November 30, 2025 • 36 mins
Let me know your thoughts on the show and what topic you would like me to discuss next.
The suit fits, the numbers look great, and the applause is loud—so why does it still feel off inside? We sit down with leadership guide and speaker Chad Brignac to explore the uncomfortable gap between external performance and internal peace. Chad opens up about the tragedies that shattered his autopilot—losing his first wife and later becoming a full-time caregiver after his wife’s stroke—and how those moments exposed a “broken legacy” built on results over relationships.
What follows is a candid road map for men who lead at work but feel like strangers at home. Chad redefines emotional intelligence as clarity, not suppression: notice the trigger, pause, ask why, and deal with the roots—fear, pride, old vows—rather than the surface behaviour.
You’ll hear practical frameworks you can use today. Calibrate your people compass so success doesn’t come at the expense of relationships. Learn how blind spots show up like lane changes. If your legacy feels “off,” this conversation offers a way to rebuild from the inside out and measure success by inner peace, not just titles.
If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs the reset, and leave a quick review to help others find these conversations. Your support helps us champion leadership with impact and integrity.
Key moments in this episode:
02:24 Guest Introduction: Chad Brina's Journey
03:26 Facing Personal Tragedy and Transformation
06:32 Discovering Inward Alignment
10:04 The Power of Vulnerability and Emotional Intelligence
12:20 Blend Don't Break: Leadership Lessons
19:36 Recognizing Blind Spots and Growth
32:22 The Greenhouse Effect: Creating a Healthy Environment
34:50 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
How to reach Chad:
Website: https://chadmbrignac.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chadmbrignac
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chadmbrignac/
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@chadmbrignac?feature=shared
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/mark-collins-freedom-for-life
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/chadmbrignac/about
Thanks for listening to the Revolutionary Man Podcast. For more information about our programs, please use the links below to learn more about us. It could be the step that changes your life.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:05):
There comes a time or even a moment in every man's
life when the suit fits, thebank account's growing, the
accolades are up, but insidesomething still feels a little
bit off.
It's that silent tension ofsuccess without the fulfillment.
And maybe you're admired atwork, but you feel like a
stranger at home.
And maybe you lead others well,but you can't look yourself in
(00:26):
the mirror without feelingdisconnected.
And so today we're going to pullback the curtain on what really,
what it really takes for us tolead, not just in the boardroom,
but in our relationships, in ourfaith, in our internal world.
And so because power withoutpurpose truly leaves us empty,
the performance withoutalignment eventually starts to
crumble.
And so this episode is aboutbreaking that cycle.
(00:48):
So if this is a kind of messagethat's going to resonate with
you, then if you're ever feelinglike you're winning in one area
of life but losing where itcounts, then I'd like you to
take a moment right now andsmash that like button,
subscribe, and share thisepisode.
It's your support that helps usspread this vital message to men
who are ready to lead with bothimpact and integrity.
And with that, let's get on withtoday's episode.
SPEAKER_01 (01:24):
Yet the hunger still exists, albeit buried amidst
discluttered mind, misguidedbeliefs, and values that no
longer serve him.
It's time to align yourself forgreatness.
It's time to become arevolutionary man.
Stay strong, my brother.
SPEAKER_00 (01:43):
Welcome back, everyone, to the Revolutionary
Man Podcast.
My name is Alan DiMontzo.
I'm the host of this show andthe founder of the Revolutionary
Man Movement.
And my mission here is to helpmen lead with power and purpose
and integrity in every area ofour life, from faith to family
and business and with personalgrowth.
But before the break, weunpacked a hard truth that
(02:03):
external successes doesn'talways equal internal peace,
does it?
Maybe men chase titles, maybe wechase money, maybe it's even
recognition, but only to findourselves feeling empty at the
end of the day.
What if that breakthrough thatyou're looking for isn't
external at all?
Then what if the realtransformation begins within?
(02:23):
And so today's guest knows thisjourney all too well.
Chad Brignak is atransformationalist speaker
consultant and bringshigh-performance leaders to help
them find alignment, emotionalintelligence, and purpose.
The trans profit and a seasonedconstruction industry leader who
has turned leadership guide, hisleadership guide, and Chad's
personal wake-up call almostcost him everything.
(02:46):
I'm sure we're going to get intothat today.
Since then, he's devoted hislife to helping others reclaim
who they truly are from theinside out.
Welcome to the show, Chad.
How are things, my friend?
SPEAKER_02 (02:55):
Going great.
Really enjoying living andwalking and breathing inside my
purpose.
I'm looking forward to the show.
SPEAKER_00 (03:03):
Oh, I love that.
I love the sound of that.
Absolutely.
We're all about living withinand purpose and really looking
forward to our conversationtoday.
And so my opening question foryou today, Chad, is you're going
to talk about all of us being ona hero's quest of some sort.
And then your journey, tell usabout that moment in your life
when you knew things had tochange.
What shifted for you?
And what how did that shape youinto the man you are today?
SPEAKER_02 (03:26):
Yeah, so for me, it was tragedy that struck that
really put me in a position tobe able to look at my life from
a different perspective.
My wife had a massive stroke in2019, December 1st.
And it wasn't even in thatinstant moment.
It was when my head came upabove the water a year and a
half later after my only focuswas to make sure she was cared
(03:48):
for and I was a full-timecaregiver.
But as I pulled my head up outof the water, I looked at all
the things that I hadaccomplished in the business
world and all the things that Ihad built in construction.
And I looked around at thepeople that I had influenced and
who I had around me, includingmy family, and I realized that
my legacy was broken.
And it was in that moment I hadto say, Chad, you're responsible
(04:11):
for everything broken aroundyou.
Don't blame anyone or anythingelse except the fact that you
are responsible for all of it.
I didn't say that because it wastrue or not true.
I said that because it needed toput my internal being into a
position that was ready to grow.
SPEAKER_00 (04:30):
That's such a powerful statement that you
talked about your legacy wasbroken.
And how often do we get anopportunity to face that monster
in our lives that when weconsider the work that we're
doing, we talked about in theintro a little bit about how we
chase titles or we chasesuccess.
And you ended up by having toface this reality.
(04:50):
And so tell us a little bit moreabout what you mean by legacy
being broken.
SPEAKER_02 (04:56):
Yeah, so for me, my legacy is my life gonna live on
from the people that I'vetouched.
My wife, my children, mygrandchildren, those that I
worked with, worked alongsideof.
Are they gonna remember ChadBrignack because the impact that
he made into their lives and thevalue that he added?
Are they gonna remember ChadBrignack also briefly because he
(05:17):
built a lot of big things?
And my legacy was about buildingthings.
It wasn't about building people.
And I realized that I had a lotof opportunity to influence
others to be great, to findtheir purpose, to walk in their
purpose.
But it was the way I was, it wasthe way I was brought up, it was
(05:40):
the way I was trained, it wasthe way I learned that business,
the way I learned the industry,that built walls around my life
that didn't let people in.
And I didn't know those wallswere constructed, and I
certainly didn't know I washiding behind them until this
moment when I had to peek overthe top and go, my hands have
(06:00):
not touched the life the waythat I expected them to.
And that's what I meant by mylegacy was broken.
SPEAKER_00 (06:07):
Yeah, it makes so much sense to me, Chad, when you
say that.
Oh, it rings all very true in mylife as well.
