August 25, 2025 • 26 mins
Alyse Bacine shares her groundbreaking approach to trauma healing and the profound impact it has on authentic self-expression. She explains how childhood experiences create limiting beliefs that prevent us from expressing our true selves and offers practical methods for releasing these blocks.
• Trauma isn't always a catastrophic event—often it's subtle childhood experiences that create lasting programming
• Small experiences can create beliefs that stop us from accessing our authentic selves
• Fear of criticism often stems from feeling unseen or unacknowledged in childhood
• People-pleasing is a coping mechanism developed to feel safe and get needs met
• The Metamorphosis Method addresses core wounds without requiring endless excavation of the past
• Healing must be paired with action for lasting transformation
• Inner child work creates safety for making behavioral changes
• Confidence emerges naturally when internal blocks are removed
• All roads to success require working through uncomfortable emotions and limiting beliefs
• The only way entrepreneurs truly fail is by stopping before breakthrough
Ready to explore these concepts further? Visit Alice's private podcast "The Core Wound Solution" or try one of her transformative breathwork sessions through the links in our show notes.
Connect with Alyse
Facebook: @alyse.levy
Instagram: @alyse_breathes
LinkedIn: @alysebreathes
Podcast: The Core Wound Solution
Website: www.alysebreathes.com
Thanks for listening! To book a free consultation with Aideen visit https://www.confidenceinsinging.com/contact/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Aideen Ni Riada (00:02):
Welcome to the Resonate podcast with Aideen.
My name is Aideen Ni Riada andmy guest today Alyse Bacine.
Alyse is a pioneering traumahealer, a transformational
breathwork guide with over 23years experience.
She's the creator of theMetamorphosis Method and she
bridges clinical psychology andsomatic healing to help women
(00:26):
align their true purpose andcreate lasting change.
Featured in magazines likeOprah Magazine and Women's
Health, her work has transformedhundreds of lives, doubling
incomes and catalyzing profoundpersonal and professional shifts
.
You're very welcome, Alyse.
Alyse Bacine (00:44):
Thanks for having me.
I'm excited to be here.
Aideen Ni Riada (00:46):
I'm so excited to have you.
I just came across you veryrandomly and I love when this
happens as like this lovelysynergy between us, and what I
am most curious about is thework that you're doing.
It's based around releasingtrauma, but I'm curious as to
(01:06):
how that changes someone'spersonal self-expression.
How do they move more deeplyinto you know, opening up to the
world once they are working onthat part?
Alyse Bacine (01:29):
part, yeah.
So I think a lot of people canget the word trauma, you know,
conflated with something that'slike this huge thing or this
horrible thing that happened toyou, and that's not usually the
case, you know.
Sometimes it is, but a lot oftimes what we're talking about
is just little things over time,things that you witnessed
growing up, the way you watchedyour parents relate to each
other, the way that they relatedto you, and just your general
(01:51):
environment will createprogramming.
It'll create beliefs that youbelieve to be true about
yourself and the world.
That will stop you fromaccessing the truth of who you
are and make you feel doubtfulor not confident or not worthy
or not valuable enough to fullyshow who you are Meaning.
(02:15):
Like you know, you might have adeep fear of criticism because
you know you felt emotionallyabandoned by your parents, or
you felt like they didn't seeyou for who you really are, or
they didn't acknowledge you forwho you really are.
So you are expecting that thepeople around you or the world
is going to reject you orcriticize you if you show who
(02:38):
you really are.
So a lot of people will waterthemselves down or they will,
you know, show up in a way wherethey are trying to prevent
themselves from being rejectedor criticized.
So they will show up in a waywhere they're trying to make
sure that everyone approves ofthem or likes them, or they're
trying to manage everyone else'sexperience of them so that they
(03:02):
can prevent that trauma fromhappening again.
So it really does directlyaffect the way that you're able
to access your truth, accessyour authenticity and then
express it to the world, Becauseit just won't feel safe until
you're able to pinpoint andaddress some of these deeper
(03:26):
reasons why.
Aideen Ni Riada (03:28):
For sure.
Like when I started my business, I worked a lot with people who
wanted to sing and a lot ofadults who want to sing have
been told no, you shouldn't sing.
And I've heard so many storiesof you know.
The young kid stands up,decides to improvise during the
audition perhaps, rather thansing off the hymn sheet, and
(03:49):
doesn't get into the choir.
And that in itself, apart fromother things that may have
happened in that person's lifeum, that rejection, it's
something that you know a kiddoesn't forget, especially
around singing.
But for me, I've noticed withpeople when they sing that they
really feel very vulnerable,because it's usually a part of
(04:09):
yourself, a very deep part ofyourself and very vulnerable
part of yourself, that you'rechoosing to express a more
emotional part of yourself whenyou sing.
So I can definitely see whatyou're saying has so much truth.
But there's so many layers tothat, like I even for myself the
times that I haven't steppedforward, the times I haven't
(04:32):
felt safe to do some of thethings or to take certain
opportunities during my life,but at the time you don't think
of it as you don't really thinkyou need to go back to figure
that out.
So I'm sure a lot of people arequite reluctant to take that
journey right.
Alyse Bacine (04:50):
Yeah, well, you know, I think that people can
have this perception thatthey're going to like open
Pandora's box and all of thesefeelings are going to come up or
all of these things are goingto surface and they're not going
to be able to deal with it.
And you know the way that Iwork and the way that I've
developed.
What I do is to make it so itdoesn't have to be that way and
(05:12):
really simplify it for you.
