Your thoughts are more powerful than you know!
As Henry Ford once said, "Whether you think you can, or think you can't - you're right." Modern research backs this up. Your belief about yourself and your potential can make or break you.
Join us as I interview pastor, thought leader, and author Darrell MacLearn for an insightful conversation on how limiting beliefs may be holding you back... and learn how to overcome them to become the best version of yourself.
Connect with Darrell on social media using his personal account or visit https://a.co/d/6GGkDaW to check out his new book 'The Unmeasured Life' today!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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(00:11):
Hello and welcome to another episode of the Rev RX Podcast.
My name is Chad Potts and I'm your host, and today I'm so
excited to introduce you to my friend Daryl McLaren.
Daryl has been a friend and a mentor for me over the last
several years. You're going to love what he has
to say. Today, the topic of our
conversation is going to be limiting beliefs.
(00:31):
You might have heard the quote by Henry Ford.
Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right.
You see, evidence and research has showed us that the beliefs
we have about ourselves, our abilities, our potential, our
future, they can really make us or break us.
And a lot of times, The thing is, we don't even realize that
we hold these beliefs until we dig in a little bit deeper.
(00:52):
So join us for a conversation today about how to unlock your
potential, how to identify the things, the beliefs, the thought
processes that may be holding you back, and how to really and
truly lean into the life that you were created to live.
I can't wait to delve into this topic with you because this is
one that I have personally struggled with a lot in my life.
(01:12):
And if it hadn't been for some of Daryl's leadership in my
life, I wouldn't be where I am today.
So I've lived this out. This is truth, people.
This really works. And I can't wait for you to meet
my friend Daryl. Daryl, thank you so much for
joining. Us.
Yeah. Good to be here, man.
Yeah, so Daryl has been a mentorand a coach for me over the
(01:35):
years. Just one of those people who you
come to count on and love and appreciate.
And Daryl, what a privilege it is to have you on the show
today. I want you just to tell our
listeners though, a little bit about how you got to where you
are today. You're into some really
interesting things. You've had a couple pivots
career wise in in your life. And so just tell us a little bit
(01:58):
about where you are, how you gothere.
Yeah, wow, a lot involved in that going all the way back.
Let me just take you back to high school.
I was pretty average, just C student, no confidence.
I played some sports and basketball and track, but I
(02:22):
lacked a lot of confidence. Really didn't thrive much in
school was one of those kids that's picked on a little bit.
I I don't know that I would say Chad, that I was bullied by
today's standards of of the wordthat we're throwing around being
bullied. But I was, you know, church boy,
preacher kid, All of those things picked on a little bit,
(02:44):
but I was just kind of by myselfand and just never really had
any confidence. Never really believed that I
would amount to much and graduated high school, went on
to Bible college and or went on to college.
NW Nazarene University, same story.
C student is not really anything.
(03:07):
Dropped out of school, got married, just kind of running
from God. When I was 5, I felt called to
be a missionary and I really didn't know what that meant
until I started looking at my dad's life, my grandfather's
life and my great grandfather and a little bit his life and
realized that, you know, I'm a fourth generation pastor.
(03:27):
And I thought, God, you got the wrong guy.
I do not want what I saw in my family's life when it came to
the struggles of ministry and those types of things.
I thought, let's go into business.
And so I ran from God, dropped out of school, ran from God, but
I still lacked direction. I lacked meaning, lacked
(03:47):
purpose, lacked confidence. And Flagstaff, AZ we're married.
I'm sitting at my couch in Flagstaff, AZ when God really
got a hold of my life. And it was at that point that I
knew that he was calling me. And we made a decision at that
point to go to Bible college andit's I had a belief shift and
(04:11):
we're going to talk a little bitabout that.
I think some beliefs and limiting beliefs, but I had a
shift in my beliefs when I really believed that God called
me, that he chose me and he wanted.
Me and changed things. It definitely changed things.
I got to Bible college and I became a straight A student.
I went from just getting by to getting straight A's was the the
(04:31):
long preacher of the year that year at Bible college, won
awards for Bible reading, you know, just kind of all of a
sudden excelling and then went on staff with my dad after Bible
college and started seminary, graduated with honors from
seminary and with the the Dean academic Dean's award recipient.
(04:55):
And as I was thinking back aboutthat, I was thinking, you know,
what shifted, what really moved from average get by just just
making it to excelling in some things.
And there was a shift. It it at that moment where I
really believe something different.
I believe something different about God and I believe
(05:16):
something different about myselfand that what he was calling me
to do and what he wanted me to step into.
And that was kind of the, the, the journey of, of that first
shift. But then reality happens, right?
It's like I'll get involved in ministry.
And now I'm pastoring a church and having some success and took
a small church and grew up pretty quick, grew up a little
(05:39):
too quick, created some ministryleadership vacuums and some
struggles there. And then I started to question
things. And then I started to compare
things and I started to look at myself in comparison to the
other pastors on the district and, and those who were really,
you know, good and, and, and started saying, who am I God,
(06:00):
you know, and, and, and I don't know really how that whole shift
took place, but kind of driftingback into that, who am I that
you would want me? And some of those challenges and
struggles with really trying to identify and find my identity
and ministry, find my identity and myself and Christ and who I
(06:20):
am and, and what he's called me to, to be and do.
And there was always this tug tomissions.
But in my mind, missions was always something across water.
You know, you had to, you had togo and you had to leave
everything. And yet I came to realize that
God was calling me to be a missionary right here.
And we realized that we were surrounded by thousands and
(06:44):
thousands of people who are not banging down the door of the
church to get in. And so we started planting
churches and houses and coffee shops and bars and clubs and
anywhere where people were, you know, had a whole movement
towards the the witch and Pagan kind of, you know, they're not
banging down the church, the door of the church to get in.
(07:06):
But Jesus loves them and, and weshould love them.
And so just really felt God calling me to reach those who
we're outside the walls. And there was a kind of a new
breadth of confidence, a new beginning there that stepped
(07:26):
into some stuff and started building some stuff and started
growing. And then the Free Methodist
Church saw what we were doing and we ended up in Arizona
helping them launch that. And that was all great until an
embezzlement took my job, my career, my everything.
And, and now we found ourself going, wait a minute, who are
we? What are we doing?
(07:47):
And a big shift took place and we found ourselves owning A
liquidation company and being inbusiness and a shift from
ministry to business. And now it was a fish out of
water. Had no clue what I was doing.
I was back to that place of identity.
And I just really don't know whoI am and struggled through a lot
(08:10):
of that. And then we had some marriage
struggles and some things in ourin our marriage that we almost
lost our marriage and that was crumbling.
And found myself back in Albuquerque, NM, working at a
roofing company with some leadership development and
trying to use my gifts and abilities in a context that was
(08:32):
just eating my lunch. I ended up in depression.
I hated getting out of bed, hated going to work.
I was making excellent money, but realizing that the money was
meaningless because I hated getting up.
And I was not being who God called me to be.
(08:54):
And I was not using the gifts that he'd given me and the
talents that he'd given me in the aspect of ministry and and
really impacting people's lives.There's a whole podcast in that.
Yeah. And it was just, it was just a
long journey of of almost hopelessness.
And my wife and I, Robin, came to a place of realizing that
(09:17):
it's not worth it. And during that process, though,
we had gone to Tony Robbins, unleashing the power within in
Florida, and we walked on fire. I let my wife go first.
You know, 2000° colds. You go first, baby, if it
doesn't. But there was something that
happened in that moment where our beliefs shifted.
(09:42):
The belief that, you know, we can do hard things.
The belief that, man, I never believed I could do.
And all of a sudden, we're doingsomething.
