:33):
and he had to meet with them atleast once a week.
And his team.
They were quiet and you knowthey worked hard, but they
tended to be pretty passive inthese meetings.
And you know, they worked hard,but they tended to be pretty
passive in these meetings.
He was the leader in themeeting but they would sit down
and they would just write theirnotes and they would, you know,
nod and whatever.
There wasn't a lot ofengagement.
And so we started teaching this,like when you're in those calls
(12:56):
, look at the camera and talk tothem rather than looking at the
little squares.
Look at your camera and seewhat happens.
Just start practicing this.
No joke, he had a meeting andhe called me.
He says Erin, I'm so sorry tobother you, but I had to call
you because I just got off myteam meeting and something
(13:18):
strange happened.
And I'm like what happened?
He goes, my leader on that team, who tends to be very quiet,
doesn't say anything, alwayslooks down.
For the first time she sat up,she looked at the camera, was
smiled I hadn't seen her smilein years and she was talking Wow
(13:40):
, and he goes.
And it's because I looked inthe camera and I acknowledged my
people and I'm like it's thesimple little things and think
about how simple that is.
But in this day and I'm notkidding back, I know five years
ago I said to everybody get usedto the camera, it's never going
away, even now that we're allgoing back and people are
working in offices and stuff.
(14:01):
We are living in a hybridpresence to the camera and we be
that leader in that space andmake that difference to the
people on the other side,because you will make that
(14:22):
difference for those people, youwill transform other people.
Aideen Ni Riada (14:26):
What happens if you're in a meeting where maybe
you know you're not the tophoncho?
Maybe your boss is there,you're there, your team is there
.
Can we influence the dynamicsin a meeting like that on camera
, even if we're kind of one ofthe people in between or maybe
we're one of the people thatwe're just at the meeting?
(14:47):
Can we interact in a way thatwill improve that connection?
Erin Duffy (14:52):
Absolutely so.
Here's the thing is that nomatter where you are on the
ladder right, your presence isimportant.
So even if, let's say, I justhave to participate in this
meeting today, I'm not reallysupposed to say a whole lot, but
I really need to listen andtake notes and acknowledge
(15:12):
whatever you have to do, but I'mnot supposed to be leading the
meeting.
Please don't, like, turn yourcamera on and just sit back and
just kind of do this and likeand, by the way, we've all seen
this.
So I'm giving you examples ofmeetings where you could tell
people are multi, multitaskingand they're somewhat checked out
.
Here's the thing the camerashows everything.
(15:36):
So you may think you can sitback in that meeting, but if
you're trying to rise up theladder and get noticed but
you're not supposed to be youknow, engaging in this meeting
you're supposed to be listening,what have you?
Those people, those leaders,are watching you.
They're taking notes.
So, even if you're in a meeting, make sure you're sitting up
(15:59):
and you're listening and you'rewatching and you're nodding and
you're taking notes and you'reengaged, because we're in this
small little rectangular box andeverything is noticed.
But your leaders are takingnote of the people who are
paying attention and the peoplewho aren't.
Aideen Ni Riada (16:16):
And they appreciate that attention.
As your client testifies, thatsmile meant the world to him.
Erin Duffy (16:22):
Meant the world to him, Absolutely Like.
It's hard to present, right, soit is, and it's like.
But if you can, and again, asleaders, it is up to us, like I
was saying earlier, it is up tous to bring our presence to that
camera, to that room every timeand make sure we're engaging
(16:43):
with our people, but also us whoare watching our leaders.
It's also important for ussaying oh yeah, this meeting's
coming up, I have an hour forthis meeting.
I need to be fully present inthis meeting.
I need to make sure I am takingthe notes and I'm nodding and
I'm smiling or whatever.
But and I'm not talking aboutfake smiling, I'm talking about
(17:04):
you're fully engaged in thatmeeting and you are smiling
because you get their point, youknow whatever it is, because,
again, they're taking note ofthat.
But also, if we're going tomeetings, why are we not a
hundred percent present?
Why are we multitasking If youhave a meeting?