So this isn't about going anddigging up every single thing
that's happened to you in yourlife just for the purposes of
doing that.
I actually don't believe thatthat is necessary at all and I
don't think that people shoulddo that, because it only will
cause a lot of hurt and upsetand confusion and there's no
(05:33):
need for that.
So what I really like to look atis, well, what is the specific
thing that you're wanting tocreate, or the specific action
that you're wanting to take,that you feel stuck around or
blocked around?
And now let's look at what wasthe moment from your childhood,
or the belief you created, orthe thing that happened that is
(05:57):
creating this place of feelingstuck now, and let's address
that, and I've created a prettysimple process to do that, and
then you pair that with takingthe action, and then you use the
tools before and after tocreate an energetic shift so
that that action becomes easierand easier.
(06:18):
So I always say that it's veryimportant to pair the healing
with the action, because if youdon't, you're just going to kind
of be spinning around in likeyou'll get somewhere in the
beginning for sure, but thenI've seen this so many times
with people where if they don'tthen take the healing that
they've done and express it insome way through taking action,
(06:41):
through doing somethingdifferently, through taking a
new step in life, then it justkind of falls flat.
So I think we have to be ableto put those two things together
and also take what's happeningnow in your life to inform what
we need to look at from the past, so we're not just like
rummaging around through thegarbage trying to find things.
(07:03):
Like we know exactly what we'relooking for.
Aideen Ni Riada (07:05):
So it's very relevant to the person's life in
the moment.
Alyse Bacine (07:09):
Exactly.
Aideen Ni Riada (07:10):
And you're encouraging them to take some
very relevant action that mightmake a shift.
Do you believe in the idea offake it till you make it?
Alyse Bacine (07:23):
Yes and no.
I mean I think that that can'tbe your only strategy, because
that won't work.
Because, for example, there's areason why people do what they
do, meaning let's take theexample of people pleasing right
, because I think that'ssomething that a lot of people
struggle with.
So if we're looking at changingthat behavior, you know, if we
(07:47):
use the strategy of fake it tillyou make it, it would be like,
okay, well, just don't peopleplease, right until you stop.
And the reason why that willnever work is because there is a
deep reason why you peopleplease, and it was a coping
mechanism you created inchildhood to get your needs met,
to feel safe and to survive.
(08:09):
Because children have aninherent knowing that if their
caregivers don't love them,don't feel a connection with
them, then they're not going toget their needs met and they
won't survive.
That's just like an inherentknowing as a child.
So if you learn that you had toshow up a certain way in order
for your parents to approve ofyou or give you love, then
(08:29):
that's why you would havedecided to people please.
So if you just then now are like, okay, I'm just not going to
people please, that might workfor a small period of time, but
eventually it's going to feel souncomfortable and so unsafe to
you because in your body, yourinner child is literally being
like.
It's going to feel souncomfortable and so unsafe to
you because in your body, yourinner child is literally being
(08:49):
like I'm going to die if I keepdoing this, like I don't feel
safe.
So that's not a sustainable wayto do it.
However, if we pair that withaddressing your inner child, who
doesn't feel safe, for you know, whatever reason we pinpoint
and we use the tools that I'vecreated to reconcile that, and
(09:11):
we pair that with the fake ittill you make it strategy, then
it can work, because we're onthe other side.
We are addressing the reasonwhy you don't feel safe.
So then it'll gradually becomeeasier for you to make that
change and quote unquote fake ituntil you make it.
Aideen Ni Riada (09:29):
I just love this because I knew there was, I
knew I had a real connection.
I felt a real connection to youand your work.
And, as you're talking about it, I'm just.
I'm just thinking about all ofthe what I call the secret
singer concerts that I ran formy, for my students when I was
living back in Ireland, andthese people would come in with
(09:49):
that fear of you know, I've beentold I shouldn't sing, I'm not
a good singer, and I would, overthe course of eight weeks, have
them sing in front of theirpeers and their other students
and then eventually sing infront of a big group.
Sing in front of a big groupand to reassure them that it was
(10:12):
valuable for them to sing ifthey sang from the heart, rather
than it's only valuable if yousing beautifully or if you
perform to a certain standard.
And so I was basically takingthem through a kind of a version
of, you know, healing that withthat um, because they were
systematically buildingconfidence in themselves and
stepping beyond that fear andstarting to feel safe with their
(10:36):
, with a new group of people,with friends.
Man, I would say to people, youknow, not everyone wants to hear
you sing, right, but there'salways someone who will want to
hear you sing, and it could bedown in Ireland, down in the
local pub, it could be in the US, here around the campfire in
the summer.
So I really believe that youknow, when you have that feeling
(10:57):
in your body of I need to dothis like and I'm sure one of
the reasons people will come toyou is because they have a
knowing that there's somethingthey need to do.
What kind of clients have younoticed, have you know kind of
come to you?
What kinds of things do theysay?
That ache, that wanting, thatfeeling is where is that coming
(11:17):
from for them?
Alyse Bacine (11:19):
Yeah, I think a lot of it will be around knowing
that they're meant to dosomething more, and sometimes
they will have a pretty goodidea of what that is, but it
just feels a little bit scary.
Or they don't know how to getstarted, or they're doubting
themselves or they're like, canI really do this?
Or they might be more still inthat confusion.
(11:41):
You know part of the journeywhere they know they're meant
for more but they don't knowwhat it is and they are not
really allowing themselves tosee it because of the fear of
what that will mean or what theymight lose.
