October 23, 2025 • 25 mins
Grief can shrink the world and silence the parts of ourselves we most need to hear. In this episode, we sit down with somatic grief therapist Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki to explore how simple, body-based practices—breath, movement, sleep, and nutrition—can calm your nervous system and help you carry loss with steadiness and resilience.
Jason shares his personal journey after losing his sister in 1998, revealing why talk therapy alone couldn’t shift his pain—and how pairing insight with practical physical rituals changed everything. You’ll discover:
- A clear, two-minute breathing drill to reset your nervous system
- The surprising role of sleep, omega-3s, and “quality” nutrition in emotional repair
- How tiny, consistent daily rituals—morning mindset, push-ups, meditation, and cold exposure—compound into real transformation
- Ways to reclaim your identity and purpose while carrying grief, from community advocacy to small daily actions that restore choice
This conversation is a compassionate guide for anyone navigating loss, showing that grief doesn’t have to erase joy—and that small, doable practices can free your voice, body, and spirit.
Connect with Jason
LinkedIn: @jason-wendroff-rawnicki
Face Book: @Somatic-Grief-Therapy/100087242064447/
Instagram: @somaticgrieftherapy
TikTok: @somaticgrieftherapy
YouTube: @SomaticGriefTherapy
If this conversation resonates, follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review. Your support helps more people find tools that actually help.
Thanks for listening! To book a free consultation with Aideen visit https://www.confidenceinsinging.com/contact/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Aideen Ni Riada (00:03):
Welcome.
This is the Resonate Podcastwith Aiden.
I'm Aideen Ni Riada, and myguest today, Jason Wendroff
Rawnicki, is a somatic grieftherapist, keynote speaker,
best-selling author, andcertified yoga educator with
over 20 years' experience inholistic wellness.
After losing his sister in1998, Jason discovered powerful
(00:27):
body-based tools for healinglike breath work, movement, and
mindfulness that can help younavigate grief, reduce stress,
and find resilience, purpose,and joy again.
You're very welcome, Jason.
Great to have you here.
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (00:43):
Thank you so much for having me.
I've been excited to come andtalk to you.
Aideen Ni Riada (00:47):
Yeah, me too.
Um, I've you we're recentlyacquainted, and I'm really
excited to find out more aboutyour journey to this personal
mission of yours to help peopleto navigate grief.
And it all started withexperiencing grief yourself when
you lost your sister.
Tell us a little bit about thattime and why it changed
(01:11):
everything for you so much.
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (01:13):
Sure, absolutely.
So it was 1998.
I was uh 26 years old at thetime.
I was just uh a young mantrying to find sort of my place
in the world, and then all of asudden, my sister, like, she
died in a car accident.
So one day she was here, thenext day she wasn't.
I didn't know how to handlethat.
Like, I was not given the toolsto deal with a loss like that.
(01:36):
Uh, my family never talkedabout death.
We really didn't have muchconversation about it.
And then it came out of theblue, and in addition, I was
required to kind of bottle upall of my grief because I had to
be strong for my parents.
I had to be the rock that wasgoing to be there to support my
(01:56):
mom and my dad.
At least that's what societytold me I needed to do.
So I took that on personally.
And so I kind of for a goodcouple of years shut my grief
off because, you know, myparents needed me to be there
for them.
Um, and in reality, I needed tofigure out how to deal with it
within myself.
At that point, I was also goingto school.
(02:18):
I was going to be a clinical uhpsychologist.
That was my intention.
I was studying therapy, uhtraditional talk therapy, and I
realized when this thinghappened, that wasn't gonna
solve it for me.
Like I knew why I was feelinglike crap.
I knew why I was doing thethings I was doing.
(02:39):
And so talking about it andprocessing it really wasn't
going to, you know, or or evendigging into the past was not
going to solve the issue.
I needed to find new ways, newsolutions for me.
And at that point, there wereno resources for bereaved
siblings.
Zero.
There were no in-person, veryfew in-person groups, there were
(03:00):
no books specifically onsibling loss.
Um, and even now there'sthere's a few and it's getting
better, but it's still not, youknow, it's not a lot.
And so I figured I I had it todeal with this on my own, I I
felt at least at the time.
So I really went in, I waspracticing yoga, I was
practicing mindfulness andmeditation, and I was like, oh,
(03:23):
this is actually working for me.
And even when I brought likethe yoga practices and the
mindful practices back to likemy psychology people, they were
like, no, that is, you know,that's something very different,
that's not science-based.
Uh, this goes, remember, thisgoes back to 1998, so things
have changed in since then.
But you know, they they reallydissuaded me from from pursuing
(03:46):
it further because it it waspsychology and yoga and
meditation were on two ends ofthe spectrum, and they and there
wasn't there wasn't thatbridge.
And I said, but if this isactually working for me, this is
what's being successful for me.
So how do I bridge that gap?
Aideen Ni Riada (04:04):
What is it you'd like to say to people?
Like if you have if there'ssomeone who's suffering with
grief right now, um, whetherit's a sibling or someone else,
what do you think they mightneed to hear to give them hope
for the future?
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (04:18):
Yeah.
So the first thing is no matterwhat form of grief you're
dealing with, and it could bedeath-related losses, like the
loss of a loved one, like aspouse or a sibling or a child
or you know, a pet, even.
Um, and it could also benon-death-related losses too,
because so many people, whenthey lose a job or they retire
or go through a life transition,are experiencing the grief of
(04:42):
maybe their old self or theirold identity.
And so we always have to workon shifting and changing that
identity, but know that you'renot alone, right?
Like that's I think the thingwith a lot of grieving people or
people that have experiencedloss.
They go and they isolatethemselves and they think that
I'm the only one dealing withthis thing.