Because here's the thing if youwere in a conference room, if
(17:25):
you were sitting in a conferenceroom you can't quite get away
with, oh, let me check my phoneright now to see if, like you
know, anything's going on inFacebook.
Like you, you couldn't get awaywith that Right Cause people
would notice that.
Bring that same level ofpresence to this virtual room.
It will make a whole differencefor you in your career and
(17:48):
especially if you're a risingleader, this is imperative for
you, Absolutely a rising leader.
Aideen Ni Riada (17:55):
This is imperative for you, absolutely.
I have this theory.
You know, especially nowadays,with so much going on in the
world that we do not want to seea lot of you know strife and
discord and conflict, that youknow regular ordinary people
need to find ways to feelconfident enough to speak out,
and in that way, I feel likewe're being called to be a
(18:17):
leader in conversations, aleader amongst our friends, a
leader with our own smallbusiness.
And do you have any tips forsomebody who maybe isn't
speaking up in situations?
Because I know that in thebusiness world, yes, there's,
there are the KPIs there's.
(18:37):
You know we have to do thisbecause of the bottom line, for,
you know, money, but there areother instances where there is
high stakes.
There is high stakes, you know,when someone is maybe a
vulnerable person and you wantto defend them.
Now, I know that this isn'tquite your area that you work in
, but I bet you would have somegreat advice around this topic
(18:59):
too, if you don't mind touchingon it a little.
Erin Duffy (19:03):
Well, I think you know one of the things
especially when I'm working withyou know my I have one of the
areas that I really focus in onis the presence, is the
executive presence in career,and what I mean by that is I
have a lot of people who arethose rising leaders and they
(19:23):
see that they know where theywant their career to go, but
also see the piece that'smissing is their presence, that
they don't feel as comfortablein their voice.
They don't feel as comfortable,you know, to step up and say
what they want to say and theyknow that may be what's holding
them back from rising up.
So that is a really good areafor me, because a lot that's
(19:44):
that mix of that career and thatyou know executive belief.
Absolutely, and that's what itcomes down to.
And so one of the things isreally getting in touch with
really what's important to you,truly understanding what you
stand for, what you value, whatis most important to you,
(20:05):
understanding you first, beforeyour company, before your
organization, really gettingclear on what you stand for and
becoming very comfortable withthat.
Sometimes we lose sight withthat, so that, to me, is one of
those key things that I believeis very important, especially as
we are climbing up that ladderand being expected to show up.
(20:28):
You kind of want to show up inwho you are.
It's your turn to really stepup and be 100% yourself, rather
than comparing yourself tosomebody else.
You want to be you, and that,by the way, is what your company
wants.
So they do are fully looking foryou to be fully present and
then really taking those momentsof if you're wondering about
(20:50):
something or you're questioningsomething is, using that voice
to then talk to your reportedmanager, whoever.
That is right.
Really, don't go above, unlessin some situations that is
called for, but in theconversation we're having it's
not.
It's really.
When can you learn to startusing your voice in a leadership
(21:12):
way?
Start with that layer, thatnext layer, which is your
manager, is your boss, and ifthere's something that you're
passionate about or somethingthat you know you're not feeling
so good about, test thatconversation out with them.
Start to practice that voice ofyours, that leadership voice of
(21:33):
yours, with your manager.
Aideen Ni Riada (21:35):
Can you give an example of what kind of topics
people need to bring?
Erin Duffy (21:39):
Well, I think you know a perfect example.
I have a client of mine who wasvery interested in an
initiative at her company thatwas really, really underserved
and it was an area for her thatshe not only she was very
passionate about, but she had alot of experience in and it was
being sort of neglected Mm-hmm.
(22:01):
And so she was able to puttogether sort of a plan.
It wasn't a full blown planLike it was like a high level
strategic plan about how shewould go about this and why it
was important and what the stepswould be.
She put that together and thenshe set up and, by the way, she
(22:21):
set up a meeting with hermanager.
It wasn't like doing it, itwasn't her one-on-one.
