May 19, 2025 • 22 mins
The inevitable transition from active parenting to empty-nesting stirs up a complex cocktail of emotions that many of us struggle to process. Frank and Darcie Montgomery open up about their painful yet beautiful journey as they prepare for their only son Hayden's high school graduation just days away. Their raw honesty captures the bittersweet reality of watching 18 years of daily hugs and shared moments transform into a new, uncertain chapter.
Through tears and vulnerable conversation, the Montgomerys challenge the harmful cultural narrative that strong people—especially men—must suppress their emotions. Looking to Jesus as the perfect model, they remind us that the Son of God himself wept openly, expressed righteous anger, and showed the full spectrum of human feelings throughout his ministry. This powerful biblical perspective affirms that our emotions aren't weakness but God-given signals that deserve acknowledgment and expression.
The couple explores the physical and psychological toll of bottling up emotions versus the healing that comes with healthy expression. They distinguish between feeling emotions and being controlled by them, offering practical wisdom for taking your feelings to God for transformation. As they navigate their own identity crisis of "who am I beyond being a parent?" they preview next week's deeper dive into finding our true identity in Christ rather than in temporary seasons or roles. Whether you're facing an empty nest, career transition, or any major life change, this episode offers both comfort and courage for the emotional journey ahead.
Send us your stories of restoration or prayer requests at therestoredcast@gmail.com—all prayer requests remain confidential and will be lifted up by Darcie, a passionate intercessor who will stand with you in prayer.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
you are listening to the restored podcast with frank
(00:18):
and darcy montgomery.
You are listening to theRestored Podcast with Frank and
Darcy Montgomery.
We're back with another episodeof the Restored Podcast.
My name is Frank and I'm herewith my beautiful and lovely
wife, Darcy.
Hey, I'm glad you're with ustoday.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Thank you, why wouldn't I be here?
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Well, you could be in the bed bawling your eyes out.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
That was yesterday.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Maybe tomorrow, but not today.
I do want us to really dig intoscripture, but I also want us
to talk about things that aregoing on in our life and what we
deal with and how we deal withit and how we live our life.
Hopefully, you know somethingthat God is teaching us,
something that God is showing uswe can help somebody else with.
So, with that being said, weare going through a lot of
(01:18):
different emotions right now.
We are going through a lot ofdifferent emotions.
Right now.
We are in the final days ofHayden's educational career.
I guess you would say we are inthe final days of what is
considered his childhood.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Right, and when you put it that way, that doesn't
hurt at all.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
We are a week and two days from our one and only
child graduating high school.
He has one week of school left,five days and technically I
mean technically he's turning inhis Chromebook tomorrow and
Friday.
I don't even think he's reallygoing to a class.
(02:05):
They have their seniorbreakfast and graduation
practice and then they'redismissed after that.
So really he has four days ofschool, which pretty much all
the work's been done.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Right.
No one prepares the parent forthis.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Oh man, I mean, I've seen friends on facebook and
social media years past wheneverthey would have kids graduating
and I I didn't understand it.
But now, just the emotionalroller coaster of the past few
weeks, and I know that this nextweek and a half is going to be
(02:45):
just as emotional.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Probably more.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
And it's a mixture of emotions.
It's not all sad, it's not allhappy, it's a mix, and one
minute I'm feeling sad becauseI'm losing, not losing.
I'm always going to be his dad.
He's always going to be myfriend.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
But there's a change, there's a difference.
It's not going to be whatyou're used to.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
I mean, for the past 18 years I've had this kid by my
side, under my roof every day,right, I mean there were, you
know, during summer when he'd goto grandparents for a week or
two, or summer camp, things likethat.
But for the past 18 years Ihave hugged his neck every day.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Right.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
And that's coming to an end, and our son, only our
son and I know other parentshave experienced this, but he's
not.
I mean, he's talking adifferent state, and so that's
even harder and it hit me acouple weeks ago when we were
working in the yard and I wasjust like but you're about to
(03:57):
leave, it's just going to be medoing the yard work, and that's
when it really me, and I justremember I was bawling that
night.
That was sadness, because it'slike a part of me is leaving.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
But there's also happiness and there's gladness
and gratefulness, and joy andexcitement and, you know, a
little bit of hesitation goingthrough all the pictures and
seeing.