And we stepped into personal growth and development, which
you would think, Chad, you wouldthink that that would be one of
the aspects in the church world that would be far more
prevalent. It's just not the personal
(10:03):
growth and development where we're really investing and
growing who we are. And so we started reading, we
started diving into personal growth and development.
And it was a big shift that tookplace at that time in our
marriage and in what we believed.
And so at that point, we, we said, let's burn the ships.
We walked away from, you know, avery, very nice salary, put it
(10:26):
on the table. My dad was dying of cancer and I
couldn't be with him. So we said I'm done.
And we started marriage coachingactually was our first move and
shift into helping people in a different way.
We had solved some things in ourmarriage and we we were able to
really correct some of that. And so we started helping others
(10:47):
and that shifted from marriage coaching into life coaching.
We added life coaching and I wasable to be with my dad when he
died. I cared for him for four months
because we had stepped out of the traditional, stepped out of
the conventional, stepped out ofwhat everybody expected.
And you just, yeah, your job sucks.
Suck it up and go do it to what do we really want to do?
(11:10):
And can we reinvent ourselves? And here I'm pushing 50, you
know, those around 50. And I'm pushing 60, you know,
and it's, can I really reinvent myself?
And since then, we've reinventedourselves several times.
And now we find ourself in a coaching World, Health coaches,
personal trainers, you know, when you're 59 and Robin's 60,
(11:34):
just over 60 and you're getting new degrees in, in personal
training, She's certified personal trainer.
I'm certified personal trainer, senior fitness specialist,
corrective exercise specialist. We're working on fall
prevention. You know, it's like, when do you
start doing that? You know, 5859, you know, it's
(11:56):
like, but we've, we've just cometo this place of believing
differently, that we can reinvent ourselves, We can do
things differently. And so now we find ourself, we
still struggle with some of those challenges and beliefs,
but we find ourself at a really exciting place in life, just
looking forward to what's coming, what's next.
(12:20):
And it's a struggle, but, and that's a, that's a like, oh, 59
years. There you go, Jack. 60 years and
10 minutes, right? It's been, it's been so
inspiring. You've, you've been, you've been
key in my life in a lot of different ways and in ways you
probably don't know or realize. And I've been inspired by you so
(12:42):
much because I see what you and Robin are doing and there's
always this heart to help you that that's been the common
theme since I've known you several years now has been this
common theme. If I want to help people.
And let me tell you, brother, you do that.
You do that in a lot of ways. Thank you.
And so with me starting this entrepreneurial journey,
(13:06):
starting this podcast journey, there were many times where I've
had these thoughts of who am I? I've had these thoughts of
nobody wants to hear me. Nobody wants to hear your voice.
You're a nobody, those what you call limiting beliefs that have
(13:29):
the capability to stop you in your tracks and keep you from
living out the life God's calledyou to live.
And in our time together throughcoaching and that sort of thing,
and in the time where we spent time together, you've LED a
seminar on those limiting beliefs.
And it's one of the most beneficial things that I've been
a part of in the last five yearsof my life because there's been
(13:52):
so many times where I've been onthis journey feeling like, OK,
God, God has called me to this, exactly what I'm doing, what
we're doing today. God has called me to this, but
lacking the belief system, lacking the, the positive self
talk that you need to keep you moving forward a lot of times.
So I've gone back and I've referenced what did Darrell say
(14:15):
about that? And so I couldn't wait to have
you on a podcast because throughthis journey, I've leaned back
on some of your teachings and I can't wait to share your
teachings with, with my audience.
And so you're, you're a man of, of many talents, but I want to
hold in on one of them for thosein our audience that may not be
all that familiar with limiting beliefs, although I dare say
(14:36):
we've probably all experienced them.
We just may not have had the words to call them.
How would you define those and how do they show themselves in
our lives? I think it's, it's pretty
simple. It's a belief that limits our
potential, any belief that we hold that holds us back.
You know, a man's walking down the road and sees an elephant.
And we've probably all seen the picture of an elephant with a
(14:59):
little rope tied around. It's a huge leg tied to a little
stake in the ground. I mean, the stakes sticking out
of ground this far and the ropesabout this long and, and it's
tied to this elephant's leg. And the guy's walking down the
road, he sees this elephant and he automatically thinks there's
no way that that elephant, if that elephant wanted to, he just
(15:20):
lifts his leg. How in the world does that
little rope and that stake keep that elephant from leaving,
Right. So he asked the trainer, the
elephant trainer that was nearby, and he says, I got to
know. I got to know how you keep an
elephant attached with a rope and a stake.
The elephant trainer just said, it's very simple.
When the elephant was just a little baby, just really young,
(15:41):
we tied his leg to a stake that he couldn't pull.
And here's the statement that catches me.
And he was conditioned to believe that that rope could
hold him still and that he couldnot break free.
He was conditioned to believe it.
And I think, Chad, I think that's really, for me, that is
(16:02):
the story of limiting beliefs that through our life, we've
been conditioned to believe certain things that keep us
stuck. Here's the truth.
The rope did not hold the elephant.
What held the elephant was a belief about the rope.
Yeah, well. The rope and the stake were
(16:24):
simply there, and we all know the truth.
And here's the here's the big thing.
We like to think that beliefs and truth are the same thing.
We think that because we believeit.
It is truth. Yes.
So the truth is that that elephant could just simply lift
his leg and walk away and he could be free.
(16:50):
The belief is that he's been conditioned through time to hold
that that rope is where he's stuck.
He can't move further. That describes so many people
today doesn't. It does.
It does. I, and I think you said it a
minute ago, the truth is we all all, I don't know that there's
(17:11):
anyone that doesn't have a limiting belief.
Even after we've conquered A limiting belief, We there's this
next layer of yeah, but you know, it's like, I've done some
stuff, but I could never do that.
Yeah. And I've done some stuff and,
and this person might go you really, I don't see that in you.
I, I, you've got so much confidence, you've got so much,
(17:34):
yet there's still this sticking point.
It's, it's very fascinating to me.
As we were talking about doing this, I, I needed to hear your
story, Chad. And I'll just tell you very
honestly why this has sat on theshelf for a long time.
Because because here's the truth, I didn't believe that it
(17:55):
was good enough. Well.
I didn't believe that it was going to have the impact that
you just described. And I, I teach limiting beliefs,
my friend. And yet we all have them and we
conquer them at different levelsand we conquer them at different
rates of time, right? But if we're not working on
them, we're never growing. Well, you're.
(18:18):
Never going to just disappear. And in your story, you described
this period where you would havethis newfound confidence, but
then there's this tendency to kind of fall back into some of
those old habits. Yeah.
And limiting beliefs are the same, you know?
And it's another one of those situations.
With every challenge in life comes this this process of I
(18:42):
don't know if I can handle that.Yeah.
And and let's face it, life is going to throw us curveballs on
a regular basis. It's done it with you in your
life. It's done in my life.
That's just the way life works, right?
Our life is unpredictable. We never know what's going to
come up next. And there's this, there's this
thought process of, huh, I don'tthink I can handle that.
(19:05):
Yeah. When I think about you, I think
of an incredible mind, an incredible coach like you.
You just have a way with words and you have a way of, of being
able to kind of meet people where they are.
That is rare. And I just, in my mind, I always
just think, well, Darrell's always been that way.
But when I hear that story of the things that you've overcome
(19:28):
and the places where you've been, and there's been, there's
been places of darkness. Yeah, there's been places of
brokenness, you know, looking atwhat you overcome to get to
where you are today. And, you know, I love that this
this whole concept of look at the journey, you know, look,
look at the path, don't look at the destination.
(19:48):
I think that's super, super powerful.
So those limiting beliefs that we have, can you give us some
examples of what that might looklike in our?
Life. Yeah.