Or there's people that havejust kind of hit a plateau and
(12:01):
they're like well, I goteverything that I thought I
wanted, I created everythingthat I thought I wanted, but now
it feels like there's anotherstep for me and I'm not sure
what that is.
So you know it varies, but Ithink it's all around this idea
that there is another step forme and there's something
stopping me from getting thereand I need to look at, you know,
(12:26):
what that underlying fear is orwhat that underlying belief is
that's stopping me from, youknow, growing in this way or
expanding in this way, and thenthere'll be some people you know
that have.
They know there's a lot ofthings in their life that they
need to reconcile or make senseof.
You know where it's like.
(12:46):
Well, I wish my relationshipwas different and I, you know,
want to go further in my career,or I want to start a business,
and there's like all of theseissues that feel like they're
separate problems.
But actually, you know, in mylens it's just one thing what I
call your core wound, and theyneed to, like, make sense of all
(13:07):
of that and figure out how theywant to move forward.
So, you know it varies, butit's all just around something
stopping them from movingforward, and they're not able to
put their finger on what thatis.
Aideen Ni Riada (13:21):
And I know that you've gone through that.
Your journey has been thatright, because I could see from
reading about you that you'vemade big shifts as time went on
within your business thatallowed you to expand greatly.
Would you talk about your ownpersonal journey along that Like
the tangible ways that thethings that maybe you had to
(13:44):
handle, and just you know howdifferent your life can become?
Alyse Bacine (13:51):
Oh, yeah, for sure .
I mean.
You know it's a long journeyfor me.
I think the real place that itstarted was at age 19, when I
discovered breathwork, which wasin 2001.
And at that point in my life Iwas really struggling with an
eating disorder and anxiety.
And when I discoveredbreathwork it really transformed
(14:13):
everything for me and it gaveme a place to heal, a place to
understand why I was feelingwhat I was feeling and I was
able to really create a shift inmy own life from it.
And then, you know, fastforward to I became a school
counselor.
I did that for 10 years and then, when I started my business,
(14:34):
there's been so many shifts thatI have made in my life.
You know, one huge one is in myrelationship with my husband.
Before I started my business,it was more that he was the
breadwinner in the family and Iwas, you know, a school
counselor.
I did what I did and slowly,after I started my business, the
(14:56):
roles completely reversed and Ibecame the breadwinner.
He actually like works with mefor me in my business and our
roles have completely reversed,like in our relationship in my
business and our roles havecompletely reversed, like in our
relationship in our householdand you know it's been.
There's been a lot of bumps inthat road and really like
(15:17):
changing those roles, but Ithink we've done a pretty good
job.
It was very challenging, youknow, and I think there was a
lot of things that came up forme around when I left my job.
I was a school counselor and myparents were both teachers and
it was very scary for me to veeroff of this path that you know
(15:37):
my family went down.
That felt familiar to me andthere was so much that came up
around just feeling like I wasbeing not a good mom or I was
being, you know, irresponsible,and the fear of failure and the
self-doubt and like, can Ireally do this?
That was a huge thing that Ihad to overcome and you know I
(16:00):
also in my lineage.
There's so many issues aroundmoney and lack and scarcity and
I had to overcome all of that.
There was so many things.
I don't even know if I can listthem all, but I feel like I
always joke that the business isthe carrot that you dangle in
(16:21):
front of yourself in order to dothe deeper personal growth work
.
So I think it's always kind ofcalling you forward to evolve
and grow and look at things thatare hard to look at and walk
through the uncomfortableemotions or the beliefs that you
have that you don't want tolook at, or the decisions you've
made that you don't want tolook at, that you need to change
(16:44):
, and then you have to kind oflook at it and keep moving
forward.
So, um, so yeah, there's beenso many things and I'm happy to
go deeper into any of those Ijust didn't know like where to
where to focus.
Aideen Ni Riada (16:59):
Well, I admire you and I'm grateful to you for
doing what you've done, becausewhat you are doing is you're
stepping forward in a way thatcan know help people.
Um, they may not look for thathelp from anyone else, and I
really feel that's one of thebiggest reasons why I encourage
(17:22):
my own clients and students todo what they do, because they
influence a specific group ofpeople and, um, they may be the
only one who can can inspirethem in that way by you stepping
into who you fully are, who youare desiring to be, um, and
(17:43):
that's a good enough reason tostep into it.
Alyse Bacine (17:46):
you know just that desire, um yeah, and the other
thing I just want to say aboutthat too is, I think that all of
those things that I mentioned,what happens on the other side
of that is this like profoundlydeep level of inner knowing,
confidence like your work justgetting better and better, like,
(18:06):
over time, as I've walkedthrough all these things, just
my level of knowing of who I am,what I'm meant to do here, my
confidence in my work, myability to help people, my
ability to articulate it, thepower that I'm able to hold is
just completely on a wholenother level, because I was
willing to walk through all ofthose things.
(18:28):
And I think I always say that,as an entrepreneur, like the
only way you fail is if you stop.
But if you keep going,eventually you will succeed.
You will, you know, createsuccess.
And you know, I think somepeople stop at certain points
because they're like, oh well,this, this just means that I'm
not meant to do this, or maybethis isn't meant for me.
(18:49):
But if you keep going, that'show you access these deep levels
of power and these deep levelsof like just confidence in what
you do and knowing of yourabilities.
You know, and I think thatthat's a really important piece
of it too.
Aideen Ni Riada (19:05):
And so many people are very outwardly
focused, like very actionorientated, got to do this, but
what you're talking about hereand what your work really
involves, is turning more inward.
Alyse Bacine (19:17):
Yeah, for sure.