I'm sorry that I made that up.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Just seeing everything that Hayden has done,
yeah, in these past few years,when he's been out with friends
and starting to see some of thepictures that you know of his
life, it's just, it's sad, butyet it's so rewarding to see
(04:50):
your child grow into a man andto have that life outside of his
parents and to see thefriendships that he's made, some
of his friends that he has now.
I have no doubt that they'lllast a lifetime.
And all that to lead us intowhat we wanted to talk about and
(05:10):
our emotions.
I think so much, so much.
More so for men, maybe, thanfor women.
But we're taught in America asmen, if you are a strong man, if
you are a man, men don't showtheir emotions, men don't cry,
men are stoic, and you helped merealize that that's just not
(05:33):
the case.
We're created in God's imageand the emotions that we have,
the emotions that we feel, theyare God-given emotions.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Absolutely, Even if they're hard, even if they're,
you know they are from.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
God.
They're from God, so we mustacknowledge them.
A.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Acknowledge that you're sad, acknowledge that
you're happy, acknowledge thatyou're mad, whatever that
emotion might be that you'refeeling.
First of all, you've got toacknowledge that you are feeling
that emotion, after youacknowledge that the Bible
(06:20):
instructs us to take thosefeelings to God.
If you're feeling sad, takethat sadness to God.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
And He'll give you joy.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
If you're worried.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
He'll give you peace.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Take it to God If you're happy he'll give you
peace.
Take it to God.
If you're happy, he'll multiplyit.
Take it to God and give himpraise.
Acknowledge those emotions,take those emotions to God.
But men, we're taught thatwe're not supposed to show
emotions and I've struggled withthis with Hayden and I'll ask
(07:01):
Hayden all the time you okay,you okay.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Dad, why do you?
Speaker 1 (07:07):
ask me if I'm okay.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
But the thing is is he comes to me and he tells me
he's open with me about how hefeels.
But he knows he's seen youproject those emotions, he's
seen you show them and not holdthem back.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
And I've been very intentional about that,
especially with him.
I've been very intentionalabout allowing him to see me cry
Right, allowing him to see mein those vulnerable moments
because, well, at least in mymind, I want to think that he
(07:41):
thinks of me as a manly man.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
He does.
He said that.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
And I want him to know that it's okay for a manly
man to cry.
And whenever I think about that, I think about Jesus, and so
many of the portraits we seeportray Jesus as this slim,
frail, smooth skin, smooth hand,as Hayden calls me.
But that couldn't be moreopposite from the truth.
(08:10):
Joseph, jesus's earthly father,was a carpenter by trade and so
, therefore, jesus was acarpenter.
I mean, back then, what yourdad did?
Your dad taught you how to dothat trade and you followed in
their footsteps and you couldn'tto be a carpenter back then.
(08:32):
I mean, you had to be strong.
You know, I picture Jesus beingvery fit, very muscular and
calloused hands, possibly scarsfrom splinters, you know, and I
look at that and I think, ok,jesus was a manly man when he
(08:57):
was here on earth, but yet Jesusacknowledged his emotions, and
one.
I don't know why this one comesto mind so much, but whenever
Lazarus died, jesus the Biblesays Jesus wept and Jesus
(09:18):
acknowledged that emotion ofsadness, because Lazarus was
Jesus' friend, lazarus was likea brother to Jesus and they were
very close.
And so, yes, when Lazarus died,jesus was sad.
But the thing that gets methere is Jesus acknowledged that
(09:40):
emotion of sadness.
Jesus allowed his body toexpress those emotions by him
weeping.
And it says Jesus wept.
It didn't say Jesus cried, itdidn't say Jesus shed a tear, it
says Jesus wept.
It didn't say Jesus shed a tear, it says Jesus wept.
And so whenever I think of that, whenever I think of somebody
(10:03):
weeping, I think ofuncontrollable tears.
I mean your belly is shaking,you know, just uncontrollable
Loud.
And I think of that and I thinkof Jesus acknowledging that
sadness and allowing his body toexpress that emotion that he
(10:24):
had.
But here's the kicker he knewjesus knew lazarus wasn't dead
forever right, that's powerfulhe knew jesus knew he was about
to raise lazarus from the dead,but yet in that moment he was
sad and in that moment of hissadness he allowed his body to
(10:44):
express that emotion.
And because of that, I thinkthere's a couple of things that
you and I can learn from that.
In the first being, well, likewe talked about earlier, the
scripture tells us that you knowto take all things to God.
