September 7, 2025 • 38 mins
Let me know your thoughts on the show and what topic you would like me to discuss next.
In this episode of the Revolutionary Man Podcast, host Alain Dumonceaux joins Mark Collins, founder of Life Mastery, to explore how men can break free from default living and step into their true potential. Key points include identifying and overcoming imposter syndrome, the importance of living by design rather than by default, the role of faith in personal transformation, and practical strategies for mastering thoughts, words, and actions. Mark also shares his personal journey and insights on expanding one's capacity and envisioning a purpose-driven life.
Key moments in this episode:
00:00 Introduction: Are You Ready for More?
02:43 Meet Mark Collins: Life Mastery Coach
06:28 Living by Design, Not by Default
08:34 The Power of Identity
15:45 Incorporating Faith into Life Mastery
21:21 Expanding Your Capacity
30:20 The Importance of Mentorship and Scripture
36:17 Conclusion: Mastering Your Life
How to reach Mark:
Website: http://freedom-for-life.net
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreedForLife/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_freedomforlife_/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCw1A7tteCrpLj_d9ejzDWRg
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/mark-collins-freedom-for-life
Thanks for listening to the Revolutionary Man Podcast. For more information about our programs, please use the links below to learn more about us. It could be the step that changes your life.
👉To join our movement:
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Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Let me ask you have you ever felt like you were made
for more?
But, despite your achievements,you're still weighed down by
fear, insecurity or doubt, maybeeven find yourself reacting to
life rather than leading it,caught in this endless cycle of
managing instead of mastering.
But you know what?
Deep down, you know that you'redesigned to do something far
(00:25):
greater a life of purpose, ofpower and of fulfillment, but
something keeps pulling you backto the old stories, your hidden
lies that you've believed aboutyourself, and the fear of
failing, not once but once again.
So today we're going to diveinto how to break free from the
invisible chains and unleash theman that you were always meant
(00:47):
to be.
So this is not going to be aboutjust managing our existence.
It's going to be aboutmastering our destinies, and
it's going to start in this verymoment.
So if you've ever felt stuck orrestless, like you're capable
of doing much more in yourcurrent life than how it's
reflecting, then I think thisepisode might just be for you.
So do take a moment, hit likesubscribe and share this
(01:10):
conversation with someone youknow who's ready to live by
design and not by default,because it's your engagement
that helps us reach more men whoare out there, ready to rise
into life that they were createdfor.
And with that, let's get onwith today's episode.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
The average man today is sleepwalking through life,
many never reaching their truepotential, let alone ever
crossing the finish line toliving a purposeful life.
Yet the hunger still exists,albeit buried amidst his
cluttered mind, misguidedbeliefs and values that no
longer serve him.
It's time to align yourself forgreatness.
(01:51):
It's time to become arevolutionary man.
Stay strong, my brother.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Welcome everyone to the Revolutionary man Podcast.
I'm the founder of the Awakenedman Movement and your host,
alan DeMonso.
Let me ask you a couple ofquestions.
Are you living a life you areconsciously designing, or are
you just managing a life thathappened to you?
What could your life look likeif you stopped settling for just
being good enough and insteadpursued a greatness that you
(02:22):
were truly created for?
If you've ever wondered whetherthere's more to life than
survival, there is, and todaywe're going to dive into and
learn how we can claim that forourselves, and so I want you to
get ready to rethink what'spossible and to uncover the hero
that lies within.
In order to do that, allow meto introduce today's guest.
That.
(02:46):
Allow me to introduce today'sguest Mark Collins' passion for
Life.
Mastery was born from hisdesire to live the marriage that
he knew he was created for,free from doubt, free from fear,
free from the imposter syndrome, and so, over the past 15 years
, he's coached and mentoredhundreds of men, helping them
overcome obstacles and step intothe true potential.
Now, life Mastery grew out ofMark's own freedom journey and
(03:06):
his experience guiding othersthrough theirs, and his mission
is to help men unlock andunleash the hero within, and so
they can lead powerful lives intheir work, relationships and in
every aspect of life.
And so welcome to the show,mark.
How are things, my friend?
Speaker 3 (03:22):
I'm doing well, Alan.
Thanks so much for having me.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Yeah, really looking forward to our conversation here
this morning and such of thework you're doing resonates so
deeply with me, and reallyappreciative of having such
powerful guests such as yourselfon the show.
And so, as you know, here atthe Revolutionary man, we always
talk about all of us being on ahero's quest, and so, in your
own journey, tell us about whatthat pivotal moment was when you
realized you were just managingyour life rather than mastering
it.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
Yeah, I think that's a great question, alan.
For me, I think there wasseveral moments in life and a
lot of it is coming from tryingto find the solutions right and
trying to figure out how to bebetter.
So early on in my life, it wasreally desiring to see the man
that I was on the inside show upon the outside, the one I
believed I could be right, theone that was confident and
assured and powerful andpassionate and really living the
(04:11):
life that I was created for.
If there was a pivotal momentfor me, I think there was one
that when I was in my early 30sI'm a little bit older, that was
a while ago for me, but therewas my wife and I were expecting
twin daughters and we lost them, and it was an interesting
moment.
First off, the grief and thechallenge were such a struggle
to get through, but prior tothat, I was on this journey of
(04:32):
trying to figure out how to bemore than the person that was
showing up and not haveinsecurity, not have imposter
syndrome, and I was doing itthrough business, through
academics, through athletics,really trying to do what the
world says is going to make adifference.
And come to find out it wasn't.
I was the same person dealingwith imposter syndrome when I
was successful as I was in thebeginning, but much more
(04:55):
stressful because you have tomanage now a new level of trying
to accomplish.
And so, for me, it was in thatplace of that loss in our lives
that I stopped trying to measureup to other people's idea of
who I should be, specifically myfather, a man that I felt in
some ways I could never measureup to, but was always that
shadow hanging over my life,trying to measure up to who he
(05:17):
said or his example of what Iwas supposed to be.
And so it really wasn't masteryversus management.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
It was finally stopping using somebody else's
model on what it looked like tobe a man, to be successful, to
be confident, to be who I wasthis idea of trying to defeat
(05:45):
the imposter syndrome andwhether that was trying to excel
and excelling in business andother aspects of your life and
being an old, maybe even an overa send.
That might've been part of yourjourney, cause it sounds so
similar to myself.
But isn't it interesting that,no matter what we do, that, that
imposter syndrome, that pieceof us that still tends to exist,
and you tied yours to yourfather and living to an ideal,
(06:05):
whether that was a verbalized orunconscious or not, but having
to live to that.
And I see in my life and Iwonder if men that you're
listening today observe thatanchor for you as well that
something has been brought intoyour life, whether it's
consciously or not, that you'vebeen trying to overcome, and yet
you continue to, no matter howsuccessful are, you continue to
(06:27):
see yourself as less than and soyou talk a lot, mark, in your
about in your life masteryprogram is that it's truly is
living by design and not bydefault, and so maybe we should
unpack that a little bit andwhat that distinction means
between those two pieces and whyit's so critical for us to know
that.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
Yeah, and what I tell people is, apart from a
transformational journey, Ihaven't met a person yet, a man
yet, that isn't living bydefault, and myself included.
The challenge is that a lot oftimes, I believe that we are at
best meant to manage our livesmanage my emotions, manage my
insecurity.
Manage those things that arehappening in my life.
Manage my insecurity.
Manage those things that arehappening in my life.
Right, it's the defaultmechanism that says this is
(07:08):
about all I am.
I can try and strive to be alittle bit better.
Really, it's just me managingthe stress, the worry, the
anxiety, whatever it is.
And or I just put myself fullyinto those things, right, try to
overwhelm it by success, byachievement, or, on the other
end, unfortunately, by drugs, byalcohol, by pornography those
things that I'm using tosubstitute for the life I really
(07:31):
wish I had.
And so life by design to me ishelping guys understand that
there is an alternative.
Life by default isn't our fault.
It's just using the samemechanisms that everybody's been
given.
They manage my emotions as theycome up, deal with the
relationships I have, use thosegeneric mantras and affirmations
that really don't work, buteverybody seems to think they do
(07:53):
, so they use them instead ofunderstanding that there's a
design for who you are and adesign for being unleashed.
And we unpack it in my courseand in my book, our three-step
transformational strategy ofmastering your thoughts, words
and actions.
But it really comes down to anunderstanding of maybe you're
right that guy on the inside,the one you hope shows up, the
one you believe you can be, youactually can be, but you're
(08:14):
using the wrong tools, the wrongstrategies to get there.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Absolutely.
I completely agree with you.
I think there are lots ofthings out there to try to point
us in the right direction andwe're going to talk, get into a
little bit later in this episodeand start talking about the
importance of faith and how thathas really was what.
The deep part of what we'retalking about here but just
before we we dive into that youalso talk a lot about one of
your foundational pillars inyour training is about identity
(08:41):
and why we need support for usto get clear on who we are,
because before we start chasingany goals, if we aren't totally
crystal clear about who we areand what we're designed for,
we're going to struggle, aren'twe?