So here's the thing. That's our limiting beliefs show
up in how we talk to our self, whether verbally or non
verbally. They show up in in our negative
self talk. They show up in the words and
(20:09):
the sentences we use. And here's what I found, Chad.
It's very interesting. Very rarely would we ever talk
to somebody else the way we talkto our self.
Correct. We would never say you stupid
idiot. And yet that's the way we talk
to ourselves, right? And, and so when we start
listening and I, I like to say, think about what you think about
(20:30):
when we start listening to ourself and what are the most
common sentences we, we start using, we'll start to hear.
I can't, I shouldn't, I, I, I'm too, I'm this, I'm that.
And they're all from a negative perspective.
And negative self talk is one ofthe quickest ways to identify
the surface level limiting beliefs, but limiting beliefs,
(20:51):
we have beliefs and we have dominant beliefs.
We have we have beliefs that areunder the surface and way
subconscious. And we have these dominant
beliefs. And I let me just explain real
quick for your audience that thedifference between a belief and
a dominant belief. Yeah, that's important.
I believe that Jesus died for everybody.
But then I have a dominant belief that I'm unworthy.
(21:13):
The dominant belief is what's going to drive my actions.
I believe everybody should eat healthy.
My dominant belief is it's too expensive.
So I can have a belief about something, but I hold this
dominant belief. The dominant belief will always
drive our behavior. It will always drive our
actions. And so we have, we have these
(21:34):
beliefs and we say I can't. This and can't is always a a
word that lends itself to a limiting belief.
It's I can't afford it. I can't, I'm too old.
I can't, I can't write a book. I'm too old.
I can't start a new business. I'm too old.
You know, Colonel Sanders started his business when he was
(21:56):
65 with $100.00 of his Social Security check.
And now we have Kentucky Fried Chicken.
And why do I think that I can't?Because my age, my age doesn't
determine my ability, but we've attached that to it.
So limiting beliefs are, are easily identified or most
quickly identified, I should say, in listening to our
(22:17):
negative self talk about what wecan't do or how we're too old or
too ugly or too this or too heavy or too thin or too, you
know. So those are the things that I
think help us identify the limiting beliefs first.
Yeah, there was this phrase growing up that that we had
can't, never could. Right.
(22:38):
And, and I latched on to that and I still say that in my
family. I can't say that in the.
Christine about that word and our brain.
I love brain science. I love what's happening in the
brain. So the word can't trigger
something in the brain. The brain is always trying to
prove us right, so as soon as wesay I can't, the brain goes and
(23:00):
looks for all the evidence to show that.
Fascinating. OK.
OK, so I say I can't afford it. I can't afford a coach.
I can't afford your program. I can't afford whatever the
brains going to go. Yeah, because remember you just
had that bill or you remember that just happened or remember
you've got this expense or remember and it starts to gather
(23:22):
all the evidence to support the can't.
OK. As soon as you shift that from
and I can't to a how can I, yourbrain tries to go solve the
problem. So I can't afford it.
Or better question is get can't out of there and say how could I
(23:44):
afford that? And all of a sudden the brain
goes, well, have you seen the stuff in building up in your
garage that you haven't used for30 years?
What if you sold this and you got rid of that and you got rid
of that and I haven't used that for 30 years and my health is
more important than that. All of a sudden instead of the I
can't afford it, the brain went to solve the problem and give
you a solution because you shifted from AI can't to a How
(24:09):
can I? That is so powerful.
That's what the brain, the brainis trying to prove you right.
We're familiar and I know you are.
A lot of people may not have heard of our Ras, our reticular
activating system. Reticular activating system of
the brain is the part of our brain that's filtering the
things we care about and don't care about.
(24:30):
Could you imagine, Chad, if you're driving down the road and
every sense and every object andeverything, is it all that you,
you pay attention to all of it, It'll be so overwhelming.
You couldn't you? You couldn't do it.
So we have to have a system in our brain that filters out
things that don't matter. You're shopping for a car,
(24:50):
right? And all of a sudden you start
seeing those cars. All of them.
Were they never there in the 1stplace?
No, they've always been there. Then why didn't you see them?
Because you didn't care about them, right?
That your Ras, your reticular activating system was filtering
them out so that you only saw the things that you were
interested in, that were important to you, the things you
(25:11):
cared about, the things you toldyourself that you wanted, that
were important to you. And I think this is where it's
really cool with limiting beliefs.
And it's kind of where you can see I get a little excited about
this stuff because this is whereit's really cool.
If we really understood how the reticular activating system
worked, we could use it to our advantage.
(25:31):
Unfortunately, most people don'teven know it's going on, so it
just happens to them. But if we understand that the
reticular activating system takes what we care about and
starts showing us that stuff. But why is it that I always see
my failures? Because that's all I care about.
(25:52):
It's what I've told myself. See, I did it again.
And the brains going, yeah, let me prove you right, it's over
here too. And see that failure drive by
and see that one drive by. And I'm just going to start
showing you all the stuff you say you care about, right.
What would happen if we started reprogramming our reticular
activating system? And we started with some
strategies to to really be able to say, oh, look, and I
(26:14):
succeeded there and I succeeded.You know what?
I've got a lot of evidence around me that I'm not what they
said I am. I'm not what my uncle did.
I'm not what my dad said. I'm not that.
But my teacher said you'd never amount to anything.
Look, I've amounted there and there and there and all of a
sudden, hey, yeah, God, can you use this?
(26:40):
God wants to use us for greatness.
God wants us to use us for big things.
God wants to take us and use it and make a difference in
people's lives. And yet we limit God's
unlimited. And we limit because all we see
is what we've asked the reticular activating system to
show us. And, and what makes that so
(27:03):
impactful is because that can free us from beliefs that have
been holding us back our entire lives.
Yeah. I can't tell you how many people
from a pastoral perspective thatI see that have this long
standing belief about themselvesthat came from something that
they were told as a child, right.
And I'll give I'll give an example of that when I was a
(27:27):
child and I was not told these words specifically, but through
actions and through things. There were several things in my
life, whether it be through ballor whether it be through, you
know, different coaches and different experiences that told
me I'm not good enough. You're not good enough to start,
you're not good enough to make this team.
(27:47):
You're not good enough to do this or that.
We have to be careful. The message we're sending to
children. Let me just say that because
some of the things we say to them, we have to be careful
because some of those, some of those things stick.
And so for a lot of my life, I've had this limiting belief
that I'm I'm not good enough. And when I look at, OK, the
(28:09):
things that I've accomplished and, and what I have, and this
isn't a pat on the back for Chad, but it's just when you
look at reality versus you look at the that the lies that you
believe, you see how much you'vebeen held back by it.
There are people, there are people who, you know, their dads
have told them, particularly men, their dads have told them
something like you'll never amount to anything.
(28:29):
You'll never be this, you'll never be that.
And they believe that their whole lives.
And it's very much like that elephant.
You know, they could easily overcome it.
However, that belief keeps them stuck.
Yeah. Another thing I'll mention too
is not only do we have to be careful what we say to people
from a negative standpoint, the opposite also stands true as
(28:53):
well. I'm so as we were talking about,
you know, the impact you've madein my life, I'm kicking myself.
Well, man, why have I not told him that sooner?
Because that activates that reticular activating system to
say, you know, hey, and that other person, now they're
thinking instead of man, I'm notgood enough.
I'm not Oh, OK, well, hey, this is an example of when I was good
(29:14):
enough. This was an example of when that
did impact people. And then you start looking for
those SO11 comment can make someone stuck.
Yeah, Can I appreciate that, man?
I appreciate you saying what yousaid today.
I will catalog that now as evidence that, you know, Daryl,
you are good enough. And this program, this, this,
(29:35):
this seminar on limiting beliefsis a good quality.