So when we experience thoseemotions, we take them to God
(11:07):
and we, we are thankful for theability to feel those emotions
and to allow God to work throughus through those emotions, god
to work through us through thoseemotions.
But I think that that's aclearer picture of Jesus saying
look, allow your body to expressthose emotions of sadness.
If your body wants to cry, letit cry, right.
(11:31):
If your body wants to laugh,let it laugh.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
And it's just not.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
it's not just men, women are, you know, as bad at
hiding those and pressing thosedown, and you know you have to
let them out well, at the end ofthe day, we're emotional beings
, right um, we are in a skin, weare in a body, but our souls
are emotional beings.
(11:59):
And when we hold those emotionsin, when we don't allow
ourselves to express thoseemotions, when we hold them in,
it does things to our body, itwears our bodies down.
Our bodies aren't meant to holdthose emotions in.
Our bodies are meant to expressthose emotions, to emit those
(12:27):
emotions out of us.
If you hold those emotions in,it'll age you, it'll mess with
your nervous system, it'll messwith your digestive system,
it'll mess with all thesedifferent systems in your body,
to where they're not functioningcorrectly.
And that's because God createdyour body in a manner to express
those emotions and to not holdthem in.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
And that took me a long time to understand and you
helped me to understand that.
Actually, because I am aemotional person, I'm a
sensitive person, I feel things,I you know, and I would try to
just push that down and ignoreit, and it didn't work out well.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Now it's kind of a kind of a fine line.
You're supposed to express youremotions, right, but yet you
don't want those emotions tocontrol you.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Right, you don't want to react on those emotions or
act on those emotions.
Either one.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
I mean the same thing with anger.
Anger is an emotion that youfeel and it can be a healthy
emotion to feel, but if you acton that anger and you act out of
that anger, it can cause you tosin, it can cause you to do
things, it can cause you to saythings that you don't want to
say, things you don't want to do, and that, personally, is an
(13:49):
emotion that I struggled with.
Whenever I would get angry, Iwould just lose all control and
completely regret everythingthat I said and did whenever I
was angry, and that's why theBible teaches you to be slow to
anger slow to speak slow tospeak and you work on those
(14:11):
fruits of the spirit, youharvest those and that helps you
to not react like that.
And so just because you getangry doesn't necessarily mean
you're sinning.
You can be mad, all thosethings, and when you're mad,
when you're angry, take that toGod, take that anger to God and
(14:32):
allow God to change that angerfrom anger to peace.
From anger to peace, I meanagain looking at Jesus, jesus
got angry whenever he went intothe temple, and they were, you
(14:53):
know, using it as a place ofbusiness.
That pissed Jesus off.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
And it said that he was indignant with righteous
anger, right, and he wentflipping tables and and that and
that is justified as arighteous anger.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
but again jesus allowed his emotions to be
displayed and, like I wastelling you, he had a lot of
emotions.
There's parts in scripturewhere he was filled with
compassion and pity.
There's places where he was,like you said, filled with the
anger.
There's places where he feltgrief and sadness and betrayal,
(15:44):
and that was all just in thegarden.
Um, he expressed his emotionslike all of them, on the whole
spectrum.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
So these emotions that we're feeling, they're not
necessarily bad and it's not.
It's okay to cry.
I have to tell myself that it'sokay to cry because you know,
and I've been, and you'retelling me it's not going to
work, but I'm going to make itwork.
I'm trying to get all my tearsout now.
(16:15):
I'm doing everything I can.
I'm looking at pictures, I'mwatching videos from Hayden's
FFA banquet.
I'm doing whatever I can do toget all the tears out now.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
So when graduation day comes, I can be that strong
dad.
You're not going to, you'regoing to be like a sobbing pile
of putty.
You're going to be gone andthat's okay.
That's okay.
That is a lot of stuff comingout.
All those emotions are going tobe coming out that day.
We're both going to be balling.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
We're both going to be balling, and so I guess the
main thing that I wanted toreiterate for me and you, but be
anybody else that's listeningis it's OK to have those
emotions.
You're supposed to have thoseemotions, those emotions are God
given because you're sad itdoesn't mean that your faith is
(17:16):
low.
Right.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
And sometimes we condemn ourselves and say well,
why, if my faith is in God andit's so strong, why am I sad?
Because that's an emotion fromGod and he will use it to grow
you motion from God and he willuse it to grow you.