And that's just not true.
(05:04):
One of the reasons why Idecided to start sharing my
story on podcasts like this isso that people can understand
that you're not alone, thatthere's other people that are
are struggling with the sameissues, and you know, and they
could be very serious issues,but you know, everybody there
are other people dealing withthem.
(05:24):
And so, really, you got to findthe right support system, like
the right people to help you,the right, you know, the right
uh group of friends.
There's there's and knowingthat you're not alone, that's
really the key.
Aideen Ni Riada (05:37):
Is there any client that you've worked with
that you'd feel comfortablesharing a little bit of their
story just to demonstrate thethe hope that people can have
for the future?
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (05:50):
Yes, let me just think.
That's a the um I so I when Iwork with clients, I also I try
to get them to kind of put the alot of times the grief becomes
their full identity, like that'sall that they can see.
And so we when we work atputting the grief back into
(06:10):
context with their life, thenthey have a real uh it's it's
very balancing because thenwe're not just the grief.
Can we be sad?
Yes.
Are there times that we'regonna be sad?
Absolutely.
It doesn't matter how longyou've been kind of dealing with
your grief, but there's gonnabe waves and and and
fluctuations.
(06:30):
Um, and the most a veryimportant thing is the um
finding a compelling future.
So finding something that isgoing to your like your passion,
right?
Like just like you do withfinding your voice.
That's kind of I do somethingsimilar with my clients where we
create a compelling future forthemselves.
And I have a client whosegrandson died of suicide, and
(06:53):
one of the things that shereally is passionate about is uh
suicide prevention.
So she winds up, she wound uptalking in front of a group of
people about suicide preventionand her grandson, so that this
way she could tell his story andencourage not people, not just
people to be aware uh thatpeople are dealing with these
(07:15):
thoughts, these serious suicidalideations, suicidal thoughts,
and it's a common thing, it'sbecoming more common,
unfortunately, but also uh hewas an organ donor, and so she
was able to speak out about herorgan donation and get some
people on that organ donationlist.
So uh yeah, so there's a lot ofthings that can happen through
(07:37):
the through the process.
Aideen Ni Riada (07:39):
Yeah.
You mentioned that you enjoyhelping people with breath work
and different um practicalstrategies to move through um
that emotion um at a practicallevel.
Is there anything that you'dlike to share with our
listeners?
Something that they could tryright now?
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (07:57):
Yep, absolutely.
So except if you're likeoperating heavy machinery or
you're listening to this podcastin a car.
Well, we can do it even withthat, right?
So I I'm a big fan of just deepbreathing, but most people
don't well, one people make ittoo complicated.
They're like, oh, I have to dolike a box breath and inhale the
hold and exhale a hold.
(08:17):
And and I just think thesimpler you make it, uh, the
better it is because uh, youknow, complexity is like the X
is the thief of execution.
When we make things toocomplicated, we don't actually
do them.
But when we simplify things,then we're like, all right, that
I can do.
So if you want, you could bringa hand on the belly and a hand
(08:38):
on the chest.
And then I want you to breathein and out through the nostrils.
And then as you inhale, I wantyou to really feel your belly
expand and your chest rise.
And then as you exhale, justfeel the chest release and the
belly move back into the body.
And then as you inhale, see ifyou can expand the belly and the
(09:05):
chest so that your handsseparate a little bit more.
And then as you release, thehands come closer together.
And just feel the body move asyou breathe.
Just take two more breaths andtake a moment to even notice the
effect that it has on yournervous system.
(09:27):
And then after your nextexhale, just kind of release the
hands.
And just notice.
Right?
Our breath is free, it's withus all the time.
Right?
You can do it eyes closed oreyes open, right?
Like if you're in a meeting andthings are getting stressful,
(09:50):
just take a couple of deepbreaths, just like we did, and
that helps to reset the nervoussystem.
It'll it'll happen in aninstant.
And then you can kind of gothrough your days with a little
bit more calm and a little bitmore ease.
Aideen Ni Riada (10:02):
That's beautiful.
unknown (10:04):
Yeah.
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (10:04):
As I say, and keep it simple.
Like if you make it to like, asI said, I I I know a lot of
people that really complicatethings a whole lot, and and then
it then it becomes difficult todo when we really need it.
Aideen Ni Riada (10:17):
When you started working in this area,
um, it wasn't that common forpeople to use these kinds of
strategies for grief.
Did you feel that, you know,like what were the obstacles
that you had to overcome inorder to start using these
strategies and kind of you know,empowering people in this way?
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (10:41):
Yeah, I mean, the the the biggest one
is that nobody really talksabout physical health and grief.
Um, and it's more than justmovement, more than just breath
work.
And um it's I I look at it asthe overall about health overall
and getting our body into a astate of vitality, which may
which also means sleeping,sleeping well, making sure that
(11:03):
you're getting good qualitysleep, because research is
showing that sleep is actuallypossibly more important than
diet and movement itself,because it's our body's ability
to repair, right?
It's uh it's getting on theright regimen of
supplementations to make sureour body has the foundational uh
(11:23):
nutrients that it needs to keepit running healthy and uh keep
it running smoothly.
So just talking about that inrelationship to the emotions and
the thoughts is what isdefinitely a challenge, even
still, because most peopleeither talk about uh physical
health or mental and emotionalhealth.
And now it's starting the uhthat bridge is starting to
(11:47):
develop.
But most people, a lot ofpeople still aren't making that
connection between the two.
So that because if I don't havethe right omegas, my brain
doesn't have the right uhmaterials to feel happy and to
feel excited and to feel joyful,and so I'm already starting
from a depleted state.