Can I improve it? Absolutely.
I think that's the other thing. If we get overcome that limiting
belief, we come to the place of realizing that we may not be
where we want to be. But it's that journey of but I
have the skills and abilities tomake this one notch better and I
(29:55):
have the skilleties and abilities to make that 1 notch
better. And can I improve upon this?
And can I? Because it's a growth process,
not a, you know, I went from starting a podcast and a week
later I'm at my let you know, it's like, but can I learn
something from his journey? Can I learn something from her
journey that I can implement this week?
(30:16):
And I think that's the other part of this limiting belief
conversation. Chad is.
That when we. Strive to overcome limiting
beliefs. We have to identify it, but then
we also have to recognize the lie that's in it and the truth
aside it. Yeah, that that challenge, yeah.
Because once I recognize the truth, then I can start my
reticular activating system working off of that truth to
(30:38):
find the evidence that yes, I can move forward.
So instead of you know, I'm so stupid to the truth is I can.
Learn. And a lot of times we don't know
what we don't know until we don't know it, right?
But a lot of times we're hard onourselves on the backside, like
man, why didn't you? Well, we didn't know what we
(30:58):
didn't know at that point. And so using what you're given,
using what you've learned to improve is always part of it.
One of the activities that you had us doing that seminar,
Darryl, was to look at the beliefs that we are holding, the
things they're limiting us keeping for, for example, you're
not good enough and challenge that belief.
(31:19):
Is that true? That was one of the things I
walked away from is all right. Think about the way you talk to
yourself, ask yourself, is that true?
And if it's not true? And 99% of the time it's not if
it's not true, then what is the truth that that was a powerful
example of how to how to go about this.
(31:40):
So as we kind of wrap up here, what what are some things our
listeners could do to become incrementally better today?
Yeah. First say this about that
exercise. One of the things we have to be
careful of is we will be very quick to say, but it is true
because challenging the truth ishard.
(32:04):
And I'll be the first to tell you, overcoming limiting
beliefs. Yeah, there's three simple
steps, but they're hard. Yeah, because challenging the
truth, we're so conditioned to believe that our beliefs are
truth. Yeah, that's good.
And the other thing is challenging the truth sometimes
isn't directly related to the truth.
I have to see it a completely different way.
(32:26):
So for example, you know, I'm not good enough.
That's the lie is that in that that, you know, I'm attaching an
identity to something I did hereand and making that my identity.
The truth is I can learn. So when we say is it true or
(32:50):
not, we tend to stay back here with am I stupid or not stupid
and it's a this or that. It's a stupid, not stupid.
Yeah, Dichotomy, yeah. Versus what's the truth?
The truth is I have the ability to learn.
God gave me a brain and it works.
Now the truth is I can learn newthings.
(33:12):
I can learn. You know, if you take any
industry, you know I'm not a rocket scientist.
When it comes to rocket science,I'm stupid.
You know that's the truth, right?
But the truth is, I can learn. And if I started investing my
life in learning rocket science,guess what?
I would have a year from now, two years from now, three years
(33:33):
from now, I would have a degree in rocket science and I would no
longer be quote, UN quote, stupid in rocket science.
Well, I like that. And so sometimes we need to
really shift how we how we thinkabout the truth.
The truth is God gave me a brain.
It works, I can learn. And.
(33:54):
It is, you know, what if I looked at my life right now, not
not mine because I'm not there anymore, but I'm unhealthy, you
know, I'll never be healthy. The truth is I'm unhealthy.
Well, what's the truth? The truth is I can make
different decisions on how I eatfood.
I can make this different decisions on how I go to the
gym. God gave me a body.
My legs work, my arms work. You know, even if my legs didn't
(34:15):
work and I'm in a wheelchair, I can still learn to do chair
yoga, chair this, chair that. But so many times, well, there's
my belief is I can't get healthybecause I'm stuck in a
wheelchair. And so I think that's important
in that. Now, I totally segwayed to your
actual question, Chad, I'm sorry.
No, that's great. And and one thing I want to add
(34:36):
there is, OK, you may be that right now, but you don't have to
stay there. Yeah.
And and that's important that I'm so glad you went there.
So yeah. Continue so the how TOS how to
you know what's something that your audience can do to make
incremental steps forward. I think one thing is embed new
truths, embed new beliefs, and that really is about taking the
(35:00):
reticular activating system and making things new and different.
So one of the challenges that I love to have people do is win
journals, micro wins. What are my little wins today?
What did I do well today? What did I do right today?
And write that stuff down and start seeing it.
Gratitude journals, things whereyou start to help yourself start
(35:20):
to see the new evidence that's already all around you, see your
wins instead of always seeing the name.
You're, you're conditioned and, and you know, your brain is
going to always be trying to pull you back because that, you
know, neuroplasticity is that those pathways in our brain that
are so grooved and ingrained. Neuroplasticity basically means
(35:42):
you can create a new pathway, but that one's still there for a
while. And that's why it's so hard to
overcome our limiting beliefs because we have years, 50 years
of being told and telling ourself the lie over and over
and over again that the brain's just going, oh, wait a minute,
what are you doing here? That's a deep groove.
So I think helping helping people just start small of re
(36:06):
identifying their wins, their gratitude, their their
observation about life, challenging the lies,
challenging the the belief and just really questioning the rope
that ties them down. Because here's the truth in
every single one of us, Chad, God has given us everything we
(36:27):
need to be successful. If we're not, it's because we've
got a limiting rope that we are just believing is stuck there.
And we're stuck to that rope, right?
And all we have to do sometimes is lift our leg and show, prove
it. Otherwise, just prove it.
Just lift the leg and go try it.Go try.
Step into writing that book. Step into starting a podcast.
(36:48):
Step into getting healthy. Step into, you know, people go.
I don't have time. That's a limiting belief.
Yeah. You believe you don't have time
to get healthy. My first client shows up at the
gym at 4:00. Guess who's there with him.
Does it suck to get out of bed? And yes.
But you know what? I have a job.
I have a a mission. Some of the busiest people in
(37:11):
the world have time. To work out.
So I can't afford it. Challenge the belief.
Just challenge it. Ask yourself, how can I?
How can I find time? How can I afford it?
How can I start that book? How can I start that podcast?
How can I get this limiting beliefs course back in
circulation and make a difference in people's lives?
(37:34):
So you challenged me today, Chad, to actually take my work
and do something with it. Love it, love.
So thank you. Well, and, and part of what I
teach and coach in the Rev RX method, it's called the Abundant
Life Framework. And I pull that from John 1010,
which has always been one of my favorite verses that Jesus says
he's come so we may have life and have it abundantly.
(37:56):
Yeah, One of the things I want to mention about that is that
limiting beliefs keep us from living abundantly.
They keep us from living to life.
God's called us to live. And if we're going to step into
that, if we're going to really, you know, live God's best and
not settle for less than what heintended for us, like you said,
he intended for us to be great for him.
Yeah, great for the Kingdom. And so those things keep us from
(38:20):
reaching our potential in Christ.
It's living to the fullest capacity of who God's created me
to be. Yes.
It's living into the fullest capacity of who God's created me
to be. Yeah, and that's an ongoing
changing process. I love it.
(38:40):
He's created us, he's given us, and he's got a mission for us
and a call in our lives. Doesn't matter who you are.
And it's really living into that.
Love it man. Well, thanks for being you.
Thanks for being such an important figure in my life and
and many others. I love what you're doing.
I can't wait to see what the future holds for you and man
(39:01):
just love you. Appreciate you brother.
Likewise, my friend, you're awesome.
Thanks for being here. Thank you.
Thank you for listening to the Rev RX Podcast.