I mean it's all about the innerand you know, anytime people
come to me, I just had aconversation with someone right
before this who was like I don'tknow, you know, if I should be
in this relationship or not, andI'm like that's never the
question we ask, Like I neverwill start out asking that
(19:39):
question because once you do theinner work, all of those things
just become clear to you.
Like you don't need to askthose questions, you don't need
to mull over decisions, you justknow once you do the deeper
inner work, it's just so clear.
And that happens for everybody.
Aideen Ni Riada (19:51):
Yes, and what are you really running away from
?
Is it something that you needto look at?
Alyse Bacine (19:56):
Because there were relationships and that dynamic.
Aideen Ni Riada (19:59):
it's always a two-way street, right?
Yeah, I wanted to ask you aboutthis idea of you know, becoming
more confident, embodyingconfidence.
How does trauma prevent that?
Alyse Bacine (20:14):
Yeah, so you know, it's a lot around ways that you
decided that you didn't havevalue or you didn't feel worthy
or deserving, or you didn't feelthat who you really are is good
enough.
You know, and there's so manydifferent ways that that can
happen in childhood.
It can happen simply frominheriting it from your parents,
(20:37):
you know, inheriting theirbeliefs about themselves.
A lot of times we don't evenrealize that we identify with
our parents, especially our mom,because, when you think about
it, you were built from thecells of your mother, which,
literally, you took on herconsciousness.
So a lot of times as kids, ittakes a long time for us to even
(20:59):
have the awareness that we arenot the same person as our
mother.
You know, and we reallyidentify in a lot of ways with
them and who they thought theywere.
So a lot of times it can be assimple as you know your mom
believed that this is what shewas capable of in life, or your
mom believed this is what shewas worthy of and you just took
(21:19):
that on as your own.
Or it can be.
You know the way that yourparents related to you, the way
you watch them relate to eachother.
That created different beliefsabout you.
Know what you're capable of orwhat your value is or what you
need to hide about yourself inorder to be accepted.
(21:40):
So I think all of those thingswill create a way that you
interact with yourself and theworld.
That will make it so you don'tfeel confident because you feel
like there's all these thingsthat you need to hide about
yourself or all of these waysthat you are not deserving or
not valuable.
So it's going to create a levelof you know, just not feeling
(22:02):
confident in who you really areor able to access your full
power.
So when you do this work, youjust naturally start to be able
to access that.
I think one of the things thatalways blew my mind when I first
started doing the metamorphosiswith people is everybody would
come into this kind of awakeningaround their purpose and what
(22:26):
they're meant to do and thislevel of power and confidence in
it.
And you know it wasn't evensomething we really talked about
.
It was just from doing thedeeper work, it was just a
natural byproduct.
So I started to see over timethat, as people did the deeper
personal growth and trauma work,that would just happen, you
(22:47):
know, and it wouldn't besomething they would have to
work on or address, it justhappened.
Aideen Ni Riada (22:53):
Awesome.
So you've mentioned themetamorphosis program.
Um, would you like to tellpeople a little bit about that
and other ways that they couldwork with you, and perhaps even
you know if you have anysuggestions for people that may
not be ready to work with you,that you know?
You mentioned breath work.
Um, what, what do you thinkwould be good next steps for
(23:15):
people?
Alyse Bacine (23:17):
Yeah.
So there's plenty of differentways to you know dip a toe into
my work.
So the metamorphosis which youmentioned is that's my flagship
program.
That was the first program Iever created and it's still the
one.
That is the most importantthing to do in my world when
you're ready, because that'swhere you go through all of your
(23:39):
major relationships your birthstory, your mother wound, your
father wound and your siblingwound and you learn how to
disentangle from thoserelationships and pinpoint what
your core wound is and how it'sshowing up in your life.
And then you learn my innerchild healing process to
dissolve it and navigate it whenit comes up in your life.
(24:00):
So that's, you know, the the,and that's 12 weeks and that's
the the you know most importantway to work with me, meaning
that like when you're ready.
That's kind of like the body ofmy work.
However, as you said, breathworkis a huge part of my work.
It's something that I learnedvery young and it's a tool that
(24:22):
I use in everything that you dowith me.
So you know ways that you candip your toe in is.
I have a private podcast calledthe Core Wound Solution, where
I teach you the concept of thecore wound and how to pinpoint
what yours is and start theprocess of addressing it.
And I can give you the link forthat.
(24:43):
It's just, you know, you putyour email in and you can
download it.
That will be a great place tostart.
Also, I have you can downloadone of my breathwork sessions
and try that.
I can give you a link for that.
So you know there's plenty ofways to to dip your toe in
before you.
You know, jump in with bothfeet.
Aideen Ni Riada (25:01):
That's awesome and we will include those links
with the show notes and thankyou so much.
Is there anything, any words orany reminders that you'd like
to say to people before we startto wind up today?
Alyse Bacine (25:14):
Um, I guess I would just say that you know,
when we talk about the conceptof trauma, it's not always
something that has to be thishuge thing or has to take um, uh
, years in therapy to untangle.
It's just more looking at whatit is that you're wanting to
create in your life and if it isnot showing up in the way that
(25:37):
you desire, most likely there'ssomething that needs to be
addressed, and you know it'simportant to do that so that you
can move on and do what you'remeant to do in the world.
So I think that that's reallyimportant for people to
understand.
And also, you know that itdoesn't have to take forever, it
doesn't have to be superpainful, it doesn't have to be
(25:57):
this whole long thing.
It's just simply about removingwhatever is in your way from
becoming who you know you'remeant to be in the world.