She decided she made it.
I want to talk to you about Xand she set up a meeting, a
separate meeting, with him, andthen they had this meeting.
She ran that meeting.
She was prepared for thatmeeting and the wonderful thing
about that was when he heard itwas impressed with the fact that
(22:47):
she took her own initiative todo this.
It wasn't like somebody askedher to.
She saw the problem, saw thesolution, had a passion for it,
and then just you know what itwas.
She led it, even though she's asubordinate, right, I mean,
she's like you know.
She, by the way, she alreadyhad a full-time job, like it
wasn't like she had thebandwidth, but she was able to
(23:07):
carve out.
She even figured out how muchtime she could carve out of her
time to actually deal with thisinitiative and she presented it
well.
He thought it was great.
He had actually rose it up tothe next level and they said,
yeah, let's go for it, let'sgive it a three-month trial, but
what it takes there, Aideen,it's really that one.
She did that work onunderstanding what mattered to
(23:31):
her most, what her purpose was,why she is at this company, what
she values the most.
And here was the thing.
There was a really good chancethat they would have said you
know what, no, we don't believein this, forget it.
Great idea, but no.
And it would have given her alittle bit more insight too
about her career, like, hmm, isthis a place I want to be at?
Aideen Ni Riada (23:55):
Yes, how much do I want to invest if this is
what they are?
You know, focuses.
Erin Duffy (24:01):
Yeah and see, so she owned that.
And I always tell people youneed to own your career.
No company owns your career.
You get to define, especiallyas you're rising up now, as
you're a mid-career and you'rerising up in leadership.
You get to figure out what,what you align with, what's
important to you, what you valuethe most, where you want to
(24:22):
make a difference.
And when you get a clearpicture of that, it makes those
next step much easier.
Because you're leading itNobody, they're not.
Clear picture of that it makesthose next step much easier.
Because you're leading itNobody, they're not.
They're not driving it.
You are.
Aideen Ni Riada (24:32):
So what I'm hearing here is that leadership,
because here's the thing I,when I think of leadership, I
think of the person in charge,right, but what you're saying is
leadership is basically takinginitiative on something that
matters to you.
Erin Duffy (24:45):
Absolutely.
Yeah, I mean, you know what Ilove?
We're all leaders.
Every single person is a leader.
You get to show up as a leaderin your career every single day.
And, by the way, just so youknow you can be a leader, people
think leader means you have tomanage people, and that is so
(25:05):
not true.
And it's amazing how manyclients I've worked with who
think, well, I need to bemanaged people in order for
someday to be a leader.
I'm like.
And then you look at thisperson's career throughout every
single stage of her career, shehas been a leader.
I mean, she led this initiative, she took over that she did,
but she never saw herself as aleader because she wasn't
(25:27):
managing people.
Okay, and.
I'm like, uh-uh, you are a true.
Look at all these incredibleleadership qualities you have.
She never saw them asleadership qualities, didn't
understand it, because thedefinition in many of our minds
is well, I don't manage people,so I'm not a leader.
No, you are a leader, and whenwe are able to own that, when we
(25:48):
are able to own, I'm a leaderof my career.
It makes such a differencebecause it puts you in the
driver's seat.
You are in control, notsomebody else.
Aideen Ni Riada (26:00):
And in essence we each are kind of living out
our lives as if we are theleading lady of our lives.
There you go so we got to stepinto that a little more.
Erin Duffy (26:10):
Yes, yes, You're right.
You know and it's interesting,Adia, I love that you said
leading lady because you and I,both being performers, you know
we remember throughout ourtheater career and as a singing
career.
You know, when you look at thestepping stones that we both did
and in becoming a leading lady,that was us doing that.
(26:32):
When you think about it, likeno one was taking care of that
for me and you're probably thesame way, it was like we were
choosing the opportunities thatgave us the possibility of
finally one day being theleading lady in a show.
You know, our careers are thesame way.
You get to define your careerand the type of career you want
(26:53):
to have by showing up as aleader in your career, for sure.