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Yeah, no, absolutely.
What I tell the people I workwith is you're either living
from who you're created to be orwhat your life has told you.
And again, withoutunderstanding how to do
something different, we all dothe same thing, which we're
built to create meaning from ourlife and our experiences.
Right, I believe we're createdby God to be able to overcome
those things.
It's the natural aspect ofovercoming dangers in society
(09:16):
and those things that could harmyou, and they're positives when
they're used in that way.
But the challenge is you can'tshut them off when you're living
your life, and so thechallenges you've walked through
, the hurts that you've had I'vejust named an experience in my
life where my wife and I lostour twin daughters.
That leaves a mark, and thechallenge is that many times we
believe we're the sum total ofthe experiences we walk through.
(09:36):
So if relationships aren'tworking out for you, now, all of
a sudden you think I guess I'mnever going to be happy, I'm
never going to find that one.
If you tried that business andit didn't succeed, you have this
mindset that maybe that's forother people.
And unfortunately, there'speople that speak into our lives
as well and try and limit us bytheir belief about who we
should be.
And so, yeah, it's living fromidentity, understanding who
(09:58):
you're created to be, being ableto separate yourself from your
experiences, not to discountthem, not to ignore them, not to
act like they didn't happen,but just to not allow them to
influence who you believe youare.
And then, on the other side ofit, is that success principle of
I'm just going to substitute myoutcomes for my identity.
And so when I am wealthy, whenI do have the possessions, when
(10:20):
I have all the things that Ithink mean success, now I'm
somebody of importance and Iwork with people, and I'm sure
people yourself, alan, who maybeyou work with them who have had
success and then it's gone, orhave had something that was a
great achievement in their life,but they don't have your job
(10:40):
anymore.
Now, all of a sudden, you loseyour sense of purpose because
you've been tied to somethingthat's not your identity but a
substitute for it.
So identity is, at least for me, in the work that I do, it's
the foundation of everything.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
I completely agree.
It's something that we focus onas well in our work.
I think that you said it's somany powerful things there, and
I just want to touch on the onewhere you talked about some of
the times.
We think that we are the sumtotal of our experiences, and
the challenge with that idea andthat mindset is the stories
that we've wrapped thoseexperiences in can truly shape
(11:14):
us in a way that maybe weweren't intending to.
Again, that's going by default,yeah, truly understanding the
idea, the lessons and the deeperaspects of what's going on.
And then you talked about then.
There's the other side of thecoin there, and that is there is
that success or the identitytied to business and retiring,
and there's lots of studies outthere that show that if you have
(11:36):
, don't have something to gotowards once you're, once you've
retired, that the lifespan iscut back by as much as 30%, and
so think about that.
You work your entire lives thetraditional idea of 55, 60, 65,
depending on the situation thatyou're in only to have your
short in your life becauseyou've lived from an exterior
(11:58):
perspective of identity versustruly owning who you are.
And I think that comes back toour earlier part of our
conversation today.
We talked a little bit aboutthis fear, insecurity and this
imposter syndrome.
So in your work, as you'rehelping men guide them through
that, is there a tool, one toolyou could share with us today,
or a mindset shift that you havefound that has been pretty
(12:19):
effective for breaking throughthese barriers?
Speaker 3 (12:22):
No, I appreciate that , and I love the word mindset
because it really does startwith your mind.
It starts with the story you'retelling yourself, and so the
work that we do.
Obviously there's a foundationof identity, and the reason is
that I mentioned affirmations, Imentioned meditation before,
and it's not that these areinherently bad, but the
challenge is, when I do somesort of generic affirmation, I'm
(12:42):
a man of strength, I'm a man ofstrength or whatever it is.
I'm a man full of confidence.
Whatever the thing you're using, if it's not aligned with who
you believe you are, it'll neverbe effective in actually seeing
a change in your life.
And so when I'm trying to tellmyself I'm something that I
don't believe myself, you'llnever say it enough times for
you to actually believe it and,in that place, to act from it.
(13:02):
And so, for us, the first ofthose transformational
strategies I talked aboutearlier is mastering your
thoughts.
What I tell the guys I workwith is who you believe you are
you'll become, and if yourthoughts aren't aligned with who
you're created to be, thenthey're probably lying to you.
And because they're not alignedwith who you're created to be,
then our three-steptransformational strategy is
(13:24):
your thoughts, words and actions.
If my thoughts aren't alignedwith who I am, then my words
won't be aligned and then myactions won't, which means the
result of what I'm doing whetherI'm reaching for that
relationship that I want and Idesire, or I'm trying to find
that job that's my calling inlife, or I'm trying to create
that business that's, for me,the thing that I'm passionate
(13:45):
about.
Whether you go for it or notwill first be determined by who
you believe you are and theactions you take towards it.
So for us, it all starts withmastering your thoughts, but we
use those identity statementsand some of the other tools we
have for that so that you startto reaffirm who you are, so that
when challenge comes up or ornew decisions come up or stress
comes up which happens witheverybody you actually are
(14:08):
already primed understanding whoyou are.
Short version of it is I tellthe guys I work with you're the
answer to the room you'rewalking into.
You're not the question to befigured out.
When you continue to giveyourself thoughts that align
with who you're created to be,it starts to embolden you to
actually be that guy and in thatplace you start to live it out,
you start to have relationships, you start to have confidence,
(14:30):
you start to have assurance, yougo for those big goals and
those amazing dreams.
You don't hold back from thosebecause last time it didn't work
.
You really are just living fromthe place of.
This is who I am.
So this is how I'm going tolive it out.
And if I could give a caveat tothat, while you still have
success and I have guys who hadsuccess before, I worked with
them and they had greatersuccess after the success
(14:51):
doesn't change, but the joy ofit does.
When you're somebody who isliving for my outcomes, like you
talked about your happiness,your joy, your excitement for
that goal probably lasts aboutabout 10 minutes, because now,
all of a sudden, now I need todo another one and I need to do
another one after that.
But when you understand who youare, that your outcomes, your
(15:12):
success, your accomplishments inlife are simply an outworking
of who you are, and in thatplace you can actually retain
joy and have peace and haveexcitement in them, because I'm
not tied to the outcomes.
I know the outcomes are tied tome.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Love that.
I love that because itabsolutely you hit the nail on
the head.
There for me is when you talkedabout how it's it deepens the
enjoyment versus just having afleeting moment of success, and
so really, what we've beentalking about now we really want
to get into it's about having.
When we talk about having lifeby design, we're talking about
having a faith foundation in ourlives.
So let's talk about how youincorporate I'm a man of faith
(15:49):
as much as yourself, so how doyou, how are you incorporating
faith in your life mastery model, and how can men start to
integrate this idea of faithwith action in our lives?
Speaker 3 (16:01):
Yeah, I appreciate you bringing that up.
I am a.
I'm a person of faith as well,and so, for me, I'm a Christian,
and so every tool and strategywe have in life mastery is
foundationally created through ascripture of teaching and
instruction in the Bible thatwe've unpacked.
So, mastering your thoughts.
There's a Proverbs 23, seven.
As he as a man thinks in hisheart, so is he.
(16:22):
There's an instruction withinthat understanding that if I am
the sum total of my thoughts andif I am the man I think I am,
then how to become the man I wascreated to be is simply, first
and foremost, by changing mythoughts.
There's another scripture.
It says let the words of mymouth and the meditations of my
heart be pleasing in your sight.
Oh, lord my god.
So it's talking about my wordsbeing pleasing to God and my
(16:44):
meditations is another word foryour thoughts.
The question I have for theguys in the instruction we pull
from it is okay.
So if my thoughts and my wordsaren't aligned with who I'm
created to be, then how can theybe pleasing to the one who
created me?
So again, there's an alignmentof okay.
So, starting with identity,understanding who I am, using
that in my thoughts and in mywords, we always think outwardly
(17:07):
, and that's being people offaith.
A lot of times we think thatGod's word is intended for
everything else and everyoneelse, but the truth of the
matter is it's intended for usfirst, and that transformation
is a biblical concept ofunderstanding that you're being
transformed by the renewing ofyour mind, concept of
understanding that you're beingtransformed by the renewing of
your mind.
Again, when I align my mindwith who he says I am and what
I'm supposed to do now, all of asudden there's the
(17:32):
transformation that he's calledme to, and it's not transformed
into somebody you're not, butactually transformed into who
you were created to be.
And so I could go on all dayand I won't.
But all of it is foundationalin the word of God, but it's
using it, not as philosophy, notas bumper stickers or T-shirts
that we can wear, and thosethings aren't necessarily bad,
but they're not effective.
What's effective is finding theinstructions in it, finding
(17:55):
ways to apply it in your lifeand living it out.
And so that's what we've doneis take the instructions, use
them to understand.
Ok, this is what the blueprintlooks like.
This is what I see in his workand what he's done in my life me
specifically and so that'swhere life mastery has come from
is being able to do those.
How do you pull those out?