You know you talked aboutgrieving.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
I do feel like I'm grieving right now.
Well, you are grieving becausewe are ending a season of our
life, right, and it's been along season of raising a child
and it's changed a little bitover, you know, as Hayden's
(18:01):
grown.
But now it's going to be acompletely new season and, I
think, another.
You know, along with theemotional roller coaster that
we've been on, the uncertaintyof the future and what that
looks like for me and you, andwe're going to dig into this
(18:24):
next week but to leave thelisteners with a little preview.
So many times we put ouridentity of who we are in that
(18:45):
season that we're currently inand just because we're in a
season, just because God has usdoing something right now, that
that's not our complete identity.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Right.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
And I know you're struggling with that because for
the past 18 years for the mostpart you've been a stay-at-home
mom.
You've dedicated your entirelife to this home, to raising
Hayden when I worked.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
I mean, I worked for you, and so I was still able.
If Hayden had something orHayden needed something, I was
still right there.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
So yes, I am struggling with that, and those
are again the emotions thatwe're feeling are part of it.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Right.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
But have those emotions, express those emotions
.
Don't be afraid to share thatyou're sad, don't be afraid to
share that you're unsure of whatthe future looks like.
But also, when you're feelingthose things, take those things
to God and allow God to changethose.
Turn your sadness into joy.
(19:55):
To turn your unsure angst intopeace, to turn your anger into
joy.
All those things, take it toHim, allow Him to do that.
And then, like I said, nextweek I want us to dive into our
identities in Christ and we'llstart a Bible study.
(20:17):
And next week I'm just warningeverybody, it's probably going
to be a little more emotionalfor us, but we'll dive into that
identity and what our identityis in Christ.
And again, so many times wetend to put our identity in what
(20:39):
God has us doing at that moment, in that season of our life.
But that's not necessarily ourwhole identity, that's just a
part of it, of it.
And so, until next week, bepraying for Darcy that she's not
a complete emotional wreck.
(20:59):
Thank you in advance.
As always, we'd love to connectwith you at the Restored Podcast
.
You can find us on Facebook atthe Restored Podcast.
Find our Facebook page.
You can also email us attherestoredcast at gmailcom.
Send us your testimonies, yourstories of restoration where God
(21:26):
has changed your life andrestored something in your life,
in your marriage, in yourchild's life, whatever it might
be.
If you have a prayer request ofsomething that you are needing
restored in your marriage, inyour child's life, whatever it
might be, if you have a prayerrequest of something that you
are needing restored in yourlife, by all means send it.
Those prayer requests will bekept private.
The only person that we willshare that prayer request with
is God and I guarantee you, ifyou do send in a prayer request,
(21:47):
my amazing wife, who is anintercessor, she will take those
requests before God and Iguarantee you that she will be
agreeing with you, whatever thatprayer request might be.
So until next time, my name isFrank and I've been alongside my
(22:09):
beautiful wife, darcy.
You've been listening to theRestored Podcast.
you are listening to the restored podcast with frank
(00:18):
and darcy montgomery.
You are listening to theRestored Podcast with Frank and
Darcy Montgomery.
We're back with another episodeof the Restored Podcast.
My name is Frank and I'm herewith my beautiful and lovely
wife, Darcy.
Hey, I'm glad you're with ustoday.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Thank you, why wouldn't I be here?
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Well, you could be in the bed bawling your eyes out.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
That was yesterday.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Maybe tomorrow, but not today.
I do want us to really dig intoscripture, but I also want us
to talk about things that aregoing on in our life and what we
deal with and how we deal withit and how we live our life.
Hopefully, you know somethingthat God is teaching us,
something that God is showing uswe can help somebody else with.
So, with that being said, weare going through a lot of
(01:18):
different emotions right now.
We are going through a lot ofdifferent emotions.
Right now.
We are in the final days ofHayden's educational career.
I guess you would say we are inthe final days of what is
considered his childhood.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Right, and when you put it that way, that doesn't
hurt at all.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
We are a week and two days from our one and only
child graduating high school.
He has one week of school left,five days and technically I
mean technically he's turning inhis Chromebook tomorrow and
Friday.
I don't even think he's reallygoing to a class.
(02:05):
They have their seniorbreakfast and graduation
practice and then they'redismissed after that.
So really he has four days ofschool, which pretty much all
the work's been done.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Right.