We hope you enjoyed what you heard today and if so, we'd love
it if you would hit that subscribe button so that you'll
never miss a new episode from us.
Also, feel free to leave us reviews and comments as we'd
love to hear from you. Be blessed and be the very best
(39:23):
you.
Hello and welcome to another episode of the Rev RX Podcast.
My name is Chad Potts and I'm your host, and today I'm so
excited to introduce you to my friend Daryl McLaren.
Daryl has been a friend and a mentor for me over the last
several years. You're going to love what he has
to say. Today, the topic of our
conversation is going to be limiting beliefs.
(00:31):
You might have heard the quote by Henry Ford.
Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right.
You see, evidence and research has showed us that the beliefs
we have about ourselves, our abilities, our potential, our
future, they can really make us or break us.
And a lot of times, The thing is, we don't even realize that
we hold these beliefs until we dig in a little bit deeper.
(00:52):
So join us for a conversation today about how to unlock your
potential, how to identify the things, the beliefs, the thought
processes that may be holding you back, and how to really and
truly lean into the life that you were created to live.
I can't wait to delve into this topic with you because this is
one that I have personally struggled with a lot in my life.
(01:12):
And if it hadn't been for some of Daryl's leadership in my
life, I wouldn't be where I am today.
So I've lived this out. This is truth, people.
This really works. And I can't wait for you to meet
my friend Daryl. Daryl, thank you so much for
joining. Us.
Yeah. Good to be here, man.
Yeah, so Daryl has been a mentorand a coach for me over the
(01:35):
years. Just one of those people who you
come to count on and love and appreciate.
And Daryl, what a privilege it is to have you on the show
today. I want you just to tell our
listeners though, a little bit about how you got to where you
are today. You're into some really
interesting things. You've had a couple pivots
career wise in in your life. And so just tell us a little bit
(01:58):
about where you are, how you gothere.
Yeah, wow, a lot involved in that going all the way back.
Let me just take you back to high school.
I was pretty average, just C student, no confidence.
I played some sports and basketball and track, but I
(02:22):
lacked a lot of confidence. Really didn't thrive much in
school was one of those kids that's picked on a little bit.
I I don't know that I would say Chad, that I was bullied by
today's standards of of the wordthat we're throwing around being
bullied. But I was, you know, church boy,
preacher kid, All of those things picked on a little bit,
(02:44):
but I was just kind of by myselfand and just never really had
any confidence. Never really believed that I
would amount to much and graduated high school, went on
to Bible college and or went on to college.
NW Nazarene University, same story.
C student is not really anything.
(03:07):
Dropped out of school, got married, just kind of running
from God. When I was 5, I felt called to
be a missionary and I really didn't know what that meant
until I started looking at my dad's life, my grandfather's
life and my great grandfather and a little bit his life and
realized that, you know, I'm a fourth generation pastor.
(03:27):
And I thought, God, you got the wrong guy.
I do not want what I saw in my family's life when it came to
the struggles of ministry and those types of things.
I thought, let's go into business.
And so I ran from God, dropped out of school, ran from God, but
I still lacked direction. I lacked meaning, lacked
(03:47):
purpose, lacked confidence. And Flagstaff, AZ we're married.
I'm sitting at my couch in Flagstaff, AZ when God really
got a hold of my life. And it was at that point that I
knew that he was calling me. And we made a decision at that
point to go to Bible college andit's I had a belief shift and
(04:11):
we're going to talk a little bitabout that.
I think some beliefs and limiting beliefs, but I had a
shift in my beliefs when I really believed that God called
me, that he chose me and he wanted.
Me and changed things. It definitely changed things.
I got to Bible college and I became a straight A student.
I went from just getting by to getting straight A's was the the
(04:31):
long preacher of the year that year at Bible college, won
awards for Bible reading, you know, just kind of all of a
sudden excelling and then went on staff with my dad after Bible
college and started seminary, graduated with honors from
seminary and with the the Dean academic Dean's award recipient.
(04:55):
And as I was thinking back aboutthat, I was thinking, you know,
what shifted, what really moved from average get by just just
making it to excelling in some things.
And there was a shift. It it at that moment where I
really believe something different.
I believe something different about God and I believe
(05:16):
something different about myselfand that what he was calling me
to do and what he wanted me to step into.
And that was kind of the, the, the journey of, of that first
shift. But then reality happens, right?
It's like I'll get involved in ministry.
And now I'm pastoring a church and having some success and took
a small church and grew up pretty quick, grew up a little
(05:39):
too quick, created some ministryleadership vacuums and some
struggles there. And then I started to question
things. And then I started to compare
things and I started to look at myself in comparison to the
other pastors on the district and, and those who were really,
you know, good and, and, and started saying, who am I God,
(06:00):
you know, and, and, and I don't know really how that whole shift
took place, but kind of driftingback into that, who am I that
you would want me? And some of those challenges and
struggles with really trying to identify and find my identity
and ministry, find my identity and myself and Christ and who I
(06:20):
am and, and what he's called me to, to be and do.
And there was always this tug tomissions.
But in my mind, missions was always something across water.
You know, you had to, you had togo and you had to leave
everything. And yet I came to realize that
God was calling me to be a missionary right here.
And we realized that we were surrounded by thousands and
(06:44):
thousands of people who are not banging down the door of the
church to get in. And so we started planting
churches and houses and coffee shops and bars and clubs and
anywhere where people were, you know, had a whole movement
towards the the witch and Pagan kind of, you know, they're not
banging down the church, the door of the church to get in.
(07:06):
But Jesus loves them and, and weshould love them.
And so just really felt God calling me to reach those who
we're outside the walls. And there was a kind of a new
breadth of confidence, a new beginning there that stepped
(07:26):
into some stuff and started building some stuff and started
growing. And then the Free Methodist
Church saw what we were doing and we ended up in Arizona
helping them launch that. And that was all great until an
embezzlement took my job, my career, my everything.
And, and now we found ourself going, wait a minute, who are
we? What are we doing?
(07:47):
And a big shift took place and we found ourselves owning A
liquidation company and being inbusiness and a shift from
ministry to business. And now it was a fish out of
water. Had no clue what I was doing.
I was back to that place of identity.
And I just really don't know whoI am and struggled through a lot
(08:10):
of that. And then we had some marriage
struggles and some things in ourin our marriage that we almost
lost our marriage and that was crumbling.
And found myself back in Albuquerque, NM, working at a
roofing company with some leadership development and
trying to use my gifts and abilities in a context that was
(08:32):
just eating my lunch. I ended up in depression.
I hated getting out of bed, hated going to work.
I was making excellent money, but realizing that the money was
meaningless because I hated getting up.
And I was not being who God called me to be.
(08:54):
And I was not using the gifts that he'd given me and the
talents that he'd given me in the aspect of ministry and and
really impacting people's lives.There's a whole podcast in that.
Yeah. And it was just, it was just a
long journey of of almost hopelessness.
And my wife and I, Robin, came to a place of realizing that
(09:17):
it's not worth it. And during that process, though,
we had gone to Tony Robbins, unleashing the power within in
Florida, and we walked on fire. I let my wife go first.
You know, 2000° colds. You go first, baby, if it
doesn't. But there was something that
happened in that moment where our beliefs shifted.
(09:42):
The belief that, you know, we can do hard things.
The belief that, man, I never believed I could do.
And all of a sudden, we're doingsomething.
And we stepped into personal growth and development, which
you would think, Chad, you wouldthink that that would be one of
the aspects in the church world that would be far more
prevalent. It's just not the personal
(10:03):
growth and development where we're really investing and
growing who we are. And so we started reading, we
started diving into personal growth and development.
And it was a big shift that tookplace at that time in our
marriage and in what we believed.