It's really understanding thatthere are instructions in the
word of God certainly my program, maybe your program as well
(18:15):
that you can find those toolsand those truths.
What I tell the men I work withis even the transformational
strategy mastering your thoughts, words.
They're in the word of god, butthere's scientific basis for
how do you change a habit into acontinual work that you're
doing?
How do you become a differentperson?
By changing your thoughts,words and actions.
But thousands of years beforescience figured that out, god
(18:39):
wrote it down, and so what Itell the guys I work with is
what's God already knew, whatscience now shows, and so
there's scientific backup, butthere's really scriptural
reference to it that predatesanything anybody understood
about how we work.
So you can use those things andyou can effectively do them in
a way that will actuallytransform your life.
(19:00):
The promise is real and true.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
You can be transformed into the man you're
created to be, so you can havethat life you're created for
completely agree, wholeheartedly, and in our program we dedicate
a specific pillar of our, inour lives, just to being tied
into spirit and god and yeah,and I think the for us, for us,
the action step that I encouragemy guys to do is to build into,
(19:25):
ideally, in your morningroutine to set the intention for
the day, to have a meditationpractice, read a little bit of
scripture, read something,listen to something that brings
joy for you and then to sit inand sit with it.
I do a meditation practice.
The idea is to sit in andreally just be quiet and listen
to what potentially the messageswill come for me, and I can
(19:49):
tell you that the days that thatI spend that time that 10, 15,
20 minutes, depending on how itgoes and to not put any rules
around it other than just goingto sit here and be I find I have
a much more connectionthroughout all aspects of life.
I'm more connected with thepeople that I interact with.
I have more connection withinin my alignment with my actions
(20:11):
overall, and I really feel thatis God working through me,
because I've taken theopportunity to allow that to
happen instead of living bydefault and getting up.
And when I was preparing forthis, I was thinking back about
30 years ago.
I saw this comic strip and Idon't know why it has stuck in
my head, but the comic strip wasjust a one character, one image
(20:32):
, and it was a husband and wifesitting laying in bed and his
right arm was really muscularand it was, and the caption was
about him hitting the snoozebutton, wanting to get out of
bed.
And I thought at the time.
I thought about how true isthat in life?
And yet, 25, 30 years later,that's still very true for many
(20:52):
aspects of even in my life.
It's okay, I'm just not said,I'm not doing anything to move a
certain aspect of my lifeforward.
And so what's the muscle am Ibuilding is basically what I'm
getting at.
But am I building this so thatit hit the snooze button because
I don't have any purpose todayor don't have lack of direction?
And what if I chose instead tobe more aligned with who I am,
(21:15):
who my creator has made me to be?
and lean into that, as scary asthat is going to be.
And I think that really thenleads me into talking about the
other aspect of your work,because you talk about being
able to expand our capacity.
So does someone reallyrecognize where their capacity
might be limited and what canthey do to help expand that?
Speaker 3 (21:37):
Yeah, and thank you for sharing your morning routine
.
I have one as well, and I lovethat that you bring that up
because it really is.
Life by design means thatthere's actions I take towards
it.
Life by default, as I tellpeople are you responding to the
life that's happening or areyou the response to it?
And that's the differencebetween the two.
I love the response of, and Ijust wanted to highlight that
(21:59):
the reason why I'm sure you doit and I would assume, and for
sure why I do it is the thingsthat you intentions, the things
that you focus on, become biggerin your life, and so that's why
the first of the morning isimportant.
When I start with God in my life, when I start with reading the
word and reminding myself of whoI am, now, all of a sudden, I
(22:21):
can properly go into my day sothat I'm influencing the things
that are happening.
I'm not allowing them toinfluence me.
So that is a profound thingthat you'd said.
I appreciate that.
I apologize.
I got so caught up with whatyou were saying I forgot about
your question.
What was the question again?
Speaker 1 (22:37):
I was just talking about how we can implement
expansion in our lives, andmaybe it is part of that morning
routine that helps createcapacity for us.
But is there anything else thatyou also look to do and teach
with your men?
Speaker 3 (22:51):
Yeah, absolutely.
And what I see in the word ofGod and I see in the people's
lives, the men's lives that Iwork with, is that there's an
impact in the world that hasyour name on it.
That's what I tell them.
There's something that is theyou thing.
It's not the ordinary, it's notthe average.
It's something that's a driver,a passion, a purpose, something
that's a gifting, a talent.
It's something that God plantedin the world with your name on
it.
And so how do you expand it?
(23:12):
For us, the definition of lifemastery that I talked to the
guys about is life mastery isliving the life, being the
person that you're created to beat the highest level that
you're created for, and that'sreally that expansion and being
that way in every area of yourlife.
For me, there's five areas.
It's the spiritual, relational,vocational, physical, financial
(23:33):
.
To me, these are the fivespheres that, if I can live out
the life and the maximum lifeI'm created for, in each of
these areas I'll have theamazing life I believe for, and
that belief comes fromunderstanding and having a
vision for them.
And so, when you start tounpack and understand identity,
when you start to understandthat who you are and the impact
you have.
It's the character you have,not the skill set you bring.
(23:55):
It's the man who's planted inthe moment, not the talents that
he brings with him.
So when you understand thosethings, you can start to have a
vision.
And so, for us, part of thatwork is having that idea of okay
, if this is who I'm created tobe, I'm created to have
compassionate, caring, intimaterelationships.
Okay.
So with my wife, what does thatlook like, lived out in our
(24:17):
marriage?
What's the highest vision I canhave that I believe God has for
us in our marriage?
It's ongoing intimacy.
It's dating and having hardconversations that lead to
better results.
It's having those times ofgreat joy and laughter.
It's going towards unifiedgoals that we're both passionate
about and seeing an impact fromour family because we're doing
(24:37):
it right.
So what is the vision that youhave for it?
What's the highest vision thatyou can have?
So what is the vision that youhave for it?
What's the highest vision thatyou can have?
And then what can you do towalk towards that, and who are
you meant to be in it?
So, again, identity and lifemastery is me understanding.
I have an impact.
I have an impact in my marriage.
And so who do I need to show upas?
Who did God create me to be inthis marriage?
(24:57):
And how can I invest that sothat dream, that goal, that
vision we have can be attainedby us?
And it's a I don't want to saymoving target, but it's an ever
elevating idea that when we getto that place right, if you're
physical area, if you'rephysically fit or you're going
towards a goal, some sort ofhealth goal and you reach it,
that's not the plateau that youlive on, that's just the next
(25:19):
floor that you sit on and looktowards, the next thing for you.
So that's a lot of that isunpacked in, kind of the
envisioning portion of what wedo.
But it all starts with who youare, because if you go for the
goals before you understandidentity and all of a sudden,
what you're reaching for arethings that are a substitute,
that are going to make me feelgood for the moment, versus
(25:40):
those things that I'm meant tohave my fingerprints on and to
live out.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Yeah, I completely agree and I think that's so key
that we understand that thisaspect of it and you talk about
really about envisioning andthat, and one of the practices
that I teach men is a visioningmeditation aspect.
It's an opportunity for them to.
I have a few questions for themto answer and to as they sit
there.
So it's a recorded thing forthem and it gives them an
(26:07):
opportunity to gain clarity inthat moment.
And I truly believe that ifthey're, if they practice this,
then they will get the message.
It'll be that quiet voice.
It won't be the ego one that'sbarking at us all the time.
It would be that quieter voicethat will ultimately show up.
And so I liked how you talkedabout you know, this idea of
where our lives get to and weimplement these habits and these
(26:30):
different strategies, and thenwe get to this plateau, or I
think you talked about as afloor, and I think that leads to
something else that I think weboth agree on is that sometimes
we can get into this habit offeeling that it's good enough
for us today, and so when you'reworking with men and you're in
that position, that place oflife is good enough, and how do
(26:50):
you reignite that hunger forthem, that passion, so they can
move away from just?
Maybe it's a perfectionism ideaor it's a sense of pride to
really find that hunger, a senseof pride to really find that
hunger?
Speaker 3 (27:01):
No, I think that's a great question, alan, because a
lot of times, when we say thatit's good enough, what we're not
saying that is, the truthbehind that statement is I'm not
willing to do what it takes toget better in this area, whether
it's in our marriage or in ourfitness or with our business job
, whatever the thing is thatyou're doing.
Really, the underlying truth isyou're not willing to pay the
(27:24):
price, you're not willing to gothere.
You don't feel comfortablebeing that vulnerable, that open
.
You're not willing to do thethings that it takes to get
there.
And so it always comes back tothis what's the life you believe
you're created for?
Because if you're unwilling tohave a vision beyond today, then
you probably won't do more thantoday.
But if you have that vision andthe honest truth is we all know
(27:51):
when we're settling forsomething I was going to say
sometimes or many of us, or mostof us, but it's the truth is we
know in our heart when it'slike I just backed off on that,
I didn't really go for it andit's fine.
I've been there, I've been inthat place.
But here's the interesting thingin Life Mastery when you start
to unpack identity, you start tofind that it's not the things
that I'm walking through thatmake me who I am, it's who I am
(28:11):
walking into them that changesthe meaning of those things I'm
walking through, meaning thisI'm created for and for me.