Aideen Ni Riada (26:07):
Amazing, and that's really what it's all
about.
You know, is being.
It's like that flowering orblossoming of who you are as a
person.
So I'd just like to thank theour listeners.
Thank you so much for beinghere for this podcast.
Um, I'd encourage you toconnect with uh Alyse.
Alyse Bacine, and I'll beincluding all of her links below
(26:29):
, and and we're very gratefulthat you are listening and we
would love to hear from you.
So please give us you know,send us an email or get in touch
if you would like to.
Thanks again from the ResonatePodcast with Aideen.
I'm Aideen Ni Riada and I lookforward to having you listen in
another time in the future.
Thank you, bye-bye.
Welcome to the Resonate podcast with Aideen.
My name is Aideen Ni Riada andmy guest today Alyse Bacine.
Alyse is a pioneering traumahealer, a transformational
breathwork guide with over 23years experience.
She's the creator of theMetamorphosis Method and she
bridges clinical psychology andsomatic healing to help women
(00:26):
align their true purpose andcreate lasting change.
Featured in magazines likeOprah Magazine and Women's
Health, her work has transformedhundreds of lives, doubling
incomes and catalyzing profoundpersonal and professional shifts
.
You're very welcome, Alyse.
Alyse Bacine (00:44):
Thanks for having me.
I'm excited to be here.
Aideen Ni Riada (00:46):
I'm so excited to have you.
I just came across you veryrandomly and I love when this
happens as like this lovelysynergy between us, and what I
am most curious about is thework that you're doing.
It's based around releasingtrauma, but I'm curious as to
(01:06):
how that changes someone'spersonal self-expression.
How do they move more deeplyinto you know, opening up to the
world once they are working onthat part?
Alyse Bacine (01:29):
part, yeah.
So I think a lot of people canget the word trauma, you know,
conflated with something that'slike this huge thing or this
horrible thing that happened toyou, and that's not usually the
case, you know.
Sometimes it is, but a lot oftimes what we're talking about
is just little things over time,things that you witnessed
growing up, the way you watchedyour parents relate to each
other, the way that they relatedto you, and just your general
(01:51):
environment will createprogramming.
It'll create beliefs that youbelieve to be true about
yourself and the world.
That will stop you fromaccessing the truth of who you
are and make you feel doubtfulor not confident or not worthy
or not valuable enough to fullyshow who you are Meaning.
(02:15):
Like you know, you might have adeep fear of criticism because
you know you felt emotionallyabandoned by your parents, or
you felt like they didn't seeyou for who you really are, or
they didn't acknowledge you forwho you really are.
So you are expecting that thepeople around you or the world
is going to reject you orcriticize you if you show who
(02:38):
you really are.
So a lot of people will waterthemselves down or they will,
you know, show up in a way wherethey are trying to prevent
themselves from being rejectedor criticized.
So they will show up in a waywhere they're trying to make
sure that everyone approves ofthem or likes them, or they're
trying to manage everyone else'sexperience of them so that they
(03:02):
can prevent that trauma fromhappening again.
So it really does directlyaffect the way that you're able
to access your truth, accessyour authenticity and then
express it to the world, Becauseit just won't feel safe until
you're able to pinpoint andaddress some of these deeper
(03:26):
reasons why.
Aideen Ni Riada (03:28):
For sure.
Like when I started my business, I worked a lot with people who
wanted to sing and a lot ofadults who want to sing have
been told no, you shouldn't sing.
And I've heard so many storiesof you know.
The young kid stands up,decides to improvise during the
audition perhaps, rather thansing off the hymn sheet, and
(03:49):
doesn't get into the choir.
And that in itself, apart fromother things that may have
happened in that person's lifeum, that rejection, it's
something that you know a kiddoesn't forget, especially
around singing.
But for me, I've noticed withpeople when they sing that they
really feel very vulnerable,because it's usually a part of
(04:09):
yourself, a very deep part ofyourself and very vulnerable
part of yourself, that you'rechoosing to express a more
emotional part of yourself whenyou sing.
So I can definitely see whatyou're saying has so much truth.
But there's so many layers tothat, like I even for myself the
times that I haven't steppedforward, the times I haven't
(04:32):
felt safe to do some of thethings or to take certain
opportunities during my life,but at the time you don't think
of it as you don't really thinkyou need to go back to figure
that out.
So I'm sure a lot of people arequite reluctant to take that
journey right.
Alyse Bacine (04:50):
Yeah, well, you know, I think that people can
have this perception thatthey're going to like open
Pandora's box and all of thesefeelings are going to come up or
all of these things are goingto surface and they're not going
to be able to deal with it.
And you know the way that Iwork and the way that I've
developed.
What I do is to make it so itdoesn't have to be that way and
(05:12):
really simplify it for you.
So this isn't about going anddigging up every single thing
that's happened to you in yourlife just for the purposes of
doing that.
I actually don't believe thatthat is necessary at all and I
don't think that people shoulddo that, because it only will
cause a lot of hurt and upsetand confusion and there's no
(05:33):
need for that.
So what I really like to look atis, well, what is the specific
thing that you're wanting tocreate, or the specific action
that you're wanting to take,that you feel stuck around or
blocked around?
And now let's look at what wasthe moment from your childhood,
or the belief you created, orthe thing that happened that is
(05:57):
creating this place of feelingstuck now, and let's address
that, and I've created a prettysimple process to do that, and
then you pair that with takingthe action, and then you use the
tools before and after tocreate an energetic shift so
that that action becomes easierand easier.