And so at that point, we, we said, let's burn the ships.
We walked away from, you know, avery, very nice salary, put it
(10:26):
on the table. My dad was dying of cancer and I
couldn't be with him. So we said I'm done.
And we started marriage coachingactually was our first move and
shift into helping people in a different way.
We had solved some things in ourmarriage and we we were able to
really correct some of that. And so we started helping others
(10:47):
and that shifted from marriage coaching into life coaching.
We added life coaching and I wasable to be with my dad when he
died. I cared for him for four months
because we had stepped out of the traditional, stepped out of
the conventional, stepped out ofwhat everybody expected.
And you just, yeah, your job sucks.
Suck it up and go do it to what do we really want to do?
(11:10):
And can we reinvent ourselves? And here I'm pushing 50, you
know, those around 50. And I'm pushing 60, you know,
and it's, can I really reinvent myself?
And since then, we've reinventedourselves several times.
And now we find ourself in a coaching World, Health coaches,
personal trainers, you know, when you're 59 and Robin's 60,
(11:34):
just over 60 and you're getting new degrees in, in personal
training, She's certified personal trainer.
I'm certified personal trainer, senior fitness specialist,
corrective exercise specialist. We're working on fall
prevention. You know, it's like, when do you
start doing that? You know, 5859, you know, it's
(11:56):
like, but we've, we've just cometo this place of believing
differently, that we can reinvent ourselves, We can do
things differently. And so now we find ourself, we
still struggle with some of those challenges and beliefs,
but we find ourself at a really exciting place in life, just
looking forward to what's coming, what's next.
(12:20):
And it's a struggle, but, and that's a, that's a like, oh, 59
years. There you go, Jack. 60 years and
10 minutes, right? It's been, it's been so
inspiring. You've, you've been, you've been
key in my life in a lot of different ways and in ways you
probably don't know or realize. And I've been inspired by you so
(12:42):
much because I see what you and Robin are doing and there's
always this heart to help you that that's been the common
theme since I've known you several years now has been this
common theme. If I want to help people.
And let me tell you, brother, you do that.
You do that in a lot of ways. Thank you.
And so with me starting this entrepreneurial journey,
(13:06):
starting this podcast journey, there were many times where I've
had these thoughts of who am I? I've had these thoughts of
nobody wants to hear me. Nobody wants to hear your voice.
You're a nobody, those what you call limiting beliefs that have
(13:29):
the capability to stop you in your tracks and keep you from
living out the life God's calledyou to live.
And in our time together throughcoaching and that sort of thing,
and in the time where we spent time together, you've LED a
seminar on those limiting beliefs.
And it's one of the most beneficial things that I've been
a part of in the last five yearsof my life because there's been
(13:52):
so many times where I've been onthis journey feeling like, OK,
God, God has called me to this, exactly what I'm doing, what
we're doing today. God has called me to this, but
lacking the belief system, lacking the, the positive self
talk that you need to keep you moving forward a lot of times.
So I've gone back and I've referenced what did Darrell say
(14:15):
about that? And so I couldn't wait to have
you on a podcast because throughthis journey, I've leaned back
on some of your teachings and I can't wait to share your
teachings with, with my audience.
And so you're, you're a man of, of many talents, but I want to
hold in on one of them for thosein our audience that may not be
all that familiar with limiting beliefs, although I dare say
(14:36):
we've probably all experienced them.
We just may not have had the words to call them.
How would you define those and how do they show themselves in
our lives? I think it's, it's pretty
simple. It's a belief that limits our
potential, any belief that we hold that holds us back.
You know, a man's walking down the road and sees an elephant.
And we've probably all seen the picture of an elephant with a
(14:59):
little rope tied around. It's a huge leg tied to a little
stake in the ground. I mean, the stakes sticking out
of ground this far and the ropesabout this long and, and it's
tied to this elephant's leg. And the guy's walking down the
road, he sees this elephant and he automatically thinks there's
no way that that elephant, if that elephant wanted to, he just
(15:20):
lifts his leg. How in the world does that
little rope and that stake keep that elephant from leaving,
Right. So he asked the trainer, the
elephant trainer that was nearby, and he says, I got to
know. I got to know how you keep an
elephant attached with a rope and a stake.
The elephant trainer just said, it's very simple.
When the elephant was just a little baby, just really young,
(15:41):
we tied his leg to a stake that he couldn't pull.
And here's the statement that catches me.
And he was conditioned to believe that that rope could
hold him still and that he couldnot break free.
He was conditioned to believe it.
And I think, Chad, I think that's really, for me, that is
(16:02):
the story of limiting beliefs that through our life, we've
been conditioned to believe certain things that keep us
stuck. Here's the truth.
The rope did not hold the elephant.
What held the elephant was a belief about the rope.
Yeah, well. The rope and the stake were
(16:24):
simply there, and we all know the truth.
And here's the here's the big thing.
We like to think that beliefs and truth are the same thing.
We think that because we believeit.
It is truth. Yes.
So the truth is that that elephant could just simply lift
his leg and walk away and he could be free.
(16:50):
The belief is that he's been conditioned through time to hold
that that rope is where he's stuck.
He can't move further. That describes so many people
today doesn't. It does.
It does. I, and I think you said it a
minute ago, the truth is we all all, I don't know that there's
(17:11):
anyone that doesn't have a limiting belief.
Even after we've conquered A limiting belief, We there's this
next layer of yeah, but you know, it's like, I've done some
stuff, but I could never do that.
Yeah. And I've done some stuff and,
and this person might go you really, I don't see that in you.
I, I, you've got so much confidence, you've got so much,
(17:34):
yet there's still this sticking point.
It's, it's very fascinating to me.
As we were talking about doing this, I, I needed to hear your
story, Chad. And I'll just tell you very
honestly why this has sat on theshelf for a long time.
Because because here's the truth, I didn't believe that it
(17:55):
was good enough. Well.
I didn't believe that it was going to have the impact that
you just described. And I, I teach limiting beliefs,
my friend. And yet we all have them and we
conquer them at different levelsand we conquer them at different
rates of time, right? But if we're not working on
them, we're never growing. Well, you're.
(18:18):
Never going to just disappear. And in your story, you described
this period where you would havethis newfound confidence, but
then there's this tendency to kind of fall back into some of
those old habits. Yeah.
And limiting beliefs are the same, you know?
And it's another one of those situations.
With every challenge in life comes this this process of I
(18:42):
don't know if I can handle that.Yeah.
And and let's face it, life is going to throw us curveballs on
a regular basis. It's done it with you in your
life. It's done in my life.
That's just the way life works, right?
Our life is unpredictable. We never know what's going to
come up next. And there's this, there's this
thought process of, huh, I don'tthink I can handle that.
(19:05):
Yeah. When I think about you, I think
of an incredible mind, an incredible coach like you.
You just have a way with words and you have a way of, of being
able to kind of meet people where they are.
That is rare. And I just, in my mind, I always
just think, well, Darrell's always been that way.
But when I hear that story of the things that you've overcome
(19:28):
and the places where you've been, and there's been, there's
been places of darkness. Yeah, there's been places of
brokenness, you know, looking atwhat you overcome to get to
where you are today. And, you know, I love that this
this whole concept of look at the journey, you know, look,
look at the path, don't look at the destination.
(19:48):
I think that's super, super powerful.
So those limiting beliefs that we have, can you give us some
examples of what that might looklike in our?
Life. Yeah.
So here's the thing. That's our limiting beliefs show
up in how we talk to our self, whether verbally or non
verbally. They show up in in our negative
self talk. They show up in the words and
(20:09):
the sentences we use. And here's what I found, Chad.