That's doing hard things.
That's having uncomfortableconversations.
That's reconciling with otherfolks when I've done something
wrong, I've said an incorrectword, right.
It's doing the hard things oflife and it's doing it from a
place of understanding.
That's just simply who I am.
(28:32):
When you understand who you are,then the outcomes and the
struggles and the challenges andthe possible failures they
don't have the impact that theyused to Back in the day, when
you're not feeling confident inwho you are, I have to succeed,
because if I don't succeed,what's it going to say about me?
And so you maybe reach forsmaller goals, you reach for
(28:53):
easier things or you hold backaltogether because I don't want
the possible negative outcome,because it'll make me feel like
a failure.
When you understand who you are, you'll understand that success
and failure aren't the equation.
It's how am I really living outwho I am?
And part of that journey is notbeing perfect in every aspect
and having to do things again,start another business, learn a
(29:15):
new task or trade.
So the more you're confident inwho you are, the less going
towards bigger goals issomething you're unwilling to do
.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
I really like that distinction that you said that
good enough means I'm notwilling to, and then you talked
about paying the price to get towhere we want to go, and that
paying that price can be beingvulnerable.
Having the conversation, thedifficult conversation, all the
things that show up, and I lovethat distinction.
The conversation, the difficultconversation, all the things
that show up, and I love thatdistinction.
And because for me, when yousaid that I just went, that
really made me uncomfortablegoing.
(29:46):
Yep, I've been good enough insome aspects of my life that I
need to address.
Why am I not willing to moveforward?
And what a great way to putthat.
And I think, for men that arelistening to this episode, maybe
you feel the same way.
And if you do leave a comment,let us know about that aspect of
your life as well.
There you feel that when youfeel it's good enough and that,
what aren't you willing to go alittle bit further for and get
(30:09):
after?
And, mark, both of us arementors.
We spend a lot of time coachingmen, working with men, maybe a
few wives as well.
In my life I know I've hadmentors as well who have helped
me, and so I question for youabout.
I've had mentors as well whohave helped me, and so I
question for you about is therea mentor, or is there, or maybe
there's part of scripture orsomething that was given to you?
I'll call it a piece of advicethat has served you and it
(30:34):
continues to serve you today,and would you mind sharing?
Speaker 3 (30:35):
that with us.
There's been a lot of advicethat I've ignored and sometimes
the things you ignore are moreimportant than the ones that you
accept.
True that when I was firstpassionate about God and really
going after it I mean going tonew locations, going on trips,
really wanting to experience thefullness of all things God had
I remember somebody told me onetime they said, hey, just take
(30:56):
it easy, you don't.
You should calm down, you don'tneed to do this much, you don't
need to do that.
If anybody ever tells you youdon't need to do this much, you
don't need to do that.
If anybody ever tells you youdon't need to do more, you don't
need to be as passionate as youare, that's probably somebody
to ignore.
While there may be mistakes ingoing for it and I've made
mistakes in my own life I thinkthe intention of wanting the
fullness of the thing thatyou're going after is an
(31:19):
honorable intention.
As far as mentors in my lifeI've had a lot of virtual
mentors, read books, listen tofolks the John Maxwell's or the
Tony Robbins or people that havegiven me incremental increase,
or even books.
One of my favorites was abiography of Teddy Roosevelt and
seeing how he overcome physicalissues in his life and loss in
(31:41):
his life as well, and some ofthe things that happen.
I get great inspiration frompeople who've come before, of
course in the Bible.
The Bible is paramount to meand if I was to give you one,
romans 12, 2 is a life scripturefor me.
It says do not be conformed tothe pattern of this world, but
be transformed by the renewingof your mind.
Then you'll be able to test andapprove what God's will is good
(32:01):
, pleasing and perfect will.
I memorized that scripture at atime because I wanted to know
his will for my life.
I felt there was more thanwhere I was at and I didn't know
what it was and I really wasn'tin a really honest relationship
with him.
It was more task oriented.
I was more of a servant than ason at the time, but I wanted
that thing.
I wanted to know what his willwas for my life and I believed
(32:21):
it was true that I could find it.
I just didn't know the pricethat the first part of the
sentence told me I needed to pay.
I thought that it was inrepetition and reciting things
and showing up and being goodenough that I'd be able to find
out, come to find out.
It was in a transformationalprocess.
It created everything that Iworked on that made life mastery
, first off in my own life andthen the things that I'm using
(32:44):
right now.
But it's that transformationalprocess because in studying it
what I found out was that theword transformation in English
is actually in Hebrew ismetamorpho, which is where you
get the word metamorphosis from.
And I'm a bit of a nerd and Istudied that word because when I
get into the scripture it's sorich and deep that there's so
(33:04):
much you can learn from itbeyond just the actual sentences
but the intent behind it andthe root words and what God
meant in those times.
That word metamorphosis ifobviously anywhere in the world,
if all, I would assume, in theworld, if you look it up, the
one example you probably wouldget would be a butterfly, which
(33:25):
is a caterpillar to a butterfly.
There's a metamorphosis processthat changes that insect, that
bug, from a caterpillar to abutterfly and I studied that and
what I found when I was readingup on it and studying it was
they said that you take a strandof DNA from the caterpillar and
a strand of DNA from thebutterfly and you compare the
two, two and they're exactly thesame.
The only thing that's changedis the outward appearance.
(33:45):
The inward, at the DNA level,the cellular level, of what this
insect was, never changed onebit, and I understood in that
that's exactly what God'scalling us to in transformation.
It's, he's not.
If you know, from a spiritualperspective, if God did not make
you perfectly, then he wouldn'tbe God.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Correct.
Speaker 3 (34:06):
So, with that understanding, he's not trying
to transform you into somebodyelse, because that means he
didn't make you correctly thefirst time.
He's trying to transform youinto who you were created to be,
and that's why the renewing ofthe mind is so powerful in this
part is because you will measureup to, you will have the life,
you will have the dreams and thegoals that you believe you
(34:26):
deserve and you believe you'recreated for.
You will never have an impactgreater than you believe you're
supposed to, and so thattransformation isn't a
transformation to somebodydifferent I, early on in my
Krishna walk, thought it was.
It's a transformation into whohe actually created you to be,
not what your life has told you,not what the world says you are
, not what others maybe haveinfluenced you to believe you
(34:48):
are capable of, but to really bethe person you're created to be
, because that man can changethe world.
And so that was definitely afoundation of my life in that
scripture and unpacking it andtrying to live it out a
foundation of my life in thatscripture and unpacking it and
trying to live it out.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
I love that and I love that part of scripture as
well.
Mark, everything that we'vetalked about today and maybe
there was something we didn'tget a chance to touch on what
would be the one takeaway you'dlike our listeners to have?
Speaker 3 (35:15):
The one takeaway is your belief matters.
I believe, like we talked about, we know when we're holding out
and we're holding off, we'restepping back rather than
stepping in.
But I believe there's alsosomething on the inside, the
other side of that coin, is weknow it because we believe we're
worth more than that.
We believe we're better thanthose things that we're doing
(35:35):
sometimes and what I would tellthe guys.
If you are a person who'sspiritual, I believe there's a
spirit inside of you that'stelling you the truth, even
though the world and your pastand your pain has given you a
voice that's louder, if thatstill small voice is talking
about God.
But that still small voiceinside of you, I believe, is the
spirit on the inside tellingyou there is more.
(35:55):
You are correct.
And it may not be easy and itmay not be a quick fix, but
it'll so be worth it If youlisten to that voice, if you
heed it and find the tools andstrategies to get to the place
where you're created to be.
It'll all be worth it If you dothat.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
Completely agree and love that.
What a great way to wrap uptoday's conversation.
I just want to say thank you somuch, mark, for spending time
with us today and sharing yourwisdom on what it means to live
a life mastery journey, and soyour insights have truly given
us a powerful framework forbreaking free from default and
living and stepping into thehero that has God created us to
(36:35):
be, and men are interested ingetting a hold of you,
participating in your work.
What's the best way for them todo that?
Speaker 3 (36:41):
Yeah, I appreciate the question.
I try and be a one-stop shop,so my shop is my website, it's
freedom-for-lifenet.
You can sign up for my courseout there called Life Mastery.
There's actually an ebookversion of my book Life Mastery
Living Life by Design, not bydefault, so you can have it on
any device you want.
You can get my book on Amazonbecause everything's on Amazon
nowadays and if you wanted toreach out to me specifically to
(37:03):
talk about any life masteryquestions or whether it's for
you, you can reach me atmarkmark at freedom-for-lifenet.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
Perfect.
I'm going to make sure all ofthose that information is in
today's show notes, as well aswherever you we can find you on
social media.
As we wrap up today's episode,I want to challenge you to do
one more thing with thisquestion Are you merely managing
your life or are you trying tomaster it, or actually mastering
it?