Aideen Ni Riada (26:58):
It's so interesting.
I love the idea that it's aboutinitiating or, you know, just
taking those opportunities.
Sometimes it's not even thatyou've come up with something
brand new.
It's about being able to say,hands up, that's something I
would like to do at a meeting.
And you find your clientssometimes have difficulty being
completely, kind of maybeconfident in saying that
(27:21):
sometimes too.
Erin Duffy (27:22):
Oh, absolutely yeah.
I mean people like well, Idon't know if I'm the right
person for it.
Oh, absolutely yeah.
I mean people like well, Idon't know if I'm the right
person for it.
And it's like well, the firstquestion he has is well, what
evidence shows that you're notthe right person?
And it's interesting, there'susually no evidence.
It's the mind games we playourselves.
Why don't I have the experience?
I haven't done enough, Ihaven't been here long enough.
(27:43):
There's these things that go onour mind that we kind of put
there ourselves.
But when you're able to look atsomething, if you're excited
about it and you have incrediblepassion about it and you really
want to do it, there'sabsolutely no reason why you
can't ask for it.
But it's understanding that andcoming from that lens.
Coming from that lens like whatabout?
(28:06):
This excites you, and when youget that man, it arms you with
this level of courage andexcitement that, by the way,
every company wants to see.
They really do.
They want somebody who's goingto take an initiative and be
excited about it and pull theright people together.
They're looking for that kindof leadership.
(28:28):
That's what they want.
So sometimes it's just a matterof just kind of getting out of
our own way, and sometimes it isthe little voices in our head
that tell us well, you're notthe right person.
Aideen Ni Riada (28:42):
I've heard some interesting research that said
that there is a differencebetween men and women, that
women will apply for a new rolethat they feel a hundred percent
qualified for, whereas a manwill apply for a new role if
he's 60% qualified.
Erin Duffy (28:56):
Absolutely.
Yep, so you've noticed that withclients that apps and it's a
true, that's an actual, truestatistic.
It's very interesting.
And, by the way, 18, I wouldsay I, if you were talking me in
the two thousands, I would havetwo thousands in the 2010s.
I would have said the samething.
I went oh well, I, oh shoot,I'd love to do that job, oh, but
(29:17):
I don't have this.
And right away you're like Ican't do the job.
Where and so many most women Iknow would tell you the same
thing there's that idea ofperfection that we're not good
enough, kind of thing, and it'slike no, no, no, no.
And that's why I always talk tomy clients about those ideas of
your transferable skills.
That's one of those big piecestoo.
(29:38):
When you're at that mid-careerand you've had all this
experience and you're ready tostep into that next amazing
phase, it's really looking atall of your experiences, your
wisdom, your skills and seeinghow much of it's transferable.
That's the most important piece, because many things can be
(29:58):
taught, many things can betaught.
But those skills that you have,a lot of that emotional
intelligence sort of skills thatyou have, that wisdom skills
that you have a lot of thatemotional intelligence sort of
skills that you have, thatwisdom, that stuff is gold, and
when we can own that and walkinto a room and say I want this,
(30:20):
I want this job, I'm the rightperson for this job and bring
that.
This is why I'm the right personfor the job.
I may not have these two thingsover here, but oh, I know I can
learn these, because look at myresume or look at my experience
.
I've shown time and time againthat I have learned very quickly
throughout my entire career.
This is why our history is soimportant.
This is why our story is soimportant and it's really about
(30:43):
we need to own it first andreally believe it and be
comfortable with it before westart expressing it out.
Because we have to believe itfirst without just oh, I can do
that kind of thing.
But when you truly believe it,you show up with a very
different voice, a moreconfident voice, a more excited
voice, and that's what companiesare looking for.
Aideen Ni Riada (31:05):
And it sounds like what you do as well, as you
help people review wherethey've been, because I know,
when we just think of who we aretoday, if you're in a job that
you're not enjoying, that you'renot really expressing all of
your capabilities in, it'salmost like you forget that.
But I was, like, hugelysuccessful at this and I was
more fulfilled at this.