It's very interesting. Very rarely would we ever talk
to somebody else the way we talkto our self.
Correct. We would never say you stupid
idiot. And yet that's the way we talk
to ourselves, right? And, and so when we start
listening and I, I like to say, think about what you think about
(20:30):
when we start listening to ourself and what are the most
common sentences we, we start using, we'll start to hear.
I can't, I shouldn't, I, I, I'm too, I'm this, I'm that.
And they're all from a negative perspective.
And negative self talk is one ofthe quickest ways to identify
the surface level limiting beliefs, but limiting beliefs,
(20:51):
we have beliefs and we have dominant beliefs.
We have we have beliefs that areunder the surface and way
subconscious. And we have these dominant
beliefs. And I let me just explain real
quick for your audience that thedifference between a belief and
a dominant belief. Yeah, that's important.
I believe that Jesus died for everybody.
But then I have a dominant belief that I'm unworthy.
(21:13):
The dominant belief is what's going to drive my actions.
I believe everybody should eat healthy.
My dominant belief is it's too expensive.
So I can have a belief about something, but I hold this
dominant belief. The dominant belief will always
drive our behavior. It will always drive our
actions. And so we have, we have these
(21:34):
beliefs and we say I can't. This and can't is always a a
word that lends itself to a limiting belief.
It's I can't afford it. I can't, I'm too old.
I can't, I can't write a book. I'm too old.
I can't start a new business. I'm too old.
You know, Colonel Sanders started his business when he was
(21:56):
65 with $100.00 of his Social Security check.
And now we have Kentucky Fried Chicken.
And why do I think that I can't?Because my age, my age doesn't
determine my ability, but we've attached that to it.
So limiting beliefs are, are easily identified or most
quickly identified, I should say, in listening to our
(22:17):
negative self talk about what wecan't do or how we're too old or
too ugly or too this or too heavy or too thin or too, you
know. So those are the things that I
think help us identify the limiting beliefs first.
Yeah, there was this phrase growing up that that we had
can't, never could. Right.
(22:38):
And, and I latched on to that and I still say that in my
family. I can't say that in the.
Christine about that word and our brain.
I love brain science. I love what's happening in the
brain. So the word can't trigger
something in the brain. The brain is always trying to
prove us right, so as soon as wesay I can't, the brain goes and
(23:00):
looks for all the evidence to show that.
Fascinating. OK.
OK, so I say I can't afford it. I can't afford a coach.
I can't afford your program. I can't afford whatever the
brains going to go. Yeah, because remember you just
had that bill or you remember that just happened or remember
you've got this expense or remember and it starts to gather
(23:22):
all the evidence to support the can't.
OK. As soon as you shift that from
and I can't to a how can I, yourbrain tries to go solve the
problem. So I can't afford it.
Or better question is get can't out of there and say how could I
(23:44):
afford that? And all of a sudden the brain
goes, well, have you seen the stuff in building up in your
garage that you haven't used for30 years?
What if you sold this and you got rid of that and you got rid
of that and I haven't used that for 30 years and my health is
more important than that. All of a sudden instead of the I
can't afford it, the brain went to solve the problem and give
you a solution because you shifted from AI can't to a How
(24:09):
can I? That is so powerful.
That's what the brain, the brainis trying to prove you right.
We're familiar and I know you are.
A lot of people may not have heard of our Ras, our reticular
activating system. Reticular activating system of
the brain is the part of our brain that's filtering the
things we care about and don't care about.
(24:30):
Could you imagine, Chad, if you're driving down the road and
every sense and every object andeverything, is it all that you,
you pay attention to all of it, It'll be so overwhelming.
You couldn't you? You couldn't do it.
So we have to have a system in our brain that filters out
things that don't matter. You're shopping for a car,
(24:50):
right? And all of a sudden you start
seeing those cars. All of them.
Were they never there in the 1stplace?
No, they've always been there. Then why didn't you see them?
Because you didn't care about them, right?
That your Ras, your reticular activating system was filtering
them out so that you only saw the things that you were
interested in, that were important to you, the things you
(25:11):
cared about, the things you toldyourself that you wanted, that
were important to you. And I think this is where it's
really cool with limiting beliefs.
And it's kind of where you can see I get a little excited about
this stuff because this is whereit's really cool.
If we really understood how the reticular activating system
worked, we could use it to our advantage.
(25:31):
Unfortunately, most people don'teven know it's going on, so it
just happens to them. But if we understand that the
reticular activating system takes what we care about and
starts showing us that stuff. But why is it that I always see
my failures? Because that's all I care about.
(25:52):
It's what I've told myself. See, I did it again.
And the brains going, yeah, let me prove you right, it's over
here too. And see that failure drive by
and see that one drive by. And I'm just going to start
showing you all the stuff you say you care about, right.
What would happen if we started reprogramming our reticular
activating system? And we started with some
strategies to to really be able to say, oh, look, and I
(26:14):
succeeded there and I succeeded.You know what?
I've got a lot of evidence around me that I'm not what they
said I am. I'm not what my uncle did.
I'm not what my dad said. I'm not that.
But my teacher said you'd never amount to anything.
Look, I've amounted there and there and there and all of a
sudden, hey, yeah, God, can you use this?
(26:40):
God wants to use us for greatness.
God wants us to use us for big things.
God wants to take us and use it and make a difference in
people's lives. And yet we limit God's
unlimited. And we limit because all we see
is what we've asked the reticular activating system to
show us. And, and what makes that so
(27:03):
impactful is because that can free us from beliefs that have
been holding us back our entire lives.
Yeah. I can't tell you how many people
from a pastoral perspective thatI see that have this long
standing belief about themselvesthat came from something that
they were told as a child, right.
And I'll give I'll give an example of that when I was a
(27:27):
child and I was not told these words specifically, but through
actions and through things. There were several things in my
life, whether it be through ballor whether it be through, you
know, different coaches and different experiences that told
me I'm not good enough. You're not good enough to start,
you're not good enough to make this team.
(27:47):
You're not good enough to do this or that.
We have to be careful. The message we're sending to
children. Let me just say that because
some of the things we say to them, we have to be careful
because some of those, some of those things stick.
And so for a lot of my life, I've had this limiting belief
that I'm I'm not good enough. And when I look at, OK, the
(28:09):
things that I've accomplished and, and what I have, and this
isn't a pat on the back for Chad, but it's just when you
look at reality versus you look at the that the lies that you
believe, you see how much you'vebeen held back by it.
There are people, there are people who, you know, their dads
have told them, particularly men, their dads have told them
something like you'll never amount to anything.
(28:29):
You'll never be this, you'll never be that.
And they believe that their whole lives.
And it's very much like that elephant.
You know, they could easily overcome it.
However, that belief keeps them stuck.
Yeah. Another thing I'll mention too
is not only do we have to be careful what we say to people
from a negative standpoint, the opposite also stands true as
(28:53):
well. I'm so as we were talking about,
you know, the impact you've madein my life, I'm kicking myself.
Well, man, why have I not told him that sooner?
Because that activates that reticular activating system to
say, you know, hey, and that other person, now they're
thinking instead of man, I'm notgood enough.
I'm not Oh, OK, well, hey, this is an example of when I was good
(29:14):
enough. This was an example of when that
did impact people. And then you start looking for
those SO11 comment can make someone stuck.
Yeah, Can I appreciate that, man?
I appreciate you saying what yousaid today.
I will catalog that now as evidence that, you know, Daryl,
you are good enough. And this program, this, this,
(29:35):
this seminar on limiting beliefsis a good quality.
Can I improve it? Absolutely.
I think that's the other thing. If we get overcome that limiting
belief, we come to the place of realizing that we may not be
where we want to be. But it's that journey of but I
have the skills and abilities tomake this one notch better and I
(29:55):
have the skilleties and abilities to make that 1 notch
better. And can I improve upon this?