If you're ready to step out offear, insecurity and small
thinking and step into yourgreatness that you were designed
(37:34):
to do, your journey beginstoday, and so, in our program,
go to memberstheawakenedmannetand we have a free integrity
challenge for you to take.
Don't settle for survival, butreally build the life that you
were made to live, and so livewith courage, lead with power
and let's get started today.
Gentlemen, thank you so muchfor being on the show again.
(37:55):
Mark Really appreciated ourconversation.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
Yeah, great joy to be here.
Thank you for it.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
Thank you for listening to the Revolutionary
man podcast.
Are you ready to own yourdestiny, to become more the man
you are destined to be?
Join the brotherhood that isthe Awakened man at
theawakendmannet and startforging a new destiny today.
Let me ask you have you ever felt like you were made
for more?
But, despite your achievements,you're still weighed down by
fear, insecurity or doubt, maybeeven find yourself reacting to
life rather than leading it,caught in this endless cycle of
managing instead of mastering.
But you know what?
Deep down, you know that you'redesigned to do something far
(00:25):
greater a life of purpose, ofpower and of fulfillment, but
something keeps pulling you backto the old stories, your hidden
lies that you've believed aboutyourself, and the fear of
failing, not once but once again.
So today we're going to diveinto how to break free from the
invisible chains and unleash theman that you were always meant
(00:47):
to be.
So this is not going to be aboutjust managing our existence.
It's going to be aboutmastering our destinies, and
it's going to start in this verymoment.
So if you've ever felt stuck orrestless, like you're capable
of doing much more in yourcurrent life than how it's
reflecting, then I think thisepisode might just be for you.
So do take a moment, hit likesubscribe and share this
(01:10):
conversation with someone youknow who's ready to live by
design and not by default,because it's your engagement
that helps us reach more men whoare out there, ready to rise
into life that they were createdfor.
And with that, let's get onwith today's episode.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
The average man today is sleepwalking through life,
many never reaching their truepotential, let alone ever
crossing the finish line toliving a purposeful life.
Yet the hunger still exists,albeit buried amidst his
cluttered mind, misguidedbeliefs and values that no
longer serve him.
It's time to align yourself forgreatness.
(01:51):
It's time to become arevolutionary man.
Stay strong, my brother.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Welcome everyone to the Revolutionary man Podcast.
I'm the founder of the Awakenedman Movement and your host,
alan DeMonso.
Let me ask you a couple ofquestions.
Are you living a life you areconsciously designing, or are
you just managing a life thathappened to you?
What could your life look likeif you stopped settling for just
being good enough and insteadpursued a greatness that you
(02:22):
were truly created for?
If you've ever wondered whetherthere's more to life than
survival, there is, and todaywe're going to dive into and
learn how we can claim that forourselves, and so I want you to
get ready to rethink what'spossible and to uncover the hero
that lies within.
In order to do that, allow meto introduce today's guest.
That.
(02:46):
Allow me to introduce today'sguest Mark Collins' passion for
Life.
Mastery was born from hisdesire to live the marriage that
he knew he was created for,free from doubt, free from fear,
free from the imposter syndrome, and so, over the past 15 years
, he's coached and mentoredhundreds of men, helping them
overcome obstacles and step intothe true potential.
Now, life Mastery grew out ofMark's own freedom journey and
(03:06):
his experience guiding othersthrough theirs, and his mission
is to help men unlock andunleash the hero within, and so
they can lead powerful lives intheir work, relationships and in
every aspect of life.
And so welcome to the show,mark.
How are things, my friend?
Speaker 3 (03:22):
I'm doing well, Alan.
Thanks so much for having me.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Yeah, really looking forward to our conversation here
this morning and such of thework you're doing resonates so
deeply with me, and reallyappreciative of having such
powerful guests such as yourselfon the show.
And so, as you know, here atthe Revolutionary man, we always
talk about all of us being on ahero's quest, and so, in your
own journey, tell us about whatthat pivotal moment was when you
realized you were just managingyour life rather than mastering
it.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
Yeah, I think that's a great question, alan.
For me, I think there wasseveral moments in life and a
lot of it is coming from tryingto find the solutions right and
trying to figure out how to bebetter.
So early on in my life, it wasreally desiring to see the man
that I was on the inside show upon the outside, the one I
believed I could be right, theone that was confident and
assured and powerful andpassionate and really living the
(04:11):
life that I was created for.
If there was a pivotal momentfor me, I think there was one
that when I was in my early 30sI'm a little bit older, that was
a while ago for me, but therewas my wife and I were expecting
twin daughters and we lost them, and it was an interesting
moment.
First off, the grief and thechallenge were such a struggle
to get through, but prior tothat, I was on this journey of
(04:32):
trying to figure out how to bemore than the person that was
showing up and not haveinsecurity, not have imposter
syndrome, and I was doing itthrough business, through
academics, through athletics,really trying to do what the
world says is going to make adifference.
And come to find out it wasn't.
I was the same person dealingwith imposter syndrome when I
was successful as I was in thebeginning, but much more
(04:55):
stressful because you have tomanage now a new level of trying
to accomplish.
And so, for me, it was in thatplace of that loss in our lives
that I stopped trying to measureup to other people's idea of
who I should be, specifically myfather, a man that I felt in
some ways I could never measureup to, but was always that
shadow hanging over my life,trying to measure up to who he
(05:17):
said or his example of what Iwas supposed to be.
And so it really wasn't masteryversus management.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
It was finally stopping using somebody else's
model on what it looked like tobe a man, to be successful, to
be confident, to be who I wasthis idea of trying to defeat
(05:45):
the imposter syndrome andwhether that was trying to excel
and excelling in business andother aspects of your life and
being an old, maybe even an overa send.
That might've been part of yourjourney, cause it sounds so
similar to myself.
But isn't it interesting that,no matter what we do, that, that
imposter syndrome, that pieceof us that still tends to exist,
and you tied yours to yourfather and living to an ideal,
(06:05):
whether that was a verbalized orunconscious or not, but having
to live to that.
And I see in my life and Iwonder if men that you're
listening today observe thatanchor for you as well that
something has been brought intoyour life, whether it's
consciously or not, that you'vebeen trying to overcome, and yet
you continue to, no matter howsuccessful are, you continue to
(06:27):
see yourself as less than and soyou talk a lot, mark, in your
about in your life masteryprogram is that it's truly is
living by design and not bydefault, and so maybe we should
unpack that a little bit andwhat that distinction means
between those two pieces and whyit's so critical for us to know
that.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
Yeah, and what I tell people is, apart from a
transformational journey, Ihaven't met a person yet, a man
yet, that isn't living bydefault, and myself included.
The challenge is that a lot oftimes, I believe that we are at
best meant to manage our livesmanage my emotions, manage my
insecurity.
Manage those things that arehappening in my life.
Manage my insecurity.
Manage those things that arehappening in my life.
Right, it's the defaultmechanism that says this is
(07:08):
about all I am.
I can try and strive to be alittle bit better.
Really, it's just me managingthe stress, the worry, the
anxiety, whatever it is.
And or I just put myself fullyinto those things, right, try to
overwhelm it by success, byachievement, or, on the other
end, unfortunately, by drugs, byalcohol, by pornography those
things that I'm using tosubstitute for the life I really
(07:31):
wish I had.
And so life by design to me ishelping guys understand that
there is an alternative.
Life by default isn't our fault.
It's just using the samemechanisms that everybody's been
given.
They manage my emotions as theycome up, deal with the
relationships I have, use thosegeneric mantras and affirmations
that really don't work, buteverybody seems to think they do
(07:53):
, so they use them instead ofunderstanding that there's a
design for who you are and adesign for being unleashed.
And we unpack it in my courseand in my book, our three-step
transformational strategy ofmastering your thoughts, words
and actions.
But it really comes down to anunderstanding of maybe you're
right that guy on the inside,the one you hope shows up, the
one you believe you can be, youactually can be, but you're
(08:14):
using the wrong tools, the wrongstrategies to get there.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Absolutely.
I completely agree with you.
I think there are lots ofthings out there to try to point
us in the right direction andwe're going to talk, get into a
little bit later in this episodeand start talking about the
importance of faith and how thathas really was what.
The deep part of what we'retalking about here but just
before we we dive into that youalso talk a lot about one of
your foundational pillars inyour training is about identity
(08:41):
and why we need support for usto get clear on who we are,
because before we start chasingany goals, if we aren't totally
crystal clear about who we areand what we're designed for,
we're going to struggle, aren'twe?
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Yeah, no, absolutely.
What I tell the people I workwith is you're either living
from who you're created to be orwhat your life has told you.
And again, withoutunderstanding how to do
something different, we all dothe same thing, which we're
built to create meaning from ourlife and our experiences.
Right, I believe we're createdby God to be able to overcome
those things.
It's the natural aspect ofovercoming dangers in society
(09:16):
and those things that could harmyou, and they're positives when
they're used in that way.
But the challenge is you can'tshut them off when you're living
your life, and so thechallenges you've walked through
, the hurts that you've had I'vejust named an experience in my
life where my wife and I lostour twin daughters.