Building a lot of other things,things that I felt were
important, especially at thetime, only to recognize that
what was truly valuable andtruly important had nothing to
do with really business success.
It has more to do with theimpact I'm making on family and
(06:29):
on friends and people that arethat I care about.
And so you talk a lot about thedifference between looking what
outward success looks like andthen this inward alignment.
So, how did you discover?
You obviously with your wife'sstroke, that was one step in the
process.
You're starting to unpack herefor us a little bit about
understanding that you were outof alignment.
(06:51):
And so, how did you start tocourse correct?
SPEAKER_02 (06:54):
Yeah, so the journey began long before that.
That was the wake-up call.
I had many wake-up calls prior.
I actually lost my first wife atage 28.
She was 30 years old, she passedaway instantly of a cerebral
aneurysm.
Was remarried about a yearlater, and we blended our
family, which that brought itsown events of opportunity for me
(07:19):
to transform and grow.
But there was a moment in mylife where I was in a
conversation with a pastor ofmine, and the conversation was
challenging me to speakdifferently to people, to change
my tone, change my voice, andthe way that I communicate, and
the words came out of me thatsaid, you don't realize I don't
even like people.
That's not how I really felt.
(07:40):
That's not how I thought I felt.
But because I was determinedthat no one was going to ever
hurt me, because I wasdetermined that I was gonna not
care what people thought of me,and I was gonna pursue the
things that I knew I needed topursue, provide well for my
family, love my family, dothings for my family, and be
(08:01):
there as a provisionary.
I didn't care what othersthought of me.
I didn't care if they thought mysuccess came with collateral
damage.
It didn't matter to me whatother people thought.
And that developed within me,and it doesn't develop for
everybody, but that developedwithin me the way I protected
myself was I started to just notlike people.
(08:22):
That was the defining moment,and that was about 15 years ago.
And that's when the journeyreally began to go, what how
could I end up there?
Because that's not the heart,that's not the person, that's
not who I ever wanted to be.
And those words shocked even me.
Then the stroke happened roughlyseven years later or so, eight
(08:45):
years later, as I'm on thisjourney and having challenges
from business owners,co-workers, business partners,
my wife, who is the extrovert inthe environment.
And I'm constantly beingchallenged internally to change
how I view people.
I did have a shift in thatmoment to say I care what people
(09:07):
think of me.
It's how I process that matters.
So it shifted, and I said, Idon't want to be the guy that
doesn't like people.
I want to love people, I want tofollow Christ as far as related
to people.
I want to see people in a newway.
That was easy to say, and abouta 12-year journey to get to,
which is where I am today.
And it was in that moment afterthe stroke when my head came up
(09:30):
above the water to go, that hadhurt me.
I had planted more seeds in thatseason of my life before I
recognized I didn't like people,that I had not done enough to
cultivate new seed or plant newseed over the next 12 years,
although I was growing on theinside.
And it was that openness andvulnerability to say, I'll take
ownership of all of it.
(09:53):
I don't need to know whathappened or why it happened.
I just need to know that I'm atfault.
unknown (09:58):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (09:59):
Because in order for me to plant new seed, something
had to change within me.
So my process began with just alevel of starting to look at
vulnerability as a positivething.
Not going to be afraid forpeople to get close enough to
hurt me.
I'm not going to be afraid forpeople to say things that
trigger.
Do I still get triggered?
(10:20):
I still get triggered now.
It was how I looked at thosetriggers.
I started a journey to say,okay, if something triggered me,
I want to know why.
I don't want to react.
I don't want to overreact.
I want to simply just know why.
And when I started to ask thewhy did that trigger me, and I
drilled down into the reason Igot triggered, I started to
(10:41):
discover the roots of pain in mylife that created fear and
insecurity and pride and ego.
And I would work backwards intothose roots.
And then I would just ask theLord to start to deal with those
roots and I would move on to thenext trigger.
But it it's constantly thequestion of if something hits me
on the inside, my first reactionnow is a pause.
(11:05):
And there's so much power in thepause.
I want to know why.
And then I respond out of love,regardless of the trigger,
because typically every time ithappens, it's never the person
that triggered me.
It's never the situation thattriggered me.
It's always something deeper andbigger from my past, or there's
(11:26):
something that still needsgrowth within me.
SPEAKER_00 (11:30):
That is so true.
I'm just made to note that thepower is in the pause.
And I think that is such apower, it's really a truly a
powerful remembrance for all ofus to recognize that really what
you're talking about as being istruly being emotionally
intelligent, leaders ofourselves first and foremost.
And then taking the having thecourage, the confidence to be
(11:51):
vulnerable enough to accept thatsomething here is happening.
And you're absolutely right.
It's very little, if anything,to do with the immediacy of that
moment.
It has everything to do, most ofit to do with what we've
processed from lessons in thepast.
And so being able to help usbring it forward into the
present, we can start to dealwith things.
And I like that you've leaned onfaith to also help you take off
(12:14):
this burden because that's whatit's truly there for to help us
relieve some of this burden.
And so you talk about in yourbook Blend Ben Bend Don't Break.
You address this dynamic, thisidea of these dynamic families.
So let's talk about how thatleadership lesson there really
helped apply to how you'reteaching men and families to
(12:35):
lead in these types ofenvironments.
SPEAKER_02 (12:38):
Yeah, so it's a play on bend don't break, it's blend
don't break.
Right on.
You had it right the first time.
Yes.
Creating your family secretsauce, which now that book is
out, and I've read it fivetimes, and I'm on my sixth time
reading it.
It's going to become a series: Blend Don't Break, Creating Your (12:54):
undefined
Business's Secret Sauce, BlendDon't Break, Creating Your
Church's Secret Sauce.
I am already working on theoutlines for those books.
So they'll be coming out overthe next couple of years.
Because the leadership lessonsthat came out of the book that
wasn't intended as we werewriting it, we just we set out
(13:16):
to write a book that would besupportive of blended families
to not walk through what we walkthrough.
To break out of there, learnbehaviors, personal vows,
insecurities, learn to forgive,clean the slate, recognize that
you don't need a traumatic eventin your life in order to grow.
You can make a choice.
And if you think about it,everybody has faced some sort of
(13:38):
trauma because trauma is yourperspective of what happened to
you.
We could see as adults that ourchildren didn't face trauma.
We actually even thought that.
But then when we got theirperspective in the book, because
they each have a chapter inwhich they were interviewed in
the book, we recognized that wasreal trauma to them.
(14:01):
And it didn't matter what ourperspective was.
And that's where we realized inthe business world, people are
in your room that have realtrauma to them.
And we just push that aside asthough they don't have a right
to feel that way or think thatway.
And we have to start recognizingpeople's rights to have certain
feelings.
It's the only way we're going tobe able to grow together and
(14:24):
everybody find their uniquepurpose.
So in the process of writing thebook, I became more vulnerable.
My life is exposed in that book,my mistakes, my anger, which is
my defense mechanism to dealwith everything that affected
me.
The fact that my work became mysafe space because I felt
(14:44):
accepted there.
I felt accomplished there.
I didn't feel as accomplished athome, but I would treat my home
as though it was a businessbecause I felt more confident
there at work, and that spirojust continued to get worse and
impact my family and impact mycareer because I made more
career moves than I would havemade had I had a healthy home
(15:06):
environment.