You know, tack on that, like uhmy fat the thoughts are going
(12:10):
in a negative way, right?
Like they can they it allaffects each other, and when you
make a change in one area, itaffects the other two.
Aideen Ni Riada (12:18):
So when you say the omegas, you're talking
about the omega-3 fatty acidsthat generally would come from
fish oils.
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (12:25):
Yep, yep.
Aideen Ni Riada (12:25):
So do you recommend those?
So if if we've got someonelistening that's like dealing
with grief or finding thatthey're going through a
difficult time, what do you whatwould you recommend for them in
that regard?
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (12:35):
So so there's there's two, like there,
I so I've partnered with anessential oil company called
DoTERRA.
That's the because I they do alot of research on their
supplementation.
And the the two that I I highlyrecommend, if there's only two
supplements that you I thinkalmost everybody should take and
take that with a grain of salt,because everybody, right, like
(12:58):
I said earlier, if you sayeveryone run the other
direction, right?
But I feel like a lot of peopleare depleted in a lot of their
vitamins, mineral vitamins andminerals and greens.
Uh so uh there's a greensupplement, a vitamin mineral
green supplement, and an omegasupplement that's a it's a fish
oil based, but having the goodlike not all supplements are
(13:19):
created equal.
So I know when if I don't takemy omegas, and specifically I
talk about omegas because Ithink that's uh the important
one for real brain health andemotional regulation.
Uh, because I notice I notice ahuge difference if I don't take
them uh on a regular basis.
Consistency withsupplementation is important
(13:40):
because if you don't take themevery day, then you know you're
it's not they're not going to beas effective.
Um and making sure that they'renot only bioavailable, but they
that they uh stay in the bodyfor as long as they can.
So absolutely, yeah.
Aideen Ni Riada (13:56):
Well what some people might know might not
realize about me is that Iworked for in health stores for
eight years and I worked infitness and uh gyms for an extra
four years.
But the I did take fish oilsand I started back on them
recently um because of you knowmenopause, a perimenopause, that
kind of age um and skinchanges.
(14:19):
I used to love taking thosefish oils.
I I I worked because I workedin a health store.
This is like insiderinformation.
I I must have been spendinglike 250 euros out a month on
just supplements because I wastrying everything, and so I
stepped back from it all becauseit was too much.
So I love that you're onlyrecommending two things, like
it's just so simple.
(14:40):
So for me, in the morning whenI'm having my breakfast, that's
when I take them, and that'swhat I would suggest people is
you know, have a create a littlehabit, put it somewhere where
you can see it, and um, and takesomething, even something you
know, at a small level regularlyis really very good.
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (15:00):
Yeah, and just like as far as
supplements go, depending on thesupplement, uh if you're just
if well, and it depends on thetech, there's new technologies
coming out.
So it if you're taking a a lotof capsules aren't always uh
bioavailable, um depending onthe capsule itself, it should be
(15:21):
like a powder encapsulated, butI I mean I could talk another
45 minutes on just you knowsupplementations, but not all
supplements are created equal,as I said, and you it doesn't
make sense to take vitamins thatyou're not absorbing because it
comes in and goes out, and it'sand for a lot of just
over-the-counter supplements,they're just being excreted.
(15:43):
And so you I kind of jokearound and say you'll have very
expensive urine because uhbecause if it's going in and
going out and your body's notable to utilize it, then you
know that's a problem.
And and you know, making I knowwhen I was in my, I think I was
in my early 30s and I startedto get little brain gaps, like
when I was teaching a yogaclass, I couldn't remember some
(16:06):
words and I was getting a littlebit nervous.
And so I went to the doctor,and the doctor was like, Oh,
you're just getting older.
And I'm like, that's I'm 30something.
That's not, I wouldn't takethat as an answer.
So I did my own research, andthat's what that's what brought
me to omegas.
And once I started taking theomegas that I'm on right now,
those brain fog, the brain fogdisappeared, the the memory gaps
(16:30):
disappeared, like it all justwent away.
And if for some reason I, youknow, the shipment comes in late
or I don't take them for acouple of days, I can feel some
of that stuff coming back.
So there's no question in mymind that my that those omegas
actually help my mental mymental health for sure.
Aideen Ni Riada (16:51):
And to just acknowledge that our body is
basically so important for ouremotions and for our thought
processes, and they both go handin hand.
It's about being more holisticin our approach, really, isn't
it?
Jason Wendroff-Rawnick (17:07):
Correct.
And you have to look at allthree, right?
Like you have to look at yourbody, your heart, and your mind,
and and how they they allinterrelate so that when once
your body gets healthier, thenyou could deal with your
emotions more effectively.
If your body gets weaker andless vital, and you don't have
those those omegas and you don'thave the micronutrients that
you need to run smoothly, thenthe emotions go south, and it's
(17:31):
harder to re uh recalibrateyourself.
Well, you know, and go ahead.
I'm a huge fan of rituals too,because um we need to make sure
that we have a good routine, agood morning routine, a good
evening routine, because ifyou're starting the day from a
peak state, from a state whereyou're gonna like crush the day,
(17:52):
that's one thing.
If you're starting the day andjust running and doing stuff and
you're not prepping yourselffor that day, you're gonna let
the day decide how you feel.
And so we really need to be,especially when I work with
clients, I I put them in thedriver's seat.
We get we we get them choicesof how they want to feel because
(18:13):
we always think, oh, emotionscome up.
Yeah, they come up, and we haveto acknowledge and accept them,
but then we have to make thechoice.
Is this how we want to feel, ordo we want to feel something
different?
If the choice is I want to feelsomething different, then how
do we get how would we make thathappen?
Aideen Ni Riada (18:30):
So, what's an example of a good uh morning
routine?