That leaves a mark, and thechallenge is that many times we
believe we're the sum total ofthe experiences we walk through.
(09:36):
So if relationships aren'tworking out for you, now, all of
a sudden you think I guess I'mnever going to be happy, I'm
never going to find that one.
If you tried that business andit didn't succeed, you have this
mindset that maybe that's forother people.
And unfortunately, there'speople that speak into our lives
as well and try and limit us bytheir belief about who we
should be.
And so, yeah, it's living fromidentity, understanding who
(09:58):
you're created to be, being ableto separate yourself from your
experiences, not to discountthem, not to ignore them, not to
act like they didn't happen,but just to not allow them to
influence who you believe youare.
And then, on the other side ofit, is that success principle of
I'm just going to substitute myoutcomes for my identity.
And so when I am wealthy, whenI do have the possessions, when
(10:20):
I have all the things that Ithink mean success, now I'm
somebody of importance and Iwork with people, and I'm sure
people yourself, alan, who maybeyou work with them who have had
success and then it's gone, orhave had something that was a
great achievement in their life,but they don't have your job
(10:40):
anymore.
Now, all of a sudden, you loseyour sense of purpose because
you've been tied to somethingthat's not your identity but a
substitute for it.
So identity is, at least for me, in the work that I do, it's
the foundation of everything.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
I completely agree.
It's something that we focus onas well in our work.
I think that you said it's somany powerful things there, and
I just want to touch on the onewhere you talked about some of
the times.
We think that we are the sumtotal of our experiences, and
the challenge with that idea andthat mindset is the stories
that we've wrapped thoseexperiences in can truly shape
(11:14):
us in a way that maybe weweren't intending to.
Again, that's going by default,yeah, truly understanding the
idea, the lessons and the deeperaspects of what's going on.
And then you talked about then.
There's the other side of thecoin there, and that is there is
that success or the identitytied to business and retiring,
and there's lots of studies outthere that show that if you have
(11:36):
, don't have something to gotowards once you're, once you've
retired, that the lifespan iscut back by as much as 30%, and
so think about that.
You work your entire lives thetraditional idea of 55, 60, 65,
depending on the situation thatyou're in only to have your
short in your life becauseyou've lived from an exterior
(11:58):
perspective of identity versustruly owning who you are.
And I think that comes back toour earlier part of our
conversation today.
We talked a little bit aboutthis fear, insecurity and this
imposter syndrome.
So in your work, as you'rehelping men guide them through
that, is there a tool, one toolyou could share with us today,
or a mindset shift that you havefound that has been pretty
(12:19):
effective for breaking throughthese barriers?
Speaker 3 (12:22):
No, I appreciate that , and I love the word mindset
because it really does startwith your mind.
It starts with the story you'retelling yourself, and so the
work that we do.
Obviously there's a foundationof identity, and the reason is
that I mentioned affirmations, Imentioned meditation before,
and it's not that these areinherently bad, but the
challenge is, when I do somesort of generic affirmation, I'm
(12:42):
a man of strength, I'm a man ofstrength or whatever it is.
I'm a man full of confidence.
Whatever the thing you're using, if it's not aligned with who
you believe you are, it'll neverbe effective in actually seeing
a change in your life.
And so when I'm trying to tellmyself I'm something that I
don't believe myself, you'llnever say it enough times for
you to actually believe it and,in that place, to act from it.
(13:02):
And so, for us, the first ofthose transformational
strategies I talked aboutearlier is mastering your
thoughts.
What I tell the guys I workwith is who you believe you are
you'll become, and if yourthoughts aren't aligned with who
you're created to be, thenthey're probably lying to you.
And because they're not alignedwith who you're created to be,
then our three-steptransformational strategy is
(13:24):
your thoughts, words and actions.
If my thoughts aren't alignedwith who I am, then my words
won't be aligned and then myactions won't, which means the
result of what I'm doing whetherI'm reaching for that
relationship that I want and Idesire, or I'm trying to find
that job that's my calling inlife, or I'm trying to create
that business that's, for me,the thing that I'm passionate
(13:45):
about.
Whether you go for it or notwill first be determined by who
you believe you are and theactions you take towards it.
So for us, it all starts withmastering your thoughts, but we
use those identity statementsand some of the other tools we
have for that so that you startto reaffirm who you are, so that
when challenge comes up or ornew decisions come up or stress
comes up which happens witheverybody you actually are
(14:08):
already primed understanding whoyou are.
Short version of it is I tellthe guys I work with you're the
answer to the room you'rewalking into.
You're not the question to befigured out.
When you continue to giveyourself thoughts that align
with who you're created to be,it starts to embolden you to
actually be that guy and in thatplace you start to live it out,
you start to have relationships, you start to have confidence,
(14:30):
you start to have assurance, yougo for those big goals and
those amazing dreams.
You don't hold back from thosebecause last time it didn't work
.
You really are just living fromthe place of.
This is who I am.
So this is how I'm going tolive it out.
And if I could give a caveat tothat, while you still have
success and I have guys who hadsuccess before, I worked with
them and they had greatersuccess after the success
(14:51):
doesn't change, but the joy ofit does.
When you're somebody who isliving for my outcomes, like you
talked about your happiness,your joy, your excitement for
that goal probably lasts aboutabout 10 minutes, because now,
all of a sudden, now I need todo another one and I need to do
another one after that.
But when you understand who youare, that your outcomes, your
(15:12):
success, your accomplishments inlife are simply an outworking
of who you are, and in thatplace you can actually retain
joy and have peace and haveexcitement in them, because I'm
not tied to the outcomes.
I know the outcomes are tied tome.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Love that.
I love that because itabsolutely you hit the nail on
the head.
There for me is when you talkedabout how it's it deepens the
enjoyment versus just having afleeting moment of success, and
so really, what we've beentalking about now we really want
to get into it's about having.
When we talk about having lifeby design, we're talking about
having a faith foundation in ourlives.
So let's talk about how youincorporate I'm a man of faith
(15:49):
as much as yourself, so how doyou, how are you incorporating
faith in your life mastery model, and how can men start to
integrate this idea of faithwith action in our lives?
Speaker 3 (16:01):
Yeah, I appreciate you bringing that up.
I am a.
I'm a person of faith as well,and so, for me, I'm a Christian,
and so every tool and strategywe have in life mastery is
foundationally created through ascripture of teaching and
instruction in the Bible thatwe've unpacked.
So, mastering your thoughts.
There's a Proverbs 23, seven.
As he as a man thinks in hisheart, so is he.
(16:22):
There's an instruction withinthat understanding that if I am
the sum total of my thoughts andif I am the man I think I am,
then how to become the man I wascreated to be is simply, first
and foremost, by changing mythoughts.
There's another scripture.
It says let the words of mymouth and the meditations of my
heart be pleasing in your sight.
Oh, lord my god.
So it's talking about my wordsbeing pleasing to God and my
(16:44):
meditations is another word foryour thoughts.
The question I have for theguys in the instruction we pull
from it is okay.
So if my thoughts and my wordsaren't aligned with who I'm
created to be, then how can theybe pleasing to the one who
created me?
So again, there's an alignmentof okay.
So, starting with identity,understanding who I am, using
that in my thoughts and in mywords, we always think outwardly
(17:07):
, and that's being people offaith.
A lot of times we think thatGod's word is intended for
everything else and everyoneelse, but the truth of the
matter is it's intended for usfirst, and that transformation
is a biblical concept ofunderstanding that you're being
transformed by the renewing ofyour mind, concept of
understanding that you're beingtransformed by the renewing of
your mind.
Again, when I align my mindwith who he says I am and what
I'm supposed to do now, all of asudden there's the
(17:32):
transformation that he's calledme to, and it's not transformed
into somebody you're not, butactually transformed into who
you were created to be.
And so I could go on all dayand I won't.
But all of it is foundationalin the word of God, but it's
using it, not as philosophy, notas bumper stickers or T-shirts
that we can wear, and thosethings aren't necessarily bad,
but they're not effective.
What's effective is finding theinstructions in it, finding
(17:55):
ways to apply it in your lifeand living it out.
And so that's what we've doneis take the instructions, use
them to understand.
Ok, this is what the blueprintlooks like.
This is what I see in his workand what he's done in my life me
specifically and so that'swhere life mastery has come from
is being able to do those.
How do you pull those out?
It's really understanding thatthere are instructions in the
word of God certainly my program, maybe your program as well
(18:15):
that you can find those toolsand those truths.
What I tell the men I work withis even the transformational
strategy mastering your thoughts, words.
They're in the word of god, butthere's scientific basis for
how do you change a habit into acontinual work that you're
doing?
How do you become a differentperson?
By changing your thoughts,words and actions.
But thousands of years beforescience figured that out, god
(18:39):
wrote it down, and so what Itell the guys I work with is
what's God already knew, whatscience now shows, and so
there's scientific backup, butthere's really scriptural
reference to it that predatesanything anybody understood
about how we work.
So you can use those things andyou can effectively do them in
a way that will actuallytransform your life.