And can I? Because it's a growth process,
not a, you know, I went from starting a podcast and a week
later I'm at my let you know, it's like, but can I learn
something from his journey? Can I learn something from her
journey that I can implement this week?
(30:16):
And I think that's the other part of this limiting belief
conversation. Chad is.
That when we. Strive to overcome limiting
beliefs. We have to identify it, but then
we also have to recognize the lie that's in it and the truth
aside it. Yeah, that that challenge, yeah.
Because once I recognize the truth, then I can start my
reticular activating system working off of that truth to
(30:38):
find the evidence that yes, I can move forward.
So instead of you know, I'm so stupid to the truth is I can.
Learn. And a lot of times we don't know
what we don't know until we don't know it, right?
But a lot of times we're hard onourselves on the backside, like
man, why didn't you? Well, we didn't know what we
(30:58):
didn't know at that point. And so using what you're given,
using what you've learned to improve is always part of it.
One of the activities that you had us doing that seminar,
Darryl, was to look at the beliefs that we are holding, the
things they're limiting us keeping for, for example, you're
not good enough and challenge that belief.
(31:19):
Is that true? That was one of the things I
walked away from is all right. Think about the way you talk to
yourself, ask yourself, is that true?
And if it's not true? And 99% of the time it's not if
it's not true, then what is the truth that that was a powerful
example of how to how to go about this.
(31:40):
So as we kind of wrap up here, what what are some things our
listeners could do to become incrementally better today?
Yeah. First say this about that
exercise. One of the things we have to be
careful of is we will be very quick to say, but it is true
because challenging the truth ishard.
(32:04):
And I'll be the first to tell you, overcoming limiting
beliefs. Yeah, there's three simple
steps, but they're hard. Yeah, because challenging the
truth, we're so conditioned to believe that our beliefs are
truth. Yeah, that's good.
And the other thing is challenging the truth sometimes
isn't directly related to the truth.
I have to see it a completely different way.
(32:26):
So for example, you know, I'm not good enough.
That's the lie is that in that that, you know, I'm attaching an
identity to something I did hereand and making that my identity.
The truth is I can learn. So when we say is it true or
(32:50):
not, we tend to stay back here with am I stupid or not stupid
and it's a this or that. It's a stupid, not stupid.
Yeah, Dichotomy, yeah. Versus what's the truth?
The truth is I have the ability to learn.
God gave me a brain and it works.
Now the truth is I can learn newthings.
(33:12):
I can learn. You know, if you take any
industry, you know I'm not a rocket scientist.
When it comes to rocket science,I'm stupid.
You know that's the truth, right?
But the truth is, I can learn. And if I started investing my
life in learning rocket science,guess what?
I would have a year from now, two years from now, three years
(33:33):
from now, I would have a degree in rocket science and I would no
longer be quote, UN quote, stupid in rocket science.
Well, I like that. And so sometimes we need to
really shift how we how we thinkabout the truth.
The truth is God gave me a brain.
It works, I can learn. And.
(33:54):
It is, you know, what if I looked at my life right now, not
not mine because I'm not there anymore, but I'm unhealthy, you
know, I'll never be healthy. The truth is I'm unhealthy.
Well, what's the truth? The truth is I can make
different decisions on how I eatfood.
I can make this different decisions on how I go to the
gym. God gave me a body.
My legs work, my arms work. You know, even if my legs didn't
(34:15):
work and I'm in a wheelchair, I can still learn to do chair
yoga, chair this, chair that. But so many times, well, there's
my belief is I can't get healthybecause I'm stuck in a
wheelchair. And so I think that's important
in that. Now, I totally segwayed to your
actual question, Chad, I'm sorry.
No, that's great. And and one thing I want to add
(34:36):
there is, OK, you may be that right now, but you don't have to
stay there. Yeah.
And and that's important that I'm so glad you went there.
So yeah. Continue so the how TOS how to
you know what's something that your audience can do to make
incremental steps forward. I think one thing is embed new
truths, embed new beliefs, and that really is about taking the
(35:00):
reticular activating system and making things new and different.
So one of the challenges that I love to have people do is win
journals, micro wins. What are my little wins today?
What did I do well today? What did I do right today?
And write that stuff down and start seeing it.
Gratitude journals, things whereyou start to help yourself start
(35:20):
to see the new evidence that's already all around you, see your
wins instead of always seeing the name.
You're, you're conditioned and, and you know, your brain is
going to always be trying to pull you back because that, you
know, neuroplasticity is that those pathways in our brain that
are so grooved and ingrained. Neuroplasticity basically means
(35:42):
you can create a new pathway, but that one's still there for a
while. And that's why it's so hard to
overcome our limiting beliefs because we have years, 50 years
of being told and telling ourself the lie over and over
and over again that the brain's just going, oh, wait a minute,
what are you doing here? That's a deep groove.
So I think helping helping people just start small of re
(36:06):
identifying their wins, their gratitude, their their
observation about life, challenging the lies,
challenging the the belief and just really questioning the rope
that ties them down. Because here's the truth in
every single one of us, Chad, God has given us everything we
(36:27):
need to be successful. If we're not, it's because we've
got a limiting rope that we are just believing is stuck there.
And we're stuck to that rope, right?
And all we have to do sometimes is lift our leg and show, prove
it. Otherwise, just prove it.
Just lift the leg and go try it.Go try.
Step into writing that book. Step into starting a podcast.
(36:48):
Step into getting healthy. Step into, you know, people go.
I don't have time. That's a limiting belief.
Yeah. You believe you don't have time
to get healthy. My first client shows up at the
gym at 4:00. Guess who's there with him.
Does it suck to get out of bed? And yes.
But you know what? I have a job.
I have a a mission. Some of the busiest people in
(37:11):
the world have time. To work out.
So I can't afford it. Challenge the belief.
Just challenge it. Ask yourself, how can I?
How can I find time? How can I afford it?
How can I start that book? How can I start that podcast?
How can I get this limiting beliefs course back in
circulation and make a difference in people's lives?
(37:34):
So you challenged me today, Chad, to actually take my work
and do something with it. Love it, love.
So thank you. Well, and, and part of what I
teach and coach in the Rev RX method, it's called the Abundant
Life Framework. And I pull that from John 1010,
which has always been one of my favorite verses that Jesus says
he's come so we may have life and have it abundantly.
(37:56):
Yeah, One of the things I want to mention about that is that
limiting beliefs keep us from living abundantly.
They keep us from living to life.
God's called us to live. And if we're going to step into
that, if we're going to really, you know, live God's best and
not settle for less than what heintended for us, like you said,
he intended for us to be great for him.
Yeah, great for the Kingdom. And so those things keep us from
(38:20):
reaching our potential in Christ.
It's living to the fullest capacity of who God's created me
to be. Yes.
It's living into the fullest capacity of who God's created me
to be. Yeah, and that's an ongoing
changing process. I love it.
(38:40):
He's created us, he's given us, and he's got a mission for us
and a call in our lives. Doesn't matter who you are.
And it's really living into that.
Love it man. Well, thanks for being you.
Thanks for being such an important figure in my life and
and many others. I love what you're doing.
I can't wait to see what the future holds for you and man
(39:01):
just love you. Appreciate you brother.
Likewise, my friend, you're awesome.
Thanks for being here. Thank you.
Thank you for listening to the Rev RX Podcast.
We hope you enjoyed what you heard today and if so, we'd love
it if you would hit that subscribe button so that you'll
never miss a new episode from us.
Also, feel free to leave us reviews and comments as we'd
love to hear from you. Be blessed and be the very best
(39:23):
you.
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