I was always searching for thatpeace, and I always would find
it in becoming a workaholic,putting in the 80, 90 hours a
week, being challenged with newprojects, with new things I
could accomplish that otherscouldn't do, doing it faster
than others, doing it betterthan others.
And I just left a wake ofdestruction as far as related to
(15:29):
people.
And in the book, that level ofvulnerability began to show me
three things that I was learningabout myself and discovering
that I had changed from nothaving to having.
I lacked self-awareness.
I gained it in the process ofwriting the book.
I lacked emotional intelligence.
(15:52):
I not only gained emotionalintelligence, but I have a new
perspective on what emotionalintelligence is.
And it's more than justregulating your emotions the way
that it's been taught.
It's that clarity andunderstanding of what that
(16:12):
emotion means and why you haveit.
You can regulate it bysuppressing it, but when you
feel pressure, you're going torealize you never grew in
emotional intelligence becausewhat comes out when you get
squeezed is going to be exactlythe person that you are.
So I look for opportunities tobe squeezed because I want to
know that I changed and grew inemotional intelligence.
(16:35):
And then finally, compassionateleadership, modeling after
Christ, how he walked incompassion.
He had a way of communicatingwith people and showing love
first, which gave himopportunity to speak bold truth.
And people received it.
Whether they agreed or not, theystill received it.
(16:55):
And that compassionateleadership clearly begins with
servant leadership, but it's themodel of my life is not more
important than someone else's.
I'm willing to put that lifeaside to give someone a moment
to find their purpose, to findtheir place, to be accepted for
who they are and where they are.
Those three things have begun toshift my consulting business.
(17:19):
I was always operations andstrategic minded and systems.
And I changed my business modelto start consulting on this
inner work because I believetrue success is inner peace, not
outward outward performance orposition.
That all came from this processof writing this book.
That was the accumulation of mytransformational growth over the
(17:43):
last two years.
It started in November of 2023.
And that process has been theaccumulation of taking my
personal growth and mytransformation full circle to
bring me to a place of thisunderstanding that I have now.
And the things that I wasfighting to learn now start to
(18:06):
come natural.
That pause is natural.
The response instead of thereaction is natural.
Again, I'll repeat the triggersare still there.
But they don't, they're like asignal light.
Hey, they just turn yellow,start to slow down, it's red,
stop.
It's not a car crash.
It's not somebody throwing afist at me.
(18:29):
It's not the way I used to feelit before, but they're still
there.
SPEAKER_00 (18:35):
I think that's the key, really that key for growth,
isn't it?
Is being able to recognize thatour ability to grow and change
as men isn't about eliminatingthese things, this part of our
lives.
We talk in our work about thatbeing the shadow work, these
triggers, these things that arehappening below the surface for
us.
And we don't want to address it.
But if we willing to have thecourage and be have that
(18:58):
vulnerable confidence that youtalk about as well, and lean
into that, we can we can startto have different mechanisms to
deal with that.
And it's obvious through hearingyour story that you've been able
to transition that fromsomething that is was a reactive
state to being much more of froma pause and be able to be
respond in a way that makes moresense.
(19:21):
And so through that journey,though, you must have recognized
that there were some blind spotsthat you had.
And maybe now in your consultingwork, maybe there's some
patterns or some common blindspots you're seeing that other
individuals.
And let's talk about those for acouple minutes.
SPEAKER_02 (19:35):
Blind spots, I still have.
Blind spots, I'm gonna have, Ibelieve, the rest of my life.
I have my second book coming outcalled The Visionary Storm, and
we reference blind spots.
They come in two ways.
They come in, we gotta look inthe mirror to reflect on
ourselves.
But even when we look in themirror, just as we're changing
(19:58):
lanes in the car, there'scertain, unless we navigate for
forever trying to find everyspot, we're gonna miss a spot.
And we have a potential to notsee a car or motorbike which is
smaller on the side of us whenwe change lanes.
But if we spend too much time inthat mirror, we're not looking
forward.
(20:18):
So then we can rear endsomething in front of us.
That's how our life is.
So for me, that's the first wayof blind spots.
And then for me, I reflect longenough to gain growth from it.
I reflect no long enough for itto serve a purpose in my today.
And then I don't ever use itagain.
(20:39):
From that reflection, though, Irecognize that even though I
reflected, I still may havemissed something.
So this open and vulnerable lifeis that when I do say something
that is that comes off wrong orit's different from what I
believe I grow past, I hear itnow.
I feel it, I sense it.
(21:01):
And then I let others in.
So I let anyone in my world,stranger or known, impact my
life and show me my blind spots.
And I don't take anything that'ssaid back to me personally, I
take it as help.
I take it as an opportunity togrow.
(21:22):
So right now, there's certainthings my wife does that I still
revert, I want to revert back tothat anger thing, and that's a
blind spot for me.
I'll get a question that catchesme off guard, and I'll nowhere
near snap back the way I usedto, but there's a reaction that
(21:43):
I'm like, okay, that's not you.
And I'll go to her and I'll saywhat I just did, how did I?
And because it's so much better,it impacted her less, but it
still impacted her.
I have I was at an environment,and this is a good story for
(22:03):
this, and a lady was frustratedpicking up her service, which
she expected to get.
The people that I was with, theywere helping her the best they
possibly could, but she wasmiserable.
And it showed in the attitude,and it culminated with her
(22:27):
saying, Y'all have an amazingday, and we say, You too, and
she goes, I won't.
And I recognize okay, that wasin sarcasm when she said, Have
an amazing day.
And she's really determined inher life that she's not going to
today because this eventderailed her life a little bit.
(22:49):
Yeah.
Everyone else started to makecomments, and I sat back quietly
and I go, Have I ever done that?
Did I ever act like that?
And if I'm gonna stand heretoday and say she doesn't have a
right to act that way, why did Ihave a right to act that way in
the past?
And how do I avoid doing thatagain in the future?
(23:13):
So that's what I mean byeveryone impacts my life.
It doesn't matter if it's a goodsituation or a bad situation.
I'm looking for the opportunityto not pinpoint that person out
or look at that person in a way,but let that person show me.
Yeah.
The other blind spots are thingsthat we don't see coming from
(23:34):
the side of us.
Things we don't see coming at ahigh speed and a high rate of
speed.
And there's people in our livesthat are saying, like my wife
used to tell me all the time,Chad, you can't talk to people
that way.
Babe, we gotta be more engagedwith people.
Babe, we gotta spend more timewith these people.
(23:54):
You gotta do this with yoursons, you gotta do it separately
with your sons.
I'll come home and share a workstory and go, you talk to them
like that?
Yeah, that's how I was raised.
But does that matter?
Those things are just coming atyou.
And there's very little thingsthat I learned that require an
(24:17):
emergency type of response fromus in our life.
And when we posture ourselves tobe able to recognize that very
little things require that kindof reaction, we can slow down
enough to hear other peoplegiving us warning.
(24:39):
And in my book, I wrote mystory, I pulled out in traffic.
I didn't pull out in traffic, Ipulled out after a train and I
got sideswiped in my mom's car.
I was 15 years old.
I learned later that the peoplewere flagging me, they were
blowing the horn at me.
They were trying to get myattention loud and clear.
(25:02):
But because my radio was up,because I was the 15-year-old
son, the youngest boy driving mymom's brand new car that my
brothers didn't get to drive.