(19:00):
The promise is real and true.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
You can be transformed into the man you're
created to be, so you can havethat life you're created for
completely agree, wholeheartedly, and in our program we dedicate
a specific pillar of our, inour lives, just to being tied
into spirit and god and yeah,and I think the for us, for us,
the action step that I encouragemy guys to do is to build into,
(19:25):
ideally, in your morningroutine to set the intention for
the day, to have a meditationpractice, read a little bit of
scripture, read something,listen to something that brings
joy for you and then to sit inand sit with it.
I do a meditation practice.
The idea is to sit in andreally just be quiet and listen
to what potentially the messageswill come for me, and I can
(19:49):
tell you that the days that thatI spend that time that 10, 15,
20 minutes, depending on how itgoes and to not put any rules
around it other than just goingto sit here and be I find I have
a much more connectionthroughout all aspects of life.
I'm more connected with thepeople that I interact with.
I have more connection withinin my alignment with my actions
(20:11):
overall, and I really feel thatis God working through me,
because I've taken theopportunity to allow that to
happen instead of living bydefault and getting up.
And when I was preparing forthis, I was thinking back about
30 years ago.
I saw this comic strip and Idon't know why it has stuck in
my head, but the comic strip wasjust a one character, one image
(20:32):
, and it was a husband and wifesitting laying in bed and his
right arm was really muscularand it was, and the caption was
about him hitting the snoozebutton, wanting to get out of
bed.
And I thought at the time.
I thought about how true isthat in life?
And yet, 25, 30 years later,that's still very true for many
(20:52):
aspects of even in my life.
It's okay, I'm just not said,I'm not doing anything to move a
certain aspect of my lifeforward.
And so what's the muscle am Ibuilding is basically what I'm
getting at.
But am I building this so thatit hit the snooze button because
I don't have any purpose todayor don't have lack of direction?
And what if I chose instead tobe more aligned with who I am,
(21:15):
who my creator has made me to be?
and lean into that, as scary asthat is going to be.
And I think that really thenleads me into talking about the
other aspect of your work,because you talk about being
able to expand our capacity.
So does someone reallyrecognize where their capacity
might be limited and what canthey do to help expand that?
Speaker 3 (21:37):
Yeah, and thank you for sharing your morning routine
.
I have one as well, and I lovethat that you bring that up
because it really is.
Life by design means thatthere's actions I take towards
it.
Life by default, as I tellpeople are you responding to the
life that's happening or areyou the response to it?
And that's the differencebetween the two.
I love the response of, and Ijust wanted to highlight that
(21:59):
the reason why I'm sure you doit and I would assume, and for
sure why I do it is the thingsthat you intentions, the things
that you focus on, become biggerin your life, and so that's why
the first of the morning isimportant.
When I start with God in my life, when I start with reading the
word and reminding myself of whoI am, now, all of a sudden, I
(22:21):
can properly go into my day sothat I'm influencing the things
that are happening.
I'm not allowing them toinfluence me.
So that is a profound thingthat you'd said.
I appreciate that.
I apologize.
I got so caught up with whatyou were saying I forgot about
your question.
What was the question again?
Speaker 1 (22:37):
I was just talking about how we can implement
expansion in our lives, andmaybe it is part of that morning
routine that helps createcapacity for us.
But is there anything else thatyou also look to do and teach
with your men?
Speaker 3 (22:51):
Yeah, absolutely.
And what I see in the word ofGod and I see in the people's
lives, the men's lives that Iwork with, is that there's an
impact in the world that hasyour name on it.
That's what I tell them.
There's something that is theyou thing.
It's not the ordinary, it's notthe average.
It's something that's a driver,a passion, a purpose, something
that's a gifting, a talent.
It's something that God plantedin the world with your name on
it.
And so how do you expand it?
(23:12):
For us, the definition of lifemastery that I talked to the
guys about is life mastery isliving the life, being the
person that you're created to beat the highest level that
you're created for, and that'sreally that expansion and being
that way in every area of yourlife.
For me, there's five areas.
It's the spiritual, relational,vocational, physical, financial
(23:33):
.
To me, these are the fivespheres that, if I can live out
the life and the maximum lifeI'm created for, in each of
these areas I'll have theamazing life I believe for, and
that belief comes fromunderstanding and having a
vision for them.
And so, when you start tounpack and understand identity,
when you start to understandthat who you are and the impact
you have.
It's the character you have,not the skill set you bring.
(23:55):
It's the man who's planted inthe moment, not the talents that
he brings with him.
So when you understand thosethings, you can start to have a
vision.
And so, for us, part of thatwork is having that idea of okay
, if this is who I'm created tobe, I'm created to have
compassionate, caring, intimaterelationships.
Okay.
So with my wife, what does thatlook like, lived out in our
(24:17):
marriage?
What's the highest vision I canhave that I believe God has for
us in our marriage?
It's ongoing intimacy.
It's dating and having hardconversations that lead to
better results.
It's having those times ofgreat joy and laughter.
It's going towards unifiedgoals that we're both passionate
about and seeing an impact fromour family because we're doing
(24:37):
it right.
So what is the vision that youhave for it?
What's the highest vision thatyou can have?
So what is the vision that youhave for it?
What's the highest vision thatyou can have?
And then what can you do towalk towards that, and who are
you meant to be in it?
So, again, identity and lifemastery is me understanding.
I have an impact.
I have an impact in my marriage.
And so who do I need to show upas?
Who did God create me to be inthis marriage?
(24:57):
And how can I invest that sothat dream, that goal, that
vision we have can be attainedby us?
And it's a I don't want to saymoving target, but it's an ever
elevating idea that when we getto that place right, if you're
physical area, if you'rephysically fit or you're going
towards a goal, some sort ofhealth goal and you reach it,
that's not the plateau that youlive on, that's just the next
(25:19):
floor that you sit on and looktowards, the next thing for you.
So that's a lot of that isunpacked in, kind of the
envisioning portion of what wedo.
But it all starts with who youare, because if you go for the
goals before you understandidentity and all of a sudden,
what you're reaching for arethings that are a substitute,
that are going to make me feelgood for the moment, versus
(25:40):
those things that I'm meant tohave my fingerprints on and to
live out.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Yeah, I completely agree and I think that's so key
that we understand that thisaspect of it and you talk about
really about envisioning andthat, and one of the practices
that I teach men is a visioningmeditation aspect.
It's an opportunity for them to.
I have a few questions for themto answer and to as they sit
there.
So it's a recorded thing forthem and it gives them an
(26:07):
opportunity to gain clarity inthat moment.
And I truly believe that ifthey're, if they practice this,
then they will get the message.
It'll be that quiet voice.
It won't be the ego one that'sbarking at us all the time.
It would be that quieter voicethat will ultimately show up.
And so I liked how you talkedabout you know, this idea of
where our lives get to and weimplement these habits and these
(26:30):
different strategies, and thenwe get to this plateau, or I
think you talked about as afloor, and I think that leads to
something else that I think weboth agree on is that sometimes
we can get into this habit offeeling that it's good enough
for us today, and so when you'reworking with men and you're in
that position, that place oflife is good enough, and how do
(26:50):
you reignite that hunger forthem, that passion, so they can
move away from just?
Maybe it's a perfectionism ideaor it's a sense of pride to
really find that hunger, a senseof pride to really find that
hunger?
Speaker 3 (27:01):
No, I think that's a great question, alan, because a
lot of times, when we say thatit's good enough, what we're not
saying that is, the truthbehind that statement is I'm not
willing to do what it takes toget better in this area, whether
it's in our marriage or in ourfitness or with our business job
, whatever the thing is thatyou're doing.
Really, the underlying truth isyou're not willing to pay the
(27:24):
price, you're not willing to gothere.
You don't feel comfortablebeing that vulnerable, that open
.
You're not willing to do thethings that it takes to get
there.
And so it always comes back tothis what's the life you believe
you're created for?
Because if you're unwilling tohave a vision beyond today, then
you probably won't do more thantoday.
But if you have that vision andthe honest truth is we all know
(27:51):
when we're settling forsomething I was going to say
sometimes or many of us, or mostof us, but it's the truth is we
know in our heart when it'slike I just backed off on that,
I didn't really go for it andit's fine.
I've been there, I've been inthat place.
But here's the interesting thingin Life Mastery when you start
to unpack identity, you start tofind that it's not the things
that I'm walking through thatmake me who I am, it's who I am
(28:11):
walking into them that changesthe meaning of those things I'm
walking through, meaning thisI'm created for and for me.
That's doing hard things.
That's having uncomfortableconversations.
That's reconciling with otherfolks when I've done something
wrong, I've said an incorrectword, right.
It's doing the hard things oflife and it's doing it from a
place of understanding.
That's just simply who I am.
(28:32):
When you understand who you are,then the outcomes and the
struggles and the challenges andthe possible failures they
don't have the impact that theyused to Back in the day, when
you're not feeling confident inwho you are, I have to succeed,
because if I don't succeed,what's it going to say about me?