(06:18):
So I always say that it's veryimportant to pair the healing
with the action, because if youdon't, you're just going to kind
of be spinning around in likeyou'll get somewhere in the
beginning for sure, but thenI've seen this so many times
with people where if they don'tthen take the healing that
they've done and express it insome way through taking action,
(06:41):
through doing somethingdifferently, through taking a
new step in life, then it justkind of falls flat.
So I think we have to be ableto put those two things together
and also take what's happeningnow in your life to inform what
we need to look at from the past, so we're not just like
rummaging around through thegarbage trying to find things.
(07:03):
Like we know exactly what we'relooking for.
Aideen Ni Riada (07:05):
So it's very relevant to the person's life in
the moment.
Alyse Bacine (07:09):
Exactly.
Aideen Ni Riada (07:10):
And you're encouraging them to take some
very relevant action that mightmake a shift.
Do you believe in the idea offake it till you make it?
Alyse Bacine (07:23):
Yes and no.
I mean I think that that can'tbe your only strategy, because
that won't work.
Because, for example, there's areason why people do what they
do, meaning let's take theexample of people pleasing right
, because I think that'ssomething that a lot of people
struggle with.
So if we're looking at changingthat behavior, you know, if we
(07:47):
use the strategy of fake it tillyou make it, it would be like,
okay, well, just don't peopleplease, right until you stop.
And the reason why that willnever work is because there is a
deep reason why you peopleplease, and it was a coping
mechanism you created inchildhood to get your needs met,
to feel safe and to survive.
(08:09):
Because children have aninherent knowing that if their
caregivers don't love them,don't feel a connection with
them, then they're not going toget their needs met and they
won't survive.
That's just like an inherentknowing as a child.
So if you learn that you had toshow up a certain way in order
for your parents to approve ofyou or give you love, then
(08:29):
that's why you would havedecided to people please.
So if you just then now are like, okay, I'm just not going to
people please, that might workfor a small period of time, but
eventually it's going to feel souncomfortable and so unsafe to
you because in your body, yourinner child is literally being
like.
It's going to feel souncomfortable and so unsafe to
you because in your body, yourinner child is literally being
(08:49):
like I'm going to die if I keepdoing this, like I don't feel
safe.
So that's not a sustainable wayto do it.
However, if we pair that withaddressing your inner child, who
doesn't feel safe, for you know, whatever reason we pinpoint
and we use the tools that I'vecreated to reconcile that, and
(09:11):
we pair that with the fake ittill you make it strategy, then
it can work, because we're onthe other side.
We are addressing the reasonwhy you don't feel safe.
So then it'll gradually becomeeasier for you to make that
change and quote unquote fake ituntil you make it.
Aideen Ni Riada (09:29):
I just love this because I knew there was, I
knew I had a real connection.
I felt a real connection to youand your work.
And, as you're talking about it, I'm just.
I'm just thinking about all ofthe what I call the secret
singer concerts that I ran formy, for my students when I was
living back in Ireland, andthese people would come in with
(09:49):
that fear of you know, I've beentold I shouldn't sing, I'm not
a good singer, and I would, overthe course of eight weeks, have
them sing in front of theirpeers and their other students
and then eventually sing infront of a big group.
Sing in front of a big groupand to reassure them that it was
(10:12):
valuable for them to sing ifthey sang from the heart, rather
than it's only valuable if yousing beautifully or if you
perform to a certain standard.
And so I was basically takingthem through a kind of a version
of, you know, healing that withthat um, because they were
systematically buildingconfidence in themselves and
stepping beyond that fear andstarting to feel safe with their
(10:36):
, with a new group of people,with friends.
Man, I would say to people, youknow, not everyone wants to hear
you sing, right, but there'salways someone who will want to
hear you sing, and it could bedown in Ireland, down in the
local pub, it could be in the US, here around the campfire in
the summer.
So I really believe that youknow, when you have that feeling
(10:57):
in your body of I need to dothis like and I'm sure one of
the reasons people will come toyou is because they have a
knowing that there's somethingthey need to do.
What kind of clients have younoticed, have you know kind of
come to you?
What kinds of things do theysay?
That ache, that wanting, thatfeeling is where is that coming
(11:17):
from for them?
Alyse Bacine (11:19):
Yeah, I think a lot of it will be around knowing
that they're meant to dosomething more, and sometimes
they will have a pretty goodidea of what that is, but it
just feels a little bit scary.
Or they don't know how to getstarted, or they're doubting
themselves or they're like, canI really do this?
Or they might be more still inthat confusion.
(11:41):
You know part of the journeywhere they know they're meant
for more but they don't knowwhat it is and they are not
really allowing themselves tosee it because of the fear of
what that will mean or what theymight lose.
Or there's people that havejust kind of hit a plateau and
(12:01):
they're like well, I goteverything that I thought I
wanted, I created everythingthat I thought I wanted, but now
it feels like there's anotherstep for me and I'm not sure
what that is.
So you know it varies, but Ithink it's all around this idea
that there is another step forme and there's something
stopping me from getting thereand I need to look at, you know,
(12:26):
what that underlying fear is orwhat that underlying belief is
that's stopping me from, youknow, growing in this way or
expanding in this way, and thenthere'll be some people you know
that have.
They know there's a lot ofthings in their life that they
need to reconcile or make senseof.
You know where it's like.
(12:46):
Well, I wish my relationshipwas different and I, you know,
want to go further in my career,or I want to start a business,
and there's like all of theseissues that feel like they're
separate problems.