My pride was up, my ego was up,my music was up, and I was just
in my zone, and no one was gonnapenetrate me, and I didn't need
(25:23):
anyone's help.
And that's a model of successfulleaders.
That I'm the king, I'm incharge, I'm accomplishing all
these things.
We're making billions, we'remaking millions, we're, and no
one's gonna impact my life, andthat leaves us vulnerable to so
many blind spots.
(25:45):
And those blind spots generallyalways impact relationships.
They rarely impact businesssuccess.
I do want to say, and I've beensaying, I've been thinking it
since the start of the call,there's nothing wrong with
business success.
It's when it comes at theexpense of people.
SPEAKER_00 (26:06):
Exactly.
SPEAKER_02 (26:06):
Then there's a major issue with business success.
I'm an advocate for businesssuccess.
Of course, I want a successfulconsulting business, a
successful speaking business.
I want to write 25 more booksover the next 10 years.
We all want success, but mypeople compass was off.
And I had to dial in my peoplecompass over the last two years.
(26:34):
Transformation began long beforethat, but over the last two
years I had to get reallyserious and dial in my people
compass.
And the way I did that is to putaside business success.
It had no value for mewhatsoever.
That was the road I had totravel.
Does everyone have to travelthat?
(26:54):
Not necessarily, but I did.
You gotta find that road youhave to travel, and that's gonna
show you a purpose.
And some people may be living intheir purpose in that CEO seat,
in that COO seat, in thatpresident, that business owner.
That may be their purpose.
They just need some refinementin how they navigate every day
(27:16):
so they can bring people aroundthem and find fulfillment in
relationship and find internalhealing.
So everyone's journey isdifferent, but the outcome of
inner peace is the only realsuccess.
SPEAKER_00 (27:33):
Yeah, I completely agree with you.
And just as you're talking aboutpurpose, and we started this
podcast today talking aboutthat, and that it does become, I
find more and more, you know,individuals that I have on the
show, and I look back at my lifeas well, we do get wrapped up in
this purpose trap, right?
Where we feel that we're livingour purpose, so to speak, at the
(27:54):
ex, but at times it's at theexpense of other things.
And you can still be in purpose.
And I like how you're framingthis for us is that we can still
be in purpose and still refineand re and recognize that there
are other things that are justare just as important to help us
because that's where thefulfillment resides.
You may be living the career orthe piece of your life, and
(28:17):
maybe even at your purpose islet's flip it on the other side.
Maybe your purpose is all aboutjust being a parent.
But if you get lost in that oneaspect, you're missing so much
more in life.
And so, for when I think abouthow you're talking about purpose
and that and the work thatyou're doing right now, what
advice would you give a manwho's maybe feel stuck?
(28:39):
Like he's performing really wellexternally, but he is feeling
empty and he is feelingdisconnected.
What would be that advice you'dgive him?
SPEAKER_02 (28:49):
What I would say is you peel back the curtain to the
inner soul and you look atrelationships, take away all the
business accolades, just look atyour relationships.
Look around your life to seewho's closest, who's putting
(29:10):
trust and confidence in you,who's approaching you.
And if you based on what you'redying, you'll know how much
influence you've gained withpeople around you.
I'm not asking you to askyourself if you are
approachable, if you love yourloved ones, if you love your
(29:33):
wife, if you love your husband,if you love your kids, if you
love your family, your friends,if you believe you're
approachable.
I'm not asking for any of that.
I'm asking you to actually pullback the curtain and see if
these people are receiving thosethings, if they are coming to
you, if I tell a story thatAmazon can deliver a package and
(29:54):
set it outside the door, but ifI never open it, I could send it
to one of my children, but if itsits outside the door, The door
and they never get it and openit, it's not received.
So I sent so much love myfamily's way.
But the majority of that was notreceived because I didn't deal
with the issue of why theyweren't receiving it.
And the reason they wasn'treceiving is they didn't feel
(30:16):
they were heard, they didn'tfeel they had a voice, they
didn't feel dad wasapproachable.
The people at work didn't feel Iwas approachable.
The people that I was successfulwith are the ones that had the
same bad attitude I did, and wewould get a lot of work done.
And we would even laugh and cutup.
But if they were hurting athome, I would have never heard
(30:38):
anything about it.
If they were hurting in theirrelationships, I would have
never heard anything about it.
And the most vulnerable time Iwas in my life, in my career,
was when my first wife diedbecause everyone knew about it
because I took two and a halfweeks off of work.
So when I showed back up, therewas a different attitude towards
me for just a season until thejerk came back.
(31:04):
Then everything went back to thestatus quoted it was.
And that's the kind of curtainpullback I'm talking about.
I had opportunities becausepeople wanted to be there for
me.
That I could have changed theway I worked with people, talked
with people, dealt with people,loved people, led people.
(31:25):
I could have changed it all inthat moment because life gave me
a grand opportunity to do it.
And failures to do that for us.
Any failure, any difficult time,any traumatic event will give us
an opportunity to redirect ourpeople compass, whether we take
it or not, is totally up to us.
SPEAKER_00 (31:45):
Yes.
Love that idea of this peoplecompass.
And one of the notes I justwrote down is that they didn't
feel that they were heard.
And I'm about to address somevery challenging conversations
this upcoming week.
And so thank you for that gentlereminder for me to be aware of
that are they being heard?
(32:05):
Because I think that issomething we tend to maybe
forget.
And so Chad have just loved thisconversation.
So of everything that we spokeabout today, but maybe there was
something we didn't get a chanceto touch on.
And what would be a takeawayyou'd want our listeners to
have?
SPEAKER_02 (32:22):
One thing we talk about in the book, Blend Don't
Break, is the greenhouse effect.
And I believe I've shared thison the last couple podcasts that
I've been on, that because it'sso important to me, this
greenhouse effect is tellingleaders that you're responsible
for the environment in which theplants flourish and grow.
You're responsible to keep thetemperature controlled, the
(32:46):
light controlled, the greenhouseprotection sealed and not left
open to vomits and things likethat.
And too many leaders get caughtup in I'm responsible to bend
and shape and nurture the plantand direct and shift.
And that's the same thing withour people.
I'm responsible to push them inthis direction or pull them in
that direction.
(33:06):
And we see plants and trees asthey go where we'll put sticks
in them and try to get them togo a certain way.
All they're shooting for is thelight.
All they're aiming to get to isthe best environment.
So if we're having to put sticksand nail ropes and tie these
things on them, it's becausesomething happened.
(33:27):
Or we're not creating the rightenvironment or the right light
for them to grow in the rightdirection.
We have so little to do withwhat people are drawn to
accomplish when we're in theirKool-Aid, when we're constantly
trying to shape and mold anddirect.
(33:49):
And we have so much to do withwhat they're willing to invest
and put in when we create ahealthy environment for them to
thrive in.
(34:33):
That's what I would leavelisteners with.
It's two dynamics that haverevolutionized the way I see my
family, business, and the world,to be honest with you.
SPEAKER_00 (34:47):
What a great way for us to wrap up today's
conversation.
I just want to say, Chad, thankyou so much for being an
outstanding guest and joining mehere today and sharing your
wisdom, not just on purpose,being a purpose-driven leader,
but also being emotionallyintelligent as well and
transformative.