No one prepares the parent forthis.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Oh man, I mean, I've seen friends on facebook and
social media years past wheneverthey would have kids graduating
and I I didn't understand it.
But now, just the emotionalroller coaster of the past few
weeks, and I know that this nextweek and a half is going to be
(02:45):
just as emotional.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Probably more.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
And it's a mixture of emotions.
It's not all sad, it's not allhappy, it's a mix, and one
minute I'm feeling sad becauseI'm losing, not losing.
I'm always going to be his dad.
He's always going to be myfriend.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
But there's a change, there's a difference.
It's not going to be whatyou're used to.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
I mean, for the past 18 years I've had this kid by my
side, under my roof every day,right, I mean there were, you
know, during summer when he'd goto grandparents for a week or
two, or summer camp, things likethat.
But for the past 18 years Ihave hugged his neck every day.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Right.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
And that's coming to an end, and our son, only our
son and I know other parentshave experienced this, but he's
not.
I mean, he's talking adifferent state, and so that's
even harder and it hit me acouple weeks ago when we were
working in the yard and I wasjust like but you're about to
(03:57):
leave, it's just going to be medoing the yard work, and that's
when it really me, and I justremember I was bawling that
night.
That was sadness, because it'slike a part of me is leaving.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
But there's also happiness and there's gladness
and gratefulness, and joy andexcitement and, you know, a
little bit of hesitation goingthrough all the pictures and
seeing.
I'm sorry that I made that up.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Just seeing everything that Hayden has done,
yeah, in these past few years,when he's been out with friends
and starting to see some of thepictures that you know of his
life, it's just, it's sad, butyet it's so rewarding to see
(04:50):
your child grow into a man andto have that life outside of his
parents and to see thefriendships that he's made, some
of his friends that he has now.
I have no doubt that they'lllast a lifetime.
And all that to lead us intowhat we wanted to talk about and
(05:10):
our emotions.
I think so much, so much.
More so for men, maybe, thanfor women.
But we're taught in America asmen, if you are a strong man, if
you are a man, men don't showtheir emotions, men don't cry,
men are stoic, and you helped merealize that that's just not
(05:33):
the case.
We're created in God's imageand the emotions that we have,
the emotions that we feel, theyare God-given emotions.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Absolutely, Even if they're hard, even if they're,
you know they are from.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
God.
They're from God, so we mustacknowledge them.
A.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Acknowledge that you're sad, acknowledge that
you're happy, acknowledge thatyou're mad, whatever that
emotion might be that you'refeeling.
First of all, you've got toacknowledge that you are feeling
that emotion, after youacknowledge that the Bible
(06:20):
instructs us to take thosefeelings to God.
If you're feeling sad, takethat sadness to God.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
And He'll give you joy.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
If you're worried.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
He'll give you peace.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Take it to God If you're happy he'll give you
peace.
Take it to God.
If you're happy, he'll multiplyit.
Take it to God and give himpraise.
Acknowledge those emotions,take those emotions to God.
But men, we're taught thatwe're not supposed to show
emotions and I've struggled withthis with Hayden and I'll ask
(07:01):
Hayden all the time you okay,you okay.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Dad, why do you?
Speaker 1 (07:07):
ask me if I'm okay.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
But the thing is is he comes to me and he tells me
he's open with me about how hefeels.
But he knows he's seen youproject those emotions, he's
seen you show them and not holdthem back.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
And I've been very intentional about that,
especially with him.
I've been very intentionalabout allowing him to see me cry
Right, allowing him to see mein those vulnerable moments
because, well, at least in mymind, I want to think that he
(07:41):
thinks of me as a manly man.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
He does.
He said that.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
And I want him to know that it's okay for a manly
man to cry.
And whenever I think about that, I think about Jesus, and so
many of the portraits we seeportray Jesus as this slim,
frail, smooth skin, smooth hand,as Hayden calls me.
But that couldn't be moreopposite from the truth.
(08:10):
Joseph, jesus's earthly father,was a carpenter by trade and so
, therefore, jesus was acarpenter.
I mean, back then, what yourdad did?
Your dad taught you how to dothat trade and you followed in
their footsteps and you couldn'tto be a carpenter back then.
(08:32):
I mean, you had to be strong.
You know, I picture Jesus beingvery fit, very muscular and
calloused hands, possibly scarsfrom splinters, you know, and I
look at that and I think, ok,jesus was a manly man when he
(08:57):
was here on earth, but yet Jesusacknowledged his emotions, and
one.