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (18:34):
So for me, as soon as I went, I even
before I put my feet on on thefloor, I start to notice how
like like what my thoughtprocess is, like, and and I
start to uh infuse a goodaffirmation to myself, you know,
like all I need is within menow, or what do I want to
accomplish today?
(18:55):
What you know, what is whatdoes the universe have in store
for me so that I can, you know,I can take action on those
things.
So my mindset, even before myfeet touch the floor, I'm
working on my mindset.
And then as soon as my feettouch the floor, I get on the
floor and do like a hundredpush-ups uh just to get my body,
it immediately gets my bodyactivated.
(19:17):
And then I'll, you know, five,four to five days a week, I'll
go out for a run or some sort ofcardio exercise to get my body,
get the endorphins going, toget myself, you know, it really
moving right away.
And then I'll come back, I'lldo it maybe a 10-minute
meditation, and then I'll havesome breakfast.
So that I mean, that'sgenerally now I'm a little bit
(19:38):
easy with it.
Like so, even uh in the falland in the winter, I'll do some
cold dipping, uh, which is likesitting in, I absolutely love
it.
Uh, so I have a little cold diptub that I put outside on my
porch and I'll submerse myselfin it for about you know six or
seven minutes.
Usually the temperature is like40 to 50 degrees and it's cold.
(20:00):
Um, but it gets it gets myenergy going, or I'll take a
cold shower at times, like inthe in the summer, just to kind
of wake myself up, get my bodyreally going.
So that's that's my personalone.
And then with my breakfast, Ihave my vitamins and omegas, and
then I'm ready to hit the dayfrom a very empowered state.
Aideen Ni Riada (20:22):
This is amazing.
I think that okay, number one,we're really saying that our
emotions and dealing with griefis not just about our mind, it's
about our body as well.
And then when we talk about thebody, we're talking about
moving, we're talking aboutexercising, we're talking about
eating well, about takingsupplements, um, and allowing
that to go hand in hand withthat process.
(20:44):
So, is there something thatyou'd like to say to the people
listening right now before westart to wind things up?
What's the words of wisdom, thelittle pearl that you want
people to really remember fromtoday?
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (20:57):
Yeah, so I think it's because I
started talking aboutsimplicity, how you know how we
need to keep things simple.
When you think about alsoprogress, I want you to think of
a 1% improvement.
What's 1%?
How can I be 1% better todaythan I was yesterday?
And that because those that 1%will compound over time.
(21:20):
At the end of the week, you'llbe 7% better.
At the end of the month, 30%better.
At the end of three months,you're 90% better.
So just I want you to think insmall increments and don't try
to get too out of hand because Iknow when people make life
changes, they're like, oh, Ihave to change this and that,
and clean my cabinets and eathealthy and exercise and move,
(21:42):
and and and then that gets waytoo complicated.
So just reel it on in, make onechange.
What's like one change that Ican make today that will make
make a difference that I can doconsistently?
Aideen Ni Riada (21:55):
And it could start with that breath, right?
Just correct.
Just doing that one breathexercise, uh, one hand on your
heart, one hand on your belly,and just um be aware of your
breathing for a couple ofminutes every day.
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (22:08):
Yeah, it doesn't even have to be.
It could I they always say oneminute of of something that
you're gonna do is better than30 minutes of something you're
not gonna do.
So, you know, so when they saymeditate, if you can't meditate
for 30 minutes, do it for 10seconds, right?
Do it for 20 seconds.
And because what we want to dois we want to take, we want to
(22:29):
take motivation out of the wayand bring in habit.
Because when we're motivated,some days we're motivated, some
days we're not.
Some days I'm feeling great,some days I'm not.
And so if you're relying onmotivation, then when you're not
feeling like doing something,you won't do it.
If you build it as a habit,then you're gonna do it no
matter what.
Aideen Ni Riada (22:49):
Um, building habits is a fascinating topic,
even in itself.
Um, I know I have a couple ofthings that I do to help me to
create a new habit.
Do you have any little tip onhow to create a new habit?
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (23:03):
Yes.
So uh one back to keep itsimple, right?
Like, so what is the what isthe one step that you need to
do, right?
Um so for me, I don't alwayslove like every morning, I don't
feel like I want to run, butit's such a habit now that all I
(23:26):
have to do is convince myselfto put my running shoes on.
If I can get my running shoeson, my body's going out the
door.
I have, I think there's onlyonce in my in maybe eight years
that I got my running shoes onand didn't go out the door.
So find out what that firsthabit is.
If it's you don't like flossingyour teeth, right?
(23:48):
Just take the floss out of thecabinet, right?
Like just get into the habit ofthat, and then once the floss
comes out, then you know, likedo that for a week and then
floss one tooth, right?
Like, you know, and so that youcan build it up.
So, but you know, before youknow it, you're gonna be doing,
you're good, you're going to bedoing the whole thing.
But just find that one, like,what's the one thing that's not
(24:10):
scary that you can do every day?
Aideen Ni Riada (24:12):
Well, I'm so glad that you took this journey
and I'm glad that we had thistime together.
Thank you for joining me on theResonate podcast.
I will be adding your links umto our show notes so that people
can find you.
Is there anything specific thatyou'd like people to look for
of yours to learn more aboutyou?
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (24:31):
So the best way is to go to my website,
www.somaticgrieftherapy.com,uh, because there's a copy,
there's you can download a um acopy of the keynote speech I did
in uh New Orleans uh for agrief conference, and it's it's
really about how to create thatsustainable change and how we
(24:52):
need how we need immersion andwe need consistent repetition
because if we don't like if wedon't make it habits with
through the consistentrepetition, then we can get we
can read all the things, we canget all the knowledge, but
knowledge is only potentialpower.