And so your journey truly isthis reminder for us that the
greatest leaders are those whochoose to lead from within and
(35:10):
from listening.
For those of us that arelistening and you want to
connect deeper into your work,what would be the best way for
them to do that?
SPEAKER_02 (35:17):
The best way is to go to my website,
Chadmbrignack.com.
SPEAKER_00 (35:22):
Love that.
I'm going to make sure that's onin today's show notes as well to
wherever else, Chad, you're onsocial media.
Want to make sure that folks getan opportunity to connect with
you.
Once again, thank you so much,my friend, for being on the
show.
I love today's conversation.
SPEAKER_02 (35:35):
Thank you so much.
I enjoyed being here.
SPEAKER_01 (35:49):
Thank you for listening to the Revolutionary
Man podcast.
Are you ready to own yourdestiny?
To become more the man you'redestined to be?
Join the Brotherhood that is TheAwakened Man at
theawakendeman.net.
Start forging a new destinytoday.
There comes a time or even a moment in every man's
life when the suit fits, thebank account's growing, the
accolades are up, but insidesomething still feels a little
bit off.
It's that silent tension ofsuccess without the fulfillment.
And maybe you're admired atwork, but you feel like a
stranger at home.
And maybe you lead others well,but you can't look yourself in
(00:26):
the mirror without feelingdisconnected.
And so today we're going to pullback the curtain on what really,
what it really takes for us tolead, not just in the boardroom,
but in our relationships, in ourfaith, in our internal world.
And so because power withoutpurpose truly leaves us empty,
the performance withoutalignment eventually starts to
crumble.
And so this episode is aboutbreaking that cycle.
(00:48):
So if this is a kind of messagethat's going to resonate with
you, then if you're ever feelinglike you're winning in one area
of life but losing where itcounts, then I'd like you to
take a moment right now andsmash that like button,
subscribe, and share thisepisode.
It's your support that helps usspread this vital message to men
who are ready to lead with bothimpact and integrity.
And with that, let's get on withtoday's episode.
SPEAKER_01 (01:24):
Yet the hunger still exists, albeit buried amidst
discluttered mind, misguidedbeliefs, and values that no
longer serve him.
It's time to align yourself forgreatness.
It's time to become arevolutionary man.
Stay strong, my brother.
SPEAKER_00 (01:43):
Welcome back, everyone, to the Revolutionary
Man Podcast.
My name is Alan DiMontzo.
I'm the host of this show andthe founder of the Revolutionary
Man Movement.
And my mission here is to helpmen lead with power and purpose
and integrity in every area ofour life, from faith to family
and business and with personalgrowth.
But before the break, weunpacked a hard truth that
(02:03):
external successes doesn'talways equal internal peace,
does it?
Maybe men chase titles, maybe wechase money, maybe it's even
recognition, but only to findourselves feeling empty at the
end of the day.
What if that breakthrough thatyou're looking for isn't
external at all?
Then what if the realtransformation begins within?
(02:23):
And so today's guest knows thisjourney all too well.
Chad Brignak is atransformationalist speaker
consultant and bringshigh-performance leaders to help
them find alignment, emotionalintelligence, and purpose.
The trans profit and a seasonedconstruction industry leader who
has turned leadership guide, hisleadership guide, and Chad's
personal wake-up call almostcost him everything.
(02:46):
I'm sure we're going to get intothat today.
Since then, he's devoted hislife to helping others reclaim
who they truly are from theinside out.
Welcome to the show, Chad.
How are things, my friend?
SPEAKER_02 (02:55):
Going great.
Really enjoying living andwalking and breathing inside my
purpose.
I'm looking forward to the show.
SPEAKER_00 (03:03):
Oh, I love that.
I love the sound of that.
Absolutely.
We're all about living withinand purpose and really looking
forward to our conversationtoday.
And so my opening question foryou today, Chad, is you're going
to talk about all of us being ona hero's quest of some sort.
And then your journey, tell usabout that moment in your life
when you knew things had tochange.
What shifted for you?
And what how did that shape youinto the man you are today?
SPEAKER_02 (03:26):
Yeah, so for me, it was tragedy that struck that
really put me in a position tobe able to look at my life from
a different perspective.
My wife had a massive stroke in2019, December 1st.
And it wasn't even in thatinstant moment.
It was when my head came upabove the water a year and a
half later after my only focuswas to make sure she was cared
(03:48):
for and I was a full-timecaregiver.
But as I pulled my head up outof the water, I looked at all
the things that I hadaccomplished in the business
world and all the things that Ihad built in construction.
And I looked around at thepeople that I had influenced and
who I had around me, includingmy family, and I realized that
my legacy was broken.
And it was in that moment I hadto say, Chad, you're responsible
(04:11):
for everything broken aroundyou.
Don't blame anyone or anythingelse except the fact that you
are responsible for all of it.
I didn't say that because it wastrue or not true.
I said that because it needed toput my internal being into a
position that was ready to grow.
SPEAKER_00 (04:30):
That's such a powerful statement that you
talked about your legacy wasbroken.
And how often do we get anopportunity to face that monster
in our lives that when weconsider the work that we're
doing, we talked about in theintro a little bit about how we
chase titles or we chasesuccess.
And you ended up by having toface this reality.
(04:50):
And so tell us a little bit moreabout what you mean by legacy
being broken.
SPEAKER_02 (04:56):
Yeah, so for me, my legacy is my life gonna live on
from the people that I'vetouched.
My wife, my children, mygrandchildren, those that I
worked with, worked alongsideof.
Are they gonna remember ChadBrignack because the impact that
he made into their lives and thevalue that he added?
Are they gonna remember ChadBrignack also briefly because he
(05:17):
built a lot of big things?
And my legacy was about buildingthings.
It wasn't about building people.
And I realized that I had a lotof opportunity to influence
others to be great, to findtheir purpose, to walk in their
purpose.
But it was the way I was, it wasthe way I was brought up, it was
(05:40):
the way I was trained, it wasthe way I learned that business,
the way I learned the industry,that built walls around my life
that didn't let people in.
And I didn't know those wallswere constructed, and I
certainly didn't know I washiding behind them until this
moment when I had to peek overthe top and go, my hands have
(06:00):
not touched the life the waythat I expected them to.
And that's what I meant by mylegacy was broken.
SPEAKER_00 (06:07):
Yeah, it makes so much sense to me, Chad, when you
say that.
Oh, it rings all very true in mylife as well.
Building a lot of other things,things that I felt were
important, especially at thetime, only to recognize that
what was truly valuable andtruly important had nothing to
do with really business success.
It has more to do with theimpact I'm making on family and
(06:29):
on friends and people that arethat I care about.
And so you talk a lot about thedifference between looking what
outward success looks like andthen this inward alignment.
So, how did you discover?
You obviously with your wife'sstroke, that was one step in the
process.
You're starting to unpack herefor us a little bit about
understanding that you were outof alignment.
(06:51):
And so, how did you start tocourse correct?
SPEAKER_02 (06:54):
Yeah, so the journey began long before that.
That was the wake-up call.
I had many wake-up calls prior.
I actually lost my first wife atage 28.
She was 30 years old, she passedaway instantly of a cerebral
aneurysm.
Was remarried about a yearlater, and we blended our
family, which that brought itsown events of opportunity for me
(07:19):
to transform and grow.