But actually, you know, in mylens it's just one thing what I
call your core wound, and theyneed to, like, make sense of all
(13:07):
of that and figure out how theywant to move forward.
So, you know it varies, butit's all just around something
stopping them from movingforward, and they're not able to
put their finger on what thatis.
Aideen Ni Riada (13:21):
And I know that you've gone through that.
Your journey has been thatright, because I could see from
reading about you that you'vemade big shifts as time went on
within your business thatallowed you to expand greatly.
Would you talk about your ownpersonal journey along that Like
the tangible ways that thethings that maybe you had to
(13:44):
handle, and just you know howdifferent your life can become?
Alyse Bacine (13:51):
Oh, yeah, for sure .
I mean.
You know it's a long journeyfor me.
I think the real place that itstarted was at age 19, when I
discovered breathwork, which wasin 2001.
And at that point in my life Iwas really struggling with an
eating disorder and anxiety.
And when I discoveredbreathwork it really transformed
(14:13):
everything for me and it gaveme a place to heal, a place to
understand why I was feelingwhat I was feeling and I was
able to really create a shift inmy own life from it.
And then, you know, fastforward to I became a school
counselor.
I did that for 10 years and then, when I started my business,
(14:34):
there's been so many shifts thatI have made in my life.
You know, one huge one is in myrelationship with my husband.
Before I started my business,it was more that he was the
breadwinner in the family and Iwas, you know, a school
counselor.
I did what I did and slowly,after I started my business, the
(14:56):
roles completely reversed and Ibecame the breadwinner.
He actually like works with mefor me in my business and our
roles have completely reversed,like in our relationship in my
business and our roles havecompletely reversed, like in our
relationship in our householdand you know it's been.
There's been a lot of bumps inthat road and really like
(15:17):
changing those roles, but Ithink we've done a pretty good
job.
It was very challenging, youknow, and I think there was a
lot of things that came up forme around when I left my job.
I was a school counselor and myparents were both teachers and
it was very scary for me to veeroff of this path that you know
(15:37):
my family went down.
That felt familiar to me andthere was so much that came up
around just feeling like I wasbeing not a good mom or I was
being, you know, irresponsible,and the fear of failure and the
self-doubt and like, can Ireally do this?
That was a huge thing that Ihad to overcome and you know I
(16:00):
also in my lineage.
There's so many issues aroundmoney and lack and scarcity and
I had to overcome all of that.
There was so many things.
I don't even know if I can listthem all, but I feel like I
always joke that the business isthe carrot that you dangle in
(16:21):
front of yourself in order to dothe deeper personal growth work
.
So I think it's always kind ofcalling you forward to evolve
and grow and look at things thatare hard to look at and walk
through the uncomfortableemotions or the beliefs that you
have that you don't want tolook at, or the decisions you've
made that you don't want tolook at, that you need to change
(16:44):
, and then you have to kind oflook at it and keep moving
forward.
So, um, so yeah, there's beenso many things and I'm happy to
go deeper into any of those Ijust didn't know like where to
where to focus.
Aideen Ni Riada (16:59):
Well, I admire you and I'm grateful to you for
doing what you've done, becausewhat you are doing is you're
stepping forward in a way thatcan know help people.
Um, they may not look for thathelp from anyone else, and I
really feel that's one of thebiggest reasons why I encourage
(17:22):
my own clients and students todo what they do, because they
influence a specific group ofpeople and, um, they may be the
only one who can can inspirethem in that way by you stepping
into who you fully are, who youare desiring to be, um, and
(17:43):
that's a good enough reason tostep into it.
Alyse Bacine (17:46):
you know just that desire, um yeah, and the other
thing I just want to say aboutthat too is, I think that all of
those things that I mentioned,what happens on the other side
of that is this like profoundlydeep level of inner knowing,
confidence like your work justgetting better and better, like,
(18:06):
over time, as I've walkedthrough all these things, just
my level of knowing of who I am,what I'm meant to do here, my
confidence in my work, myability to help people, my
ability to articulate it, thepower that I'm able to hold is
just completely on a wholenother level, because I was
willing to walk through all ofthose things.
(18:28):
And I think I always say that,as an entrepreneur, like the
only way you fail is if you stop.
But if you keep going,eventually you will succeed.
You will, you know, createsuccess.
And you know, I think somepeople stop at certain points
because they're like, oh well,this, this just means that I'm
not meant to do this, or maybethis isn't meant for me.
(18:49):
But if you keep going, that'show you access these deep levels
of power and these deep levelsof like just confidence in what
you do and knowing of yourabilities.
You know, and I think thatthat's a really important piece
of it too.
Aideen Ni Riada (19:05):
And so many people are very outwardly
focused, like very actionorientated, got to do this, but
what you're talking about hereand what your work really
involves, is turning more inward.
Alyse Bacine (19:17):
Yeah, for sure.
I mean it's all about the innerand you know, anytime people
come to me, I just had aconversation with someone right
before this who was like I don'tknow, you know, if I should be
in this relationship or not, andI'm like that's never the
question we ask, Like I neverwill start out asking that
(19:39):
question because once you do theinner work, all of those things
just become clear to you.
Like you don't need to askthose questions, you don't need
to mull over decisions, you justknow once you do the deeper
inner work, it's just so clear.
And that happens for everybody.
Aideen Ni Riada (19:51):
Yes, and what are you really running away from
?
Is it something that you needto look at?
Alyse Bacine (19:56):
Because there were relationships and that dynamic.
Aideen Ni Riada (19:59):
it's always a two-way street, right?