It's when we take action on itthat it really becomes uh uh
(25:13):
powerful.
So you know, finding simpleways of taking small actions.
Love it.
Aideen Ni Riada (25:19):
Thank you so much, Jason, for being here with
us today.
Thank you everyone forlistening, and we'll see you
again at the next episode of theResonate Podcast with Aideen.
Welcome.
This is the Resonate Podcastwith Aiden.
I'm Aideen Ni Riada, and myguest today, Jason Wendroff
Rawnicki, is a somatic grieftherapist, keynote speaker,
best-selling author, andcertified yoga educator with
over 20 years' experience inholistic wellness.
After losing his sister in1998, Jason discovered powerful
(00:27):
body-based tools for healinglike breath work, movement, and
mindfulness that can help younavigate grief, reduce stress,
and find resilience, purpose,and joy again.
You're very welcome, Jason.
Great to have you here.
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (00:43):
Thank you so much for having me.
I've been excited to come andtalk to you.
Aideen Ni Riada (00:47):
Yeah, me too.
Um, I've you we're recentlyacquainted, and I'm really
excited to find out more aboutyour journey to this personal
mission of yours to help peopleto navigate grief.
And it all started withexperiencing grief yourself when
you lost your sister.
Tell us a little bit about thattime and why it changed
(01:11):
everything for you so much.
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (01:13):
Sure, absolutely.
So it was 1998.
I was uh 26 years old at thetime.
I was just uh a young mantrying to find sort of my place
in the world, and then all of asudden, my sister, like, she
died in a car accident.
So one day she was here, thenext day she wasn't.
I didn't know how to handlethat.
Like, I was not given the toolsto deal with a loss like that.
(01:36):
Uh, my family never talkedabout death.
We really didn't have muchconversation about it.
And then it came out of theblue, and in addition, I was
required to kind of bottle upall of my grief because I had to
be strong for my parents.
I had to be the rock that wasgoing to be there to support my
(01:56):
mom and my dad.
At least that's what societytold me I needed to do.
So I took that on personally.
And so I kind of for a goodcouple of years shut my grief
off because, you know, myparents needed me to be there
for them.
Um, and in reality, I needed tofigure out how to deal with it
within myself.
At that point, I was also goingto school.
(02:18):
I was going to be a clinical uhpsychologist.
That was my intention.
I was studying therapy, uhtraditional talk therapy, and I
realized when this thinghappened, that wasn't gonna
solve it for me.
Like I knew why I was feelinglike crap.
I knew why I was doing thethings I was doing.
(02:39):
And so talking about it andprocessing it really wasn't
going to, you know, or or evendigging into the past was not
going to solve the issue.
I needed to find new ways, newsolutions for me.
And at that point, there wereno resources for bereaved
siblings.
Zero.
There were no in-person, veryfew in-person groups, there were
(03:00):
no books specifically onsibling loss.
Um, and even now there'sthere's a few and it's getting
better, but it's still not, youknow, it's not a lot.
And so I figured I I had it todeal with this on my own, I I
felt at least at the time.
So I really went in, I waspracticing yoga, I was
practicing mindfulness andmeditation, and I was like, oh,
(03:23):
this is actually working for me.
And even when I brought likethe yoga practices and the
mindful practices back to likemy psychology people, they were
like, no, that is, you know,that's something very different,
that's not science-based.
Uh, this goes, remember, thisgoes back to 1998, so things
have changed in since then.
But you know, they they reallydissuaded me from from pursuing
(03:46):
it further because it it waspsychology and yoga and
meditation were on two ends ofthe spectrum, and they and there
wasn't there wasn't thatbridge.
And I said, but if this isactually working for me, this is
what's being successful for me.
So how do I bridge that gap?
Aideen Ni Riada (04:04):
What is it you'd like to say to people?
Like if you have if there'ssomeone who's suffering with
grief right now, um, whetherit's a sibling or someone else,
what do you think they mightneed to hear to give them hope
for the future?
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (04:18):
Yeah.
So the first thing is no matterwhat form of grief you're
dealing with, and it could bedeath-related losses, like the
loss of a loved one, like aspouse or a sibling or a child
or you know, a pet, even.
Um, and it could also benon-death-related losses too,
because so many people, whenthey lose a job or they retire
or go through a life transition,are experiencing the grief of
(04:42):
maybe their old self or theirold identity.
And so we always have to workon shifting and changing that
identity, but know that you'renot alone, right?
Like that's I think the thingwith a lot of grieving people or
people that have experiencedloss.
They go and they isolatethemselves and they think that
I'm the only one dealing withthis thing.
And that's just not true.
(05:04):
One of the reasons why Idecided to start sharing my
story on podcasts like this isso that people can understand
that you're not alone, thatthere's other people that are
are struggling with the sameissues, and you know, and they
could be very serious issues,but you know, everybody there
are other people dealing withthem.
(05:24):
And so, really, you got to findthe right support system, like
the right people to help you,the right, you know, the right
uh group of friends.
There's there's and knowingthat you're not alone, that's
really the key.
Aideen Ni Riada (05:37):
Is there any client that you've worked with
that you'd feel comfortablesharing a little bit of their
story just to demonstrate thethe hope that people can have
for the future?
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (05:50):
Yes, let me just think.
That's a the um I so I when Iwork with clients, I also I try
to get them to kind of put the alot of times the grief becomes
their full identity, like that'sall that they can see.
And so we when we work atputting the grief back into
(06:10):
context with their life, thenthey have a real uh it's it's
very balancing because thenwe're not just the grief.
Can we be sad?
Yes.
Are there times that we'regonna be sad?