I don't know why this one comesto mind so much, but whenever
Lazarus died, jesus the Biblesays Jesus wept and Jesus
(09:18):
acknowledged that emotion ofsadness, because Lazarus was
Jesus' friend, lazarus was likea brother to Jesus and they were
very close.
And so, yes, when Lazarus died,jesus was sad.
But the thing that gets methere is Jesus acknowledged that
(09:40):
emotion of sadness.
Jesus allowed his body toexpress those emotions by him
weeping.
And it says Jesus wept.
It didn't say Jesus cried, itdidn't say Jesus shed a tear, it
says Jesus wept.
It didn't say Jesus shed a tear, it says Jesus wept.
And so whenever I think of that, whenever I think of somebody
(10:03):
weeping, I think ofuncontrollable tears.
I mean your belly is shaking,you know, just uncontrollable
Loud.
And I think of that and I thinkof Jesus acknowledging that
sadness and allowing his body toexpress that emotion that he
(10:24):
had.
But here's the kicker he knewjesus knew lazarus wasn't dead
forever right, that's powerfulhe knew jesus knew he was about
to raise lazarus from the dead,but yet in that moment he was
sad and in that moment of hissadness he allowed his body to
(10:44):
express that emotion.
And because of that, I thinkthere's a couple of things that
you and I can learn from that.
In the first being, well, likewe talked about earlier, the
scripture tells us that you knowto take all things to God.
So when we experience thoseemotions, we take them to God
(11:07):
and we, we are thankful for theability to feel those emotions
and to allow God to work throughus through those emotions, god
to work through us through thoseemotions.
But I think that that's aclearer picture of Jesus saying
look, allow your body to expressthose emotions of sadness.
If your body wants to cry, letit cry, right.
(11:31):
If your body wants to laugh,let it laugh.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
And it's just not.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
it's not just men, women are, you know, as bad at
hiding those and pressing thosedown, and you know you have to
let them out well, at the end ofthe day, we're emotional beings
, right um, we are in a skin, weare in a body, but our souls
are emotional beings.
(11:59):
And when we hold those emotionsin, when we don't allow
ourselves to express thoseemotions, when we hold them in,
it does things to our body, itwears our bodies down.
Our bodies aren't meant to holdthose emotions in.
Our bodies are meant to expressthose emotions, to emit those
(12:27):
emotions out of us.
If you hold those emotions in,it'll age you, it'll mess with
your nervous system, it'll messwith your digestive system,
it'll mess with all thesedifferent systems in your body,
to where they're not functioningcorrectly.
And that's because God createdyour body in a manner to express
those emotions and to not holdthem in.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
And that took me a long time to understand and you
helped me to understand that.
Actually, because I am aemotional person, I'm a
sensitive person, I feel things,I you know, and I would try to
just push that down and ignoreit, and it didn't work out well.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Now it's kind of a kind of a fine line.
You're supposed to express youremotions, right, but yet you
don't want those emotions tocontrol you.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Right, you don't want to react on those emotions or
act on those emotions.
Either one.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
I mean the same thing with anger.
Anger is an emotion that youfeel and it can be a healthy
emotion to feel, but if you acton that anger and you act out of
that anger, it can cause you tosin, it can cause you to do
things, it can cause you to saythings that you don't want to
say, things you don't want to do, and that, personally, is an
(13:49):
emotion that I struggled with.
Whenever I would get angry, Iwould just lose all control and
completely regret everythingthat I said and did whenever I
was angry, and that's why theBible teaches you to be slow to
anger slow to speak slow tospeak and you work on those
(14:11):
fruits of the spirit, youharvest those and that helps you
to not react like that.
And so just because you getangry doesn't necessarily mean
you're sinning.
You can be mad, all thosethings, and when you're mad,
when you're angry, take that toGod, take that anger to God and
(14:32):
allow God to change that angerfrom anger to peace.
From anger to peace, I meanagain looking at Jesus, jesus
got angry whenever he went intothe temple, and they were, you
(14:53):
know, using it as a place ofbusiness.
That pissed Jesus off.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
And it said that he was indignant with righteous
anger, right, and he wentflipping tables and and that and
that is justified as arighteous anger.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
but again jesus allowed his emotions to be
displayed and, like I wastelling you, he had a lot of
emotions.
There's parts in scripturewhere he was filled with
compassion and pity.