But there was a moment in mylife where I was in a
conversation with a pastor ofmine, and the conversation was
challenging me to speakdifferently to people, to change
my tone, change my voice, andthe way that I communicate, and
the words came out of me thatsaid, you don't realize I don't
even like people.
That's not how I really felt.
(07:40):
That's not how I thought I felt.
But because I was determinedthat no one was going to ever
hurt me, because I wasdetermined that I was gonna not
care what people thought of me,and I was gonna pursue the
things that I knew I needed topursue, provide well for my
family, love my family, dothings for my family, and be
(08:01):
there as a provisionary.
I didn't care what othersthought of me.
I didn't care if they thought mysuccess came with collateral
damage.
It didn't matter to me whatother people thought.
And that developed within me,and it doesn't develop for
everybody, but that developedwithin me the way I protected
myself was I started to just notlike people.
(08:22):
That was the defining moment,and that was about 15 years ago.
And that's when the journeyreally began to go, what how
could I end up there?
Because that's not the heart,that's not the person, that's
not who I ever wanted to be.
And those words shocked even me.
Then the stroke happened roughlyseven years later or so, eight
(08:45):
years later, as I'm on thisjourney and having challenges
from business owners,co-workers, business partners,
my wife, who is the extrovert inthe environment.
And I'm constantly beingchallenged internally to change
how I view people.
I did have a shift in thatmoment to say I care what people
(09:07):
think of me.
It's how I process that matters.
So it shifted, and I said, Idon't want to be the guy that
doesn't like people.
I want to love people, I want tofollow Christ as far as related
to people.
I want to see people in a newway.
That was easy to say, and abouta 12-year journey to get to,
which is where I am today.
And it was in that moment afterthe stroke when my head came up
(09:30):
above the water to go, that hadhurt me.
I had planted more seeds in thatseason of my life before I
recognized I didn't like people,that I had not done enough to
cultivate new seed or plant newseed over the next 12 years,
although I was growing on theinside.
And it was that openness andvulnerability to say, I'll take
ownership of all of it.
(09:53):
I don't need to know whathappened or why it happened.
I just need to know that I'm atfault.
unknown (09:58):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (09:59):
Because in order for me to plant new seed, something
had to change within me.
So my process began with just alevel of starting to look at
vulnerability as a positivething.
Not going to be afraid forpeople to get close enough to
hurt me.
I'm not going to be afraid forpeople to say things that
trigger.
Do I still get triggered?
(10:20):
I still get triggered now.
It was how I looked at thosetriggers.
I started a journey to say,okay, if something triggered me,
I want to know why.
I don't want to react.
I don't want to overreact.
I want to simply just know why.
And when I started to ask thewhy did that trigger me, and I
drilled down into the reason Igot triggered, I started to
(10:41):
discover the roots of pain in mylife that created fear and
insecurity and pride and ego.
And I would work backwards intothose roots.
And then I would just ask theLord to start to deal with those
roots and I would move on to thenext trigger.
But it it's constantly thequestion of if something hits me
on the inside, my first reactionnow is a pause.
(11:05):
And there's so much power in thepause.
I want to know why.
And then I respond out of love,regardless of the trigger,
because typically every time ithappens, it's never the person
that triggered me.
It's never the situation thattriggered me.
It's always something deeper andbigger from my past, or there's
(11:26):
something that still needsgrowth within me.
SPEAKER_00 (11:30):
That is so true.
I'm just made to note that thepower is in the pause.
And I think that is such apower, it's really a truly a
powerful remembrance for all ofus to recognize that really what
you're talking about as being istruly being emotionally
intelligent, leaders ofourselves first and foremost.
And then taking the having thecourage, the confidence to be
(11:51):
vulnerable enough to accept thatsomething here is happening.
And you're absolutely right.
It's very little, if anything,to do with the immediacy of that
moment.
It has everything to do, most ofit to do with what we've
processed from lessons in thepast.
And so being able to help usbring it forward into the
present, we can start to dealwith things.
And I like that you've leaned onfaith to also help you take off
(12:14):
this burden because that's whatit's truly there for to help us
relieve some of this burden.
And so you talk about in yourbook Blend Ben Bend Don't Break.
You address this dynamic, thisidea of these dynamic families.
So let's talk about how thatleadership lesson there really
helped apply to how you'reteaching men and families to
(12:35):
lead in these types ofenvironments.
SPEAKER_02 (12:38):
Yeah, so it's a play on bend don't break, it's blend
don't break.
Right on.
You had it right the first time.
Yes.
Creating your family secretsauce, which now that book is
out, and I've read it fivetimes, and I'm on my sixth time
reading it.
It's going to become a series: Blend Don't Break, Creating Your (12:54):
undefined
Business's Secret Sauce, BlendDon't Break, Creating Your
Church's Secret Sauce.
I am already working on theoutlines for those books.
So they'll be coming out overthe next couple of years.
Because the leadership lessonsthat came out of the book that
wasn't intended as we werewriting it, we just we set out
(13:16):
to write a book that would besupportive of blended families
to not walk through what we walkthrough.
To break out of there, learnbehaviors, personal vows,
insecurities, learn to forgive,clean the slate, recognize that
you don't need a traumatic eventin your life in order to grow.
You can make a choice.
And if you think about it,everybody has faced some sort of
(13:38):
trauma because trauma is yourperspective of what happened to
you.
We could see as adults that ourchildren didn't face trauma.
We actually even thought that.
But then when we got theirperspective in the book, because
they each have a chapter inwhich they were interviewed in
the book, we recognized that wasreal trauma to them.
(14:01):
And it didn't matter what ourperspective was.
And that's where we realized inthe business world, people are
in your room that have realtrauma to them.
And we just push that aside asthough they don't have a right
to feel that way or think thatway.
And we have to start recognizingpeople's rights to have certain
feelings.
It's the only way we're going tobe able to grow together and
(14:24):
everybody find their uniquepurpose.
So in the process of writing thebook, I became more vulnerable.
My life is exposed in that book,my mistakes, my anger, which is
my defense mechanism to dealwith everything that affected
me.
The fact that my work became mysafe space because I felt
(14:44):
accepted there.
I felt accomplished there.
I didn't feel as accomplished athome, but I would treat my home
as though it was a businessbecause I felt more confident
there at work, and that spirojust continued to get worse and
impact my family and impact mycareer because I made more
career moves than I would havemade had I had a healthy home
(15:06):
environment.
I was always searching for thatpeace, and I always would find
it in becoming a workaholic,putting in the 80, 90 hours a
week, being challenged with newprojects, with new things I
could accomplish that otherscouldn't do, doing it faster
than others, doing it betterthan others.
And I just left a wake ofdestruction as far as related to
(15:29):
people.
And in the book, that level ofvulnerability began to show me
three things that I was learningabout myself and discovering
that I had changed from nothaving to having.
I lacked self-awareness.
I gained it in the process ofwriting the book.
I lacked emotional intelligence.
(15:52):
I not only gained emotionalintelligence, but I have a new
perspective on what emotionalintelligence is.
And it's more than justregulating your emotions the way
that it's been taught.
It's that clarity andunderstanding of what that
(16:12):
emotion means and why you haveit.
You can regulate it bysuppressing it, but when you
feel pressure, you're going torealize you never grew in
emotional intelligence becausewhat comes out when you get
squeezed is going to be exactlythe person that you are.