Absolutely.
It doesn't matter how longyou've been kind of dealing with
your grief, but there's gonnabe waves and and and
fluctuations.
(06:30):
Um, and the most a veryimportant thing is the um
finding a compelling future.
So finding something that isgoing to your like your passion,
right?
Like just like you do withfinding your voice.
That's kind of I do somethingsimilar with my clients where we
create a compelling future forthemselves.
And I have a client whosegrandson died of suicide, and
(06:53):
one of the things that shereally is passionate about is uh
suicide prevention.
So she winds up, she wound uptalking in front of a group of
people about suicide preventionand her grandson, so that this
way she could tell his story andencourage not people, not just
people to be aware uh thatpeople are dealing with these
(07:15):
thoughts, these serious suicidalideations, suicidal thoughts,
and it's a common thing, it'sbecoming more common,
unfortunately, but also uh hewas an organ donor, and so she
was able to speak out about herorgan donation and get some
people on that organ donationlist.
So uh yeah, so there's a lot ofthings that can happen through
(07:37):
the through the process.
Aideen Ni Riada (07:39):
Yeah.
You mentioned that you enjoyhelping people with breath work
and different um practicalstrategies to move through um
that emotion um at a practicallevel.
Is there anything that you'dlike to share with our
listeners?
Something that they could tryright now?
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (07:57):
Yep, absolutely.
So except if you're likeoperating heavy machinery or
you're listening to this podcastin a car.
Well, we can do it even withthat, right?
So I I'm a big fan of just deepbreathing, but most people
don't well, one people make ittoo complicated.
They're like, oh, I have to dolike a box breath and inhale the
hold and exhale a hold.
(08:17):
And and I just think thesimpler you make it, uh, the
better it is because uh, youknow, complexity is like the X
is the thief of execution.
When we make things toocomplicated, we don't actually
do them.
But when we simplify things,then we're like, all right, that
I can do.
So if you want, you could bringa hand on the belly and a hand
(08:38):
on the chest.
And then I want you to breathein and out through the nostrils.
And then as you inhale, I wantyou to really feel your belly
expand and your chest rise.
And then as you exhale, justfeel the chest release and the
belly move back into the body.
And then as you inhale, see ifyou can expand the belly and the
(09:05):
chest so that your handsseparate a little bit more.
And then as you release, thehands come closer together.
And just feel the body move asyou breathe.
Just take two more breaths andtake a moment to even notice the
effect that it has on yournervous system.
(09:27):
And then after your nextexhale, just kind of release the
hands.
And just notice.
Right?
Our breath is free, it's withus all the time.
Right?
You can do it eyes closed oreyes open, right?
Like if you're in a meeting andthings are getting stressful,
(09:50):
just take a couple of deepbreaths, just like we did, and
that helps to reset the nervoussystem.
It'll it'll happen in aninstant.
And then you can kind of gothrough your days with a little
bit more calm and a little bitmore ease.
Aideen Ni Riada (10:02):
That's beautiful.
unknown (10:04):
Yeah.
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (10:04):
As I say, and keep it simple.
Like if you make it to like, asI said, I I I know a lot of
people that really complicatethings a whole lot, and and then
it then it becomes difficult todo when we really need it.
Aideen Ni Riada (10:17):
When you started working in this area,
um, it wasn't that common forpeople to use these kinds of
strategies for grief.
Did you feel that, you know,like what were the obstacles
that you had to overcome inorder to start using these
strategies and kind of you know,empowering people in this way?
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (10:41):
Yeah, I mean, the the the biggest one
is that nobody really talksabout physical health and grief.
Um, and it's more than justmovement, more than just breath
work.
And um it's I I look at it asthe overall about health overall
and getting our body into a astate of vitality, which may
which also means sleeping,sleeping well, making sure that
(11:03):
you're getting good qualitysleep, because research is
showing that sleep is actuallypossibly more important than
diet and movement itself,because it's our body's ability
to repair, right?
It's uh it's getting on theright regimen of
supplementations to make sureour body has the foundational uh
(11:23):
nutrients that it needs to keepit running healthy and uh keep
it running smoothly.
So just talking about that inrelationship to the emotions and
the thoughts is what isdefinitely a challenge, even
still, because most peopleeither talk about uh physical
health or mental and emotionalhealth.
And now it's starting the uhthat bridge is starting to
(11:47):
develop.
But most people, a lot ofpeople still aren't making that
connection between the two.
So that because if I don't havethe right omegas, my brain
doesn't have the right uhmaterials to feel happy and to
feel excited and to feel joyful,and so I'm already starting
from a depleted state.
You know, tack on that, like uhmy fat the thoughts are going
(12:10):
in a negative way, right?
Like they can they it allaffects each other, and when you
make a change in one area, itaffects the other two.
Aideen Ni Riada (12:18):
So when you say the omegas, you're talking
about the omega-3 fatty acidsthat generally would come from
fish oils.
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (12:25):
Yep, yep.
Aideen Ni Riada (12:25):
So do you recommend those?
So if if we've got someonelistening that's like dealing
with grief or finding thatthey're going through a
difficult time, what do you whatwould you recommend for them in
that regard?
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (12:35):
So so there's there's two, like there,
I so I've partnered with anessential oil company called
DoTERRA.
That's the because I they do alot of research on their
supplementation.
And the the two that I I highlyrecommend, if there's only two
supplements that you I thinkalmost everybody should take and
take that with a grain of salt,because everybody, right, like
(12:58):
I said earlier, if you sayeveryone run the other
direction, right?
But I feel like a lot of peopleare depleted in a lot of their
vitamins, mineral vitamins andminerals and greens.
