Ep 12: Want to Be Respected? Tell People How You Want to Be Helped. (Part 1 of 2)

Do you struggle to ask for help, even when you're overwhelmed? Do you find yourself quietly hoping others will understand what you need without ever having to say it out loud?

In this powerful two-part episode of The Rest of Us Podcast, host Dana Tenille Weekes opens up about her own journey from silent strength to unapologetic self-advocacy. She explores how independence, when misapplied, can become a mask—one that isolates us and quietly demands that we carry everything alone.

Dana unpacks two of three mindset shifts that can help reframe the way you think about asking for help, not as a weakness, but as an act of self-respect. Alongside powerful storytelling, cultural critique, and actionable reflection, she invites listeners to pause, to reconsider the ego behind “doing it alone,” and to start naming how they want to be held, seen, and heard.

This episode closes with a full reading of Grandma Tells a Story About Forgiveness by Zia Wang, originally featured in last month’s episode, now read in full to honor Zia's work and community.

📝 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

●     Why avoiding help is often tied to identity, not capability

●     The hidden costs of the “do-it-alone” mindset

●     How the survival response of hyper-independence erodes rest and trust

●     Two key mindset shifts to practice:

○     Redefine respect as an action rooted in mutuality

○     Believe that people want to help you

●     Three takeaways under the second shift:

○     Help is not accommodation

○     You might be surrounded by people who can’t truly help

○     You may be prioritizing your “brand” over your being
 

●     The importance of surrounding yourself with a village capable of holding you

●     A poetic reading of Zia Wang’s Grandma Tells a Story About Forgiveness
 

💭 Reflection Prompts:

1. What do you believe about asking for help, and where did that belief come from?
    
2. In what ways have you confused being “helped” with being a “burden”?
   
   
3. Are you surrounding yourself with people who support your being, or people who expect your compliance?
     
4. What’s one way you can tell someone how you want to be helped this week?
    

📚 Featured Poem:

“Grandma Tells a Story About Forgiveness”
 by Zia Wang, published inKilling the Buddha
(A golden shovel poem after Kamala Das' My Grandmother’s House)

🔗 Mentioned in This Episode:

●     Previous episode: 5 Life Lessons Learned from Writing Poetry – Part 2

●     Killing the Buddha online journal

●     Dana’s poem: A Monarch Butterfly Won’t Witness Its Wings

●     Zia Wang’s poetry and community impact

 

If this episode feels like a message or mirror, feel free to share it with someone who is looking to think about rest differently.

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Until next time, rest, my friends.

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