So I look for opportunities tobe squeezed because I want to
know that I changed and grew inemotional intelligence.
(16:35):
And then finally, compassionateleadership, modeling after
Christ, how he walked incompassion.
He had a way of communicatingwith people and showing love
first, which gave himopportunity to speak bold truth.
And people received it.
Whether they agreed or not, theystill received it.
(16:55):
And that compassionateleadership clearly begins with
servant leadership, but it's themodel of my life is not more
important than someone else's.
I'm willing to put that lifeaside to give someone a moment
to find their purpose, to findtheir place, to be accepted for
who they are and where they are.
Those three things have begun toshift my consulting business.
(17:19):
I was always operations andstrategic minded and systems.
And I changed my business modelto start consulting on this
inner work because I believetrue success is inner peace, not
outward outward performance orposition.
That all came from this processof writing this book.
That was the accumulation of mytransformational growth over the
(17:43):
last two years.
It started in November of 2023.
And that process has been theaccumulation of taking my
personal growth and mytransformation full circle to
bring me to a place of thisunderstanding that I have now.
And the things that I wasfighting to learn now start to
(18:06):
come natural.
That pause is natural.
The response instead of thereaction is natural.
Again, I'll repeat the triggersare still there.
But they don't, they're like asignal light.
Hey, they just turn yellow,start to slow down, it's red,
stop.
It's not a car crash.
It's not somebody throwing afist at me.
(18:29):
It's not the way I used to feelit before, but they're still
there.
SPEAKER_00 (18:35):
I think that's the key, really that key for growth,
isn't it?
Is being able to recognize thatour ability to grow and change
as men isn't about eliminatingthese things, this part of our
lives.
We talk in our work about thatbeing the shadow work, these
triggers, these things that arehappening below the surface for
us.
And we don't want to address it.
But if we willing to have thecourage and be have that
(18:58):
vulnerable confidence that youtalk about as well, and lean
into that, we can we can startto have different mechanisms to
deal with that.
And it's obvious through hearingyour story that you've been able
to transition that fromsomething that is was a reactive
state to being much more of froma pause and be able to be
respond in a way that makes moresense.
(19:21):
And so through that journey,though, you must have recognized
that there were some blind spotsthat you had.
And maybe now in your consultingwork, maybe there's some
patterns or some common blindspots you're seeing that other
individuals.
And let's talk about those for acouple minutes.
SPEAKER_02 (19:35):
Blind spots, I still have.
Blind spots, I'm gonna have, Ibelieve, the rest of my life.
I have my second book coming outcalled The Visionary Storm, and
we reference blind spots.
They come in two ways.
They come in, we gotta look inthe mirror to reflect on
ourselves.
But even when we look in themirror, just as we're changing
(19:58):
lanes in the car, there'scertain, unless we navigate for
forever trying to find everyspot, we're gonna miss a spot.
And we have a potential to notsee a car or motorbike which is
smaller on the side of us whenwe change lanes.
But if we spend too much time inthat mirror, we're not looking
forward.
(20:18):
So then we can rear endsomething in front of us.
That's how our life is.
So for me, that's the first wayof blind spots.
And then for me, I reflect longenough to gain growth from it.
I reflect no long enough for itto serve a purpose in my today.
And then I don't ever use itagain.
(20:39):
From that reflection, though, Irecognize that even though I
reflected, I still may havemissed something.
So this open and vulnerable lifeis that when I do say something
that is that comes off wrong orit's different from what I
believe I grow past, I hear itnow.
I feel it, I sense it.
(21:01):
And then I let others in.
So I let anyone in my world,stranger or known, impact my
life and show me my blind spots.
And I don't take anything that'ssaid back to me personally, I
take it as help.
I take it as an opportunity togrow.
(21:22):
So right now, there's certainthings my wife does that I still
revert, I want to revert back tothat anger thing, and that's a
blind spot for me.
I'll get a question that catchesme off guard, and I'll nowhere
near snap back the way I usedto, but there's a reaction that
(21:43):
I'm like, okay, that's not you.
And I'll go to her and I'll saywhat I just did, how did I?
And because it's so much better,it impacted her less, but it
still impacted her.
I have I was at an environment,and this is a good story for
(22:03):
this, and a lady was frustratedpicking up her service, which
she expected to get.
The people that I was with, theywere helping her the best they
possibly could, but she wasmiserable.
And it showed in the attitude,and it culminated with her
(22:27):
saying, Y'all have an amazingday, and we say, You too, and
she goes, I won't.
And I recognize okay, that wasin sarcasm when she said, Have
an amazing day.
And she's really determined inher life that she's not going to
today because this eventderailed her life a little bit.
(22:49):
Yeah.
Everyone else started to makecomments, and I sat back quietly
and I go, Have I ever done that?
Did I ever act like that?
And if I'm gonna stand heretoday and say she doesn't have a
right to act that way, why did Ihave a right to act that way in
the past?
And how do I avoid doing thatagain in the future?
(23:13):
So that's what I mean byeveryone impacts my life.
It doesn't matter if it's a goodsituation or a bad situation.
I'm looking for the opportunityto not pinpoint that person out
or look at that person in a way,but let that person show me.
Yeah.
The other blind spots are thingsthat we don't see coming from
(23:34):
the side of us.
Things we don't see coming at ahigh speed and a high rate of
speed.
And there's people in our livesthat are saying, like my wife
used to tell me all the time,Chad, you can't talk to people
that way.
Babe, we gotta be more engagedwith people.
Babe, we gotta spend more timewith these people.
(23:54):
You gotta do this with yoursons, you gotta do it separately
with your sons.
I'll come home and share a workstory and go, you talk to them
like that?
Yeah, that's how I was raised.
But does that matter?
Those things are just coming atyou.
And there's very little thingsthat I learned that require an
(24:17):
emergency type of response fromus in our life.
And when we posture ourselves tobe able to recognize that very
little things require that kindof reaction, we can slow down
enough to hear other peoplegiving us warning.
(24:39):
And in my book, I wrote mystory, I pulled out in traffic.
I didn't pull out in traffic, Ipulled out after a train and I
got sideswiped in my mom's car.
I was 15 years old.
I learned later that the peoplewere flagging me, they were
blowing the horn at me.
They were trying to get myattention loud and clear.
(25:02):
But because my radio was up,because I was the 15-year-old
son, the youngest boy driving mymom's brand new car that my
brothers didn't get to drive.
My pride was up, my ego was up,my music was up, and I was just
in my zone, and no one was gonnapenetrate me, and I didn't need
(25:23):
anyone's help.
And that's a model of successfulleaders.
That I'm the king, I'm incharge, I'm accomplishing all
these things.
We're making billions, we'remaking millions, we're, and no
one's gonna impact my life, andthat leaves us vulnerable to so
many blind spots.
(25:45):
And those blind spots generallyalways impact relationships.
They rarely impact businesssuccess.
I do want to say, and I've beensaying, I've been thinking it
since the start of the call,there's nothing wrong with
business success.
It's when it comes at theexpense of people.
SPEAKER_00 (26:06):
Exactly.
SPEAKER_02 (26:06):
Then there's a major issue with business success.
I'm an advocate for businesssuccess.
Of course, I want a successfulconsulting business, a
successful speaking business.
I want to write 25 more booksover the next 10 years.