Uh so uh there's a greensupplement, a vitamin mineral
green supplement, and an omegasupplement that's a it's a fish
oil based, but having the goodlike not all supplements are
(13:19):
created equal.
So I know when if I don't takemy omegas, and specifically I
talk about omegas because Ithink that's uh the important
one for real brain health andemotional regulation.
Uh, because I notice I notice ahuge difference if I don't take
them uh on a regular basis.
Consistency withsupplementation is important
(13:40):
because if you don't take themevery day, then you know you're
it's not they're not going to beas effective.
Um and making sure that they'renot only bioavailable, but they
that they uh stay in the bodyfor as long as they can.
So absolutely, yeah.
Aideen Ni Riada (13:56):
Well what some people might know might not
realize about me is that Iworked for in health stores for
eight years and I worked infitness and uh gyms for an extra
four years.
But the I did take fish oilsand I started back on them
recently um because of you knowmenopause, a perimenopause, that
kind of age um and skinchanges.
(14:19):
I used to love taking thosefish oils.
I I I worked because I workedin a health store.
This is like insiderinformation.
I I must have been spendinglike 250 euros out a month on
just supplements because I wastrying everything, and so I
stepped back from it all becauseit was too much.
So I love that you're onlyrecommending two things, like
it's just so simple.
(14:40):
So for me, in the morning whenI'm having my breakfast, that's
when I take them, and that'swhat I would suggest people is
you know, have a create a littlehabit, put it somewhere where
you can see it, and um, and takesomething, even something you
know, at a small level regularlyis really very good.
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (15:00):
Yeah, and just like as far as
supplements go, depending on thesupplement, uh if you're just
if well, and it depends on thetech, there's new technologies
coming out.
So it if you're taking a a lotof capsules aren't always uh
bioavailable, um depending onthe capsule itself, it should be
(15:21):
like a powder encapsulated, butI I mean I could talk another
45 minutes on just you knowsupplementations, but not all
supplements are created equal,as I said, and you it doesn't
make sense to take vitamins thatyou're not absorbing because it
comes in and goes out, and it'sand for a lot of just
over-the-counter supplements,they're just being excreted.
(15:43):
And so you I kind of jokearound and say you'll have very
expensive urine because uhbecause if it's going in and
going out and your body's notable to utilize it, then you
know that's a problem.
And and you know, making I knowwhen I was in my, I think I was
in my early 30s and I startedto get little brain gaps, like
when I was teaching a yogaclass, I couldn't remember some
(16:06):
words and I was getting a littlebit nervous.
And so I went to the doctor,and the doctor was like, Oh,
you're just getting older.
And I'm like, that's I'm 30something.
That's not, I wouldn't takethat as an answer.
So I did my own research, andthat's what that's what brought
me to omegas.
And once I started taking theomegas that I'm on right now,
those brain fog, the brain fogdisappeared, the the memory gaps
(16:30):
disappeared, like it all justwent away.
And if for some reason I, youknow, the shipment comes in late
or I don't take them for acouple of days, I can feel some
of that stuff coming back.
So there's no question in mymind that my that those omegas
actually help my mental mymental health for sure.
Aideen Ni Riada (16:51):
And to just acknowledge that our body is
basically so important for ouremotions and for our thought
processes, and they both go handin hand.
It's about being more holisticin our approach, really, isn't
it?
Jason Wendroff-Rawnick (17:07):
Correct.
And you have to look at allthree, right?
Like you have to look at yourbody, your heart, and your mind,
and and how they they allinterrelate so that when once
your body gets healthier, thenyou could deal with your
emotions more effectively.
If your body gets weaker andless vital, and you don't have
those those omegas and you don'thave the micronutrients that
you need to run smoothly, thenthe emotions go south, and it's
(17:31):
harder to re uh recalibrateyourself.
Well, you know, and go ahead.
I'm a huge fan of rituals too,because um we need to make sure
that we have a good routine, agood morning routine, a good
evening routine, because ifyou're starting the day from a
peak state, from a state whereyou're gonna like crush the day,
(17:52):
that's one thing.
If you're starting the day andjust running and doing stuff and
you're not prepping yourselffor that day, you're gonna let
the day decide how you feel.
And so we really need to be,especially when I work with
clients, I I put them in thedriver's seat.
We get we we get them choicesof how they want to feel because
(18:13):
we always think, oh, emotionscome up.
Yeah, they come up, and we haveto acknowledge and accept them,
but then we have to make thechoice.
Is this how we want to feel, ordo we want to feel something
different?
If the choice is I want to feelsomething different, then how
do we get how would we make thathappen?
Aideen Ni Riada (18:30):
So, what's an example of a good uh morning
routine?
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (18:34):
So for me, as soon as I went, I even
before I put my feet on on thefloor, I start to notice how
like like what my thoughtprocess is, like, and and I
start to uh infuse a goodaffirmation to myself, you know,
like all I need is within menow, or what do I want to
accomplish today?
(18:55):
What you know, what is whatdoes the universe have in store
for me so that I can, you know,I can take action on those
things.
So my mindset, even before myfeet touch the floor, I'm
working on my mindset.
And then as soon as my feettouch the floor, I get on the
floor and do like a hundredpush-ups uh just to get my body,
it immediately gets my bodyactivated.
(19:17):
And then I'll, you know, five,four to five days a week, I'll
go out for a run or some sort ofcardio exercise to get my body,
get the endorphins going, toget myself, you know, it really
moving right away.
And then I'll come back, I'lldo it maybe a 10-minute
meditation, and then I'll havesome breakfast.
So that I mean, that'sgenerally now I'm a little bit
(19:38):
easy with it.
Like so, even uh in the falland in the winter, I'll do some
cold dipping, uh, which is likesitting in, I absolutely love
it.