And so you maybe reach forsmaller goals, you reach for
(28:53):
easier things or you hold backaltogether because I don't want
the possible negative outcome,because it'll make me feel like
a failure.
When you understand who you are, you'll understand that success
and failure aren't the equation.
It's how am I really living outwho I am?
And part of that journey is notbeing perfect in every aspect
and having to do things again,start another business, learn a
(29:15):
new task or trade.
So the more you're confident inwho you are, the less going
towards bigger goals issomething you're unwilling to do
.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
I really like that distinction that you said that
good enough means I'm notwilling to, and then you talked
about paying the price to get towhere we want to go, and that
paying that price can be beingvulnerable.
Having the conversation, thedifficult conversation, all the
things that show up, and I lovethat distinction.
The conversation, the difficultconversation, all the things
that show up, and I love thatdistinction.
And because for me, when yousaid that I just went, that
really made me uncomfortablegoing.
(29:46):
Yep, I've been good enough insome aspects of my life that I
need to address.
Why am I not willing to moveforward?
And what a great way to putthat.
And I think, for men that arelistening to this episode, maybe
you feel the same way.
And if you do leave a comment,let us know about that aspect of
your life as well.
There you feel that when youfeel it's good enough and that,
what aren't you willing to go alittle bit further for and get
(30:09):
after?
And, mark, both of us arementors.
We spend a lot of time coachingmen, working with men, maybe a
few wives as well.
In my life I know I've hadmentors as well who have helped
me, and so I question for youabout.
I've had mentors as well whohave helped me, and so I
question for you about is therea mentor, or is there, or maybe
there's part of scripture orsomething that was given to you?
I'll call it a piece of advicethat has served you and it
(30:34):
continues to serve you today,and would you mind sharing?
Speaker 3 (30:35):
that with us.
There's been a lot of advicethat I've ignored and sometimes
the things you ignore are moreimportant than the ones that you
accept.
True that when I was firstpassionate about God and really
going after it I mean going tonew locations, going on trips,
really wanting to experience thefullness of all things God had
I remember somebody told me onetime they said, hey, just take
(30:56):
it easy, you don't.
You should calm down, you don'tneed to do this much, you don't
need to do that.
If anybody ever tells you youdon't need to do this much, you
don't need to do that.
If anybody ever tells you youdon't need to do more, you don't
need to be as passionate as youare, that's probably somebody
to ignore.
While there may be mistakes ingoing for it and I've made
mistakes in my own life I thinkthe intention of wanting the
fullness of the thing thatyou're going after is an
(31:19):
honorable intention.
As far as mentors in my lifeI've had a lot of virtual
mentors, read books, listen tofolks the John Maxwell's or the
Tony Robbins or people that havegiven me incremental increase,
or even books.
One of my favorites was abiography of Teddy Roosevelt and
seeing how he overcome physicalissues in his life and loss in
(31:41):
his life as well, and some ofthe things that happen.
I get great inspiration frompeople who've come before, of
course in the Bible.
The Bible is paramount to meand if I was to give you one,
romans 12, 2 is a life scripturefor me.
It says do not be conformed tothe pattern of this world, but
be transformed by the renewingof your mind.
Then you'll be able to test andapprove what God's will is good
(32:01):
, pleasing and perfect will.
I memorized that scripture at atime because I wanted to know
his will for my life.
I felt there was more thanwhere I was at and I didn't know
what it was and I really wasn'tin a really honest relationship
with him.
It was more task oriented.
I was more of a servant than ason at the time, but I wanted
that thing.
I wanted to know what his willwas for my life and I believed
(32:21):
it was true that I could find it.
I just didn't know the pricethat the first part of the
sentence told me I needed to pay.
I thought that it was inrepetition and reciting things
and showing up and being goodenough that I'd be able to find
out, come to find out.
It was in a transformationalprocess.
It created everything that Iworked on that made life mastery
, first off in my own life andthen the things that I'm using
(32:44):
right now.
But it's that transformationalprocess because in studying it
what I found out was that theword transformation in English
is actually in Hebrew ismetamorpho, which is where you
get the word metamorphosis from.
And I'm a bit of a nerd and Istudied that word because when I
get into the scripture it's sorich and deep that there's so
(33:04):
much you can learn from itbeyond just the actual sentences
but the intent behind it andthe root words and what God
meant in those times.
That word metamorphosis ifobviously anywhere in the world,
if all, I would assume, in theworld, if you look it up, the
one example you probably wouldget would be a butterfly, which
(33:25):
is a caterpillar to a butterfly.
There's a metamorphosis processthat changes that insect, that
bug, from a caterpillar to abutterfly and I studied that and
what I found when I was readingup on it and studying it was
they said that you take a strandof DNA from the caterpillar and
a strand of DNA from thebutterfly and you compare the
two, two and they're exactly thesame.
The only thing that's changedis the outward appearance.
(33:45):
The inward, at the DNA level,the cellular level, of what this
insect was, never changed onebit, and I understood in that
that's exactly what God'scalling us to in transformation.
It's, he's not.
If you know, from a spiritualperspective, if God did not make
you perfectly, then he wouldn'tbe God.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Correct.
Speaker 3 (34:06):
So, with that understanding, he's not trying
to transform you into somebodyelse, because that means he
didn't make you correctly thefirst time.
He's trying to transform youinto who you were created to be,
and that's why the renewing ofthe mind is so powerful in this
part is because you will measureup to, you will have the life,
you will have the dreams and thegoals that you believe you
(34:26):
deserve and you believe you'recreated for.
You will never have an impactgreater than you believe you're
supposed to, and so thattransformation isn't a
transformation to somebodydifferent I, early on in my
Krishna walk, thought it was.
It's a transformation into whohe actually created you to be,
not what your life has told you,not what the world says you are
, not what others maybe haveinfluenced you to believe you
(34:48):
are capable of, but to really bethe person you're created to be
, because that man can changethe world.
And so that was definitely afoundation of my life in that
scripture and unpacking it andtrying to live it out a
foundation of my life in thatscripture and unpacking it and
trying to live it out.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
I love that and I love that part of scripture as
well.
Mark, everything that we'vetalked about today and maybe
there was something we didn'tget a chance to touch on what
would be the one takeaway you'dlike our listeners to have?
Speaker 3 (35:15):
The one takeaway is your belief matters.
I believe, like we talked about, we know when we're holding out
and we're holding off, we'restepping back rather than
stepping in.
But I believe there's alsosomething on the inside, the
other side of that coin, is weknow it because we believe we're
worth more than that.
We believe we're better thanthose things that we're doing
(35:35):
sometimes and what I would tellthe guys.
If you are a person who'sspiritual, I believe there's a
spirit inside of you that'stelling you the truth, even
though the world and your pastand your pain has given you a
voice that's louder, if thatstill small voice is talking
about God.
But that still small voiceinside of you, I believe, is the
spirit on the inside tellingyou there is more.
(35:55):
You are correct.
And it may not be easy and itmay not be a quick fix, but
it'll so be worth it If youlisten to that voice, if you
heed it and find the tools andstrategies to get to the place
where you're created to be.
It'll all be worth it If you dothat.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
Completely agree and love that.
What a great way to wrap uptoday's conversation.
I just want to say thank you somuch, mark, for spending time
with us today and sharing yourwisdom on what it means to live
a life mastery journey, and soyour insights have truly given
us a powerful framework forbreaking free from default and
living and stepping into thehero that has God created us to
(36:35):
be, and men are interested ingetting a hold of you,
participating in your work.
What's the best way for them todo that?
Speaker 3 (36:41):
Yeah, I appreciate the question.
I try and be a one-stop shop,so my shop is my website, it's
freedom-for-lifenet.
You can sign up for my courseout there called Life Mastery.
There's actually an ebookversion of my book Life Mastery
Living Life by Design, not bydefault, so you can have it on
any device you want.
You can get my book on Amazonbecause everything's on Amazon
nowadays and if you wanted toreach out to me specifically to
(37:03):
talk about any life masteryquestions or whether it's for
you, you can reach me atmarkmark at freedom-for-lifenet.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
Perfect.
I'm going to make sure all ofthose that information is in
today's show notes, as well aswherever you we can find you on
social media.
As we wrap up today's episode,I want to challenge you to do
one more thing with thisquestion Are you merely managing
your life or are you trying tomaster it, or actually mastering
it?
If you're ready to step out offear, insecurity and small
thinking and step into yourgreatness that you were designed
(37:34):
to do, your journey beginstoday, and so, in our program,
go to memberstheawakenedmannetand we have a free integrity
challenge for you to take.
Don't settle for survival, butreally build the life that you
were made to live, and so livewith courage, lead with power
and let's get started today.
Gentlemen, thank you so muchfor being on the show again.
(37:55):
Mark Really appreciated ourconversation.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
Yeah, great joy to be here.
Thank you for it.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
Thank you for listening to the Revolutionary
man podcast.
Are you ready to own yourdestiny, to become more the man
you are destined to be?
Join the brotherhood that isthe Awakened man at
theawakendmannet and startforging a new destiny today.
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