We all want success, but mypeople compass was off.
And I had to dial in my peoplecompass over the last two years.
(26:34):
Transformation began long beforethat, but over the last two
years I had to get reallyserious and dial in my people
compass.
And the way I did that is to putaside business success.
It had no value for mewhatsoever.
That was the road I had totravel.
Does everyone have to travelthat?
(26:54):
Not necessarily, but I did.
You gotta find that road youhave to travel, and that's gonna
show you a purpose.
And some people may be living intheir purpose in that CEO seat,
in that COO seat, in thatpresident, that business owner.
That may be their purpose.
They just need some refinementin how they navigate every day
(27:16):
so they can bring people aroundthem and find fulfillment in
relationship and find internalhealing.
So everyone's journey isdifferent, but the outcome of
inner peace is the only realsuccess.
SPEAKER_00 (27:33):
Yeah, I completely agree with you.
And just as you're talking aboutpurpose, and we started this
podcast today talking aboutthat, and that it does become, I
find more and more, you know,individuals that I have on the
show, and I look back at my lifeas well, we do get wrapped up in
this purpose trap, right?
Where we feel that we're livingour purpose, so to speak, at the
(27:54):
ex, but at times it's at theexpense of other things.
And you can still be in purpose.
And I like how you're framingthis for us is that we can still
be in purpose and still refineand re and recognize that there
are other things that are justare just as important to help us
because that's where thefulfillment resides.
You may be living the career orthe piece of your life, and
(28:17):
maybe even at your purpose islet's flip it on the other side.
Maybe your purpose is all aboutjust being a parent.
But if you get lost in that oneaspect, you're missing so much
more in life.
And so, for when I think abouthow you're talking about purpose
and that and the work thatyou're doing right now, what
advice would you give a manwho's maybe feel stuck?
(28:39):
Like he's performing really wellexternally, but he is feeling
empty and he is feelingdisconnected.
What would be that advice you'dgive him?
SPEAKER_02 (28:49):
What I would say is you peel back the curtain to the
inner soul and you look atrelationships, take away all the
business accolades, just look atyour relationships.
Look around your life to seewho's closest, who's putting
(29:10):
trust and confidence in you,who's approaching you.
And if you based on what you'redying, you'll know how much
influence you've gained withpeople around you.
I'm not asking you to askyourself if you are
approachable, if you love yourloved ones, if you love your
(29:33):
wife, if you love your husband,if you love your kids, if you
love your family, your friends,if you believe you're
approachable.
I'm not asking for any of that.
I'm asking you to actually pullback the curtain and see if
these people are receiving thosethings, if they are coming to
you, if I tell a story thatAmazon can deliver a package and
(29:54):
set it outside the door, but ifI never open it, I could send it
to one of my children, but if itsits outside the door, The door
and they never get it and openit, it's not received.
So I sent so much love myfamily's way.
But the majority of that was notreceived because I didn't deal
with the issue of why theyweren't receiving it.
And the reason they wasn'treceiving is they didn't feel
(30:16):
they were heard, they didn'tfeel they had a voice, they
didn't feel dad wasapproachable.
The people at work didn't feel Iwas approachable.
The people that I was successfulwith are the ones that had the
same bad attitude I did, and wewould get a lot of work done.
And we would even laugh and cutup.
But if they were hurting athome, I would have never heard
(30:38):
anything about it.
If they were hurting in theirrelationships, I would have
never heard anything about it.
And the most vulnerable time Iwas in my life, in my career,
was when my first wife diedbecause everyone knew about it
because I took two and a halfweeks off of work.
So when I showed back up, therewas a different attitude towards
me for just a season until thejerk came back.
(31:04):
Then everything went back to thestatus quoted it was.
And that's the kind of curtainpullback I'm talking about.
I had opportunities becausepeople wanted to be there for
me.
That I could have changed theway I worked with people, talked
with people, dealt with people,loved people, led people.
(31:25):
I could have changed it all inthat moment because life gave me
a grand opportunity to do it.
And failures to do that for us.
Any failure, any difficult time,any traumatic event will give us
an opportunity to redirect ourpeople compass, whether we take
it or not, is totally up to us.
SPEAKER_00 (31:45):
Yes.
Love that idea of this peoplecompass.
And one of the notes I justwrote down is that they didn't
feel that they were heard.
And I'm about to address somevery challenging conversations
this upcoming week.
And so thank you for that gentlereminder for me to be aware of
that are they being heard?
(32:05):
Because I think that issomething we tend to maybe
forget.
And so Chad have just loved thisconversation.
So of everything that we spokeabout today, but maybe there was
something we didn't get a chanceto touch on.
And what would be a takeawayyou'd want our listeners to
have?
SPEAKER_02 (32:22):
One thing we talk about in the book, Blend Don't
Break, is the greenhouse effect.
And I believe I've shared thison the last couple podcasts that
I've been on, that because it'sso important to me, this
greenhouse effect is tellingleaders that you're responsible
for the environment in which theplants flourish and grow.
You're responsible to keep thetemperature controlled, the
(32:46):
light controlled, the greenhouseprotection sealed and not left
open to vomits and things likethat.
And too many leaders get caughtup in I'm responsible to bend
and shape and nurture the plantand direct and shift.
And that's the same thing withour people.
I'm responsible to push them inthis direction or pull them in
that direction.
(33:06):
And we see plants and trees asthey go where we'll put sticks
in them and try to get them togo a certain way.
All they're shooting for is thelight.
All they're aiming to get to isthe best environment.
So if we're having to put sticksand nail ropes and tie these
things on them, it's becausesomething happened.
(33:27):
Or we're not creating the rightenvironment or the right light
for them to grow in the rightdirection.
We have so little to do withwhat people are drawn to
accomplish when we're in theirKool-Aid, when we're constantly
trying to shape and mold anddirect.
(33:49):
And we have so much to do withwhat they're willing to invest
and put in when we create ahealthy environment for them to
thrive in.
(34:33):
That's what I would leavelisteners with.
It's two dynamics that haverevolutionized the way I see my
family, business, and the world,to be honest with you.
SPEAKER_00 (34:47):
What a great way for us to wrap up today's
conversation.
I just want to say, Chad, thankyou so much for being an
outstanding guest and joining mehere today and sharing your
wisdom, not just on purpose,being a purpose-driven leader,
but also being emotionallyintelligent as well and
transformative.
And so your journey truly isthis reminder for us that the
greatest leaders are those whochoose to lead from within and
(35:10):
from listening.
For those of us that arelistening and you want to
connect deeper into your work,what would be the best way for
them to do that?
SPEAKER_02 (35:17):
The best way is to go to my website,
Chadmbrignack.com.
SPEAKER_00 (35:22):
Love that.
I'm going to make sure that's onin today's show notes as well to
wherever else, Chad, you're onsocial media.
Want to make sure that folks getan opportunity to connect with
you.
Once again, thank you so much,my friend, for being on the
show.
I love today's conversation.
SPEAKER_02 (35:35):
Thank you so much.
I enjoyed being here.
SPEAKER_01 (35:49):
Thank you for listening to the Revolutionary
Man podcast.
Are you ready to own yourdestiny?
To become more the man you'redestined to be?
Join the Brotherhood that is TheAwakened Man at
theawakendeman.net.
Start forging a new destinytoday.
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