Uh, so I have a little cold diptub that I put outside on my
porch and I'll submerse myselfin it for about you know six or
seven minutes.
Usually the temperature is like40 to 50 degrees and it's cold.
(20:00):
Um, but it gets it gets myenergy going, or I'll take a
cold shower at times, like inthe in the summer, just to kind
of wake myself up, get my bodyreally going.
So that's that's my personalone.
And then with my breakfast, Ihave my vitamins and omegas, and
then I'm ready to hit the dayfrom a very empowered state.
Aideen Ni Riada (20:22):
This is amazing.
I think that okay, number one,we're really saying that our
emotions and dealing with griefis not just about our mind, it's
about our body as well.
And then when we talk about thebody, we're talking about
moving, we're talking aboutexercising, we're talking about
eating well, about takingsupplements, um, and allowing
that to go hand in hand withthat process.
(20:44):
So, is there something thatyou'd like to say to the people
listening right now before westart to wind things up?
What's the words of wisdom, thelittle pearl that you want
people to really remember fromtoday?
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (20:57):
Yeah, so I think it's because I
started talking aboutsimplicity, how you know how we
need to keep things simple.
When you think about alsoprogress, I want you to think of
a 1% improvement.
What's 1%?
How can I be 1% better todaythan I was yesterday?
And that because those that 1%will compound over time.
(21:20):
At the end of the week, you'llbe 7% better.
At the end of the month, 30%better.
At the end of three months,you're 90% better.
So just I want you to think insmall increments and don't try
to get too out of hand because Iknow when people make life
changes, they're like, oh, Ihave to change this and that,
and clean my cabinets and eathealthy and exercise and move,
(21:42):
and and and then that gets waytoo complicated.
So just reel it on in, make onechange.
What's like one change that Ican make today that will make
make a difference that I can doconsistently?
Aideen Ni Riada (21:55):
And it could start with that breath, right?
Just correct.
Just doing that one breathexercise, uh, one hand on your
heart, one hand on your belly,and just um be aware of your
breathing for a couple ofminutes every day.
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (22:08):
Yeah, it doesn't even have to be.
It could I they always say oneminute of of something that
you're gonna do is better than30 minutes of something you're
not gonna do.
So, you know, so when they saymeditate, if you can't meditate
for 30 minutes, do it for 10seconds, right?
Do it for 20 seconds.
And because what we want to dois we want to take, we want to
(22:29):
take motivation out of the wayand bring in habit.
Because when we're motivated,some days we're motivated, some
days we're not.
Some days I'm feeling great,some days I'm not.
And so if you're relying onmotivation, then when you're not
feeling like doing something,you won't do it.
If you build it as a habit,then you're gonna do it no
matter what.
Aideen Ni Riada (22:49):
Um, building habits is a fascinating topic,
even in itself.
Um, I know I have a couple ofthings that I do to help me to
create a new habit.
Do you have any little tip onhow to create a new habit?
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (23:03):
Yes.
So uh one back to keep itsimple, right?
Like, so what is the what isthe one step that you need to
do, right?
Um so for me, I don't alwayslove like every morning, I don't
feel like I want to run, butit's such a habit now that all I
(23:26):
have to do is convince myselfto put my running shoes on.
If I can get my running shoeson, my body's going out the
door.
I have, I think there's onlyonce in my in maybe eight years
that I got my running shoes onand didn't go out the door.
So find out what that firsthabit is.
If it's you don't like flossingyour teeth, right?
(23:48):
Just take the floss out of thecabinet, right?
Like just get into the habit ofthat, and then once the floss
comes out, then you know, likedo that for a week and then
floss one tooth, right?
Like, you know, and so that youcan build it up.
So, but you know, before youknow it, you're gonna be doing,
you're good, you're going to bedoing the whole thing.
But just find that one, like,what's the one thing that's not
(24:10):
scary that you can do every day?
Aideen Ni Riada (24:12):
Well, I'm so glad that you took this journey
and I'm glad that we had thistime together.
Thank you for joining me on theResonate podcast.
I will be adding your links umto our show notes so that people
can find you.
Is there anything specific thatyou'd like people to look for
of yours to learn more aboutyou?
Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki (24:31):
So the best way is to go to my website,
www.somaticgrieftherapy.com,uh, because there's a copy,
there's you can download a um acopy of the keynote speech I did
in uh New Orleans uh for agrief conference, and it's it's
really about how to create thatsustainable change and how we
(24:52):
need how we need immersion andwe need consistent repetition
because if we don't like if wedon't make it habits with
through the consistentrepetition, then we can get we
can read all the things, we canget all the knowledge, but
knowledge is only potentialpower.
It's when we take action on itthat it really becomes uh uh
(25:13):
powerful.
So you know, finding simpleways of taking small actions.
Love it.
Aideen Ni Riada (25:19):
Thank you so much, Jason, for being here with
us today.
Thank you everyone forlistening, and we'll see you
again at the next episode of theResonate Podcast with Aideen.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Are You A Charlotte?
In 1997, actress Kristin Davis’ life was forever changed when she took on the role of Charlotte York in Sex and the City. As we watched Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte navigate relationships in NYC, the show helped push once unacceptable conversation topics out of the shadows and altered the narrative around women and sex. We all saw ourselves in them as they searched for fulfillment in life, sex and friendships. Now, Kristin Davis wants to connect with you, the fans, and share untold stories and all the behind the scenes. Together, with Kristin and special guests, what will begin with Sex and the City will evolve into talks about themes that are still so relevant today. "Are you a Charlotte?" is much more than just rewatching this beloved show, it brings the past and the present together as we talk with heart, humor and of course some optimism.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.