There's places where he was,like you said, filled with the
anger.
There's places where he feltgrief and sadness and betrayal,
(15:44):
and that was all just in thegarden.
Um, he expressed his emotionslike all of them, on the whole
spectrum.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
So these emotions that we're feeling, they're not
necessarily bad and it's not.
It's okay to cry.
I have to tell myself that it'sokay to cry because you know,
and I've been, and you'retelling me it's not going to
work, but I'm going to make itwork.
I'm trying to get all my tearsout now.
(16:15):
I'm doing everything I can.
I'm looking at pictures, I'mwatching videos from Hayden's
FFA banquet.
I'm doing whatever I can do toget all the tears out now.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
So when graduation day comes, I can be that strong
dad.
You're not going to, you'regoing to be like a sobbing pile
of putty.
You're going to be gone andthat's okay.
That's okay.
That is a lot of stuff comingout.
All those emotions are going tobe coming out that day.
We're both going to be balling.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
We're both going to be balling, and so I guess the
main thing that I wanted toreiterate for me and you, but be
anybody else that's listeningis it's OK to have those
emotions.
You're supposed to have thoseemotions, those emotions are God
given because you're sad itdoesn't mean that your faith is
(17:16):
low.
Right.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
And sometimes we condemn ourselves and say well,
why, if my faith is in God andit's so strong, why am I sad?
Because that's an emotion fromGod and he will use it to grow
you motion from God and he willuse it to grow you.
You know you talked aboutgrieving.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
I do feel like I'm grieving right now.
Well, you are grieving becausewe are ending a season of our
life, right, and it's been along season of raising a child
and it's changed a little bitover, you know, as Hayden's
(18:01):
grown.
But now it's going to be acompletely new season and, I
think, another.
You know, along with theemotional roller coaster that
we've been on, the uncertaintyof the future and what that
looks like for me and you, andwe're going to dig into this
(18:24):
next week but to leave thelisteners with a little preview.
So many times we put ouridentity of who we are in that
(18:45):
season that we're currently inand just because we're in a
season, just because God has usdoing something right now, that
that's not our complete identity.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Right.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
And I know you're struggling with that because for
the past 18 years for the mostpart you've been a stay-at-home
mom.
You've dedicated your entirelife to this home, to raising
Hayden when I worked.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
I mean, I worked for you, and so I was still able.
If Hayden had something orHayden needed something, I was
still right there.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
So yes, I am struggling with that, and those
are again the emotions thatwe're feeling are part of it.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Right.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
But have those emotions, express those emotions
.
Don't be afraid to share thatyou're sad, don't be afraid to
share that you're unsure of whatthe future looks like.
But also, when you're feelingthose things, take those things
to God and allow God to changethose.
Turn your sadness into joy.
(19:55):
To turn your unsure angst intopeace, to turn your anger into
joy.
All those things, take it toHim, allow Him to do that.
And then, like I said, nextweek I want us to dive into our
identities in Christ and we'llstart a Bible study.
(20:17):
And next week I'm just warningeverybody, it's probably going
to be a little more emotionalfor us, but we'll dive into that
identity and what our identityis in Christ.
And again, so many times wetend to put our identity in what
(20:39):
God has us doing at that moment, in that season of our life.
But that's not necessarily ourwhole identity, that's just a
part of it, of it.
And so, until next week, bepraying for Darcy that she's not
a complete emotional wreck.
(20:59):
Thank you in advance.
As always, we'd love to connectwith you at the Restored Podcast
.
You can find us on Facebook atthe Restored Podcast.
Find our Facebook page.
You can also email us attherestoredcast at gmailcom.
Send us your testimonies, yourstories of restoration where God
(21:26):
has changed your life andrestored something in your life,
in your marriage, in yourchild's life, whatever it might
be.
If you have a prayer request ofsomething that you are needing
restored in your marriage, inyour child's life, whatever it
might be, if you have a prayerrequest of something that you
are needing restored in yourlife, by all means send it.
Those prayer requests will bekept private.
The only person that we willshare that prayer request with
is God and I guarantee you, ifyou do send in a prayer request,
(21:47):
my amazing wife, who is anintercessor, she will take those
requests before God and Iguarantee you that she will be
agreeing with you, whatever thatprayer request might be.
So until next time, my name isFrank and I've been alongside my
(22:09):
beautiful wife, darcy.
You've been listening to theRestored Podcast.
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