Hugely successful at this and Iwas more fulfilled at this.
(31:29):
So finding that point of whatmakes you excited and what makes
you kind of what's firing youback up again, and combining
that with all of that evidencemust create like a completely
different energy for yourclients once they start stepping
out again.
Erin Duffy (31:40):
Oh, absolutely, it makes all the difference.
That's what I call the innergame Like we do the inner game
work first, because when you'reable to tap back into all those
things that excite you, thosestories that really have you
know, kind of like uniquelycarved out this amazing statue
of who you are and there'snobody else like you and that's
(32:01):
the thing I've used this line inmy business since the day I
started it when we show up ahundred percent our authentic
self, we have no competition.
And by doing that inner gamework, understanding what excites
you, understanding your valuesat a at a level that is so deep
that nobody, nobody can comparethemselves to you, and then you
(32:25):
really own those stories thatgot you to where you are.
That's what catapults you tothat next level, because you're
walking in the door with thislevel of confidence and comfort
and belief in who you are andthat there's nobody else like
you out there.
And there's a big differencewhen we're no longer comparing
ourselves to others Because,gosh, we spend our 20s and 30s
(32:48):
and probably most of our 40scomparing ourselves.
Not good enough, all that kindof stuff.
What if you were able to ridyourself of that and no longer
were you comparing, but you wereactually celebrating.
You're able to celebrate otherpeople and excited for their
success, because you know you'reexcited about your own and you
(33:11):
know you're exactly where youwant to go.
You know, and that's why thatinner game piece is so important
, because that really does setyou free.
Aideen Ni Riada (33:20):
I love this, so we just need to start
celebrating ourselves a littlemore.
Erin Duffy (33:23):
Exactly, break out the champagne.
Aideen Ni Riada (33:27):
We are going to wind things up now, in a few
minutes, but, Erin, is thereanything that you'd like to say,
any final words of wisdom thatyou think maybe you might've
wanted to mention earlier, butyou didn't get a chance.
Erin Duffy (33:39):
Well, I don't know.
We have had such a greatconversation, which you and I
always do, so thank you so muchfor this.
But, like I was, like I wassaying earlier, you know, this
is the time to really step in towho you are and really own your
presence and bring that to theroom, because not only are you
making a difference for yourself, but you literally are making a
(34:01):
difference for everybody inthat room.
And as leaders today, one ofthe biggest thing that we all
want to do as a leader is sortof make a difference and affect
leaders of tomorrow, and by usbringing our presence to the
room and being fully confidentin who we are, you are making a
(34:22):
difference in those youngleaders of tomorrow.
So that's what I would like tosay.
Aideen Ni Riada (34:29):
Yeah, beautiful , it's like an inspiration and I
think you know even there'seven that micro benefit of you
have a better meeting.
You get to feel better aboutyourself that day.
So there are so many layers towhy you might might choose to
(34:50):
just put a little more of youinto a situation, maybe a little
more effort and I think thisinner game part is something
that if you haven't done that,if you haven't reviewed your
skills and all the things you'vedone, if you haven't truly
celebrated your successes, thatmight be the thing that will
bring you to that point where,internally, it feels safe to
(35:14):
step out and to look directly inthe camera and to make more of
you stand out in your workplace.
Erin Duffy (35:21):
Yes, absolutely Love that oh it's been so much fun.
Aideen Ni Riada (35:25):
Thank you so much, much.
Thank you, Erin.
So Erin has a new book out sheco-authored um.
It's called how to buildempowered partners to skyrocket
your visibility and income forcreative entrepreneurs.
She also has an awesomenewsletter where she sends out
stage presence and confidenceand leadership tips that I
receive and I find veryinteresting.
(35:46):
So we are going to put some ofthose details with the show
notes and I encourage you all tofollow Erin and to let her
inspiration inspire you to alsostep into your own power in your
work and in your life.
Thank you so much, Erin, forbeing here today.
Erin Duffy (36:03):
Thank you, Aideen, it was a pleasure.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.