Yeah, I wanted to ask you aboutthis idea of you know, becoming
more confident, embodyingconfidence.
How does trauma prevent that?
Alyse Bacine (20:14):
Yeah, so you know, it's a lot around ways that you
decided that you didn't havevalue or you didn't feel worthy
or deserving, or you didn't feelthat who you really are is good
enough.
You know, and there's so manydifferent ways that that can
happen in childhood.
It can happen simply frominheriting it from your parents,
(20:37):
you know, inheriting theirbeliefs about themselves.
A lot of times we don't evenrealize that we identify with
our parents, especially our mom,because, when you think about
it, you were built from thecells of your mother, which,
literally, you took on herconsciousness.
So a lot of times as kids, ittakes a long time for us to even
(20:59):
have the awareness that we arenot the same person as our
mother.
You know, and we reallyidentify in a lot of ways with
them and who they thought theywere.
So a lot of times it can be assimple as you know your mom
believed that this is what shewas capable of in life, or your
mom believed this is what shewas worthy of and you just took
(21:19):
that on as your own.
Or it can be.
You know the way that yourparents related to you, the way
you watch them relate to eachother.
That created different beliefsabout you.
Know what you're capable of orwhat your value is or what you
need to hide about yourself inorder to be accepted.
(21:40):
So I think all of those thingswill create a way that you
interact with yourself and theworld.
That will make it so you don'tfeel confident because you feel
like there's all these thingsthat you need to hide about
yourself or all of these waysthat you are not deserving or
not valuable.
So it's going to create a levelof you know, just not feeling
(22:02):
confident in who you really areor able to access your full
power.
So when you do this work, youjust naturally start to be able
to access that.
I think one of the things thatalways blew my mind when I first
started doing the metamorphosiswith people is everybody would
come into this kind of awakeningaround their purpose and what
(22:26):
they're meant to do and thislevel of power and confidence in
it.
And you know it wasn't evensomething we really talked about
.
It was just from doing thedeeper work, it was just a
natural byproduct.
So I started to see over timethat, as people did the deeper
personal growth and trauma work,that would just happen, you
(22:47):
know, and it wouldn't besomething they would have to
work on or address, it justhappened.
Aideen Ni Riada (22:53):
Awesome.
So you've mentioned themetamorphosis program.
Um, would you like to tellpeople a little bit about that
and other ways that they couldwork with you, and perhaps even
you know if you have anysuggestions for people that may
not be ready to work with you,that you know?
You mentioned breath work.
Um, what, what do you thinkwould be good next steps for
(23:15):
people?
Alyse Bacine (23:17):
Yeah.
So there's plenty of differentways to you know dip a toe into
my work.
So the metamorphosis which youmentioned is that's my flagship
program.
That was the first program Iever created and it's still the
one.
That is the most importantthing to do in my world when
you're ready, because that'swhere you go through all of your
(23:39):
major relationships your birthstory, your mother wound, your
father wound and your siblingwound and you learn how to
disentangle from thoserelationships and pinpoint what
your core wound is and how it'sshowing up in your life.
And then you learn my innerchild healing process to
dissolve it and navigate it whenit comes up in your life.
(24:00):
So that's, you know, the the,and that's 12 weeks and that's
the the you know most importantway to work with me, meaning
that like when you're ready.
That's kind of like the body ofmy work.
However, as you said, breathworkis a huge part of my work.
It's something that I learnedvery young and it's a tool that
(24:22):
I use in everything that you dowith me.
So you know ways that you candip your toe in is.
I have a private podcast calledthe Core Wound Solution, where
I teach you the concept of thecore wound and how to pinpoint
what yours is and start theprocess of addressing it.
And I can give you the link forthat.
(24:43):
It's just, you know, you putyour email in and you can
download it.
That will be a great place tostart.
Also, I have you can downloadone of my breathwork sessions
and try that.
I can give you a link for that.
So you know there's plenty ofways to to dip your toe in
before you.
You know, jump in with bothfeet.
Aideen Ni Riada (25:01):
That's awesome and we will include those links
with the show notes and thankyou so much.
Is there anything, any words orany reminders that you'd like
to say to people before we startto wind up today?
Alyse Bacine (25:14):
Um, I guess I would just say that you know,
when we talk about the conceptof trauma, it's not always
something that has to be thishuge thing or has to take um, uh
, years in therapy to untangle.
It's just more looking at whatit is that you're wanting to
create in your life and if it isnot showing up in the way that
(25:37):
you desire, most likely there'ssomething that needs to be
addressed, and you know it'simportant to do that so that you
can move on and do what you'remeant to do in the world.
So I think that that's reallyimportant for people to
understand.
And also, you know that itdoesn't have to take forever, it
doesn't have to be superpainful, it doesn't have to be
(25:57):
this whole long thing.
It's just simply about removingwhatever is in your way from
becoming who you know you'remeant to be in the world.
Aideen Ni Riada (26:07):
Amazing, and that's really what it's all
about.
You know, is being.
It's like that flowering orblossoming of who you are as a
person.
So I'd just like to thank theour listeners.
Thank you so much for beinghere for this podcast.
Um, I'd encourage you toconnect with uh Alyse.
Alyse Bacine, and I'll beincluding all of her links below
(26:29):
, and and we're very gratefulthat you are listening and we
would love to hear from you.
So please give us you know,send us an email or get in touch
if you would like to.
Thanks again from the ResonatePodcast with Aideen.
I'm Aideen Ni Riada and I lookforward to having you listen in
another time in the future.
Thank you, bye-bye.
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